So love it when IE starts pulling its **** and I lose posts.
Firstly, is the random changing of font size, really needed.
Secondly you need to work on description, it's very scripty, flat and bland.
The clouds clusters quickly and they were green and looked... pixelated
The clouds quickly clustered together, just as quickly turning a vicious green color. Something else seemed wrong with the clouds- not that this was normal behavoir anyways. But the clouds were begining to no longer appear fluffy, taking on a harsh, blocky appearence.
The dialouge also leaves alot to be desired in some places.
"Digimon? What in on Pokearth?! Where am I?!" Blue shouted out to the sky.
What on earth
What in the world.
Choose one. Not mash both.
And to be frank the introduction of the characters also leaves alot to be desired, you dump their history on us, but don't describe them. As if emotional drama and hidden secrets of love, will make up for the fact you basically leave them as the average squirtle, Grovyle and Charmander. Nothing special.
So work on characters/description/pacing.
Didn't I review you before, saying the exact same thing?