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Thread: Max's Hoenn Journey

  1. #276
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    Nice chapter, you're improving well. I love your description sometimes, and I'm shocked that Max caught a Murkrow! Somehow I never thought he'd never end up with that Pokémon, yet still it sort of suits him. Can't wait for the next chapter, to see how Charmander and Budew cope with their new partner!
    nothing lasts forever, but this is getting good now.
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  2. #277
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    Quote Originally Posted by harryheart View Post
    “Max, what on Earth happened? One minute you were here and the next you weren’t.”

    “A good question to start off with, like I said when I appeared back in this chair, the pendant had somehow sent me backwards through time to a few minutes before my younger self arrived at Birch’s lab. And on from there I learnt what Dad had planned with Birch to make sure I was safe, which involved giving you a back story to do with the Protector item that evolves Rhydon. Then on from there, I followed you and learnt that I could handle situations on my own and the multicoloured light re-appeared, and the next thing I knew I was sitting in front of my bowl of Chicken noodles.”
    I would have waited until I was home to discuss that event. Good chapter though.

    The outsider of Ash's team.

  3. #278
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    Quote Originally Posted by TurtwigFan1 View Post
    Nice chapter, you're improving well. I love your description sometimes, and I'm shocked that Max caught a Murkrow! Somehow I never thought he'd never end up with that Pokémon, yet still it sort of suits him. Can't wait for the next chapter, to see how Charmander and Budew cope with their new partner!
    I was hopeing someone would be surprised at the Murkrow as i was also thinking that it would be difficult for Max to train but we'll see how well he does. Charmander and Budew play important parts in the next Chapter when it comes to Murkrow

    Quote Originally Posted by TorterraGuy View Post
    I would have waited until I was home to discuss that event. Good chapter though.
    Yes it would have probably been better but I wanted some regret and tense reelings when Max was battling Murkow! But thank you for reviewing and Glad you enjoyed the Chapter

    Most Recent Chapter - Chapter 31: Don't Forget Me - Posted 26/01/13
    Credits to Sweet May and DanChimchar

    I will pursue You, I will pursue Your presence

  4. #279
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    I say 8/10. Why? The battle between Max and the Murkrow was very enjoyable and I'm looking forward to seeing how Murkrow is going to do in future battles. Also, the end of the chapter was an awesome cliffhanger which makes me want to read more! Good job and keep up the good work!

  5. #280

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    I think it's cool!

  6. #281

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    I think it's cool!

  7. #282
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    Max capturing Murkrow caight me off guard. Like Turty, let's see how Budew and Charmander think of their new friend.(possibly foe???)

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  8. #283
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    uuh, johto is spelt wrong but on the otherhand it was great, but, murcrow? charmander is gonna evolve and know to fly, so instead he should of caught something like a elkid or a magby, ya, its to late now though, so, its great though, thet murcrow put up a fight.

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  9. #284
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    Quote Originally Posted by chosen_one386 View Post
    I say 8/10. Why? The battle between Max and the Murkrow was very enjoyable and I'm looking forward to seeing how Murkrow is going to do in future battles. Also, the end of the chapter was an awesome cliffhanger which makes me want to read more! Good job and keep up the good work!
    Thank You for the review...they just keep gettng better from you and I hope thats a reflect of my improvements...lol! And I'm happy that the Murkrow scene worked out and the Murkrow he cuaght will have so much development between now and the league

    The cliffhanger is important..what is it? Well its not going to be explained much in the next Chapter but it is needed

    Quote Originally Posted by Infernapeman View Post
    I think it's cool!
    Thank you...is nice having new readers and what bits do you like?
    Quote Originally Posted by Torpoleon View Post
    Max capturing Murkrow caight me off guard. Like Turty, let's see how Budew and Charmander think of their new friend.(possibly foe???)
    Thank you for the review and yes time will tell to see how Murkrow fits in and what role he plays in Max's Team! And I like the idea of a possible foe to them but some things will be seen in the next Chapter!

    Quote Originally Posted by super riolu31 View Post
    uuh, johto is spelt wrong but on the otherhand it was great, but, murcrow? charmander is gonna evolve and know to fly, so instead he should of caught something like a elkid or a magby, ya, its to late now though, so, its great though, thet murcrow put up a fight.

    Well yes there is that but thats evolving too fast and Max doesnt need to fly anywhere really but nice idea

    Most Recent Chapter - Chapter 31: Don't Forget Me - Posted 26/01/13
    Credits to Sweet May and DanChimchar

    I will pursue You, I will pursue Your presence

  10. #285
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    Another great chapter, Max getting a Murkrow was a surprise and i look forward to seeing what you're going to do with it.

