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Thread: Romeo and Her Juliet~An AppealShipping Fic One-Shot Rated PG-13

  1. #1
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    Post Romeo and Her Juliet~An AppealShipping Fic One-Shot Rated PG-13

    Yes, another one-shot! This one is for a little bit 'older' audiences and therefore PG-13. And yes, the title is correct, and you'll see why. Everyone is in the 10th grade, 'cept for the adults....who will stay adults. (Discludes Team Rocket who will be non-existant in this story.) Nintendo, Game Freak, etc. own Pokemon not me, I just used their characters. Shakesbere owns Romeo and Juliet. Characters can be found on Wikipedia under Romeo and Juliet. And...It's in Dawn's POV, so she will be narrating. Now that all this is done......

    [
    B]Romeo and Her Juliet[/B
    ]

    By: BlankAsPaper

    ---

    "Now class, as you know, the whole 10th grade is doing 'Romeo and Juliet' by Nandosbere the II, we have 13 random roles," Mr. Elm said, looking at the class, although it felt like he was staring at me, "And, for it to be fair, everyone will be picking parts out of a hat."

    My class groaned. Only Whitney White, the most perkiest girl in the school, smilied. I was iffy about the topic, one way it was fair, and in another way it wasn't, what if I got the part of The Ditto Jester? I imagined myself in a tacky Ditto costume, dancing like May's dad did back in the days. Okay, eeew!

    Mr. Elm held up one ugly hot-pink party hat that read, 'Happy 40th Birthday!' on the top and one black and purple top-hat from Mardi Gras, he smiled deviously. I had Dustoxes in my stomach, and the word, 'Ditto' kept repeating in my head.

    "Dawn, you're first," Mr. Elm said, shoving the hot-pink turd in my face.

    "Shiz! Why'd I have to be in the front? Oh, wait, that was Mr. Elm's decision, but still, SHIZ!" I thought, reaching my hand in, nervously, hoping the words 'The Ditto Jester' wouldn't appear in the tiny scrunched up paper I pulled out. The Dustoxes in my stomach were multiplying like wild-fire.

    "Whaddya get?" Ash called from the back of the room. My jaw dropped. The paper in front of me read the words I had been dreading. It was like staring at a Darkrai.

    "I got...The Ditto Jester...." I announced mournfully. My heart dropped down to the bottom of the planet. Where was a Dialga or a Celebi when you needed one? I felt like crying. It was times like this I wish I had boyfriend, but Lucas Diamond dumped me a week ago. That butt-muncher! I never had much luck with boys, in fact, I have as much luck with boys as a Spinda has of walking a straight line. I'm just not lucky. But Mr. Elm didn't care, he moved on to Misty Waterflower's desk, without a glance at poor, ol' me. Misty cheerfully put her skinny, ugly hand into the pink hat, sticking her toungue out at me. What a biyotch!

    "I got.....Rosaline?!" Misty yelled, slamming her French-maincured tips on her grody table, "That kinky loser?!"

    "No....She's the reason why Romeo falls in love with Juliet! A very important role, Misty!" Mr. Elm said, smiling weirdly. Ha! Take that Misty!

    Mr. Elm continued to walk down the small crevice of a pathway between Mr. Elm's oak desk and the neat row of wooden desks untill he reached th last desk in the row, Whitney's desk. Whitney reached, grinnning cheerfully at me and Misty, oh how I wanted to puke.

    "Oooooh! I got the Narrator! Wheee!" she exclaimed happily, waving that stupid scrap of paper in the air. I could feel the puke coming up. I was just absolutely jealous of Misty and Whitney. It wasn't fair! It wasn't fair! I wanted a Jirachi, forget the Dialga or the Celebi, I wanted a wish to Juliet, or at least something different besides The Ditto Jester!

    Mr. Elm made his way around the 2nd row, Richie got Mercutio, Drew had secured the part of Romeo, and Tracy had landed Count Paris, the one who Juliet was supposed to marry. Soon he made it to the 3rd row, May had gotten the part of Lady Capulet, Daisy (Oak) was bestowed upon the part of Angelica, and Maylene was to preform the part of the Apothecary. (Who will be female in this play.) But I didn't really care! I just wanted to see who got the role of ...(drumroll, please)...Juliet!! Oh, how I wanted to be Juliet, more than any ribbon or any hot boyfriend!! The last row had 4 people in it. And those 5 people were: Ash, Kenny, Harley, and Zoey-san. Zoey-san was my childhood friend. Zoey-san's really smart and helps me with my homework. Zoey-san is kinda cute...I have to admit....Oh, who am I kidding?! She's drop-dead gorgeous! But I'd never date her...she's my friend, not my girl-friend! But there was only one girl spot left, and that meant.....! Zoey-san was Juliet! She's soooooooooo lucky! Sigh.....

    "Okay....I'm going to pick for the boys because Zoey has already taken the part of Juliet, Ash: You're Lord Capulet. Harley: You're Gregory. Kenny: You're Tybalt. And that concludes the giving of the parts. Now, I'm going to hand-out the play, you can read it over lunch as 4th period seems to be coming to an end, thank you and come again to Mr. Elm's Amazing Drama Theatre(TM)," Mr. Elm said dully as the period bell rang.

