The Art Of Funny

[XWiseOneX]

Note: Most lines were borrowed from Shin Chan muhahaha..Pokemon is not owned by me nor any of its characters. As a reality check, Misty is assumed to have joined Misty along with Dawn and Brock on their Diamond/Pearl adventures, to make the fun writing this easier <3... Rated PG-13

Genre: Comedy, Romance, AAML (a little) or Pokeshopping. Constructive critism needed. No flames
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Snowpoint Mountain, on Route 217


"Ah the super fun ski trip." Misty thought happily while standing on a slope. She looked around for any hot guys peering about. "Come on guys, you gotta have balls to hit this fine, sexy, lady. It's nothing but genuine silicon."

"SKI PATROL! I have to stop you ladies there," a familar voice yelled. Misty sighed and turned around, seeing Brock trying his luck with a group of woman.

"The snow appears to can't take your extreme hottiness, you have to follow me down the slope to where the naked steam baths are and if you ladies love cafeteria food, I know where we can get a hot dog wrapped in foil" said Brock

Misty tugged his cheek from behind. "Let's try to keep the sexual harassment to a minimum on this trip. We can't afford to get any more lawsuits"

"I'm afraid I can't help it Misty" argued Brock

"I'm going to give you some advice Brock. Most of us are too sophisticated to fall for dumb pick up lines"

"Even from a naked Ash Ketchum?" asked Brock, who knew of Misty's feelings

"Ooooo where? where? where?" Misty looked around

"Hehehehe," Brock smiled and blushed

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(20 minutes later)

Brock cried silently to himself crouching down while Misty pounded her fist like a job well done. Suddenly, Ash and Dawn appeared.

"Well they told us to wait here on the slope for a skii instructor" said Ash

Dawn and Misty looked left and right. "Who is our skii instructor?" asked Dawn

"Yeah I don't think Ash meant a new smuck buddy" teased Misty

"I would be miserable too if guys didn't realize you had a chest implant" barked Dawn

"Yeah but I know I'm going to get laid sometimes this year" defended Misty

"Laid over a chair!" yelled Dawn angrily

"Ah hem" coughed Ash

The two girls smiled with a laugh. "Codename M like taking it from behind" said Brock, writing also in his noteball.

Ash can't help but sweatdrop. "Remember not to tell this to Misty's parents, okay?"

"HELP ME THIS WOMAN TIED ME AGAINST MY WILL. SHE ALSO CAN'T GET A MAN AND I'M NOT EVEN RELATED," Brock cried for help

"Would you shut up?" yelled Misty

"This guy better not hurt my chances with a hot skii hunk or his timid friends who hopefully like to watch" Misty thought

Just then, a blonde tall guy stopped right next to them. "Hi young boys and girls, this is your super awesome skii instructor, Simon Steward, and I hope you strapped on your diaper this morning because we're gonna skii the bejesus out of this skii slope" he said oddly

"Okay Mr. Stewart" said Ash

"Is it me or does this guy talk weird?" thought Brock

"Oh crap, I can't seduce another man with a speech impediment" sweatdropped Misty

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"Your first lesson is to follow me down the slope without falling. And if you do fall, you have to pick yourself up because when you're on the skii slope, no one else gives a rat's ***"
said Simon

"Yes Stewart" the group replied

They went down the slope. Simon in front, Ash in second, Dawn in third, Brock in fourth, and Misty last.

"And if anyone gets hurt or killed, remember that your instructor name was Sally, a tall blond skant" said Simon

Brock got worried and looked behind. "Don't ram my bum Misty. If all the girls see us, they're gonna think we're together"

"This trip isn't about you finding babes. It's about me finding guys and you're gonna help get their pity" said Misty

Brock looked forward and sighed. Just then, a hot skii hunk past aside Misty. "Oh he looks like a thruster!" squealed Misty to herself

"Wooo" a red haired woman snowboarded past Brock. "Who was that?" Brock peered to his left and saw the beauty. "Ah-woooo babe alert!" said Brock. He blushed and started to skii to the left.

Misty was looking when she noticed Brock missing. "Where...the?". "GUYS STOP."

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"YEAH BIG AIR BABY" the red haired lady said going down from an edge. "Woo-hoo" said Brock, behind her following

A woman standing on top of another slope noticed her. "Hey Alice"

"How's it hanging Jessica" she stopped her snowboard beside her

Brock came up in front of them. "How's it going Alice..Whooa" he tripped on the spot.

