Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Remember me (Ikarishipping PG)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    1,372

    Default Remember me (Ikarishipping PG)

    New to some but to other i might not be. hello meh name is midnightjewelz. anyway this is my new fic. please enjoy.

    Shippings in this story
    Ikarishipping
    Advanceshipping
    Oldrivalshipping


    The last two shippings might come a little later in the story because the first few chapters are telling the past and how Dawn and Paul and their feelings to each other.

    ~midnightjewelz.
    __________________________________________________ ______________

    Remember me
    A Ikarishipping chapter fic



    How does it feel to lose the only thing precious to you? The only thing that makes you wake up each morning and the last thing you before you close your eyes? Even worse that the only one you loved in your life is now gone from you and their feelings are gone…like dust. Like nothing even happened.


    Chapter one
    A New beginning


    It was just another warm summer day in Hearthome. Paul, a young pokemon trainer was trainer with his Electabuzz in a local park.

    “That’s it Electabuzz!” Paul called out. “Now let’s finish it off with thunder punch!”
    “Paul!”

    The young pokemon trainer looked over his shoulder and found it was his newest rival Ash. Ash was a trainer who had been though the four regions including the Kanto battle frontier. After looking at him Paul put his attention back at the battle.

    “Paul listen to me!” Ash called out his rival.
    “I don’t need to talk to a rookie trainer like you” Paul said without even turning to face Ash’s direction.
    “Will you listen if I mention Dawn?”

    Paul didn’t reply after that. The young pokemon trainer looked to the ground and clenched his fist. His tighten his grip as hard as he can before releasing his grip.

    “Let’s finish this later” Paul declared. “Electabuzz return” Paul commanded as he got out Electabuzz’s poke ball from his belt.

    When the electric type pokemon was back into it’s poke ball Pal returned Electabuzz’s back into his belt.

    “What do you want?” Paul said as he still had his back facing Ash.
    “It’s about Dawn” Ash said.
    “I already know that” Paul said as he turned around to face his rival. “Tell me what it is with Dawn”
    “She is in critical condition in the hospital” Ash told Paul. “She needs you”
    “Is that all?” Paul asked. “Well that was a waste of time” Paul said as he put his bag over his shoulder looking like he didn’t care at all.
    “Didn’t you hear me Paul?” Ash yelled. “Dawn could die!

    Three simply words stopped Paul completely. He just stood a few steps ahead of Ash with his back facing him.

    “Don’t you care about her?” Ash asked. “Not what after you two had been?”
    “First thing there was never a we with Dawn and I” Paul said as he started to walk away from Ash.
    “Doesn’t matter” Ash replied. “She could die and all you can do is walk away like nothing happened?” Ash asked. “I know you treat your pokemon different from me but to treat Dawn like this is just plain mean. I mean she cared about you Paul!” Ash yelled.
    “Fine!” Paul called out. “I will come. Just for Dawn” Paul said as he walked towards Ash’s direction and walk to the hospital.

    The two walked all the way to the Hearthome hospital where Dawn was. When they got in front of the building the sliding doors opened as the two entered. Ash showed where Dawn was while Paul was right behind. He watched injured people getting into new rooms while the dead where getting taken out and inside one room Paul saw the dead man‘s family weeping and morning on his bed. Soon both pokemon trainers got the bluenette’s room. Paul’s eye’s widen with shock. He saw Dawn with a thick bandage around her head and bandaids on her face and her chest still had some blood marks.

    “Did this really happen?” Paul asked himself.

    Next to her was her best friend May. A young coordinator from Petalburg. Both girls had the same dream and both met at the Wallace Cup in Sinnoh. She was holding Dawn’s hand as tears ran down her face. May looked at her unconscious friend and then looked at the door and found it was Ash and Paul. Ash walked over to May and embrace her as May cried in his arms.

    “She hasn’t woken up yet” May cried.
    “Dawn will wake up” Ash replied to May. “I know she will” he muttered.

    Then something tragic happened that they all didn’t expect. The monitor’s screen started to make a sound that they didn’t want to hear. They all looked on the monitor’s screen and saw a never ending thin green line fill the bottom of the screen. May was still in Ash’s arms.

    “Dawn no!” May yelled as she tried to break free from Ash’s grip. “don’t die on us!”