    Keep up the good work.




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  11. #286
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Snover View Post
    Another great chapter, Max getting a Murkrow was a surprise and i look forward to seeing what you're going to do with it.

    Keep up the good work.
    Thanks Blue. yea I plan on building Murkrow's character and giving it development pretty soon so people know where its general direction is and so on. There is a lot of work to be done and I hope people see what is going to happen for it! I cant wait to reveal the next Chapter but going to have to wait and stick to schedule so i dont get behind like i did!

    Most Recent Chapter - Chapter 31: Don't Forget Me - Posted 26/01/13
    Credits to Sweet May and DanChimchar

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  12. #287
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    I don't know if this was mentioned, but who is the girl next to Max in your sig? I'm guessing she started off with a Chikorita. So, who is she?(is that a spoiler?)

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  13. #288
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    Quote Originally Posted by Torpoleon View Post
    I don't know if this was mentioned, but who is the girl next to Max in your sig? I'm guessing she started off with a Chikorita. So, who is she?(is that a spoiler?)
    Remember back to Chapter 6! That is the only clue I'll give. But she will be making more appearances don't worry

    Most Recent Chapter - Chapter 31: Don't Forget Me - Posted 26/01/13
    Credits to Sweet May and DanChimchar

    I will pursue You, I will pursue Your presence

  14. #289
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    You asked for a re-review, and here I am!

    Description: Yes! Yes! Very nice improvement from Episode 1. I loved how you captured Charmander's fear and described the cake (that made me hungry, you did so well)

    Character: Once again, the restaurant scene is a wonderful example of how much you've improved since Episode 1. I also sense Max has some bad guys to do battle with...

    Plot: My only question is Max's pendant: How did he get that, and will the villians have something to do with it?

    Rating:

    Not quite a Raichu, but much better than your first episode.

  15. #290
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlamingRuby View Post
    You asked for a re-review, and here I am!

    Description: Yes! Yes! Very nice improvement from Episode 1. I loved how you captured Charmander's fear and described the cake (that made me hungry, you did so well)
    Thank you so much for reviewing as its great to hear what someone who's read the first and recent Chapter's opinion and I feel greatly honoured that you have. My desciption has got better and I feel that too espeically as I feel the Chapters are becoming increasingly longer

    Quote Originally Posted by FlamingRuby View Post
    Character: Once again, the restaurant scene is a wonderful example of how much you've improved since Episode 1. I also sense Max has some bad guys to do battle with...
    Yes Max definitely has lots of Bad guys to deal with! The usual Team Rocket, the mysterious team and also some mystery man who's name I won't reveal for obvious reasons, and he also has some interal and familly problems to sort out!

    Quote Originally Posted by FlamingRuby View Post
    Plot: My only question is Max's pendant: How did he get that, and will the villians have something to do with it?

    Rating:

    Not quite a Raichu, but much better than your first episode.
    I'm glad I have 4 Pikachu's especially as it is improvement from the first rating. The Pendant was vaguely explained in Chapter 12 when Max was sent back in time and he and May recieved it as a child. And yes the villains will have something to do with it for certain!

    Thank you for reviewing and I cant wait for your next one

    Most Recent Chapter - Chapter 31: Don't Forget Me - Posted 26/01/13
    Credits to Sweet May and DanChimchar

    I will pursue You, I will pursue Your presence

  16. #291
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    Very nice! I like how Max felt guilt, but didn't let it hang over him. Great choice in Murkrow, for that is my favorite bird type. I think maybe Murkrow could be like stubborn, and then Max earn's its trust by saving from a rampaging pokemon? Just an idea, anyway excellent chapter and I look forward to the next!
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  17. #292
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chaotic_Darkness View Post
    Very nice! I like how Max felt guilt, but didn't let it hang over him. Great choice in Murkrow, for that is my favorite bird type. I think maybe Murkrow could be like stubborn, and then Max earn's its trust by saving from a rampaging pokemon? Just an idea, anyway excellent chapter and I look forward to the next!
    Are you psycic!? But thank you very much for reviewing and yes Murkrow will be a bit tough at first but more will be seen in the next Chapter. He will hopefully have some character development pretty quickly

    Most Recent Chapter - Chapter 31: Don't Forget Me - Posted 26/01/13
    Credits to Sweet May and DanChimchar

    I will pursue You, I will pursue Your presence

  18. #293
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    The story has been a guilty pleasure of mine for some time. Forgive me Harry for the late review. Closet reading in the thread, I've seen quite some good improvements from you. Good descriptions and nice chapter titles. I would have like to have known how Max would have coped in an Hoenn journey and your interpretation was interesting. Some good battle scenes and stuff.

