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Thread: Dimensions of Darkness Book 1: The Explorers of Nightmares

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    Default Dimensions of Darkness Book 1: The Explorers of Nightmares

    Welcome, one and all, to Book 1 of the Dimensions of Darkness Trilogy, which shall become the greatest reading sensation to hit the Fan Fiction section in history! Or, at least in the last couple days. Which is a start for me! And now, it shall begin!

    (Rated PG-13 for peril and mild fantasy violence)

    Dimensions of Darkness Book 1: The Explorers of Nightmares

        Spoiler:- Character List:



        Spoiler:- Terms to Know:



        Spoiler:- Attack List-SPOILERS!!!:


        Spoiler:- Backstory-SPOILERS:



    Chapter 1

    Time: Far far in the future.

    Location: Hard to tell. Everything looks the same. Everything is dull and gray.

    All is still. Soon, all will be still for the rest of eternity. This world is changing, and not for the better. However, not many are left to mourn for the collapse of the future. An overshadowed tyrant, alone in the shadows, does what he can to hold up his future. His ghostly assistant and his vicious assassins have disappeared on their final mission. However, there are some that will be missed. A hero in ages past and present and his time-traveling ally have already been wept for. They're not gone yet, though. Which brings us to today.

    "You have to go."

    "No. You've been telling me this over and over, and I'm going to keep answering over and over. No. I'm not leaving you."

    Two hunched figures stood before a glowing blue tunnel. The light pulsed rythmically, casting its gentle light over the gray dirt and soil before it. Somewhere nearby, the thuds of many pairs of running feet rapidly approached.

    "You can go through The Passage before it shuts," the larger figure argued. "If we both go, the others can sneak in after us. One of us has to stay behind to keep them from coming, and I can guarantee that it's not going to be you."

    "Well, I can guarantee that it's not going to be you." The small, pink figure's cheeks turned a rosey red. "I'm staying, no matter what you do. I can't lose you again, Grovyle."

    Grovyle blushed and stared back at his partner. "But if you stay, it will be like I lost you. I can't bear that thought, Celebi."

    With that, the Sableye were upon them. There were over a dozen of them, and they were ready for a fight. Grovyle quickly stepped up in front of Celebi as the first of his attackers pounced. The leaves on his wrist extended into a Leaf Blade attack and he swung in a wild arc. Three Sableye fell to the hit, but the rest pulled back and leapt forward again. Grovyle continued to knock them back. Celebi watched on helplessly as the merciless purple army came at her best friend with their claws, only to be fended off by Leaf Blade after Leaf Blade.

    "Celebi!" Grovyle grimaced as a Sableye scratched him across the face. "Go into the Passage! NOW!"

    "No!" Tears ran down Celebi's cheeks. "I'm not leaving you! I'm never leaving!"

    "You can be sure of that."

    Grovyle and Celebi whirled around in surprise. The Sableye fell back, retreating into the shadows. Their master had arrived. It would be best to leave him to his work. Floating where his minions had fought moments before, the ghostly reaper that had hunted Grovyle for years smiled in final triumph.

    "Dusknoir!" Grovyle spat out the words.

    "Grovyle! How great it is to see you again, 'old friend'!" Dusknoir chuckled heartily. "You weren't thinking about going through The Passage of Time and leaving poor old me alone here, were you?"

    "Actually, you're more right than you can imagine." Grovyle grinned humorlessly.

    Dusknoir was slightly taken aback. "So you admit then that your place is here, rotting in the future?"

    "No." Grovyle took a step forward. "My place is here, between you and Celebi."

    "Always the hero," Dusknoir growled. "I hate heroes."

    The two opponents lunged simultaneously. They struck each other head on, but Grovyle stood strong. He caught Dusknoir by the arms and threw him back. The Gripper Pokemon crashed to the ground and skidded a few feet before floating back up. His single red eye glowed with fury. "Let this be remembered in history as the day that the hero finally lost."

    Grovyle smirked. "Where we're going, there is no history." As he finished his sentence, the mouth on Dusknoir's stomach stretched wide open and an enormous Shadow Ball formed inside.

    "Brave words," Dusknoir fired the Shadow Ball with all of the force he could muster. "Last words usually are."

    The blast hit Grovyle with the strength of a hundred Hyper Beams. The resulting explosion blacked out the entire clearing. All was lost from view. Dusknoir raised his arms up to his face defensively.

    "GROVYLE!!!" The cry was Celebi's.

    Dusknoir laughed malicioulsly. The smoke cleared, and the laughter stopped. Still standing, right where he had been before, was Grovyle. The Shadow Ball was held motionless by a twin Leaf Blade. "No! It can't be!" Dusknoir's eye grew wide.

    A tremendous smile crossed Celebi's face. "You're alive!"

    "For now," Grovyle muttered. "Dusknoir, I believe this is yours." He uncrossed his Leaf Blades, the force launching the Shadow Ball back in the direction from which it came. Dusknoir had no time to react before he was knocked back by his own attack. He was thrown hard into the ground, knocking him unconscious in a matter of seconds.

    "Grovyle, Grovyle!" Celebi wrapped her arms tightly around her friends neck.

    Grovyle pulled her off and held her firmly in his hands. "Celebi, I'm sorry to do this, but it's the only way. You're too stubborn to listen to reason." Here, he smiled.

    Celebi's joy faded. "What are you going to do?"

    "Celebi, my love." Celebi turned even pinker than before. "This is farewell."

    Celebi couldn't do a thing to stop Grovyle. He strode up to the glowing Passage of Time and tossed her in. "GROVYLE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Celebi wailed in despair as she was carried away by the current of the time screen. Carried away from her only love. Forever. A few small tears slid down Grovyle's face as he stepped back away from The Passage. It closed without a sound, but Celebi's cry still hung in the air.

    "Good-bye, Celebi." Grovyle closed his eyes and sat down. Slowly, the world around him began to fade. The future had been changed, and therefore saved. "Good luck."


    It's kind of long, but I'm sure it sets the story pretty well. I'm really looking forward to getting through this one!
    Last edited by GalladeRocks; 4th April 2010 at 8:52 AM.
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    First review, yay!

    This sounds.... familiar.... Well the story's good already.... Wait a minute! Now the story is focusing on Celebi? o_0 *applause*

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    *twitch*

    *goes crazy at the sight of Rendshipping moments*

    Man, you just got me hyper without using sugar, so congratulations.

    But now, for the review part...you need a bit more description, like when Dusknoir came into view, does the pattern on his stomach somehow...form into a smirking emotion or something like that?

    It's just a suggestion though. Overall, this story is interesting. So I'll be back to read more
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    Wow... I think it's great myself. I like how you word their conversation. Namely...

    "Grovyle! How great it is to see you again, 'old friend'!" Dusknoir chuckled heartily. "You weren't thinking about going through the Passage of Time and leaving poor old me alone here, were you?"
    "Always the hero," Dusknoir growled. "I hate heroes."

    The two opponents lunged simultaneously. They struck each other head on, but Grovyle stood strong. He caught Dusknoir by the arms and threw him back. The Gripper Pokemon crashed to the ground and skidded a few feet before floating back up. His single red eye glowed with fury. "Let this be remembered in history as the day that the hero finally lost."

    Grovyle smirked. "Where we're going, there is no history." As he finished his sentence, the mouth on Dusknoir's stomach stretched wide open and an enormous Shadow Ball formed inside.

    "Brave words," Dusknoir fired the Shadow Ball with all of the force he could muster. "Last words usually are."
    And my personnal favorite...

    The Shadow Ball was held motionless by a twin Leaf Blade. "No! It can't be!" Dusknoir's eye grew wide.

    A tremendous smile crossed Celebi's face. "You're alive!"

    "For now," Grovyle muttered. "Dusknoir, I believe this is yours."
    I didn't notice a need for more description overall, but what sweet_piplup123 mentioned would have been a cool touch. I'm really looking forward to the rest of this.
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    I'm glad you all like it! I'm sorry to say, though, that Celebi isn't the focus of the story for long. My next chapter has the real main characters.

    Chapter 2

    "Keep up, Piplup!"

    "I'm coming, Chimchar, I'm coming."

    The two partners sprinted through the dusty streets of Treasure Town. The shopowners and townspeople all waved as they passed through, heading towards their main objective. The friends had come a long way since their first meeting on the beach south of town. Piplup, formerly a human, but now transformed into a Pokemon, had awoken on the sand to find Chimchar standing over him, trying to wake him up. The two were immediate friends. They had been to the future. They had saved the world twice. The first time was from Dialga, who had been overshadowed by the collapse of time, and the second was from the villainous Darkrai, who was trying to bring both time and space under his control. This is probably why it felt so good to be able to laze around Treasure Town all day. Well, after they'd worked awhile.

    The Wigglytuff Guild's tent loomed up ahead. Chimchar turned back to look at Piplup as he ran for the door. "Should we go on a rescue mission today?"

    "I was kind of hoping to go after an outlaw," Piplup answered. The two slipped inside and slid down the ladder. Chimecho looked up as they hit the floor.

    "Hi Piplup! Hi Chimchar!" she greeted in her usual ringing tone.

    "Hey Chimecho!" Chimchar waved.

    Hearing the greeting, Corphish, Sunflora, and Dugtrio, who had been looking over the bulletin boards for missions, turned quickly to face the voices. "Piplup! Chimchar!" they all ran forward to greet their friends.

    "Hey guys!" Piplup laughed as they all gathered around him. "Are there any good mission requests on the boards today?"

    "Actually," Sunflora tried to hold her smile. "Omigosh, I can't say it. Corphish, you tell them."

    "Hey!" Corphish glared at Sunflora. "If you'd stop being so ditzy, you'd get a lot more accomplished! Hey hey!"

    Piplup, Chimchar, and Dugtrio looked on, mortified, as their friends continued to bicker over nothing. Finally, Dugtrio turned back to address the other two. "To sum up what they're trying to say, Pelipper delivered a letter this morning, addressed directly to Team Pokepals."

    "That's us!" Chimchar hopped up and down excitedly.

    "Figure that out on your own?" Piplup grinned sarcastically. "Who was it from?"

    "I think it'd be best if you come downstairs and see for yourself." Piplup turned to the ladder leading to the lowest level.

    "Bidoof!" Chimchar ran over to his good friend. The large toothed Pokemon was hanging onto the top rung of the ladder.

    "There's something down here you need to see," Bidoof continued, smiling widely. He stepped off the ladder and stood by Dugtrio. "You two go on down."

