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Thread: Could this be love? (advance and contestshipping) (rating PG)

  1. #1
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    Default Could this be love? (advance and contestshipping) (rating PG)

    You must be wondering why i have two fan-fics on this website at the same time. well TIH2 is already finsih it's just a friend suggested to me to finsih post here on serebii. anyway this is a competly new fan fic. i hope you guys will find this enjoyble to read.



    Could this be love?
    (a advanceshipping/contestshipping fan-fic)
    Chapter one

    It was one fine morning in the small town of Pallet. Where a young pokemon trainer by the name of Ash Ketchum was heading home after finishing his travels in Sinnoh. With his companion Pikachu, they were both looking forward to see everyone back in Pallet.

    “How do you think Mom is Pikachu?” The trainer asked his furry companion
    “Pika pi” (I bet she is fine)
    “Come on Pikachu let’s run home!” suggested the unanticipated trainer
    “Pikachu!” (Sure thing Ash)

    The two friends ran all the way to Pallet. They ran over hills and past trees. Soon they were back home at Pallet. Ash took in a big breath of country air.

    “It’s good to be home”
    “Pikachu” (Sure is)

    They continued to ran down the gravelled road. Soon enough they were at Professor Oak’s lab. Ash pushed the black gates and enter himself into the lab. Professor Oak at the time was giving out the three starter Pokemon to three new young trainers. Ash went upstairs and saw Professor Oak and Tracey giving out the three starter pokemon to three new trainers.

    “Professor Oak!” Ash greeted the old Professor

    The Professor shifted his attention from the three young trainers to Ash who was heading towards him

    “Hello Ash. Long time no see. How was your journey in Sinnoh?” the curious Professor asked
    “It went well. I got up to the top three” the disappointed trainer replied
    “There’s nothing to be disappointed Ash. You did well. Professor Oak and I watched it all in TV” Tracey said
    “I guess your guys are right. Next time I‘ll do better” Ash said with a tone confidence in his voice
    “That’s the sprit Ash”

    Professor Oak was too busy enjoying his conversation that he didn’t notice a little girl was tugging on his coat.

    “Professor Oak?” Ask the little girl
    “Hmm? Oh yes. Nearly forgot about you guys”
    “Yes you did Professor” the young girl smiled
    “Well have you chosen your Pokemon yet?”
    “Yes. I have chosen Charmander”
    “Well I hope you will raise it well”
    “I will Professor”
    “Come on Vanessa. Let’s go” Two boys called out

    There were two boys who were waiting for Vanessa to leave.

    “Well that’s my queue. Must leave now”
    “Go ahead now Vanessa. Have a nice trip”
    “I will” Vanessa smiled and left joining the two boys who were waiting for her

    Professor Oak went back to his conversation with Ash.

    “So you planning to leave on a new journey?”
    “Not yet. I think I might rest here at home for awhile”
    “Well you better go home and say hi to you mom” Tracey suggested
    “Yeah, better head my way there now”

    Ash and Pikachu headed out of Professor’s Oak lab and head towards his home where his mother was. Ash ran down the path again. Soon Ash was back home. Ash turned around the doorknob and pushed the door. Ash pushed the door and enter the house. It was too quite.

    “Where could they be?” Ash asked himself

    Ash continue to walked the empty house. Still there was no sign of life. Ash went up to his room. Ash walked in and still nobody was in.

    “Where is everyone?” Ash asked himself again

    Ash walked out of his room. What Ash didn’t know that someone was following him. Ash could hear the footsteps behind him. Ash keep walking until he was in the living room. Ash stopped walking and heard one last footstep before the sound stopped.

    “Okay. Who is following me?”
    “Awww. How did you know it was me?”

    Ash turned around and found it was his younger sister Amelia. Ash and Amelia were only two years a part. Amelia had long brown hair and a teal top with a red skirt with a white hat with a half red poke ball as design.

    “What are you doing here?” Ash asked his younger sister
    “Is it bad to come home?”
    “No. it’s just what made you come here?”
    “I just finished my journey in Hoenn so I thought to come home”
    “Weren’t you staying at Dad’s? why didn’t you go home there?”
    “Dad was on a business trip”
    “Oh”
    “So do you know where Mom is?” Amelia asked her older brother
    “I thought you know?”
    “I just came like ten minutes ago”

    Soon Delia came back with shopping bags in each of her hands. She was surprised to find both of her children back home at the same time.

    “Well isn’t this a surprise?”
    “Yeah it is Mom” Ash replied
    “Lucky I bought lots today. Looks like I will be in the kitchen longer”

    With no hesitation Delia went into the kitchen with Mr.mine following her. Ash decided to show her little sister to his room.

    “So you want to go to my room Amelia?”
    “Sure”

    The two siblings went to Ash’s room. Inside was one very tidy room. The two sweat dropped.


    “Bro. I didn’t know your room was this tidy”
    “Me either”

    Ash went to find his other badges from his pervious journeys while Amelia was looking around his room. She could see posters of Pokemon on his walls. What caught Amelia’s attention was a half pink contest ribbon. Amelia picked it up and inspected it.

    “Bro?”
    “Yes?” Ash replied as he was still looking for his old badges
    “Did you compete in contests?”
    “Well I started when I met May. Why ask?”
    “Then why is this contest ribbon in half?”

    Ash stopped looking for his old badges and grabbed the ribbon off Amelia.

    “Who told you to take this?” with a higher tone of voice
    “Nobody. Why is that ribbon so important to you. Is it from May?”
    “May? How do you know her?” Ash replied as a huge red blush appeared
    “I saw you and May on TV were you cut that ribbon in half. By the way your acting it seems that ribbon has sentimental value” Amelia teased
    “It has sentimental value. It’s the only ribbon I have”
    “But it’s like it has another reason” Amelia teased as she lifted a eyebrow
    “Shut up. Come on let’s see if Mom finish cooking”
    “Now you talking my langue”

    Without thinking twice the two raced out of Ash’s room to the kitchen.

    End of chapter one
    Last edited by midnightmoon; 21st July 2008 at 8:15 AM. Reason: Fix mistakes

  2. #2
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    I'm not into anime shippings (just can't get into it) but I think that this is rather nice, from what I'm guessing it's about. (I didn't get a clear idea, though) It could be just me, but maybe you didn't give much of an idea of what it's about. It's probably just me. I've also noticed some small mistakes:

    Quote Originally Posted by midnightmoon View Post

    They continued to ran down the gravelled road. Soon enough they were at Professor Oak’s lab. Ash pushed the black gates and enter himself into the lab.