"It's not my fault I fell. I was just surprised because I thought you two would be hotter" explained Brock, trying to pick himself up

"I feel sorry for straight chicks everywhere" reasoned Alice

"Seriously Alice" replied Jessica

"weeee", came a voice. Brock looked behind him and lo and behold! Another group of hotties!

"One..two..eight smoking skii bunnies sweet!" he thought. "I gotta go, you two stay here as my back up babes". Brock went away.

"He was 16" said Jessica

"Hey wanna get naked?"

"Down girl"
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'Attention skiiers, please avoid the mobiles on Route 217, they're not actually mobiles, they're skiiers and Pokemon buried in an avalanche. Sorry for the inconvienence," the microphone system blurred.

The group of girls noticed a man giggling, skiing very close behind them.

"Hey where did he come from? Are you lost mister?"

Brock just kept snickering

"I think he has a problem with his head. He just keeps laughing and rubbing his hands on my butt", another woman replied

"I'm sorry girls I can't pick you gotta fight over me" snickered Brock. "Weapons are allowed but don't mess up your faces"

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"What do you mean you lost Brock?" yelled Ash

"I'm sorry guys, Brock is just really horny for a teenager. He just can't be stopped" Misty explained.

"I'm not liable, am I?" Ash asked

"Can't we surprise the story?" asked Dawn.

"They said you're bummed out of luck" added Simon. "We should seriously think of something fast, Nancy Grace would have us suiciding by next week!"

Misty and Dawn cried together. "How many skii trips must end with a pervert eaten by Mamoswine" Misty said while crying

Ash sighed. "We can't sit here like Congress and do nothing! We got to search!"

"Yoooooooo"

The group looked upwards. It was Brock!

"Brooock!" Misty yelled while skiing to get near him

"My career flashed before my head. I'm so glad you're back" squealed Misty while taking his cheeks apart.

"Let go of my face. I was hanging out with babes" yelled Brock

"This happens all the time. We're very sorry about our friend Simon" sweatdropped Ash

"Can we go already, my legs are hurting" Dawn said with a sign
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End of Part I

[Dragotar911]

"he looks like a thruster!" omg that was hilarious

[XWiseOneX]

Part II

Later that night,

The group was eating at Snowpoint Resturant with Dawn and Brock having an conversation about Dawn's next Pokemon Contest.

"You see, this role is so perfect for you, it'll make you a star" Dawn commented, rubbing Brock's cheeks to soften him a little.

"Noooo, I don't wanna be beaten to death" Brock said with tears pouring out. Dawn's script of "Pokemon Love and Hate Crimes" was torturing him.

"It's not her place, it's what therapy is for" thought Misty. Ash kept stuffing himself with food.

"Oh come you won't be hurt you'll just be in a coma for awhile. It'll teach you how to be polite and wait till you read about the side one when the Pokemon finds a gun" Dawn continued

Misty looked at Ash's plate. "Ash you dork, you got the green peppered tempura, that's such a waste?"

Ash looked at it and then back to Misty. "Why so?"

"You think those taste like money crotch, you'll never eat those," Misty replied

"Oh yeah, you take it" Ash put the tempurai on Misty's plate.

"Hey I didn't get it, you take it back" Misty ordered

"But I don't like that Misty, I think it tastes like money crotch" defended Ash

"Stop being so stupid and take this redundant green crap back" Misty yelled

"Okay what's wrong here guys" Dawn said on the other side of the table

"Ash is being a dork" sighed Misty

Ash whistled trying to look innocent

"Why do I like him anyways" thought Misty and she sighed

"Why am I doing things like this to her" thought Ash

"Hmm, something's up with them" Dawn thought
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(Later that night, in a hotel room)

"Hey Misty, do you like Ash in that way?" Dawn questioned

"What no way. He's not even my type" Misty said in defense

"Oh come on, you're the way who gets into fights with him."

"Friends can have good fights." Misty muttered

In the other room, a Brock-voice echoed. "Come on reporter lady, you haven't made anyone come themselves this year. You're losing your edge"

Ash sweatdropped. "Shouldn't we be sleeping Brock? It's like 11 PM and we gotta start heading out back down Route 217."

Brock looked at him. "Watch this Ash," he pointed at the TV.

Ash looked in that direction. "The American challenger only managed to down 18 hot dogs before his stomach ruptured, killing him instantly, the TV said"

"Awesome!!!! Forget about going to sleep. Let's stay up until 1 o clock, I'll even make popcorn" Ash yelled.

