Results 1 to 24 of 24

Thread: Final Destination (Luckyshipping + SSBB)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Default Final Destination (Luckyshipping + SSBB)

    Rating: PG-13 (I just found out violence makes it that way. I was confused)
    Ships: Luckyshipping
    genre: Action/Adventure
    If you're wondering about Charizard and Ivysaur, you're in for something interesting
    Please R+R!
    For those that occasionally visit the Red x Green Shipping thread, you may have already seen the first 4 parts of this fic. But, I'll post those here in case you may not want to click links. 3 & 4 will be up tomorrow, because I don't want to until then.

    PM list:
    Lord Dialga
    LuckyShipper8816

    Final Destination Ch. 1

    (play SSBB Theme here)
    …… (during intro)
    Red & Blue are in Pallet Town, & it’s been 3 months into their relationship, quarter-way into their half-anniversary, an anniversary with no tangible gifts. It was a clear day. They were just starting to open up, feeling that then was a good time. Bowser & Ganondorf were stalking them, waiting for the right chance to strike…
    Most of the time, Red & Green were around friends, so they couldn’t strike outnumbered.

    (fade SSBB theme)


    Bowser: Finally, we’ve caught them alone!
    Ganon: Time to INVITE them!
    Red & Green: Huh?
    Green: You owe me a soda!
    Red: Heh, darn.
    *Ganon & bowser jump out, play scary theme*
    Bowser: *grabs Blue and hoists her on his shoulder*
    Red: What are you doing to her!?
    Blue: Let me go!
    Ganon: *Takes Blue, and Bowser whips out his trophify gun while Ganon launches Green up, then Bowser shoots her*
    Red: NOOOOOOO!
    *Blue turns into a trophy*
    Ganon: Dark Void! *makes a dark void & Ganon paunches Red into it, then they all leap in*
    *Red & Blue's friends come into the scene*
    Green: let’s go after them!
    Yellow: In there?!
    Green: Well, I’m going! *Jumps into dark Void*
    Yellow: Wait for me! …Too late…
    *The dark void teleports them to the grounds of 2 mansions, Red being unconscious*
    “Red! Red! Wake up! I should’ve come sooner to take them into the light void…” says a voice.
    “Unh…where am I? Why are there two mansions near to each other? Must be seeing double…” murmured Red.
    “No, there really are two mansions.” Said someone.
    “Who are you?” asked Red.
    “I am Luigi. Mario’s younger brother. Right now, you’re in the smash bros. dimension. Your Pika has been here twice before.” Replied Luigi. Pika pops out of it’s poke ball. “Sorry I never told you, Red…” said Pika.
    “YOU CAN TALK?” asked Red.
    “Don’t scream so loud! I’ll fill you in when we get to the Good Guy Mansion. “Said Pika. Red then notices that one mansion is veiled in darkness, and the other is rather shiny.
    “Green should be here anytime now. He jumped in the dark void after us.” explained Pika. “I didn’t notice him.” Replied Red.
    (to be continued)

    Part Two

    Pika explains about all of his experiences in the smash bros dimension. It all happened by someone secretly taking some of Pika’s DNA & making another Pika. While Pika was dreaming, it takes the body of the clone pika and does smash bros adventure things without question, seeing as there were so many good guys. It even learned new attacks that currently, it couldn’t do outside of the smash bros dimension. But, for the other participants, they don’t access this dimension through a dream. Only Pika & (be surprised) Blue’s Jigglypuff have that dimension as a Dream World, Built by the Residents of Dream Land & Master hand. Now, after Pika’s explanation…

    “I see. So other dimensions really do exist. Well, how do I turn Blue back into the sweet girl I love?” asked Red. Pika was about to answer but Luigi wanted to answer instead.
    "Well, normally you just have to touch the trophy, but that can’t be done in this part of the dimension.” explained Luigi.
    "Why-“before Red was about to ask, Pit cut in.
    “That’s because the trophify gun, which was for the bad guys, was made in another part of this dimension. So, it can work anywhere near a void-maker, or in the same place it was made.” Explained Pit. “You wanna know more? There’s 3 days left before everything starts.”
    “Before what starts?” asked Red.
    "Yeah, can’t blame you for being new. It’s the Battle of the Sides. You see, everyone is transported to another part of this dimension, which has much from other dimensions. Copy, per say. The Battle of the Sides started in the second visit. It was known as “The Battle of the Sides Melee”. Now, it’s the Battle of the Sides Brawl. Your Pika was in the previous Melee one.” further explained Pit. Red looks at Pika. Ness comes in.

    “Hey, you look like that guy who was stalking Blue & I!” exclaimed Red.
    “I’ll tell you about that later!” said Ness, surprised Red recognized him. Pit looked at Ness, all confused. “Really, I mean LATER! Anyway… the ‘sides’ are Good and Evil. By main fighters, we quite outnumber them, but they’ve built an army ready for the Battle, so now they outnumber us. Oh, and I’ve noticed that your pokeballs are missing.” Said Ness. Red face then shows shock.

    “Here take these. These are Charizard, Squirtle, and Ivysaur. We took DNA from the starters of your used-to-be Ivysaur, & friends’ starters years ago, and cloned those too, and your real pokeballs have been transported to your home, under your bedsheets.” assured Pit. Red finds this all weird.

    “You’ll get used to this weirdness, don’t worry!” said pika.
    “Okay, so I’ll need to train.” thought Red to himself. He sends out the 3 pokemon. “The Charizard is… kinda small.” says Red. The Charizard just laughs, and accidentally burns a bit of the left collar on Red’s shirt from a mini-ball of flames.
    “Sorry… I was normally too big, so they shrunk me down to the maximum size so I can be under Brawl regulations. Not to mention that laughing-fire was a glitch in my cloning.” says Charizard.
    Red: I see…

    (to be continued)

    I've edited this a bit from the fics in the other forum. I've fixed some mistakes that it had. If you are going to review this, please tell which part you are reviewing, and keep it all in one post if you plan to review them both at once. Yes, I know that Ch. 1 & 2 might have been kinda short, but I've gone too far to change them now. I promise that the future chapters will be long enough to be considered much of a chapter. Those past 1 & 2 are longer than a page, last time I checked. I just copy & paste my work from microsoft word, which lets me know if it's longer than a page. My chapter 4 might have been too long, though.
    Last edited by tidalespeon257; 21st July 2008 at 5:41 PM. Reason: request for readers to review, confusion
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Default Chapter 3 & 4

    I forgot to mention in the previous post, that it would be appreciated if you would read and review. I added please R+R in the first post for first-time readers of this fic.

    Part 3


    Red learns all about how to fight in the Battle of the Sides, instructed by Luigi, Ness, & Pit. Pika watches with surprise at how quick Red learns. What Red does is use a device that sends commands to the pokemon. It is sort of like an RC remote, and like Blue’s bubble-command device. If Red, presses the left button, then the pokemon goes left, because it is all sound waves. The speed at which the pokemon goes depends on how tight Red presses the button. The ‘return’ button tells the pokemon to stop so Red can switch in another pokemon. Also, attack buttons were set up on his shoulders, arms, & mini-buttons were set up to his palm (it’s done by the magnet being attracted to Red’s aura). They change color depending on the pokemon that is out. On Green’s part, he was accepted as a guest in the Good Guy Mansion and has got himself a room. Now, as Red is asleep for the next day of training…

    ‘I’m… in a dark space, What does this mean?” Red asked himself.
    “It means that someone’s trying to communicate with you.” Said a familiar voice.
    “Blue! Is that you I hear?” asks Red, as Blue comes into view.
    “Yes. I can communicate with you using a friend’s psychic ability. Her name is Paula. She’s that person who was stalking us with Ness. She just likes to see romantic outings, apparently.” Explained Blue.
    “I see. What is it that you must tell me, Blue?” said Red.
    “Firstly… I love you!” cried Blue. She runs over to Red and hugs him tight. Red returns the hug.
    “I love you, too.” Replied Red. “Anything else important you must tell me?”
    “Yes. Master Hand has turned over to the dark side for some unknown reason. And, in the Sides Battle thing, there is a great entity, known as ‘Tabuu’ that is hiding in a thing named subspace. And, those two guys that attacked us were working for him!” explained Blue.
    “Doesn’t surprise me.” Said Red. “I certainly hope my real pokemon aren’t too worried.” Red thought out loud.
    “Well, they’re probably sleeping from being teleported. “ said Blue.
    “How do you know all this?” asked Red.
    “Well, I got the info from Paula. While the preparations were being made, she slipped into the dimension by some dimensional psychic move, and spied on the bad guys. Psychics sure are special from Paula & Ness’s dimension.” Explained Blue. “Also, Paula got turned into a trophy, so she wants to reunite with Ness. She’s Ness’s girlfriend. And she wants our help. I’ll deliver what Paula finds out every dream, so you can be prepared. She delivers her info to Ness personally. What a mouthful!” explained Blue, exhausted from the talking, taking a breather. (After 5 seconds…)
    “I get it now. We must work together to stop this Tabuu thing. Anybody other than Ness I can work with?” said Red.
    “Well, the Mario brothers and your training supervisors should gladly help.” Replied Blue.
    “Thank you. I’ll think of something to win the Battle.” assured Red.
    “Hmm, I’d kiss you now, but it seems that Paula’s power is running out. So long!” said Blue.
    After 3 seconds, Red then wakes up. “I’ll need all the help I can get! I better tell Luigi, Mario, Pika, & Pit about this!” thinks Red. He changes in his dressing room (with the clothes that were provided.), and goes outside.
    (to be continued)

    Part 4

    [insert words] = thoughts
    Red explained what dangers we had learned of in his dream. The Mario Bros., Ness, Pika, & Pit were surprised to know that Master Hand had turned over to the Evil Side of the Battle. Pit mentioned that he hasn’t seen Master Hand in quite a while, & presumes that maybe the big hand was going to be in league with the bad guys during the absence. Ness wondered what Master hand’s intention was. Red thought that Tabuu had something to do with it. A battle plan during training was being developed as Mario & Pit practice fight…

