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Thread: Femme - OysterShipping (MistyxDawn) (NC-17)

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    Default Femme - OysterShipping (MistyxDawn) (NC-17)

    *Chapter 2 & 3 Now Available for Reading in separate posts* Topic title finally changed thanks to Chelc <3

    Ship: OysterShipping (Misty x Dawn)
    Rating: NC-17 for use of explicit words and very strong sexual description.

    It's set currently set in future Sinnoh, when the characters are a little bit older then they are portrayed in the anime.

    Misty x Dawn -Couple - Claimed by me, DryBones. Fan Banner by me (want one similar? PM me and I'd be happy to make one)

    Note to Mods: Although I have clearly stated that this includes mature content, if there's a problem with some of my wording (i've tried to keep it as professional as possible) please let me know and I will try to re-word.
        Spoiler:- OysterShipping Banner:


        Spoiler:- Chapter 1 - The Beginning:
    Last edited by DryBones; 24th February 2009 at 9:10 PM. Reason: Chapter 3!

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    Interesting use of the character there, Dave. Other than the standard "OMG YOu needz to use proper indentationz" and that stuff, it's a pretty nice read.

    And a nice day to you, too.

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    Whoa interesting. Dawn as the seme in this fic, very nice twist. I liked reading it. ^^

    Though, FateShipping is Harrison, Sneasel & Blaziken & OysterShipping is Misty & Dawn

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    Thanks for your comments guys ^_^ . If needs be, I can try and reformat it at a later date once I get a bit more feedback. I've always been a fan of Misty and Dawn is pretty cute, in an illustrative sense so I thought I might as well see if I can blossom some kind of hidden relationship between the two of them.

    If people like this, then, I might write another part to it or something, who knows.

    I cant really make it any more clear that it has strong content in it lol and if there was something higher than 'NC-17' I guess it would be in there. So to my knowledge, the content is breaking no rules as Ive kept the detail as 'pro' as possible without ruining the sexual tension.

    Also in reply to Koneko's comment: I didnt realise there was another ship called FateShipping, my bad xD. If there is a disruption about it, then I can easily re-do the art and topic title.
    Last edited by DryBones; 22nd February 2009 at 9:48 PM.

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    It's not a disruption, per se. It's simply correct labeling: any Misty/Dawn fans won't be searching 'fateshipping', meaning you won't get hits from outside search engines. It's not a bad skim-- (the only think I say you have absolute problems with is proper quoting.

    "Hello," said Dawn.

    "Hello." Misty turned the page in her book.

    "Do you have this CD?" asked Dawn.

    "Totally!" piped Misty.

    Comma when a quote generally ends with a period, and only then. Period when there's no follow-up to the sentence.)

    --so a few Googlers might regret missing out. They'll be searching Oystershipping, not Fateshipping.
    Yaoi is a genre of homosexuality, not a synonym for it!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toran Frostbite View Post
    It's not a disruption, per se. It's simply correct labeling: any Misty/Dawn fans won't be searching 'fateshipping', meaning you won't get hits from outside search engines. It's not a bad skim-- (the only think I say you have absolute problems with is proper quoting.

    "Hello," said Dawn.

    "Hello." Misty turned the page in her book.

    "Do you have this CD?" asked Dawn.

    "Totally!" piped Misty.

    Comma when a quote generally ends with a period, and only then. Period when there's no follow-up to the sentence.)

    --so a few Googlers might regret missing out. They'll be searching Oystershipping, not Fateshipping.
    Thanks for your constructive criticism; I plan to do another chapter to this at some point so I'll keep your advice in mind about the punctuation etc.

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    Chapter Two is now available for reading. The first post is updated.

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    Heh. Ash's lines still make me chuckle a bit, just seeing him with a large background character role is nice to see.

    But, like others said, I'd op with the change to set it with the more given shipping name, Oystershipping. Still look forward for the third part.
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    Quote Originally Posted by LightingKimba View Post
    Heh. Ash's lines still make me chuckle a bit, just seeing him with a large background character role is nice to see.

    But, like others said, I'd op with the change to set it with the more given shipping name, Oystershipping. Still look forward for the third part.
    Thanks~

    Blehh, I'd like to change it to OysterShipping but it wont let me change the topic title -_-;

    I'm not too fussed about getting hits via search engines or 3rd party forums and websites, it's only a fun story that I enjoy adding chapters to.

    So yeah, for now, I'll keep it as FateShipping.

    btw, Chapter 3 will should be finished quite soon, I'm just adding the final touches.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DryBones View Post
    Thanks~

    Blehh, I'd like to change it to OysterShipping but it wont let me change the topic title -_-;

    I'm not too fussed about getting hits via search engines or 3rd party forums and websites, it's only a fun story that I enjoy adding chapters to.

    So yeah, for now, I'll keep it as FateShipping.

    btw, Chapter 3 will should be finished quite soon, I'm just adding the final touches.
    Similar thing happens to me on "Like a Line Drive!" fic. For some bothersome reason, I can't edit the first post at all, leaving it look shoddy, and also the fact that I can't the rating to T, so... Meh. Errors going around the board.
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    Default Chapter 3

    Quote Originally Posted by LightingKimba View Post
    Similar thing happens to me on "Like a Line Drive!" fic. For some bothersome reason, I can't edit the first post at all, leaving it look shoddy, and also the fact that I can't the rating to T, so... Meh. Errors going around the board.
    Ah right ok, so you're having issues too eh?
    Heh.