    Your characterization and plot is okay.

    Max with a murkrow huh? Wouldn't expect him having a murkow but it was a nice surprise.


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  19. #294
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    Quote Originally Posted by C.Gholy View Post
    The story has been a guilty pleasure of mine for some time. Forgive me Harry for the late review. Closet reading in the thread, I've seen quite some good improvements from you. Good descriptions and nice chapter titles. I would have like to have known how Max would have coped in an Hoenn journey and your interpretation was interesting. Some good battle scenes and stuff.

    Your characterization and plot is okay.

    Max with a murkrow huh? Wouldn't expect him having a murkow but it was a nice surprise.
    Thank you for the review. Any reviews are always helpful and great especially from people who have read from the beginning yet haven't posted as they have information on my improvements just like you stated. Thank you very much for the compliments and I hope over time they will also have major improvements along with my other qualities as well as my faults.

    I always wonderd what he would do on his own and I thought of this idea just over a year ago and began the planning and the major battles right from the start. The team lineups haven't changed and neither have the major battles so I'm glad I stuck to my originals there.

    Thank you for answering my questions and Murkrow was a big surprise and it seemed to get most people here. He was the first Pokemon I gave Max after Rats of course and I'm hoping his character would be seen as a vital part of the novel/story/series.

    Most Recent Chapter - Chapter 31: Don't Forget Me - Posted 26/01/13
    Credits to Sweet May and DanChimchar

    I will pursue You, I will pursue Your presence

  20. #295
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    Hey all I'm back with a new chapter that is hpeflly going to have lots of excitement in it. One thing I would like to mention is - PokéStation is short for Pokemon Station. And also I will start to complie a vocab list of things like that and post that in the first post. Enjoy the Chapter and remember to review and rate.


    Chapter 14: Which way? - What way?

    The morning light filtered through the flaps of the frizzy red curtains that had small cuts at the bottom for an unknown reason Max dared not to ponder. The beautifully sewn fabric was draped over the pristine finished glass that slotted perfectly into thewindows, which his Father had helped create when he was a young lad, working side by side with his Father, a perfect happy family. This was always the point in a day when he could fully relax, be completely calm and free from woes. It was peaceful, and that’s how he liked it. If only he didn’t have to drag himself out of bed and face the complications that proceeded with each day, things that would attack him unknowingly and then come back and bite him later on, such as the Pendant. How would he have known at that sort of age the repercussions it would have unleashed? He just lay there, as still as a bunch of Metapod before their evolutions, gazing adrift into the sky whereas Max just saw a few pretty coloured patterns papered across his ceiling. However, he knew sooner or later he would have to clamber downstairs to the greeting smiles of his family where table talk was always the discussion, and there was nothing keeping him to his solitary white glossy walls so he decided that family would take priority.

    The time was only just after eight, and the wild Pokémon had barely been up for a few hours, but all of Max’s household were washed and clothed, ready to start their days in a civilised fashion. Max however chose the opposite and lazily wandered into the kitchen wearing his Hoenn starter pyjamas which were covered in a few tears from the amount of use they had received over the years. Noting could’ve been simpler.

    “Morning honey, you had a good night’s sleep?” Caroline immediately asked handing Max a plate with strawberry coated pancakes for him to devour within a few seconds.

    “Yea, it was nice to be back in my bed, I can assure you that...but it seemed to lack something I had never noticed before, the smell of nature and a morning breeze that always tickles my skin when I look upon the world. That’s the appeal of a journey.”

    “And rightly so, I remember the first time waking up in the wilderness, besides feeling slightly worried I could also feel relaxed and free, something I never felt here,” May replied with a budding smile zipped across her pale visage as she stood next to her brother.

    “Well aren’t you two our promising little campers. Just remember to always stay safe.”