    “Hey, I don’t know everything yet. I get the Battle and all, but why must we be separated when it starts?” asked Red.
    “To find leads on the enemy’s plan. Although not all the good fighters have to do this. Some will just explore because they have no special objective at the time, for example: Meta Knight.” explained Luigi.
    “But! There will be a time that at least most of the ‘explorers’ will be needed as backups. Certain fighters have a job. Red, yours is to clear out the enemy forces in a certain area until you find a backup, and then you go onwards. While mine is to watch over someone who has forgotten everything about him once saved his own dimension.” further explained Ness.
    Red gets reminded of Blue. “Yeah, when Blue explains something long, she smiles and says she said a mouthful…” said Red, his eyes turning somewhat sad. Ness looks over to Lucas, who is just burning the weeds in the mansion garden with PK Fire.
    “You really miss her, don’tcha? Yeah, I miss Paula as much as you miss Blue. Paula pouts all cute whenever I try to be smart. Oh, and I see Lucas is practicing his PK fire to become a tower. But, he has a long way to go.” said Ness. “At least he’s saving the maids some trouble.”
    “Well, I better go practice with these rented pokemon.” says Red, turning to walk away. “Wait! This could be training for me too. How about I go against your borrowed pokemon?” asked Ness. “It’ll be a good way for me to get used to fighting again. Plus, some bricks won’t help you much, anyway.” Ness told Red.
    Red = [he has a point… although a psychic is stronger than a boulder too. I guess I should go to a stronger opponent than that. Eh, might as well.] “Yeah, it’s a win-win. Ness whips out a teleporter, presses the button, and they are teleported to the Battlefield. “Wha?!” exclaims Red, as he is standing on a floating platform, while Ness is in a floating island with 3 platforms suspended in air.
    *play battlefield music*
    “This is known as the ‘Battlefield’, where usually all practice matches are held. Now, send out a pokemon. Red sends out a pokemon, & says “Go, Squirtle!”.
    “3, 2, 1… time to fight! PK FIRE!” yells Ness, as a small thunderbolt forms in his right hand and throws it toward Squirtle. Squirtle is caught up in the tower of fire, in pain, but, not wincing. Red, who thought it’s not working, says teasing, “You didn’t do your homework! Fire no beat wataa, leetle man!” Ness smiles as he got some more motivation to fight. He continuously sends out PK Thunders after two more PK Fires to hit Squirtle, the last one which missed. Red is surprised that the continuous PK Thunders hurt Squirtle just as much as that lasting tower of PK Fire.
    Ness = [It seems that he has finally caught on that there’s no ‘not very’ or ‘super’ effective…time to get serious!] Ness then sends out a PK Thunder that starts to travel to his back.
    Red = [What? He’s gonna hurt himself! Unless he’s planning something.] “Squirtle, jump on the nearest platform!” commands Red. Squirtle jumped on the left of the platforms in-between the middle one. Ness predicted this. As the PK Thunder took the long road, it goes towards Ness’s neck.
    Ness = [there’s still a chance of missing, or not hitting hard enough.] The ball of electricity impacted the neck, and Ness is shot about 6 feet diagonally into Squirtle’s direction. It barely hits the turtle, as it goes back 1 foot.
    Red = [I must fight back!] “Get back! …Go, Ivysaur!” says Red. Red then pressed the left-shoulder-grab-button. Red then remembered something: there’s too few buttons for all the attacks. He must make movements along with pressing the buttons to make the non-button-only attacks. Red decided for Ivysaur to grab Ness, now knowing some of what he could do using Squirtle as a decoy. Ivysaur grabs Ness, Red moves his oarm the other direction, and Ivysaur throws Ness that direction, following with a Razor Leaf while Ness was down. 3 out of 5 leaves hit, as before the last two Ness got up and dodged. Then, Ness used his main weapon: the bat. He smacked it against Ivysaur, sending it flying off the stage.
    “No! Recover with Vine whip!” commanded Red, forgetting his buttons.
    Ivysaur = [I would’ve done that anyway!] Ivysaur recovered back to the stage. Red then presses his right palm button, which means ‘whip-tackle’. Ivysaur fakes a tackle, and sends out a vine whip to hit Ness, and it worked.
    Ness = [interesting]
    Ivysaur got closer to Ness after every whip-tackle, and missed the 4th. Then, a ball of purple light bearing the smash bros symbol suddenly materializes.
    “I better destroy it!” exclaims Ness. Thinking that the ball was a threat, (and it sort of was) Red decided to let Ness take care of it. Ness = [Oh, wait! I forgot to teach him about this! I might as well demonstrate the effects of the Smash ball, then!] Ness used electricity from his hands to break the Smash Ball. Red was surprised to see Ness glowing with the light of the ball. Ness jumped high into the air and yelled
    “PeeKaaaay… STARSTOOORM! Stars that seemed like meteors were falling down on the stage, and Red was surprised that the stars weren’t making a scratch on the terrain. But, Ivysaur was waaaaay knocked off the stage after 2 stars hit him.

    (to be continued)
    Last edited by tidalespeon257; 30th June 2008 at 2:05 AM.
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Default Ch. 5 & 6

    Sorry this took me a while, since my USB Flash Drive was lost and I only found it last night, so I could only add one fanfic today. This chapter is when the fighting the Subspace Army is going to start. Here's Ch. 5:

    After being knocked off far from the stage, Ivysaur was cloaked in a light which spread out in the opposite direction, and thus has returned to it’s pokeball by itself. Ness stopped the match, and after explaining what he forgot to explain earlier, Red then suggested to re-do the match, which Ness agreed to. Ness brought along the Mario Bros and Pit to watch. After a draw, a win for Red, and 2 wins for Ness, the heroes went to sleep, as the matches each took a while. The borrowed pokemon were happy to each have fought. The next day…

    “Well, this is the last day to relax.” said Pit, after meeting up with everyone, plus Lucas, who was afraid & excited.
    “Huh? So the day I came here counted?” asked Red.
    “Yeah.” Said Luigi. “I guess that it was good that two bad guys came to bring you, since we forgot. Although they went a bit far. Seriously, kidnapping innocent ladies? Maybe those girls are part of the bad guys’ plans.” wondered Luigi. Red & Ness started to think about what would be the purpose, but they couldn’t think of something.

    “It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t remember it.” said Red.
    “Well, I just found out that maybe they want Paula’s psychic power. And as mentioned before, Blue must also have something special.” explained Ness. Mario remained silent. “Mario, why aren’t you saying anything?” Pit asked Mario.
    “Because I can’t help until sometime after my showdown with Kirby at the Stadium.”replied Mario. Red wasn’t curious about this showdown. While Mario was talking, he was thinking of those horror movies he saw years ago.
    “Hey, are the bad guys truly evil?” asked Red.
    “Duh.” Said everybody else at the meeting.
    “Well, maybe they need the girls’ bodies for something. Tabuu is sort of a demon, right? So maybe, he will eat them!” exclaimed Red, showing a worried facial expression.

    “You had too much steak, dude. “ said Pit. “Tabuu isn’t the type to eat others. I should know, I-“ Before Pit could finish, Green came in with a worried face and said “WHERE are my pokeballs?”
    “My mom makes the best steak…" said ness, with a slighly homesick look on his face.
    "About your pokeballs, they must’ve been transported to under your bed sheets. Oh, and I almost forgot, I was told to give you these Pokemon, Typhlosion, Fearow, and Mantine.” replied Lucas, giving him the pokeballs.

    Before leaving, Green said “This'll do. Thanks. I’ll help when I meet you in the land of this crazy world.” Before Red could say anything, the alarm sounded.
    “ALL GOOD FIGHTERS, ALL THE BATTLE STAGES HAVE BEEN TAKEN OVER BY THE SUBSPACE ARMY! YOU CAN NO LONGER PRACTICE! REPEAT, ALL PRACTICE- AAAAGH!” yelled the Toad in charge of announcements. Kirby then came in along with other warp stars.
    “Get on these warp stars to escape before the Primids get here next!” yelled Kirby. Everyone except Pit & Ness got on a warp star.
    “I’ll fly away to escape! Good luck, guys!” said Pit before going. The warp stars then took the fighters to different parts of the land. Red and Lucas went to a beach shore, before parting ways when they got there. The Mario Bros went to the Stadium, and Luigi decided to go somewhere else.

    Ness PK Teleported to near where he knew Lucas would go to watch over him. Green flew away on Fearow. Ness knew that Paula was with Blue, and that Red would rescue them.
    Ness stopped worrying. Meanwhile, during going to the Ruined Zoo, Red was reading the map, following its directions. Then, he tripped on a big stone, and landed on his back. Two parts of the machine on Red’s back broke, and two of his pokeballs were transported in a ray of light farther into the direction he was going.
    “Just great… they must’ve been released because of the machine breaking. But at least I’ve still got…” mumbled Red, then looking at his pokeball, “Squirtle.”


    Part 6

    After finding the Ruined Zoo, Red’s assigned space of duty, Red decided to search for these ”primids”, or whatever enemy he might encounter. Meanwhile, Lucas was heading there too, after finishing his other exploring spots. Red knew that he would have a backup, as he was told by Ness the day before that he would surely get one. Red found some primids and hotroaders, and his Squirtle took them all down with ease. Seeing as this batch of enemies was over with, he decided to explore the Ruined Zoo, and was surprised at what he saw…

    [insert words] = thoughts, or telepathy
    Red = [What is Lucas doing here? Is he my backup?] Red was correct. Earlier, meta Knight told him to go to the Ruined Zoo to be Red’s backup. While Lucas was there, he looked sad. Red = [Yeah. It’s a pity that this place turned out like this.] Then, Red & Lucas heard a rumble. A gigantic stone statue appeared! The statue came closer to Lucas.

    “Hwa heaaah!” yelled Lucas. The statue then started chasing Lucas. Red decided to stay a very good distance from them, thinking that Lucas would be able to handle it, somehow. Primids popped up in the path Lucas was going, and he knocked them all away with a stick while still running away from the Pig King statue.

    Red = [He’s gotta do something! He can’t just run away forever! He’s supposed to be my backup!] Lucas then tripped, and his foot was caught in something. The statue came even closer. Red = [I’ve gotta do something!] Before Red could do anything, a familiar voice was heard.
    “PK THUNDER!” yelled the voice. The ball of lightning knocked over the statue.

    “Huh?” said Lucas. Ness appeared to help! Ness appeared more powered up, since a small light was around him as he landed from above a few feet. Ness jumped up and so did the statue.
    Ness = [I knew it! It's him.] “PK FLASH!” yelled Ness. The PK Flash reached the statue’s chest, and made it explode. Red = [Impressive! I’ll just watch now.] From the explosion, came a machine shaped like a spider with a rectangular center.

