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Thread: Advanceshipping General Discussion: Where Ash and May ADVANCE together ;D

  1. #5126
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    Default WAIT a Minute!! I have a Fanfiction!!

    Hey Zelda just got me thinking, why don't i advertise my Fanfiction here as well, i did it once before and I'm currently getting to a good part of my story.
    (and of course it is advanced shipping)

    now a problem i have that i now recognize as a writer is that i am doing the same thing Dragonball has..... taking a long time to get to the point. I know i need to remedy that and i am trying. So please give me a shot at your entertainment and enjoy XD

    https://www.fanfiction.net/story/sto...4163&chapter=1




    Oh Please, I'm Fabulous!!

    Click to read the Struggle for Inner Peace on Fanfiction.com

    Also, my newest Fic Diamonds in the Rough is started, go check it out

    And i started another one called Cheers to Anime.





  2. #5127
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    @zelda, lol, actually finished writing that bad boy the other day. I'm running it through my betas.

  3. #5128

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    Quote Originally Posted by the shiny gengar View Post
    @zelda, lol, actually finished writing that bad boy the other day. I'm running it through my betas.
    yay more life as a king. Thank you jeasus grandma.
    Hey everybody, it's zeldafan128!

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  4. #5129
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    Quote Originally Posted by T-birdGT500 View Post
    Hey Zelda just got me thinking, why don't i advertise my Fanfiction here as well, i did it once before and I'm currently getting to a good part of my story.
    (and of course it is advanced shipping)

    now a problem i have that i now recognize as a writer is that i am doing the same thing Dragonball has..... taking a long time to get to the point. I know i need to remedy that and i am trying. So please give me a shot at your entertainment and enjoy XD

    https://www.fanfiction.net/story/sto...4163&chapter=1
    If you're having a problem getting to the point, only add the necessary information into the story's scene, so you don't bore your readers and get into the story itself faster. Just a suggestion though. =p

    I'll finish reading your story later today and then I'll give some more suggestions, that was just based on what you told us in your post.
    Currently semi-active until Early-Mid January 2013 due to being busy as a Programmer and all. If you would like to speak to me before that time, send me a PM VM or email. Until then... "Smell ya later !" ~Gary Oak

  5. #5130

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    My fanfic so far. Please post feedback.