    “That’s the sprit Ash”

    “So you planning to leave on a new journey?”
    “Not yet. I think I might rest here at home for awhile”
    “Well you better go home and say hi to you mom” Tracey suggested
    “Yeah, better head my way there now”

    “I guess your guys are right. Next time I‘ll do better” Ash said with a tone of confidence in his voice

    Ash and Pikachu headed out of Professor’s Oak lab and headed towards his home where his mother was. Ash ran down the path again. Soon Ash was back home. Ash turned around the doorknob and pushed the door. Ash pushed the door and entered the house.
    ran and gravelled should have been run and graveled

    enter to entered, sprit to spirit (I know that was an accident)
    you to your, of you didn't include, so I put that in the quote to point it out. Around was not necessary, and I don't think it makes much sense. Pushed should've been opened

    There are some other mistakes you did as well, but hey, nobody's perfect. Heck, even if I review my work, my tenses are sometimes mixed up.
    Other than those mistakes, I think it's a good start. I don't think I must explain anything else.
    Luckyshipper
    My Final Destination Luckyshipping fic- Brawl Cross-Over
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  3. #3
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    It's pretty good.

    But why does everyone think Ash's little sister's name is Amelia

    O.o


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    It's pretty good.

    But why does everyone think Ash's little sister's name is Amelia

    O.o
    Well it's just a made up name ho-ho. i think im the only one who ever use that name for Ash's little sister. anyway i thought giving Ash a little sister would be a little different to the story.

    ran and gravelled should have been run and graveled

    enter to entered, sprit to spirit (I know that was an accident)
    you to your, of you didn't include, so I put that in the quote to point it out. Around was not necessary, and I don't think it makes much sense. Pushed should've been opened

    There are some other mistakes you did as well, but hey, nobody's perfect. Heck, even if I review my work, my tenses are sometimes mixed up.
    Other than those mistakes, I think it's a good start. I don't think I must explain anything else.
    Thanks. my spelling isn't perfect since i came from a poor english family. and some of my mistakes are not on prepose. i just type to fast the i press wrong keys by accident.

    Chapter two will be up soon.
    Last edited by midnightmoon; 22nd July 2008 at 12:41 AM. Reason: fix mistakes

  5. #5
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    Can't wait for Chapter 2


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    This has the potential to be good, but right now there's a few things that hinders it. Firstly, I found the first chapter to be too short. Another is that right now as is, it doesn't feel like a shipping fic, rather it makes you want to read more about Ash and his sister and their back story. Lasty, the part taking place in the Lab doesn't really do anything for the fic.

    As I've said, I would much rather read this for Ash and his sister, so I will continue to do so.

    Don't forget to follow me on twitter: twitter.com/tsubasa1 and follow my blog: This Week in Pokemon.

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    Well May comes in the next chapter. yes i know it's a bit short. but i will try to make the next chapter a bit longer.

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    Chapter two

    “Now that was a meal” Amelia said as she rubbed her stomach
    “You and you brother are related all right. You both like to eat” Delia giggled
    “Yes we do. Right big bro?”
    “Yep”
    “Why don’t you two go outside. I think you will need to fresh air” Delia suggested
    “Okay Mom. Let’s go Amelia”
    “Coming”

    The two headed out of the kitchen and to the front door. The two headed to a hill. The two laid down on the lush green grass and looked into the sky. They were looking at what kind of shape was the clouds were.

    “Look over there bro! It’s a eevee!”
    “An eevee? Where?” Ash said as he was playing dumb
    “Over there!”
    “Where?”

    Amelia sighed and stopped trying to help her older brother. Amelia thought to start a new conversation.

    “So how was your journey in Sinnoh?”
    “It was fine. I just got up to the top three. What about you?”
    “Same. Ninetales did her best but we ended up losing”
    “Well next time we will do better okay?” Ash said to boost his younger sister’s confidence
    “Sure”

    Then two smiled at each other and went back to guess the cloud shape.

    “Look it’s a Pikachu!”
    “Where?” Amelia asked
    “Over here” Ash said as he tickled his sister
    “Oh stop that ha-ha Ash!”
    “Okay”

    Ash stopped tickling his sister and decided to head back. When the two got back Ash was surprised to find May at his place.

    “May?”
    “Hey Ash!”
    “What are you doing here?”
    “Is it bad for me to visit?”
    “No. it’s just a surprise that you showed up without telling me”
    “Ash?” Amelia whispered
    “Yes?”
    “Is that really May?”
    “Yes. It is”
    “Ash who is that girl?” May interrupted
    “Oh this is my younger sister Amelia”
    “You had a sister?” May asked puzzled
    “Yeah”
    “Buy how come you never told me?”
    “Well you and Max reminded me of Amelia and I. always fighting”

    Amelia knocked her older brother on the head.

    “Why didn’t you tell me to your girlfriend?!”

    The two friends blushed.

    “Amelia. Ash and I are only friends. Nothing more” May interrupted
    “But when I took the ribbon you won back in Hoenn with Ash he started to act weird”
    “I only acted weird because you were touching my stuff with no permission and May’s isn’t my girlfriend” Ash said as he rubbed he head where Amelia hit him
    “I’m not convinced”
    “I don’t care if your convinced or not”

    Soon the two started to fight right in front of May. May sweat dropped.

    “Umm guys. Can you stop that? You’re reminding me of Max and I”

    The two siblings stopped.

    “Sorry May. So why are you here?”
    “Well I won the grand festival in Joto and I got invited to a real fancy party in Johto”
    “A party?” Amelia said with her chocolate eyes shining
    “Yes Amelia. I huge celebration party” May giggled
    “So are we invited?” Ash asked
    “Yep. I can only invited four people”
    “Who are the four people you invited?”
    “Max, you two and Drew”
    “Drew?” Ash asked
    “Yeah. Why do you ask?”
    “Nothing” Ash with a slight blush on his face

    Soon Delia entered the room and saw the three having a nice conversation.

    “Looks like you have met May, Amelia”
    “Oh you mean Ash’s girlfriend” Amelia teased

    This time Ash hit his sister on the head.

    “May isn’t my girlfriend god dammit Amelia”
    “I think I got the picture now” Amelia said with stars going around her head.

    May just laugh at the two. It reminded her of Max and her. Always fighting in front of Ash. She wonder if Ash didn’t mind them fighting all the time. But she was glad she wasn’t travelling with Max. It would just annoy the hell out of her.

    “So when is the trip May?” Ash asked the young brunette
    “Tomorrow morning”
    “Well we better get ready then” Amelia suggested
    “Well that’s the smartest thing you said since you got her Amelia”
    “Well you two better get ready now”
    “Yeah. Come on Ash. It’s time for a new adventure!” Amelia called out
    “All right. A new adventure!”


    End of chapter two

  9. #9
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    Lol! The classic Denial.

    This is really good!

    Can't wait for Chapter 3!