    Croagunk looked up from his Swap Cauldron as Team Pokepals approached. Loudred and Diglett ran over to join them. "Hey, GANG!!!" Loudred roared. Everyone cringed at the noise.

    "You're needed in Wigglytuff's chamber," Diglett glared up at Loudred. "And do you have to be so loud?"

    "I can't HELP IT!!!" Loudred bellowed. "I have HIGHLY DEVELOPED VOCAL CORDS!!!!!!!!"

    "Meh heh heh," Croagunk chuckled. "It takes a few years, don't worry. Your ears will adjust to his yelling eventually."

    Team Pokepals pushed open the door into Wigglytuff's room. The large pink Guildmaster whirled around to face his apprentices. He was accompanied by his right hand man, Chatot, and someone else. A large, four-legged purple Pokemon stood beside Wigglytuff. Perhaps this was the source of the strange scent that had been wafting through the Guild...

    "Skuntank!!!" Piplup and Chimchar's eyes lit up as they ran to their old friend. They latched onto his legs and hugged him tight.

    "Chaw haw haw," Skuntank chortled. "Get off of me, get off!"

    The duo let go and stepped back, smiles still stretching across their faces. "Where have you been?" Piplup wondered. "I've been worried about you and the rest of Team Skull."

    "We haven't seen you since Brine Cave," Chimchar remembered. "That's when we met Lapras and went to the Hidden Land."

    "I've heard plenty about what you two have been up to," Skuntank grinned. "Sounds like you've been doing fine without me."

    Piplup laughed. He could still remember his first meetings with Team Skull. They had been thieves back then, always causing trouble for Team Pokepals. Zubat and Koffing, Skuntank's teammates, had stolen Chimchar's treasured Relic Fragment, his personal treasure. It had taken quite a while to make peace between the teams, but it had been achieved. "It's still good to have you back."

    "Enough chatter!" Chatot squacked angrily. He flapped his wings rapidly in frustration. "Guildmaster, this isn't the only reason we called them down, you know."

    "I know," Wigglytuff laughed mightily. "But they just got back together! They deserved some time to themselves."

    Chatot sighed and shook his head. "Guildmaster, sometimes I-"

    Wigglytuff cut him off and slapped his old friend on the back. "Come on, Chatot, ya big meany. Have a heart!"

    Chatot couldn't help but smile. He'd known Wigglytuff almost his whole life, and he always knew what he was going to say next. "Well, they still have other business to attend to."

    Skuntank waved his paw dismissively towards Piplup and Chimchar. "Go ahead, you two. I'm just a washed up old bandit who no one cares about."

    Chimchar beamed. "No you aren't, and you know it." He turned to Chatot. "What do you have for us?"

    "Lapras was wanting to see you," Chatot replied. "He's waiting at the beach."

    "I guess we're off, then," Piplup decided immediately. "Skuntank, I'm so glad you're back."

    "Chaw haw haw," Skuntank laughed. "It's good to be back. By the way, Zubat and Koffing are out around town somewhere. Tell them that I'm here at the Guild if you see them."

    "We will," Chimchar waved farewell as he and Piplup climbed back up the ladder and out of the Guild.



    "Lapras!" Chimchar ran up to the sea-monster like Pokemon sitting on the sand. Piplup was right on his heels. "What's wrong?"

    'Probably plenty,' Piplup thought to himself. 'It wouldn't be like Lapras to call us for anything small.'

    "I don't know what it is," Lapras was grim. Things had to be bad. "But I've been getting sensations. Strange sensations."

    Piplup looked around wearily. Things were getting strange. The air seemed to shimmer and buzz around him. Suddenly, the beach disappeared. Chimchar and Lapras were gone, too. All was black. 'The Dimensional Scream,' Piplup realized. 'But, this is different. I have to be touching something for the Scream to activate."His head rang and his thoughts were fuzzy. He saw an enormous dragon-like Pokemon looming before him. There were a few blue flashes, than a tremendous explosion of darkness. Then, all was black once again.


    "Piplup! You're waking up!"

    "Urghh," Piplup groaned as he sat up. "What happened?"

    "It was the Dimensional Scream," Lapras explained. "You were having one of your visions."

    "Oh yeah," Piplup shook his head vigourosly to snap himself awake. He rose shakilly to his feet. "I can't remember what I saw, though. I just remember the darkness."

    "Something is very wrong here," Lapras looked around. The air seemed to tremor and pulse. A few small breezes whipped up.

    "Wh-what's happening?" Chimchar shuddered. He stepped up by Piplup, comforted by the presence of his best friend.

    "I don't know," Piplup answered. "But if I've learned one thing from our adventures, I'd have to say that it's related to time."

    As soon as the words were out of Piplup's mouth, the sky ripped open. Blue pulses rocked the beach. "Take cover!" Lapras took charge.

    There was no time. Something resembling a pink comet shot out of the center of the rift. It crashed into the beach in an explosion of sand. Piplup and Chimchar lifted up their arms to shield their faces. After a few long minutes, the sand and smoke settled. "What was that?" Chimchar wondered aloud.

    "Let's find out." Piplup stepped up to the crater and looked in. He gasped.

    "What is it? What? What?" Chimchar hurried up to see for himself. There, lying in the center of the crater, was a small, rosey pink figure.

    Piplup finally managed to get the words out. "Celebi!!!"



    Did you all like this chapter as much as the first? I hope you did. More soon!
    Last edited by GalladeRocks; 26th June 2009 at 7:14 AM.
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    Chapter 3

    Slowly, the world came back into focus. Celebi's eyelids blinked open to see Piplup and Chimchar looking down on her. "Piplup!" she gasped. "Chimchar! What are you doing here?"

    "I was about to ask you the same thing," Piplup frowned.

    Celebi sat up. She was in a nest of straw and sunlight was streaming in through the only window. Wigglytuff, Chatot, and Skuntank all stood in the back of the room. "Where am I?" Celebi wondered.

    "This is our old room from the Wigglytuff Guild," Chimchar explained. "But what happened to you? I thought the future was destroyed when we stopped Dialga."

    "It was a slow process," Celebi tried to remember what had happened. "The edges were beginning to disappear, but..."

    Piplup frowned again. He began to pace the room, contemplating all of the possibilities of what could have happened. "You can't remember anything?" Chimchar prodded.

    "N-no," Celebi closed her eyes and searched her memory desperately.

    "So you're Celebi!" Wigglytuff stepped forward. "I heard a lot about you from Team Pokepals' stories from the future. I must say that it is a pleasure to meet you. I'm Guildmaster Wigglytuff! YOOM-TAH!!!"

    "I'm not entirely sure that this is a happy greeting," Chatot bowed to Celebi. "But I'm Chatot. I've also heard plenty about you."

    "I haven't had the pleasure to hear of you," Skuntank cleared his throat. "Name's Skuntank, leader of Team Skull."

    "You're all so kind," Celebi thanked. "You just met me and already you've taken me into your home."

    "What else could we do?" Wigglytuff smiled. "We could never turn down a friend of our hero Grovyle."

    The memories rushed back to Celebi at the word. The battle, the tunnel, everything. She burst into tears.

    Piplup understood immediately. "What happened to Grovyle?"

    "He threw me through the Passage of Time. The future was collapsing the rest of the way and Dusknoir was trying to come back." Everyone tensed at the name. "Grovyle made me come back in time while he held Dusknoir back. From my reasonings, I can only presume that both are long gone now."

    Silence fell over the room. Chatot straightened up. "Well, we knew that this would happen. To tell the truth, I would have expected the dark future to have disappeared long ago."

    "I heard about this Dusknoir fellow," Skuntank scowled. "If I could get my paws on him..."

    "You may get your chance." Everyone looked up to Piplup.

    "What are you talking about?" Chatot squacked in frustration. "Haven't we already determined that Grovyle and Dusknoir are both gone? For good?" Celebi burst into tears once again.

    "Great job, meany," Wigglytuff scolded the mortified Chatot.

    "What do you mean, Piplup?" Chimchar eyed his partner wearily.

    "I should have disappeared with the rest of the future, but someone brought me back, didn't they? If they brought me back, they can bring back Grovyle."

    Everyone gasped with realization. "You mean..." Chimchar began.

    "Yes," Piplup smiled. "We're going to see Dialga."


    More to come! I sure hope you liked this chapter!
    Dimensions of Darkness - on hiatus l Sgt. Froakie - ongoing l Envoy - upcoming

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    Pretty good, although I think it odd that the heroes are that good of friends with Skuntank already. But maybe that's just me. Only real complaint I have is that the chapters seem to be a tad short (or at least chapter 3 anyway). Maybe since you can write 2 chapters a day at that length, you could combine them? But that's up to you. Anyway, once again like their conversations and I look forward to Chapter 4.

    "To sum up what they're trying to say, Pelipper delivered a letter this morning, addressed directly to Team Pokepals."

    "That's us!" Chimchar hopped up and down excitedly.

    "Figure that out on your own?" Piplup grinned sarcastically.
    XD
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    So sad.... *crying*

    So the story is they're going to go to the future again? Well I don't like dark stories *shot*

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    Thank you all for your critiquing. I'll consider combining shorter chapters in the future.

    Chapter 4

    "Is everyone gathered?" The enormous, dinosaur-like figure towered over the crowd gathered before him. Every single member of the crowd was shuddering uncontrollably. It wasn't every day that a deity such as Dialga showed up in Treasure Town.

    Piplup scanned the gathered townspeople. The Guild, Team Skull, Celebi. All were present and accounted for. "They're all here," Piplup had to look straight up to see Dialga's face. He fell over backwards trying catch a better glimpse. Chimchar rushed to his side.

    "Is that big head finally too heavy for your little body?" Chimchar teased, helping his partner to his feet. Piplup smiled.

    "Piplup!" Dialga boomed. "You may explain our plan."

    Piplup bowed his head to Dialga, almost falling over forward this time. "Thank you." He turned to face the crowd. "As we all know, the dark future from which Grovyle and Celebi came has collapsed."

    "At least it took 'the GREAT DUSKNOIR' with it!" Loudred hooted. Corphish and Dugtrio hollered their agreement.

    "Hush up!" Chatot scolded, locking the three in his glare. "When it's your turn to talk, you can talk, but until then, hush up!!!" Loudred shrunk back, deflated. Chimchar couldn't help snickering.

    "I HEARD THAT, RUNT!!!" Loudred screamed back before being restrained by Bidoof and Croagunk.

    "Anyways," Piplup continued. "Thanks to yet another of Grovyle's heroics, Celebi has been returned to be here with us today."

