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Thread: Today's Lesson (SapphirePearlshipping)

  1. #1
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    Uh-oh, clear the deck, the Captain's written a girl/girl fic! But don't worry, it shouldn't be too terrible...

    Rating: PG-13
    Summary: Sometimes it takes the most uncertain action to make the truth come out.
    Warning: Watch out, there's some light nudity in here!
    Note: This fiction was approved for posting by Chelc.

    ~Today's Lesson - A SapphirePearlshipping (May/Haruka & Dawn/Hikari) Fan-Fiction~

    Hikari wondered just what exactly it was about Haruka that made the younger girl feel… so damn attracted to her. There were so many possibilities floating around in the blue-haired girl’s head that made it so hard to focus on just one. Hikari supposed that the “attraction” wasn’t as romantic as one would guess – it was sort of like a teacher-student thing. But, as that little voice in her head reminded her, that was just another reason to make her seem to be in love with Haruka.

    Hikari shook her head. It didn’t seem like that at all! Did it? Biting her lower lip, Hikari put some thought into it. Haruka did help her out in the last Contest, even though the brunette did win the Ribbon in the end. The older girl didn’t gloat or anything and seemed very pleased with the way Hikari was handling the situation.

    Glancing over at where Haruka was standing now (over talking with Takeshi and Satoshi; it seemed that Satoshi was talking about that Kasumi girl again based on his red face and weird-sounding voice), Hikari felt her stomach do a back-flip as Haruka caught the younger girl’s eye and winked. Face heating up, Hikari stared at her boots. This was ridiculous. Something had to be done… but what?

    The answer came when the four came across the public pool a few yards away from the Contest Hall. Takeshi went slack-faced and started drooling at all the scantily-clad women, which caused Gregguru to pop out of its ball and paralyze its horn-dog owner with a Poison Jab.

    “That’s new.” Commented Haruka, sweatdropping slightly as the purple frog dragged the unconscious Breeder along the asphalt.

    “Well, without your brother or Kasumi, we needed someone to drag him off,” replied Satoshi with a shrug, Pikachu nodding in agreement. “I mean, we can’t finally let him grab some poor woman again… Anyways, are we going swimming?”

    Eventually…

    Hikari thought it was dumb luck that it was only herself and Haruka in the pool. Some random person had challenged Satoshi to a battle, and the idiot accepted, as usual. As for Takeshi… well, Hikari kept an eye out for him, just in case Gregguru’s paralysis effect wore off too soon.

    And so, the two girls went off and changed. The pool wasn’t as crowded as one would expect; there were only a few adults lounging on the beach chairs, a safe distance from the water, which was perfect for a day like this. The sun was boiling hot, and Hikari was surprised everyone still had the skin intact.

    On the other hand, the heat had given Hikari such a shock when she and Haruka were walking over to the pool gate. The brunette was sweating up a storm, and it was staining her outfit. At one point, Hikari could have sworn that she could see a certain bit of female anatomy poking through her friend’s shirt. Of course, that only meant she had to turn away and hide the blush creeping across her face.

    So maybe the pool wasn’t just an excuse to see Haruka show off some skin. But that was a plus, Hikari decided. Sinking down so the water was a few centimeters below her nose, the young girl sighed and wondered if her… attraction to the follow Coordinator was just a crush, or if it was really romance. Sure, Haruka was attractive (Hikari definitely thought so), and she was a great friend.

    But then there was another problem? What if Haruka didn’t feel the same? It would only cause embarrassment for Hikari and drive a deep wedge in their friendship. Hikari sighed again. Straight girls had it easier. Not many girls accepted another girl being in love with them.

    A shriek from Haruka cut Hikari’s thoughts short and her eyes snapped open, scanning the area for the brown-haired girl. When she did find Haruka, the older girl had a bright red face and was holding her arms across her chest in a most curious way.

    “What happened?” Hikari asked, drifting over to her friend, a mix of concern and curiousity rippling in her voice.

    Haruka simply pointed down to her feet, and following the invisible line, Hikari found the source of the problem. Haruka’s swimsuit top had fallen off, and there it lay, underwater, with the shoulder straps torn.

    “Oh…” Hikari dove down slightly and pulled it out, holding it like a dead Rattata, only with more humor than fear. “Any idea how that happened?”

    Haruka shook her head, the red from her face disappearing. “No… but now I have an excuse to get a new swimsuit!” The two girls giggled as they climbed out of the pool, Hikari keeping Haruka’s bare chest from being exposed. Once they were safely in the womens’ restroom, they had to decide what to do.

    “You wouldn’t happen to have a spare top, would you?” Haruka asked, her arms moving up from her chest to her hair to move it away from her face.