    “Long time no see, Pokey!” said Ness, eyes full of anger. “That’s Master Porky to you!” replied Porky. “You know each other?” asked Lucas. “I’ll explain everything after this is over!” Ness told Lucas. “Now, let’s destroy this spider-mech!
    Ness tel to Lucas = [Only PK Cannonballl will work much, probably. But first, bat & stick to get him to underestimate us!] Lucas tel to Ness = [Got it!] ness & Lucas went to both sides of the Spider mech, whacking with the bat & stick.

    “Hardly does anything, losers! Spankety spankety spankety!” said Porky, jumping in his machine.
    “Now, cannonball time!” yelled Ness. They repeatedly used PK Thunder to hit their backs and fronts to launch themselves toward the machine. Then Porky made the Spider Mech slash away at them with its legs from both sides. Ness & Lucas were hurt somewhat, but they kept on PK Cannonballing. Eventually, the Spider Mech was destroyed.

    Red came out of hiding and said, “That was great!” and then went over to Porky. “Hey, where’s Blue!?” Red yelled at Porky. “Ouch, not so loud! Some guy in a suit named Giovanni has her locked up somewhere!” replied Porky.
    “He’s back?! Where is he?” asked Red. “I don’t know. *Looks over to Ness* and about Paula, I don’t know.” Replied Porky. That was enough for the 3 boys. They left Porky to exit the Ruined Zoo.

    When they were nearing the exit, Wario was waiting, with a trophify gun. When the 3 boys saw him, Wario shot at Ness. Ness dodged all 4 shots. Then, Wario shot at Red, but Red dodged the same. Red sent out Squirtle to destroy the gun, but wario just farted in its face. Squirtle returned to its pokeball. Lucas was just distracted, thinking about his family, not even smelling anything. Seeing this, Wario shot at Lucas.

    “Noooooo!” yelled Ness, jumping in front of Lucas. Ness was trophified. Wario took Ness and put him in his trophy carrier, then riding away. “We must get revenge…we must find him!” Red told Lucas.
    “It’s all my fault. But I’m with ya on this one!” replied Lucas. They exited the zoo, and they go onward to the Ruins.

    (to be continued)
    Last edited by tidalespeon257; 30th June 2008 at 3:50 AM. Reason: spelling correction, paragraphing, ch. 6
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    The US, where else?
    Posts
    409

    Default

    this is awesome! The chemistry between Red ang Blue is awesome, and the other Brawlers are great allies. I cannot wait for when Red battles Giovanni.
    Long ago, when the deity Pokemon of time was born, so did time. Without it, the world would just stand still, no motion or life to make happiness. There is no substitute for the gift of time, which we must use to make good on this earth...

    100% Luckyshipper!!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Default Ch. 7 & 8

    Chapter 7 is shippy. Yeah, it's great! Also, the paragraphs shall be shown this way from now on. Here are the next two chapters:

    Part 7

    On the path to the ruins, there were many primids, armights, buckots, puppits, etc in the way. Squirtle’s waterfall and Lucas’s PK Fire was all that was necessary to take them all down. They reach a cave after defeating all the enemies. They were tired, and decided to take a break. It was daytime still, although it was kind of close to dusk. They heard a voice…

    “Hey. Hey. Can you hear me, Red & Lucas?” asked the voice. The voice was coming from a Jigglypuff’s ears. “Hey, are you-“before Red could finish his sentence, the Jigglypuff ears vibrated, voicing “Yes, it’s us, Paula & Blue. This Jigglypuff’s pokeball fell off Blue’s pocket right before Blue got trophified, and was sucked into the dark void along with her to where we are. We’re in an underground base in the middle of nowhere, by the way.” said Paula through Jigglypuff. “I’m using PK Hypnosis to control this Jigglypuff, in case you were wondering. Jigglypuff escaped because it could make itself thin or thick.” explained Paula.

    “That reminds me…where’s Pika? It didn’t go with me on the warp star.” asked Red. “Well, during our time in where we’re locked up, we heard about a captured Pikachu that was gonna be used for a generator somewhere in a facility. Maybe that’s Pika!” replied Blue. “You mean that electric mouse? It’s cute! But what I think is that when it runs out of volts, it’ll be thrown away, now that you mention the generator.” said Lucas, with a worried expression on his face.

    “Well, isn’t that just awesome!” said Red, sarcastically. “Hopefully, one of those brawlers that I’ve heard so much about will rescue Pika.” replied Blue. “Hey, where’s Ness?” asked Paula. “He… sacrificed his non-trophy being to save me. Red & I are following this yellow-suited squiggly-mustached ugly man to get revenge and save Ness.” replied Lucas.

    “He also farted in Squirtle’s face! The smell is probably gone by now, though.” added Red. “Eeeeeew! So uncouth!” yelled Blue & Paula. Then, out of Jigglypuff’s mouth came two marbles of light which formed into images of Blue & Paula. Red & Lucas were surprised by this, that psychic power could create images of a person with any substance.

    These psychic-generated beings had mass, so Blue ran to Red to give him a hug. Red couldn’t feel much mass, but he felt good being able to hug Blue again. Through telepathy that only her and Red could hear, Blue joked “You may kiss the maiden, me, when you save her from the evil demon-like creature and the man in black. *giggle*”.

    “Well, I’m glad he can’t eat you!” Red telepathed back. While they were enjoying their chat, Lucas & Paula were talking about Lucas’s PK Fire. “Well, it knocks things back, like those puppits.” said Lucas. “I see. I’ll tell Ness that when I get the chance.” replied Paula. After Red & Blue were done talking, Paula went on to explain to the boys that she could also communicate with other trophies, and that she will tell NThey ess how they’re doing. “I should’ve talked to Ness before he was trophified, though… but, I did have to recover my energy, so I guess I couldn’t anyway.” said Paula, concluding her explanation. “Well, we can’t be here much longer, so bye!” said Blue.

    The two girls, the images disappearing, and the Jigglypuff left the boys. Night then came. Lucas got some wood and used PK Fire to make a fire to keep them warm at night. Each boy took turns one hour at a time to check if there would be any night attackers. Only some primids came sometimes. They only had enough sleep to be battle-ready the next morning. Red saw constellations of Blue as the night goes on while he was the guard, and eventually he went to sleep when it was his turn to rest.


    Part 8

    It was the crack of dawn. Red & Lucas woke up a few minutes afterwards. They were ready to chase after Wario again. Red explained about what happened to his two other borrowed pokemon, and told Lucas that they are probably farther in that direction. They went near the cave that was nearby. They had no time to waste. They figured that Wario would be waiting for them, wanting them to be trophies just like Ness. Lucas lit his finger with his PSI, Red sent out Squirtle, and they proceeded.

    The two were surprised to see that the beginning of the cave was a lava pit with a path over it. The path seemed durable. They crossed it without worry, being careful of the fireballs that come from out of the lava. They came across a fire primid. “Lucas, save your power for later. Squirtle can clear all the enemies here, and if it gets tired, it’s your turn. The occasional Fire Primid blocked their way. Squirtle took most of them out before getting tired.

    It was Lucas’s turn. He took care of the rest of the enemies easily, and also the ones that were after the lava pit. They finally reached cliff. They saw Charizard flying towards a big cave that must lead to the ruins, or have them inside. When they got there, Wario appeared! “Didn’t expect me, did ya? Wa! Wa! Waa!” he said. Red sweatdropped at this. Lucas just lit up his finger with his PSI, and said, “Let’s just fight, you stinkin’ ugly fat man!”

    “Wha?! How dare you say that to ME! Prepare to become a trophy after your humiliating defeat!” Wario spat back. “Lucas, this is your battle. I’ll help when necessary.” Red assured Lucas. The mustached man and the psychic kid prepare to fight!

    Lucas used PK Freeze, but Wario easily dodged it, and counterattacked with a one-two jab. Lucas kicked Wario successfully three times, following up with a PK Fire, which barely missed. Wario tackled Lucas, and it hurt him quite some. “You can do it, Lucas!” yelled Red. With Red’s support, Lucas thought of something: an aerial battle! Lucas was good at that, so he decided to take it to the air.

    Lucas jumped high, and Wario did the same. Lucas went near his adversary and spun in the air, causing electric sparks to go around him, impacting Wario. Wario wasn’t fazed, but he was hurt by the sparks. He retaliated with spinning up into the air, thus hitting Lucas multiple times. After a couple more rounds, they were equally hurt. Lucas was surprised that Wario's aerial capabilities are actually quite good. One powerful move could finish the battle at that point.

    They went onto the poles (or pedestals), and Lucas yelled, “PK FREEZE!” and froze Wario successfully. Lucas couldn’t waste his chance. He PK Cannonballed Wario high up into the air, and thus unfreezing him and leaving him badly injured. 'I'm not done yet!" yelled Wario. He took out his bike and almost ran over Lucas. Lucas didn't know what to do. Even the stick didn't break the bike. Then, Lucas got an idea. He got on top of a pedestal and used PK Freeze on the bike, thus dismantling it. Then Lucas used PK CAnnonball to finsh the job, and upon impact, Wario was trophified. After seeing this, Red & Lucas high-five and Lucas checks the surroundings.

    “How come Ness isn’t here?” Lucas asked. “Maybe Wario has him somewhere. Now, let’s go look for the pokemon I borrowed. I’ll need them to keep at it.” replied Red. Red looks at his Squirtle, who is recovering nicely.


    They go in. They had to avoid many traps. They even had to go on a platform that moves down and has spikes waiting during the trip down. Red and Lucas didn’t get hurt much, there was hardly any bleeding.

    Finally came to a part of the ruins that had no danger involved. There, they found Ivysaur, trophified. Red was glad he didn’t have to battle it, so he returned it to its pokeball. “Either it and Charizard got into a fight or one of those Subspace Army creeps made it this way.” said Lucas. “Possibly.” replied Red. Red then looked at Ivysaur, and it was smiling that it was in safe hands again. They go onward.
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    170

    Default

    Hmm, a good fanfic, alright! The ideas are good. (although, to tell you the truth, I don't really know much about SSBB)

    Oh, yeah. And a huge "YAY" for the shippy scenes!

    Just try to avoid grammatical mistakes like those:

    Quote Originally Posted by tidalespeon257 View Post

    They go in.
    The "go" should be went.

