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Thread: Luna and Sil's story{PG-13 for safeness)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Uhh...I forget, your basement?
    Posts
    2

    Default Luna and Sil's story{PG-13 for safeness)

    Ok, I got a title and finally fixed issues I had. so, here's the first fragment of the story, not posing more because of lateness at night. Don't lock this because it isn't the whole first chapter, my chapters are long.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Luna and Sil's story



    "Crystal Island, a lush and unique place,
    where scientists are studying various things like,
    the odd fruit known as note berries. When note
    berries are ripe, they produce a quiet, but clear
    ring, the subspecies of note berries determine the
    note's sound. But, when note berries are consumed by
    pokemon, the pokemon's natural coloring is altered to
    one of many hues, also determened by the note berry's
    subspecies. And-" BROO! BROO!

    The ship's horn sounded, marking the arrival
    to Crystal Island

    "Well, well. We're already here! Ok, your
    stations are posted on the board at the end of the
    dock, once you reach your station, your mentor will
    explain everything to you." The CI introducer
    explained.

    The newest batch of interns had arrived on
    Crystal Island. Most of the interns had already found
    their station and headed off to it, but one girl,
    Luna, had yet to find where her post was located.

    "Um, sir?" Luna asked a passerby, "do you
    know where 'Gold Note Station' is located?" The man
    responded, "Ah, yes. Gold Note Station is loceted
    right on the coast here, I was actually headed there
    myself, I'll show you."

    The man introduced himself as Dr. Chorm, a
    pokemon medic. "and you are?" Chorm asked Luna.

    "Luna, an intern here to study pokemon
    psycology." Luna replied. "Ah, Luna, a nice name.
    Pleasure to meet you." Chorm responded.

    At the facility, Luna said, "Thank you Dr.
    Chorm, I'm gonna search for my mentor, he should be
    around, floor B, room 372, I was told."

    "Heh, guess we're going to stick togethor for
    a while longer, I gotta head up to floor B myself."
    Chorm replied. Once they reached floor B, Chorm
    explained, "Well, I gotta go this way." He pointed
    left, "Room 372 is to the right, about four doors
    down, good bye Luna, see you around."

    "Thank you Chorm, good bye!" She repied
    before heading down the right hall. "370, 371, Ah,
    here we are! Room 372." Luna opened the door, and
    ducked just in time to avoid a flying beaker.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ok, there's the current point you can review, so, don't lock this, the rest of the chapter will be up tomorow.
    "Why am I treated differently than others? I laugh, I cry, I enjoy life, just like everyone else. Do appearances matter so much?" -Sil
    Read about Sil and his mother, Luna in Luna and Sil's story(better title coming eventually)
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=354712

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Journeying through Hoenn
    Posts
    4,959

    Default

    The Fan Fiction Rules clearly state that you must post the entire chapter all at once. There are no exceptions for this.

    What you should be doing is typing up your story on Microsoft Word and saving it so you can come back to work on it later. That means you don't have to write everything in one go, and you can go back to your story multiple times, proofread it and find ways to improve it with each reread.


    These are the kinds of things you learn by reading the rules.


    Also, your story should not be weirdly-formatted to be squished to the side like that. It's not nice-looking, and you're not supposed to do it.


    Please read the Fan Fiction Rules and other sticky threads before attempting to post again.

    ~Psychic

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