    He finally arrived at school. He had jet black hair, deep brown eyes, and a faint scar under each eye. He had on a pair of dark blue jeans, a light blue t-shirt and a white jacket. He was about 14 years and 6 months old. His name was Ash Ketchum. He was getting out of his car for another day at school.
    "Bye Ash. Love you!" his mother yelled.
    "Bye Mom. Love you too." he replied. Before him was the large school campus. He went to a private school, one that covered preschool through 12th grade. The campus was laid out in an almost-straight line across half a mile. He looked around at the colorful leaves, and breathed in the crisp air. He had just begun about a month ago in September, and he was in the 9th grade, the biggest grade the school has ever had with about 45 students. The average was about 20. School started at 8:00 AM and ended at 5:30 PM, however Ash always arrived at about 7:15 AM, before almost anyone else. Ash walked to the science and math building, which also had the lockers in it. He went up a flight of stairs to his locker and put his backpack down. He started to unpack it and was happy he could get rid of all the unnecessary weight. Depending on the amount of homework he got, his backpack could weight anywhere from 6 to 30 pounds. Today it was about 25. As today was Monday, he got out his English and History binders along with his English book as those were his first 2 classes, both located in the same building, which was named Coburn after the name of the man who founded the school over 80 years ago.
    Ash checked his watch, and found that it was 7:30 AM. He looked out the window, and saw that more cars were coming. In the distance, he saw his friend Gary, who was also 14, getting out of his car. He decided to walk over and start talking to him. They got into a long conversation about MineCraft, which ended in Ash ranting about Internet speeds and how people were being stupid overseas.
    Ash and Gary went back into the science and math building and saw that Dawn was sitting in there, talking to her friends. Ash and Dawn had become good friends very early on, although the same wasn't true for Gary. While he did secretly have a crush on her, he didn't talk to her very much.
    Soon after, at about 7:45 AM, May walked in, wearing her red blouse and black shorts. Ash and May didn't talk to each other very much, although Ash did have a crush on her. He had already confessed to her a week ago, only to be rejected.
    May walked upstairs to put her stuff away and get ready for her next classes. She came downstairs just as her friend/enemy Drew came in. May had told Ash that she and Drew were exs, having dated in 8th grade. The 2 instantly started bickering and teasing each other about the craziest things.
    About 10 minutes went by, and it was time to walk to classes. Ash had English first with a teacher named Ms. Read, a class he shared with Dawn and May. He was one of the first to class, only beat by May and a few of her friends. Everyone soon came in, and class began. 50 minutes, a rant about sheep, a few suggestive jokes and an insult to New Jersey later, class was over and it was time to go on to History, where everyone learned about the Egyptian pharaohs from the ancient history teacher, Dr. Stunt. Ironically, he is also the teacher of ancient history (Yes, there is a difference). Ash had this class at the same time as May, Dawn and Drew. It lasted another 50 minutes, like all the classes did. May and Drew would usually fight throughout the entire class.
    Afterwards, Ash walked to the library for a study hall that lasted 30 minutes. It was almost impossible to get anything done as Drew was talking and goofing around with his friends non-stop. Having found he had gotten almost nothing done, Ash packed up and walked to the science and math building for physics. Physics was Ash's craziest class, as many of the kids made joked and took the class off-topic in the craziest ways. The teacher, Mr. Gallagher, was only 23 and didn't do the best job of controlling the class. Between that, confusing lessons and the fact many of the kids were often tired, almost everyone was failing. May and Dawn were in this class with Ash.
    Next on Ash's schedule was music, an extremely small class held in the music building. Only he and one other student were enrolled in it, much different from the classes of 15 he had earlier. Many of the other kids played and instrument or sang. The teacher, Mr. Brooks, tried to keep things light, and half the class could be spent talking about football.
    Finally, at 12:05 PM, Ash would head over to Coburn and have lunch in the dining room. The food was made fresh every day, although Ash was one of the only few people that liked it. At lunch, Ash would sit and talk with Dawn and Gary. They would talk about anything from MineCraft to anime to shipping to Pokemon to how stupid stuff at school was. Gary and some of Ash's other friends usually at least kind of understood it all; Dawn was usually pretty lost in it all. Ash actually thought the food was really good, beating normal school lunches by a long shot. However, most of the other kids that have been going to the school longer were getting sick of it. Lunch lasted for about 45 minutes, each one ending with a "Random Fact of the Day". Today, it was that "both men and women are equally likely to be locked out of their hotel room; however 33% of them are less than fully dressed." Everyone gave a quick laugh then piled out of the dining room.
    After lunch, everyone went into the chapel for an assembly, where random topics were discussed for another 40 minutes. The topic was community service projects. The assembly was boring and dragged by at a snail's pace.
    Finally, after the assembly period, Ash headed off the Art Center on the far side of the campus, opposite the science and math building. About 10 people were in Ash's art class, among them Drew. Another 45 minutes countless suggestive jokes, few rants and a few squirts of a spray bottle at someone later, art was finished.
    Fortunately for Ash, the last class on the schedule was a free period for him. During his frees, Ash would usually make a trip down to the vending machine to restock his food supply of cookies and gummy bears, then head over to the library to try, and usually fail, at getting some work done. Considering the fact he didn't have math today, Ash had relatively little homework. All he really had to do was a few physics homework problems that no one really took seriously, and read The Raven for English class. Ash was able to read the story fairly quickly, and finished in only ten minutes. As the physics homework wasn't posted on the school's dedicated homework website yet, Ash decided to relax for the next 25 minutes. Opening the Firefox web browser on his laptop, he looked up Pokemon battling strategies and watched some videos of other people battling. He found an article on Shuckle that stated it could become the most powerful Pokemon after using a few special moves. "Wow," Ash said to himself, "I never knew that."
    After not too long, study hall was over, and Ash walked back to the science and math building to get his textbooks and binders. He put his Physics binder and laptop into his bag and was happy to find it only weighed about 8 pounds. "Thank Arceus," Ash muttered to himself.
    The time was 3:45 pm (15:45 for whoever goes by a 24-hour clock), so school was over, at least as far as classes go, anyways. Everyone was required to take a sport after school on campus. Dawn danced, May and Drew played soccer, and Ash chose to take an outdoor-ed class. There were about 8 students involved in the activity, among them was Gary. The teacher of outdoor-ed was the Dean of Upper School, Mr. Hastings. Like many other people, Ash liked Mr. Hastings and thought that he was an awesome teacher, although he is a bit crazy and unprofessional at times. Today the group was doing trail maintenance in the woods right next to the school, also known as run around the woods with sidearms and chop down trees and clear paths. The students had brought two tomahawks, a machete, a hacksaw, and Ash brought his pocketknife and holster. It was perfectly fine to bring weapons to school just as long as they were stored in Mr. Hastings private armor- I mean office.
    "Hey Gary," Ash said. "Want to help me clear this path?"
    "Yeah sure--this path looks like it hasn't been cleared in years", Gary replied.
    The two worked at raking aside leaves that had fallen in a recent storm. Soon, the group came to a fallen tree.
    "Ok guys, get the hell out of the way! This thing's coming down!" one of the kids with a tomahawk yelled. Everyone obeyed, and the tree was cut up within five minutes. Everyone moved on, and the pack soon came across a patch of pickers bushes. Not wasting any time, the crew went to work at them with the tomahawks and machete. Ash got out his pocketknife and started cutting off the vegetation near the ropes course.
    After they were done, it was 5:30 pm (17:30) and getting dark. They decided to head back to campus, where Ash got into his car and his mom drove him home.


