Um, ok...WOW! I was searching for good fics and I noticed this thread had a lot of views so I took a look inside and was pulled right in! I got so hooked, I stayed up most of last night reading it and I finished what you have so far today.
I just love everything about this fic and I love you for writing it! Paul is probably my favorite character in the anime because he's so mysterious. I love how you made a background story for him. I really tried to find something to critique so I could give a constructive review but I couldn't.
The anime only explains in one episode where Paul battles Brandon ANYTHING about Paul's past at all. I love that you gave Paul a reason to be so grumpy: it's in his genes, he has a deceased mother, he inherited her disease, and he has a broken family. Ash has a happy-go-lucky life (love how you made him as kind of a villian almost) so he doesn't understand why Paul is so mean. He just jumps to conclusions and constantly lectures Paul. I always hated Ash's lectures in the anime, it got so annoying!
And btw, you made me love Conway. You made him sweet. Instead of the sneaky perv we see him as in the anime, he has a genuine love for Dawn. He's hilarious, too. You almost killed me with laughter when he started talking like Yoda.
You also did really well in mixing the events of the anime with your own story. I noticed you were keeping in mind what was happening in the anime as you wrote your fic. That's kind of what I did with my fic. I'm having Ash fight the Elite Four before we even know if he wins the Sinnoh League in the anime. Though it's mostly about a hypothetical final episode of the Pokemon anime (at the rate it's going, however, the anime will probably never end lol!)
So anyway, that's just my thoughts and a long way of asking you to add me to your PM List. I also have a great idea for a Fanart I could do for your fic if you want me to. Keep up the great work!