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    Default Signup Review Thread

    This Event or Product is fully endorsed by Serebii or his cronies


    As the RPG area moves on through Sppf, I have noticed a certain well... pattern with how some people are making their signups. Well let's just say they are barely meeting quality, heck even I'm one of the people contributing to this fact. And well it just seems to irk me how people are just doing this.

    So I came up with this idea, that we could showcase a bunch of great RPG signups so that everybody could see and learn how to create better quality signups. So this is what it has come down to, a thread where you can post your signup and get it evaluated. Helpful samaritans, people you know people you don't. We're all one RPG community and we should help eachother out! Everybody has a diffrent perspective on things, and with the helpful people in this thread we could make that signup ten times better! (Not saying your signup is bad, however in this thread it's possible to improve on perfection!)

    The Aspects Of Reviewing, What are you gonna Review? How Are You Going To Do It?

    RPG Signups generally have three areas on which you are going to review no matter what. The Physical Description of the character, the character's personality (How they act, talk etc.) and the character's personal history. These must be in a signup, or else it will not count as one. There are various other things that you can add in a signup, this depends on the RPG which you are planning on being in. If you are joining a Pokemon RPG, you're proabably going to have a pokemon somewhere in your Signup.

    When you review in this thread you are trying to help the person out. To effectively help the people in this thread out your review should cover all of their signup. It should explain what is good in the signup, what could be bad or unrealistic in the signup and generally what you think about it.

    First off a tip when reviewing. Tone makes all the diffrence, the way yo present your speech can give mixed messages to the recipient. If you act rash and rude, it's going to look a lot more like a flame then a review. However you can't sugercoat a truth that the signup may be lacking, the secret is a structured mix of both. A way of stating the lacking parts without being rude, but not being overly nice... Constructive Criticsm.

    It occured to me that the most reviewing that you are going to proabably give the most tips on is the history. The best way for people to learn is a visual aid, so I'm going to give you some examples. Here is a history that I created in around five minutes, as you can see it really isn't that great. So let's poke at it a bit eh? We can make this a whole lot better, what better way then helpful advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Old History
    Nicholas never recieved very much attention as a child because his sister had a mental disability. One night he yelled at her because she wasnt understanding anything and his parents got mad at him because he knew better so.. he decided to take a walk to calm himself down.While he was on his walk he accidently ran into a taillow's territory and before he knew about 3 taillow were pecking at his arm it was all madness until a trainer with a strong bannete game and wiped them all out. The trainer then called 911. Nicholas woke up in the hospital the next day.
    The trainer visited him and told him " If youre going to go and be in such dangerous areas you might as well have a pokemon with you. The following year he went through rehabilitation.

    After the incident Nicholas tried to go through proper channels to get a pokemon. When he heard of this project, he lept for joy and filled the application. Nicholas grew up in Pastoria city.
    Now we'll drag this down through diffrent parts.

    Nicholas never recieved very much attention as a child because his sister had a mental disability.
    This is the start of a classic Gary-Stu syndrome. This starts the path for a character that will proabably act really angsty or emo during the roleplay. Unless the parents are bad parents (which I wouldn't suggest, for this is another Gary-Stu past) both children would proabably get the same amount of attention, or else the parents would've tried. He might be jealous of other kids, because they have normal siblings but that's completely off the point. It would be wise to change this, if you would like a better history for your character.

    That was certainly helpful wasn't it? Now let's look at THE BAD REVIEW hur, hur.

    First off that doesn't make sense at all. So his sister was "Special" why would that drag away any attention? You're making a completely bratty character and you're not going to get into a RPG with a bad history.

    How does this help the person at all? The person has completely made a mockery of the character without offering any advice on how to improve? This reviewer has an acid tongue, and an extremely pessimistic view. Hey, we know that this history isn't the greatest but we've just kicked the person while they're already down. This is practically a flame, and isn't a great way to review at all. Now we need to continue on with the demo.

    One night he yelled at her because she wasnt understanding anything and his parents got mad at him because he knew better so.. he decided to take a walk to calm himself down.
    OMG!!! I feel so bad for him his parents are totaly meen!! He's certainyl smart to calm down though.

    Ok, perhaps I may have exaggerated with all of the exclimation marks and other grammatical errors, however this still isn't a good way to review. In this style of reviewing you're almost like a nanny. Everything you have said is praise, mindless praise. Heck, it's not even a review! Don't encourage stuff like this, it kinda makes you look a bit newbish. I mean, I personally disdain from the use of personal comments in a review, and this is certainly not how you pull them off! If you want to add personal notes, please do so in a manner which doesn't completely sidetrack from the review.

    One would think that after being with his sister for so many years that he would get used to her tendencies? You should proabably explain why he blew up at her in a diffrent way then "she wouldn't understand", perhaps she didn't but there's certainly a diffrent way on how to describe that. Exactly he knew better, so his parents yelled at him. He went for a walk doesn't really cut it, did he sneak out without his parent's permission in spite? Or did he simply go up to his parents and say "I'm going to remove myself in an act to calm down. So I shall be on a walk?" The possiblities are endless!

    A much more proper review. Now that I have effectively explained diffrent types of criticsm, I'll continue on through this history just to give you some more examples.

    While he was on his walk he accidently ran into a taillow's territory and before he knew about 3 taillow were pecking at his arm it was all madness until a trainer with a strong bannete game and wiped them all out. The trainer then called 911. Nicholas woke up in the hospital the next day.The trainer visited him and told him " If youre going to go and be in such dangerous areas you might as well have a pokemon with you. The following year he went through rehabilitation.
    "While he was on his walk he accidently ran into a taillow's territory and before he knew about 3 taillow were pecking at his arm it was all madness until a trainer with a strong bannete game and wiped them all out."

    - This is a run on sentence. You should add a period/full stop after "3 taillow were pecking at his arm". By the way, you should proabably switch 3 for three. With those little grammatical issues out of the way, this scenario is fairly unrealistic. If he was to remove himself from the confrontation earlier to think, he certainly is a smart boy. So when the taillow came why wouldn't of screamed for help, if the pokemon were attacking his arm would he have not thought to cover it? Why wouldn't he have tried to get the taillow away? Was he too scared? Have an irrational fear of bird pokemon? How long did this attack go on? Was he barely conscious when the mystery trainer came? How does Bannette get rid of the taillow? Why did he faint, was it from blood loss? Was he so overjoyed to be saved?

    As you can see that is a lot of questions, this means you have left up a very open ended history that doesn't cover or go into a lot of detail. Perhaps you should answer these questions so that you can improve it.

    I don't personally think that one attack to the arm will cause the need for a whole year of rehab. Now is the time where I'm gonna tell you to proabably scrap this history, unfortunately (proabably not intentionally) you have caused a very stale history. This doesn't really cover a lot of his life either, just one incident. This history really isn't the greatest because it's going to proabably come up in the RPG as a bad memory, which cause for a bland character. Otherwise known as a Gary-Stu, this time it's the angsty one.


    After the incident Nicholas tried to go through proper channels to get a pokemon. When he heard of this project, he lept for joy and filled the application. Nicholas grew up in Pastoria city.
    I can see why he would like to have a pokemon after you're portraying the trainer as a "role model" right? Nothing is really wrong here except for the fact he grew up in Pastoria city. This is something you'd rather put at the begging of a History, rather then the end.

    Overall this history isn't the best, sorry to say. As I explained before it's only one incident, it's all rather "Gary-Stu" and would mess up the RPG. Also there's a whole lot you could do more! Explain everything in complete detail! There's no such thing as a history that's too big, so keep on going!


    This ends my review of this history, you're not being forced to type, elaborate or go into detail like I did but I highly reccomend it! The more that you elaborate and help out the recipient, the higher chance that in the end the character and signup will be so much better! Remember you're to help the best way you can.

    On an ending note I would like to give you a few more tips for the best use of this thread. Think of them as rules and guidelines.

    - Please post here if you are looking for somone to review for you. Just leave your RPG signup, somebody will come along and review it for you. This does mean you are going to have to be patient until somebody comes along.

    - The only sort of criticsm that will be accepted is the type that I showed to you guys earlier on this post.

    - Please post here only if you want a review, or are going to review somebody. You may only be allowed to post the same signup one time. If you would like to ask the original reviewer why they gave you a good/bad/indiffrent review please do so in a Personal Message or Visitor message.

    - Have Fun! Seriously guys this is a no brainer!
    Last edited by Peter Quill; 1st August 2009 at 2:28 AM.

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