    ---

    "Omigawd! Zoey-sama you're soooo lucky!" I heard Misty say as she gawked Zoey-san. I sat down next to Zoey-san and scooted Misty off the table.

    "Thanks for saving my spot, Rosaline!" I said, grinning in my head. Misty stared at me gingerly. Zoey-san turned to me suddenly. I adverted her gaze. Stare at the giant Pokeball on the wall... I thought to myself.

    "Ummm...That Pokeball's quite big, don't cha think, Zoe-san?" I said, quickly. Without thinking, I put my head on her shoulders. Wrong move... I think, snapping my head off her soft, delicate shoulders. Wait. What did I just say? Am I crushing? On Zoey-san? I shook my head vigorously. Nononononononononononononononono...I'm straight, I'm straight, I nervously debate in my head, who knew sexual orientation would be such a problem? I shake it off and stare at my chicken nuggets.

    "Dawn-san, are you okay?" Zoey-san asks me all-of-the-sudden. I sigh.

    "Yeah, it's nothing, just nothing," I say and stand up, grabbing my tray, "I need to get some more ketchup."

    ---

    3:00 never felt so good. It was like stepping into one of those hot-springs in Hoenn. To be away from it all, was great. To be away from Zoey-san, even better. To think I might be falling in love with her....such an out-landish claim.

    "Hi mom, I'm home," I say, avoiding her glaze as I walk into the quiet house-hold. I could smell the okonomiyaki cooking on the stove. My house was more like an apartment, only for my mom and me, not for a whole bunch of weirdos. My whole 1st floor only had my kitchen, that was only about 4 feet wide, and contained a almost-broken old stove, a beaten up old refrigerator, and a scraped-up old kitchen island, complete with two worn-out bar-stools, and my living room was nothing to talk about, a ratty, tangled tassle rug held my 30-something year old couch, which was vertical to my oddly new TV, which could transmit cable like THAT! Upstairs is where our beds were. I was about to fall on the couch when I noticed a certain someone.

    "Zoey-san! Why are you here?" I almost screamed, what was Zoey-san doing here?

    "Oh, Zoey-san said that her house is being re-modled, and she asked if she could stay here. I hope you don't mind," Mom said, flipping the cabbage, flour, and eggs pancake.

    "Noooooo...Not in the least," I mumble, setting my back-pack down by the stairs.

    "Hey Dawn-san, why don't we go practice our parts?" Zoey-san said gently. Her red hair was glittering oh-so gently in the light being let in by the ugly, boxed windows. How could I say no?

    "Okay, but we don't have to practice mine, all I have to do is dance like a nincon-poop and make lame jokes about Dittos," I say and we both run up to my room.

    My room was surprizingly 'pretty', and not at all like the 1st floor. It was covered with posters of random hot guys and bands that I like. I had new cherry flooring, with a purple rug on top. My dresser, in the dead center, held my almost-new TV, which was purple and had tiny Mews dancing around the edges. My Wii stood next to it, gathering dust. I hadn't played it in a long time. The room color was a placid pink, which seemed to stare at anyone who walked in. To my right, there was my bed, my bed was bunked, 'cause when Zoey-san used to sleep-over, there wasn't any room. The closet was to my left, it held old Bratz dolls and the random Barbie doll in between, besides my clothes. And by my bed, there was a cork-board with unique pictures of me and Zoey-san.

    "Wow! Your room looks a lot better than before!" Zoey-san said, wonderment dripping from each word.

    "Thanks, let's get started, I'll be Romeo," I say, getting into character.

    ---

    "Romeo, Romeo, where art thou, Romeo?" Zoey-san acted. She was very good. She could hit the characters traits juuust right, just as real actors would.

    "Right here, my fair maiden!" I say, gesturing to Zoey-san in a kind way.

    "Romeo! I knew you would return!" Zoey-san exclaimed, hugging me. Oh, that felt so gooood!

    "For you, it shall be a simple task!" I yell, staring into Zoey-san's endless eyes.

    "And cut!" Zoey-san giggled. We both fell on the bottom bunk, guffawing happily.


    "Zoey-san," I start.

    "Yeah?" she says, looking into my eyes. I can feel those Dustoxes inviting Beautiflies into my stomach. I had to tell her now!

    "I...I...think you're a great friend, and I wouldn't trade you for a Mew!" I say, and embrace her. Damn it! I can't do it! Why...?

    "Same here, Dawn-san," Zoey-san says and hugs me as well. I'm being flooded in the stomach with more and more Dustoxes and Butterflies.

    "Hey Dawn-san, I wanna see your Ditto Jester act!" she said, tickling me.

    "Okay! Fine!" I say, getting off the squeaky bed.

    "Hey, Lady Capulet, whaddya get when you cross a Gym Badge and a Ditto?"

    "I don't know!" Zoey-san said, in a fake British accent.

    "A fake win, Gyuhehehe!" I said, and did a silly dance. My Piplup woke up and mocked me.