    Quote Originally Posted by tidalespeon257 View Post

    They had to avoid many traps. They even had to go on a platform that moves down and has spikes waiting during the trip down. Red and Lucas didn’t get hurt much, there was hardly any bleeding.
    The "has" should be had. Also, you might want to add in a "so" after the comma in the last sentence, something like: Red and Lucas didn't get hurt much, so they weren't really bleeding very badly.

    Quote Originally Posted by tidalespeon257 View Post

    Finally came to a part of the ruins that had no danger involved.
    Shouldn't it be "Finally, they came to a part of the ruins that had no danger involved" ?

    Quote Originally Posted by tidalespeon257 View Post

    There, they found Ivysaur, trophified. Red was glad he didn’t have to battle it, so he returned it to its pokeball. “Either it and Charizard got into a fight or one of those Subspace Army creeps made it this way.” said Lucas. “Possibly.” replied Red. Red then looked at Ivysaur, and it was smiling that it was in safe hands again. They go onward.
    OK, several things about this:
    1) Don't forget to make a new paragraph everytime a person speaks
    2) I didn't know that a trophified Ivysaur could still smile. 0.0 Maybe it's just because I really don't know much about SSBB
    3) The "go" should be went.

    Just a few tips:

    1) Stick to one tense. If you've started off in the past tense, then keep it that way.
    2) I noticed that there are quite a few problems with the last few paragraphs. Try to detect these problems or proofread more times.

    So... Just watch out for you tenses and paragraphs and you should be fine! Good luck for your future chapters/fanfics!

    ~LuckyShipper8816

    LuckyShipper!!! I also support ContestShipping, QuestShipping, FeelingShipping, MangaQuestShipping, FranticShipping, GracefulShipping, CommonerShipping and ViridianShipping (plenty of thanks to mayouh101 from fanfiction.net for letting me know!)


    ff.net

    List of anime I watch/ manga I read: D.Gray-Man (anime/manga), Blood+ (anime), Cardcaptor Sakura (anime/manga), Pokemon (anime/manga/game), Fruits Basket (manga), Vampire Knight (manga), Digimon (anime), Gakuen Alice/Alice Academy (manga), Azumanga Daioh (anime), Tokyo Mew Mew (anime)

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LuckyShipper8816 View Post
    Hmm, a good fanfic, alright! The ideas are good. (although, to tell you the truth, I don't really know much about SSBB)

    Oh, yeah. And a huge "YAY" for the shippy scenes!

    Just try to avoid grammatical mistakes like those:



    The "go" should be went.



    The "has" should be had. Also, you might want to add in a "so" after the comma in the last sentence, something like: Red and Lucas didn't get hurt much, so they weren't really bleeding very badly.



    Shouldn't it be "Finally, they came to a part of the ruins that had no danger involved" ?



    OK, several things about this:
    1) Don't forget to make a new paragraph everytime a person speaks
    2) I didn't know that a trophified Ivysaur could still smile. 0.0 Maybe it's just because I really don't know much about SSBB
    3) The "go" should be went.

    Just a few tips:

    1) Stick to one tense. If you've started off in the past tense, then keep it that way.
    2) I noticed that there are quite a few problems with the last few paragraphs. Try to detect these problems or proofread more times.

    So... Just watch out for you tenses and paragraphs and you should be fine! Good luck for your future chapters/fanfics!

    ~LuckyShipper8816
    Thanks for pointing out my errors! About the trophified Ivysaur, it became untrophified upon capture. I've played the game, and in it, you get to use Ivysaur right away, so that's why I added the smile. Yeah, I'll revise my tenses. About the bleeding part, I just forgot to check it.
    Last edited by tidalespeon257; 1st July 2008 at 8:52 PM.
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Default Ch. 9 & 10

    Yeah, this was kinda late, because Ch. 10 was a challenge. I've checked these 2 parts, and I think I've fixed all the mistakes. Maybe I spelled Auroroses wrong, though. Here it is:

    Part 9

    Before they went 2 feet forward, Lucas stopped Red. Lucas said that maybe they should know how the other brawlers are doing. He then used PK Vision, a skill that Ness taught him at the mansion. PK Vision basically let’s you see what other people you know of are doing, with a light coming out of your eyes like a projector. Lucas chose to look at Pikachu. Pika seemed to be destroying robot sentries with a woman in a blue jumpsuit in a place with mechanical surroundings, in a place very far away from where they are now. Red was relieved that Pika was safe. Then, Lucas shifted over to Mario. He was with Pit, Link, Yoshi, and Kirby. They seemed to be chasing something. Lucas then wondered about where’s Meta Knight, and shifted his vision to where he was. He was with Marth, Ike, and… Roy?!

    “What’s Roy doing there? I heard he couldn’t get in this battle because he was in a coma! At least, that’s what Ness told me at the mansion.” said Lucas. Lucas kept on projecting. They were fighting a huge, live tank with eyes. Knowing that he should save his power, he stopped projecting.

    “Well, let’s just go forward. They probably are able to handle themselves. Those swordsmen look tough! Anyway, let’s just see if this whole area has been cleared.” replied Red. They go on to the hole in the ruins after a few minutes, as the path to it was long. Red & Lucas examined the gigantic space. After a few more minutes, they decided that it was all cleared. But then, the tank that the four swordsmen were fighting crashed into the space that Red & Lucas were exiting out of.

    Lucas gasped. They recognized the tank. It seemed that the tank still had fuel to fight! The tank went their direction. Red drew out his pokeball, and Lucas psycho-lit is finger. Another battle was about to start! Lucas used PK Fire while Charizard used Flamethrower. Galleom, the tank, retaliated by jumping on them. Lucas barely dodged, but Charizard wasn’t so lucky, as it’s heavy weight suppressed it’s speed to escape. Knowing this, Red withdrew Charizard and sent out Squirtle. It used Waterfall, and Lucas’s PK Thunder went through Galleom, and did considerable damage to it.

    Still, Galleom had much fight left. It ran over Lucas & Squirtle. Red decided to go aerial. He climbed on top of Galleom, withdrew Squirtle, and sent out Charizard where he was. Galleom started thrashing about, trying to get Red off.

    “What are you doing!? You’ll die staying there much longer!” exclaimed Lucas.

    “I know what I’m doing, trust me!” replied Red. Galleom was frantically shaking. Red sensed a smash ball as it draws nearer.

    “I’m doing his for Blue! Smash it, Charizard!” commanded Red. Charizard used Rock Smash and Scratch to smash the glowing ball. Red got off of Galleom (while flying on Charizard), got away a good distance from the tank, and sent out his three pokemon to use his Final Smash! “TRIPLE FINISH!” yelled Red. The Hydro Pump, Solarbeam, and Fire Blast impact the tank. The tank dies out.

    Right when Lucas & Red were about leave, the tank’s backup battery activated. It was brought to life again, good as new. This worried Lucas, Red especially, since his pokemon were tired out from the Triple Finish. The battery has a side effect. When activated, it lets out a subspace bomb from the head. Galleom grabs Red & Lucas, jumps way up out of the ruins, as the bomb was 20 second to explosion.With all is might, Lucas uses PK Thunder to break the grip, and as they were falling, Meta Knight grabs them and flies u of the bomb’s range, to where the 3 Fire Emblem soldiers were waiting. Red & Lucas looked at Roy.

    “Stop looking at me that way. Someone healed me. Let’s just get on with finding Tabuu and putting an end to him.” said Roy. Lucas still had a somewhat surprised look on his face. Marth sighed, wishing Roy had been healed sooner, so no one would be surprised, so they could just get on with destroying the Subspace Army.

    Ike just said, “Red, you want to get back your girlfriend as soon as possible, and I want to return to where I belong. “Well, stop gawking and let’s go!”

    Meta Knight said, “I see something above.”


    Part 10

    The three swordsmen and the two boys looked up, and saw two big ships fighting to destroy the other. Meta Knight said that the ship on the right, the Halberd, was his, and that the Subspace Army took it. Meta Knight then flew towards it. He stopped when he noticed the Ice Climbers. He stopped hesitating, and went onto the top of the mountain he was on. The Ice Climbers followed, wondering what was going on. Meta Knight saw a blue and black figure standing on top of an ice point…

    “I’ve been looking for a duel. I can sense a strong aura coming from you. Perhaps you will be a worthy opponent.” Lucario said to Meta Knight.

    “Or am I wrong?” Meta Knight didn’t reply to Lucario’s question. Lucas, the three swordsmen, and Red (on Charizard) went to where Meta Knight and Lucario were. The Ice Climbers went to the top of the mountain as well.

    “Just finish him and let’s go. We can’t waste too much time here.” said Ike.

    Meta Knight took a “bring it on” pose, and Lucario knew that meant “I’ll fight.” They started brawling. Meta Knight let out a barrage of slashes at Lucario, which all hit. Lucario kept launching aura spheres from behind, and followed up with simple punches, some of which missed. Meta Knight made great use of a mach-tornado-up-cut-combo. Lucario’s aura spheres grew bigger as he got hurt more.

    After a few more rounds, Meta Knight used Drill Rush and Lucario decided to counter with his feet after jumping. Meta Knight barely escaped the aura-protruding feet. Lucario jumed high up and Meta Knight used this chance for another Drill Rush. Lucario anticipated this. When Lucario’s feet (protruding aura) and Meta Knight’s sword met, the timing was too precise, so they both knocked each other out, and both got trophified. Roy & Marth detrophified the two.

    The Halberd crashed into a near mountain, and as Meta Knight & Lucario got onboard, as the Ice Climbers fell off a cliff, and the others watched the ship go away, out of view. They went back to rocky land. “I see that they’re going to regain control over the war ship. Well, I wish them good luck.” said Roy.

    “Hey, where do we go now?” Lucas asked the swordsmen.
    “We’ll just look for more scum and kill them, that’s what!” Ike replied.
    “Well, this area’s already clear.” added Red.

    Red spoke too soon. Hordes of Shadow Bugs were climbing up to the ground where the heroes were, and the Ice Climbers finally landed there. They were way outnumbered, but still started to fight them off.

    “It’s a-me, Mario!” yelled Mario from a cliff above. He, Pit, Link, Kirby, and Yoshi jumped down to help! They easily cleared the Primids off the area.

