Muahaha, my April Fools fic, which is... uh, kinda late ^^; Sorry guys, I meant to have this up a few hours earlier, but real life called. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Pokémon, all names & everything in relation, is the property of Satoshi Tajiri and his
Title: I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good
Archive: you're looking at it
Rating: PG, for slight language
Pairing/s: Ash x Gary (PalletShipping)
Word Count: 2,568
Every year, every stinkin year, for as long as I can remember, that jerk Gary has always pulled an April Fool's Day joke on me. Once, he replaced my toothpaste with glue, so my toothbrush ended up glued to my teeth when I went to use the brush! Another time, he used a Caterpie's String Shot to make my house look like it had been toilet-papered. (Mom yelled at me for that...) And last year, he stole my hat and put itching powder in it! I freakin' thought I had lice! I don't even know how he does it! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!
But no more. This year, it's my time for payback.
"Just let it go, Ash," Brock reasoned. "He can't get you now that you're all the way in Sinnoh."
"Ah, but you're forgetting that he's also in Sinnoh, Brock. I wouldn't have Gliscor if he hadn't shown up when he did."
"Exactly my point! If he didn't care at all, you'd be roadkill at the bottom of that chasm. Plus, he's off at Lake Valor, researching the Pokémon that live there. I highly doubt he'd come all the way up to Snowpoint City just to prank you for April Fool's, Ash."
"Oho, but you don't know Gary like I do! He's got something planned, I just know it!" I grabbed my backpack and stormed out of the PokéCenter room with a slam of the door.
Brock shook his head.
"And by the way," I added, swinging the door open. "Just because he gave me a Razor Fang to evolve my Gligar, it does not mean he cares!" The door slammed again.
* * *
Sitting in the library of the PokéCenter, Pikachu waited as I mapped out Gary's perfect demise at the hands of my prank.
"Hey Ash! Whatcha doin'?" Dawn's sudden appearance caused me to yelp and fall out of my chair. "Sorry..."
"Dawn, you scared me half to death!"
"Pika! Pikachu!" Pikachu added angrily.
"I said I was sorry," Dawn replied sullenly, and sat on the adjoining chair. "Brock said you were planning some kind of prank."
"That's right," I regained my old chair. "You remember Gary, right? I'm gonna pay him back for all the pranks he's ever done to me!"
Dawn looked at me in puzzlement. "But Ash, doesn't it seem silly to be so obsessed over a few harmless pranks?"
"Harmless! What about the toothbrush thing, and the Caterpie thing, and the hat thing?! Trust me, Dawn, he wasn't doing those pranks by accident. AND TODAY, VENGEANCE SHALL BE MINE!"
There was a slightly stunned silence in the lobby. When Dawn spoke up, I realized that everyone had been staring at me during my evil tirade. "Wow, Brock's right. You are obsessed."
* * *
I think I need new friends. Ones who think it's perfectly healthy to exact revenge on the bigheaded jerk who's been pranking me all these years.
Hey, I should maybe explain my plan, shouldn't I? Well, I've laid a trap for Gary to get him up here, in Snowpoint. I sent Professor Oak a message, asking if he could get Gary up here. Professor Oak went along with it, although he seemed a bit suspicious... Well, I got a message from Oak today that Gary would be on his way, so he should be here within the next few hours. Then, when he gets his room, that’s when I'll strike with a trap so fiendishly evil that it will put all his years of past pranks to shame.
Oh well, time for an inventory checklist. Rubber chicken, check. Duct tape, check. String, check... What, you still here? Go away! I need time to set up!
* * *
Hehehehe. At last, my plan is nearing completion! I've set up my master trap in one of the PokéCenter's rooms. Once Gary gets here, I'm gonna make sure that he gets the room I booby trapped. And when he opens the door – BAM! Revenge City.
"Ash, I'm scared to ask, but why do you look like you've been doing something evil?"
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," I replied to Brock in devilish honesty. The satisfied grin must've been pretty apparent, because both Brock and Dawn sighed.
"We're gonna go grab some lunch. Let us know if you changed your wicked ways," Brock then turned and left dramatically, with Dawn at his heels.
Hmm, lunch... Oops, no time for lunch now. I have to keep an eye out for Gary's grand entrance.
* * *
"Tremble, citizens of Snowpoint City, for I am here." That's the kind of greeting I'd expected from Gary.
Unfortunately, his entrance went something like this:
Followed by my startled yelp.
Gary was folded in half, holding his stomach as he roared with laughter. "Ash Ketchum, you're still just as easy as ever!"