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    Chapter three

    “Hurry up Amelia” The annoyed trainer said to his younger sister as he knocked on the bathroom door
    “Just wait”
    “We are going to be late if you don’t. May is already waiting”
    “Oh you mean you girlfriend is waiting” Amelia teased
    “God dammit Amelia. May isn’t my girlfriend”

    Amelia opened the bathroom door and went out.

    “What were you doing in there?”
    “Fixing my hair. Now lets go”
    “Finally” Ash relived

    The two headed outside. May was waiting for Ash and Amelia to get out of the house. May looked at her watch. It was already 9:30. If the two were any later they would be late. Soon the two siblings came out of the house.

    “About time”
    “Don’t look at me. Amelia was fixing her hair”
    “Looks are important to a girls appearance” Amelia explained
    “Well no matter how mush times you fix your hair the mirror will still break when you look at it” Ash teased
    “Grrr. I hate you Ash!” Amelia yelled
    “Oh no” Ash gulped

    Ash grabbed May’s hand and ran al the way to the port with a surprised look on May’s face. May blushed bright red but Ash was to busy running from his younger sister that he didn’t notice that he also blush bright red. Soon the three were at the port and they were all puffing. Amelia landed face first on the concert floor.

    “Looks like you have no more energy to bash me up”

    Amelia pushed herself off the ground.

    “Listen Ash. When I get my strength back you watch out”
    “Oh now I’m scared” Ash teased once again”

    May grabbed Ash’s hands and dragged him towards her.

    “Come on Ash and Amelia. It’s time to go”
    “Yeah let’s go” the two replied back at the brunette

    The three showed their tickets before they got on bored the ship. The first thing Amelia did was going to her room. They all shared the same room. Amelia jumped on her bed like a little girl.

    “Amelia please stop”
    “Make me”

    Ash sighed and got on the same bed Amelia was jumping on. Ash grabbed her by the waist and dragged her down to the bed. The two started to laugh. May felt a happy feeling in her when she saw the two happy together.

    “Okay bro. I won’t embarrasses you anymore”
    “Thanks Amelia” Ash replied as he put his hat back on

    Soon the sun started to set behind the sea. The ocean sea glow a beautiful orange. May was at the end of the boat looking at glowed orange sea. Ash had just same out from the room and saw May alone. Ash decided to go up to her.

    “So what’s up May?”
    “Nothing much Ash”
    “So what are you doing here all alone?”
    “Well I’m thinking about tomorrow and about that party”
    “Are you nervous?”
    “About what?”
    “You know. You have to make a speech and when you enter the party everyone will be looking at you”

    May put her hand on top of Ash’s. Ash slightly blushed.

    “Well Ash. I couldn’t won the festival without you. You taught me how to catch my very first pokemon”

    Ash put his other hand on top of May’s. This time May blushed.

    “Well without you May I could of never enter in contest before”

    It felt like time stopped for the two. The two looked into each other’s eyes. Ash looked into May’s sapphire eyes while May looked into Ash’s chocolate brown eyes. They didn’t know that their faces were coming closer and closer until the boats horn blew. The two came back to their senses. They let go of their hands and stopped their faces coming towards each other.

    “Well we better head in now”
    “Umm. You can go first” Ash suggested
    “Well okay then. Just make sure you get in before dark”
    “I will”

    Before May headed back to her room she glanced back at Ash. He just smiled back. She smiled back and headed into the room. Ash turned around and face the sea. For the first time in his life he felt like he wanted to do that for a long time. He didn’t believe what he was going to do before. Was he really going to kiss May? Ash shook his head do get those thoughts out of his head. After that Ash went to join Amelia and May.

    When Ash enter the room he found Amelia and May already asleep. Ash went to his sister and tucked her in then he went to May and tuck her in as well. Then Ash did something he thought he would never do. He kissed May on the forehead. After this he headed to bed himself. May felt this and smiled without Ash knowing.

    It was the next morning and the boat had made it final stop. Amelia and May were already awake but Ash was being a stubborn and would get up. Amelia and May were already doing their best to wake up Ash.

    “Come on bro. wake up!” Amelia begged
    “Just five more minutes” Ash complained
    “We don’t have anymore time” May explained

    But Ash insisted to ask for more time to sleep. May and Amelia got a cheeky idea and asked Pikachu a favour. Pikachu agreed. Pikachu jumped next to the sleepy Ash.

    “Now Pikachu!” The girls yelled out

    Then without warning Ash. The furry little mouse unleased a powerful thunderbolt attack. It hit Ash and Ash turned all black.

    “I’m awake now”


    Soon the three headed out of the boat. Ash wasn’t very pleased because his younger sister and his best friend did a very dirty trick on him.

    “I’m not going to forget what you just did to me” Ash said with a unpleased tone of voice.
    “Well that’s what you get for sleeping late”
    “Well shall we head to the party now?” May asked
    “Isn’t that on tonight?” Amelia asked
    “Well we have to choose your clothes over there. They let you borrow some fancy clothes when we get over there” May explained
    “So shall we go now?” Ash asked the two girls
    “Yeah! Lets go!” The two replied

    End of chapter three

  11. #11
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    Chapter three

    “Hurry up Amelia” The annoyed trainer said to his younger sister as he knocked on the bathroom door
    “Just wait”
    “We are going to be late if you don’t. May is already waiting”
    “Oh you mean you girlfriend is waiting” Amelia teased
    “God dammit Amelia. May isn’t my girlfriend”

    Amelia opened the bathroom door and went out.

    “What were you doing in there?”
    “Fixing my hair. Now lets go”
    “Finally” Ash relived

    The two headed outside. May was waiting for Ash and Amelia to get out of the house. May looked at her watch. It was already 9:30. If the two were any later they would be late. Soon the two siblings came out of the house.

    “About time”
    “Don’t look at me. Amelia was fixing her hair”
    “Looks are important to a girls appearance” Amelia explained
    “Well no matter how mush times you fix your hair the mirror will still break when you look at it” Ash teased
    “Grrr. I hate you Ash!” Amelia yelled
    “Oh no” Ash gulped

    Ash grabbed May’s hand and ran al the way to the port with a surprised look on May’s face. May blushed bright red but Ash was to busy running from his younger sister that he didn’t notice that he also blush bright red. Soon the three were at the port and they were all puffing. Amelia landed face first on the concert floor.

    “Looks like you have no more energy to bash me up”

    Amelia pushed herself off the ground.

    “Listen Ash. When I get my strength back you watch out”
    “Oh now I’m scared” Ash teased once again”

    May grabbed Ash’s hands and dragged him towards her.

    “Come on Ash and Amelia. It’s time to go”
    “Yeah let’s go” the two replied back at the brunette

    The three showed their tickets before they got on bored the ship. The first thing Amelia did was going to her room. They all shared the same room. Amelia jumped on her bed like a little girl.

    “Amelia please stop”
    “Make me”

    Ash sighed and got on the same bed Amelia was jumping on. Ash grabbed her by the waist and dragged her down to the bed. The two started to laugh. May felt a happy feeling in her when she saw the two happy together.

    “Okay bro. I won’t embarrasses you anymore”
    “Thanks Amelia” Ash replied as he put his hat back on

    Soon the sun started to set behind the sea. The ocean sea glow a beautiful orange. May was at the end of the boat looking at glowed orange sea. Ash had just same out from the room and saw May alone. Ash decided to go up to her.

    “So what’s up May?”
    “Nothing much Ash”
    “So what are you doing here all alone?”
    “Well I’m thinking about tomorrow and about that party”
    “Are you nervous?”
    “About what?”
    “You know. You have to make a speech and when you enter the party everyone will be looking at you”

    May put her hand on top of Ash’s. Ash slightly blushed.

    “Well Ash. I couldn’t won the festival without you. You taught me how to catch my very first pokemon”

    Ash put his other hand on top of May’s. This time May blushed.

    “Well without you May I could of never enter in contest before”

    It felt like time stopped for the two. The two looked into each other’s eyes. Ash looked into May’s sapphire eyes while May looked into Ash’s chocolate brown eyes. They didn’t know that their faces were coming closer and closer until the boats horn blew. The two came back to their senses. They let go of their hands and stopped their faces coming towards each other.

    “Well we better head in now”
    “Umm. You can go first” Ash suggested
    “Well okay then. Just make sure you get in before dark”
    “I will”

    Before May headed back to her room she glanced back at Ash. He just smiled back. She smiled back and headed into the room. Ash turned around and face the sea. For the first time in his life he felt like he wanted to do that for a long time. He didn’t believe what he was going to do before. Was he really going to kiss May? Ash shook his head do get those thoughts out of his head. After that Ash went to join Amelia and May.

    When Ash enter the room he found Amelia and May already asleep. Ash went to his sister and tucked her in then he went to May and tuck her in as well. Then Ash did something he thought he would never do. He kissed May on the forehead. After this he headed to bed himself. May felt this and smiled without Ash knowing.

    It was the next morning and the boat had made it final stop. Amelia and May were already awake but Ash was being a stubborn and would get up. Amelia and May were already doing their best to wake up Ash.

    “Come on bro. wake up!” Amelia begged
    “Just five more minutes” Ash complained
    “We don’t have anymore time” May explained

    But Ash insisted to ask for more time to sleep. May and Amelia got a cheeky idea and asked Pikachu a favour. Pikachu agreed. Pikachu jumped next to the sleepy Ash.

    “Now Pikachu!” The girls yelled out

    Then without warning Ash. The furry little mouse unleased a powerful thunderbolt attack. It hit Ash and Ash turned all black.

    “I’m awake now”


    Soon the three headed out of the boat. Ash wasn’t very pleased because his younger sister and his best friend did a very dirty trick on him.

    “I’m not going to forget what you just did to me” Ash said with a unpleased tone of voice.
    “Well that’s what you get for sleeping late”
    “Well shall we head to the party now?” May asked
    “Isn’t that on tomorrow night?” Amelia asked
    “Well we have to choose your clothes over there. They let you borrow some fancy clothes when we get over there” May explained
    “So shall we go now?” Ash asked the two girls
    “Yeah! Lets go!” The two replied

    End of chapter three
    Last edited by midnightmoon; 23rd July 2008 at 4:08 AM. Reason: fix mistakes

  12. #12
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    Default O.o

    0.o Ash and May almost kissed.

    O.o Ash did kiss May.

    O.o Where is Amelia through all this! She should be eves dropping.

    O.o That is what sisters do

    Good job.

    Can't wait for Chapter 4

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    Oh yeah. i need to tell you guys that chapter four will be up by tomorrow.

    (I might put chapter four between school time)

    Okay. thats all from me.

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    Again I feel that everything happens too quick and too short. And it makes me feel that I need to learn more of Amelia backstory in order to get into it.

    Don't forget to follow me on twitter: twitter.com/tsubasa1 and follow my blog: This Week in Pokemon.

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    Well let's say Amelia is like Max. one annoying younger sister.

    Chapter four

    “So have you chosen your clothes yet?.” Said a younger trainer who was knocking on the girl’s change room door.
    “Yes we are.” The girls replied
    “Well hurry up and get out of there. We still have to pick up Max back at the port”

    The girl’s change room door opened and inside was Amelia and May. They had finish trying out their clothes for the party.

    “Come on bro. let’s go and pick up this Max.”
    “Yeah.”

    The three head out of the building and went to the port. Soon they were at the port and waited for May’s younger brother, Max. Amelia was on the concert floor. Guessing what shape the cloud’s shape was. Ash was playing along. May was looking at the sea. Worried if her younger brother was coming or not. Ash got sick of playing with his sister and went to May who had the word worried all over her face.

    “You okay May?.” Ash asked his best friend
    “Well I kind of okay. I’m just worried about Max.” May replied without looking into the trainers eyes

    Ash put his hand on May’s shoulder.

    “There’s nothing to be worried about. Max is old enough to look after himself.”
    “Yeah but…”

    Ash turned May towards him and put his finger on her lips.

    “May you should think for yourself just this once.” Ash said as he removed his fingers off May’s lips
    “Yeah your right Ash.”

    Meanwhile Amelia was looking at the two from a reasonable distance. She was with Pikachu.

    “Do you think my big brother is making a move on May?.” Amelia whisper to the little yellow mouse
    “Pikachu pi ka chu.” (I doubt it Amelia)
    “Well it looks like it.”
    “Pika chu pika pi pika chu” (It would take a miracle for Ash to fall in love)
    “Well you got that part right Pikachu.”

    Soon a boat came from the horizon. Soon the boat came larger and larger until the three could see who was on bored. Soon they saw a little boy with a green shirt was waving at them. May has a huge smile on her face. She was glad that her brother had made it to Johto.

    Soon the boat made it’s final stop and let the passages out. Max came out and was on the dock when her older sister May came and embrace him. Max’s face was purple until May stopped chocking him.

    “Max. I’m so glad that you made it here!.” Said the most delightful sister
    “Mom and Dad forced me.”
    “Oh. Well your still here”

    Max stopped looking at his sister and saw a girl behind May. The girl was next to Ash. Max went to the girl and looked at her. Max even shifted his glasses for a better look.

    “Who are you.?” Max questioned
    “Don’t tell me Ash didn’t tell me to you.?”
    “Well if he did I wouldn’t be asking you would I.? Max said in a smart way
    “Excuse me for one minute”

    Amelia hit her older brother on the head. Ash fell to the ground with a big lump on his head.

    “What is it this time?” Ash asked as he rubbed the lump on his head
    “First you didn’t tell me to you girlfriend and now you didn’t tell me to her younger brother. You really hate me don’t you?”
    “Do you really want me to answer that question about me hating you?. Anyway May isn‘t my girlfriend.”
    “I meant by your friend is a girl. *******.”

    Amelia went back to her conversation with Max who was now very puzzled.

    “So who are you again?.” Max asked with a confusion tone in his voice
    “Well I’m Amelia. Ash’s younger sister.”
    “WHAT?!.”

    Max knelt down to Ash who was in still much pain from his younger sister’s wild attack.

    “Is she really your sister?.” Max whispered
    “Yeah.”
    “Dose she always bash you like this?.”
    “Now you know why I don’t talk about her. It will just give me back painful memories.”
    Ash whisper back
    “Now now. Let’s head to the pokecenter and have some rest. Drew is coming tomorrow.”
    “Drew?.” Ash said as he got up from the cold concert floor
    “Yes Drew. You got a problem with that Ash?”
    “Yes he dose. His jealous cause now cause your attention will be on Drew.” Amelia teased

    This time Ash hit her sister on the head. What the other three didn’t know that Ash slight blushed when May mention Drew’s name.

    “You are just full of it aren’t you?” Ash said with a unpleased tone of voice
    “Yep!” Amelia giggled
    “Why that’s enough hitting other people on the head. Like I said before let’s head back to the pokecenter” May suggested once again

    The three agreed and headed to the pokecenter. But Ash remember what May said earlier. She seem she was happy that Drew was coming. Ash never liked Drew. Since the first day May and Drew set eyes. But for some reason Ash had his veins boiled up each time he thinks of Drew. Maybe because Drew and him never got a long. In fact the only time they talked was when he defended his bad comments to May when they travelled in Hoenn and Kanto.

    Soon they were at the pokecenter and everyone was in their room. Amelia and Max were playing mouse trap with Pikachu but Pikachu didn’t seem to like it. Ash and May were in the bedroom. May was bandaging Ash’s head from Amelia’s hit.

    “Ouch!.” Ash complained
    “Ash stop complaining. I can’t help you if you won’t help me.”
    “But it hurts.” Ash wined
    “No buts. Now just stand still.”
    “Ouch.”

    It took at least fifteenth minutes to bandage Ash’s head. Amelia and Max came in with Pikachu by their side.

    “Pika pi cha chu pi ka.” (remind me to never play mouse trap again with you guys)“It was only a game Pikachu.” Max explained
    “Pikachu pi chu pi pika cha chu” (But I’m a mouse. Playing a game that mention a mouse isn’t fun at all)

    Amelia saw her brother with a bandage around his head. Amelia ran to her brother and sat next to him on the bed.

    “Sorry about that.” Amelia smiled
    “It’s okay. You’re my sister. I have to be patient with you.”

    Amelia hugged her older brother.

    “I’m so lucky to have a older brother like you.” Amelia complemented
    “Well let’s head for bed. We have a party to attend.”
    “Why are we going to the party again?.” Max asked
    “We are going to the party because I won the grand festival in Johto remember?.”
    “Oh yeah.”

    So Amelia, Max and Pikachu all headed to sleep. May was also o her way when Ash grab her by the hand.

    “What is it Ash?.” the brunette asked
    “Thanks.” the black raven hair boy replied
    “For what?.”
    “For taking care of me.”
    “It what friends are for right?.”
    “Yeah.”

    May headed to bed. For some reason when May said “It what friends are for right?.” It just didn’t felt that way for Ash. For some reason he couldn’t accept that they were friends. Ash shook his head to get those thoughts out of his head. After this he went to bed.

    End of chapter four

  16. #16
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    Well, I'm finally here, reading

    The two headed to a hill. The two laid down on the lush green grass and looked into the sky.
    After using the two once, you can change to they since it seems repetitive this way. Oh, and practice using commas too. Anytime where there is a pause in a sentence, just use a comma.

    “Who are the four people you invited?”
    “Max, you two and Drew”
    Well, it seems a little weird that she just found out Ash's little sister and then says that she was part of the four invited ^^;;

    “May isn’t my girlfriend god dammit Amelia”
    It doesn't really seem like Ash to swear like that, but maybe I'm just being nit picky

    Ash grabbed May’s hand and ran al the way to the port with a surprised look on May’s face. May blushed bright red but Ash was to busy running from his younger sister that he didn’t notice that he also blush bright red. Soon the three were at the port and they were all puffing. Amelia landed face first on the concert floor.
    aw, that's cute. Even though I'm a contestshipper, I have to say that XD

    May put her hand on top of Ash’s. Ash slightly blushed.

    “Well Ash. I couldn’t won the festival without you. You taught me how to catch my very first pokemon”

    Ash put his other hand on top of May’s. This time May blushed.

    “Well without you May I could of never enter in contest before”

    It felt like time stopped for the two. The two looked into each other’s eyes. Ash looked into May’s sapphire eyes while May looked into Ash’s chocolate brown eyes. They didn’t know that their faces were coming closer and closer until the boats horn blew. The two came back to their senses. They let go of their hands and stopped their faces coming towards each other.
    Again cute n_n oh, no, contestshippers aren't supposed to say that... XD

    Then without warning Ash. The furry little mouse unleased a powerful thunderbolt attack. It hit Ash and Ash turned all black.

    “I’m awake now”
    hee hee hee, that was funny

    “Pika chu pika pi pika chu” (It would take a miracle for Ash to fall in love)
    Just something I wanted to point out, it generally kinda annoys me when people translate what the pokemon say. Sorry? ^^;;

    “I meant by your friend is a girl. *******.”
    Again, the way that you portray you're characters.... well, it doesn't really make sense for them swear.

    Well, not much contestshipping yet, but I expect a lot in the coming chapters! (JK)

    very nice beginning though


    I've had a really
    good time at SPPF

    but now it's time
    to say good bye

    Until next time
    Pokewiz

  17. #17
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    Well contestshipping comes in a little late. if you really want contestshipping i suggest you wait for chapter six.

    Chapter five

    The next morning was perfect. Well except the cold morning breeze. Everybody was awake this time. Not like Ash’s past experience. Ash was to scared to even sleep in anymore. Everybody was eating breakfast.

    Everyone was eating their pancakes except for Ash. Ash normally finish eating then the rest. May could tell he was troubled. And Ash would look forward if some one was coming to visit.

    “Ash. What’s the matter?.”
    “Nothing.”
    “But you haven’t finishing eating.”
    “I just don’t feel like eating”
    “Oh”

    Soon everyone had finish eating, including Ash. The four were going to head into town until a familiar voice called May’s name.

    “May!”

    The brunette turned around and saw it was her old friend Drew. A smiled grew in May’s face. The happy brunette run to the green hair boy and gave him a short and sweet hug.

    “Hey Drew. How’s its been?”
    “It’s been great. Anyway I got a gift for you”

    The pulled out a beautiful red rose from behind his back.