    “I’ll check out how those on the war ship are doing. said Lucas. He used PK Vision, and everyone was surprised to see that Lucario was with Fox, Sheik, Peach, and Falco, as something deteriorated from shadow bugs. Mario was relieved that the princesses were okay. Kirby ate a chocolate bar he had been saving. Lucas then shifted his gaze to Pika. Pika was now running somewhere with someone in a mechanical suit. Red was glad Pika was still alive.

    When Samus (the one in the suit) and Pika stopped running, those that viewed what Lucas is seeing noticed the Ancient Minister. Kirby, Mario, Link, and Pit gasped, as they had encountered him before. Then, something was banging on a part of the building. That part broke, and Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Captain Falcon, & Captain Olimar barged in. Some red light appeared behind the Ancient Minister, that was forming to look like Ganondorf. The image of Ganondorf looked at the rebellion that was there, and commanded the ROB sentries to activate all the subspace bombs in the room. To everyone’s surprise, the Ancient Minister tackled two sentries off a bomb.

    Annoyed, the king of evil said to the sentries “destroy the traitor!” With some kind of noise, the sentries all started to shoot rays at the Ancient Minister. After some rounds, the Ancient Minister seemed to be destroyed, up in flames. The sentries returned to their bomb posts. Ganondorf let out an evil laugh.

    “Man, how are they gonna get out of there?” said Pit, watching the projection with a serious face.

    “There goes some good help for stopping the Army.” said Red, with a disappointed look on his face. Donkey Kong tried puling a sentry off a bomb, Captain Falcon grabbed and threw a sentry before it could get to a bomb, Samus used a laser chain to try to pull off a sentry from a bomb, Diddy Kong couldn’t do anything either.

    Ganondorf disappeared, with flocks of Arouroses attacking the rebellion that was there. It seemed that the Ancient Minister was still alive, and it shot a few rays at some Aurouroses. The ancient minister’s suit came off, and within it was ROB, the sentry leader, looking fully ready for battle!
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Default Ch. 11

    Well, I guess I'll be posting one chapter at a time now, since this fic is getting more challenging to write. Chapter 11!

    Part 11

    [insert words] = thoughts
    Despite being ready to fight, ROB decided not too… yet. Diddy Kong told him to get the sentries to go on the rebellion along with ROB, but the sentries seemed to be too loyal to Tabuu. Right after ROB gave Diddy the news, Captain Falcon was sending for his F-Zero ship, the Blue Falcon. He signaled to the rest of the rebellion to get out. Meanwhile, those of the rebellion on the land were taking a rest. Lucas went to the nearby lake to gather
    bottles of water for everyone, and for him to recover his energy to use PK Vision to check on what those far away are doing. It was important to everyone near him. Back in where the rebellion was escaping…

    Everyone started falling down to land on the Blue Falcon, as it caught them all in time. Everyone except Captain Falcon, Captain Olimar, Donkey Kong, and Pika were inside the ship, as the path out was long, and a stronger Ridley was chasing them. Lucas and the others started seeing this, starting from when Captain Falcon was about to hit Meta Ridley with a Falcon Kick.

    “Pika’s fighting, too? It needs to stay on the aircraft.” said Red.

    Blue’s Jigglypuff came to the near rebellion.

    “What news do you have now, girls?” Red asked loud enough so that it reached Jigglypuff’s ears. The images again came out of Jigglypuff’s mouth.

    “Well, that Ridley was supposed to be dead, actually. It was resurrected in the building that we were being held in. Giovanni doesn’t know of us contacting you, thank God.” replied Blue. Blue then started explaining about her occasional visits to Red to those who wondered what she was doing there. That explanation was enough.

    “I’ll give Lucas PSI-energy so he can keep projecting. Just keep watching.” said Paula, shooting out PSI-energy at Lucas from her fingers. The fight with Meta Ridley ended in 3 minutes. Pika barely survived, even though the enemy was flying, despite no type advantages possible in that dimension.

    Out of nowhere, an aircraft appeared near Red & the others!

    “Well, it seems that there are some escapees here!” said a voice. That voice happened to be Giovanni’s, as he stepped down from the aircraft, with Blue and Paula’s trophies onboard. Everyone who saw the trophies were in shock, including Blue and Paula, as Paula stopped feeding energy and the two returned to the trophies. Lucas even stopped projecting.

    Giovanni held up a big skull made of shining, golden dirt.

    “This is the Skull of Earth, also known as SK. It controls Ground-type Pokemon from up to 3 kilometers away.” said Giovanni. He used the SK to bring out Onixes and Sandslashes that were underground. Red sent out Squirtle to fight them off. While Giovanni was distracted, Lucas went to the trophies and detrophified Paula. Before he could detrophify Blue, a Sandslash grabbed Lucas and threw him and Paula quite a distance. More ground pokemon appeared, and they were after the other parts of the rebellion nearby.

    “I can’t let you get to your other friends. Tabuu’s orders.” said Giovanni. Paula joined the fray into fending off the ground pokemon. Giovanni then takes out a teleporter and a map out of his pocket. He tosses the map to Red after the area ran out of ground pokemon.

    “I guess I'll have to retreat for now. You may go to where my hideout is if you want to save your girlfriend, since she is being kept there. “ Giovanni said to Red. He then uses the teleporter to teleport to his base.

    “Weird. He gave me a map to his hideout.” said Red.
    “This has TRAP written all over it!” said Paula.
    “How about you, Paula, Lucas, Meta Knight, Roy, and Kirby go to the hideout? The rest of us will search for the others.” said Pit. He turns to those whom he suggested. “If that’s all right with you guys.” They said okay. Lucas said to Paula that they have no choice whether it’s a trap or not. Paula was impressed at how Lucas was turning less fearful.

    “All right. The base is in the Abandoned Desert. That desert is 1 kilometer from here. We set out tomorrow. We need rest after those hordes of ground-types!” said Red.

    “Okay, so long!” said Pit, going to search for the others who were walking away.

    Red = [Blue… I can’t wait to find you and return home after destroying the demonic creature. I know a perfect place to be together…]

    And so, there were three split parts of the rebellion. Red’s team will search for Blue. Mario and the others on land were to search for the remainder of the rebellion. The remainder went to search for the subspace base. Perhaps all these heroes will meet at the base? Fate will decide.
    Last edited by tidalespeon257; 6th July 2008 at 6:00 PM.
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    The US, where else?
    Posts
    409

    Default

    This is FANTASTIC! I love the bits with the Skull of Earth, and Giovanni being revealed at last. I can't wait to see Red and pals in their battle in the Abandoned Desert.
    Long ago, when the deity Pokemon of time was born, so did time. Without it, the world would just stand still, no motion or life to make happiness. There is no substitute for the gift of time, which we must use to make good on this earth...

    100% Luckyshipper!!!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Default chapter 12

    Here's a particularly long chapter out of those that I've written. Ch. 12!

    Red’s squad finally reaches the beginning of the abandoned desert. From reading the map, Red finds that he & his squad must find an underground path to where Giovanni’s based is. Meta Knight suggests that they split into 3 groups to find the underground path, and gets Red’s consent to choose who goes with who. Red goes with Roy, Paula goes with Lucas, & Meta Knight himself goes with Kirby. Meta Knight explained that this way, they can make location markers to make sure nobody gets lost. Meta Knight then asks Roy to prepare his fire sword and that Kirby swallows some fire from it. Roy then sends fire towards Kirby and Kirby then swallows the fire, turning into Fire Kirby, but when releasing the star, he can swallow it again to turn into Burning Kirby. Meta Knight said that intense fire turns sand into glass, so then Kirby can make a small glass pillar, as a marker. Meta Knight says that just in case Roy’s fire sword cannot make the glass fast enough, Red’s Charizard can add to the fire by using Flamethrower. Also, that Lucas & Paula can combine their PK Fire to make some glass, although it might not be much. They planned to meet up where the desert begins at the end of each day. They now split up and go in their designated paths…

    [insert words] = thoughts
    Red & Roy’s path:

    They find a lot of Fire Primids, Hotroaders, Buckots, Puppits, and Armights in the way. They form a circle around Red & Roy.

    “They’ve got us surrounded! I’ll take care of them.” said Roy.
    “Huh?” Red said, surprised. He didn’t think that Roy could handle such a big circle of subspace creatures, a circle that had backups behind it. The circle starts to close.

    Roy = [I predicted this.] The circle gets tight. Roy knows that it was the time to fight back.
    “Circle of Flames!” yelled Roy. He dashes around the edges and with fire protruding from his sword, destroys the enemies, leaving some small flames behind in 3 spots. The flames subsided, and in those spots, came some glass shaped like the flames.
    Red = [That’s some amazing power! But, the glass...]

    “Why is the glass shaped like that?” asked Red.

    “I don’t know. This is the first time I’ve seen glass made this way, although I planned it to be normally shaped. I expected small stones.” replied Roy. After piling up the stones, they went forward. They’ve traveled 200 feet. Along with Charizard’s Flamethrower, Roy made a pillar of fire that stood out a bit. Squirtle’s Water Gun cooled the pillar somewhat.

    Since the Water Gun was a bit strong, the pillar fell and landed on a rock under the sand, making a noise. While Charizard was putting the big pillar back in place, Roy picked up the rock. It had an inscription. Roy decided to read it.

    Continents being created,
    All by the great red beast,
    The beast’s head serrated,
    Just, the very top.


    “What does this mean?” asked Roy.
    “I don’t know.” replied Red. Then, very far away, Red & Roy could barely see it, a big stone pillar began to rise…


    Meta Knight and Kirby’s Path:

    After traveling a good distance, Kirby gets hungry.

    “You got any apples?” asks Kirby. Meta Knight gives him 2 apples to satisfy his hunger for a good amount of time.

    “Good thing that we’re not in Dreamland. You get hungry far too often when we’re back in our home dimension. And that this dimension somehow translates your words so those outside of Dreamland can understand what you’re saying. *sigh*” said Meta Knight.

    After a three-minute break, they kept on going. They faced the same species of enemies that Red & Roy faced, but not in a circle. They easily took care of them.

    They notice a big stone pillar very far away, barely visible.
    “What is th-“Kirby began.
    “Don’t bother thinking about it. We’ll check up on that once we find a clue. It might have something to do with it. “said Meta Knight.

    After traveling for another 5 minutes, they came across a stone. It too, had an inscription. Kirby picked it up. He read:

    The intense pit of flames,
    Once it paused,
    Since the great red beast went in,
    To sharpen his claws.