    Well, that's it for right now. What did you guys think? I tried to make Drew's character resemble the way he is portrayed in ContestShipping fics (only read a few, and that was out of pure boredom and curiosity). It is about 1.7k words; more will be written. So I hope you enjoyed it, and I will get more up ASAP.
    Last edited by zeldafan128; 20th November 2012 at 2:25 AM.
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  6. #5131
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    .... so....many..... Classes! I'm used to having just 4 but man, how in the hell does so little homework come out of that. as for my criticism, I like your reference to Shuckle and the Pokemon Battling. your putting more effort into connecting your story into the Pokemon world than i thought. You gave us a heck of a lot of detail about ash's life, which i think is good, but i think in later chapters it would pay off to focus more on Dawn and Gary's relation ship as a sub shipping romance. i am really interested to see how those two turn out.

    So all in all: great job, keep posting as much as you can so that you keep people interested.




    Oh Please, I'm Fabulous!!

    Click to read the Struggle for Inner Peace on Fanfiction.com

    Also, my newest Fic Diamonds in the Rough is started, go check it out

    And i started another one called Cheers to Anime.





  7. #5132

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    Quote Originally Posted by T-birdGT500 View Post
    .... so....many..... Classes! I'm used to having just 4 but man, how in the hell does so little homework come out of that. as for my criticism, I like your reference to Shuckle and the Pokemon Battling. your putting more effort into connecting your story into the Pokemon world than i thought. You gave us a heck of a lot of detail about ash's life, which i think is good, but i think in later chapters it would pay off to focus more on Dawn and Gary's relation ship as a sub shipping romance. i am really interested to see how those two turn out.

    So all in all: great job, keep posting as much as you can so that you keep people interested.
    Thank you for the feedback. The reason for the homework is that the only classes Ash would have gotten homework in were English, History and Physics. The physics wasn't posted yet, no homework in history, and reading for English. As for the GaryxDawn shipping, I don't know where I'm gonna go with this. This story is heavily inspired by my real life, there actually are real life counterparts to all the characters, and the person I used as inspiration for Gary actually has a crush on the person I used for inspiration for Dawn. So while I may very well work independently from that, the story will be a mirror of the reality for the time being.
    Actually, they say that the Mario games were based on the creator's childhood. The games aren't more serious because they wouldn't be played if they were, especially in the US. The thing I like about fanfiction is you can actually do things like they are.

    Also, in the less than 24 hours it has been up on FanFiction.net, it has received 3 reviews, all of them positive, 75 views, and placed on 3 people's alert lists. I'd say that's pretty good.
    Last edited by zeldafan128; 21st November 2012 at 12:03 AM.
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  8. #5133
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  9. #5134
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    Quote Originally Posted by tomboyTrainer305 View Post
    Today's Advanceshipping Day so congrats to those 10 yrs.XP
    Hmm...a few years ago it was much more active around this time. I wonder where everyone's gone.

  10. #5135

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    Quote Originally Posted by swampert55 View Post
    Hmm...a few years ago it was much more active around this time. I wonder where everyone's gone.
    Well, I was gone reading TheShinyGengar's Civil War on ADVancers. Like everything Gengar writes, this is amazing. Depending on how it ends, I wouldn't mind seeing a movie based on it. Oh, and if I can make a suggestion, I think that it would be pretty cool if the tensions escalate to the point where The Union is being issued M4s and M1911s for a mission against the main resistance group, who is armed with AK-47s Gary got off the black market. The Union's informat, who I personally think is Ace, informs The Union of the resistance's base. The Union attacks, some of the OCs die (I kinda like Orange Juice; maybe I'm the only one), and Ash and May get into a close-quarters-combat fight. Ash easily bests May, who is wearing a mask, and takes out his M1911 pistol to shoot May with. Ash taunts May by asking if she has "Any last words". May uses that opportunity to beg Ash not to shoot her. Ash, recognizing her voice, hesitates, lifts her mask, sees that it is her and helps her up. May begins to explain her view of the TRA, and convinces Ash to join her side and defect from The Union. Whether or not The Union is bested right then and there would be up to you.
    Hey everybody, it's zeldafan128!

