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Thread: A million miles away (advanceshipping) (PG)

  1. #1
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    Default A million miles away (advanceshipping) (PG)

    Hi guys! im back with a new fan fic. out of the fan fics ive read here and fan fiction i realize that not much fan fics are wrote in Ash's POV. so i decided to write a fan fic in Ash's POV. i hope you guys will like it. ^_^ (rating PG)

    A Million miles away
    (An advanceshipping chapter fic)


    Chapter one

    It felt like it just happen, like it happened yesterday. When we cut that ribbon we both won in Kanto using Sceptile’s leaf blade. Not too long after us both decided to go our separate ways. I looked at your face as long as I can so I won’t forget our face and that sweet smile of yours. Soon you decided to visit me in Sinnoh. I was glad to see you again.

    But that was a long time ago. We had no contact since. Not even a word. But the world doesn’t revolve around me or you. It’s life and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. So here I am, back in my home town where I started my journey when I was ten years old. I’m packing my bag to set out on a new journey to the Sinnoh battle frontier. Like I did here in Kanto with you by my side with your younger brother and Brock with us.

    Here I am. In front of my house saying good bye to Mom, Professor Oak and Tracey. Who I traveled which in Johto and the orange islands. Mom gives me one more last hug before giving my tickets back to Sinnoh. Me and Pikachu say our goodbyes and walked off away from home and enter a whole new world.

    Pikachu and I decided to have lunch before heading to the port. I open my bag and get Mom’s home made sandwiches. I open the container where my sandwiches are. I found that she stills but off the crusts. I decided to get my MP3 player while I was eating. When I put my ear phones on I heard a familiar voice.

    “So May, how does it feel to be the new Johto Grand festival champion?”
    “Great”
    “So May, how did you start on your journey?”
    “Well it started when I was ten years old. Back then I didn’t know one thing about Pokémon”
    May giggled after saying that statement. Soon she continued talking. “I travelled with my younger brother Max, Brock and Ash”
    “You mean Ash who won the Sinnoh championships?” the announcer asked
    “Yes. Ash Ketchum from Pallet town. He helped me to get here where I am right now”
    “If he was listening right now what would you say to him?”
    “Ash if you’re listening I would like to say thank you so much. Without I don’t know where I’ll be right now. Ash, you’re a very important person to me”

    Those words touched me inside. I had never heard May say anything that deep to anybody. I just realized that I never told anyone how important they were to me. Strange that I only just picked that up like after five years on the road. I looked down to the container I saw that Pikachu had mostly finish the sandwiches. But I ignore that and listen again to May’s voice.

    “So where are you heading now May?”
    “I’m now going to compete in the Sinnoh contests”
    “Well good luck to you May”
    “Thank you”
    “Any last words?” the announcer asked the Johto Grand festival winner once again
    “Thanks to everyone that helped me to get where I’m right now. Especially to my family and…” May stopped for some reason
    “And who else May?”
    ‘And Ash Ketchum!” the brunette said as she did one happy smile

    After that the ad went straight on. The song was listening to your heart. Weird thing is I never follow my instincts. I normally don’t think but rather go for it before regretting my actions. I pulled off the ear phones and packed all my items away. I put my back pack on the Pikachu jumped onto my shoulders.

    “Well a new journey is about to begin right little buddy?” I asked my furry companion as I patted his head
    “Pika pi!” Pikachu replied with a sound of determination in his voice

    I patted Pikachu’s furry little head once again and ran down the path to the port. Before I knew it we were there and I flashed the ticket to the ticket person and soon he let us in. I stand at the end of the port so I could see Pallet for the last time. Soon it disappears and I walked to me room.

    I stared at the ceiling of the room I was staying at. It’s amazing how far I’ve achieve in my journeys. Now here I am on a new journey to the Sinnoh battle frontier. I look to my side and I saw Pikachu all fast asleep in a ball shape sleeping position. Before I know, the sky fell into darkness. Soon Pikachu and I were both asleep. Awaiting my new journey once again in Sinnoh. Who knows where we will both go and who will meet. Well time will tell.

    End of chapter one
    Last edited by midnightmoon; 14th August 2008 at 12:50 PM. Reason: ad more words

  2. #2

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    it wasnt very much advanceshippy, but it was touching
    and you're right, there arent many fics in Ash's POV
    Forever an Advanceshipper and Eeveelution Lover

  3. #3
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    it wasnt very much advanceshippy, but it was touching
    and you're right, there arent many fics in Ash's POV
    It's chapter one. advanceshipping will come soon. ^_^

  4. #4
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    I know the MP3 player was to advance the plot, but I found it too unbelievable as Ash seems to be too modern compared to his anime counterpart. I find that fanfics following the anime universe shouldn't stretch out too much from what is believable.

    But, it is a good fic, I'll continue to follow it and keep up the good work.

    Don't forget to follow me on twitter: twitter.com/tsubasa1 and follow my blog: This Week in Pokemon.

  5. #5
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    It's a good start so far, it was nice to see it in Ash's POV which makes a nice change for once. Reading it, it's pretty clear that you are getting better at writing and your grammar is improving as well.

    The MP3 part kinda nice, I had no idea he would have an MP3.

    “So May, how does it feel to be the new Johto Grand festival champion?”
    “Great”
    “So May, how did you start on your journey?”
    “Well it started when I was ten years old. Back then I didn’t know one thing about Pokémon”
    May giggled after saying that statement. Soon she continued talking. “I travelled with my younger brother Max, Brock and Ash”
    “You mean Ash who won the Sinnoh championships?” the announcer asked
    “Yes. Ash Ketchum from Pallet town. He helped me to get here where I am right now”
    “If he was listening right now what would you say to him?”
    “Ash if you’re listening I would like to say thank you so much. Without I don’t know where I’ll be right now. Ash, you’re a very important person to me”
    You forgot a period when you typed, the announcer said. And the dialogue is pretty nice but I think there should be more description on here, there were some parts I didn't know who was saying what. I think in the next couple of chapters you should work on your description a bit more, that will help the fic a lot and will make it a lot clearer, although this bit is mainly for the dialogue.

    But Nice so far, it's short but sweet.


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  6. #6
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    I think this is a good start! I have no idea Ash would have a MP3.

    Anyway, do you mind posting this on fanfiction.net?

    Thanks to my brother eonmaster_457 for this userbar. Click on it to visit his shop.

  7. #7
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    maybe. after legendary guardains.

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