    Hikari didn’t answer right away. It was although Haruka’s bust was drawing her eyes there, and only there. Hopefully the brunette wouldn’t notice and Hikari could avert her gaze… or not.

    “I know, I know, I’m a little more developed than you.” Hikari glanced up at Haruka, who was smiling, hands on her hips. “Or most girls our age, come to think of it.”

    Hikari simply blushed, her eyes looking at anywhere besides her friend’s breasts… or hips, or legs, or… damn.

    “But it’s not like I’m getting all the attention.” Haruka added with a laugh. “You must get tons of leers with that skirt.”

    “Not funny, Haruka-san.” Mumbled Hikari, now fidgeting a bit.

    “Sorry.” Haruka turned to the mirror above the sink before speaking again. “You ever find yourself attracted to another girl?” She asked.

    Hikari was caught completely off guard and stared at the other girl in surprise. “W-what??”

    “Have you ever found yourself attracted to another girl?” repeated Haruka, turning back to face Hikari, hands on her hips again.

    “Um… er… w-why?” Hikari managed, the blush refusing to go away this time. She met eyes with Haruka, and the gaze held. “I-is there a girl Haruka-san likes?”

    “I guess…” The brunette replied, stepping closer to Hikari. “I haven’t known her very well, but I like her very much. She’s a bit unsure with herself, but does very well.”

    Hikari felt her heart sink. So much for having Haruka to herself. She might as well ask. “W-what’s her name?”

    Haruka smiled, gently, warmly, stepping even closer to Hikari now. Then she leaned in so that their lips were almost touching… “Her name is Hikari-chan.”

    The blue-haired girl’s heart soared, and she gasped in delight. Before she could say anything, though, Haruka had already seized her lips in a soft, delicate kiss. Then everything went fuzzy and Hikari thought she had practically melted. But that would explain how she ended up in Haruka’s arms. “Wh-what…?”

    “That,” Haruka stated simply, eyes gleaming. “Is an invitation. An invitation to be mine. Does Hikari-chan accept?”

    “Um…” Hikari nodded, since she was too overjoyed to speak. She blushed and smiled as Haruka did the same. “W-wait… what about your bathing suit?”

    Haruka glanced down at her exposed bust, then shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll change, and we’ll find the boys… but our secret, okay?”

    Hikari nodded again, and once Haruka emerged from one of the stalls, the young girl managed to snag another kiss off the brunette. “That,” Hikari said, now sporting a broad smile despite the increasing redness spreading across her cheeks. “Was for your help with the last Contest.”

    Then the two looked at each other, and burst out laughing at how ridiculous that last phrase was. But it didn’t really matter, because words can only say so much.

    Fin

    ~~~~~

    Comments? Criticism? Say what'd you like, but no flaming, please. Because I know people who really know how to hurt.

    Hope you enjoyed it regardless!

    - Cap D. Blue
    Last edited by Cap D. Blue; 17th May 2008 at 9:15 AM.

  2. #2
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    FIRST REVIEWER OH YEAH.

    ...um. yeah. Anyways, SapphirePearlshipping. =D It's cute! I liked this. I never thought of Haruka being the one to initiate the relationship before, so that was different. I liked it all the same. I loled at the Satoshi/Kasumi part, btw. You had nice descriptions and everything, too...yeah. You know how horrible I am at reviewing fics. XD

    “Um… er… w-why?” Hikari managed, the blush refusing to go away this time. She met eyes with Haruka, and the glaze held. “I-is there a girl Haruka-san likes?”
    I liked that part for some reason. So cute. XD Good job! There really needs to be more fics of this.
    Currently a little busy. I'll respond to all messages when I can.

  3. #3
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    @ Chelc: I had a feeling you'd like this. And yeah, I couldn't resist throwing PS in. =P And yeah, I think there should be more shoujo-ai fics around. They're always a good read.

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    I'm reviewing... because I can?! xD

    I thought this oneshot was pretty sweet. I think it's likely that I'm starting to get converted to SapphirePearlshipping. I thought it was great how you portrayed Dawn's side of the story by letting us in with her thoughts and stuff. Your description was done just fine; it's not too simple but it doesn't go overboad, either. You're getting better each time, Blue-kun! I don't think I caught any mistakes, either, so that's a good sign. This oneshot was an enjoyable read; loved the part where the two kissed. Very flirty way of starting a relationship, I must say. ;D The title also fits the story, too. :3

    I also adored the Pokeshipping reference in here. I burst out laughing when you described him having a weird tone when he spoke of Kasu-chan; that is just... adorable! xD

    Way to go, Blue-kun! Very much like this one. I get a feeling this will attract the other SPshippers. xD

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    ~Mist~: I pretty much had the perspective in mind when the inspiration stuck. Hikari seemed like the right point of view, because then it would have that one-sided aspect that people seem to enjoy. The kiss part was very fun to write, I admit. =P And I had trouble with the title at first, but then a certain someone read a certain line and... there it is. And yes, I had a feeling you'd enjoy the PS reference. And I think that if I need to get more readers, I need a banner or something to advertise... it's hard being a writer sometimes. =/

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  6. #6
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    I didn't know you were writting fanfictions, Capt. XD

    Cute. The only thing that bugged me was that you implied Hikari's attraction to Haruka was completely physical - there wasn't much reference to how she responded to her personality or emotions.