Try as I might, I couldn't hide my embarrassed blush from the people in the lobby, craning their necks to look at the scene I'd caused. Stupid me, turning my back to the entrance, when I was supposed to be on lookout for that jerk. It's slipshot is what it is! Stupid, stupid, stupid!
* * *
Once Gary finally stopped mocking me, and the color drained from my face, he straightened up and apologized.
"Sorry, kiddo. I didn't mean to embarrass you so badly. We cool?" He then offered his hand for me to shake.
Ohoho, I see what's going on. I bet he's wearing a hand buzzer. Real cute...
"Yeah, sure," I scratched the back of my head instead. "Hey listen, why don't you drop your bags somewhere, and come get lunch with Brock, Dawn and I."
"Uh, okay," Gary replied. "I've just gotta find a room first," he hoisted his backpack onto his shoulders, and made for the nearest available room.
"W-wait!" I caught his shoulder. "You don't want that room. It's too close to the Front Desk," I whirled Gary around in the other direction. "Why don't you choose this room!" I shoved him down the hallway a bit, to the door where my trap had been laid. "It’s right beside my room, so we can hang out and stuff."
"O... kay..." Gary reluctantly agreed, and reached for the handle. I felt my breath catch in my throat, and –
"Hey, Gary, what are you doing here?" Dawn's chipper voice washed over me in cold disillusion. Remind me to send her a thank-you basket for interrupting my moment of glory.
"Hey Dawn, Brock," Gary smiled at them. "My grandpa suggested I should come stay up here for a bit. I had no idea I’d be running into you guys here!"
Pff, lying to cover my tracks. Wait, what? Why would he lie like that? Not that I'm complaining, since Brock would've busted me if he hadn't...
"Ah, too bad we just had lunch," Brock hedged. "We would have waited for you if we had known you were coming."
"Hey, don't worry about it," Gary beamed at him. "I can always have lunch with Ashy-boy here. Eh, kid?"
GRR, I HATE THAT GOD DAMN PET NAME.
"Sure, Gary! Sounds great!" I faked the biggest smile ever. "But first, why don't you drop your bags in this room here?" I gestured to the door that led to my brainchild prank designed for Gary.
"Nonsense, he can bunk with us!" Brock's suggestion made my stomach drop. "After all, there's four beds to a room, but there's only three of us! You don't mind, do you Gary?"
"Not at all," Gary replied sweetly, as Dawn opened the door to our room with the swiftest of ease.
Remind me to kick Brock in the shins later.
* * *
Lunch and dinner came and went. Everyone stored their Pokémon for healing, and picked them up later. All the while, as my friends chatted with my arch-nemesis, I ran through all kinds of plots that would somehow get Gary to open that door.
By the time that Lights Out came, I panicked.
Trainers were preparing for bed, as the Center usually shuts down for the night at 11. I had to change into my pajamas with my back to Gary, something I'd never have wanted to do, ever.
At 10:45, I abandoned that prank room plan and made a completely new prank on the fly.
"You, uh, heard about the comet?"
"What comet?" Three voices chorused in reply.
Seriously, I didn't know Brock and Dawn had legally changed their names to Gary today. Ugh.
"There's supposedly some kind of comet that lights up the Sinnoh sky every few years," I lied through my teeth. "I heard it's supposed to show up near here tonight."
"Huh, I didn't know that," Gary mused.
"Neither did I," replied Brock carefully. Curse him and his inside-out knowledge of my nature.
"Oh, yeah. It's supposed to be something special," I lied again. "You wanna go check it out?" I looked pointedly at Gary this time.
"But we're in our pajamas," piped up Dawn.
"Ah, it shouldn't take long. Right, Ash?" Gary looked at me with such wide and innocent eyes. I despise that.
"You bet! Not long at all."
* * *
Wrapped in fleece blankets, the four of us stood outside the Snowpoint Pokémon Center. Three of us gazing up at the night sky quizzically, while the fourth inched his way behind Gary to push him into a snow bank.
"I-I d-d-don't see any-t-thing, Ash," Dawn complained. She was already chattering in the cold.
"It's pretty cloudy tonight. You sure that the comet is here?" Brock added.
"Keep looking," I told them. "It might take another minute or two." Or, about enough time for me to let Gary eat snow.
"Well, I'm freezing," Dawn stomped off into the Pokémon Center. "Call me when you see it."
"Yeah, I'm pretty cold too. I'm going in with Dawn," Brock turned and trudged inside, taking the time to shoot me a nasty look that read, 'You better not be up to no good, Ash Ketchum.'
Once I heard the click of the Center’s door, I braced myself. I put out my arms, took a deep breath, and began to glide forward.