    Zubat and Koffing, Skuntank's teammates, scoffed. "I still don't get what the big deal about this Grovyle guy is," Zubat grumbled.

    "Doesn't sound like any big whoop to me," Koffing agreed.

    Seconds later, the two were pinned to the ground by Skuntank. "Listen here, you worthless grubs!" he hissed. "Grovyle was a very dear friend of Piplup and Chimchar both. Have you forgotten that they saved our lives back in Brine Cave? A friend of Team Pokepals is a friend of ours, got it?"

    Zubat and Koffing both nodded vigourously. "Yes, yes, of course, Boss!"

    Back up at the head of the group, Piplup continued. "Grovyle made an enormous difference in every life gathered here today, and many more beyond us. To have Grovyle back in our every day lives would be to have a hero of legends in our midst. Not only that..." He paused.

    Chimchar laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Piplup?" he whispered.

    "Not only that," Piplup pulled himself together. A single tear rolled down his cheek. "But Grovyle was a very dear personal friend of mine. I miss him tremendously every day. And I always will until he's back by my side again."

    Every one in the crowd had a tear or two slipping out. Chimchar sniffed and wiped his eyes. "Same here," Chimchar agreed. "It was Grovyle who helped me see how special Piplup truly is to me."

    "See?" Piplup regained his composure. "Having Grovyle back would make life a little cheerier. Grovyle sacrificed himself for Chimchar and I, and more importantly, for the entire rest of our world. I'm fully willing to risk my life for someone who did the same for me."

    The crowd burst into applause. Loudred was bawling his eyes out as he clapped and whooped enthusiastically. Then, one voice broke through the cheers. "Um, gosh, what to say." It was Bidoof. He made his way through to the front of the crowd. "Well, um, how exactly are we going to get Grovyle back?"

    "Ah, yes!" Dialga roared. "That's where you all come in!"

    "What Dialga says is true," Piplup explained. "Celebi was able to escape through the Passage of Time. We just need to go to the dark future in order to find Grovyle and bring him back through the Passage, too."

    "But how do we get to the dark future when it doesn't even exist any more?" Zubat piped up.

    "Hey! And why can't we just have Dialga warp Grovyle back to the present like he did to you, Piplup? Hey hey?" Corphish called.

    "Allow me to explain," Dialga rumbled. "As great and might as I may seem-"

    "Arrogant much?" Chimchar whispered to Piplup.

    Piplulp shruggged. "He's Dialga, ruler of time. He's got reason to be arrogant."

    "Ahem!" Dialga growled, snapping Piplup and Chimchar back to attention. "I am speaking, if you don't mind! And Piplup...well, I have less reason to be arrogant than you may think."

    Piplup frowned. "What do you mean?"

    "You see," Dialga explained. "I am not the true Dialga." The entire crowd gasped, but Dialga kept speaking before anyone could interject. "Yes, it is true that I am a Dialga, but I am not the original Dialga. In ancient times long since past, the universe was governed by Dialga and Palkia, the deities of time and space. They were good rulers, and the universe was kept in peace. However, a Pokemon named Giratina rebelled against Dialga and Palkia's control. He was powerful, and he nearly overthrew the rulers, but in the end, Dialga and Palkia managed to defeat Giratina. However, they knew that when he had regained his power, they would not be able to defeat him again, so Dialga and Palkia did what they had to. They used their control over time and space to create a new dimension, specifically meant to be a prison for Giratina and those who had allied with him. They succeeded in trapping Giratina, but the enormous strain of creating an entire dimension was too much for Dialga and Palkia. All of their life's energy was used up, and they both were left as nothing but lifeless hulls. However, the great creator of our universe knew that it could not be left unsupervised, which is why he created the new Palkia, and me."

    "So you're not the original Dialga," Chimchar shrugged. "So what? You're still the ruler of time."

    "That is true," Dialga nodded. "But my powers are far inferior to the original Dialga. He could actually warp other Pokemon through time. However, I myself do not possess that ability."

    Dugtrio forced his way to the head of the crowd. "Excuse me, Dialga sir, but if you can't warp Pokemon through time, how were you able to bring back Piplup?"

    "Ah yes," Dialga nodded. "That is a good question. Well, I don't know how to explain it exactly, but I'll try. After Piplup vanished, I could feel Chimchar's sorrow even at Temporal Tower. I wished desperately that I could do something to help, when suddenly, I felt great power flowing through me, even greater than my own. I knew it had to be the work of a being on a higher tier than even myself: The creator of our universe. The creator of our universe filled me with the power to bring back Piplup, but that power has not returned to me again. Therefore, I am unable to bring back Grovyle. If Grovyle is to be returned to the present, some of you must go into the future yourself to find him."

    "Which brings us to my conclusion," Piplup took over. "I'm going to find Grovyle. I don't care if anyone else goes with me, but I'm going. If you will go with me, step up." The whole crowd stepped towards him.

    Tears sprung back to Chimchar's eyes. "Thank you all so much," he smiled. "I would have backed up Piplup no matter what he was doing, but I feel much more comforted knowing that all of you are behind us."

    "How do we get to the dark future, though?" Dugtrio brought the question back up again. "If it's been removed from time, shouldn't it be impossible to even warp there?"

    "Time can surprise you," Dialga chuckled mightily. "It can be warped in almost anyway imaginable. Now, is everyone ready? I can warp you now if it is convenient."

    "So we're going on an expedition to the future?" Bidoof hiccupped nervously. "That sounds exciting!"

    "WAIT!!!" It was Sunflora. "Eeeeeeeeeekk! I'm a wreck! I've got to go get glammed back up, pronto!"

    Chimecho covered Sunflora's mouth with her hand. "She's ready," she assured.

    "Brace yourselves!" Dialga warned. "This could be a bumpy ride!" Blue pulses of energy radiated through the air. A portal tore open in the sky above the gathered crowd.

    Suddenly, Piplup's vision from the beach flooded back to him. He had seen Dialga, the portal, and then...

    "Watch out!" he screamed. No sooner had the words came out, when the darkness arrived. Piplup didn't see quite what it was, but a black blur whizzed past him. A volley of dark spheres rained down upon the crowd. Before he knew what was happening, Piplup saw half of the Guild members fall before the attack.

    "Piplup!" Chimchar's cry came too late. Piplup glanced up just as the attack hit him. He was engulfed by the sphere and everything began to dim. His thoughts became fuzzy. He struggled to his feet, only to collapse back onto his face again. The world turned black.
    Last edited by GalladeRocks; 13th December 2009 at 8:42 PM.
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  10. #10
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    Chapter 5

    Slowly, the world came back into focus. Piplup blinked his eyes open.

    "Thank goodness you're awake!" Chimchar was standing over him. "I was starting to get scared after you got hit by that attack."

    Groggily, Piplup rose to his feet. "Who...who was it?"

    Chimchar grimaced. "It was Team AWD."

    "Weavile!" Piplup gasped. Weavile was the leader of Team AWD and the boss of Drapion and Arbok. "I always had a bad feeling about her."

    "That's not all," Chimchar continued. "Gyarados was with them."

    "Gyarados?" Piplup tilted his head.

    "Gyarados was the one who attacked us when we were exploring the Miracle Sea," Chimchar recounted. "He was attacking the Phione there."

    "So now they've teamed up to get revenge?" Piplup guessed.

    Chimchar shrugged. "Apparently."

    Something struck Piplup, then. Treasure Town was completely empty. He and Chimchar were the only Pokemon in sight. "Where has everyone gone?"

    "They scattered after the attack," Chimchar explained. "Most of them took up shelter in the Guild, but some went into Marowak's Dojo." He paused. "But that's not all."

    There was something sad about Chimchar. Piplup had a bad feeling. "Who was it?"

    "It..." Chimchar shuffled his feet. "It was Dialga."

    "Dialga!?!" Piplup gaped in surprise. "What happened to him?"

    "Gyarados hit the gem on his chest really hard with a Hyper Beam. There was a cracking noise, and Dialga just disappeared. As soon as he was gone, the attackers retreated, though. I'm sure they'll be back."

    Piplup stood motionless, still stunned by the news about Dialga. Finally, after a few long moments, he snapped back to attention. "We should get back to the Guild," he decided. "We might be needed if anyone else got hurt badly."

    "You won't be getting back to the Guild anytime soon."

    The two whirled around. Weavile stood before them, sneering maliciously. She was flanked by Arbok and Drapion and Gyarados loomed over them all. "Looks like the odds are against you this time!" Gyarados crowed.

    Weavile glared up at him. "Shut up! I'm running this show."

    "You'd better cooperate if you're going to be working with Madame Weavile!" Arbok hissed at Gyarados. "She's not someone to mess with!"

    "Uh, guys?" Drapion took a step back.

    "I'm not someone to mess with either!" Gyarados snarled back at Weavile and Gyarados.

    "Guys?" Drapion warned again.

    "This is no time to be fighting!" Weavile barked up at Gyarados. "We've got some puny punks to take care of!"

    Weavile, Gyarados, and Arbok turned back to face their victims just as Drapion was thrown back by a combined Hydro Pump and Flamethrower from Team Pokepals. "I tried to warn you!" Drapion croaked before passing out.

    "CHARGE!" Weavile screamed. Gyarados and Arbok lunged forward. Piplup and Chimchar jumped forward to meet them.

    Piplup spun into a Drill Peck and crashed into Gyarados's forehead. The enormous serpentine Pokemon tumbled to the ground with a roar, crashing down in a tremendous explosion.

    Meanwhile, Arbok spat out a Poison Sting at Chimchar. A volley of venomous quills rained down upon the smaller Pokemon, but Chimchar bounced through it and came out above Arbok. "Flamethrower!" Chimchar called. He belched out a stream of fire, overwhelming the snake Pokemon. Arbok was scorched, but he lunged forward again, binding Chimchar tightly in his coils.

    Piplup saw Chimchar go down. "Chimchar!" he cried. Gyarados rose up while he was distracted and fired a point-blank Hyper Beam down on his opponent. The resulting explosion shot Piplup like a cannonball straight up in the air. He smashed down next to Arbok just as the snake Pokemon released its strangling grip on Chimchar. The two partners collapsed next to each other.

    "I can't go any further," Piplup groaned.

    "Me neither," Chimchar coughed. "There are too many of them."

    Drapion rose back to his feet. The other three joined him, standing over the fallen heroes and smiling triumphantly. "Looks like this is the end for the heroic Team Pokepals!" Weavile cackled. She drew back her claw and prepared to strike the final blow.