    Apart from that, it was an easy-going, fun, flirty read. I really enjoyed your writing style. Good job!

    Take care,

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    Water Spirit: You'd be surprised at what I do in my free time. I have written a few successful fictions, anyways. =P Yeah, I had a feeling that would be a problem. I guess I should've mentioned something about their interactions. Damn. Ah, well. Thanks for reading!

    ashds: I'm improving the forums one small step at a time, I guess. Glad you enjoyed it!

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    I love it! The Pokéshipping reference made me smile, and when Haruka confessed... I was going mad. Cute, too. All of it was, in a weird yuri-ish sorta way. I love yuri fics. And before the accusations start flooding in, I'm completely, totally 100% straight. Got it? LMAO

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    HikariTajiri: You can still be straight and enjoy yuri. Trust me, a lot of my friends (even my girlfriend) like yuri. =P Glad you enjoyed it!

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  10. #10
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    This caught my eye...Since it's SapphirePearlShipping, a OneShot (meaning I can spend a few minutes to review it) and it's from you (meaning I'm curious as to read something from someone as renowned as you ^^)

    yuri, when it's well-written and cute, makes my day ^^'
    Something close to fanservice, but not at all that, since it's a caring relationship. And the way Dawn was nervous all around her made me smile

    Quote Originally Posted by Cap D. Blue View Post
    The brunette was sweating up a storm, and it was staining her outfit. At one point, Hikari could have sworn that she could see a certain bit of female anatomy poking through her friend’s shirt. Of course, that only meant she had to turn away and hide the blush creeping across her face.
    Just like that

    Quote Originally Posted by Cap D. Blue View Post
    It was although Haruka’s bust was drawing her eyes there, and only there. Hopefully the brunette wouldn’t notice and Hikari could avert her gaze… or not.
    Heh...yeah This is what makes Dawn ships adorable : writing her allows for such awkward situations xD

    Quote Originally Posted by Cap D. Blue View Post
    “I know, I know, I’m a little more developed than you.” Hikari glanced up at Haruka, who was smiling, hands on her hips. “Or most girls our age, come to think of it.”

    Hikari simply blushed, her eyes looking at anywhere besides her friend’s breasts… or hips, or legs, or… damn.
    Damn indeed But I don't see anyone complaining xD


    The end was almost abrupt on the other hand. I feel you could have develloped that (a bit) more....

    Other than that, content was funny and cute, just what I needed ^^
    And your writing style is very "laid back" I feel like saying xD Since you even put Dawn's reactions in the first person, like
    Quote Originally Posted by Cap D. Blue View Post
    Hikari simply blushed, her eyes looking at anywhere besides her friend’s breasts… or hips, or legs, or… damn.
    or with the gaze part, which makes the reader more comfortable, feeling directly what she feels. So that was nice ^^'

    Yeah, overall, good stuff, but maybe a something missing story-wise itself

    4 Stars !
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    shadow_shipper: I'm surprised and honored for you to call me "renowned", but moving on... The fan-service one-shot was what I was aiming for, because I already have too many chapter fictions on my hand as is, so I could spend a good few hours on something like this. I can be laid-back in my writing, but only because I feel that it helps me make the words flow better and keep readers hooked. As for what's missing, I know just what: an actual plot! Thanks for the review!

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    Wooo, now I'm actually happy I read that. Haha, it made me happy. And it was written so well. :]

    I had to LOL at the part when Haruka goes "I know, I know, I'm a little more developed than you ...well actually most girls our age." SO TRUE. But it's great. xD

    Hikari's little crush and fear of Haruka finding out that she likes her was so cute. I could just imagine Hikari being like that. You kept them in character, but also was able to add so much stuff that wouldn't happen in the show (unfortunately...)

    The ending made me happy. Wheee. GirlxGirl. HarukaxHikari. <33
    NICEE.