    “Wow Drew. It’s beautiful”

    May sniffed the rose. It smelled sweet.

    Meanwhile Ash could feel his blood and veins burning. He just couldn’t stand May near Drew. It would just piss him off. Ash was so annoyed of Drew’s appearance that he didn’t notice he had already bent the fork he use earlier to eat his pancakes.

    “Look’s like you have some competition bro” Amelia teased
    “Shut up”

    Now Ash was more annoyed than before. So Ash got up and started to walk away. May noticed this.

    “Where are you going Ash?”
    “I’m going to get some fresh air”
    “But Ash it’s really windy out there”
    “May. Can you just leave me alone?” Ash asked in a polite way

    May was surprised to find that Ash asking her that. May just nodded and let Ash outside.

    Meanwhile Ash was outside in the cold windy morning. Ash just couldn’t stand Drew. Not after so many insults he said to May’s contest moves in Hoenn and Kanto.

    “And May treats him like he was her boyfriend” Ash said to himself

    Ash heard a sound coming from a nearby bush. Soon came out a small little mouse by the name of Pikachu.

    “Pikachu? What are you doing here?”
    “Pika pi” (I was worried about you)
    “I’m okay Pikachu. Now join the rest”
    “Pika pi cha?” (What about you?)
    “I want to stay out here a bit longer”
    “Pikachu” (Okay then)

    The little mouse walked off back to the poke center. Meanwhile Ash was still outside in the cold. Finally Pikachu made it back to the poke center. My run up to Pikachu.

    “How is he? Is he okay?” May asked very fast
    “Pikachu” (his fine)
    “But the party is tonight. We need to be there soon”
    “I’ll get him” May suggested
    “Well hurry. It takes a while to dress up and put the make up on”
    “I know Amelia”

    May headed out of the poke center and went looking for Ash. Soon she found him under a tree. He looked like he was thinking something important. May went up to Ash and sat next to him.

    “You okay?” Ask a very concern friend
    “I’m fine”
    “You don’t sound like it”
    “Well it‘s just you treat Drew like he was your boyfriend. You seem so close”
    “Drew isn’t my boyfriend” May said a red bright blush appeared on her face. “Anyway Drew has changed. he is more nicer now”
    “Still I don’t know why you have to treat him so nice. Not what he did to you on Hoenn and Kanto. Do you know how many times he called you how bad you were or how bad your skills were?”
    “Well without does criticisms I wouldn’t become a good coordinator”
    “So you liked begin talked like that by Drew?”
    “If it was going to make my skills better then yes”
    “If you liked Drew to talk to you like that maybe you should of joined him on his journeys than join with me!” Ash yelled
    “Well maybe I should of!” May yelled back
    “So I know why you went to Johto. You just went there because you like him!” The black raven boy yelled

    May didn’t reply. Neither did Ash.

    “I’m sorry May” Ash said in a caring way
    “It’s okay Ash” May said
    “I didn’t mean what I said before”
    “I know” May replied in a low voice
    “Shall we head back now?”
    “Yeah. everyone is waiting for us”

    The two started to walk back when May grabbed Ash’s hands Ash looked back and saw his hands were holding May’s. Ash felt happy for some reason and so did May. The two smiled at each other and walked back to the poke center holding hands.

    End of chapter five
    Last edited by midnightmoon; 25th July 2008 at 7:45 AM. Reason: fix mistakes

  18. #18
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    well, I guess I'll just wait for chapter six.

    Anyway, this chapter was okay, pretty short, but okay nonetheless, I was going to take the time to point out a few mistakes but I think it would be better if you go and read other people's work. I heard that that really helps beginning authors improve on their writing.


    I've had a really
    good time at SPPF

    but now it's time
    to say good bye

    Until next time
    Pokewiz

  19. #19
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    well, I guess I'll just wait for chapter six.

    Anyway, this chapter was okay, pretty short, but okay nonetheless, I was going to take the time to point out a few mistakes but I think it would be better if you go and read other people's work. I heard that that really helps beginning authors improve on their writing.
    Well that is true. i have improved alot since i wrote my first fan fic (TIH). reading other peoples fan-fics really did help me.

    Anyway chapter six would be up by tomorrow. Cya then!

  20. #20
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    Chapter six

    “You guys ready yet?” Ash asked the four
    “Yeah we are ready. Now let’s head to the party?” Amelia begged
    “But before that we have to borrow the clothes they have” Max said as he was acting smart again
    “I knew that” Amelia said acting as if she did
    “Let’s stop talking and head to the party” Ash suggested
    “Yeah!” everyone replied

    The five all headed out the poke center and head to a huge mansion. The gates were all covered with balloons. They could see lights coming out from the big building. The five pushed the old rusty gate. The five showed their invitations and was entered into the huge building. The floor was marble. Amelia and Max were sliding on it. They were having so much fun.

    There was classical music playing in the entertainment room. Soon a fashion designer saw the five and quickly run to them.

    “Oh there you are. I have been waiting for you for ages” Said the fashion designer in a rush
    “Are we late?” asked the brunette
    “No. but we need lots of time if we are going to do all five of you” the fashion designer explained. “Well hurry and come follow me. We have people to dress”

    The five follow the designer. Soon the designer showed were the boys will dress up and where the girls would dress up. Soon the different genders enter their rooms and started to dress into their clothes.

    Drew was in a smart gray suit while Max was in a small white suit with a white rose in his coat pocket.

    “Hey Max. You don’t look bad”
    “Thanks Drew. You don’t look bad yourself”
    “Hey where is Ash?”
    “I don’t know”

    Ash finally came out of the change room. He was in a very smart black suit with a black bow to match.

    “Ash I didn’t know you can look good in a suit before” Max complemented
    “Max I have never wear a suit before”
    “Well you look quite good. The girls will drop dead when you just pass them” Drew said
    “Well I don’t know about that part Drew” Ash smile as he scratch the back of his head
    “Well see if May and Amelia are finish” Max suggested
    “Yeah”

    The three boys all headed to the girls change room. Ash knocked on the door. Amelia answered and open the door. Amelia was wearing a rich red silk dress with a rich red bow to match her dress.

    “What to you think?” Amelia asked as she swirled around
    “Very nice. Where‘s May” Ash asked to his younger sister
    “Over there”

    May walked to the door and was surprised to find what May was wearing. She was wearing a white long dress. She had pearls in her necklace with a matching bracelet. She also had pigtails with a white ribbon between it.

    “Wow May” Max said
    “So how do I look?”
    “Unbelievable beautiful”
    “Thanks Max”

    The two boys didn’t say anything. They wear amazed that beautiful in a dress. May looked like a angel that was sent from above just for this party. The boys had never seen May in a dress before. May went up to the boys who were still in May’s spell of beauty.