    Meanwhile Paul was still at the entrance of the door. Looking at the unconscious bluenette. Soon doctors and nurses came bursting into the room pushing Paul aside. He watched as they tried to revive the young girl.

    “No” Paul thought. “This can’t be happening”

    Two months ago…

    Ash, Dawn and Brock were on their journey in the region Sinnoh. The three where at Sunny shore city. All three were at the beach enjoying themselves. Dawn was in her yellow two piece with gold small ribbons on each side. She had her Pilpup playing in the water with her while Ash and Brock were at the golden sandy beach playing beach volleyball. Meanwhile Paul a pokemon trainer like Ash had just arrived at the town. He saw the three playing at the shores of Sunny shore. He saw a girl in a yellow two piece. at first he couldn’t tell who it was until she turned his way.

    “Is that Dawn?” Paul asked himself.
    “Is that Paul?” Dawn said as she put her hand over her eyes to block the suns rays from getting into her eyes. “Hey it is” Dawn said. “Hey Ash, Brock come over here!” Dawn called out to her friends.
    “What is it?” Ash asked as he got to the scene.
    “Look it’s Paul” Dawn pointed to Paul’s direction.
    “And it is to” Ash replied. “Well I’m going back to Pikachu” Ash told his friends.
    “Wait for me” Brock called out as he started to chase after Ash.

    Soon it was only Dawn looking at Paul. She just waved at him and ran back to join the others.

    “Did she just waved at me?” Paul asked. “That is weird of her”

    Paul just watched her ran after her friends and soon after he walked off to the poke centre.

    When Dawn reached her friends she found them starting to eat Brock’s cooking.

    “What took you so long?” Ash asked as he took a bite from his sandwich.
    “Nothing” Dawn said as she took a seat a seat next to Ash. “I just waved at Paul”
    “You waving at him?” Ash asked. “Sounds like you like him” Ash teased. “I mean you wouldn’t wave at someone like that. I mean you never waved at him before”
    “Mmm….me?!” Dawn said in shocked. “Me like Paul?” Dawn asked and soon end up cracking up laughing. “What a joke. Anyway what do you know about love?”
    “Well….” Ash said as he scratched the back of his head. “Not much” Ash smiled.
    “You mean nothing at all” Brock added.
    “Hey!” Ash called out.
    “But it is true” Brock replied. “I mean when was the last time you actually grew feelings for a girl?”
    “And when was the last time you were pulled by the ear because of you flirting skills?” Ash said. “And you talk like you know a lot about love. Look at you. Even I did grew feelings for a girl I know I would beg like I’m desperate for a girl”
    “He does got a point” Dawn replied with her mouth full. “I still don’t know how Ash deal with you back at his start of his journey”
    “It took a long time to get use to Dawn” Ash replied. “Back in Hoenn I remember Max pulling his ear. I even remember May doing it once”
    “Wow” Dawn said in surprise.

    Soon the lunch Brock prepared was all gone and the three friends all got back into their normal clothes and started to head to the poke centre.

    End of Chapter one

    __________________________________________________ _______________
    Authors notes

    Well what do you think? please R&R! ^_^
    Last edited by Midnightmoon6o2; 1st November 2008 at 8:31 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    1,372

    Default

    No reviews? FTW?? anyway i might as well continue.


    Chapter two
    Sentimental values


    The three friends arrived to their destination within a few minutes. The three all went to the desk where nurse Joy was. They asked for a room to stay in. nurse Joy gave them a room to stay in. when they got the key to their room they all headed upstairs. In their room there was two bunk beds with navy blue bed sheets to cover. When they got there they started to unpack their bags.

    “Hey Ash aren’t you suppose to unpack your bag right now?” Dawn asked.
    “I’ll do that later” Ash replied. “I have training to do” Ash told his friends before running out the door.
    “The typical Ash” Dawn sighed.

    So Brock and Dawn were the only people left in their room. Dawn had already finish unpacking and laid on the bed. When she did Ash’s bag which was on the bed fell to the ground and his items fell right out and spread all over the carpet. Dawn quickly got up and put Ash’s items back into his bag until she came across something.