    "Not on my watch!"

    Weavile stepped back just in time. A pink blade of energy whirred through the air where she had been and crashed into Gyarados's chest. The sea-serpent roared in pain. "This is too much!" he screamed. "I was always told not to seek revenge! This is what I get!" He turned tail and fled towards the path leading out of Treasure Town. He was gone before Weavile could do anything to stop him.

    "What was that?" Drapion looked up in alarm. Piplup and Chimchar quickly drew back while their attackers were distracted. They stepped behind one of the totem poles that could be found all over Treasure Town.

    "That was me." Standing on the path leading up from the beach was a humanoid figure who appeared to have swords protruding from his elbows.

    "Gallade!" Piplup's eyes grew wide. A Rhyperior and a Roserade stepped up onto the path behind the humanoid shape.

    "And the rest of Team Raiders!" Chimchar cheered.

    "T-Team Raiders!?!" Weavile stuttered. "The Master Rank Exploration Team Raiders!?!"

    "Retreat is probably a good opt-" Drapion was blasted hard by Roserade's Solarbeam before he could finish his sentence.

    "Fall back!" Weavile ordered. Drapion climbed back to its feet and fled down the path that Gyarados had taken. Arbok turned to follow only to be struck in the back by a rock shot like a bullet. Rhyperior's Rock Wrecker sent him into a roll, tumbling onto Drapion and making both crash into the trees along the path, disappearing without a trace.

    "Those guys are AWESOME!" Chimchar jumped up and down excitedly. "I want to be just like them someday!"

    Weavile was just about to surrender when Gallade disappeared. He was there one minute and just gone the next. Weavile took a step forward only to have Gallade reappear right in front of her.

    "He can Teleport!" Piplup was in awe of Gallade. "What a skill that would be!"

    Gallade grabbed Weavile by the throat and lifted her up in the air. "You weren't bothering these poor kids here, were you?" he raised an eyebrow.

    "Um, no?" Weavile gasped for air.

    Gallade smiled. "Good answer." He turned and threw Weavile as hard as he could into the trees after Drapion and Arbok.

    "Good line," Roserade approached Gallade. "You're normally not very good at coming up with those on the spot."

    "I'll say," Rhyperior stepped up by his partners. "You can only come up with a line when everyone else has forgotten what you're talking about."

    Piplup and Chimchar ran up to Team Raiders. "Hey!" Roserade brightened. "I remember you two!"

    "You should," Rhyperior slapped her on the back. "Their Wigglytuff's apprentices."

    "Oh yes!" Gallade stepped up. "We were going to see Wigglytuff."

    "We could go get him for you!" Chimchar was getting hyper, now.

    "NO!" Gallade snapped. Piplup and Chimchar shrank back. "We must go to the Guild!" He looked around wearily. "The town may seem empty, but we have no idea who may be lurking around."

    "I'm sure we're fine," Piplup was slightly confused. "Who would be around to care what we talk about?"

    "I'm not sure," Gallade frowned. "But everything is not what it seems..."



    Hope you like it! Chapter 6 should be coming soon.
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  11. #11
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    You know maybe if you instead put time installing a bit of quality, thought, depth and description/detail into your chapters, over mass producing chapters just long enough because of the length limit for fanfiction, you might have something here that is enjoyable.

    "I believe that I would be the best to explain that," Dialga replied. "There are certain limits on time that were set long ago. I cannot simply bring back someone who never existed. The reasoning is complicated, but I'll explain the best I can. The reason I was able to bring back Piplup was because it would save a village."
    This basically devolves into a I can only do certain things because otherwise the author would have no story because he didn't fully plot it out, think it out, and realised to great that with how powerful Celebi and I am, we could do it without the help of mortals.

    And then to top it off I can only pull paradoxal people to this point in time is because they're helpful little tools. I mean Pokemon.
    .

    Which is actually a bit more entertaining than Dialga's snorefest of I am to strong, to weak, you are to weak, don't exist, yada yada yada..

    It'd be better if you kept Dialga as a I can't do crap outside of keep the flow of time going then I can-I can't.

    To be honest- how is your story any different from The Anime shorts. Or the games. Or other MD fanfiction others have written? You have bad plot, the same omg good team and bad team!!! and the classic and cliche OMG u iz spechul pokemonz and I won't ask teh big boyz to go, u must go 4 u r teh savoirz of tis warld!!11oneone111!!

    Yeeeaaaah.

    Granted most MD fanfiction is like that- but people find better ways to wrap the plot up and present it to us. You, did not.

    I suggest stopping now. Going and reading the Rules thread and Advice for Aspiring Authors/AfAA, reading some other stories, putting some time into description/detailing, character depth, plot, scenery/setting, and just overall making the chapters deeper and feeling more than slips of Daytime Soap scripts.

  12. #12
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    Ryu, Ryu, you say that I've got the same good team bad team? You could learn something from Gallade. But everything is not what it seems...

    Chapter 6

    Piplup and Chimchar stepped off of the last rung of the ladder back into the warm and homely atmosphere of the Guild. Celebi, Wigglytuff, Chatot, and Skuntank watched anxiously as Team Raiders approached them.

    Piplup wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead. "Is it me, or is it hot in here?"

    "It looks like this place is a full house," Chimchar commented. It was true. Bidoof, Zubat, and Koffing were all milling about nervously. Loudred and Diglett were already back to work at sentry duty. Croagunk was back to his Swap Cauldron and was muttering something under his breath. Even a few of the townspeople from Treasure Town had taken refuge.

    "Azurill!" Piplup cried happily. "Marill!" He ran up to the two young brothers who were cowering over by the entrance into the dining room. "What are you two doing in here?"

    "Piplup!" Azurill beamed. He jumped up and down on his tail cheerily. "Chimchar!"

    "Oh, Piplup!" Marill greeted. "We ran here as fast as we could after Weavile and the others attacked."

    "Mr. Kecleon and...um...the other Mr. Kecleon came with us to keep us safe," Azurill added.

    "Ah, it was nothing, little one!"

    "No, nothing at all! Anyone else would have done the same!"

    Piplup and Chimchar jumped in surprise as the Kecleon brothers appeared out of nowhere. "GAH!" Chimchar screamed. "You can't sneak up on me like that!"

    "Sorry, so sorry!" the green Kecleon apologised. "We didn't want to be a burden, so we turned invisible so that no one would see us here."

    "Hee hee!" Azurill giggled. "That was funny though!"

    "By the way," the purple Kecleon cut in. "I think I heard Chatot say something earlier about needing to see you when you arrived. You'd probably better go find him."

    "Oh, thank you!" Chimchar bowed his head quickly. "We'll go talk to him right away! Let's go, Piplup!"

    "I'm coming, I'm coming!" Piplup hurried after his partner.

    The two quickly ran over to where Wigglytuff and Chatot had been before. They were gone now, with Dugtrio waiting in their place. "Dugtrio?" Chimchar slipped up to him through the crowd. "Where did Chatot go? He wanted to see us."

    "I'm not sure about Chatot," Dugtrio thought back. "But I'm pretty sure Roserade and Rhyperior went upstairs. Maybe he went with them."

    "On our way!" Chimchar thanked. "Piplup, we're-"

    "I heard, I heard!"

    "Oh, sorry." The two made their way back to the ladder and headed up. They could immediately see Roserade standing over in front of the rescue mission bulletin board.

    "Roserade!" Piplup called. She turned around.

    "Oh, hello," she greeted. "This place is a mess, isn't it? I hope that we managed to scare off Weavile and her cronies so that we can get everyone out of here soon."

    "Yes, yes," Piplup nodded impatiently. "Was Chatot with you? We need to see him immediately."

    Roserade closed her eyes thoughtfully. "He went back downstairs with Rhyperior. They were going to grab something to eat in the dining room."

    Piplup smacked his forehead. "Thank you," he grumbled.

    "To the dining room?"

    "No, Chimchar, we're going to the restroom. Where do you think we're going?"

    "Sorry."

    The two hurried down to the dining room. It was full to the brim. "Do we have enough food for everyone?" Piplup thought to himself, watching as Loudred dumped an entire plate of berries down his throat.

    "There's Rhyperior!" Chimchar pointed through the crowd. Rhyperior was barely visible through the throngs of hungry townsfolk. "Let's get over there quick!"

    Piplup took a step forward only to have an Apple roll under his foot. He flipped straight up in the air and crashed down face first. "YEOW!" he yelped. He looked up just in time to see Zubat and Koffing retreating back into the main room.

    "Grrr!" Chimchar growled as he pulled Piplup back to his feet. "Those two could learn something from Skuntank. He realized the error of his ways, so why can't they?"

    After a few long minutes of ducking and dodging, Team Pokepals finally managed to make thir way over to Rhyperior. "Have you seen *pant pant* Chatot?" Chimchar gasped.
    Rhyperior upended a bowl of stew into his mouth, swallowed, and belched tremendously. "Chatot? He went off with Skuntank to get some more Perfect Apples from the pantry."

    "Oh," Chimchar deflated even more. "Great. Piplup?"

    "Do you really want to go there?"

    Chimchar gulped. He turned around and headed back for the main Guild chamber. "Oh, Team Pokepals!" Rhyperior called after them. "Compliment Chimecho on a delicous dinner for me, OK?"

    "Sure." Piplup's promise was less than enthusiastic.


    The Pantry

    "Chatot?" Skuntank pondered. "I think he went off with Sunflora. Something about a Spearow in her room or something like that."

    "Thank *wheeze* you," Piplup panted.


    Sunflora's Room

    "Oh, I have no idea where Chatot went," Sunflora admitted. "He just left in a huff after we realized that the Spearow in my bed was actually my teddy bear. Chimecho would probably know where he is."

    Piplup collapsed on the floor. Chimchar bent over him and laid a finger on his neck. "He's got a pulse!" he decreed.


    Chimecho Assembly Counter

    "I saw Chatot go off with Celebi," Chimecho pointed down the ladder towards the main chamber. "Celebi wanted to talk to Corphish about something or another."

    "Oh, by the way," Piplup turned back as he walked away. "Rhyperior gives you his thanks on a fine dinner."


    Corphish's Room

    "I haven't seen Chatot for a while," Celebi admitted.

    "Hey hey!" Corphish exclaimed. "He probably went to check on Diglett in the sentry tunnel! Hey!"


    The Sentry Tunnel

    "Chatot's not here!"


    Croagunk's Swap Shop

    "Meh heh heh. Chatot left a while ago."


    The Dining Room

    "You already asked me!" Rhyperior emptyed an entire tray of Bananas in a single gulp.