    "Your laugh is funnier than your act!" Zoey-san said, giggling.

    "Okay girls, the okonomiyaki is ready!" Mom called from downstairs.

    ---

    It was the night of the play. The lights were so bright they could burn a hole in the sun. The curtains were tattered and a fading red. The yellow tassles were waxy and tangled. But other than that, it was going to be a great night. I was in a dorky costume, as predicted, but that also would not ruin the night. Then I saw Zoey-san. She was wearing red hair-extensions with a gold tiara on top. It made her look like a queen, my queen. Her dress was long, peach-colored, had yellow lines running through the bottom hem, and had a silky shine. She really looked like Juliet. It made me want to make out with her more.

    "Hi Dawn-san, break a leg!" she said, waving to me, she was perfect, how could I deny it? I ran up to her, as fast as I could, there was no holding it back anymore. The Pokeball bells jingled on my hat as I galloped.

    "Zoey-san, I-"

    "SHOW TIME!" Mr. Elm yelled, "I need Juliet and the chorus, stat!"

    Damn.

    ---

    Juliet was back on stage, entering as gracefully as she went. She exhaled and looked up. When she saw me, she ran to me as fast as she could, but that wasn't as fast as she had that gorgeous dress to carry around.

    "Dawn-san! You did great! I think you actually cracked a good joke!" Zoey-san said, "Oh, and what did you want to say to me?"

    "I wanted to wish you luck, oh Zoe-san! You're up again!" I said, pointing at the worn clock on the wall. It was hard to hear and speak amongst yellings of random things.

    "Nah, we're in intermisssion. I almos-"

    "We need a new Romeo!" Mr. Elm shouted frantically, "Drew's got pooping problems!"

    Drew flipped his hair, "I'm fine, oh no, here comes another wave!"

    He ran off to the bathroom, grabbing his pants. Roses fell along in his sharp path.

    "I'll do it!" I announced, the room went silent, "I know Romeo's lines!"

    Mr. Elm looked at me like I was a two-headed Seviper.

    "Fine, to Wardrobe and Make-up you go!" he yelled, and a mob surrounded me.

    ---

    "....And with this parting kiss, I bid you good bye, my beloved Juliet," I say, leaning into Zoey-san's face, I pucker my lips, holding her soft face, and waiting for both lips to touch.

    It felt like magic.

    It felt better than anything before.

    It felt like winning the lottery.

    It felt like she was kissing back.

    "I love you," I whisper into her ear, before letting the poison caress my lips, really it was cranberry juice, and hypothetically killing me.

    "Good bye," were my last words.

    ---

    I sat back-stage, letting Drew bow in my place. He did all the work, I just kissed Zoey-chan, I mean -san. There was thunderous clapping and whistling. I waited, for what seemed like forever, for the others to arrive. Finally, the curtains parted, and there she was. She looked at me. She ran to me. She pulled me into the bathroom. She pulled me in into her embrace again.

    "I love you too," she finally said, placing her lips on mine. The kiss was like a butterfly on my lips, but soon it became rough and her toungue slid into my mouth. We fought for domain in mouths. But I eventually gave up. It felt fine. I didn't care about losing this time. To me it was sweet victory.

    "I love you, I loved you since the start," I said, taking a breath.

    "I didn't realize 'till now, and that was all I needed," Zoey-chan cooed.

    "I guess Romeo found her Juliet," I said, we both smilied.

    ---

    End

    So, hope you enjoyed! I worked really hard on this and enjoyed writing this. : ) So bring on the comments!
    Last edited by BlankAsPaper; 15th June 2008 at 4:50 PM. Reason: Mistakes, Fixes, and Add-ins

  2. #2
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    Interesting plot structure and character developement!
    Another great Appealshipping one-shot has graced the Shippings Fics forum on SPPf! I love how everything seems to go quickly yet quietly. The writing style is nice, not too much or too little.

    I have a few things for you to work on! Just a few minor things; not too much to ask. I believe that you try on describing the character's surroundings more -- to make it easier for the reader to visualize what the milieu looks and feels like to the characters. Another thing is to not rush things so much, try to lengthen out your one-shots/chapters. Add enough detail to make it plausiable, and enjoyable for your readers/reviewers.

    Since this is one of your first tries at writing an one-shot, I will grant you with a 8/10. Not too shabby for one of your firsts! I will be anticipating more Appealshipping fluff from you, or at least, I hope you write some more!

  3. #3
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    pretty good! things felt kinda rushed. One second dawn was saying she's straight, the next she said she wanted to make out with Zoey. you could explain a little more of how Dawn feels up to the forming of the new feelings. its just more appealing to the reader. But still, pretty good, i like how you included alot of the pokemon characters in it. :3

    ~riolulu


    Always, I wanna be with you
    And make believe with you
    And live in harmony, harmony
    Oh love!

    I will always love you.
    Please wait for me.

  4. #4
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    It was rushed....And the thing was that it was building up inside of Dawn, I tried, I tried. But thanks for taking time to read and review and all that mush. I'll try harder on my next one to add more description + more feeling. I understand your points and wouldn't argue.

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