"PIKA," Pikachu also cheered

Misty got angry and pounded on the wall. "GO TO SLEEP"
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(11 PM)

Misty and Dawn have been waiting for Brock and Ash to wake up but finally, Dawn lost her nerve and went to the front desk to ask for a replacement key for the guy's room. Moments later, she entered their room and yelled.

"COME ON GUYS, IT'S MORNING. TIME TO GO FAIL TRAINING AND WORK"

Ash suddenly got up, although tired. "Mmm, my eyes feel raw like my crotch after gym", he said to himself. He got up and followed Dawn while yawning. Dawn went to their bathroom to wash her hands.

"I can't believe you guys stayed up so late" Dawn said. She finished and looked behind. Ash seemed to have a pink eye.

"Oh no Ash, your eye is all pink"

"Pika-pi" Pikachu tried to get his attention

"What?" Ash questioned and looked in the mirror. "Oh no I've been punked!! Quick tell Misty I sort of like her and tell Brock it was me who dumped his Pokefood in the lake", he quickly added

"Your eyes didn't get punked, they got pinked" Dawn said. "And that was a confession, stupid Ash" she smiled in her thought. She walked over to Brock who was still sleeping.

"Come on Brock get up you gotta take Ash to the doctor"

"Whaaat?" Brock said. "You need to get up to take Ash to the doctor" she informed him.

"You're so good taking care of Ash, I hate to lose your job" Brock said while turning away to sleep.

Dawn stood up, using her ultimate weapon. "Brock, get up or those nasty dreams no doubt waking up from will be the closest thing to girls you will ever have in the NEXT SEVEN YEARS"

Brock suddenly became scared and got up
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(Doctor's Clinic)

"The best free clinic money can buy" Brock thought to himself while he dragged Ash to the clinic. They went to the front desk to register.

"I need your insurance card and or coupon" the receptionist asked

"Sure" Brock replied

"Brock I can't see, is this nurse-holic like the ones on the boxes of your secret, sexy tapes" Ash asked

"Hmm" the receptionist got annoyed. She closed the counter window.

"Pikachu" Pikachu sighed

(Moments Later)

"Ash Ketchum and his pervert friend, doctor's ready"

"heeeeey," Brock argued

They walked to a room the receptionist pointed. "Hi doctor" Brock added. "I don't wanna go my eyes are fine" Ash argued. "Hey don't be nervous. I'm sure the doctor is a nice guy like Gary"

"What can I do for you boys?", an attractive lady asked. She had short black hair and was sitting on a chair.

Ash walked up to her. "There's something in my eyes and I don't know how to blow them to get it out"

"Hotty doctor, time to put on my manly face" Brock thought

"So what is Ash experiencing today?" the doctor asked

"Well let's see: redness, discharge, and he just has a weird obession to Pokemon and stuff" Brock replied

"And he's been concerned with the growing size of his thighs and stomach" Ash commented to screw Brock off

Brock touched his stomach. "I found that it went from a six pack to a pack of hot dog buns and...we're not here for me unless it's a physical" he yelled at Ash

"Okay, let me take a look at them" the doctor asked. She went to Ash's face closely. Ash couldn't help but feel attracted to those sparkling eyes. He blushed and made a kissy face. Brock instantly took him back.

"Sorry about that. Check his brain for Pokemon s*it okay?"

The doctor sighed and wrote on a paper. "Seems like an common form of pink eye, caused by irritation, sleeping late, or touching the eyes with a dirty hand"

"Are you grabbing and hugging Pikachu the wrong way?" Brock asked to Ash

"Erm..well sometimes we cuddle and play catch the tail" Ash replied

"You should wait until you're mature and play that with girls. Good times until you get kicked in the crotch" Brock commented

"Hey once my pink eye is gone we should all do that to Pikachu next time and see who gets him to giggle" Ash said

The doctor sweatdropped and looked at Pikachu. "Pika?" Pikachu said to her with a confused state. She looked back at the guys.

"Well I would like to test Ash's ocular strength before you go"

"Sure whatever that means"

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"What does this say?" the doctor pointed to a alphabet on the wall.

"Brock..beats..Dawn..with..a..wood..stick", Ash sarcastically read

"That's not true! And even if it was, it's not on the wall" Brock yelled

The doctor giggled.

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(Back to Misty and Dawn)

Dawn went back to her room with a poster. "Hey Misty, I got something to show you", she said while closing the door. Misty looked out from the bathroom and walked up to her. "What is it?"