    Wigglytuff's Room

    Chatot looked up from his conversation with Wigglytuff and Gallade as he heard a knock at the doors to the chamber. "Come in, come in!" he squawked harshly. "Who is it?"

    The door slid open and Piplup and Chimchar fell into the room. "I say, Chatot," Piplup gasped for breath. "You are one hard Pokemon to find."

    "You two look like you've been running a marathon!" Wigglytuff commented. "Were you two having a race?"

    "We've been looking for Chatot all over the place!" Chimchar could barely be heard through his ragged breaths.

    "Ah, yes, I was looking for you two, wasn't I?" Chatot thought back. "I was going to ask you two if you'd been aquainted with Gallade yet."

    Piplup fell on his face in a dead faint.



    Sorry if it wasn't very eventful, but this was just kind of a filler chapter. I hope you all like it anyway!
    Last edited by GalladeRocks; 19th June 2009 at 5:29 AM.
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  13. #13
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    That was hilarious! Piplup and Chimchar have to run all around the guild just to find Chatot! And it was just to know if they'd been acquainted with Gallade... *rolling on floor*

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    I thought that part was funny, too.

    However, I have a question: What did Piplup and Chimchar do to Team AWD to make them enemies? When I played PMD2, they just talked about Zero Isle.

    Anyway, you did a great job. You need some work on description, but other wise it was very good. 4/5.

    Keep it up!!!

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    Ryu, Ryu, you say that I've got the same good team bad team?
    Well this just further proves that you really don't read anything unless it's presented in a sugar and sunshine way.

    And whenever did I say that I meant Gallade's team :/ meant your main heroes.

    You know maybe if you instead put time installing a bit of quality, thought, depth and description/detail into your chapters, over mass producing chapters just long enough because of the length limit for fanfiction, you might have something here that is enjoyable.
    I suggest stopping now. Going and reading the Rules thread and Advice for Aspiring Authors/AfAA, reading some other stories, putting some time into description/detailing, character depth, plot, scenery/setting, and just overall making the chapters deeper and feeling more than slips of Daytime Soap scripts.
    This is pretty much your last chance as I am not posting again, I am not going to respond to vm messages or pms from you, I did this to let you grasp that, just responding to one thing and trying to look smart- only makes you look like one thing.

    Have fun with your shallow reviews mate.

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    JirachiTheAnimeAddict: Team AWD's attack is part of the mystery of the story!
    Yami Ryu: You seem to be the only person here who actually CARES about not-quite-perfect quality. Everyone else seems fine with it. It's a miracle that you've finally given up on me. So thank you. Farewell. You know everything I posted in our previous conversation. And I didn't think that you meant Gallade's team, I was just quoting him. And I wasn't the one to pm or vm you. You're the one who started this whole mess. No offense.

    Oh, and I noticed a few typos in my last chapter, so I'll be back to fix those after this chapter.

    Chapter 7

    "That was a little dramatic, don't you think?"

    Piplup sat up, Chimchar holding him steady all the way. Wigglytuff, Chatot, and Gallade all still waited and watched expectantly. "Urgh, I'm so tired," Piplup groaned.

    "I think the heat must have gotten to you," Gallade explained. "It's gotten pretty stuffy in here as full as it is."

    "Not to worry, though," Chatot cut in. "Roserade and Rhyperior went out to make sure that Weavile and the others were really gone."

    "Gallade, would you mind cooling things up a bit?" Wigglytuff winked. "Do the trick! I love the trick!"

    "If you insist," Gallade smiled back. He turned to the torches and firepits scattered around Wigglytuff's chamber. He closed his eyes and seemed to zone out. Suddenly, translucent purple bubbles of psychic energy formed around each individual fire. Immediately, some of the heat in the room blew away as if by some intangible breeze.

    "Wow!" Chimchar gazed, awestruck by Gallade's psychic powers.

    "Nifty trick, isn't it?" Gallade reopened his eyes. "Traps the heat, but still lets out the light."

    "Yes, yes, we all know it's useful," Chatot interrupted. "But we need to get back to the matter at hand. Weavile had to have a reason to attack. If she had any evil intents before, she kept them concealed well."

    Chimchar raised his hand and waved it anxiously. "Um, I always had a bad feeling about her."

    "Nobody asked you!" Chatot snapped. Chimchar shrank back in fright.

    Wigglytuff smacked Chatot on the back of the head. "Meanie."

    "S-sorry," Chatot apologized. "I'm simply nervous. It's strange how they showed up when they did."

    "Right before the expedition to the future," Gallade muttered.

    "What?" Piplup eyed the Team Raiders leader warily.

    "Er, nothing."

    "I heard what you said," Chimchar spoke up. "You commented that they attacked right before the expedition to the future!"

    "Well, er, word spreads," Gallade stuttered. His eyes were alarmed.

    "In a matter of minutes?" Piplup stared back at Gallade. Something very strange was going on.

    Gallade's stare turned icy. "You know, I bet that Rhyperior and Roserade will need help securing the whole town. I'd better go help them. Team Pokepals, why don't you come with me?"

    "We'll be happy to help." Piplup glared hard into Gallade's eyes.

    "Good. I'll head on out." Gallade turned and headed for the door. Piplup began to follow, but Chimchar grabbed his shoulder.

    "This sounds like a trap."

    "Of course it is."

    "But this is Gallade!"

    "Doesn't mean it's not a trap."

    "It means that something screwy's going on here."

    "When isn't there?"

    "No one's ever betrayed us or decieved us, though."

    "Does the name Dusknoir ring a bell?"

    "We didn't know Dusknoir very long."

    "We knew him a lot longer than we've known Gallade."

    "But Gallade's a friend of Wigglytuff!"

    "Doesn't mean he's a friend of ours."

    "You're good at these comebacks."

    "You could learn a thing or two from me."

    Gallade leaned against the door and tapped his foot impatiently. "Today please!" His voice had become more harsh.

    Piplup and Chimchar broke their huddle. "We're coming!" Piplup called. He and Chimchar took off after Gallade. The door opened and there was a loud yelp. Bidoof, who had been listening outside, was crushed between the large wooden door and the stone wall. Team Pokepals was too preoccupied to think to worry about him.

    Wigglytuff and Chatot stared blankly out the door. "Did I miss something?" the Guildmaster wondered.

    "If you missed something, I did too," Chatot frowned.

    "Gosh, I'm ok!" Bidoof stumbled out from behind the door. "No need to worry about me!" He staggered away in a random direction. A few seconds later, there was an enormous crash. "I'm still ok!" the cry echoed back from the dining room.

    Chatot sighed. "That's debatable."


    Outside, Piplup and Chimchar had just stepped out of the Guild tent after Gallade. The Blade Pokemon stopped a few steps away and crossed his arms. "Spill the beans, Gallade," Piplup challenged.

    "If that is your true name!" Chimchar added.

    "Yeah, why don't you leave the interrogating to me?" Piplup turned to his partner. He faced Gallade once again. "You obviously either know something that we know and you shouldn't or something that we just don't know at all."

    "Or both!" Chimchar chimed in.

    "But if I do know anything," Gallade smirked. "You'll be the last people to know what I know, you know?"

    Piplup and Chimchar stared blankly. "I don't think we do know," Chimchar shrugged.

    "Team Pokepals, you've been a thorn in my side for too long." Gallade had turned serious now. Deadly serious. "This ends now."

    "What are you talk-" Piplup never finished the sentence. A pair of thorny vines wrapped around him. He was hauled to the ground roughly. Chimchar whirled to see Roserade standing behind Piplup. The vines were extended out from the insides of the bouquets on her arms.

    "Piplup!" he cried. He reared back his head to launch a Flamethrower at Roserade, but there was a deep rumbling roar from beneath the earth. Chimchar had no time to react before Rhyperior had surfaced from the ground behind him.

    "Surprise!" The much larger Ground type brushed Chimchar aside with a wave of his club-like arm. He skidded across the dirt, finally stopping at the base of one of the totem poles just outside of the Guild tent.

    Gallade strode up to Piplup, who Roserade was holding up in the air as if displaying him. "I've had to go through a lot to get to you. Now, in the face of your final defeat, I believe that it is time to reveal myself."

    "Reveal yourself?" Piplup tilted his head sideways in confusion.

    Gallade smiled. "Everything is not what it seems."

    "So you're not Gallade?" Piplup asked.

    "No more than you are."

    "And Rhyperior and Roserade?"

    "They're less who they appear to be than I am."

    "What is that supposed to mean?"

    "You'll know if you let me finish."

    "Just who are you?"

    "You're persistant. But who am I to complain? I knew you would be like this. I'm someone far closer to you than you can possibly know."

    Piplup gasped. The air around Gallade began to shimmer and warp. The warrior Pokemon was transforming.


    I was going to go further than that, but I really thought that this would be a good place to stop for now. I hope you enjoy it!
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    That Gallade is S-P-O-O-K-Y and I mean it... is there someone else more evil other than Dusknoir and Darkrai?

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    Chapter 8

    Gallade's form began to morph. His arms grew longer and broader, as did the rest of his body. Black and blue began to flow across his white skin. The final transformation was coming to a close...

    An orange fireball bigger than Gallade himself crashed into the new figure. There was a tremendous explosion and all of Gallade's new features retracted back into their former shape. Rhyperior and Roserade both whirled around. Chimchar was on top of the Guild tent. He grinned down at Piplup. "Your welcome!" he called. He reared back his head and launched a rain of Fire Blasts down onto Team Raiders below. Roserade reeled back from a blast that hit the ground directly in front of her and her vines lost their grip on Piplup.

    "I'm free!" he called. Chimchar leapt down beside his partner.

    Slowly, the injured Gallade rose back to his feet. Steam rose from his body. "I REALLY should have expected that. You can't get one without the other." He turned to Rhyperior and Roserade. "You two, have fun!"

    "Rightio," Rhyperior sneered. He charged forward, arm raised to strike.

    "I think I'm going to have some fun while we're at it!" Piplup sprayed forth a powerful Hydro Pump at the Ground type coming at him. "Let's see you stand up to this!"

    "Rhyperior's just an old softie!" Roserade jumped out in front of Rhyperior, taking the Hydro Pump in his stead. "I'm the one you want to see in action!" She shot a stream of glowing leaves out of her arms. They gleamed for a moment in the dark night sky like stars, then, the Magical Leaf shot staight down on the ill-prepared Team Pokepals.

    Chimchar jumped back to his feet. "Piplup!" he gasped. His partner had taken a serious hit from the Grass type attack and he was now sprawled in the dirt. Chimchar turned back to face his opponents just as Rhyperior's Hammer Arm drilled him into the ground.

    Piplup opened his eyes. Rhyperior and Roserade loomed over him. Gallade laughed from where he stood a few yards away. "Looks like this is the end of the grand Team Pokepals!" The vines from Roserade's arms stretched out towards Piplup.

    "Get back, you...you...vile attackers!"

    A black blur crashed into Roserade, knocking her off her feet. Rhyperior spun to face the new attacker. He lifted his arm and fired a stone from his arm like a bullet. There was a flash, and the next thing he knew, his own Rock Wrecker was shooting straight back into his face.

    "What was that?" Chimchar was awake once again. He and Piplup climbed to their feet. Roserade and Rhyperior were still being driven back while Gallade stared on in alarm and astonishment.

    Piplup gasped as he finally caught a glimpse of their savior before he launched back into his rapid strike. "It's-"

    Before the sentence was done, the mysterious attacker arced through the air and landed before Team Pokepals. "Chatot!"

    Chatot turned back to Piplup for a brief moment. "Stay back! I've got these two under control!"

    "No," Piplup shook his head vigorously. "We're not letting you fight all of them alone."

    "Sorry to break up the little party, but we've got business here!" Roserade jumped up onto Rhyperior's hand. The Armor Pokemon pulled back his arm and fired Roserade like a fastball. She flew straight and true, striking Chimchar full on. The two crashed down onto the senty grate in front of the Guild. With a clang, the iron ripped out of its moorings and Chimchar and Roserade disappeared into the darkness of the senty tunnels.

    "CHIMCHAR!!!" Piplup screamed. He looked up to Rhyperior, anger rising inside of him. "You!" He bounded forward, launching a Hydro Pump in the process. The attack was like lightning. The torrent blasted Rhyperior full on in the chest, slamming him into the ground. The impact shook the earth.

    "Amazing!" Chatot muttered under his breath. "What a wonder it is to see Piplup in action!"

    Piplup didn't wait a moment. He was upon Rhyperior before he could even rise back to his feet. His arm glowed white and he chopped Rhyperior on the head with Brick Break. "You're going to pay!"

    Rhyperior rose up without warning, sending Piplup flying back. "I don't have any money on me. How about you take this instead?" He fired another Rock Wrecker. Chatot flew forward, his wing glowing white with Mirror Move. He swiped at the rock, knocking it back once again.

    "Chatot," Piplup's voice was hard. "This battle's mine. Sit this out for a while."

    Chatot blinked in surprise. No one had ever spoke to him before with such authority, not even the Guildmaster. "Y-yes. Of course, Piplup."

    "Come on, Rhyperior!" Piplup taunted. "Hit me with your best shot!"

    Rhyperior opened his mouth and an orange glow radiated out. "Fire away!" The Hyper Beam launched forth. Piplup took a deep breath.

    "What are you planning?" Chatot was aghast. He knew what was coming.

    "I wish I knew," Piplup muttered. He sprinted forward to meet the Hyper Beam. Chatot closed his eyes and shielded his face. Gallade did the same as the beam struck Piplup head on. The world was over come with light.


    Chimchar and Roserade slammed hard into the floor of the tunnel. "Aaiiihhh!" someone shrieked. It was Diglett, performing his sentry duties as usual. Chimchar jumped up.

    "Diglett, get out of here!" he cried. "I'll take care of this!"

    "I-I'm going!" Diglett replied. He hurried off down the dark passage towards the Guild.

    Chimchar turned back to Roserade. She was on her feet and her arm was glowing purple, a Poison Jab. "Here's Rosey!" she hollered. She punched Chimchar hard in the stomach, driving him to the floor.

    Chimchar launched a close-range Flamethrower into Roserade's face. She staggered back, allowing him to crawl quickly away down the tunnel. Chimchar's breath was ragged, but he hurried along. Before long, he could hear Roserade slithering along behind him. Finally, he burst out into the Guild. Roserade flew out right behind him.

    "I've got you now!" she laughed in triumph. Chimchar turned to run, but he stumbled and fell on his face. He rolled over to see Roserade's arm pulled back, ready for another Poison Jab. "End of the road, wimp!"

    "Ahem!"

    Roserade looked up in surprise. All of the Guild apprentices loomed over her, bemused looks on their faces. "Bet you didn't see that coming, did you?" Sunflora giggled.

    Roserade grabbed Chimchar's shoulders gently and hoisted him up, standing him back on his feet. She patted him on the back soothingly. "Go on, little guy. I-"

    She was cut off as Loudred, Corphish, and Croagunk tackled her to the ground.


    The explosion of the Hyper Beam cleared. Chatot, Gallade, and Rhyperior all watched anxiously as the dust settled. There, in the middle of the crater blown out of the ground, was Piplup. A slight white glow surrounded him. "What the-" Rhyperior began. He wasn't able to finish. The energy Piplup had stored erupted outward in the volcanic force of Bide. A wave of pure white energy smashed into Rhyperior. He was tossed back like a leaf in a gale. The Armor Pokemon finally landed with a crash and skidded across the dirt, stopping just before Gallade.

    "Quite a plan, quite a plan," Gallade clapped slowly. Rhyperior slowly rose back up to his feet. "You've actually managed to put a dent in one of us."

    "This ought to finish you," Rhyperior winced in pain as he spoke. The horn on his head began to spin rapidly. He charged forward, Horn Drill raging. Piplup could barely move. The Bide had taken a lot out of him. Time seemed to slow. Rhyperior was only a few feet away. The attack was coming in quick. Suddenly, Chatot was between Piplup and Rhyperior. His wing glowed white with another Mirror Move. He swiped forward, striking Rhyperior on the head. At the same time, the horn stabbed into Chatot's other wing. The one-hit knockout power of Horn Drill immediately took effect on both Pokemon. Chatot and Rhyperior collapsed onto each other, unconscious already.

    Piplup gasped. "Chatot!"

    Gallade smirked. "Pah. Rhyperior is a mere pawn. I could have taken you on from the start. I realize now that I should have. But now, it looks like I'll have to end it myself." He strode slowly, calmly towards Piplup.

    Suddenly, a pink blob plopped down in front of Piplup. "Wigglytuff?" Piplup gaped in surprise.

    Wigglytuff grinned. "Stay behind me, I can handle this."

    "Wigglytuff? The great, mighty Wigglytuff?" Gallade scoffed. "You old fool! You can't harm a Caterpie these days!"

    "Why would I want to harm a cute little Caterpie?" Wigglytuff frowned. "Cute...little...harm..." Tears began to run down his cheeks. "Waaah! Waaaah!!! Waaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!"

    Piplup stepped back, petrified. "Now you've done it!" he screamed.

    "What?" Gallade frowned. Suddenly, a look of realization, remembrance, maybe, crossed his face. "OH NO!!!"

    "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH HHH!!!!!!" Wigglytuff sobbed hysterically. The ground rumbled and quaked. Gallade and Piplup both staggered, falling to their knees. And then, as spouts of fire sprayed out violently from the ground, the world exploded.



    Hope you like it!
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  19. #19
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    Wigglytuff is scarier than I thought. I thought people was really scared whenever Wigglytuff cries like that but to see him able to explode the world? Wow... o_0

    In honor of Mystica
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    Hey, hey! I happen to have some time and came across your story, so I'll just comment on some things. I'll try to point out as many things as I can, but I may end up having to leave before finishing a chapter.

    I'm not very knowledgeable about these Mystery Dungeon fics, but hopefully this'll be of help to you, regardless.

    ~

    Time: Far far in the future.
    Enter.
    Location: Hard to tell, as everything looks the same. Everything is dull and gray.
    Enter.
    All is still. Soon, all will be still for the rest of eternity. The world is changing, and not for the better. Not many are left to mourn for the collapse of the future.
    I would separate the two. It makes them a bit more noticeable and definite. Also, I'd keep the location bit and the changing of the world separate, as they're not the same subject. That the world is changing and very few people are left isn't related to the location, after all, so a paragraph would probably work best here.

    [quote]An overshadowed tyrant, his ghostly assistant, and his vicious assassins. [quote]

    This isn't a sentence. If you want to list the 'characters' like that, it's probably best to give them individual sentences, because like this you're missing a verb.

    However, there are some that will be missed. A hero through the ages and his time-traveling ally. Already, tears have been wept for them. The heroes are not gone yet, though. Which brings us to today.
    I find the second sentence a bit awkward. Has he been a hero through the ages, or what? Either way, I'd tweak it around a bit.

    I cut the second sentence in two, because otherwise it was a bit of a run-on sentence. I also mixed it up a bit, because 'tears for them have been wept' sounds very awkward to me.

    'They' makes it seem as if you're referring to the tears, so I'd name them or use 'the heroes'.

    Two hunched figures huddled in the shadows in front of a glowing blue tunnel. The glare/light pulsed rhythmically, casting its gentle light over the gray dirt and soil at the entrance. Somewhere nearby, the thuds of many pairs of running feet rapidly approached.
    I like the introduction to the story like this. Personally, I'd add some description to the spoken sentence to make it more lively. Start off with something other than speech, but the image of two...creatures huddling in front of a tunnel - though not the smartest thing, as they'd be very obvious - is rather neat.

    I'd use 'glare' or 'light' instead of tunnel. The tunnel isn't pulsing, really, to me it sounds like the light would be pulsing. Tunnels don't pulse. They might shake, shudder, or whatnot, but not pulse.

    "You can go through The Passage/the passage before it shuts," the larger figure argued.
    Either make it 'the passage' - just any ordinary passage - or 'The Passage' - a particular passage that has been named 'The Passage' - not a combination of both. ^^

    "Well, I can guarantee that it's not going to be you." The small, pink figure's cheeks turned a rosey red.
    If the sentence following the spoken sentence isn't directly related to it and doesn't include a speech verb, then you don't get a comma. The creature's rosey red cheeks aren't speaking, so you can't treat this as a speech tag. For example:

    "Hello," she said <-- speech verb.

    "Hello." She waved. <-- not a speech verb.

    Now, this may be a part of the whole Mystery Dungeon thing that I just don't get, but I thought Celebi was green? O_O

    Grovyle continued to knock them back. Celebi watched on helplessly as the merciless purple army came at her best friend with their claws, only to be fended off by Leaf Blade after Leaf Blade.
    Ehm, is this a different celebi? Isn't celebi a, you know, legendary? Surely celebi could fight back? Or is her only purpose in the story to play damsel in distress for the tough, heroic grovyle?

    "Celebi!" Grovyle grimaced as a Sableye scratched him across the face. "Go into the Passage! Now!"
    There's no need to use repeated capitals. It comes across as if you're screaming at the readers, instead of the characters doing the screaming. Perhaps try italicizing it instead?

    "Actually, you're more right than you can imagine." Grovyle grinned humorlessly.
    "No." Grovyle took a step forward. "My place is here, between you and Celebi."
    Ahuh. -_-

    "Always the hero," Dusknoir growled. "I hate heroes."
    *grins* That's a good line. Did you come up with it yourself, or was it part of the game dialogue?

    The blast hit Grovyle with the strength of a hundred Hyper Beams. The resulting explosion blacked out the entire clearing. All was lost from view. Dusknoir raised his arms up to his face defensively.
    Enter.
    "GROVYLE!!!" The cry was Celebi's.
    A new person is speaking, so I'd start a new paragraph. Also, the capitals aren't necessary. You're already using an exclamation mark and signalling that it's a cry, which should be enough.

    A single tear slid down Grovyle's face as he stepped back away from The Passage.
    A single tear? That's a very cliché thing. XD Usually not something I suggest people use, either. Perhaps just say 'tears' instead?

    "Goodbye, Celebi." Grovyle closed his eyes and sat down.
    Final edit, though there are a few I passed because they were things I had already explained prior to that. (Such as punctuation for speech, paragraph breaking, etc.)

    All in all, it feels like you're retelling the story from Mystery Dungeon. Now I've never played any of them, so I couldn't even tell you from which one this is, but it feels like something that's being retold. Probably due to a lack of description. You started out pretty nice, talking about then crouched outside the tunnel, but then everything became a bit flimsy and too focused on dialogue.

    Calm down, take your time to slowly introduce us to what is going on. What do the surroundings look like, what do the characters look like, that sort of thing. Don't assume we know what's going on. Weave a story, almost like you're painting a picture, don't just give is a bunch of cliff-notes along the way.

    Good luck and let me know if you have any questions. ^^

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    Silawen: Thank you so much for your critiquing! Unlike a certain critiquer who I seem to finally have gotten off of my tail, you put your suggestions without degrading what was there originally. In answer to a few of your questions: My story is a continuation of the Mystery Dungeon 2: Explorers of Time and Darkness games and Celebi is pink (Shiny).

    Chapter 9

    Slowly, the world flooded back into focus. Groaning, Piplup sat up and observed his surroundings. It was his old room in the Guild, the one he had shared with Chimchar. The soft light of the rising sun shone through the single window in the room, casting its glow on the adjacent straw bed. Chimchar was curled up in that bed, sleeping peacefully. The fire on his rear was extinguished and a snot bubble expanded and shrank from his nose with every one of his breaths. Bidoof sat by the door, watching Piplup intently. "Thank goodness your awake!" he whispered. "After the hits you and Chimchar had taken, we were getting worried."

    "What..." A throbbing pain entered Piplup's head before he could finish the sentence. Clutching his head, he managed to continue. "What happened?"

    "You took quite a hit from Wigglytuff's Hyper Voice," Bidoof explained. He turned towards the sleeping Chimchar. "Let's go talk with the Guildmaster about this. Chimchar needs his sleep."

    Silently, the two crept out of the room. The other Guild members were still asleep, their snores echoing throughout the quiet Guild. Piplup managed to catch sight of Croagunk sleeping against his Swap Cauldron before stumbling into the Guildmaster's chamber.

    "Friends!" Wigglytuff smiled down at his visitors. "I was hoping to see you this morning. Piplup, I'm really sorry that you got caught up in my little outburst. I couldn't hold back."

    "Guildmaster, it's not your fault." Piplup and Bidoof jumped as Chatot stepped out of the shadows. "We all know that happens when you get emotional. It can't be helped."

    "Besides," Bidoof added. "It scared off that scary Gallade guy."

    "That wasn't Gallade." Wigglytuff's voice was hard, far different from his usual happy-go-lucky tone. "I know Gallade. He's a good Pokemon, and he would never do something like this. I believe that we've met an imposter."

    The image of Gallade's transformation attempt flashed in Piplup's mind. "That wasn't Gallade. Whoever or whatever it was, they started to change shape from Gallade. Chimchar managed to stop them before they finished, though."

    "A shape-shifter?" Bidoof cocked his head.

    "But what kind?" Chatot pondered aloud. "The only Pokemon that I know of that can change shape are Ditto, and I don't know any."

    "There is another Pokemon," Wigglytuff spoke up. "It is thought that there is a Pokemon known as Mew that can transform."

    "Mew?" Piplup wondered. "What's that?"

    "An extremely powerful Pokemon of legend," Wigglytuff explained. "It is said that all Pokemon today are descended from it. Many believe that Mew is merely a myth. Most who do believe that it's real think that it's gone now."

    "So we could be facing Mew," Piplup stated. Nobody answered. He decided to change the subject. For now. "What happened to Team Raiders, anyway?"

    Chatot snapped back to attention, glad to be on a new subject. "Ah, I forgot to ask that myself. Guildmaster?"

    "Oh, they went on their way," Wigglytuff replied. "Gallade, or whoever he is, ran away after my outburst. He seemed to be pretty beaten up, so he'll probably have went to find somewhere to recover."

    Bidoof shuffled his feet nervously. "M-maybe you scared him away. Maybe he w-won't come back."

    Piplup frowned. "I doubt it," he said to himself.

    "As for Rhyperior and Roserade," Wigglytuff continued. "They were taken away by Sheriff Magnezone. Piplup, Chatot, while you two were holding off Rhyperior, Chimchar had been single-handedly fending off Roserade. He managed to lead her into the Guild and Bidoof here and the other apprentices took her down."

    Bidoof smiled. "I don't get praised very much! Thank you, thank you!"

    "Yes, yes," Chatot squawked impatiently. "We have other matters to attend to. What are we going to do about the expedition to the dark future to rescue Grovyle?"

    Piplup sighed. "I don't think we'll be able to pull it off without Dialga."

    "We still have Celebi!" Bidoof protested. "She can take us!"

    "Celebi isn't powerful enough to take an entire expedition to the future," Piplup answered. "She could go herself, maybe take one more of us, but that would be it!"

    "Surely Dialga can't have been destroyed though!" Chatot argued. "Especially by a Pokemon like Gyarados!"

    "Chatot has a point," Wigglytuff agreed. "The gem on Dialga's chest was damaged, and that helps him control time. Maybe he was just warped back to Temporal Tower."

    Piplup jumped up in the air ecstatically. "That's brilliant!"

    Chatot seemed about ready to do the same thing, but he held himself steady. "It's worth going there to check."

    "I'll organize a party to accompany us immediately!" Wigglytuff beamed.

    Suddenly, the door burst open and Celebi rushed in. "Guys! I think you'd better come see this!"

    "What is it?" Chatot inquired, alarmed.

    "Just come outside!" Celebi urged. The group hurried out of the room and scrambled up the ladder.

    Skuntank was waiting for them just outside. "About time you got here!" he huffed.

    The gathered six looked up into the sky. The sun was shining bright, but there was something in the air. A white powder was drifting down, blowing in gusts here and there. Piplup stuck out his tongue, catching one of the crystal-like flakes.

    "What's all the raquet?"

    Everyone turned back to face the tent. Chimchar, stretching and yawning, stepped outside to join the rest. "Well aren't you tardy to the party!" Skuntank laughed. "Glad to see you're all right."

    Chimchar stared into the sky like the rest had. "What the...?"

    "Snow," Piplup confirmed. "In the middle of summer. Without a cloud in the sky."

    "How can this be?" Chatot gasped.

    "Now it's snowing?"

    "What is this world coming to?"

    Zubat and Koffing floated up the path to the Guild. Skuntank stepped up to meet them. "Where have you boys been?"

    "We would have been here sooner," Zubat griped. "But it's pouring on the other side of Treasure Town."

    "It started to lightning," Koffing cut in. "So we ducked into that Kangaskhan lady's shop. She lets us wait there until the lightning stopped."

    "Something is very wrong here," Celebi murmured.

    Piplup glared up into the sky. "Gallade, Mew, whoever you are," he thought to himself. "This is you're doing, I can tell. You're close. Really close. I know you're coming, so be prepared. I'm not going down without a fight."

    "Piplup?"

    Piplup snapped back to attention at the sound of Chimchar's voice. "Yeah?"

    "You were spaced off. I got worried."

    "You know better than to worry about me."

    "I should."

    "You should."

    "Guys?" Celebi interrupted. "I think we're getting a little off topic."

    Wigglytuff, who had also been spaced off, shook himself violently. "I know how to figure out this weather problem. Team Pokepals, I've got a task for you."

    "We're up for it!" Chimchar and Piplup saluted simultaneously.

    "There is a Pokemon named Swampert. He lives just outside of Treasure Town," Wigglytuff explained. "There is some internal radar sense that he possesses that allows him to predict weather and determine changes in it. If there is anyone who can help us discover the root of this, it's him."

    "Swampert, huh?" Chimchar grinned. "Sounds cool. Let's go find him, Piplup!" He ran off down the path away from the Guild and Treasure Town without even making sure that his partner was following.

    Piplup sprinted after him. "Wait up!"

    Everyone but Wigglytuff and Chatot went back into the Guild. The two good friends watched Team Pokepals hurry off towards their objective.

    "Something in our world has shifted," Chatot murmured, glancing back up at the snow filled sky.

    "A good way to put it, Chatot," Wigglytuff agreed. "The line between reality and non-reality has shifted."




    Sorry if this chapter seems jumbled. I was kind of having a hard time keeping the flow going. I hope you like it anyway!
    Last edited by GalladeRocks; 19th June 2009 at 5:43 AM.
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    It was... strange... My guess will be with the weather trouble

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    Good prediction. Let's see how things turn out...

    Chapter 10

    Team Pokepals strolled across the white sand beach, calmed by the sea waves gently lapping against the shore. Here, the weather was sunny and warm, a vast difference from Treasure Town. "This looks so much like the beach where we met, Piplup," Chimchar murmured, looking back and forth across the sand.

    "Our beach isn't very far away," Piplup pointed out. "We could probably swim there from here."

    "Hold up." Chimchar stopped in his tracks and pointed upward. Just ahead, an outcropping of red rock jutted up in the air and out into the ocean. Sitting on top, a large blue Pokemon with a large, thin, fin-like tail stared out across the water. Occasionally, the tail/fin twitched quickly, like a nervous tic.