    “What’s this?” Dawn asked as she showed Brock a half pink contest ribbon.
    “Well that is Ash’s contest ribbon he won back at Kanto with May. To be honest I didn’t think he would have that still with him” Brock replied.
    “Wait. Ash won a contest?” Dawn asked. “Then where did the other half of this ribbon go?”
    “It went to May. A friend of Ash”
    “Wow” Dawn replied. “I never thought Ash was interested into contest”
    “That’s Ash” Brock replied as he zipped his empty bag. “You can never know what to expect from Ash”
    “Hey guys I‘m back” Ash replied as he opened the dor to let himself in with Pikachu on his shoulder.

    Then Ash saw Dawn holding his half of the ribbon he won with May.

    “Dawn?” he asked. “Why are you holding that?”
    “This?” she asked. “Nothing. Anyway why do you have this. I mean what can you do with a half contest ribbon?”
    “It might be useless to you but it is important to me. This is the only thing that reminds me of my best friend May” Ash replied as he took his ribbon out of Dawn’s hands. “Next time can you not go though my stuff?” Ash asked kindly.
    “Yeah” Dawn said as she got off her knees.
    “Thanks” Ash replied as he put the ribbon back into his bag.

    Ash slowly zipped up his bag and sighed after. Then he got his bag and put it back on top of his bed.

    “Anyway you guys hungry?” Ash asked.
    “Not really” Dawn replied.
    “Same over here” Brock replied.
    “Well you guys can find me in the cafeteria” Ash told his friends as he ran out of the room leaving his friends behind.
    “The typical Ash” Dawn repeated ending with a sigh.

    *~*~*~*

    Darkness had already covered the city in darkness. Everyone was asleep except Dawn. She had Ash’s other half of the ribbon. She was looking at it carefully. She was at the balcony looking at it.

    “Why does Ash need you?” She asked herself. “I mean your only a half ribbon. Guess I will never understand sentimental values” Dawn sighed as she got back inside and returned the ribbon back into Ash’s bag.

    As Dawn returned the ribbon something else fell from the trainer’s bag. It was a photo. Dawn picked the object up to her face height. Since she couldn’t see the photo in the dark she went near the window so the light of the moon could make the photo brighter and Dawn could see who was in the photo.
    When the light of the moon hit the photo Dawn could see four people in it. Ash, Brock and two other people she didn’t recognized. The was a young boy around eight years old. He had glasses and black short hair. He had a lime colour t-shirt with black shorts. Then there was a young brunette girl. She looked around the same age as her. She had a red bandana with a white poke ball design on it. She had a red top with a white skirt underneath with black short shorts with a yellow waist bag lying on her waist.

    “So…” Dawn said. “This must be May” Dawn said as she looked closer into the picture. “She looks cute and pretty” Dawn told herself. “But who is this young boy?”

    Dawn thought for awhile. Thinking to who this young boy Ash travelled in his previous journey.

    “Oh well” Dawn said as she shrugged her shoulders. “It doesn’t really matter anyway” the young bluenette said as she returned the photo back into Ash’s bag.

    Soon after she went to her bed and went to sleep.

    End of chapter two

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    2,075

    Default

    Well, plot-wise, this is very different compared to other fics on ff. The whole hospital thing reminded me of a hospital soap drama that I just watched on the TV.

    A lot of references to the ribbon in chapter two, which I assume will kick in the advanceshipping. Brock and Ash seem to be very much in character here. The dialouge is very average and sounds realistic. I think the description and style can be fleshed out a lot more. Also the puntuation in the quotes can be improved.

    Other than that, I would say an OK start here, just flesh it out more. This seems to be going to a good path with much filed Drama involved.


    ☆ Maya Fey: Ace Pokemon Trainer
    Carry On, BlisseyThe Other King☆
    Advancers Tumblr
    Banner by Sworn Metalhead at Dćdric Design ✠

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Canada, eh?
    Posts
    458

    Default

    well some of the description is a little rough, but i got the main idea. I thought the story was really good tho *waits impatiently for may to show up* good job so far!
    [img]http://i41.*******.com/161xsaq.png[/img]
    Credit to HikariTajiri - Thank you very much!

    Shadow disappeared off the face of the earth.

    Paired with Sonic Boom, twins with Pearl's Perap

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Somewhere In This Galaxy
    Posts
    40

    Default

    Update soon!!!! That was good...why was Dawn hurt?
    [CENTER]~earlymorninglight12~

    My FanFiction Account

    Opposites Attract: Ikarishipping!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •