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Thread: Umbrella (Contestshipping)

  1. #1

    Default Umbrella (Contestshipping)

    This story is loosely based on true events that has happened to me, hope you all enjoy this random one-shot! This is also my first fan-fic, so if it's not that good, I'm sorry for wasting your time, but constructive criticism is welcome!

    Btw, this is from May’s point of view and there’s a hint of both pokeshipping and contestshipping.
    Edit: O yea, forgot to mention, it's rated PG

    Umbrella

    It was recess time at Petalburg Intermediate, rain was lightly falling down as I stood underneath my favorite red, pokeball patterned umbrella watching my best friends Ash Ketchum and Misty Waterflower playing in the rain.

    They’re literally dancing in the rain together! Why won’t they just get together already?” I just shook my head and rolled my eyes in amusement at the scene in front of me. “Although, I wish I could be with someone like that…"

    Then all of a sudden, I felt the body heat of another person “What the -?! Who’s under my umbrella with me?” As I turned my head, I saw the face of no other than Drew Hayden, a new student in my year that transferred from LaRousse Intermediate. Misty had introduced Drew to me earlier this year after befriending him in their History class. Drew came to be a bit arrogant towards me and loves to tease me endlessly. Which is odd considering he’s never like that around Misty or Ash or any of his fangirls he quickly obtained within the first few months being here…

    “Hey! Why are you under my umbrella with me?” I asked.

    Smirking, Drew replied, “Isn’t it obvious? It’s raining, and I don’t want to get wet, so I’m sharing the umbrella with you.”

    I hotly replied, “Why don’t you use your OWN umbrella if you don’t want to get wet?!”

    Smirking again, Drew answered, “You’re not using your eyes are you? I didn’t BRING an umbrella, so I decided I’ll share the umbrella space with you since you so conveniently had it opened right as I came by to greet you and Misty.”

    I answered in a huff “Fine…be that way.” It was then I noticed the proximity of our bodies and faces, we were only a few inches apart from each other. I blushed, which fortunately was hidden by my already slightly red face from the coldness of the wind.

    Then I cursed the smallness of my umbrella, “Why did my umbrella have to be SO small!? Maybe I can convince Misty and Ash to join me under here to make things less awkward for me

    “Hey Misty! Ash! Do you guys want to join me under here!?” I yelled.

    Both Misty and Ash yelled back, “NO WAY!!” And they ran off to another part of the school, laughing a long the way.

    Crud. Thanks for leaving me guys...O well, it probably would’ve made things worse for me if Ash and Misty decided to start fighting again.

    Silence followed as Drew and I continued standing underneath my umbrella. I threw furtive glances to see if he was just as uncomfortable as I was. He wasn’t, he seemed to be enjoying it!

    How can he just stand there like that knowing how close we are together!? Maybe he’s doing this on purpose, probably for his own enjoyment of my torture! Well, I’m going to try and get him out from under here!

    “Um…Drew? Don’t you think this umbrella is a little…small?” I asked nervously.

    “Nah, not really,” Drew said nonchalantly.

    Dammit! Why are you acting nervous May!? Get a grip and tell him to get out! It’s your umbrella!

    “Uh…you know, my umbrella is slightly broken right there.” I pointed at the slightly bent piece of metal protruding from the umbrella’s structure.

    “It’s not that bad,” Drew replied smirking, still not moving.

    I mentally kicked myself. “What in the world was that?! ‘My umbrella’s slightly broken.’ That’s not a way to get him out! Why am I acting so nervous!?

    Another voice came in, sounding eerily like Drew, “You don’t want Drew to leave because you’re enjoying it, aren’t you?

    My blush deepened and before I could refute, the bell rang.

    Drew turned to me, “Well, that’s the bell, I’ll catch you at lunch ‘k?”

    “Um…right.” I said, my blush still on my cheeks.

    “Well, that is, if you don’t engorge yourself with food first!” Drew chuckled.

    I frowned and exclaimed “I do NOT engorge myself with food! In fact I…” I was cut off by a rose in my face. “Where in the world did that come from?

    “I do appreciate you letting me be under your umbrella with you, and I thank you, see you later May.” Drew gave his two-finger salute and left for his next class.

    I stood there dumbfounded.

    “What in the world just happened?” I whispered to myself, holding the rose close to my face.

    Another bell rang, signaling the end of passing period.

    "Oh no!!! I'm going to be late for Art!" I exclaimed, running towards the Art classroom.
    Last edited by HeartlessBlueAngel448; 3rd November 2008 at 1:59 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    At work
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    Huh? It just ended? This is horrible if it's a one-shot. A one-shot needs to close itself. If anything, the ending opened the story for more chapters. I say, add more chapters and make this a story. If this is a chapter, it's a great start. If this is a one-shot, it stinks. That's the honest truth.

    ~Ayra~
    "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevent, it is what you do with the gift of life, that determines who you are." -Mewtwo
    "The only thing we can be is ourselves, we can't be someone else, and someone else can't be us." -Kelly Smith
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Glendale, LA, California
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    22

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    It's a really good fic. Although I agree with Ayra. It does need more

    chapters. It's not exactly bad but try putting more effort. It's not a

    perfect one-shot , but a pretty good start. Like the fic. Try putting more

    chapters okay ^^?
    Life is full
    Of pain
    You cry, you smile,
    You suffer
    Fighting for a loved one
    Is full of pain
    Does it matter?




    Love hurts
    But it's a feeling that people find
    AMAZING

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    Mudkip-Pikachu Swamp
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    this story is cute!! luv it!! but...i wish it wasn't a one shot. you should seriously add more chapters ^^
    it would be more fun anyway! more chapters! more chapters! yay~! (and if you turn it into a story, add me to the pm list ^^)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    In Teto's Territory =D
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    Well It was a very good fan-fic but it will be more interesting if it has chapters than one-shot but its good anyway!


    We were Strngers Starting out on a journey
    Never dreaming What we'd have to go through

    Now here we are And I'm suddenly standing
    At the beggining with you....♥
    Thank you Sweet May for the banner

  6. #6

    Default

    im quite surprised how much people enjoyed this story and since people want me to post more chapters, i will ^^

    i just need some time to come up with the next few chapters and i probably won't update that regularly because of school, college apps, and everything else that goes on in my life D:

    so until then, stay tuned for the next chapter!

    PM list
    kiara911

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