    "That must be Swampert," Piplup guessed. "I wonder what he's doing."

    "Predicting the weather. Or trying to."

    In a flash, Swampert was on the side of the rock, glaring down at Team Pokepals. "Umm, hello?" Chimchar waved weakly.

    Swampert huffed impatiently. "Are you going to stand there all day? What do you want?"

    "Well," Piplup began. "We were hoping that you might know why the weather is messed up. It's snowing in one half of Treasure Town and raining in the other. And here, it's sunny."

    Swampert hopped down off of the outcropping, landing just before Piplup. "You think I would know?" he growled. "I can't tell anything about the weather with all of the interference there is. But I think I know what it is."

    "But you just made it sound like you didn't know," Chimchar pointed out.

    "You want to test my meaning?" Swampert threatened. Chimchar shrank back.

    Piplup frowned. "So what do you think is the problem?"

    "I've heard of you," Swampert explained. "You're Piplup, right? You're the one who stopped Darkrai. I seem to remember that you had certain 'spatial distortions' around you."

    "You're point?" Chimchar stepped back up to Piplup's side.

    "My point?" Swampert finished. "Maybe your distortions are causing the disturbances in the weather!"

    "What?!?" Piplup gasped. "You can't possibly think-" He couldn't finish. Swampert was upon him.

    With a roar, Swampert brought his fists down on Piplup with Hammer Arm, pummeling the smaller Pokemon into the ground. Chimchar leapt forward, knocking Swampert away before he could do further harm. "Piplup!" he called. "Are you alright?"

    Piplup pulled himself out of the crater he'd been stranded in. "Define 'alright'."

    Chimchar sighed in relief. If Piplup was still sarcastic, it couldn't be too bad. "Piplup, let's-" Swampert attacked him from behind with a Hydro Pump, blasting him into the ground with a powerful torrent of water. Piplup tried to charge forward to help, but he tripped and fell back into the crater created by Hammer Arm.

    "Say bye-bye!" Swampert beamed in triumph. He towered over the sprawled Chimchar, arms raised in preparation for the final strike.

    Chimchar smiled weakly. "Bye-bye." For a brief moment, his hands glowed white. Then, Swampert exploded. He was shot like a cannonball into the outcropping, bringing a rocky avalanche down on top of him.

    Piplup finally managed to scale the crater's wall and he rushed to Chimchar's side, helping him to his feet. "What did you do?" he wondered.

    "It was my Endeavor attack," Chimchar explained. "It-"

    "I know what it does," Piplup interrupted. "It made Swampert just as weakened as you are."

    "That wasn't as tough a battle as I expected," Chimchar admitted.

    The pile of rocks from the avalanche shifted as Swampert heaved himself out through a small gap. He slowly propped himself back on his feet. "That's what I've got them for."

    The beach exploded into chaos. Shapes launched out from behind boulders all over, completely surrounding Piplup and Chimchar. All of the figures were identifiable as the two turned in a circle to see them all. Weavile, Rhyperior, Roserade, Drapion, Arbok, even Gyarados, who had somehow hidden behind one of the larger boulders. "All of you!" Chimchar gasped. "What...how..."

    "A few loyal subjects," Swampert's form began to morph into one all too familiar. "And one can do just about anything." By the time the sentence was out of his mouth, Swampert was no longer speaking. In his place was the white, humanoid figure of Gallade.

    "I should have known." Piplup clenched his teeth. "You're behind everything nowadays."

    "You're right there!" Gallade scoffed. "Because everything nowadays has to do with me. And you, of course."

    "What is your plan?" Piplup demanded.

    "If you insist," Gallade sighed dramatically. "Perhaps it would be best to see me in my true form." Once again, he began to transform. This time, however, his body shrank quite significantly. His arms were now short stubs and his legs were nonexistant, leaving only a pair of large feet. He even had a tail now. His small, pink body, though no one else had ever seen it before, was immediately identifiable.

    "Mew!" Piplup nearly fainted. "You're Mew!!!

    "Yes, Mew is my name," Gallade/Mew confirmed. "So you have heard of me."

    "What did we ever do to you?" Chimchar asked timidly. Despite the cute appearance of his enemy, the raw power he emanated was enough to know not to mess with him.

    "Sorry to break up the party!"

    Mew was just about to speak when a blur of yellow slammed into him, throwing him back. The other assailants all turned to face the new arrival, who was rising to his feet for all to see.

    "Drowzee!?" Chimchar gasped. He began to stagger around Piplup. "I think I've had about enough surprises for one day."

    "Prepare for one more!" Drowzee warned. He held his hands into the air and a shockwave of a mysterious purple and yellow energy shot outward.

    "NO!" Mew howled, shooting up into the air again. The energy wave crashed into the circle of attackers surrounding Team Pokepals...and they all immediately disappeared. Weavile, Gyarados, all of them. There was absolutely no sign that they had ever been there. The wave was not done yet, though. It passed harmlessly through Piplup, Chimchar, and Mew, who rapidly zipped away from the beach, charging into the cluster of trees.

    "This isn't the end," he thought to himself as he flew. "We'll call this battle a draw, but the war is far from over."

    Piplup quickly propped Chimchar up against himself to aid him walking. "Drowzee," Chimchar muttered almost inaudibly. "I think we've got some catching up to do."

    Drowzee nodded, smiling slightly. "Yes, Chimchar," he agreed. "A lot of catching up to do."




    Hope you all like it! Were there too many surprises at once? I hope not. I also hope that you all remember Drowzee, the reformed outlaw who after being fought towards the game beginning later saves Azurill from his nightmare. Also, tell me if you think this is too short.
    Last edited by GalladeRocks; 10th January 2010 at 7:34 AM.
    Dimensions of Darkness - on hiatus l Sgt. Froakie - ongoing l Envoy - upcoming

    harmoNy - one-shot l The Piplup and Chimchar Variety Hour - on hiatus
    Author's Profile

    Latest Chapter (Sgt. Froakie): Chapter 2 - Beware the Cute Ones
    Credit to Astral Shadow for the awesome sig!

  24. #24
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    My word, this is insane (in a good way though). Keep it up!
    Pokemon TCG revamped: The game! - A link to my game. It's locked now, but I'm working on reviving it. If you attempt to recreate it, I will EAT YOU.



    ...what? I know that I agree with this entirely.

  25. #25
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    Thank you! People call me insane in a good way all the time. Seriously.

    Chapter 11

    Drowzee, Wigglytuff, and Chatot looked up as the door into the Guildmaster's chamber creaked opened. Piplup and Chimchar stepped inside quickly and shut the door behind them. "Friends!" Wigglytuff beamed. "I'm glad to see you're alright!"

    "Thanks to Drowzee!" Chimchar pointed out.

    "It was nothing." Drowzee waved his hand modestly. "Anyone else would have done the same."

    Piplup straightened up. "I don't think anyone else could have done what you did. How did you make Weavile and the others disappear like that?"

    Drowzee frowned. "That is what we have gathered for today. I have some very important news for you."

    "It had better be!" Chatot squawked impatiently. "We could be handling the matter of our expedition to Temporal Tower right now!"

    Wigglytuff slapped Chatot on the back. "Don't be such a grump! Let the good man speak!"

    "Thank you, Wigglytuff." Drowzee bowed his head to the Guildmaster. "Now, the weather, Team Raider's betrayal, the attack by Weavile and her gang, everything strange that has occured lately can be explained in one simple sentence." He turned to directly face Piplup. "Piplup, there is a reason that Gallade, er, Mew, er, Swampert, oh you get the picture! There is a reason that he's after you."

    "You said this could be summed up in one sentence!" Chatot screeched. "Just spit it out!"

    Wigglytuff smacked his friend on the back of the head. "Give him a chance, meanie!"

    "Thank you again, Wigglytuff." Drowzee sounded slightly exasperated. "Now, Piplup, all of this is happening because you are-"

    The door burst open and Sunflora rushed in. "Everyone!" she screamed. They all whirled to face her, alarmed."Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh!"

    "What is it?" Chimchar inquired. "What's wrong?"

    "Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh..."

    "What is it, girl?" Wigglytuff rushed up to her. "Trouble at the mill?"

    "We don't have a mill!" Chatot growled.

    "Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh..."

    "The barn? Wigglytuff guessed. "The barn's on fire!"

    "We don't have a barn!" Chatot growled again.

    "Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh..."

    Piplup sighed. "How long do you think this will take?"

    Chimchar sighed in response. "Long enough," he groaned.

    "The well! Timmy's stuck in the well!"

    "We don't have a well!"

    "Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh..."

    "Will you all SHUT UP!!!"

    Everyone was quiet immediately. Loudred stood in the doorway, Chimecho floating beside him. "Thank you, Loudred," she thanked.

    "Finally, someone with reason," Piplup breathed heavily.

    "HEY!" Chimchar, Chatot, and Sunflora all snapped.

    "Sorry, but it had to be said," Piplup apologised. "What is it, Chimecho?"

    Chimecho shuddered. "Treasure Town's been set ablaze! Lightning struck one of the shops and now everything's on fire!"

    "The whole town?!?" Chatot gasped. "Oh no! We've got to do something!"

    "Of all the times," Drowzee grumbled. "We'll have to stop the fire before we do anything else."

    Wigglytuff frowned. "I'll gather a team to fight the fire."

    "I'll head it," Piplup decided. "And I think I know just the Pokemon..."


    "Attention!"

    A team of Pokemon stood in front of the Guild. Piplup stood at the head, with Corphish and Dugtrio right behind him. Also accompanying him were Marowak from the town's dojo, Manaphy, another member of Team Pokepals, and young Marill.

    Piplup eyed Marill. "Where's Azurill?"

    "He's with Mr. Kecleon and Mr. Kecleon at Sharpedo Bluff," Marill answered. "I didn't want him to get hurt."

    "A wise call," Piplup nodded. "Now, come on troops! Let's move out!" He saluted.

    "Yes sir!"

    "Wait!"

    "What is it Dugtrio?"

    "Are we supposed to salute you back? Because I don't have arms."



    I hope you like it! It's a little jumbled and a little short, but I still hope that it's appealing.
    Dimensions of Darkness - on hiatus l Sgt. Froakie - ongoing l Envoy - upcoming

    harmoNy - one-shot l The Piplup and Chimchar Variety Hour - on hiatus
    Author's Profile

    Latest Chapter (Sgt. Froakie): Chapter 2 - Beware the Cute Ones
    Credit to Astral Shadow for the awesome sig!

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