    “We will Mum,” they replied in unison, before heading into the comfort of a warm living room where the television was flickering with the latest news headlines. Max decided not to pay too much attention to it, but instead delve his fork into the soft crevasses of his pancakes that had a noticeable fluffy texture before flopping into the velvet surfaced sofa with his feet resting upon the wooden coffee table. His eyes would not leave the platter of food that was slowly diminishing in content the more Max gobbled down, falling prey to the hunger ravished from his fateful encounter the night before where a new spark of hope and love for him was introduced, that alone would leave anyone hungry. Yet something was stopping May which totally baffled Max, there was never a time that he remembered when she wouldn’t eat food, it occasionally got to the point sometimes that she considered eating a higher priority than anything else. What was it that had caught her attention?

    “Hey Max, put your plate down and look at this,” May said as if answering Max’s prayers with the answer to his question as she grabbed his arm and pulled him round to see the wide television screen scrolling a breaking news story across the bottom of the picture. Max sighed, expecting the usual hoo-ha of a new trainer becoming a Champion or beating the Elite Four of a region, or a new Top Co-ordinator crowned, maybe Ash had successfully won the Sinnoh league? But no, today it was something more earnest, a dark and gloomy story where the reporter was standing in front of a Pokémon Centre billowing with smoke that was misting the lens of the film camera, causing all the crew to slightly cough. Max was horrified; in all his travels he had never seen something this horrendous, this dreadful. It seemed extremely likely that some people came out unscathed while others were left in bad conditions, or even worse. What about the little Pokémon, or even the tough ones, what had become of the Pokémon in care during this incident? He couldn’t bear to think about it, from just the images he saw he knew what horrors and devastation there could be, he was only thankful that he wasn’t there and that his Pokémon weren’t caught up in this shock. He took hold of the remote sitting before him on the mahogany table immediately turning the volume up so they could hear what the reporter had to say on the situation:

    “The reports from local witnesses state that a few Passenger Helicopters arrived at the PokéCentre late last night where a number of shady characters stepped out and commanded their Pokémon to attack the building with a number of powerful moves. From then on, not much is known but we can report that a young lad on his travels through Hoenn was captured and taken aboard the Helicopter that left almost immediately after the attack was instigated, and reports on his whereabouts are unknown. We’ll report any new information the minute it is unveiled so don’t take your eyes off this channel. This is Kathryn King reporting for Hoenn Regional News on Channel 17!” The slim brunette glumly stated while moving out of the picture so the viewers could have a better sight of the situation.

    The clouds of the harsh clammy haze continued to escalate higher into the sky before vanishing into the thick layer of clouds that had slowly rolled in. Nothing seemed natural anymore but instead looked like a synthetic mock up in some sort of new movie where violence could be acceptable as it always was in fantasy and the culprits were only highly paid actors. But Max knew otherwise, when the news lady described the bandits he could tell who they were, the same people that had grabbed them a few weeks before at Oldale Town, where he was left vulnerable and his Pokémon in an even worse state. If Officer Jenny hadn’t arrived when she did this may have been his fate, kidnapped and likely not seen again. He had to help in whatever way possible; this lad could be in grave danger.

    “Roxanne, come here quickly,” he shouted still not being able to avert his gaze from the horrors being shown on the television slowly sinking into the threshold of his thought capacity.

    He looked up at Roxanne as she walked in, who immediately began staring at the iridescent image being repeatedly shown across the screen using the occasional footage taken by bystanders who filmed the helicopters on their Pokétch’s and Pokénav’s, handy small devices that were able to keep people in contact with others whilst utilising the features of applications that could help a trainer and co-ordinator wherever they were. This time though, it wasn’t the case.

    Roxanne was stunned, the images of terrified people floated through her head as she looked at the devastation and destruction, trying to shift the memories from her childhood away from centre stage, where the bubbling wells of lava just kept on overflowing and lapsing at the innocent Pokémon unable to protect themselves. It was tear jerking thoughts and she felt that her suppressed feelings were overcrowding her like they once did causing numerous amounts of therapy to be bought for her, which evidently hadn’t worked. She realised that her mind had carried her off into an unwelcome land and her concentration had drifted from listening to Max.

    “Roxanne, did you hear what I just said?”

    “Ugh, sorry no, my mind seemed to wonder, it happens sometimes whenever I see heartbreaking situations such as this one. Never been able to figure out why...”

    “That’s okay, you don’t need to apologise I’ll just repeat it. Anyway the news reporter just stated than a young lad was taken by a group of crooks in passenger helicopters. Ring any bells?”

    “Oh my, it most certainly does, and judging by what happened to us this boy and his Pokémon could be in a lot of danger, I think that we need to inform the authorities about this immediately considering that they’re already on the hunt of these thugs and any more information couldn’t hurt. You go get ready now and I’ll meet you down at the PokéStation.”

    Roxanne had already made it out of the house by the time Max had begun to move, leaving the door wide open because she was in such a hurry. Max could clearly see the small spec she was becoming as she edged closer to the Shopping District of the town only seeming to narrowly make it round the bend that led towards the PokéStation. Now he had to be quick if he was going to make it in time to give his accounts, so he leapt over the sofa arm before stomping upstairs in such an urgent panic. He had never before felt so needed, someone’s fate was left in his hands and he had so much power that he knew he could use for good intentions, something like that was not a missable experience. When one adventure closes another one opens.

    He was once again dressed in his usual green t-shirt and red shorts that seemed scruffy and crinkled after a few weeks of not being ironed, but his looks were never too important to him, he would one day find someone that loved him for who he was instead of him trying to act all manly, especially at the age of 10. His clothes looked as if they had become house bound again with the dust collating on the fabrics overnight, it didn’t seem natural anymore. With his hands he was able to brush most of the dust from his garments before grabbing his yellow bag left in a heap in the corner and running out of his bedroom door. His whole pace seemed rushed and hasty now, quite unusual for his normal self, but today wasn’t normal and his life would no longer be what he considered ‘normal’ as his real journey had finally begun and he was stepping out into the world as an independent man.

    His feet had carried him all the way to the beige coloured door that lead into his families’ generational house, and he was ready to confront his enemies within and the enemies that could physically attack him. They had both manage to wheel themselves back into his life and place a wedge that would always guarantee them a passage to get back in, it was going to be a tough struggle to get rid of them but Max was confident that confiding in the Police would be their best bet of tackling the mysterious team and the baggage that staid within him from their last encounter.

    “May, I shouldn’t be too long so tell Mum and Dad we’ll be back in time for Lunch okay,” he hastily said without even turning around to hear her reply, once said all he could do was follow in Roxanne’s footsteps and charge along the street heading toward the Shopping District of the town that had the PokéStation just before it. Within no time their accounts would be used to help with the safety of the poor young boy that was being held captive and allow search teams to get a full profile on the case.


    *****


    “I’m sorry but if you don’t have a proper description then the information isn’t of much use,” the turquoise haired lady regretfully stated knowing full well that the two people stood before her were telling the truth as she had been roped in previously when the attacks at Oldale Town had occurred and even before them when a few miscellaneous cases appeared that could be linked again to the team. However in each case no substantial evidence was able to be submitted and the people just disappeared, leaving no DNA trace or no accurate sightings. They were extremely clever and devious and were willing to go to any lengths to succeed.

    The young lady looked up from the floor in which she could share emotion when her feelings were put into question, straightening her buttoned uniform before making eye contact with Roxanne and Max who seemed quite shocked yet saddened by the news they had received.

    “What do you mean it’s of no use? We came down here the minute we saw the news headlines with the idea that our information could be used in any way, not just for descriptions on the appearance. How about creating character profiles for the organisation or so on? Isn’t that what you did for Team Magma and Aqua?” Roxanne angrily shouted showing a side to Max that he had never witnessed. Her mood was flaring and her attitude was completely unusual but her words were where it was all clear and her point was correct. How could the Hoenn police force let this slip?

    “Come on Roxanne, they have the information now and can do with it what they please. Its best if we just head home grab our stuff and leave for Rustboro. It doesn’t seem like our company is needed anymore and I think we’re overstaying our welcome at my parents place.”

    They slowly turned around as if expecting a comment from the officer, but there was none; she was left questioning the morals of her work and whether or not she should relay the information to members out in the field, she knew that the information would still be vital no matter how detailed it was. She still gazed at the two trainers as they exited the station, watching the mechanised doors slowly slide shut behind them as they wandered out onto the street with their sorrow lingering. They couldn’t help but feel useless and feeble, they knew they had what it took to help this young trainer however they just weren’t able to, it was within their grasp, one step away, but still unobtainable.

    It didn’t take long for them to solemnly saunter through the front door to Max’s house, eyes focused upon the floor as voices congratulated their presence. May was the first to greet them with her perky smile grasping her brother in a choking grip as she calmly hugged him, understanding the pressure and terrifying situation he had just put himself into. She would never have dared confront an Officer of the law like that even if she held important knowledge, as her nerves would’ve gotten the better of her, but her brother could and did and her pride for him shone like a lighthouse beacon in foggy weather. These last couple of days had proven his worth, the successful Gym win, the time travel experience and the capture, three major occurrences that would define his character and persona.

    “Max, don’t worry you did your best and that’s all we ever want,” May sweetly composed with her voice, being completely cliché with her phrase to try and say what Max wanted to hear.

    “Thanks sis, but that’s not going to cut it this time. I let that boy down and now he’s going to pay the price. If only I had pushed the Police sooner into cracking this case or at least compiling evidence then this nightmare may have been averted.”

    “Yes exactly, may have been averted. You wouldn’t have known for sure and to be honest we still don’t know the real reason why this attack happened and it’s highly unlikely we’ll ever find out,” Roxanne timely intervened with her intellectual words of wisdom that always brought light and truth to a situation, although quite commonly not always at once.
    #
    “Why don’t you two go sit down on the settee and I’ll grab us some drinks and biscuits before we have lunch, it might calm you down and make you feel less exhausted.”

    “Yea, good idea May, thanks darling you’re ever so kind, I can see now why Ash wanted to have you tag along with him,” Roxanne boldly commented with both girls chuckling. The mood change with Roxanne was snappy and extensive as if she was a teenager again experiencing all the difficulties of hormones, but Max took it as a light laugh and slowly retreated into his Grandfathers armchair that was so snug it seemed to wrap its leather around you and suck you in. Engraved upon the wooden supports that Max use to be able to slither underneath was the name ‘Maxi’ written upon it, just like how his Grandfather use to refer to him when he was only a toddler. He was never sure of its significance but was too afraid to ask any adults its true meaning.

    “And here you go Max, one fizzy drink just how you like it and a few chocolate biscuits that will hopefully keep you going for another hours or two,” May briskly said whisking Max’s items from the tray and placing them in his care before handing the remaining food and drink to Roxanne, “Now shall we see if there’s any adventurous programmes on, I’m sure there’s something that will tickle the taste buds.”

    May’s control of the remote seemed helpless as she swayed the pictures from one channel to the next being clever to avoid all the coverage on the PokéCentre abduction and the damage caused. Max wasn’t even paying attention but staring out into blank space watching the clouds whistle past on a hush wind creating numerous menacing shadows that cast across the land. It seemed majestic yet beautiful as nature’s arrogance and beauty played against one another in a giant game of tug of war, trying to gain dominance and power over the other, just like what pitiful humans did encasing and trapping God like creatures with immense power. His thoughts wandered back to last night where his reflection only seemed like a meek and pointless scrap upon a disposable mirror. Is that what he was, disposable? He wasn’t able to answer his own question before his Mum called from within the kitchen where wonderful smells of baked dough were erupting; it was like a heavenly assortment of senses that were penetrating the entire house leaving its fragrance in every corner. It thusly seemed as if Lunch was now prepared and once eaten he would be on his way travelling through dangers that would always appear from every hidden bend with icicle daggers to stop him in his track.

    “Come on Max, you don’t want to miss Mum’s special pizzas now do you?” May jokingly said creeping a smile upon the young boys face. He pushed himself up from the couch and moved at a relative pace to the dining table, where, set out in every place was full sized tomato pizza that was beckoning his attention. In clay backed small pots where additional toppings to be added along with the cheese spread evenly over the red lining. He was now in a haven of delicious assortments ranging from pepperoni to olives and chicken to herbs, he couldn’t believe the smells. But then his mind had come to the conclusion of the situation, either she had some major news or was attempting to cheer Max up, or something else terrible had occurred.

    “Mum, what’s happened now?” Max sighed.

    “What do you mean dear?”

    “I mean that it’s very unusual for us to have something this magnificent without something to be broken to us gently, basically there’s a purpose,” his cold tone sounded which was very unlike him. The bare roughness to his voice was harsh and impounding upon the ears and had appeared out of nowhere transforming him suddenly into a menacing psychopath, or so one would have thought.

    “Max, don’t be negative towards your Mother, now Caroline I believe he has cracked our case so there’s no point in concealing our reasons now,” Norman commented.

    “Well then honey, we most certainly should. Max and May, your father and I have recently been feeling a loss with the departure of Max from our house with things being so quiet, and it doesn’t feel the same or seem right anymore without you. That’s why I’m now expecting and in roughly 8 months time you two will have a little baby sister or brother.” There was no response; both mouths were open wide as their emotions got the better of them causing them to react so openly, it was an amazing piece of news.


    *****


    “Okay then Mum, I’ll stay safe and make sure you do too I don’t want you working yourself and causing fatigue for both you and my baby sibling,” Max lovingly spoke; only slightly gripping his Mum in a hug, “And May I hope you do well in your Sinnoh contests and remember I’m always going to root for you.”

    “Yes Max, and do well in your Gym Battles, I can’t wait to see you in the League,” May responded with her right arm high in the air as she waved her brother goodbye before he had completely progressed into the distance with Roxanne by his side. The news he had received over Lunch had been a real eye opener for him as his new sense of accomplishment sparked inside. Yes the atrocity that had occurred a good six hours earlier was till forefront in his thinking but with good things planned for his future he couldn’t dwell too much on the dampening aspects of life.


    *****


    They had reached the start of the endless trail of trees that etched further and further into the distance. There didn’t seem to be much life fluttering inside the thick foliage but he was certain that he had to enter before the evening so they didn’t fall too far behind schedule. The clear sign that had the words ‘Petalburg Forest – the heart of bugs’ was portrayed differently in his mind than the last time he had been here, now covered in what seemed like Wurmple threads glistening with a frosty touch even in the afternoon. For once in his life he had stopped to evaluate the situation and question whether entering today was the right idea seeing as there was a PokéCentre only a few hundred yards away and a few cafes surrounding that that would be sufficient for one night. However his ego would once again prevail.

    “Max, you ready then? Got all the essentials with you and haven’t left anything behind?”

    “No I have everything inside my backpack so there’s no need to worry.”

    “Okay then, we better start heading....”

    “Hey wait,” a young man called from behind them flailing his skinny pale arms about to get noticed which caused the rims of his blue top to jag around. He grabbed hold of a PokeBall as he gained upon the two shocked still by the outburst. He launched the PokeBall high into the air before it snapped open to reveal a shining Bug Pokémon hovering above the ground. Its wings had symmetrical patterns drawn over the pale coloured glossy surface that was producing the faint sparkle. It was unlike anything Max had ever seen and intrigued him, he had seen May’s Beautifly before but this Pokémon was slightly different yet wasn’t a Dustox, could he be looking upon a rare Pokémon to this region?

    “Is that a Butterfree?” Max asked.

    “Yes it certainly is, and I was wondering if you’d like to battle it and two of my other Pokémon, as I noticed the Nurse Joy handed you three PokeBalls back?” The trainer casually stated flicking the musky coloured fringe out of his eyes that had a slight curl as if he had recently been wet.

    “Okay then, certainly I’d love to test out my new Pokémon. Roxanne, you okay to judge?”

    “I would love to; now excuse me what was your name?”

    “Oh yea I’m Mathew and I’ve travelled from the Kanto region to compete in the Gyms over here, so I’m sure I’ll battle you soon and take your badge,” the young boy joked stroking his Butterfree that had perched upon his shoulder giving a faint purring sound in its comfort.

    “I wouldn’t be so sure, but let’s start the battle between you and Max. Begin!”

    “Okay Murkrow it’s time to test your skills, come out and battle Butterfree,” Max called tossing the ball towards the sky. The midnight blue wings were the first attributes to break free from the captive pallid light that had a noticeable break in feathers along the tips that were common with male Murkrow, how Max knew this already, he didn’t understand, but recognising his Pokémon immediately was a great way to start their relationship. It cocked its head backwards and rolled it around a few times trying to stretch out its muscles after a day’s rest inside a PokeBall, which it wasn’t yet use to. The ball itself it found to be rather complex but it had always been a wild Pokémon and found perching in trees to be a lot more comfortable, but he knew that with Max it could grow to become better and prove its worth against all Murkrow.

    “Butterfree, let’s start things off with a Whirlwind. That’s sure to prove a difficult move to break free from even for a Flying type.” Although the wings attached to Butterfree weren’t the largest and definitely didn’t seem the most powerful, the gust produced was intolerable for Murkrow as he lost his support and became entangled within the growing twister of wind, continuously being battered by small parts of rubble lifted into the wind. Max now understood why everyone called this the switch out attack as it seemed as if there was no way at all to escape the entrapment.

    “Murkrow we’re going to try and get you out of this so first use your Haze and then follow up with Steel Wing.” Roxanne watched on in ore as the compelling team work began, from just this she could tell how much Max had progressed in recent days and felt a real accomplishment in her teachings. The deep black fog seemed to miraculously slither from Murkrow causing a deep chocking sensation to arouse the throats of everyone. Butterfree was now no longer able to continue its attacks and float above the rising fog just to have a clean breath. Max had once again shown his talent for using a defensive move aggressively and now had the Bug Pokémon sitting right where they wanted it. Even though Murkrow had quite a bit of energy drained he still was able to start a Steel Wing and break through the barrier of miasma he had created. Butterfree’s small eyes described its emotion of horror as all it could do was watch as Murkrow gained with hardened wings ready to strike it down. With one blow they could have the first victory and be closer to a win.

    “Help me, please somebody help me. Help I can’t see,” the wailings cried with the noticeable sound of tears to accompany the panic. Max had no idea who this man was and what was bothering him as the haze still lingered in the clearing, the feelings that had shrouded him earlier on when the news report flashed upon the screen crept back in and he couldn’t help but hyperventilate from fear. He knew just what trouble they had left that boy in yet he still walked away and didn’t put up a fight. How was he supposed to be able to help anyone?

    “It’s alright, I have you, there’s no need to panic anymore,” a familiar voice calmingly soothed as Max could only imagine who it was, “There you go, just sit down here. Now Shuppet, use your Will-o-wisp to burn this haze away.”

    A silhouetted figure of a puppet Pokémon rose through the thick dark vapour that was beginning to distil due to the vast empty space that hung above them. A few flickering flames began to emanate around this particular Pokémon, immediately tackling the obstacle in front of them. Within a short space of time the entire haze created by Murkrow had vanished into thin air like a magic trick, yet in reality and left in its wake was a tall stance business woman wearing a musky green suit that seemed familiar to Max again. Floating alongside her was a Ghost type Pokémon that Max had encountered once before, where he played mischievous tricks upon his sister. The lady looked up and took one glance at Max before opening her mouth:

    “Oh my Max, is that you?”

    *****
    Last edited by harryheart; 7th June 2009 at 10:30 PM.

    Most Recent Chapter - Chapter 31: Don't Forget Me - Posted 26/01/13
    Credits to Sweet May and DanChimchar

    I will pursue You, I will pursue Your presence

  21. #296
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    Cool chapter! First off, this is Bro. 2. I got my own account. Anyway, the battle at the end seemed good and I can't wait to see who the new baby girl/ boy is! In 8 months wouldn't Max and or May be done with what they were doing in their respective regions? Anyway, I can't wait to see who the mysterious person is!! Keep up the great work!
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  22. #297
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    Nice work harryheart, you put a lot into this chapter and it looks great.

    The mystery woman sounds familiar, but at the moment i'm drawing a blank, hopefully i'll figure it out before the next chapter is up.

    Keep up the good work




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  23. #298
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow XD001 View Post
    Cool chapter! First off, this is Bro. 2. I got my own account. Anyway, the battle at the end seemed good and I can't wait to see who the new baby girl/ boy is! In 8 months wouldn't Max and or May be done with what they were doing in their respective regions? Anyway, I can't wait to see who the mysterious person is!! Keep up the great work!
    Hey Bro 2 glad you got your own account. The new baby will be a big plot twist and keep you on your toes but we'll see whether i can pull that off. The way the timing is going at he moment it may take Max 2 years or something concidering what they do in the animé. Right now he's been travelling for 1 month and 1 week.

    You would've all met the mysterious women in the Advanced Generation so think back!

    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Snover View Post
    Nice work harryheart, you put a lot into this chapter and it looks great.

    The mystery woman sounds familiar, but at the moment i'm drawing a blank, hopefully i'll figure it out before the next chapter is up.

    Keep up the good work
    Yay a smilie. I've put so much work into this chapter to start off some plot lines and really develop characters. I wan't able to play arround with Murkrow as I had planned as lots of other things were introduced however I don't think that detracts from the story at all.

    Like I said to Bro 2 you've met the woman in the Advanced Generation!

    Most Recent Chapter - Chapter 31: Don't Forget Me - Posted 26/01/13
    Credits to Sweet May and DanChimchar

    I will pursue You, I will pursue Your presence

  24. #299
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    hehe, may, im gonna save a life but ill be back for lunch.

    other than that, a mistery girl!!!!
    probably maxes ex girlfriend or something.

    no spelling problems other than possibly pokecentre because i call it pokemon center or pc

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  25. #300
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    Nice work here. I enjoyed the battle, but it just so suddenly lapsed into the woman and her Shuppet, that I didn't know what was going on.

    Oh, and I don't think lunch is supposed to be capitalized. True, it is a very importent part of the day, but it is not capitalized.

    Oh, and I don't know her name, but I do remember the mystery woman from the Shuppet episode in AG. I liked her character.

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