This is it! My finest hour! The perfect revenge! Nothing could possibly ruin this moment!
... That is, until I felt the ground disappear from under me, and a loud THWACK as my head hit the icy ground.
"Ash! My god, are you alright?"
Gary was kneeling at my side in an instant. The murky night sky swam before my eyes. Who knew ice was so damn painful?
"A-okay, mister spaceman..."
In a flash, I was sitting upright, and I found myself looking into a pair of concerned green eyes. That's when my senses caught up with me.
"WOAH! Jesus, man! What the heck are you doing standing so close to me?!" I took a giant butt-scooch backwards. To my horror, my grand, master prank has been forever ruined by a stupid patch of ice. Now I'll never get my revenge on that idiot!
"Well, glad to see there isn't much brain damage," replied Gary sardonically. "Not like you could spare any brain cells to begin with."
"Oh yeah?!" I got up on my feet as quick as I could. "Well, isn't that what you wanted? You wanted me to fall for one of your stupid April Fools pranks, just like I have every year that we've known each other! Well guess what, Gary? I ain't falling for any of your dumb pranks! So drop the fake concern and put your fiendish prank away for next year!"
"For god's sake, will you listen?!"
There was a moment of silence. It went from terse to somewhat awkward.
Then Gary spoke again. "I wasn't planning on pranking you, alright? Or get you into trouble with Brock," he was referring to his cover-up for me earlier. "Otherwise, don't you think I would have done it by now? I'm not some kind of schemer, who sits on his plots for weeks on end only to see them backfire in an instant." Looks like he knows about the prank room. And everything else, apparently.
A sigh. "I didn't mean for this to turn into a fight, Gary. I just wanted a bit of revenge for all the stupid pranks you've pulled on me through the years. I guess I got a bit too involved, huh?"
"More like a lot involved," he grinned in reply. "I didn't mean to make you paranoid, or wanting revenge. None of this would've happened if it weren't for me. I'm sorry, Ash. Okay?"
I looked at him for a second. His usual swagger was replaced with a sheepish expression and an acknowledging voice. You know, he really does seem sorry.
"Yeah, okay..." I reached my hand out to shake his. He wore no hand buzzer, like I had expected.
So... no what?
"Would you look at that?" Gary's voice was stunned by what he saw. There, in the sky, was a comet, followed by a dazzlingly colorful trail of space dust.
Wow, there really was a comet after all.
"S… should we call Brock and Dawn out?" I stuttered. I was still in shock with everything that had just happened.
Gary smiled at me. It wasn’t a cocky smile. It was a warm, almost tender smile. "Not just yet," he replied.
I joined him to watch the comet shoot by. And I felt oddly safe and comforted throughout it all.
* * *
The next day, Brock, Dawn and I had to pack up and head out. Sunyshore Gym awaits, after all. All through breakfast, Dawn complained at how we didn't call her and Brock out to see the comet. I guess it just... slipped our minds.
Gary stood at the door of the Pokémon Center and waved us off. We walked down the trail, waving and shouting goodbyes until he disappeared from view.
"You know, I'm gonna miss it here," I told my friends as we started down our path. "It's a nice place to be."
"Especially if you're with someone like Gary" chided Dawn.
"Wha– hey! Just what does that mean?!" Dawn merely giggled in reply.
Well, I didn't have the vengeful April 1st that I had wanted, but in a way, I kinda guess I got something better.
... Okay, that does not leave this room.
But there's something I wonder. If Gary wouldn't open the door to that prank room I had set up, which poor soul would get the shock of their life?
Hm, I guess I'll never know.
End of Ash’s POV
* * *
Meanwhile, at the Snowpoint Pokémon Center…
"Here, kid. You can take this room. It's totally set up just for you," Gary smiled and showed the purple-haired trainer the door to the room beside his own. "I'm a friend of Ash Ketchum. He says it's just what you need."
"Whatever," snapped Paul, slamming the door open and shut behind him in a swift motion.
There was a split-second of silence that gave Gary the escape opportunity that he would need. An unholy racket rose from the room, followed by astonished and angered cries.
"ASH KETCHUM! YOU ARE SO F*CKING DEAD!" roared Paul as Gary sprinted down the trail from the Pokémon Center.
Gary's laughter was carried away by an arctic blast of wind. It was such a shame that his April Fools prank for Ash would be a few days late this year.
*maniacal cackle* Aren't I evil? >D
Ahaha, I hope you all enjoyed my little Pallet-Shippy prank fic ^_^ Don’t forget to leave me a little review~