    After reading it, the two Dreamland warriors started to get deep in thought about the inscription. Their thinking was disturbed by the shining light of a barely-visible stone pillar they saw earlier.

    Paula & Lucas’s Path:

    “I’ve been thinking… have you made any contact with Ness? Did he tell you where he is?” asked Lucas.

    “Yes, and he says he’s in a castle. He says the owner seems to be nice, since he put a badge on him, and he was with Luigi, Princess Peach, putting badges on their trophified selves. Peach is no longer there, though.” explained Paula.

    “How did he get Ness and the others?” asked Lucas.

    “He stole all those trophies, Ness and Peach and Zelda from Wario. If you ask me, that’s an upgrade. The guy owning the castle looks like a big penguin in king’s clothing, according to Ness. That reminded me of the Prince of Dalaam. He got Luigi by knocking him out.” explained Paula.

    ‘That’s not ni- whooah!” Lucas tripped on a big stone. Paula got Lucas back up and read the inscription.

    After the great battle,
    The great red beast had to slumber,
    Since he was in need of rest,
    Place this stone on the great beast’s chest.


    Paula = [Great beast?]
    Lucas = ****ipping was supposed to be my taunt, done on purpose!]

    Then, the two psychics saw a far away barely-visible stone pillar change form into a gigantic beast. Paula PK Teleported herself and Lucas to check it out. They were surprised to see the others there staring at the statue.

    “There are empty holes on some parts of this statue. I wonder what this means. And what does this rock have to do with a great beast?” said Red. Everyone except Roy looked at Red’s stone. They held up their stones.

    “Maybe we should put these rocks in some places on this statue. Maybe this is the great red Beast!” said Lucas. Everyone except Paula & Lucas wondered how he knew. Lucas explained that his stone mentioned placing it on the great beast’s chest. Everyone then looked for the spots to put their rocks on the statue, and it took 2 minutes to find out that the stones said where to put them all along.

    Red & Roy’s stone went on the serrated part of the head, Kirby and Meta Knight’s stone went on the left leg, where the left claw is, and Lucas & Paula put their stone on the statue’s chest.

    Giovanni watched the whole thing.
    *end of chapter*

    I think that there may be questions about this fic. I'm just guessing that there will be.
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Default chapter 13

    here's chapter 13!

    Part 13

    The six heroes saw that nothing happened after they put the stones on the statue. Giovanni knew that it was his turn to show up. When he saw that the heroes were distracted, he came out of where he was hiding (in an underground burrowing machine with a scope), still in the machine. They sensed another presence, and put their guard up. They noticed that Giovanni was in a machine, looking at them from its cockpit holding up the SK. Giovanni pressed a button in the machine that allowed the heroes to hear him. He said that while the stones were needed to put on the machine, the SK is what activates the stones. The evil former Team-rocket boss activates the stones with the SK…

    Groudon lets out a deep roar, looking menacing to the 6 heroes.

    “It’s under my control now!” said Giovanni, triumphantly.
    “Hey, wait a minute, why aren’t your goons with you?” asked Red.”I don’t need them! Now, I’m working for the subspace army! We shall start the fight when you find my underground base!” replied Giovanni.

    The man used his teleporter to teleport himself and Groudon to where he planned to hide. After that, Red took out his map. He read that they must go three miles northwest of where they are now. He then noticed small print on a corner of the map, and read it:
    “the more ground pokemon you encounter, the closer you are”. Suddenly, a Sandshrew appeared, and dashes toward Lucas to scratch. Lucas dodges swiftly, and PK Freezes the sand creature.

    “There is no X on this map, but there is a line in which shows where the base is located, but not exactly where. I just noticed that!” said Red.

    Kirby says, “We must split up again when we get there then. *whips out phone* Yo, guys! I need you to check something out, okay? ……Yellow Kirby’s not there? Blue’s on vacation? Leave them where they are, then. *hangs up phone*”. A red Kirby & a green one showed up, in Freeze and Spike forms.

    “Go ahead of us, and find some clues on where an underground base is, okay?” said Kirby to his clones.
    “Sure, whatever.” said the red one.
    “Wheeeee!” said the green one.

    The six heroes follow 100 feet behind the other-colored Kirbys, with Lucas using PK Vision while walking to check on their progress. The green Kirby trips and lands on something that doesn’t feel like sand (they were walking on it). The green Kirby checks on what he fell on, and it was a switch.

    The red Kirby whips out his phone and calls original Kirby to tell him that switches are probably what open the base. The six heroes try to catch up to the colored Kirbys. The connection is lost when the other-colored Kirbys get Binded by two Onixes.

    “Help! We’re being strangled!” yells the Green Kirby. The heroes catch up just in time. Lucas tries to PK Freeze the Onixes, but it doesn’t even faze them. Roy figured that maybe the SK is giving the Onixes power. Two more Onixes appear.

    We’re kinda close, then!” exclaimed Paula, as she and the others try to fight the enemies off. Roy and Meta Knight finished one Onix after a long series of slashes, leaving them exhausted. Lucas & Paula had to combine their PK Freezes a few times to finish one off, leaving them short on psychic power. The two Onixes that were defeated first were the ones that were Binding the other Kirbys. The Kirbys get mad at the Onixes, but one launches a surprise attack on them while they unleash their fury on the last one visible.

    The Onix used a tail Slam on both angry Kirbys, ridding them of their inhaled power, and then followed up with a rock throw. The Kirbys still had their reflexes, and inhaled the rocks. Everyone but original Kirby and Meta Knight were surprised when the other-colored Kirbys (no longer angry) had eaten the rocks, but even more surprised when they transformed.

    “These are now Rock Kirby, which boosts the rock power they had when they came into this dimension. “ said Meta Knight. The Rock Kirbys combined their Rock Falls on the Onix’s head, and the Onix falls unconscious. But there was still one left, and that one was also downed by the Rock Kirbys’s Rock Fall.

    “I’ll use some of what’s left of my PSI-power to contact Blue.” said Paula. Paula took 20 seconds to get through to Blue Blue’s voice was hearable to those around Paula, since Paula was concentrating extra power.

    “Is that you guys?” said Blue.

    “Yes. Do you know where the switches to the base are?” asked Red.

    “They’re all somewhere around 120 feet from the base. I heard Giovanni say so. So find the base first, and then travel the distance.” replied Blue.

    Paula let go of the connection, saying that she has run out of power. The 8 heroes have then set their sights on finding the base first.
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Default chapter 14

    Here it is

    Part 14

    It took 30 minutes to find all the switches, and a while after they found the base with all the locks unlocked. This was thanks to the appearances of the ground pokemon. The other-colored Kirbys had done their job, and headed back to their relaxation spot in Dreamland. The heroes head into the base surprised that they didn’t find any primids, puppits, or anything that came from Tabuu’s shadow bugs in their path. They’ve encountered foes when they were halfway to where Giovanni was: Lairons & Nidorinos. The psychics couldn’t use their PSI since they ran out of the energy, but they used their weapons instead. It didn’t take long to down the foes. They found a big room, shaped like a coliseum after getting past the pokemon…

    [insert words here] = thoughts
    “This reminds me of those Gladiator Knights in very old days.” said Meta Knight. Kirby lets go of his Rock Kirby form.
    “I believe that this is a battle room for Giovanni’s minions. I think I’ll-“ Roy started, as he began to make fire protrude from his sword and place it halfway into the ground.

    “What are you doing!?” said Meta Knight.
    Suddenly, another voice rang out, saying “It seems that Roy has gotten smarter!” Giovanni appears, with SK in hand. Groudon appears, without the command of the SK.

    “I was making sure that we wouldn’t get any surprise attacks thanks to the SK. It should be named SE, if you ask me.” said Roy.
    “I see.” Replied Meta Knight. Kirby, Paula and Lucas smiled. Red just remained silent. He knew that after defeating Groudon, he will be reunited with Blue. Then, he too smiled, ready to face the monstrous Pokemon.

    Lucas decided to be brave and start the attack, with the others following. Lucas started by whacking Groudon’s tail with his stick. It didn’t do much, as Groudon simply whacked Lucas back with the tail. Red sent out Squirtle, and ordered a Waterfall. Red was surprised that it did semi-significant damage, remembering what Ness said about there being no type advantages or weaknesses.

    “You’re wondering why that did any damage, I presume. The SK was found in the Kanto region, so here, it has a type disadvantage in exchange for its power. Yet it can only give so much.” explained Giovanni.

    Roy and Meta Knight started slashing at Groudon wildly from the sides. Paula took out her Holy Frying Pan and jumped onto Groudon’s back, whacking the head with it. Groudon got irritated (as well as the head starting to hurt), and used Earthquake, knocking back Red, Meta Knight, Roy, Lucas, Squirtle, and Kirby a few feet. Red switches Squirtle out, and sends out Ivysaur. Groudon then shook Paula off its back.

    The fighters get back on their feet and try again.
    “Ivysaur, Jump Pollen Burst!” commanded Red. Ivysaur jumps *almost* above Groudon, and upon landing sends a burst of pollen onto Groudon’s face and eyes. Being blinded, Groudon roars in pain, breathing a Fire Blast wildly. Kirby inhales some of the flame, turning into Super-Fire Kirby.
    Red = [I’m sorry Groudon… I’ll somehow set you free! Hey, wait a minute…]
    Red starts hoping that a Smash Ball would appear quick. He then motions to Kirby to come.

    “What is it?” asked Kirby.
    “How do Smash Balls appear?” replied Red.
    “Sheer willpower, luck, or desperation.” said Kirby.
    “Thank you. Get the others to will a Smash Ball to appear while they fight. I think it could set Groudon free.” said Red.

    Kirby sent the message to the others while they were fighting, and Giovanni couldn’t hear Kirby because of the fighting noises. They all tried to raise their willpower to make a Smash Ball appear, and the more they got hit, the more willpower they put into it. Giovanni whipped out his teleporter.

    “Let’s take this fight elsewhere. Oh, and you know why Tabuu needs me to keep Blue captive? She will be a sacrifice to Tabuu!” said Giovanni. Upon hearing this, Red never got more infuriated. Charizard came out, and the flame on its tail grew bigger due to Red’s anger. Red withdrew Squirtle and climbs on Charizard’s back, with his will a lot stronger. The others sensed Red’s strong will. Giovanni takes no more time hesitating, and presses the button.