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  11. #5136
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    @zeldafan128 you said that you would use your own life as inspiration for your fanfic. i get a feeling that like 90% of it was based on your life.

    after reading yours, i was thinking about making a fanfic of my own. i want it to be long and post it in sections, kinda like how Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol and sent sections weekly to a newspaper. the main problem is if i can commit to it; my life is pretty hectic right now

    A New World Order: Birth of a Prophecy

    Credit to Brutaka

  12. #5137

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    Quote Originally Posted by flamebeam View Post
    @zeldafan128 you said that you would use your own life as inspiration for your fanfic. i get a feeling that like 90% of it was based on your life.

    after reading yours, i was thinking about making a fanfic of my own. i want it to be long and post it in sections, kinda like how Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol and sent sections weekly to a newspaper. the main problem is if i can commit to it; my life is pretty hectic right now
    Was that supposed to be an insult or no?
    Also, very happy I could inspire someone to write their own fanfic, especially this early.
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  13. #5138
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    Quote Originally Posted by zeldafan128 View Post
    Was that supposed to be an insult or no?
    Also, very happy I could inspire someone to write their own fanfic, especially this early.
    not an insult, just a statement. and i doubt mine would be much good. but you're writing one, shiny gengar has written many, maybe i should try

    A New World Order: Birth of a Prophecy

    Credit to Brutaka

  14. #5139

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    Quote Originally Posted by flamebeam View Post
    not an insult, just a statement. and i doubt mine would be much good. but you're writing one, shiny gengar has written many, maybe i should try
    Definitly give it a shot. It should be interesting to read. Just make sure to use good spelling and grammar (just use Microsoft Word) and you should be fine. Bad spelling and grammar kill 40% of fanfics. 1% are both original and well written, and the rest are unoriginal or combine both flaws. I am looking forward to reading your fanfic.
    Hey everybody, it's zeldafan128!

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  15. #5140
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    Quote Originally Posted by zeldafan128 View Post
    Definitly give it a shot. It should be interesting to read. Just make sure to use good spelling and grammar (just use Microsoft Word) and you should be fine. Bad spelling and grammar kill 40% of fanfics. 1% are both original and well written, and the rest are unoriginal or combine both flaws. I am looking forward to reading your fanfic.
    Agree. You'll get nowhere if your story is filled with both bad spelling and grammer and an unorginal plot.

    Anyway I drew something for Advanceshipping day, a bit late, I know.

    http://silvermoon602.deviantart.com/...26673#/d5lnzva

  16. #5141
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    I double-checked the grammar, which I'm pretty good at. As for originality, I wouldn't be so sure, but my plot came from me, unless I stole it subconsciously. Anyways, the plot is heavily based on the anime. I wouldn't call it a traditional advanced shipping fanfic, because it's more in-depth than advanced shipping. i hope it came out as decent, cuz i can really draw this story out. it's been in my head since my childhood, but i revised it as my writing improved, and then revised it so can work as a fanfic. i just hope it comes out decently. but here it is.

    It has been a long journey for Ash and company as they have traveled throughout the vast and varying lands of Sinnoh. Ash, having already won three badges, could not be more positive about his experience in this beautiful region. The same could not be said for Dawn, whose performances in her last two contests have resulted in her failure to advance past the appeals round. Oh how she longs to win a ribbon to accompany her lone Floaroma ribbon collecting dust in her very unfilled case. Normally, this repetition of severe losing would potentially drag someone near the brink of clinical depression, but Dawn had the best distraction a girl could hope for: a boyfriend.
    As the trio were headed to their next destination, Dawn continued, "So like I was saying, the poster at the Pokemon Center was about this big contest right next to Lake Valor! I think it's called the Wallace Cup. So I was wondering if I should compete in it"
    Ash reponded, "Wow! This sounds like a huge deal. I can't wait to see it!"
    Brock, more aware of Dawn's tone, responds, "What do you mean you're wondering? You should compete in as many contests as you can if you wanna be a top coordinator."
    Dawn's pleasant expression shifted to a frown, "Of course I wanna be a top coordinator. It's just this is a really big contest. And with my luck lately-"
    "There's nothing wrong with your luck," stated Ash. "You're still learning how to be a coordinator, but I've never seen someone improve so fast at something they love so much like you have. And I know you're gonna do great at this contest. No way the judges could resist your charm."
    Dawn blushes at this. "Thanks, Ash. You always know how to make me feel special." And she finishes with an embrace.
    "That's 'cause you ARE special." And with that he gives her a tender kiss.
    "Alright, guys," said Brock. "Let's keep moving; the next Pokemon Center is a few minutes away."