    “So how do I look?” May asked once again
    “Very beautiful” Drew said to the blushed brunette
    “Just like a beautiful angel May” Ash said to the blushed brunette who was now even more blushed
    “Thanks guys”


    All of them headed to the party. The party had already started. Everyone notice May in her beautiful white dress.

    “Now here is the grand festival winner. May!” the announcer announced

    Everyone applause at the grand festival winner. May got up to the stage while the rest found a table and sat down. May went up to the microphone and started to speak.

    “Hello everyone” said a very shy brunette
    “So May. How did you win the grand festival?” and announcer asked
    “Well my Glacon did most of the work”
    “Well what who helped you to become a coordinator?”
    “Well it started when I was ten years old. I met this trainer by the name of Ash Ketchum who was starting his jorney in Hoenn. I really don’t how it happen but I guess destiny help us to become friends and travel together along with his friend Brock and my younger brother Max”
    “So did Ash help you become a coordinator?”
    “Yes. He even taught me how to catch my very first Pokémon. I don’t know what I will become without him”

    The crowd went a huge “Aww”. Ash blushed. May didn’t really have to talk about their past. Soon the spot light went on Ash. Ash tried to hide under the table but Max and Amelia pulled him up.

    “Ash will you mind to come up to the stage” announcer asked the very shy trainer

    Ash just nodded and head up to the stage.

    “So Ash what did May do in return after helping her on her journey?”
    “Well without her I would have never enter Pokémon contest before”
    “Well why you two don’t dance off the night away”
    “You want us to dance together?” asked the two friends at the same time
    “Why not?”

    The two headed down the stage and head for the middle of the room. The two hold hands as Ash put his hand around May’s waist and May did the same. The two didn’t feel comfortable but soon they got use to it.

    The music started to play and the crowd started to dance as well. Even Max and Amelia started to dance. May was amazed to see that Ash wasn’t stepping on her feet. She had never meet a man that knew how to dance a classical dance. May couldn’t stop looking at Ash. For the first time she had to admitt that she liked Ash in this suit. Sadly for Ash he felt the same way.

    Soon the music turned into a soft love song. The soft flutes playing with the clarinets and with a violin to join them. The piano made the mood soft and relaxing. This made the two look at each other. They had done this before but it felt different for some reason. This made them remember what they nearly did on the boat but this time it was real.

    They looked into each other’s eyes and their faces went closer at the same time. Soon their lips were locked together. It stayed like that for just about one minute. Kissing each other in the middle of a party. The two younger siblings saw this.

    “Ewww” the two said in a low voice so they won’t disturb the two and continued to dance.

    Soon their kiss parted. Soon the two realize what they had done. May quickly ran out of the party and not one of the spare rooms as Ash just stood there. Thinking what he had just done. He couldn’t believe that he had just kissed his best friend. Drew saw May running into one of the rooms and decided to see what the matter was.

    Meanwhile May was in the room sitting down on the bed with her head on her knees. She too couldn’t believe that she kissed her best friend. Soon there was a knock on the door. May was too shocked to even say “Come in” so Drew just enter himself in. He saw May all alone in a dark room. On the bed thinking something serious. Drew came and sat next to her.

    “What’s the matter?”
    “Nothing”
    “I don’t believe you May”
    “Well I think I just did something very wrong”
    “What was it?”
    “I kissed someone”

    Drew was surprised to hear what he had just heard. May have just kissed someone. Could it be Ash?

    “Was it Ash?” asked the concern Pokémon coordinator
    “Yeah”
    “Well maybe you should go to him and say something”
    “I guess your right”

    May got up and so did Drew. Then May suddenly tripped over and landed on top of Drew. They just stood still for a moment then it’s happened again. Except Drew did the move frist. Drew kissed May on the lips. May could do nothing but gave in. she didn’t want to but something in her said she should. First Ash and now Drew. May couldn’t believe what see was doing.

    Meanwhile Ash decided to talk to May about the “kiss” they had earlier. Ash was also wandering where Drew went but that wasn’t much of a concern at the moment. Ash last saw May heading to one of the rooms. Ash walked down the hallway when she heard noises coming from one room. Ash slowly walked to the room and slowly peeked and couldn’t believe his eyes. It was Drew and May together. Ash could see May on top of Drew, Their bodies against each other. Ash couldn’t bear to see them together and walked away quickly.

    Meanwhile Drew and May were kissing each other on the floor. May finally got the guts to push herself away from Drew. May quickly wiped her mouth.

    “This is wrong Drew” May said as she quickly pulled her bra strap up
    “What’s wrong about this?”
    “I really can’t explain it right now” May replied as she put one of her shoes back on.

    After this May ran out of the room.

    Meanwhile Ash was on the balcony drinking champagne. The bottle was already half empty when Max and Amelia got up to Ash.

    “Bro. what is happening to you?” Amelia asked to her troubled brother
    “Yeah Ash. This isn’t you”
    “Leave me alone. A part of me hurts”
    “What hurts?” Amelia asked again
    “My heart”

    End of chapter six

  21. #21
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    Chapter six

    “You guys ready yet?” Ash asked the four
    “Yeah we are ready. Now let’s head to the party?” Amelia begged
    “But before that we have to borrow the clothes they have” Max said as he was acting smart again
    “I knew that” Amelia said acting as if she did
    “Let’s stop talking and head to the party” Ash suggested
    “Yeah!” everyone replied

    The five all headed out the poke center and head to a huge mansion. The gates were all covered with balloons. They could see lights coming out from the big building. The five pushed the old rusty gate. The five showed their invitations and was entered into the huge building. The floor was marble. Amelia and Max were sliding on it. They were having so much fun.

    There was classical music playing in the entertainment room. Soon a fashion designer saw the five and quickly run to them.

    “Oh there you are. I have been waiting for you for ages” Said the fashion designer in a rush
    “Are we late?” asked the brunette
    “No. but we need lots of time if we are going to do all five of you” the fashion designer explained. “Well hurry and come follow me. We have people to dress”

    The five follow the designer. Soon the designer showed were the boys will dress up and where the girls would dress up. Soon the different genders enter their rooms and started to dress into their clothes.

    Drew was in a smart gray suit while Max was in a small white suit with a white rose in his coat pocket.

    “Hey Max. You don’t look bad”
    “Thanks Drew. You don’t look bad yourself”
    “Hey where is Ash?”
    “I don’t know”

    Ash finally came out of the change room. He was in a very smart black suit with a black bow to match.

    “Ash I didn’t know you can look good in a suit before” Max complemented
    “Max I have never wear a suit before”
    “Well you look quite good. The girls will drop dead when you just pass them” Drew said
    “Well I don’t know about that part Drew” Ash smile as he scratch the back of his head
    “Well see if May and Amelia are finish” Max suggested
    “Yeah”

    The three boys all headed to the girls change room. Ash knocked on the door. Amelia answered and open the door. Amelia was wearing a rich red silk dress with a rich red bow to match her dress.