    They get taken to a battlefield that looks like a whole new world. It was blue, and it shifts the scenery at least slightly every second.

    “This… is Final Destination. It is the battlefield in which that true enemies will fight to the finish., or just so fellow warriors can better hone their skills. It morphs, too.” explained Giovanni. Then, the battle field got a lot bigger to accommodate the number of living beings on it. This was to be the last battle against Giovanni, and the battle that could set Groudon’s fate.
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    170

    Default

    *sniff* So... sweet... *sniff* SHIPPY!!! *faints*

    OK, I don't really see anything wrong at all, except the occasional tenses mix-up, so I think there's no point in pointing it out.

    I like your storyline, though. You've adapted it from SSBB and added your own twists, right? Well, that's good. You've inspired me to do one similar. It'll be LuckyShipping too. (Don't expect anything else from me. I'm a very crazed LuckyShipper, in case you didn't know) Writers who inspire me are my best friends.

    Back to the story. It would help if you could explain Red's feelings better. (Since, from what I can tell, he is the main character) Infuriated, yes. But how much? I have a rough idea since you said that because of that, Charizard's flame was bigger, but a clearer picture would be better. (How does Charizard do that anyway? I would love to know.)

    I can't really provide an example now since I'm not thinking very well. I suppose you could call it "vocab block". Or you could call it "too lazy to check out a thesaurus and help a friend" xD Maybe you could make him say something? Even saying that he growled would work well. I dunno, it's really all up to you.

    Other than that, your fanfic is really good! Keep up the good work! Good luck and adios! *waves*

    ~LuckyShipper8816

    LuckyShipper!!! I also support ContestShipping, QuestShipping, FeelingShipping, MangaQuestShipping, FranticShipping, GracefulShipping, CommonerShipping and ViridianShipping (plenty of thanks to mayouh101 from fanfiction.net for letting me know!)


    ff.net

    List of anime I watch/ manga I read: D.Gray-Man (anime/manga), Blood+ (anime), Cardcaptor Sakura (anime/manga), Pokemon (anime/manga/game), Fruits Basket (manga), Vampire Knight (manga), Digimon (anime), Gakuen Alice/Alice Academy (manga), Azumanga Daioh (anime), Tokyo Mew Mew (anime)

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Default Ch15

    I only planned to take two days vacation, but after that I couldn't think of anything new. Well,I finally have yesterday or the day before.
    Hmm, I thought I fixed all my tenses. I guess I'll do the best I can I'll also be more descriptive in characters' emotions. Thanks for pointing it out, Luckyshipper8816.

    Anyway, ch15:

    Part 15

    [insert words here] = thoughts
    Groudon roared, and the heroes that were there used their fighting stance (not their taunts). Before anything else happened, Giovanni asked if they would like to see how the other heroes are doing. The heroes, still with their guard up, accepted. Giovanni used the SK to return Groudon to stone, and pointed it towards the light from the scenery. It turned out that the SK can do more than control Ground-types. Giovanni said that the SK also had a connection to Final Destination. The light morphed into an image. In it, it showed the Halberd heading towards a big ship. Giovanni said that it is the Subspace Army Ship, also known as SAS. The heroes noticed Bowser and Ganondorf the high deck. Red wasn’t surprised to see them there. The SAS started shooting at the Halberd, and it took a few shots to bring it down and destroy it. This left Giovanni to smirk and the heroes disheartened. Then out of the explosion came out flying crafts, to the everyone's surprise. Two that were noticed were the Falcon Flyer and the Arwing, among others. They dodged the SAS’s shots, and out of nowhere from a different direction, came Blue Kirby on the Dragoon. The Dragoon ripped through the big cannon of the SAS, and that made Bowser and Ganondorf retreat back into the Subspace.

    “I'm glad I saw this. How do you like them apples!” said Red.

    “It’s too soon to celebrate. With all of you gone, I can finally offer Blue as a sacrifice to Tabuu for me to reach my goal. The Evolver should be a tasty absorbable snack!” replied Giovanni, smirking. Red went back to being super-angry. No one wants a loved one to be hurt, especially if they’re to be offered as a snack.
    "A snack!? Why, you! I'm gonna pay you back by double after I'm done!" yelled Red. Charizard returned back to its pokeball upon transportation, and its pokeball got warm.

    Giovanni laughed evilly, without destonifying Groudon.
    “For the love of Arceus, let’s go already!” yelled Red. The others were eager to fight as well. Giovanni un-stonifies Groudon. Groudon roars, signaling that it’s ready. Red sends out Ivysaur, and the others rush in while Giovanni gets back on his place outside the battle field.

    The warriors remembered about the Smash Ball, and they remembered to will it to appear. They decided to do some combinations. Meta Knight disappeared and reappeared behind Groudon’s tail, and slashed at it. While Groudon slapped Meta Knight away with the tail, Red threw Ivysaur up into the air to land a Pollen Burst on Groudon’s back. It didn’t do as much damage as before, and then Red figured that that’s its strong defensive point.

    Kirby used his fire breath to distract Groudon so then Roy can do a sneak attack from above. Roy knew that was his que, so he jumped high above and slammed Groudon’s back with the sword. Groudon got annoyed that its back was slammed twice, so it used Eruption. It left both of Red’s sleeves burnt off since he was lucky not to get hit by the big flames. Kirby repelled the flames with his own, Paula used PK Shield, Roy let his sword absorb the heat, Lucas (who was back to missing his family again) was lucky that the flames didn’t reach him. Meta Knight used Mach Tornado to protect himself.

    Groudon felt (from the energy of the SK) that it was time to stop going easy. It charged to head butt the heroes, as they were still protecting themselves from the flames. Groudon successfully head butted each one. Red was badly hurt. He decided to command Ivysaur from a distance, remembering the command buttons on his clothing. He was surprised that they weren’t burnt. He switched out Ivysaur for Squirtle. He planned to use his decoy strategy again. Groudon used earthquake right when Squirtle came out. Everyone else fighting lost their balance. Squirtle had its shell to the floor, unable to stand up. Red lost a lot of energy from the vibrations on the ground reaching the buttons on his backhand.

    “Must…keep...fighting...so then…I can…save… B-” said Red, weakly. He couldn’t reach Squirtle, and ran out of energy. His pokeballs somehow went off his belt, and Red was trophified.

    Blue saw Red trophified, and she started to cry, as she felt sad enough to get her trophified being to show a few tears. The other heroes were shocked. Then angry. They started whaling on Groudon, and Groudon just countered with Eruption, sending them away a good distance, and they decided to fight from a distance.

    Red = [Blue… I’m sorry I failed to save you.]
    Blue =[*trying to hold back sadness* It’s all right. There must be a way to get out of this mess. *to herself* If willpower can bring a Smash ball, then…]
    Blue cared too much about Red and the Smash Bros dimension, and got really angry. Red wondered why. Blue gets detrophified out of anger, and after she could move, she kicked Giovanni’s leg, and ran off to find Red’s trophified form.

    “Groudon, get that girl!” yelled Giovanni, holding his kicked leg, jumping on one foot. Groudon stopped focusing on the swordsmen, psychics, and morphing warrior, and charged straight for Blue. Before Blue could reach Red, Groudon used Earthquake to cause Blue to lose her balance, as well as the others. Blue was trapped on an edge on the battle field a good distance away from Red, and was helpless. Just before Groudon was about to send her to oblivion, Roy successfully willed a Smash Ball to appear and took its energy from one slash of his sword.

    Roy emanated the Smash Ball’s energy, and he planted his sword into the ground (halfway) of Final Destination.

    “That’s impossible! The ground of Final destination is supposed to be impenetrable!” exclaimed Giovanni.

    Roy’s sword sent an energy pulse through the ground to the others. Kirby let go of Super-Fire, and absorbed Flame-Sword. Meta Knight’s sword grew twice as big. Paula and Lucas got all of their psychic energy back. Roy’s sword moved Groudon into the center of Final Destination through sending magnetic heat there. Roy then threw his sword at Groudon, imprisoning him within a large prism of flames, starting to fully lock the prism.

    Blue took her chance to detrophify Red, and did. They hugged each other tight. Red picked up his pokeballs, and let Blue use a pokemon. Blue decided to use Squirtle. After picking up the pokeball which contained Squirtle, Green appeared near Red & Blue.
    “How’d you get here?” asked Blue.
    “I’ve got a teleporter, and someone told me to visit some place called Final Destination. *looks around* what’s Groudon doing here?!” replied Green.
    “Giovanni used the Skull of Earth to control it.” explained Red. Green nodded.
    ”You three! Send out the pokemon and get them to combine flames, water and leaves to speed up the locking of the prism. Groudon will be okay.”said Roy *looks at the other fighters* “You guys, use your strongest attacks at this prism. I’ll use the energy for a good cause. Meta Knight, come here!”

    “I must not let this happen!” said Giovanni. He then squeezes the SK to bring more power into Groudon. The prism started to weaken.

    “Hurry!” yelled Roy. The others stopped hesitating and let the prism have it. Red, Blue and Green didn’t know why the pokemons’ attacks were necessary, but they did as Roy said.
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Default ch15 not done yet

    Sorry, I didn't notice that my entire ch15 was over the character limit. But before that, I'm going to add a PM list. I should've put it there before, I know now.

    Well, the rest of ch15!

    Unforunately, the plan didn’t go well. Groudon broke out of the prism, and looked steaming mad. It went on to pounce on everyone except Giovanni. It couldn’t be stopped even with the extra power from Roy’s Smash Ball energy. Groudon incinerated Paula’s Holy Frying Pan. Paula had a sad look in her eyes, and then a steaming mad one. She used a PK Fire she wasn’t supposed to use there: one stronger than Omega. Instead of using both hands, she pointed at Groudon with her left index, middle, and ring fingers, and streams of fire came one centimeter away from each finger.

    Groudon used Fire Blast, and it matched evenly against Paula’s psychic fire. Everyone else stared in awe for 7 seconds, until Groudon intensified the Fire Blast to beat Paula’s fire and knock her back. She almost fell off the edge. All the fighters felt hopeless. They would all be finished before they could will another Smash Ball to appear.

    All hope was lost. Red & Blue knew that at least they would go bye-bye together. Or so they thought…
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Smile ch16

    This won't be one of the long chapters you might've gotten used to. I also think I'm back to daytime writing Anyway, ch16!

