21st February 2009, 10:15 PM
The Winner Takes it All (AAML, Morpheusshipping, PG)
In keeping with posting my one-shots (and maybe I'll post my chaptered fics, too), here's this week's fic. Yes, it's a song-fic. Le gasp! I hope it doesn't stink, though, and that you'll still give it a chance.
The Winner Takes it All
I don’t wanna talk
About the things we’ve gone through
Though it’s hurting me
Now it’s history
I clench my fist inside my pocket, secretly gritting my teeth. Beside me May and Dawn cheer loudly, screaming Ash’s name, and Brock, who’s sitting beside me, beams like a proud older brother. The stadium erupts in deafening applause, each member clapping loudly and vigorously. Happiness radiates from every human being, happiness I, of course, share, although for me it’s more than a little bittersweet.
What can I say? Ash has finally done it, finally achieved his goal. Mr. Pokémon Master, my Mr. Pokémon Master, is now, honestly and truly, the master. He won the Pokémon League, defeating his rival Angie. No, I shouldn’t call her his rival, should I? For Angie is so much more than a rival to Ash.
I’ve played all my cards
And that’s what you’ve done, too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play
I glance out towards the middle of the stadium, where Ash stands proudly, Pikachu atop his erect shoulders. He grins at the crowd, and the crowd smiles back, proud to have witnessed the victory of one of the youngest winners of the Sinnoh League in history. Angie, the runner-up, has every reason to be happy, having just placed in the Top Two. Of course, in my eyes she has much more than that to be happy about, for in my eyes she might as well have won the tournament.
The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That’s her destiny
Ash made the announcement last night. Blushing profusely, he walked into the Pokémon Center holding Angie’s hand. When I saw it my stomach dropped to the floor, my legs almost giving way. I had to grasp the wall to steady myself. There it was right in front of me, the confirmation of my worst fears. I could barely hear the words Ash said, although I’m sure I would have loved to hear his voice, so timid and precious as he announced his relationship with Angie to all of his friends, his words full of both trepidation and excitement.
I wished I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
How long have I loved Ash? The funny tricks of time make it difficult for me to remember, to be honest. It feels like it’s been forever, but I know that must be wrong, for I haven’t even known Ash for half my life. Still, it feels like an eternity. Love can do that, I guess. I’ve always believed in our “Happily Ever After,” thinking that Ash and I would someday be a couple. I thought we were meant for each other, a perfect match. Sure, we argued with each other, but didn’t Ash know that I only teased him because he was so special to me, because I had no other way of safely expressing my feelings towards him?
Building me a home
Thinking I’d be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules
Apparently I lost my chance. How many opportunities did I have to tell Ash how I felt about him? Every night when we traveled together, every night laying under the star filled sky, I longed to confess my feelings to Ash, to tell him the words my heart longed to express, but every time I lost my nerve. What if he didn’t love me back? Ash was, and still is, my best friend; our friendship was too important to me to risk it all for my feelings. Maybe, just maybe, though, if I had had the courage to say what I felt, maybe he’d be with me now instead of Angie. I waited too long, though.
The gods may throw the dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
Now I’ve lost Ash for good. He’s Angie’s now. All my dreams about our first kiss, our wedding day, the birth of our first child, and growing old together have evaporated into little more than tiny wisps of smoke, each floating increasingly out of reach. I will never be able to grasp them again.
Maybe if I had never gone away, never returned to Cerulean City to take care of the gym in my sisters’ absence, this would not have happened. Perhaps if I had been there to cheer on Ash during his battles in Hoenn and Sinnoh, to congratulate him after every capture and evolution, to wish him sweet dreams every night, perhaps then I would have had my opportunity; perhaps then I would have developed the courage to tell Ash how I really felt.
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It’s simple and it’s plain
Why should I complain?
No, that’s not right either, though. For it wasn’t May or Dawn, the two girls who traveled with him and experienced every up and down with him, who captured Ash’s heart, but it was Angie…Angie, the girl he just met. Didn’t our years together mean anything to him? Didn’t the fact that I fished him out of the river, that I risked my life to save his on Shamouti Island, that I gave up a loving and secure relationship with Rudy to be with him, affect Ash in any way? What about all of the special moments we shared together, the fact that I stuck with him until the very end and left not because I wanted to but because my family forced me to? I never wanted to separate from Ash, never wanted this to happen.
But tell me does she kiss
Like I wanted to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
I watch Angie place a congratulatory kiss on Ash’s cheek; both her face and Ash’s turn bright red. How many times have I pictured this moment, the moment when Ash would win the Pokémon League? I imagined how I would congratulate Ash, and I’d be lying if I said a kiss on the cheek never crossed my mind. Maybe, just maybe I’d even confess to him at that moment. Of course, now I’ve lost that opportunity for good.
Maybe I’m naďve for thinking that Ash would never find someone else, that no one else would fall for him the way I’ve fallen for him, that everyone else would be scared to confess the way I was. Yes, perhaps that’s true. One who hasn’t been in my position can’t possibly understand what was at stake, though, everything I had to lose. What if I ruined our relationship forever, though? What if I lost my best friend? Ash is, first and foremost, my very best friend, and I will retain that role forever, no matter what heartache he puts me through. I will do that because I love him.
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say?
Rules must be obeyed
Those around me burst with happiness as Ash, Angie, and the third place finisher mount the victory podium. I feel happiness, too; yes, above all I am happy that Ash has won. The truth is that I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time, cheering on Ash from afar, always rooting for him. No one could possibly believe in Ash more than I did, for, no matter what I might have said in the past, I’ve had faith in my Pokémon Master from the very first moment I witnessed his interaction with Pikachu and Caterpie.
I know I will miss Ash more than anything, that I will miss the dreams I had for our future. I already feel as though I’ve lost both him and a part of myself, perhaps forever. Still, without infringing on Ash and Angie’s relationship, I will cling to what remains.
The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
Angie seems like a nice girl. (She’d better be, for my Ash doesn’t deserve anyone less!) I think she treats Ash well, and they seem happy together. Still, I can’t help but laugh at how they bicker, how shy she seems when it comes to her feelings, how tomboyish she is. No, the irony of these things isn’t lost on me.
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all
The crowd begins to disperse throughout the stadium. Somehow I’ve missed the entirety of the closing ceremonies without even realizing it. Brock, May, and Dawn rise from their seats and approach Ash in the middle of the stadium to offer their congratulations. Tracey hesitates slightly, placing a firm hand on my shoulder and squeezing tightly. He knows.
It pains me to think that in Ash’s eyes I’m no different from these people, no different from May, Dawn, Brock, and Tracey. After all, I’m just a friend, nothing more. That’s all I’ll ever be.
I don’t want to talk
'Cause it makes me feel sad
And I understand
You’ve come to shake my hand
I’m still sitting in my seat as midnight approaches, watching the starry sky and seeing in every star a missed opportunity to confess my feelings I had, for my opportunities, like the stars, were infinite; I just didn’t take advantage of them.
Suddenly a figure enters the stadium. I don’t even have to look up to see who it is or to know why he’s here.
“Misty, I missed you at closing ceremonies.” Ash approaches me from the darkness, a frown etched across his dirty face.
“Ash…oh. I’m sorry.”
“That’s OK. Can you believe I won?” A goofy grin appears on Ash’s face, almost as if by magic. I want to capture it forever, to never lose it, for I know he will be reserving most of his trademark smiles for Angie now.
“Of course I can. I’ve always believed in you…” I end up sounding more hurt than I had intended, not to mention revealing more information than I had hoped to. I need to choose my words more carefully.
“Heh, I know. Thanks, Mist.”
Mist…Ash’s pet name for me. I wonder if he has a pet name for Angie.
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
We sit in silence for a while, neither one of us knowing what to say. Finally, when the silence becomes excruciating, I break it.
“Congratulations, Ash…on both accounts.”
Ash looks confused for a minute. Did I mention that one of the things I love most about him is how dense he can be. It’s adorable and…OK, I need to stop. There can be no more of this for me.
Anyway, Ash catches on and turns a dark crimson. “Thank you, Misty.” He pauses, then adds, “for everything.”
Ash then turns and walks out of the stadium. Finally, now that I’m alone, I let the tears fall.
But you see
The winner takes it all
I don’t let them fall for long, though. No, I must move on. I will always love Ash, and he will always have a special place in my heart, but there are too many things to be happy about, like the fact that Ash has won and the fact that I have such a wonderful friend. I smile.
Still, it hurts. After all…
The winner takes it all…
I'm sorry if that was torture. Also, sorry for making Ash end up with someone other than Misty. It won't happen again. XD