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    Kit Kat: I have the ability: to keep characters in character but add my own little quirks to 'em. But seriously, I could see this as an actual episode (with a few added things, of course). Glad you enjoyed it. =P

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    That was awesome!! X3 You're a very good writer. I enjoyed reading it. Haruka's top coming off was a surprise. XD But this fic kept me interested. Be proud *prone to hate reading* XDD
    I'm tempted to even draw a scene from it. Good work. -claps-
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  15. #15
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    Wow.. just wow that was a great fic. i wish i was a fly on the wall for that one.

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    Endless Summer: First off, lemme say that reading's good for you. And about Haruka's top missing, I wanted to add something that would get people interested, but nothing too bad. I'm glad it works, though. =P

    Glacier99: Speechless? ;P Anyways, I doubt you'd survive very long: flyswatters and all that.

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  17. #17
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    I loved it! Well written, good description, good diolouge, good plot.

    I especially liked how it was Hikari that was being focused on. Usually in sapphirepearl fics it's Haruka that's focused on. That was an applealing twist!

    and the ending...it wasn't corny or rushed. it was great!

    you're a great writer and I hope to see more from you in the future!

    ~riolulu

  18. #18
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    riolulu: Thanks for reading. For some reason, I figured that in this case, Haruka would be a little more outgoing than Hikari. It just seemed to work, and apparently, it did. =P

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    oh, I can't believe I'm reading this, especially with the nudity reference, lol xP

    But I sorta like sapphirepearlshipping, their friendship at least, is really cute, so why not read a fic for it? Plus, I like the title =D

    Anyways, wow, that was adorable! The description was just right and yet, it seemed so innocent, especially on Dawn's side. Her fumbling and being nervous around May was a nice touch. All of your characters seemed in character to me, but just like others have stated, I couldn't imagine May being the one to initiate the relationship, though it seemed to fit in to the one-shot well, so no complaints here.

    The pokeshipping reference was nice and was also nicely put in.

    Also, I love the ending sentence; a perfect way to tie it all up!

    “Sorry.” Haruka turned to the mirror above the sink before speaking again. “You ever find yourself attracted to another girl?” She asked.

    Hikari was caught completely off guard and stared at the other girl in surprise. “W-what??”
    I really couldn't not quote this part because it's my favorite part of the fanfic, lol.

    Anyways, in conclusion, like everyone has said, very, very cute one-shot. Hope to see more fanfics from you, Blue =D
    Last edited by Uzamaki Hinata; 28th August 2008 at 3:30 PM.
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  20. #20
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    I'm pretty fond of Sapphireshipping, so this was a must read. ^_^ I enjoyed the fic very much and the reference to pokeshipping was cool. I found the fic to be very funny as well. The emotions and detail on Dawn's feelings were a nice touch to the fic as well, so that's a definite plus.

    Haruka smiled, gently, warmly, stepping even closer to Hikari now. Then she leaned in so that their lips were almost touching… “Her name is Hikari-chan.”

    The blue-haired girl’s heart soared, and she gasped in delight. Before she could say anything, though, Haruka had already seized her lips in a soft, delicate kiss. Then everything went fuzzy and Hikari thought she had practically melted. But that would explain how she ended up in Haruka’s arms. “Wh-what…?”

    “That,” Haruka stated simply, eyes gleaming. “Is an invitation. An invitation to be mine. Does Hikari-chan accept?”

    “Um…” Hikari nodded, since she was too overjoyed to speak. She blushed and smiled as Haruka did the same. “W-wait… what about your bathing suit?”

    Haruka glanced down at her exposed bust, then shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll change, and we’ll find the boys… but our secret, okay?”

    Hikari nodded again, and once Haruka emerged from one of the stalls, the young girl managed to snag another kiss off the brunette. “That,” Hikari said, now sporting a broad smile despite the increasing redness spreading across her cheeks. “Was for your help with the last Contest.”

    Then the two looked at each other, and burst out laughing at how ridiculous that last phrase was. But it didn’t really matter, because words can only say so much
    One word: CUTE! I loved the ending. I liked the pasrt wen she said "Her name is Hikari!" That was a very nice effect.

    So overall, I am pleased with this one-shot.


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  21. #21
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    Hmm, an SapphirePearlShipping fic... Might as well review it...

    Cap D. Blue, excellent work! I'm not a fan of this ship myself, for I prefer Advanceshipping, but it's very good nonetheless.

    Making may a little more forward than Dawn was a stroke of genius.

    I'm sorry for the short review, but I suck at reviewing.
    What Happens..., an AmourShipping fic.
    Read it if you want, I won't force you.
    Also, read my Amourshipping drabble, about Amourshipping.

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  22. #22
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    I love it...A really cute and adorable One-shot excelent job!!

  23. #23

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    This was a very nice and sweet story. I think this shipping between May and Dawn is cute. In my Pokemon Fanficion.Net I'm shipping them also.

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