    Part 16
    Giovanni decided that as a villain, he should savor the moment. It would seem that Red, Blue, Green, Roy, Kirby, Lucas, and Paula’s days would be over. They all had their eyes closed. Red and Blue opened their eyes 4 seconds after, as Groudon slowly was walking to them, with arms forward, claws in a menacing position. They had gotten a bit of hope back as they saw a star falling in the distance. The others noticed this. They opened their eyes as well. They knew that even if they fought back, they would not have much of a chance to beat the power-enhanced Groudon. A presence was felt in the distance…

    Something was falling from the sky, emanating a familiar energy. Two things. One of those things had a red cap on, and the other was a yellow creature. Everyone recognized the one with the red cap.

    “NESS!?” exclaimed the heroes.
    “The one & only! And Red, Pika’s back, too!”
    “Destroy them NOW, Groudon!” ordered Giovanni. Groudon uses Fire Blast at the incoming heroes, but then Pika uses a move Red’s never seen before. Pika spins in place for 1 second, and spins so intensely that he unleashes so much electricity, and is enveloped in a huge ball of it. Pika rams into Groudon.

    The heroes take a closer look at Ness, and realize that he’s radiating Smash Ball energy.
    “PeeKaaaay…STARSTORRRM!” yelled Ness. Red remembers this Final Smash from his first battle with Ness. Only this time, all the stars are directed at Groudon, and they hit at the same time as Pika rams. Groudon was unable to evade, and is downed in 5 hits each from the stars and Pika. The great red beast regained its senses, and was released out of Final Destination by roaring at the sky.

    The good guys rejoice, and Giovanni teleports away to somewhere else. After that, Red & Blue stare at each other lovingly, since they had time to. Ness and Paula speak to each other telepathically. Lucas was sharpening his stick. The others were discussing how to reach the other parts of the rebellion. After this is all done, Meta Knight announces that Tabuu is east of the research facility. He found this out by contacting Blue Kirby using Kirby’s phone. Ness took out his teleporter, and gave it to Red.

    “You’ll need it.” said Ness. Kirby used his own teleporter to teleport himself, Meta Knight, and Roy out of Final Destination. Ness, Paula and Lucas used PK Teleport to get out. Red and Blue got reminded of the time that Blue confessed her feelings to Red, the time when Ness and Paula were watching them. Hesitating no more, they all met up at The Wilds. They decided to fly over to where Tabuu’s Subspace home is. Kirby got the exact location from Blue Kirby, who happened to be standing right out side the Subspace.

    Blue Kirby sent for some warp stars for the faraway part of the rebellion. The stars got there in 10 minutes. Meanwhile…

    “Please, Lord Tabuu, give me another chance to capture the girls and prepare them for offering! just give me more power.” said Giovanni to Tabuu.
    “If you cannot defeat some mere weaklings with some of my power at Final Destination, then you are worthless to me. Before, all that the Skull of Earth could do was get you to control ground-type pokemon. A bit of my power was what made Groudon so powerful.” Replied Tabuu.

    “You witnessed that?!” said Giovanni.
    “I see all in Final Destination. One failure there, especially by that bothersome psychic boy, is humiliating...now, no more talking. Begone!” said Tabuu, as he releases energy from his wings, trophifying Giovanni.

    “What a shame that my son Giygas has failed in creating his own world. It also seems that this boy Red has almost fully adapted the ability to create power for Pokemon through anger, hence his name.” Tabuu said to himself. “What do you think on this, Palkia?”

    “Perhaps these kids are to be taken seriously, Father. What the boy named Green has is not shown, if he even has any. And Roy has been affected somehow, too. He has grown a lot smarter. Perhaps Azelf, Uxie, and Mesprit are also meddling from their home dimension. Arceus must have something do with this.” replied.

    “That makes sense. I am proud to be your father. You will soon be reunited with your brother, so long as you follow me.” told Tabuu.
    “Thank you so much, Father.” replied Palkia.
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    accepting reality
    Posts
    267

    Default

    Pika gets the smash ball, uses Volt Tackle and flies all over the stage. Pika presses the A Button near Groudon. The damage is doubled and at least a quarter of Groudon's health is gone.
    Friend Code:0602-8032-7727

    Proud Supporter Of: Luckyshipping, Mangaquest shipping, Franticshipping, and Commonershipping

    Ships that I'm just getting into:Pearlshipping, Specialshipping

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    accepting reality
    Posts
    267

    Default

    Pika gets the smash ball, uses Volt Tackle and flies all over the stage. Pika presses the A Button near Groudon. The damage is doubled and at least a quarter of Groudon's health is gone.
    Friend Code:0602-8032-7727

    Proud Supporter Of: Luckyshipping, Mangaquest shipping, Franticshipping, and Commonershipping

    Ships that I'm just getting into:Pearlshipping, Specialshipping

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Default ch17...

    not much of a chapter, but I'll do better on ch18. You'll probably find this one somewhat boring...

    Part 17

    Back in the Pokemon dimension, Arceus and Dialga were at Temporal Tower. Arceus was getting the details on how time was saved since ‘The Time Incident’. Dialga suggested that they bring along Team Superstar, an exploration team of a Empoleon, a Infernape, and a Torterra. This exploration team was the team that saved time from stopping. Arceus agreed to bring along team Superstar, and sent a letter to the Wigglytuff Guild to send them on a mission to the Smash Bros dimension. Everyone at the guild got shocked learning that the letter was from Arceus. After Team Superstar read the letter, they got shocked further learning that another dimension was in peril…

    Team Superstar was walking to the entrance to the beach cave.
    “Six reviver seeds check. Box of berries, check. Box of water, check.” said Torterra in a low voice, as he was checking that they had every item ready.

    “You should’ve checked back at the guild. We only have seven minutes before being late.” said Piplup.

    “It would’ve taken the same amount of time, anyway.” Replied Torterra. Empoleon knew Torterra had a point. They finally reach Beach Cave. Infernape didn’t say anything while they were walking around in the cave, but was smiling and deep in thought. Infernape was lucky that he didn’t bump into anything.

    Back at the entrance to Subspace, the heroes found it strange that they didn’t find any of the others that were on their side. They instead found eight bunches of every Subspace foe that existed after traveling pretty deep inside.

    Blue sent out Jigglypuff to help take them out. For some reason, Jigglypuff was the only pokemon that Blue had that didn’t get transported back to her home. After every bunch was annihilated, they found four trophies of their comrades.

    They found Lucario, Zelda, Yoshi, and Luigi. They detrophified the four of them. After some introductions, they went on. It seemed endless.

    “How did you end up trophified?” Red asked the four formerly trophified.

    “Well, while you guys were trying to save Blue, we were heading here. Many of Tabuu’s big commanders, such as Porky, were in the way, so we had to get them all taken out. Although we didn’t find Porky.” explained Luigi.

    “Me and Lucas took him out to the scrapyard.” said Ness, smiling a bit.

    Yoshi said, “That’s good. Allow me to tell you the story. Not my story, it became old two years ago. Anyway:
    Tabuu used to be an ally of Palutena’s. Tabuu looked quite different back then, too. He could’ve been Palutena’s brother, but isn’t. Tabuu got taken over by some mysterious evil energy, causing him to be evil. He had Medusa kidnap Palutena to take over Angel Land. When that was found out, he was banished from Angel Land for good. For some reason, when he was seen again, he looked like a total demon. Only he knows how that happened. He had also developed the ability to create Subspace, a world all dull. He is using the ROB Sentries currently to cover this entire planet in Subspace. He’ll rename it with the most obvious name. So far, he’s covered 5% of this planet in Subspace.”

    Lucario then added, “He also plans to take over other planets of other dimensions as well. This planet’s core gives the ability to teleport to other dimensions, and from somehow extracting a bit of its energy, have the Voids been born. We can’t let Tabuu get to the Core!”

    Red, Blue and Green stood there speechless. They could not believe how everything is where they were. Then, a Light Void appeared, and from it, came Dialga.

    “Are you with Tabuu?” asked Green.
    “No. I am on your side.” Replied Dialga. Red, Blue, and Green took out their pokedexes to identify the pokemon.

    “Pokemon unidentifiable” said the pokedexes in chorus. Lucario then said that he is also a pokemon, and that ‘those devices’ couldn’t identify him either.

    Dialga explains that Tabuu has brainwashed his brother, Palkia, into thinking that Tabuu is his father, and that 3 young but powerful pokemon are on their way to where they are now. Another Light Void appears. An Empoleon, infernape, and Torterra holding a big bag with its mouth.

    “You shouldn’t have packed so heavy.” Said Dialga. Torterra just said ‘eh’.

    “These pokemon stopped time from stopping before some of you were born. They shall be of great help.” Said Dialga. Zelda remained silent, because she didn’t feel like speaking. Nobody said anything about it, since they could tell a while before.

    They go forward, to find more enemies that may be holding the others prisoner.
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    The US, where else?
    Posts
    409

    Default

    Bump-bump.

    I love the way things are coming, especially now that Team Superstar and Dialga are involved. The battle with Tabuu approaches.
    Long ago, when the deity Pokemon of time was born, so did time. Without it, the world would just stand still, no motion or life to make happiness. There is no substitute for the gift of time, which we must use to make good on this earth...

    100% Luckyshipper!!!

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    accepting reality
    Posts
    267

    Default

    I'm getting interested about the whole Team Superstar thingy...
    Friend Code:0602-8032-7727

    Proud Supporter Of: Luckyshipping, Mangaquest shipping, Franticshipping, and Commonershipping

    Ships that I'm just getting into:Pearlshipping, Specialshipping

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    accepting reality
    Posts
    267

    Default

    I'm getting interested about the whole Team Superstar thingy...
    Friend Code:0602-8032-7727

    Proud Supporter Of: Luckyshipping, Mangaquest shipping, Franticshipping, and Commonershipping

    Ships that I'm just getting into:Pearlshipping, Specialshipping

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    62

    Default

    I'm sorry that I haven't brought a chapter as usual as i do. Its just that some things happened, so I couldn't write for long time. But starting today, I can write a little each day for ch19, since I'm rather short on creativity. I'm sure I can add each day. I'll include more about Team S.

        Spoiler:- maybe:
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
    Cousin of LilChu at DeviantArt http://lilchu.deviantart.com/
    My brawl code:
    1504-5759-8588
    Masterpiece stage: SB Battlefield:T

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •