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Thread: Pokemon: Beacon of Fire

  1. #1
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    Default Pokemon: Beacon of Fire

    Hey there! So, my last couple of fan fics have been anything but critically acclaimed so I took a three week hiatus to re-think my fics. During that time I wrote the first four chapters to this story and decided this is the story I wanna write. It takes place in the Sevii islands before humans had inhabitted the location. Hope you enjoy!

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    Note: Fic is rated PG but there could be occasional PG-13 chapters

    Pokemon: Beacon of Fire


    Ch.1) Grim News



    All was still in the Valley of the Dragons. Mist had drifted in from the sea nearby and was clinging to the mountains. Pidgey twittered uncertainly in the foggy damp, and clouds hid the sun.

    A Pikachu came scuttling down the slope, fell head over heels, tumbled down the moss-covered rocks, and picked herself up again.

    “Didn’t I say so?” she muttered crossly to herself. “Didn’t I tell them?”
    Snuffling, she raised her black nose, listened, and headed toward a group of crooked trees at the foot of the highest mountain.

    “I knew before winter,” murmured the electric Pokémon. “Oh, yes, I knew before winter, I could sense it coming, but they wouldn’t believe me, no, not them! They feel safe here. Safe! Huh! Really!”

    It was so dark under the trees that you could scarcely see the gaping crevice in the mountainside that swallowed up the mist.

    “They don’t know anything,” the Pikachu continued peevishly, “that’s their problem. They know absolutely nothing about the world. Not the least little thing.”

    She glanced warily around again, and then disappeared into the crevice in the rock. There was a large cave behind it. The yellow Pokémon scurried in, but she didn’t get far. Someone grabbed her lightning-shaped tail and lifted her up in the air.

    “Hi, Din! What are you doing here?”

    The Pikachu snapped at the furry fingers that were holding her tight, but all she caught was a mouthful of purple hairs, which she furiously spat out.

    “Dock!” she hissed. “Let go of me this instant, you brainless, berry biter! I don’t have time for your silly Ambipom tricks.”

    “You don’t have time?” Dock placed Din on the flat of her furry paw. She was still a young Ambipom, relatively large for her species, with a purple coat and two oversized hands protruding from her back. “How come, Din? What’s the big hurry? Need a Charizard to protect you from hungry Persians, or what?”

    “This has nothing to do with Persians!” hissed Din angrily. She didn’t care for Ambipoms herself, although all the dragons loved them and their furry faces. When the dragons couldn’t sleep they would listen to the strange little songs the Ambipoms sang, and when they felt sad no one could cheer them up as well as those sharp-tongued Ambipom layabouts.

    “I’ve got bad news, if you want to know. Extremely bad news,” grumbled Din. “But I’m not telling anyone except Wyvern. Certainly not you!”

    “Bad news? Oh, Arceus! What sort of bad news?” Dock scratched her stomach.

    “Put-me-down!” snarled Din.

    “If you say so. Wouldn’t wanna get shocked after all.” Dock sighed and let Din hop down to the stony floor of the cave. “But he’s still asleep.”

    “Then I’m waking him up!” spat the Pikachu, making her way further into the cave, where a fire burned scarlet, keeping the darkness and damp away from the heart of the mountain. Beside its flames the dragon lay asleep, curled up with his head on his paws. His long tail with its flaming tip was coiled around the warmth of the fire. The flames brought a glow to his scales and cast his shadow on the cave wall. Din scurried up to the Charizard, climbed on his paw, and tugged his horn.

    “Wyvern!” she shouted. “Wyvern, wake up! They’re coming!”

    Sleepily the Charizard raised his head and opened his eyes.

    “Oh, it’s you, is it, Din?” he murmured in a rather hoarse voice. “Has the sun set already, then?”

    “No, but you must get up all the same! You have to wake up the others!” Din jumped off Wyvern’s paw and scuttled up and down in front of him. “I warned you, I really did- I warned the whole bunch of you, but you wouldn’t listen, oh, no!”

    “What’s she talking about?” The Charizard cast an inquiring glance at Dock, who was now sitting by the fire, nibbling a Pecha berry.

    “No idea,” said Dock, munching. “She just keeps jabbering on. Well, there’s not much room for sense in a little head like hers.”

    “Oh really!” Din gasped indignantly. “Honestly, I ask you, I-”

    “Take no notice, Din!” Wyvern rose, stretched his long neck, and shook himself. “She’s in a bad temper because the mist makes her fur damp.”

    “Pull the other one!” Din threw Dock a venomous glance. “Ambipoms are always bad-tempered. I’ve been up since sunrise, running my paws off to warn you. And what thanks do I get?” Her brilliant yellow coat was bristling with anger. “I have to listen to her silly fur-brained fancies.”

    “Warn us of what?” Dock threw the nibbled remnants of her berry at the wall of the cave. “Oh, great Golbats! Stop winding us all up like this or I’ll tie a knot in your tail!”

    “Quiet, Dock!” Wyvern brought his claw down angrily on the fire. Crimson sparks flew into the Ambipom girl’s fur, where they went out like tiny shooting stars.

    “All right, all right!” she muttered. “But the way that rat carries on is enough to drive anyone crazy.”

    “Oh really? Then you just listen to me!” Din drew herself up to her full height, plated her paws on her hips, and sparks began to fly from her red cheeks. “Humans are coming!” she squeaked, so shrilly that her voice echoed around the cave. “Human beings are coming! You know what that means, you empty-headed monkey? Humans are coming- coming here!”

    Suddenly all was deathly quiet.

    Dock and Wyvern looked at each other as if they had seen a ghost. But Din was trembling with rage. Her black-tipped ears were aquiver, and her tail twitched back and forth on the cave floor.

    Wyvern was the first to move.

    “Humans?” he asked, bending his neck and holding out his paw to Din. Looking offended, she scrambled onto it. Wyvern raised her to his eye level. “Are you sure?” he asked.

    “Perfectly sure,” replied the Pikachu.

    Wyvern bowed his head. “It was bound to happen someday,” he said quietly. “They’re all over the place these days. I think there are more and more of them all the time.”

    Dock was still looking stunned. Suddenly she jumped up and spat into the fire. “But that’s impossible!” she cried. “There’s nothing here they’d want, nothing at all!”

    “That’s what you think!” The Pikachu bent over so far that she almost fell off Wyvern’s paw. “Don’t talk such nonsense. You’ve mingled with humans, right? There’s nothing they don’t fancy, nothing they don’t want. Forgotten that already, have you?”

    “Okay, okay!” muttered Dock. “You’re right. They’re greedy. They want everything for themselves.”

    “They do indeed.” The Pikachu nodded. “And I tell you, they’re coming here.”

    The fire flared up, and then the flames burned low until the darkness, like some black Pokémon, swallowed them. Only one thing could extinguish Wyvern’s fiery breath so fast and that was sorrow. But the Charizard blew gently on the rocky ground, and flames flickered up once more.

    “This is bad news indeed, Din,” said Wyvern. He let Din jump onto his shoulder, and then slowly went to the mouth of the cave. “Come on, Dock,” he said. “We must wake the others.”

    “And they won’t be pleased!” growled Dock, smoothing down her ruffled fur and following Wyvern out into the mist.
    Last edited by miler567; 28th February 2009 at 4:31 AM.

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  2. #2
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    This looks to be promising! It was a bit shorter then the chapters you did in Jack's Quest, although it was really good. You have improved, but you might have one grammar error in there. I'll check this out often!

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    This looks to be promising! It was a bit shorter then the chapters you did in Jack's Quest, although it was really good. You have improved, but you might have one grammar error in there. I'll check this out often!

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    Ahhhhh a Jack's quest reader....haha good times. Well its kinda nice to be free of the OT format so we'll see how this goes. I'm currently working on proofing Ch.2 (should be up soon since its already been typed)

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    They were good times. It was a good fic though, especially with that amazing plot twist that happened in the beginning of this fic. Don't give up on this fic, because I want to see what you do with this fic. I'm making one with Holon, and you are doing a original one on the Sevii Islands. This is sweet!

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    Jack's quest died when our old computer died sadly. I lost the heart to go back and re-type it all haha i'll go check out your fic rite now tho

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    Thanks! I hope that chapter two is up soon, by the way. It'll be fun to see how you do this fic, and I mainly want to see how you do with a fic with basically just Pokemon in it instead of humans.

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    I actually like doing this kind of fic. better. I like having to look at the world through a Pokemons perspective.

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    Note: Before anyone even gets on to me, I know, I know, that Tyranitar is not technically a dragon but because of his appearance and just to add some diversity he will be considered one of the dragons in this fic. And now without further ado...

    Ch.2) A rainy gathering

    Grayfire, the oldest dragon in the valley, had seen more than his memory could hold. His scales were worn and gray, but he could still breathe fire, and whenever younger Pokémon were at a loss they would come to ask his advice. Once all the other dragons had assembled outside Grayfire’s cave, Wyvern woke him. The sun had set. A black and starless sky lay over the valley, and it was still raining.

    When the old Salamence emerged from his cave he looked gloomily up at the sky. The damp and cold weather made his joints stiff and his bones ache. The others respectfully made way for him. Grayfire looked around. None of the dragons were missing, but Dock was the only Ambipom present. The old dragon moved through the wet grass, with heavy steps and dragging tail, toward a rock that rose in the valley like a Snorlax’s head covered with moss. Breathing hard, he climbed up on it and looked around. The other dragons gazed up at him like frightened children. Some of them were still very young and knew nothing but this valley; others had come with Grayfire himself from far, far away and remembered that the world had not always belonged to humankind. They all smelled misfortune, and they hoped he would deal with it. But Grayfire was old and tired now.

    “Come up here, Din,” he said in a hoarse voice. “Tell us what you saw and heard.”

    The Pikachu scampered nimbly up the rock, climbed Grayfire’s tail, and crouched on his back. It was so quiet under the dark sky that only the sound of the rain falling and the rustle of Vulpix out hunting by night could be heard. Din cleared her throat. “Humans are coming!” she cried. “They’ve woken their machines and fed them and sent them on their way. They’re already eating a path through the mountains only two days’ journey from here. The Legendaries will hold them at bay for a while, but they’ll force their way past one way or another-because it’s this valley of yours they’re heading toward.”

    A groan ran through the ranks of the dragons. They raised their heads and pressed closer to the rock where Grayfire stood.

    Wyvern was a little way away from the others, with Dock perched on his back, nibbling a dried berry. “Oh, terrific, Din,” she muttered. “Couldn’t you have put it a little more tactfully?”

    “What does that mean?” a Gabite called out. “Why would they want to come here? Surely they have all they want where they are.”

    “Humans never have all they want,” replied Din.

    “Let us hide until they go away again!” suggested another dragon. “The way we’ve always done when one of them stumbles onto us. They’re so blind they only see Pokémon they expect to see. They’ll think we’re odd-looking rocks, same as usual. Or dead trees.”

    But the Pikachu shook her head.

    “Look here!” she shrilled. “If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a hundred times, those humans are making plans. But big Pokémon don’t listen to little Pokémon, right?” She looked around her crossly. “You hide from human beings, but you aren’t interested in what they’re up to. Pikachus aren’t this stupid: We go into their houses; we eavesdrop on them. We know what they’re planning for your valley.” Din cleared her throat again and stroked her black whiskers.

    “Here she goes again, winding up the suspense,” Dock whispered into Wyvern’s ear, but the Charizard ignored her.

    “What are they planning, then, Din?” asked Grayfire wearily. “Come on, tell us.”

    Din fiddled nervously with a whisker. It was no fun bringing bad news. “They-they’re going to flood the valley to build a port,” she replied, her voice faltering. “Soon there’ll be nothing her but water. Your caves will be flooded, and none of the tall trees over there,” she said, pointing one paw at the darkness, “none of them will be left. Not even the treetops will show above the water.”

    The dragons stared at her, speechless.

    “But that’s impossible!” one of them exclaimed at last. “No one can do a thing like that. Not even us, and we’re bigger and stronger than they are.”

    “Impossible?” Din laughed sarcastically. “Bigger? Stronger? You don’t get it at all. You tell them, Dock. Tell them what human beings are like. Maybe they’ll believe you.” With an injured expression, she wrinkled her round nose.

    The dragons turned to Wyvern and Dock.

    “Din’s right,” said the Ambipom. “You’ve no idea.” She spat on the ground and picked at a piece of berry stuck between her teeth. “Human beings don’t go around with spears or nets these days, like they used to when they hunted Pokémon, but they’re still dangerous. More dangerous than anything else in the world.”

    “Oh, nonsense!” said a large, stout Tyranitar scornfully and turned his scaly green back on Dock. “Let the humans come! Pikachus and Ambipoms may be right to fear them, but we are dragons! What can they do to us?”

    “What can they do to you?” Dock threw her nibbled berry away and sat up very straight. She was angry now, and an angry Ambipom is not to be trifled with. “You’ve never set foot outside this valley, dimwit!” she said. “I expect you think human beings sleep in caves like you. I expect you think they do no more harm than a fly because they can’t use Dragon Rage. I expect you think they’ve got nothing in their heads but thoughts of eating and sleeping. But they aren’t like that. Oh, no, not these days!” Dock was practically gasping for air. “Those things that sometimes fly across the sky -being so stupid, you call them noisy Skarmory- Those things are machines built by humans for traveling though the air. And human beings can talk to one another when they aren’t even in the same country. They can conjure up moving, talking pictures, and they have cups made of ice that never melts, and their houses shine at night as if they’d trapped sunlight, and, and…” Dock shook her head. “And they can do wonderful things- terrible things, too. If they want to flood this valley with water then they will. You’ll have to leave whether you like it or not.”

    The dragons stared at her. Even the one who had just turned his back. Some of them looked up at the mountains as if they expected machines to come crawling over the black peaks at any moment.

    “Oh, drat it!” muttered Dock. “Now he’s gone and made me so flustered I threw my delicious berry away. It was an Oran berry, too! You don’t find those around here so often.” In a thoroughly bad mood, she scrambled down off Wyvern’s back and started searching the wet grass for her tidbit.

    “You heard, all of you!” said Grayfire. “We have to leave.”

    Uncertainly, their legs heavy with fear, the dragons turned to him again.

    “For some of you,” the old Salamence continued, “It will be the first time, but many of us have had to flee from human beings before. Although now it will be extremely difficult to find a place that doesn’t belong to them.” Grayfire shook his head sadly. “It seems to me there are more and more humans with every new moon.”

    “Yes, they’re all over the place,” said the Tyranitar. “It’s only when I travel these very islands that I don’t see their lights around me.”

    “Then we must just try living in harmony with them,” suggested a young Dragonite.

    But Grayfire shook his head. “No,” he said. “No one can live in harmony with human beings.”

    “Oh, yes, they can.” Din stroked her wet coat. “Growlithes and Meowth do, and Bidoof and Starly, even us Pikachu. But you,” she said, letting her gaze roam over the dragons, “you’re too big, too clever, and,” she added, shrugging her shoulders, “too powerful! You’d overwhelm them. And whenever humans find something powerful they-”

    “They capture it,” the old Salamence said wearily. “They almost wiped us out once before, many, many hundred years ago.” He raised his heavy head and looked at the younger dragons one by one. “I’d hoped they would at least leave us this valley and these islands. It was a foolish hope.”

    “But where are we to go?” cried one of the dragons in despair. “This is our home.”

    Grayfire did not reply. He looked up at the night sky, where the stars were still hidden behind the clouds, and sighed. Then he said huskily, “Go back to the Beacon of Fire. We have to stop running away sometime. I’m too old. I shall crawl into my cave and hide, but you younger ones can make it.”

    The young dragons looked at him in surprise. The rest of them, however, raised their heads and looked northward, their eyes full of longing.

    “The Beacon of Fire.” Grayfire closed his eyelids. “Its mountains are so tall that they touch the sky. Moonstone caves lie hidden among its slopes, and the floor of the valley in the middle of the mountains is covered with fire red flowers. When you were children we told you stories about the Beacon of Fire. You may have thought they were fairy tales, but some of us have actually been there."

    He opened his eyes again. “I was born there, so long ago that eternities lie between that memory and me. I was younger than most of you are now when I flew away, tempted by the wide sky. I flew southward, on and on. I have never dared to fly in the sunlight since. I had to hide from humans who thought I was a legendary bird. I tried to go back to the Beacon, but I could never find the way.”

    The old Salamence looked at his young companions. “Seek the Beacon of Fire! Go back to the Security of its peaks, and then perhaps you will never have to flee from or fight with humans again. They aren’t here yet,” he said, nodding toward the dark mountaintops around the valley, “but they will come soon. I have felt it for a long time. Don’t linger. You must depart!”

    All was perfectly still again. Drizzling rain as fine as dust fell from the sky.

    Dock hunched her head between her shoulders, shivering. “Oh thanks a million,” she whispered to Wyvern. “The Beacon of Fire, eh? Sounds too good to be true. If you ask me, the old boy dreamed it up.”

    Wyvern did not reply but looked up at Grayfire thoughtfully. Then he suddenly stepped forward.

    “Hey!” whispered Dock in alarm. “What’s the idea? Don’t do anything foolish.”

    But Wyvern took no notice. “You’re right, Grayfire,” he said. “In any case I’m tired of living in hiding, never flying outside this valley.” He turned to the others. “Let us look for the Beacon of Fire. Come on, let’s set out today. The moon is waxing. There’ll be no better night for us.”

    The others shuddered as if he had lost his mind. But Grayfire smiled for the first time that night. “You’re still rather young, Wyvern,” he pointed out.

    “I’m old enough,” replied Wyvern, raising his orange head a little higher. He was not much smaller than the old dragon, but his wings were smaller and his scales still shone in the moonlight.

    “Here, hang on!” Wait a moment!” Dock scrambled hastily up Wyvern’s neck. “What’s all this nonsense? You may have flown beyond these hills all of ten times, but,” she said spreading out her thin arms attached to her back and pointing to the mountains around them, “but you’ve no idea what lies farther off. You can’t just fly away through the human world, looking for a place that may not even exist.”

    “Be quiet, Dock,” said Wyvern crossly.

    “Won’t!” spat the Ambipom. “See the others? Do they look as if they want to leave? No! So forget it. If human beings really come I’m sure I can find us a nice new cave!”

    “Yes, listen to her,” said a Garchomp, moving closer to Wyvern. “There’s no such place as the Beacon of Fire except in Grayfire’s dreams. The world belongs to the humans. If we just hide here they may leave us in peace. And if they really do come to our valley, well, we can just move to another island."

    At this Din laughed. Her laughter was shrill and loud. “And what keeps them from then expanding to that island?” she asked.

    But the Garchomp did not answer her. “Come on,” he told the others, and he turned and went back to through the pouring rain to his cave. They followed him one by one, until only Wyvern and the old Salamence were left. Grayfire, his legs stiff, climbed down from the rock and looked at Wyvern. “I can see why they think the Beacon of Fire is only a dream,” he said. “There’s many a day when it seems like a dream to me, too.”

    Wyvern shook his head. “I’ll find it,” he said and looked around. “Even if Din is wrong and the humans stay where they are, there must be someplace where we won’t have to hide. And when I have found it I’ll come back and fetch the rest of you. I’ll set out tonight.”

    The old Salamence nodded. “Come to my cave before you leave,” he said. “I will tell you all I can remember, even thought it isn’t much. But now I must get out of this rain or I won’t be able to move my old bones at all tomorrow."

    With difficulty, Grayfire trudged back to his cave. Wyvern stayed behind with Dock and Din. The Ambipom was perched on his back, looking fierce. “You idiot!” she said quietly. “Acting the big hero, right? Off to look for something that doesn’t exist. Really?”

    “What are you muttering about?” asked the Charizard, turning his head to look at her.

    This was too much for Dock. She lost her temper. “And who’s going to wake you when the sun sets so you can fly undetected?” she demanded. “Who’s going to protect you from human capture? Who’s going to sing you to sleep and scratch behind your horns?”

    “Yes, who?” asked Din sharply. She was still on the rock where the old dragon had stood.

    “Me, of course!” Dock spat at her. “For Mew’s sake, what else can I do?”

    “Oh, no, you don’t!” Wyvern turned so abruptly that Dock almost slipped off his wet back. “You can’t come!”

    “And just why not?” Dock folded her arms, looking offended.

    “Because it’s dangerous.”

    “I don’t care.”

    “But you hate flying! It makes you sick!”

    “I’ll get used to it.”

    “You’ll be homesick, too.”

    “Homesick for what? You think I’m going to wait here till the Magikarp come and nibble my fingers? No, I’m going with you.”

    Wyvern sighed. “Oh, very well,” he murmured. “You can come. But don’t blame me for taking you along.”

    “She will,” said Din, chuckling as she jumped off the rock into the damp grass. “Ambipoms are never happy without something to complain about. Well, now let’s go and see the old dragon. If you’re not going to start tonight there’s no time to waste. Certainly not enough time to finish your argument with this dim-witted Buizel-biter.”
    Last edited by miler567; 26th January 2009 at 10:47 PM.

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    Ch. 3) Advice and Precautions


    Grayfire was lying at the mouth of his cave listening to the rain when they arrived. “You haven’t changed your mind?” he asked when Wyvern lay down beside him on the rocky ground.

    The young Charizard shook his head. “But I won’t be alone. Dock’s coming with me.”

    “Well, well!” The old Salamence looked at Dock. “Good. She may come in handy. She knows humans, she has a quick mind, and Ambipoms are more suspicious by nature than Charizards. None of which will be a bad thing on your journey. Her big appetite could be a problem, but no doubt she’ll soon get used to eating less.”

    Dock looked anxiously down at her stomach.

    “Listen, then,” Grayfire began again. “I don’t really remember very much. These days, the pictures get more and more muddled in my mind, but I do know this: You must fly to the highest mountain range in the whole world. It lies far away, north of here. And when you get there, you must find the Beacon of Fire. Look for a chain of ice-covered peaks encircling a valley like a ring of stone. As for the red flowers growing in the valley,” he added, closing his eyes, “they will be your beacon. Your beacon of fire.” He sighed. “Ah, my memories are faded now, as if they were lost in the mist. But it’s a wonderful place.” His head sank to his cerulean paws, he closed his eyes, and his breath came more slowly. “There was something else,” he murmured. “About the Eye of the Inferno. But I don’t remember what.”

    “The Eye of the Inferno?” Dock leaned toward him. “What’s that?”

    But Grayfire only shook his head sleepily. “I don’t remember,” he murmured. “But…beware,” he said, his voice so soft that they could hardly hear it, “beware of the Emerald One.” Then a snore emerged from his snout.

    Wyvern straightened up, looking thoughtful.

    “What did he mean by that?” asked Dock anxiously. “Come on, we’d better wake him up again and ask him.”

    But Wyvern shook his head. “Let him sleep. I don’t think he can tell us anymore than he’s told us already.”

    They left the cave quietly, and when Wyvern looked up at the sky the moon was visible for the first time that night.

    “Oh, good,” said Dock, holding one of her tail-hands in the air. “At least it’s stopped raining.” Suddenly she clapped herself on the forehead. “Oh, Arceus!” She swiftly slipped off Wyvern’s back. “I must pack some provisions. How do we know there won’t be berry shortages when we’re going? Back in a moment. And don’t you dare,” she added menacingly, wagging a large hand in Wyvern’s face, “don’t you dare even think of starting without me.”

    With that she disappeared into the dark.

    “Now listen, Wyvern,” said the Pikachu anxiously, “you really don’t know much about what you’re looking for. You’re not used to navigating by the stars, and Dock’s mind is usually so full of Berries that she could get north and south mixed up and the moon confused with the evening star. No, it won’t do.” Din stroked her tail and looked at the Charizard. “You need help, believe me! As it happens, a cousin of mine makes maps. Very special maps. He may not know exactly where the Beacon of Fire is, but he can certainly tell you where to find the highest mountain in the world. Stop off and see him on the way. I have to admit visiting him isn’t entirely without its risks,” said the Pikachu, wrinkling her brow, “because he lives in a big city. But I think you ought to chance it. If you set off soon you can be there in two nights’ time.”

    “City?” The indistinct figure of Dock emerged from the mist.

    “For goodness’ sake, must you scare me to death?” asked Din. “Yes, that’s right. My cousin lives in a human city. When you’ve left the sea behind you, keep flying northward inland, and you can’t miss it. It’s huge, a hundred times larger than this valley, and full of bridges and tall buildings. My cousin lives in an old warehouse near a volcano.”

    “Does he look like you?” asked Dock, stuffing a few apricorns into her mouth. She was carrying a bulging backpack, which she had brought back from one of her excursions into the world of human beings. “Yes, of course he does, you Pikachus all look the same. Yellow, yellow, and yellow again.”

    “Yellow is a very practical color!” spat the Pikachu. “Unlike your silly purple. As it happens, however, my cousin is orange. Incredibly orange. He wishes he wasn’t.”

    “Please stop squabbling,” said Wyvern, looking up at the sky. The moon was now almost at its height, and if they were to set out at night it was time to leave. “Climb aboard, Dock,” he said. “Shall we take Din, too, to give you someone to fight with?”

    “No thanks!” Din took a couple of small steps backward in alarm. “There’s no call for that kind of thing. I’m perfectly happy to know the world at secondhand. It’s a lot safer.”

    “I never fight with anyone, anyway,” Dock mumbled with her mouth full as she clambered up onto the Charizard’s back. “Pikachus are oversensitive.”

    Wyvern spread his wings, and Dock hastily clutched both of his elongated horns.

    “Look after yourself, Din,” said the Charizard, bending his neck to nuzzle the little Pikachu affectionately. “It’s going to be some while before I’ll be back to keep you safe from wild Persian.” Then he stepped back, took off from the damp ground, and rose into the air, beating his wings powerfully.

    “Oh, no!” groaned Dock, clinging on tight with all four hands.

    Wyvern rose higher and higher into the dark sky, and a cold wind whistled around the Ambipom’s ears.

    “I’ll never get used to this,” she muttered. “Not unless I start growing feathers.” She peered down cautiously at the island below. “None of them,” she grumbled, “not a single one has so much as put his neck out of his cave to say good-bye. They probably won’t come out until they’re up to their chins in water. Hey, Wyvern!” she called to the Charizard. “I know a nice little spot over there beyond those hills. Why don’t we settle down there instead?”

    But Wyvern did not reply.

    And the black hills rose between him and the valley where he had been born.
    Last edited by miler567; 26th January 2009 at 10:48 PM.

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  11. #11
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    Good chapters. You have made the Pokemon act like humans, and I like that about your writing. You left us with somewhat of a plot twist at the end of chappy three, and I hope that it will keep me hanging on my seat as I read. Anyway, keep up the good work!

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    Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad to hear my Pokemon have a human like feel to them. it means im accomplishing what I desired!

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    I just read Chapter One. I think it was life like, and descriptive. Your dialogue flowed well and seemed natural. The three characters are already pretty rounded. I think I will stick around. I will comment on chapter two and three in a post or edit this one later. Off to bed soon.

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    Ahhh, a new reader! Thanks for the review. I hope you enjoy the rest

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  15. #15
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    Ch.4) Of islands and humans

    “Oh, miserable Mespirit!” grumbled Dock. “If we don’t find somewhere pretty quick they’ll catch us and put us in the Safari Zone.”

    “What’s that?” asked Wyvern, raising his muzzle from the water. He had landed an hour ago on the island city, in the darkest part of it they could find, far from the streets that were full of noise and light, even now when night had fallen. Ever since, he had been traversing from one dirty canal to the next looking for a place to hide during the day. But hard as Dock strained her catlike eyes and raised her nose to the wind, they couldn’t find anywhere that was large enough for a Charizard and didn’t reek of humans. Everything smelled of humans here, even the dark water and the garbage adrift in in it.
    “You mean you don’t know what the Safari Zone is? Oh I’ll explain it later. Just avoid human and their infernal capturing balls,” muttered Dock. “Bother, it’s going to take me hours to wash this filth off your scales.”

    Wyvern was padding along dirty canals, under bridges, and past the dull gray walls of buildings. Dock kept glancing uneasily at the sky, but there was no sign yet of the all-revealing sun.

    “There!” The Ambipom suddenly whispered, pointing to a tall building. The water of the canal lapped its brick walls with broken windows. “See that window? If you make yourself as thin as you can you might fit through. Let’s go over there. I’ll snoop around a bit.”

    The Charizard cautiously scooted over toward the wall. A large broken window just about the canal walls gaped open. Its broken shards of glass hung loosely from its decaying sill. With one bound Dock jumped off Wyvern’s back, got a handhold on the loose mortar on the wall, and put her head through the opening, sniffing.

    “Seems okay,” she whispered. “There hasn’t been a human being in here for years. Nothing but Raticate droppings and Weedles. Come on.”

    In a flash, she had disappeared into the dark. Wyvern hauled himself out of the canal, dusted off his orange body, and forced it through the window. He looked curiously around him at this structure, the work of human hands. He had never been inside a building before, and he didn’t like it. Large wooden crates and rotting cardboard boxes were stacked by the burnt walls. Dock sniffed everything with interest, but she couldn’t pick up the scent of anything edible.

    Wearily Wyvern dropped to the floor in front of the window and looked out. This was the first time he had made such a long flight. His wings ached, and this new island was full of frightening sounds and smells.

    “What’s the matter?” Dock sat down between his paws. “Oh, I see. Who’s homesick now?” She opened her backpack, took out a handful of berries, and held them under his nose. “Here, get a noseful of these. They’ll drive the stink of this place out of your nostrils. I expect our friend the Pikachu would like it just fine here, but you and I had better get out as soon as we can.” She patted Wyvern’s dirty head comfortingly. “Get some sleep now. I’ll have a bit of a rest, too, and then I’ll be off to look for Din’s cousin.”

    Wyvern nodded. His eyes closed. When he heard Dock singing softly to herself, it was almost like being back in his cave. His tired limbs relaxed. Sleep was laying soft, soothing tendrils on him… when Dock suddenly jumped up.

    “There’s something in here!” She hissed.

    Wyvern raised his head and looked around. “Where?” he asked.

    “Behind those crates!” whispered Dock. “You stay here.” She crept toward a stack of crates that towered to the ceiling. Wyvern listened carefully. Now he could hear it, too: a rustling, a scraping of feet. The Charizard raised himself.

    “Come on out!” said Dock. “Come out, whatever you are!”

    For a moment all was quiet. Very quiet. Except for the noises of the big city drifting in from outside.

    “Come on out!” spat Dock again. “Or do I have to come and get you myself?”

    There was some more rustling, and then a human boy crawled out from among the crates. Dock retreated in alarm. When the boy rose to his feet he was a good deal taller than she was. He stared incredulously at the Ambipom. And then he saw the Charizard.

    Wyvern’s scales still shone like flickering flames in spite of the grime from the canal, and in such a small space he seemed enormous. Neck bent, he was gazing down at the boy in astonishment.

    The Charizard had never even seen a human at close quarters before. From everything that Din and Dock had told him, he had imagined them as looking different- very different.

    “He doesn’t smell of humans at all!” Dock growled. She had recovered from her fright and was inspecting the boy suspiciously, although from a safe distance. “He stinks of Raticate,” she added. “That’s why I didn’t smell him. Yes, that’ll be it.”

    The boy took no notice of her. He raised his hand- a bare hand with no fur growing on it- and pointed at Wyvern. “It’s a Charizard!” he whispered. “A real, live Charizard.”

    He gave Wyvern an uncertain smile.

    The Charizard cautiously stretched out his long neck toward the boy and sniffed. Dock was right. He did smell of Raticate, but there was something else as well. A strange smell, the same smell that hung in the air outside- the smell of human beings.

    “Of course it’s a Charizard,” said Dock crossly. “And what are you?”

    The boy turned to her in surprise. “Oh, wow!” he exclaimed. “You’re quite something, too! Are you some sort of new Pokémon?”

    Dock proudly stroked her silky coat. “I’m an Ambipom. Can’t you see that?”

    “A what?”

    “An Ambipom!” repeated Dock impatiently. “Typical. You humans may be able to tell a Meowth from a Growlithe, but that’s about all.”

    “You kinda look like the Mankey’s that hang around here. Except purple and less tough,” said the boy grinning.

    “Very funny!” spat Dock. “What are you doing here, anyway? A little human like you isn’t usually out and about on his own.”

    The grin vanished from the boy’s face as if Dock had wiped it away. “A thingamajig like you isn’t usually out and about here, either,” he pointed out. “If you must know, I live here.”

    “Here?” Dock looked around, raising an eyebrow.

    “Yes, here.” The boy glared at her. “For now, anyway. But if you like,” he added, looking at the Charizard, “if you like you can stay here.”

    “Thank you,” said Wyvern. “That’s extremely kind of you. What’s your name?”

    The boy awkwardly pushed his brown hair back from his forehead. “My name’s Jim. What about you?”

    “This,” said the Charizard, nuzzling Dock gently in the stomach, “is Dock. And I am Wyvern.”

    “Wyvern. That’s a good name.” Jim put out his hand tentatively to stroke the Charizard’s neck, as if he feared Wyvern would disappear the moment he was touched.

    Casting the boy a suspicious glance, Dock went over to the window and looked out. “Time to go and look for the Pikachu,” she said. “You -human- can you tell me where the Cinnabar Warehouses are?”

    Jim nodded. “Less than ten minutes’ walk from here. But how are you going to get there without being captured by some trainer?”

    “You can leave that to me,” growled Dock.

    Wyvern put his head between the two of them, looking anxious. “You mean it’s dangerous for her?” he asked the boy.

    Jim nodded. “Of course. Well, looking the way she does I bet she won’t get ten feet from here. The first trainer to spot her will suck her right up into a Pokéball.”

    “Pokéball?” asked Wyvern, baffled. “What kind of thing is a Pokéball?”

    “I know what a Pokéball is,” muttered Dock. “But I have to reach those warehouses, so it’s just too bad.” She sat down and was about to let herself drop to the ground below when Jim grabbed her arm.

    “I’ll take you there,” he said. “I’ll give you some of my clothes to wear, and then I can smuggle you past somehow. I’ve been living here a long time. I know all the back alleys.”

    “Would you really guide her?” asked Wyvern. “How can we ever thank you?”

    Jim turned red. “Oh, it’s nothing. Really,” he muttered.

    Dock was not looking so enthusiastic. “Human clothes,” she growled. “Yuck. Dismal Darkrai, I will smell like a human for weeks.”

    But she put the clothes on all the same.
    Last edited by miler567; 26th January 2009 at 10:50 PM.

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  16. #16
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    Ch.5) Glint the Seafaring Pikachu

    “Which warehouse is it?” asked Jim. “If you don’t know the number, we could have a long search ahead of us.”

    They were standing on a narrow bridge. Warehouses lined both sides of the street: strange, narrow buildings of red stone, with tall windows and pointed gables. The harbor of the big city wasn’t far away, and a cold wind was blowing from that direction, almost tearing the hood away from Dock’s round ears. A great many humans were pushing past them, but no one stopped and stared at the small figure with Jim, clutching the railing of the bridge. The sleeves of Jim’s hoodie, which were much too long for her, hid Dock’s paws. His jeans, turned up twice at the bottom, hid her spindly purple legs, and her impish face was hidden in the shadow of the hood.

    “Din said it’s the last warehouse before the sea,” she whispered. “And her cousin, the Pikachu, lives in the cellar.”

    “Pikachu? You don’t mean a real Pikachu, do you?” Jim looked at Dock doubtfully.

    “Of course she’s real. What do you think? Don’t just stand there looking stupid, not that you don’t do it well, but we’ve got more important things to do.” She impatiently pulled Jim along after her. The bridge led to a narrow road running beside the bank. As they hurried along the pavement, Dock kept anxiously looking around. The sound of traffic hurt her ears. She had been in small towns before, stealing fruit from gardens, exploring basements, teasing Growlithe. But there were no gardens here, no bushes where you could crouch down and hide in a hurry. Everything in this city seemed to be made of stone.

    Dock was greatly relieved when Jim guided her into a narrow alleyway that led back to the canal between the last two warehouses. There were several doors in the red walls. Two were closed, but when Jim pushed the third, it opened with a slight creak.

    They hurried in. An unlit stairway lay before them. Daylight filtered in through a narrow, dusty window and revealed one flight of steps leading up and another down.

    Jim looked suspiciously down the dark steps. “There’ll be Pikachus there, that’s for sure,” he whispered. “The question is, can we find the right one? How will we recognize it? Does it wear a collar and tie or something?”

    Dock did not answer. She pushed back her hood and scurried down the steps. Jim followed her. It was so dark at the foot of the steps that he took the flashlight out of his jacket pocket. A cellar with a high vaulted ceiling lay before them, and once again he saw any number of doors.

    “Huh!” Dock inspected the light and shook her head scornfully. “You humans need your little machines for everything, don’t you? Even to look at things.”

    “It’s not a machine.” Jim swept the beam of the flashlight over the doors. “What are we actually looking for?”

    Dock pricked up her ears and twitched her nose. Still snuffling, she moved slowly from door to door. “Ah, here we are.” She stopped in front of a brown door that was slightly ajar. Dock pushed it open just far enough for her to slip through the crack. Jim followed.

    “My goodness!” he murmured.

    The tall windowless room they entered was stuffed with junk up to the ceiling. Among shelves full of dusty folders stood stacks of old chairs, tables piled on top of one another, cupboards without doors, mountains of index-card files, and empty drawers.

    Dock raised her nose, sniffing, then shot purposefully away. Jim banged his shin following her. He had already lost track of the door they had come through. The farther they went the more chaotic the clutter became. Suddenly some shelving units barred their way.

    “That’s it, then, I suppose,” said Jim, letting the beam of his flashlight wander around the place. But Dock ducked, crawled through a gap between two shelves- and disappeared.

    “Hey, wait for me!” Jim cried and pushed his head through the gap.

    He was peering at a small study- a study just the right size for a Pikachu, barely a meter away from him and underneath a chair. The desk was a book propped on two tin cans. A coffee can turned upside down did duty as a chair. There were index card files full of tiny slips of paper, empty matchboxes stood everywhere, and the whole place was lit by an ordinary desk lamp standing on the floor beside the chair. But whoever it was that used this study was nowhere to be seen.

    “You stay here,” Dock whispered to Ben. “I don’ think Din’s cousin will be particularly pleased to see a human being.”

    “Oh, come off it!” Jim crawled through the gap and straightened up. “If it doesn’t get a fright at the sight of you it won’t mind me, either. Anyway, it’s living in a human building. I don’t suppose I’ll be the first human it ever saw.”

    “He!” hissed Dock. “It’s a he, and don’t you forget it.”

    She looked around curiously. In addition to the little study area under the chair there was also a human-sized desk, a huge chest of drawers, and a large old globe of the world hanging at an angle on its stand.

    “Hello?” called Dock. “Anyone at home? Oh, drat it, what was his name again? Gale- no, Glimp- no, Glint or something like that.”

    Something rustled above the desk. Jim and Dock looked up and saw a fat orange Pikachu looking down at them from his perch on top of a dusty chandelier.

    “What do you want?” asked the Pikachu in a shrill tone.

    “Your cousin sent me, Glint,” said Dock.

    “Which one?” asked the orange Pikachu wearily. “I’ve got hundreds of cousins.”

    “Din sent us,” said Dock.

    “You’ve come from Din?” Glint let down a tiny rope ladder from the chandelier and quickly clambered down it. He landed on the big desk with a thump. “Oh, well, that’s different.” He stroked his ears, which were bright orange, like his coat. “What can I do for you?”

    “There’s this place I’m looking for,” Dock told him. “Well, it’s a mountain really.”

    “Ah!” The orange Pikachu nodded, looking pleased with himself. “You’ve come to exactly the right Pokémon. I know all the mountain ranges on this planet, large, small, and medium. I know everything about them. After all, my informants come from all over the world.”

    “Your informants?” asked Jim.

    “Yes, ship Pikachus, Wingulls, the sort of folk who get around a lot. And I have a large extended family.” Glint went over to a big black box standing on the desk, raised the lid, and pushed a knob on its side.

    “That’s a real computer!” said Jim, surprised.

    “Of course it is.” Glint hit a couple of keys and looked at the screen, frowning. “It’s a P.C., all the bells and whistles. I sent off for it to help me get my files into some kind of order. But the fact is”- he sighed, and tried some more keys- “the fact is it’s always giving me grief. Right, what mountain was it you wanted?”

    “Er, well,” said Dock, scratching her stomach. She was itching horribly under the human’s clothes. “It’s supposed to be the highest one there is. The highest mountain range in the whole world. With a couple of mountains in the middle of it called the Beacon of Fire. Ever heard of it?

    “Oh, that one, is it? The Beacon of Fire. Well, well.” Glint looked curiously at the Ambipom. “The valley above the mist, home of the dragons. Not so easy.” He turned around and hammered away busily at the keyboard. “The place isn’t really thought to exist at all, you know,” he said. “But one hears odd things now and then. What’s your interest in it? An Ambipom and a human boy! They say even the dragons have long since forgotten where the Beacon of Fire lies.”

    Jim opened his mouth, but Dock gave him no time to speak. “This human has nothing to do with it,” she said.”I’m on my way to find the Beacon of Fire with a Charizard.”

    “A Charizard?” Glint looked at Dock in surprise. “Where’ve you hidden this Charizard, then?”

    “In a burned out mansion,” Jim answered quickly before Dock could open her mouth. “Not far away. He’ll be safe there. No one’s been it for years.”

    “Aha!” Glint nodded his orange head sagely.

    “Well, what about it?” asked Dock impatiently. “Do you know where the Beacon of Fire is? Can you tell us how to get there in reasonable safety?”

    “One thing at a time,” replied the Pikachu, twirling his tail. “Nobody knows where the Beacon of Fire lies. There are a few vague rumors about it, that’s all. But the highest mountain in the world is Mt. Coronet, no doubt about that. All the same, it won’t be easy to find a safe route for a rare Pokémon like a Charizard to take. Any dragon,” he pointed out, chuckling, “aren’t exactly inconspicuous, know what I mean? And they’re extremely powerful. A capture of one would boost a trainer’s power considerably. I’ll admit I wouldn’t mind taking a look at your friend myself, but,” he said shaking his head as her turned back to the computer, “but I never go farther than down to the bridge. Far too risky for me with all those Meowths prowling about. And there are other dangers, too,” he added, rolling his dark eyes. “Oh, you wouldn’t believe the half of it! Growlithes, Pokéballs, and hungry Ekans. No, thank you!”

    “But I thought you’d been all over the world,” said Dock in surprise. “Din said you were a sea faring Pikachu.”

    Glint tugged at his whiskers, looking embarrassed. “Well, yes, so I am. Learned the trade from my grandpa. But I get seasick as soon as a boat casts off, even a little rowing boat. On my first voyage I jumped overboard while we were still in the harbor. Swam back to the bank and never set paw on one of those swaying, rickety boats again. Ah.” He leaned so far forward that his nose touched the screen. “Here we are. Mt. Coronet. You’ve a long journey ahead of you, friends. Follow me.” Paw over paw, Glint made his way along a rope stretched right across the room from the desk to the big globe. He sat on top of the heavy wooden stand and kicked the globe with his hind paws. Squealing, it moved slightly, and Glint brought it to rest with his paw again.

    “Well now,” he murmured. “What have we here, then?”

    Jim and Dock looked inquiringly at him.

    “See that little red flag?” asked the orange Pikachu. “It more or less marks the spot where we are now, but Mt. Coronet,” said Glint, swinging himself over the stand and tapping the other side of the globe, “Mt. Coronet is here. And the Beacon of Fire, so the old stories say is somewhere just west of it. Unfortunately, as I was telling you, no one knows any details, and the area we’re talking about is unimaginably large and extremely inaccessible. It gets bitterly cold by night, and by day,” he added, grinning at Dock, “by day you’d probably be perspiring heavily in that fur coat of yours.”

    “It’s a terribly long way off,” murmured Jim.

    “Indeed it is!” Glint leaned forward and traced an invisible line on the globe. “By my reckoning your journey ought to go something like this, a fair stretch north for a while, then turn east.” He scratched his ear. “Yes. Yes, that’s it. I think the northern route is best. The humans are far too numerous to head east first. Besides, I’ve heard some nasty rumors about a foreign giant.” Glint leaned so close to the globe that his nose was pressed against it. “See that place? The giant is said to be at large there, near Mt. Moon. No, no take my word for it,” continued Glint, shaking his head, “you’d better fly straight north. You may get your fur baked in the sun now and then, but look on the bright side: There probably won’t be much rain at this time of year. And rain,” he said, chuckling, “wouldn’t set well with our friend the Charizard.”

    “Good point,” replied Dock. “North it is.”

    “Let’s get on with it then.” Glint gave the globe another push. “Where was I? Oh, yes. Up to here”-he tapped the map with his paw-“I can offer you first-class information. By the time you reach this spot you ought to have most of your journey behind you. But this region beyond-” Glint sighed and shook his head. “Zilch, zero, nix, nix, nothing, total radio silence. Even a tourist party of Buizel I met down by the harbor last year couldn’t tell me anything useful. And I’m afraid that’s exactly where the place you’re looking for lies- if it really exists. I’m planning to ask a relation of mine to survey the area sometime soon, but until then,” he said shrugging his shoulders regretfully, “until then you’ll just have to ask your way- if you get that far. I’ve no idea who or what lives around there, but I’ll bet,” he said, stroking his orange and black tail, “I’ll bet there are Pikachu. We Pikachu go everywhere.”

    “That’s a great comfort, I’m sure,” muttered Dock, looking gloomily at the globe. “Looks like there’s a long flight ahead of us.”

    “Oh, it’s even farther to Sinnoh,” said Glint, swinging paw over paw back along the cord to the desk. “But I’ll admit it is a long way, even for a Charizard. Long and dangerous. May I ask what put the idea of such a journey into your minds? I know from Din that the dragons have quite a comfortable life down in the southern islands.”

    Dock looked at Jim and cast the Pikachu a warning glance.

    “Oh, I see.” Glint raised his paws. “You’d rather not say in front of this human. Of course. We Pikachus have had some bad experiences with humans, too.” Glint winked at Jim, who was standing there embarrassed and not sure where to look. “Nothing against you personally, understand?” Glint went back to his computer and began typing again. “Right, here goes. Destination: Mt. Coronet. Travel Party: one Charizard, one Ambipom. Travel options: calculate safest route, danger spots, places to avoid at all costs, best traveling time. Enter.”

    The Pikachu stepped back, looking pleased with himself. The computer hummed like a captive Beedrill, the screen flickered- and went black.

    “Oh, NO!” Glint jumped on the keyboard, hammering at it frantically, but the screen did not respond.

    Jim and Dock exchanged anxious glances. Glint leapt up, swearing, and slammed the lid of the P.C. back over the monitor.

    “Like I told you,” he said crossly. “Nothing but trouble. Just because a little salt water got into it. I mean, do you stop working if you happen to drink a sip of salt water?” Furiously he jumped off the desk and onto the chair that sheltered his little study, slid down one of the chair legs, and began rummaging around in the matchbox index-card files.

    Jim and Dock lay down on the floor and watched. “You mean you can’t help us after all?” asked Dock.

    “Yes, yes, I can.” Glint was fishing cards out of the files and flinging them down on the desk. “If that stupid thing won’t work I’ll just have to do it the old fashioned way. Can one of you open the third drawer down in the chest of drawers there?”

    Jim nodded. When he opened the drawer a large quantity of maps fell out: maps large and small, maps old and new. It took Glint some time to find the one he was after. It looked odd, quite different from the maps Jim knew, more like a small book folded up over and over again, with narrow red ribbons dangling from the pages.

    “A map?” said Dock, disappointed, when Glint proudly spread this oddity out in front of them. “You mean all you have for us is a map?”

    “Well what did you expect?” Looking offended, the Pikachu put his hands on his hips.

    Dock didn’t know what to say. Tight lipped, she stared down at the map.

    Look at that, will you?” Glint passed his paw lovingly over the seas and mountains. “This map’s got half the world on it. And very few blank spots- only those places I couldn’t discover anything about. But unfortunately, as I was saying, most of those are where you happen to be going. See these ribbons?” He beckoned the two of them over and pulled one of the ribbons. Part of the map immediately unfolded, and another map came into view.

    “Cool!” exclaimed Jim.

    But Dock just made a face. “What’s that for?”

    “This method,” said Glint, proudly twirling his tail, “is my own invention. By pulling the ribbons you can see each part of the map on a larger scale. Useful, don’t you think?” Looking pleased with himself, he closed the map again and tugged at his ear. “Now, what else? Oh, yes. Just a moment.” Glint took a little tray from his desk. On it stood six jars of ink, each on a different color. A Pidgey feather with its quill sharpened lay beside them.

    “I’ll write down the meaning of the different colors for you,” said Glint portentously. “I expect you to know the usual: green for lowland country, brown for mountains, blue for water, and so on and so forth. Everyone knows that, but my maps tell you more. For instance, I’ll use silver,” he said, dipping the pen into a container of bright silver paint, “for my recommended flight path. And purple,” he added, carefully wiping the pen on the leg of the chair and dipping it into the purple ink, “to shade in places you ought to avoid because of the large amounts of humans there. Red means I’ve heard strange stories about these parts, and misfortune clings to them like a Slugma trail, if you take my meaning. Yes, and gray means: This would be a good place to rest.” Glint wiped the pen on his orange fur and looked up at his two customers. “All clear?”

    “Yes,” growled Dock. “All clear.”

    “Excellent!” Glint put a paw in his desk drawer, brought out an ink pad and a tiny rubber stamp, and thumped it down on the bottom corner of the map as hard as he could. “There!” he said, inspecting the mark left by the stamp closely before nodding, satisfied. “Easily recognizable.” He dabbed at the mark with his tail, folded the map up with care, and looked expectantly at Dock. “So, now we come to the matter of payment.”

    “Payment?” said Dock, taken aback. “Din didn’t say anything about a fee.”

    Glint immediately put a protective paw down on the map. “Oh, didn’t she? Typical. Well, customers have to pay me. How they pay is something I leave to them, however.”

    “But I…I don’t have anything,” stammered Dock. “Only a few berries.”

    “Huh! You can keep those,” said Glint scornfully. “If that’s all you got then the deal’s off.”

    Dock tightened up her lips and rose. Glint came up to her chin. “I’ve a good mind to shut you in one of your own drawers!” hissed the Ambipom, leaning over him. “Since when do people ask to be paid for a little friendly help? You know something? If I wanted to I could just snatch that map from under your fat little ratty bum, but I don’t want to. We’ll find our way to Mt. Coconut, or whatever it’s called, without it!”

    “Just a moment,” Jim interjected. He pushed Dock aside and knelt down in front of the Pikachu. “Of course we’ll pay,” he said. “It must have been an awful lot of work making that map.”

    “I should say so!” squeaked Glint, still sounding affronted. His nose was quivering, and his lightning bolt-shaped tail was agitatedly twitching back and forth.

    Jim searched his pockets, took out two pieces of candy, a pencil, two rubber bands, and some apricorns. “Take your pick,” he said casually.

    Glint narrowed his eyes. “Hmm. A difficult decision,” he said, examining everything very thoroughly. Finally he pointed to the apricorns.

    Jim scooted them over. “Okay. Now let’s have the map.”

    Glint removed his paw from the map, and Jim put it in Dock’s backpack.

    “Give me the pencil, too,” squeaked the orange Pikachu, “and I’ll tell you something else that could be useful.”

    Jim pushed the pencil over to Glint and put the other things away. “Go on,” he said.

    Glint leaned slightly forward and whispered, “You’re not the only one’s looking for the Beacon of Fire.”

    “What?” gasped Dock, taken aback.

    “Fearows have been turning up here for years,” Glint went on, still in a whisper. “Very peculiar Fearows, if you ask me. They ask questions about the Beacon of Fire, but what they’re really interested in is the dragons said to be hiding there. Naturally I haven’t told them anything about the dragons in my dear cousin Din’s part of the world.”

    “Are you sure?” asked Dock suspiciously.

    Looking offended, Glint drew himself up to his full height. “Of course I’m sure. What do you take me for?” He wrinkled his nose. “They offered me lots of gold. Gold and emeralds and rubies and sapphires. But I didn’t care for those ugly brown birds."

    “Fearows?” asked Jim. “How come Fearows? What have they got to do with dragons?”

    “Oh, they don’t want the information for themselves.” Glint’s voice sank again. “They’re acting on behalf of someone else, but I haven’t found out who yet. Whoever it is, your Charizard had better be careful.”

    Dock nodded. “The Emerald One,” she murmured.

    Glint and Jim looked at her curiously.

    “What did you say?” asked the boy.

    “Oh, nothing.” She turned thoughtfully, and headed for the gap between the shelves.

    “Thanks, Glint, and good-bye,” said Jim, following her.

    “Give Din my love if you ever get back again!” the Pikachu called after them. “Tell her to come and see me again sometime. There’s a ferry quite close to your home, and they don’t usually cater to trainers.”

    “Oh, yes?” Dock turned back once more. “And what will you pay me to deliver your message?” Then, without waiting for Glint’s answer, she disappeared between the shelves.
    Last edited by miler567; 15th February 2009 at 5:22 AM.

    Credit goes to Skiyomi for the banner!

  17. #17
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    Chapter 2

    His bones ached from the damp, and the cold weather made his joints stiff.
    The damp and cool weather- sounds better

    The Legendaries will hold them at bay for a while, but they’ll get here sometime or other-because it’s this valley of yours they’re heading toward.
    I think if you said 'but they'll break through sometime or other' or something to the effect of getting passed the legendaries rather then making it to the valley.


    “Homesick for what? You think I’m going to wait here till the Magikarp come and nibble my fingers? No, I’m going with you.”
    I thought this was clever



    Chapter 3

    “I know a nice little spot over there beyond those hills. Why don’t we settle down here instead?”
    ‘Settle down there’ I think is what you mean


    Chapter 4


    “You’re quite something, too!” Are you some sort of new Pokémon?”
    Too many quotations.

    Also, Ambipoms are more suspicious you said. She didn’t seem to question the little boy. But, that's okay.


    So far, you have great description. The characters really do show themselves well. Each having their own personality. They all don't speak the same. Each has their own emotions. It is really well written. Are you a professional? Cause it is simply amazing.

    The story is also very interesting.

    So far,overall, I give this a Six out of Five.

    Tomorrow, I will read CH5

    ><> Truth

  18. #18
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    Thank you Chimecho! Your edits were dutifully noted! Hopefully Ch.5 lives up to your expectationss! Haha I guess actually planning out a fic instead of churning out a lame OT fic actually pays off lol

    Credit goes to Skiyomi for the banner!

  19. #19
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    Oh, my goodness!

    What kind of gem do we have here? A rather shiny one!

    Okay, sorry. This is not the way to start out a first review to someone I don't particularly know, now is it?

    Wow.

    (You know your fic is good when I start with a 'wow').

    Truly, this is good. I love it.

    Din, adorable. She has an electric personality (excuse the pun) and is just what I would expect from a Pikachu. Nicely done.

    Dock, amazing. I like a fiesty Ambipom and quite frankly, I have never read a fic with an Ambipom in it.

    Wyvern, amusing. His ignorance of the human world is kinda comical. But I don't question it because he's grown up among Pok&#233;mon, I assume.

    Glint. Ha! Love him. I never saw the 'pay me or no map' part coming. I thought since these guys are friends of Din, he would let it slide, but apparently not. A map for a pencil? I'd trade it any day. P:

    Wow. Again.

    I really love this. It's fics like these that make me want to write my own Pok&#233;mon-only fic. Or at least have the humans be the bad guys, as in this one.

    The Emerald One is Rayquaza, I know it. Plus, your banner kinda gives it away. :P

    Great, just wonderful story you got going here. I think you're a professional writer, like Chimecho said. You're just...wow. xD

    Please, keep it up!

    ~BM
    ~Keep on truckin'!~


    Thanks to Zadros for the banner!

    Not coming soon, but
    it's a pretty banner, yes?

  20. #20
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    Haha thanks blue mew! Yea the "Emerald One" thing wasn't exactly a well-kept secret but its okay cuz the whole thing will be revealed in a few chapters anyway...haha but its nice to have a new reader!

    Credit goes to Skiyomi for the banner!

  21. #21
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    This is a very good fic. I almost didn't read it cause I was expecting another Trainer fic or a PMD fic, but I was pleasantly surprised.

    I like dragons the most out of any pokemon and Charizard is my favarite pokemon.

    Was the Glint/Din relation supposed to be kinda like a Country mouse/city mouse kinda thing? It was funny either way.

    If you have a PM list could you please add me to it?
    Einstein: If life is XYZ then X = having fun Y = working hard and Z = knowing when to keep your mouth shut

  22. #22
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    Yea I'spose I could make a PM list. Anyone that wants on just ask.

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  23. #23
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    (You know your fic is good when I start with a 'wow').

    Truly, this is good. I love it.
    Agrees!

    Add me to the PM list please?

    “Anyone at home?” Oh, drat it, what was his name again? Gale- no, Glimp- no, Glint or something like that.”
    Again, too many quotations or too little lol!

    Anyways.

    I really do think you are an excellent writer. You portray the characters so wonderfully. The dialogue flows well. Descriptions is great. An amazing author I must say,

  24. #24
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    Haha dutifully noted yet again. Now that edits have been caught up thus far I'm readying ch. 6 for post. Stay tuned!

    Credit goes to Skiyomi for the banner!

  25. #25
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    Ch. 6) Flamethrower

    “Well we could have saved ourselves the trouble!” said Dock crossly once they were out in the street again. “We came to this city just so we could find the stuck-up rat, and what does he give us? Oh, stinking Salamence! A map, that’s all. Scribbles on a bit of paper! Huh! I could have found that fiery beacon thing just by following my nose.” She imitated Glint’s voice. “‘So, now we come to my payment.’ I ought to have tied that silly fat oaf to his globe with his own tail.”

    “Calm down, will you?” said Jim, pulling the hood up over Dock’s ears before he led the way along the street. “It’s not a bad map. There are some things your nose can’t tell you!”

    “You don’t know anything about it,” muttered Dock, plodding crossly after him. “You humans use your noses for nothing but sneezing.”

    For a while the two of them walked along in silence.

    “When are you going to leave?” Jim said at last.

    “As soon as it gets dark,” replied Dock, almost colliding with a fat trainer whose Flareon was sniffing its way along the pavement. The scarlet Pokémon raised its head in surprise when the scent of Ambipom reached its nostrils and tried to give chase before the trainer returned it. Jim quickly drew Dock away and into the nearest alleyway.

    “Come on,” he said. “There’s not much going on here. Anyway, we’re nearly back."

    “Bricks everywhere. Nothing but bricks!” Dock looked uneasily at the walls of the buildings. “My stomach’s rumbling louder than those machines with their engines. I’ll be glad to be out of here again.”

    “It must be really exciting to go on such a long journey,” said Jim.

    Dock wrinkled her forehead. “I’d rather have stayed on the dragon island. Much rather.”

    “But just think of going to Sinnoh!” It sounded so exciting to Jim that he started walking faster. “And flying on a Charizard’s back! Oh, wow!” He shook his head. “I’d be bursting with excitement! It sounds like a billion adventures all rolled into one!”