    Later that night, at the Pokemon Center, Brock is preparing Pokemon food for tomorrow while Ash hangs out with Dawn as she prepares to make a call. The night is still and peaceful. However, the moon radiates tonight with a strange, sickly yellow.
    Ash begins, "So tomorrow we'll be at Lake Valor by noon. You nervous?"
    Dawn replies, "A little. That's why I wanna see who else is competing, so I'm gonna make some calls."
    "Really? Alright then. I'm gonna take a walk outside."
    "Wait," Dawn replied. "There's something I wanna ask you."
    "Sure," Ash responds curiously, "what is it?"
    "Well, I was wondering, since this contest is very big - I mean, people from other regions are gonna be competing - if you wanna maybe participate?"
    Ash was stunned, "Uhh, if that's what you want, then of course I'll compete. The contest doesn't start until the day after tomorrow, so I have enough time to train. And it's gonna be fun, too."
    "Thank you," Dawn cried. "I hope I'm not asking for too much."
    "No need to worry," he responded. "That's something you taught me."
    Dawn was moved. "I l... like your support. She came close to using the "other L-word", but felt it was too soon for it. After all, their relationship began shortly after the Tag Tournament from Hearthome City. Ash gave her a hug and a kiss, and went on ahead with his walk. Dawn proceeded to make her first call. After it connected, she stated, "Hi, Kenny!"
    "Oh, hey Dawn," Kenny replied. "Unexpected hearing from you right now. What's up?"
    "Not too much, Kenny," she responded with excitement, "except for this really big contest by Lake Valor! Are you gonna compete?"
    "Sorry, Dawn," he said guiltily. "I'm still regrouping from my loss at Solaceon Town. I have some more training to do before my next competition."
    "Oh, I see," she replied sadly. "It's fine. I'm competing, and so is Ash, and I'm gonna call Zoey to see if she is, too."
    Kenny's expression gets serious after the mentioning of Ash, but quickly reverts to normal, "Good luck, Deedee."
    "Don't call me that!" she yelled, but then said gently, "See you around." The call is dismissed, and Dawn proceeds to call Zoey.
    On the other side, Kenny thinks for a long time about Dawn and Ash. He says affectionately, "I wish nothing but the best for you." Suddenly, he receives a call from his PokeGear...

    Ash continues his stroll through the forest, admiring the unique scenery offered by a calm evening, while trying to avoid the strange yellow emanating from the moon. It's almost as yellow as Ash's Pikachu, who is napping back at the Pokemon Center. Suddenly, the still air picks up to a gusty wind. Ash doesn't notice at first, but then the winds pick up so that they slow down his pace. Ash decides to return to the Pokemon Center, but the winds out of nowhere change direction and speed up, carrying Ash off his feet and throwing him deeper into the forest. Whoa, he thought, that doesn't happen too much. As he begins to stand, he is caught by surprise at what he sees. It is a lake he had never noticed, but what catches his eyes is a mysterious figure cloaked in a dark, disguising robe. It looks human, but its face is hidden, until it begins to approach Ash, when a hint of its face is shown by the yellow in the sky.
    Amazed and stunned by this figure, Ash asks carefully, "Who are you?"
    The figure, possessing a man's voice, responds, "Who or what I am is of no concern. The matter to be discussed is the course your destiny is taking you, and the troublesome conflict that shall follow."
    Ash is completely thrown aback by his words, mostly because it was hard to follow. He asks, "What are you talking about? What's gonna happen?"
    The figure continued, "From this point forth, the events of your life shall unfold into a pandemonium in that you shall be left with no choice but to find the noble truth. Therefore, I must asketh thou to proceed with the utmost caution and concern for you loved ones, for all in your life shall be affected, and some shall even suffer."
    Puzzled by this prophecy, Ash asks, "How do you know all this? Who are you?"
    "These events have unfolded time and time again for Eons and Eons. Beware! chosen one, for you have been forewarned." And with that, the figure fades away. Suddenly, as Ash tries to call out to him, he falls back and his eyes begin to shut.

    When he opens his eyes, he wakes up to the sound of a strange buzzing. As his senses come to, he recognizes the sound as a hair straightener. The sound stops, and Dawn enters the room to see Ash woken up. She approaches him, "Hey, sleepyhead. I had fun last night." Ash is thrown off by this statement. Dawn, catching his expression, goes into detail, "I gotta admit I was caught off guard by the way you threw yourself at me, but it was so romantic. I love the way you make me feel so special."
    "Oh," Ash played it cooly, "anything for you, sweetie." She gave him a big, loving kiss.

    So the trio resumed their journey, on their way to Lake Valor. Brock looked up facts about Lake Valor and shared them with the others. Dawn, holding Ash's hand, talked nonstop about the contest, and asked Ash various questions such as how excited is he or what Pokemon does he plan on using, which he responded with "very" and "Buizel."
    Brock, noticing Ash's distracted demeanor, nudged Dawn, who asked, "Is everything alright, Ash? You've been quiet all day." This last part is filled with concern.
    It was clear Ash had the mysterious man on his mind. He didn't know how to explain what happened last night. However, he realizes the worry on Dawn's, his girlfriend's, face, and drops the subject in his mind entirely. "I guess I'm nervous about this contest, too," he said calmly.
    Dawn giggles, "Oh, Ash. Like you said, no need to worry." She holds his hand tighter. Ash smiles. Despite the troublesome future foretold by the figure, he knows it can never be too bad with Dawn at his side. They continue to walk like this, life at its peak of happiness, until around noon, when they arrived at Lake Valor.
    "Hey," said Brock, "who's that over there?"
    The answer soon becomes obvious. Brock is happy about this. Dawn has never met this person. Ash stares into a horror that he has avoided discussing since its dreaded conclusion. The darkest pains and the brightest joys he has experienced lie in front of him. His life now was content -- no! it was perfect, or at least the greatest façade of perfection, and it was filled with so much love and togetherness. But that was now over, for his lowest point in his life - as well as his greatest moment of happiness - returned in a cluster of beauty and character of courage and heart, all in the form of his former companion May.

