View Poll Results: What do you think of this Fanfic One shot?

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  • Like it? I love it! I reread this several times so I won't forget this story!

    0 0%
  • It's one good fic!

    3 50.00%
  • Like it, but I've read some much much better.

    2 33.33%
  • I don't like this.

    1 16.67%
  • I hate it!

    0 0%
  • Get this off!!!!

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Thread: Now or Never (Cs one shot)

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default Now or Never (Cs one shot)

    Hi names Drew_and_May_fan. This is my first fanfic so please go easy on me. But please feel free to point out any mistakes if there is any! Rated PG just incase, (I'm bad at rating!) Maybe G is okay... Now let's begin!

    Dear Diary,

    Today I'm writing about my Best Friend Drew, I know weird, but I know I'll look back at this one day.

    Drew... he was a fifteen year old boy with green hair and matching emerald eyes. He is athletic, smart, good looking, a girl magnet. But he was also a jerk, rude and as I call him a meanie.

    But even if he is and probably always will be a jerk and a meanie, I fell for him, and I fell hard. But I really don't know what to do! What if I told him my real feelings and he pushed me back in rejection? I would be heart broken for the rest of my life! Plus with all his bimbo fan girls, he can just select one of them to be his girl friend. I mean, why would he pick me? I'm a klutz... but people say I look pretty, they're just being nice.

    And now my best friend, Misty, is giving me an impatient look. The "Why are you writing in your Diary in the cafetaria?" look. Ignore her May, Just ignore her.

    Plus just yesterday, my klutzy moves decided to strike again, and they decided to strike on him... you know HIM!!! We were at the cafateria and I was holding my tray containing an uncapped coke, and a piece of pizza. And then I tripped and spilled my food all over Drew, no he wasn't mad, I mean we were best friends since 6. Oh and how we met wasn't a really pretty scene either. Let's just say whenever he's around,my klutzy moves always decide to strike. When we first met. I threw a frisbee on his head. Since we didn't know back then he yelled at me, probably thinking, "WHY DID A STRANGER THROW A FRISBEE ON MY HEAD?!?!" Please, give me a break, I was only 6.

    But know everyone seems to be getting together. Ash finally asked Misty outshe said"yes" right away, she's been crushing on him since forever. Man, even Paul started hitting it on Dawn, not hitting her with a bat, what do you think he is, crazy? Well, maybe before I thought he was crazy... I seem to be the only one without a love life. But trust me, love is one random thing.

    Sometimes people seem to move so quickly while I'm still stuck in one place, trapped in a box with no door. But you have to learn when one door closes another one opens. Not that Drew closed his door on me yet. Hopefully he won't. But if I don't ask him I'll never know. I'm working on it trust me, I am! I'm trying my best not to always trip, at least not in front of him. And I'm doing my best trying not to ALWAYS fight with him. We still fight sometimes. But I think I'm getting closer to him. Just a few more steps and I can ask him if he feels the same way that I feel for him, hopefully it's a yes. Please be a Yes Please be a YES!!! But no need to worry! I'll ask him no matter what happens. And this is probably the last time I write in this Diary. So Bye, and don't worry I'll ask him for sure, at least untill I get closer to him. But believe me, I'll reach my goal which is finding love. Oops the bell just rang, that means I have to go before Misty drags me by my ear. So long. Don't worry, I'll ask Drew one day.

    Bye!

    Drew_and_May_fan speaking: So what did you think? Was it really bad? Please R&R well maybe just review since you must have read this before you can read this message. Remember Reviews please!

    Bye'cha!

    Drew_and_May_fan

  2. #2
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    Default

    It's not bad considering it's your first fanfic. My first one I put up a few months ago, kinda had a lot of problems in tn. all in all, i'm not a picky reader, so I think this is a great story. You really are a good writer, I'd read any fanfic you right!!!

  3. #3
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    Apr 2008
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    I have a question even though Haruka was writing in her diary about Shuu did Haruka even say anything to Shuu about her feelings towards him?

  4. #4
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    Hey thanks everyone!

    Waste My Time: Awww, thank you so much! You're soo sweet! I really thought that the moment I come back to see what everyone wrote all I'd see is cursing stuff about this story. If you'd read any fic I'd write. Guess I'll contact you if I write a new fic. ^_^

    pikachu200: If you read the last part of the story, it says May (Haruka) is working on telling Drew (Shuu), but what did you think about this fic? WAs it bad or good? What could I improve on?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    I like it n__n It's good. I did find a few mistakes though.
    Today I'm writing about my Best Friend Drew
    Best Friend doesn't need to be capitalized n__n
    He is athletic, smart, good looking, a girl magnet. But he was...
    You jumped from present tense to past tense with "is" and "was".
    "Why are you writing in your Diary in the cafetaria?"
    Diary doesn't need to be capitalized, and you spelled "cafeteria" wrong.
    But know everyone seems to be getting together.
    I'm pretty sure you meant "now", not "know".
    Ash finally asked Misty outshe said"yes" right away...
    "Ash finally asked Misty out and she said "yes" right away" :3
    I'm not much of a critic/reviewer...XD
    Anyway, it's good for your first :3

  6. #6
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    BabyLugia: hey thanks for pointing out mistakes. Trust me, before I had a hard time trying how to spell cafeteria. Trust me, just because I didn't tell people how old I am, I'm quite young and slightly failing in grammer. But I try! And thanks for the nice comment bout my fic!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    In the future, please make your chapters longer. I'm not closing this, because it seems as though you started it of like that on purpose - but just keep that in mind.

    Thanks.
    Encyclopika's Fic of the Moment:

    Status: Chaptered | R | Contestshipping | Finished

    Encyclopika:
    Made the banner
    Is a GIRL. >.>;;
    Has a deviantART account and a Tumblr
    Is on Fanfiction.net.
    Need a moveset for a specific Pokemon for a specific contest? PM me!
    Don't reply to my infractions. It's not gonna change anything.

    Random friend requests do nothing. Let's actually talk first. >_<

  8. #8
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    Encyclopika: (Hope I wrote your name right...) Okie Dokey, I got it! Future fics will be longer. ^_^ Sorry about that!

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