    Dock gaped at the boy, shaking her head. “Don’t be so dimwitted. What sort of adventures? It sounds to me like cold and hunger. It sounds like danger and fear. We were very well off at home, take my word for it! Rather too much rain, maybe, but it wasn’t that bad. You know something? It’s all because of you humans we’re going on this crazy journey. Because you won’t leave us alone. Because we have to find somewhere your nasty furless noses will never come poking in! Oh, why do I bother telling you all this? You’re one of them yourself. We’re escaping from humans and here I am hanging around with one! Now, that really is crazy!”

    Jim did not reply. Instead he hastily shoved Dock into the dark doorway of a building.

    “Hey! What’s the big idea?” She looked at the boy, irritated. “Did I say something? We have to cross the street, right? The mansion’s on the other side.”

    “Exactly. Can’t you see what’s over there?” whispered Jim.

    Dock peered over his shoulder. “Trainers!” she breathed. “Most of them look like Engineers. And they’ve got machinery with them, too.” She groaned.

    “You stay here,” Jim told her. “I’ll cross the road and find out what’s up.”

    “What?” Dock shook her head vigorously. “No, that’s a terrible idea! I have to warn Wyvern. At once!” And before Jim could stop her she was out in the street. She dodged between honking cars and scuttled over toward the mansion.

    Cursing, Jim ran after her.

    Luckily there was so much else going on around the mansion that no one noticed the two of them. A couple of men were standing beside a large bulldozer, talking to each other. Jim saw Dock hide behind the big scoop of the bulldozer to eavesdrop. Hastily he ran over to the machinery and crouched down beside her.

    “I can’t make out what they’re saying!” Dock whispered. “At least, I can hear them, all right, but I don’t understand what they mean. They keep talking about demolishing something. What’s that mean?”

    “Nothing good!” Jim hissed. “Come on, quick!” He pulled Dock to her feet and ran toward the mansion. “We’ve got to find Wyvern. We have to get him out of there somehow. And fast.”

    “Hey, you two! What are you up to?” someone called after them.

    They swiftly disappeared into the dark shelter of the tall building, but within moments they heard footsteps following them into the mansion. Heavy footsteps. “They went that way!” someone called. “It was a couple of kids!”

    “Darn it, how could a thing like this happen?” replied someone else.

    Jim and Dock ran through the empty, decrepit mansion basement. Their footsteps echoed down the long corridors, giving them away. But what else could they do? They had to warn the Charizard before anyone discovered him.

    “Suppose we’re too late?” gasped Dock. As she ran the hood slipped off her round ears, and quickly she pulled it up again. “Maybe they’ve already found Wyvern. Maybe they’ve already captured him.” She sobbed.

    “Nonsense! Hurry up!” Jim took her paw, and they ran on side by side. The footsteps behind them were closing in. Dock’s legs were trembling, but they were almost to Wyvern’s hiding place. Then Jim stopped suddenly, gasping for breath.

    “Wait a second- why didn’t I think of it before? We need to lead them away from Wyvern! You go on. Tell him to follow the canal to safety. The two of you must get as far away from this mansion as possible. This whole place is fixing to be a pile of dust.”

    “What about you?” panted Dock. “What will you do?”

    “I’ll be fine,” Jim managed to say. “Go on, run! You’ve got to warn Wyvern!”

    Dock hesitated for a split second, and then turned and bolted. The stairs were quite close now. She hurried around the corner and into the room where she had found Jim. The Charizard was lying asleep by the broken window.

    “Wyvern!” Dock jumped between his paws and shook his orange snout. “Wake up, we’ve got to get out of here. Quick!”

    The Charizard sleepily raised his head. “What’s the matter? Where’s the human boy?”

    “I’ll explain later!” hissed Dock. “Quick, get through the window!”

    But Wyvern raised his head to listen to the chaos around him. He rose and went slowly toward the corridor which Dock had just run down. He heard human voices: two deep male voices, and Jim’s as well.

    “So what d’you think you’re doing in here?” snapped one of the men.

    “Looks like a runaway to me,” said the other man.

    “No, I’m not!” cried Jim. “Let me go! I haven’t done anything wrong!”

    Looking anxious, the Charizard stretched his neck farther forward.

    “Wyvern!” Dock tugged desperately at his flaming tail. “Wyvern, come on! You have to get out of here!”

    “But the boy may need help.” The Charizard took another heavy step. The men’s voices grew harsher and Jim’s more and more tentative. “He’s scared,” said Wyvern.

    “He’s a HUMAN!” hissed Dock. “And they’re humans, too. They’re not gonna eat him. They won’t capture him, either, but they’ll catch us, make no mistake! So will you please come on?”

    But Wyvern wouldn’t move. His tail was lashing at the floor.

    “Hey, watch out, he’s trying to escape!” yelled one of the men.

    “Use your Magnemite!” shouted the other.

    Feet scuffled on the ground and there was the sound of a Pokéball coming open. Wyvern inched a little farther forward.

    “Stop or I’ll have my Magnemite use thunder wave!” shouted the man.

    “You wouldn’t attack a human with a Pokémon! You’re bluffing!” cried Jim.

    Fearing that Jim might try something foolish, like taking on a Pokémon, Wyvern sprang into action. With an unexpected athleticism, he shot across the floor of the mansion. Dock ran after him, cursing under her breath. The human voices grew louder and louder, until the Charizard suddenly saw two men and a Magnemite with their backs to him. Jim was pinned against the wall.

    Wyvern uttered a low growl. Deep and ominous.

    The trio whipped around- Jim quickly snuck around them and ran to Wyvern’s side.

    “You were supposed to escape!” he hissed. “I…”

    “Climb on,” the Charizard interrupted, without taking his eyes off the men and the Magnemite. All three stared at him, half petrified. Jim, his legs trembling, clambered up onto Wyvern’s back.

    “Get out of here,” the Charizard growled, malice hanging on every syllable. “This boy is mine!” His deep voice echoed throughout the damp basement.

    The men staggered and fell against each other in fear.

    “M-Magnemite…use thunder wave!” one of them stammered. “Bring that Ch-Charizard down!”

    Magnemite’s central eye closed and his silver orb-like body began to shake. Sparks of electricity started to build up around his magnetic polls. The men remained wide-eyed in fear.

    Before the thunder wave could be released, Wyvern opened his mouth, roared, and a huge plume of fire arched from his mouth. The flamethrower licked over the dirty walls, the dingy ceiling, the concrete floor, and filled the room with dancing flames. The defenseless Magnemite fainted upon impact and once it was returned, the men retreated and ran away screaming as if Darkrai itself was after them.

    “What’s up? What happened?” Out of breath, Dock caught up with Wyvern.

    “Quick, the canal!” cried Jim. “If they come back they’ll bring twenty more Magnemite with them.”

    “Climb on, Dock!” Wyvern said, listening uneasily to the fading echoes of the men’s footsteps. When Dock was finally on his back, the Charizard turned and strode back to their hiding place.

    Bright sunlight was still pouring between the shards of broken glass. Cautiously Wyvern put his snout outside.

    “It’s too bright!” Dock moaned. “Much too bright. How are we gonna get away undetected?”

    “Come on!” Jim grabbed the Ambipom’s hand and pulled her off the Charizard’s back with him as he scrambled down. “Wyvern must travel the canals alone. That way he can duck into the shadows and they won’t see him. We’ll take my boat.”

    “What?” Dock distrustfully flinched away from Jim and pressed closer to Wyvern. “Must we really separate again? How will we find each other?”

    “There’s a bridge.” Jim turned to the Charizard. “Travel down the canal on the left side and you can’t miss it. Hide under it until we arrive.”

    Wyvern looked at the boy thoughtfully. Finally he nodded. “Jim’s right, Dock,” he said. “Take care of yourselves, both of you.”

    Then he forced his way through the window, dropped down to the stony curb next to the water, and then disappeared into the shadows.

    Dock nervously watched him go, and without turning her head she asked, “Where’s this boat of yours, then?”

    “Here.” Jim went over to the stacked crates and pulled them aside. A silver-painted wooden boat lay against the wall.

    “That’s a boat?” asked Dock, horrified. “It’s made out of scrap wood!”

    “If you don’t like it you can swim,” said Jim.

    “Oh, darn it all!” Dock listened. She could hear agitated voices far, far way.
    Jim quickly crawled behind the stack of crates where he’d been hiding when they’d first met and came out again a holding large knapsack.

    “Coming?” he asked and pushed the boat over to the window.

    “We’ll drown, that’s what,” Dock muttered, staring with disgust at the murky water.

    But nonetheless, she helped the boy launch the boat into the canal.
    Last edited by miler567; 23rd February 2009 at 12:53 AM.

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