    A New World Order: Birth of a Prophecy

    Credit to Brutaka

  17. #5142

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    Quote Originally Posted by flamebeam View Post
    I double-checked the grammar, which I'm pretty good at. As for originality, I wouldn't be so sure, but my plot came from me, unless I stole it subconsciously. Anyways, the plot is heavily based on the anime. I wouldn't call it a traditional advanced shipping fanfic, because it's more in-depth than advanced shipping. i hope it came out as decent, cuz i can really draw this story out. it's been in my head since my childhood, but i revised it as my writing improved, and then revised it so can work as a fanfic. i just hope it comes out decently. but here it is.

    It has been a long journey for Ash and company as they have traveled throughout the vast and varying lands of Sinnoh. Ash, having already won three badges, could not be more positive about his experience in this beautiful region. The same could not be said for Dawn, whose performances in her last two contests have resulted in her failure to advance past the appeals round. Oh how she longs to win a ribbon to accompany her lone Floaroma ribbon collecting dust in her very unfilled case. Normally, this repetition of severe losing would potentially drag someone near the brink of clinical depression, but Dawn had the best distraction a girl could hope for: a boyfriend.
    As the trio were headed to their next destination, Dawn continued, "So like I was saying, the poster at the Pokemon Center was about this big contest right next to Lake Valor! I think it's called the Wallace Cup. So I was wondering if I should compete in it"
    Ash reponded, "Wow! This sounds like a huge deal. I can't wait to see it!"
    Brock, more aware of Dawn's tone, responds, "What do you mean you're wondering? You should compete in as many contests as you can if you wanna be a top coordinator."
    Dawn's pleasant expression shifted to a frown, "Of course I wanna be a top coordinator. It's just this is a really big contest. And with my luck lately-"
    "There's nothing wrong with your luck," stated Ash. "You're still learning how to be a coordinator, but I've never seen someone improve so fast at something they love so much like you have. And I know you're gonna do great at this contest. No way the judges could resist your charm."
    Dawn blushes at this. "Thanks, Ash. You always know how to make me feel special." And she finishes with an embrace.
    "That's 'cause you ARE special." And with that he gives her a tender kiss.
    "Alright, guys," said Brock. "Let's keep moving; the next Pokemon Center is a few minutes away."

    Later that night, at the Pokemon Center, Brock is preparing Pokemon food for tomorrow while Ash hangs out with Dawn as she prepares to make a call. The night is still and peaceful. However, the moon radiates tonight with a strange, sickly yellow.
    Ash begins, "So tomorrow we'll be at Lake Valor by noon. You nervous?"
    Dawn replies, "A little. That's why I wanna see who else is competing, so I'm gonna make some calls."
    "Really? Alright then. I'm gonna take a walk outside."
    "Wait," Dawn replied. "There's something I wanna ask you."
    "Sure," Ash responds curiously, "what is it?"
    "Well, I was wondering, since this contest is very big - I mean, people from other regions are gonna be competing - if you wanna maybe participate?"
    Ash was stunned, "Uhh, if that's what you want, then of course I'll compete. The contest doesn't start until the day after tomorrow, so I have enough time to train. And it's gonna be fun, too."
    "Thank you," Dawn cried. "I hope I'm not asking for too much."
    "No need to worry," he responded. "That's something you taught me."
    Dawn was moved. "I l... like your support. She came close to using the "other L-word", but felt it was too soon for it. After all, their relationship began shortly after the Tag Tournament from Hearthome City. Ash gave her a hug and a kiss, and went on ahead with his walk. Dawn proceeded to make her first call. After it connected, she stated, "Hi, Kenny!"
    "Oh, hey Dawn," Kenny replied. "Unexpected hearing from you right now. What's up?"
    "Not too much, Kenny," she responded with excitement, "except for this really big contest by Lake Valor! Are you gonna compete?"
    "Sorry, Dawn," he said guiltily. "I'm still regrouping from my loss at Solaceon Town. I have some more training to do before my next competition."
    "Oh, I see," she replied sadly. "It's fine. I'm competing, and so is Ash, and I'm gonna call Zoey to see if she is, too."
    Kenny's expression gets serious after the mentioning of Ash, but quickly reverts to normal, "Good luck, Deedee."
    "Don't call me that!" she yelled, but then said gently, "See you around." The call is dismissed, and Dawn proceeds to call Zoey.
    On the other side, Kenny thinks for a long time about Dawn and Ash. He says affectionately, "I wish nothing but the best for you." Suddenly, he receives a call from his PokeGear...