    Chapter 3, entitled "Lust Before Daybreak" is now available for reading in the 1st post.

    Chapter 3 does involve another graphic and adult love scene. Younger readers, you have been warned

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    I did spy a few typos in the 3rd chapter (Noted that Misty was named May for a few paragraphs), but it's interesting to see that Ash's signature flyer seems to be Staraptor instead of any of his other birds.

    Keep up the good work, mah friend.
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    Quote Originally Posted by LightingKimba View Post
    I did spy a few typos in the 3rd chapter (Noted that Misty was named May for a few paragraphs), but it's interesting to see that Ash's signature flyer seems to be Staraptor instead of any of his other birds.

    Keep up the good work, mah friend.
    Thanks again for your praising response, Will. I just re-read the 3rd chapter and found a few typo's, as you pointed out (thanks~)

    Dunno why I accidentally called named Misty as May, i think i should get some sleep myself xD

    I plan to start Chapter 4 tomorrow =)

    I'll make sure to rate and comment on your fanfic as well, when I get the time.

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    Hey Drybones.
    As a lover of Oystershipping or fateshipping you call it. I'm thrilled to see a fic like this. And I do enjoy well structured NC-17 fics. Nice banner BTW.

    Just some little tips for you
    * Each chapter is best in a different post, just makes it look more organized. =P. Edit button to the rescue? But Sppf servers can be quite glitchy, but if you check up on the shipping fic guideline I think it has it all there.

    * Try not to post all the chapters at once, I know it's exciting sharing your stuff but too much flooding will make it hard for us readers to catch up with you.

    So onto the story... lots of yuri sex, interesting indeed. Very enjoyable and I got good imagery of Dawn x Misty sex. This reminds me of the first fic I did for my OTP, of course yours is much better written, with readable grammar. I did enjoy the story line very much; PWPS are a guilty pleasure. I like your style of writing, too. It was simple and it had some nice flow and the mood of lust was defiantly there.

    As Katsu said, Dawn as a seme is quite different. So this fic has been a bit refreshing.

    Some nits, Ash seems to be quite angry, though if he gets miserable by age, that might be fine. I did spot a long run-on sentence and now I can't seem to find it. There's this rule about not having so many words that end in ly and I spotted quite a lot. I think some might find it distracting but I kinda think it did have a good rhythm.

    Characterization IMO was a bit odd but at the same time I can imagine Dawn being all kinky.

    So keep this coming, I got a feeling this could go somewhere with a great plot twist.
    Last edited by ChloboShoka; 24th February 2009 at 12:32 AM.


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    Quote Originally Posted by C.Gholy View Post
    you.

    Some nits, Ash seems to be quite angry, though if he gets miserable by age, that might be fine. I did spot a long run-on sentence and now I can't seem to find it. There's this rule about not having so many words that end in ly and I spotted quite a lot. I think some might find it distracting but I kinda think it did have a good rhythm.

    Characterization IMO was a bit odd but at the same time I can imagine Dawn being all kinky.

    So keep this coming, I got a feeling this could go somewhere with a great plot twist.
    inb4Ash got owned by Paul in the Sinnoh League.
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    Quote Originally Posted by C.Gholy View Post
    Hey Drybones.
    As a lover of Oystershipping or fateshipping you call it. I'm thrilled to see a fic like this. And I do enjoy well structured NC-17 fics. Nice banner BTW.

    Just some little tips for you
    * Each chapter is best in a different post, just makes it look more organized. =P. Edit button to the rescue? But Sppf servers can be quite glitchy, but if you check up on the shipping fic guideline I think it has it all there.

    * Try not to post all the chapters at once, I know it's exciting sharing your stuff but too much flooding will make it hard for us readers to catch up with you.

    So onto the story... lots of yuri sex, interesting indeed. Very enjoyable and I got good imagery of Dawn x Misty sex. This reminds me of the first fic I did for my OTP, of course yours is much better written, with readable grammar. I did enjoy the story line very much; PWPS are a guilty pleasure. I like your style of writing, too. It was simple and it had some nice flow and the mood of lust was defiantly there.

    As Katsu said, Dawn as a seme is quite different. So this fic has been a bit refreshing.

    Some nits, Ash seems to be quite angry, though if he gets miserable by age, that might be fine. I did spot a long run-on sentence and now I can't seem to find it. There's this rule about not having so many words that end in ly and I spotted quite a lot. I think some might find it distracting but I kinda think it did have a good rhythm.

    Characterization IMO was a bit odd but at the same time I can imagine Dawn being all kinky.

    So keep this coming, I got a feeling this could go somewhere with a great plot twist.
    I'm glad that you're enjoying it Chloe, I didnt think many users would approve of such a graphic and detailed story; I was expecting most to turn a blind eye and just ignore it. =)

    Thank you for your tips, it's good to read some comments by respected users such as yourself and Kimba along with the other two posters. So, tonight I'll make new posts for Chapters 2 and 3 and replace the ones in Post 1, for hyperlinks instead.

    I was planning on getting Chapter 4 finished asap, but after reading your post, I'm sure it wouldnt hurt to prolong it's release.

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    Chapter Two, moved into a new post for easier reading.

        Spoiler:- Chapter 2 - The Return:

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    Chapter Three, moved into a new post for easier reading.

        Spoiler:- Chapter 3 - Lust Before Daybreak:

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