    “What to you think?” Amelia asked as she swirled around
    “Very nice. Where‘s May” Ash asked to his younger sister
    “Over there”

    May walked to the door and was surprised to find what May was wearing. She was wearing a white long dress. She had pearls in her necklace with a matching bracelet. She also had pigtails with a white ribbon between it.

    “Wow May” Max said
    “So how do I look?”
    “Unbelievable beautiful”
    “Thanks Max”

    The two boys didn’t say anything. They wear amazed that beautiful in a dress. May looked like a angel that was sent from above just for this party. The boys had never seen May in a dress before. May went up to the boys who were still in May’s spell of beauty.

    “So how do I look?” May asked once again
    “Very beautiful” Drew said to the blushed brunette
    “Just like a beautiful angel May” Ash said to the blushed brunette who was now even more blushed
    “Thanks guys”


    All of them headed to the party. The party had already started. Everyone notice May in her beautiful white dress.

    “Now here is the grand festival winner. May!” the announcer announced

    Everyone applause at the grand festival winner. May got up to the stage while the rest found a table and sat down. May went up to the microphone and started to speak.

    “Hello everyone” said a very shy brunette
    “So May. How did you win the grand festival?” and announcer asked
    “Well my Glacon did most of the work”
    “Well what who helped you to become a coordinator?”
    “Well it started when I was ten years old. I met this trainer by the name of Ash Ketchum who was starting his jorney in Hoenn. I really don’t how it happen but I guess destiny help us to become friends and travel together along with his friend Brock and my younger brother Max”
    “So did Ash help you become a coordinator?”
    “Yes. He even taught me how to catch my very first Pokémon. I don’t know what I will become without him”

    The crowd went a huge “Aww”. Ash blushed. May didn’t really have to talk about their past. Soon the spot light went on Ash. Ash tried to hide under the table but Max and Amelia pulled him up.

    “Ash will you mind to come up to the stage” announcer asked the very shy trainer

    Ash just nodded and head up to the stage.

    “So Ash what did May do in return after helping her on her journey?”
    “Well without her I would have never enter Pokémon contest before”
    “Well why you two don’t dance off the night away”
    “You want us to dance together?” asked the two friends at the same time
    “Why not?”

    The two headed down the stage and head for the middle of the room. The two hold hands as Ash put his hand around May’s waist and May did the same. The two didn’t feel comfortable but soon they got use to it.

    The music started to play and the crowd started to dance as well. Even Max and Amelia started to dance. May was amazed to see that Ash wasn’t stepping on her feet. She had never meet a man that knew how to dance a classical dance. May couldn’t stop looking at Ash. For the first time she had to admitt that she liked Ash in this suit. Sadly for Ash he felt the same way.

    Soon the music turned into a soft love song. The soft flutes playing with the clarinets and with a violin to join them. The piano made the mood soft and relaxing. This made the two look at each other. They had done this before but it felt different for some reason. This made them remember what they nearly did on the boat but this time it was real.

    They looked into each other’s eyes and their faces went closer at the same time. Soon their lips were locked together. It stayed like that for just about one minute. Kissing each other in the middle of a party. The two younger siblings saw this.

    “Ewww” the two said in a low voice so they won’t disturb the two and continued to dance.

    Soon their kiss parted. Soon the two realize what they had done. May quickly ran out of the party and not one of the spare rooms as Ash just stood there. Thinking what he had just done. He couldn’t believe that he had just kissed his best friend. Drew saw May running into one of the rooms and decided to see what the matter was.

    Meanwhile May was in the room sitting down on the bed with her head on her knees. She too couldn’t believe that she kissed her best friend. Soon there was a knock on the door. May was too shocked to even say “Come in” so Drew just enter himself in. He saw May all alone in a dark room. On the bed thinking something serious. Drew came and sat next to her.

    “What’s the matter?”
    “Nothing”
    “I don’t believe you May”
    “Well I think I just did something very wrong”
    “What was it?”
    “I kissed someone”

    Drew was surprised to hear what he had just heard. May have just kissed someone. Could it be Ash?

    “Was it Ash?” asked the concern Pokémon coordinator
    “Yeah”
    “Well maybe you should go to him and say something”
    “I guess your right”

    May got up and so did Drew. Then May suddenly tripped over and landed on top of Drew. They just stood still for a moment then it’s happened again. Except Drew did the move frist. Drew kissed May on the lips. May could do nothing but gave in. she didn’t want to but something in her said she should. First Ash and now Drew. May couldn’t believe what see was doing.

    Meanwhile Ash decided to talk to May about the “kiss” they had earlier. Ash was also wandering where Drew went but that wasn’t much of a concern at the moment. Ash last saw May heading to one of the rooms. Ash walked down the hallway when she heard noises coming from one room. Ash slowly walked to the room and slowly peeked and couldn’t believe his eyes. It was Drew and May together. Ash could see May on top of Drew, Their bodies against each other. Ash couldn’t bear to see them together and walked away quickly.

    Meanwhile Drew and May were kissing each other on the floor. May finally got the guts to push herself away from Drew. May quickly wiped her mouth.

    “This is wrong Drew” May said as she quickly pulled her bra strap up
    “What’s wrong about this?”
    “I really can’t explain it right now” May replied as she put one of her shoes back on.

    After this May ran out of the room.

    Meanwhile Ash was on the balcony drinking champagne. The bottle was already half empty when Max and Amelia got up to Ash.

    “Bro. what is happening to you?” Amelia asked to her troubled brother
    “Yeah Ash. This isn’t you”
    “Leave me alone. A part of me hurts”
    “What hurts?” Amelia asked again
    “My heart”

    End of chapter six

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    At the end of the Rainbow~
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    O.o I......um.......eh heh...

    O.o Were may and Drew going to....um..... Let me quote it
    "Meanwhile Drew and May were kissing each other on the floor. May finally got the guts to push herself away from Drew. May quickly wiped her mouth.

    “This is wrong Drew” May said as she quickly pulled her bra strap up
    “What’s wrong about this?”
    “I really can’t explain it right now” May replied as she put one of her shoes back on."

    Was she...... um.... stripping? O.o

  23. #23
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    May 2008
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    Australia
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    yeah. that part was umm lets say i don't want to write that part ever again in any of my fan-fics.

    And why do you think Ash drank if he didn't see that part?

  24. #24
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    Jul 2008
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    It would be funny if the same thing happened but with Ash and Misty O.o

    Make May jealous.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Australia
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    lol. too bad pokemon is a kid show. it it wasn't man the ratings would go up. (hehe)

    anyway chapter seven is going to up later this afternoon or tomorrow. it's saturday here so i have time to write chapter seven.

    Anyway that's all from me.

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