    Ash continues his stroll through the forest, admiring the unique scenery offered by a calm evening, while trying to avoid the strange yellow emanating from the moon. It's almost as yellow as Ash's Pikachu, who is napping back at the Pokemon Center. Suddenly, the still air picks up to a gusty wind. Ash doesn't notice at first, but then the winds pick up so that they slow down his pace. Ash decides to return to the Pokemon Center, but the winds out of nowhere change direction and speed up, carrying Ash off his feet and throwing him deeper into the forest. Whoa, he thought, that doesn't happen too much. As he begins to stand, he is caught by surprise at what he sees. It is a lake he had never noticed, but what catches his eyes is a mysterious figure cloaked in a dark, disguising robe. It looks human, but its face is hidden, until it begins to approach Ash, when a hint of its face is shown by the yellow in the sky.
    Amazed and stunned by this figure, Ash asks carefully, "Who are you?"
    The figure, possessing a man's voice, responds, "Who or what I am is of no concern. The matter to be discussed is the course your destiny is taking you, and the troublesome conflict that shall follow."
    Ash is completely thrown aback by his words, mostly because it was hard to follow. He asks, "What are you talking about? What's gonna happen?"
    The figure continued, "From this point forth, the events of your life shall unfold into a pandemonium in that you shall be left with no choice but to find the noble truth. Therefore, I must asketh thou to proceed with the utmost caution and concern for you loved ones, for all in your life shall be affected, and some shall even suffer."
    Puzzled by this prophecy, Ash asks, "How do you know all this? Who are you?"
    "These events have unfolded time and time again for Eons and Eons. Beware! chosen one, for you have been forewarned." And with that, the figure fades away. Suddenly, as Ash tries to call out to him, he falls back and his eyes begin to shut.

    When he opens his eyes, he wakes up to the sound of a strange buzzing. As his senses come to, he recognizes the sound as a hair straightener. The sound stops, and Dawn enters the room to see Ash woken up. She approaches him, "Hey, sleepyhead. I had fun last night." Ash is thrown off by this statement. Dawn, catching his expression, goes into detail, "I gotta admit I was caught off guard by the way you threw yourself at me, but it was so romantic. I love the way you make me feel so special."
    "Oh," Ash played it cooly, "anything for you, sweetie." She gave him a big, loving kiss.

    So the trio resumed their journey, on their way to Lake Valor. Brock looked up facts about Lake Valor and shared them with the others. Dawn, holding Ash's hand, talked nonstop about the contest, and asked Ash various questions such as how excited is he or what Pokemon does he plan on using, which he responded with "very" and "Buizel."
    Brock, noticing Ash's distracted demeanor, nudged Dawn, who asked, "Is everything alright, Ash? You've been quiet all day." This last part is filled with concern.
    It was clear Ash had the mysterious man on his mind. He didn't know how to explain what happened last night. However, he realizes the worry on Dawn's, his girlfriend's, face, and drops the subject in his mind entirely. "I guess I'm nervous about this contest, too," he said calmly.
    Dawn giggles, "Oh, Ash. Like you said, no need to worry." She holds his hand tighter. Ash smiles. Despite the troublesome future foretold by the figure, he knows it can never be too bad with Dawn at his side. They continue to walk like this, life at its peak of happiness, until around noon, when they arrived at Lake Valor.
    "Hey," said Brock, "who's that over there?"
    The answer soon becomes obvious. Brock is happy about this. Dawn has never met this person. Ash stares into a horror that he has avoided discussing since its dreaded conclusion. The darkest pains and the brightest joys he has experienced lie in front of him. His life now was content -- no! it was perfect, or at least the greatest façade of perfection, and it was filled with so much love and togetherness. But that was now over, for his lowest point in his life - as well as his greatest moment of happiness - returned in a cluster of beauty and character of courage and heart, all in the form of his former companion May.
    Not bad, not bad at all. I didn't notice any grammar mistakes, my only correction is that in Sinnoh, trainers get Poketchs, and Pokegears are issued to trainers in Johto. However, it is impossible to make a call from a Poketch.
    Hey everybody, it's zeldafan128!

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    Quote Originally Posted by zeldafan128 View Post
    Not bad, not bad at all. I didn't notice any grammar mistakes, my only correction is that in Sinnoh, trainers get Poketchs, and Pokegears are issued to trainers in Johto. However, it is impossible to make a call from a Poketch.
    thanks for the feedback. about the pokegear, i knew it's from johto, but i wanted the caller to be, i guess you call him/her, "international". i plan on adding to Kenny's character that fans of the anime are usdd to, just because he lacks what i think is likability. but that's if I continue the fanfic. i would like to, but im not sure if it's good enough, if people will read it, and also where to write, because something tells me that writing it here is against the rules

    A New World Order: Birth of a Prophecy

    Credit to Brutaka

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    Quote Originally Posted by flamebeam View Post
    thanks for the feedback. about the pokegear, i knew it's from johto, but i wanted the caller to be, i guess you call him/her, "international". i plan on adding to Kenny's character that fans of the anime are usdd to, just because he lacks what i think is likability. but that's if I continue the fanfic. i would like to, but im not sure if it's good enough, if people will read it, and also where to write, because something tells me that writing it here is against the rules
    Unless it says posting fanfics here is against the rules, it shouldn't be. And if it is, try Fanfiction.net or something.
    Hey everybody, it's zeldafan128!

    MultiShipper and proud.

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  20. #5145
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    "oh... Ma Gawd Jewel's you are such an Awesome Artist. 2 Thumbs up!"


    Oh i just wanted to mention i still got my Fanfic i have been working on. I hope that you all check it out XD!

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8494163/1/Soul-Searching




    Oh Please, I'm Fabulous!!

    Click to read the Struggle for Inner Peace on Fanfiction.com

    Also, my newest Fic Diamonds in the Rough is started, go check it out

    And i started another one called Cheers to Anime.





  21. #5146

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    *sighs* I need a title for my fanfic. I don't think PLACEHOLDER is gonna cut it. Any suggestions?
    Hey everybody, it's zeldafan128!

    MultiShipper and proud.

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  22. #5147
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    after searching through fanfics in the fanfics forum and the shippers fanfics subforum, i've decided to write my fanfic in the latter. i may or may not post a copy in the regular fanfics forum, depending on various factors. and if i turns out to be good, then maybe I'll post it in fanfiction.net. as of now, though, I'm a little confident that it could become something good. i'll also be posting links here every time a new chapter is made. sorry if all i keel talking about is my fanfic. i guess i can make up a question???

    Who would be the best man and maid of honor in Ash's and May's wedding?

    EDIT: My official thread for my fanfiction.
    Last edited by flamebeam; 24th November 2012 at 5:36 AM. Reason: new link

    A New World Order: Birth of a Prophecy

    Credit to Brutaka

  23. #5148
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    Default My answer to FlameBeam

    Who would be the best man and maid of honor in Ash's and May's wedding?

    hhhmmmmmm, i would have to say two choices depending on who would get to pick between May and Ash if they decide to break tradition.

    Ash's Best Man: Brock, definitely Brock. Although he might cause problems if he's flirting with every girl their.

    May's Best Man: Drew, although he might cause a similar problem except with people's attention on him.

    May's Maid of Honor:mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm >:O dang it, i can't think of anybody outside her family. So as the default i choose Dawn, i hope somebody else more knowledgeable about may comes along and thinks up something better

    Ash's Maid of Honor: Misty, because i think she's the only other girl outside of Ash's family who might not cause some tension with may over Ash romantically because of her older appearance (because i found out apparently on the Japanese sub Misty was ten when she debuted, i think might've made her older appearance based more on an average American girls height since the whole tomboy character i believe they got from an American stereotype). I have to admit while they do fight, they are close friends.




    Oh Please, I'm Fabulous!!

    Click to read the Struggle for Inner Peace on Fanfiction.com

    Also, my newest Fic Diamonds in the Rough is started, go check it out

    And i started another one called Cheers to Anime.





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    Started up a new fic called The Bad Habit. It's an idea that's been stuck in my head for quite some time now. If you haven't already, check it out here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8730137/1/The-Bad-Habit

    Who would be the best man and maid of honor in Ash's and May's wedding?

    It kinda goes without saying that Brock would be the best man, and then the maid of honor would obviously be Harley.

    xD

    Barry could be the ring man and, as his clumsy self, run in, trip, rings go flying and fall on the floor, and Munchlax eats them.

    And then May chases Barry around the church xD

  25. #5150
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    @gengar i love it, except i think dawn would actually make a good one. after the engagement, when may gets to know ash's friends, she and dawn would hit it off and become best friends. but the harley and barry ideas was funny. i figured max would be the ring bearer cuz he's the smallest/youngest. but once again yours is funny. and i'll try to get to your fic next weekend

    and @t-bird it's only one best man and maid of honor. and i read the first to chapters of your fic. i see where you're going with it with may's angle and i look forward to reading more.

    and also i started reading @midnight's fic "in the unknown world" (2 chapters) and im loving it.

    and finally, if you didn't already see. i updated my fic if you choose to read that. i hope to have chapter 3 by this upcoming or the following weekend. feel free to post your questions/comments/reviews

    A New World Order: Birth of a Prophecy

    Credit to Brutaka

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