"It's a hotel invitation for everyone staying over here for a dance"

"Dance...?" Misty asked

"It's a good chance if you want to know if Ash likes you" cheered Dawn

"Hmm I told you already! I don't like him" Misty yelled

"Yeah well he just admitted he likes you" Dawn said with a wink

"He...did?" Misty asked with curiousity.

"Yep...so go change up missy. I'll force Ash and the others to come along to. Let's just make this a surprise for them" winked Dawn

"Kay" Misty smiled

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(Doctor)

"I'm writing a prescription for eyedrops. It should clear the pink eye right up" the doctor advised Ash

"Ummm no thanks I'm fine"

"Don't worry these are specially made eyedrops for Pokemon trainers. They really sting"

"Ever since he's afraid of needles, he's gone to hate eyedrops" Brock added.

"There's a reason why I hate them. You should see how he puts them in" Ash argued

(Flashback)

"Okay Ash are you ready", Brock yelled standing on a balconey

"Brock noooo"

With amazing accuracy from two stories, Brock dropped a drip of eyedrop formula on the black of Ash's eye

(End of Flashback)

"Well excuse me for making life fun" Brock yelled angrily

"Don't worry Ash. We'll do the first sample for you right now" the doctor said

"All right" Ash lied on the chair with his head looking to the ceiling.

"Just add two drops to each eye and then dry them with a sterile cloth"

"Wow you know lots of stuff" Brock said

Ash blinked and looked at the doctor's face. "You have a huge booger"

The doctor blushed. "Well u seem to appear fine and...I gotta go now" she left the room in an instant.

"Wow...even with a booger, I would say she's still a fine doctor" Brock commented

"If she lost the booger, she would be an anchor babe" Ash said

"Pika?"
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"Hmm, do this dress make me too fat? Is this makeup too scary? Or are these two too comfortable for my femininity?" Misty thought while trying on bras and panties.

"What are you doing?" Dawn asked

"Picking my underwear. I don't wanna be the only one who wants to look good when they strip" Misty said blushing

"You'll be keeping your own clothes on miss" Dawn said in a defiant tone.

"But if he gets to strip and I won't that's not fair!" Misty pleaded

Dawn sweatdropped. "Boy is she taking it seriously"

A knock tapped on their door. "Hey guys we're back, what are we doing anways?" Brock yelled

"We're required to go to a invitation from the hotel" Dawn yelled back

"What for?" Brock said, wondering. He never got such invitation and weren't they leaving the mountain today.

"DO IT BROCK! GET ASH READY" Dawn yelled

"Oh fine" Brock said leaving.
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(Dance party)

Brock and Ash entered the huge room with tuxedos. "Boy this isn't really an invitiation, this is a DANCE PARTY" Ash thought while sweatdropping.

"Eeeeh damn Dawn but oh well look at all the ladies" Brock thought with big hearts on his face. He started to float away.

Ash felt a finger poke on his back. He turned around to find Misty, beautiful, sexy, and overall a god in Ash's eyes..

"Missty" he smiled. "You look great" Ash said with a little drool

"Yeah I know" Misty smiled back. Dawn walked up behind them and said "Guys I'm gonna go train, you three have fun kay?"

"Kay" the two said. Just then, a slow dance song started to play. Misty grabbed Ash's hand. "Come on it's show time"

"Waaait" Ash said while being dragged on the dance floor.

Misty turned back and hugged him. She led her hands to his. "Come on this is a favorite song for me"

Ash blushed. "All right"

They danced letting the lyrics and music flood their brains.

I wanted to see you..
Just wanted to talk
I went to the backdoor of your condo
But you changed the lock
Chicks are confusing
I don't understand
What message you're sending when you pork other men..
Does this mean...we can get back together

Misty giggled and leaned closer to Ash. Ash felt the closeness and smiled. Brock sniffed romance in the air and noticed immediately where Ash and Misty were. "Seems like they're the only couple out there"

I called up your mother
To get some advice
She said I was always was her favorite
She cooked me chicken and rice
We knocked back some wine
I cried on her blouse
One thing and another
Then we boned on the couch
Does this mean...we can get back together?

"These lyrics are awful but Misty is so beautiful" Ash thought while slow dancing with Misty.

You had me commited
This jacket is strange
You know I'm commited to you baby
That's why your cat I ate
Doc says there's promise
This medicine's great
It makes me feel better though I can't ejacu**te"
Does this mean we can get back together

The song ended. "That was fun" Ash commented. "But what does ejacul**te mean, is that some kind of lady face cream?"

"Yeah let's along with that" Misty sweatdropped