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Thread: Fic ideas V.2

  1. #151
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    Hi, guys, I was wondering if I could get some feedback on the fanfiction idea I'm working on. I always thought it would be interesting to have a Magikarp as a starter Pokemon, especially since it's well, a Magikarp. Also, I've always been a fan of the underdog and so, the idea of a person who knows zilch about Pokemon training having to become one has it's appeal too. It's probably not that original, but I was wondering what you guys think off this summary:

    Teresa Wilkins never wanted to be a Pokémon trainer. To her, it’s overrated, dangerous, and detrimental to one’s sanity. After all, who could expect a human (like pathetic, all-too-vulnerable Teresa) to be able to control creatures that are practically death incarnate? It doesn’t help that her estranged father—an ex-trainer who couldn’t quite make it—expects her to be a Pokémon champion, when all Teresa wants to do is concentrate on her studies.

    To get her dad off her back, Teresa buys the most feeble, least time-consuming Pokémon she can think of—a Magikarp. Much to her amazement, Teresa finds she enjoys its company, and for the first time in her life, Teresa has a friend.

    However, Teresa hears that her father has gone missing, with no clues to his whereabouts whatsoever. Then things start getting worse for her, much worse. Goons come skulking around her boarding school campus. Threatening messages arrive on her personal computer and answering machine, demanding the research her father apparently has.

    Whatever legacy Ralph Wilkins left behind, Teresa is beginning to feel the full effects of it.

    An attack on her person makes Teresa realize that she’ll have to find her dad herself, if she ever wants to have a normal life. The police have already given up, much to her dismay. With the excuse of wanting to go on a Pokémon journey with her Magikarp, Teresa takes off, knowing that she’ll be the one to find her dad. It’s not like she will actually have to gain Gym badges, or battle with other trainers; Teresa expects that a loner like herself will gain little attention.

    How wrong she is.

    Criminal syndicates, conspiracies both old and new, troublesome trainers that won’t take no for an answer; Teresa encounters them all. And that’s not even mentioning the eccentric Pokémon she and Magikarp meet along the way. Teresa just knew that Pokémon journeys are way more trouble than they’re worth.

    So yeah, it's definitely a work in progress ^^;. I was wondering if you guys could help me with some of the rough spots I've been having.

    1.) Is there any tips you can give for forming my own region--like what you would like to see in Towns/Cities and in Gym Leaders?

    2.)From what you know about Teresa, is she likable? I have a tendency to make up protagonists who tend to annoy people.

    3.)When it comes to the as-of-now-unnamed Magikarp, would it be feasible for him to be able to win battles against other Pokemon if most of his battles are against weaker Pokemon, that happen to take place in the water. (For sure I know that this story will take place on a peninsula with surrounding islands--so there'll be definiteley a lot of water .)

    If anyone has feedback, I'll be super happy to accept it! Sorry if I made this too long.
    Last edited by Seres; 24th June 2009 at 9:05 AM.

  2. #152
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    Okay, I'm just going to focus on the Magikarp issue...

    I don't understand why she would want a Magikarp to be honest. If she doesn't even like Pokémon, then how would something as weak and laughable as a Magikarp convince her otherwise?

    Teresa reminds me a little of May, a character who didn't like Pokémon and only saw them as an excuse to travel. It was cute/fluffy Pokémon that caught her attention. Your character doesn't like them, prefers booksmarts and the like but is captivated by a Magikarp?

    Anyways, she would have a hard time defeating any other Pokémon in battle with a Magikarp. And even when it does evolve, most Gyms and battlefields aren't really equipped for water types to participate in. There may be a lot of water around, but that won't really help her out in any Gym other than one that specialises in water types.

    My advice would be to stick to the traditional starters. Or, give her something else that makes a little more sense, I guess her dad could have caught a Pokémon for her before he disappeared. However, feel free to ignore my advice as that is just my opinion, and there are lots of people out there who will disagree with me.

  3. #153
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    Quote Originally Posted by Semreth View Post
    My advice would be to stick to the traditional starters. Or, give her something else that makes a little more sense, I guess her dad could have caught a Pokémon for her before he disappeared. However, feel free to ignore my advice as that is just my opinion, and there are lots of people out there who will disagree with me.
    Actually no you hit the nail on the head- and if not an official starter, why not something of value? A Magikarp is a weak pokemon yes, but in the wrong hands it can also be a very dangerous pokemon. As shown with the one that was abused by James when he kicked it and then insulted it, and it had been as loyal and faithful and as obedient as a Magikarp could be.

    The other thing is a Magikarp is TO WEAK. Angel, a character I had made who had bought/obtained a Magikarp, tho she had a Charmeleon, found a loop hole. She used the fish as a bludgeon and whacked Geodude, Zubat and Pidgey with it, sending the aformentioned pokemon flying away. And thus with this training he was able to wield deadly tackles and splash attacks, using those rock like bone scales upon its body to the deadliest degree.

    But the only thing is, your trainer is just starting out. All she has for protection is a single, mostly worthless, magikarp.

    Your character is to much of an underdog, and the relationship/warming up to the Magikarp is to quick. She buys the most worthless one ever, thinking it won't require any hard work at all when, far from it, a Magikarp requires the most training and the most effort to level up. You ever use one ingame? It's horrible to level up, bait switch bait switch, it gets to lv 15 and you can start to do minimal damage here and there but it's mostly bait and switch untill level 20. I do not see this magikarp really evolving or being of any use, unless thrown, used as a weapon or anything of that sort. But then your character doesn't strike me one as to have a pokemon or even obtain one to shut her dad up.

    It seems you tried to poorly give your character a weakness, and in the rest of the place she comes out as a mary sue. I'm sorry, but she does. Her dad pesters her to become a trainer, to shut him up she buys the one that requires the least amount of effort and is the weakest thing ever, a Magikarp. Which as I said is only half true- it is weak but it is far from an easy street thing. She then instantly bonds with it, forgetting the fact it evolves into a Death incarnate pokemon, and forgetting the fact she disliked pokemon entirely.

    Her father who was a bum ex trainer now turns out to be someone who had something people wanted, and he disappears. Leaving his daughter alone, either he was kidnapped or he just ditched her, who knows, and his daughter is alone with a Magikarp. Then thugs and etc start pestering her, and instead of going to the police with this, like any sane person being stalked by scary, crazy people who seem to have the wrong person, I mean with how her father acted with what you said, wouldn't she doubt he did anything with his life after failing?

    You have her suddenly decide no I'll save him! I don't need protection from wild pokemon! I just have a magikarp!

    And then of course everyone is after her.

  4. #154
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    Though Yami is right to some degree, I don't know whats so hard about keeping a fish in a fish tank.

    because, you know, that is all the character would have to do <.<

    Though the rest of the mary sueness is kinda evident there, I couldn't help but break a little smile imagining that girl studying or reading a book in a room while chatting with a magikarp in a fish tank next to her who's just giving her a plain look.

    And I could actually see the character finding a friend in Magikarp. If all she did was keep karp in a fish bowl and feed it, why the heck would it evolve?
    It gets absolutely no battle experience, it barely has any swimming room for god's sake. Being as smart as she is, she knows Magikarp would never get the experience needed to evolve into death incarnate, especially since, as Yami said, the ammount of experience it does need is huge.

    Though a piece of advice, make the first pokemon she catches be something she could catch near the water's edge.

    Maybe a Rattata who was having a drink?
    A Surskit who was just having fun above the water?
    Or a baby Corphish who got disoriented after a few tackles, being new to fighting? (with this last option, a couple of losses in the first few matches would be better)

  5. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by niedude View Post
    Though Yami is right to some degree, I don't know whats so hard about keeping a fish in a fish tank.

    because, you know, that is all the character would have to do <.<
    No Niedude. That is not what I mean. If that's what I meant I would have not said anything. A Magikarp isn't a pokemon you can buy and forget about really, it's not a pokemon that would be really safe to have- you should realize this with that episode so long ago where if a Magikarp gets upset enough, it can evolve no matter what level it is. This is evident in the Lake Rage or whatever in gsc. They are a Volatile fish and dangerous. So if they have a chance to evolve into something so dangerous then frankly they aren't something you could take care of in a lackadasical style. I mean if she was starting out with a Goldeen or a Staryu, then that'd be different. Those pokemon don't explode into piles of village killing rage monsters.

    I couldn't help but break a little smile imagining that girl studying or reading a book in a room while chatting with a magikarp in a fish tank next to her who's just giving her a plain look.
    And I could actually see the character finding a friend in Magikarp.
    And I never said she couldn't be friends with a Magikarp. But you do note the one thing that the person did forget to say; how long she had the magikarp. Because if she got it and instantly bonded with it, then no. That's not reasonable if you hate something. Me? I hate spiders. Loathe them. The only spiders I liked were jumping spiders. The rest? Scared me to death. It took a long time for me to realise that most spiders aren't going around in ninja suits with orders to kill me. Aka the fear is a 2 way street with most spiders. But this girl? From the looks of things it's instantly and also, if she hates death incarnate, as I said so much. Why a friggin Magikarp. Any fish pokemon could have been used.

    Hell even Feebas- and it doesn't have a chance to evolve into a psycho dragon.
    If all she did was keep karp in a fish bowl and feed it, why the heck would it evolve?
    It gets absolutely no battle experience, it barely has any swimming room for god's sake. Being as smart as she is, she knows Magikarp would never get the experience needed to evolve into death incarnate, especially since, as Yami said, the ammount of experience it does need is huge.
    As I already said Magikarp are trigger happy fish. Ofc this would depend on the pokemon and the treatment, it still doesn't clear up, why a Magikarp of all things, when as I said there would be smarter, wiser choices. Especially for a girl who is 'so smart' and 'dislikes pokemon' and thinks they're 'Death Incarnate'.

  6. #156
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    Thank you for the feedback everyone .

    I think I forgot to mention something though, which I probably should of done earlier. Teresa's had the Magikarp for about five years before the beginning of the story (when she was twelve), and she has been mostly keeping it in a tank. She's definitely bonded with him. Talks to him all the time, especially when she's stressed. Taught him a couple tricks too, just for fun. She's even thinking of buying one of those really expensive translator prototypes, even though it'll probably never happen; her part-time job doesn't pay much, and she's already hving a hard enough time paying tuition. But she really wants to understand Magikarp better. Though I won't be the first one to say it and probably won't be the last, but Teresa's a bit of an idiot--when it comes to stuff not involving a book, she'll pretty much ignore something until it blows up in her face. Since she hasn't even thought of training the Magikarp, she's quite content to believe that it'll stay one forever. So yes, Teresa really doesn't think things through. Though I imagine it'll be a while before the Magikarp in question evolves.

    But yes, I agree with you. Teresa herself shouldn't decide to go off on a Pokemon journey if she finds the idea juvenile. I realize it's out of character, especially if she doesn't really like the man she's going after to save. If she, say, went to her dad's house to look for clues by herself--because she's cocky like that, finds the much sought out research by accident, and then realizes that, "Hey, maybe it wasn't such a great idea that I found the oh-so important research that my dad obviously hid for some reason because shouldn't I have noticed the shady looking guy in the dark uniform coming after it?"

    So, then I imagine they'll be some sort scuffle, and Teresa manages to escape (maybe through Magikarp bludgeoning?), only to realize that by doing so, she's led the "bad guys" to where she lives-- since there's been no goons shadowing her before, or threatening messages; I've decided that up until now, only curiosity made Teresa want to look for her dad, not desperation. Teresa obviously tries to go to the police, but I imagine that before she's able to do so, she'll be captured. She only has a Magikarp for protection after all, even if Teresa herself thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Then I imagine her "Pokemon Journey" will be more along the lines of finding a police officer if and when she escapes. Plus, I think it would interesting to see her try and masquerade as a Pokemon Trainer too. All the knowledge she has of training is the greatly exaggerated tales her dad's stuffed down her ears, or the shows she's watched on Television when she's got the chance.

    But yes, she does need another Pokemon for actual battles along the way; I was thinking of a Rattata, especially since they're so underused, despite being so common. Maybe Teresa could save one by accident, or maybe she bonds with one while she's captured.

    But once again, thank you for listening to my idea. It's really helping me think things through .
    Last edited by Seres; 24th June 2009 at 6:59 PM.

  7. #157
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    I doubt your character has a mindset for, Magikarp Bludgeoning. She is no Angel, and she doesn't have the mindset of my character either/or the personality. Angel had an 'if it's weak, disregard it, if it has merit, keep it', Magikarp had merit and her Charmeleon wouldn't help her. Next best thing was, teaching the Magikarp to use Tackle!

    But with your character keeping it in a fishbowl for so long/pet for so long, I doubt it'd take well/kindly to being used as a bludgeon or weapon for a while. There is a slight difference for a pet of five years, spoiled, and a fish bought and reciving training the moment it's out of the pokeball.

    Btw just remembered something. I doubt a Magikarp would suffer out of the water, aslong as it stays wet. Because it seems Magikarp unlike other fish pokemon is more suited to extreme conditions, given the fact it's scales seem to be water tight, it's body structure/evolutionary line suggest crude lungs to take in oxygen. So aslong as it stays wet, it would be alright. And it wouldn't really need water to battle. Everyone underestimates Magikarp at higher levels.

    Quote Originally Posted by Example
    “Caim, SPLASH!”

    “Karp!” The Magikarp let out before it seemed he had a siezure as his body suddenly jerked before the tail slammed into the ice; sending up a few small shards as his own ‘attack’ launched him into the air and above the Sneasel as the claws struck the ice where Caim had been moments ago. Shark let out a Sneasel version of ‘What!?’ as even his own trainer was taken aback.

    Then the large orange fish landed on the Sneasel's head and bounced off as the pink dark type was sent crashing into the ice much like his claws had been.

    Growling fiercely as he pulled himself free, he didn't even wait for his trainer to command him; lunging at the Magikarp again with a slash attack; but it just bounced harmlessly off of Caim's scales. Though a confused sounding ‘Karp?’ escaped him.

    “Caim, splash again! Splash for all you are worth you mindless thing!”
    but as I said, with Teresa's being a pet for so long, and being so weak she will need to have another pokemon. It is possible before her father disappeared, her 'friendship' with Magikarp was making her think pokemon might not be all so bad and she might possibly have obtained another pokemon. I'm sure a PokeCenter could also act as a Adoption center for wild/stray pokemon found injured or abandond.

  8. #158
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yami Ryu View Post
    I doubt your character has a mindset for, Magikarp Bludgeoning. She is no Angel, and she doesn't have the mindset of my character either/or the personality. Angel had an 'if it's weak, disregard it, if it has merit, keep it', Magikarp had merit and her Charmeleon wouldn't help her. Next best thing was, teaching the Magikarp to use Tackle!

    But with your character keeping it in a fishbowl for so long/pet for so long, I doubt it'd take well/kindly to being used as a bludgeon or weapon for a while. There is a slight difference for a pet of five years, spoiled, and a fish bought and reciving training the moment it's out of the pokeball.

    Btw just remembered something. I doubt a Magikarp would suffer out of the water, aslong as it stays wet. Because it seems Magikarp unlike other fish pokemon is more suited to extreme conditions, given the fact it's scales seem to be water tight, it's body structure/evolutionary line suggest crude lungs to take in oxygen. So aslong as it stays wet, it would be alright. And it wouldn't really need water to battle. Everyone underestimates Magikarp at higher levels.
    That's really helpful. Thank you! Through the games, I remember learning that Magikarp are pretty tough when it comes to living in their habitats; they can survive in polluted rivers and the like. The idea of them being like a crude lungfish is definitely appealing. Maybe Teresa's Magikarp can flop around on land, tripping people up, as long as she squirts it with one of those plant misters that she happens to have. I could see her being the type of person, who wanting to cuddle with her pet when the mood strikes her, carries around the mister just for that purpose.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yami Ryu View Post
    but as I said, with Teresa's being a pet for so long, and being so weak she will need to have another pokemon. It is possible before her father disappeared, her 'friendship' with Magikarp was making her think pokemon might not be all so bad and she might possibly have obtained another pokemon. I'm sure a PokeCenter could also act as a Adoption center for wild/stray pokemon found injured or abandond.
    I'm thinking that through her interactions with Magikarp, Teresa will probably think of Pokemon not as death incarnate, but more trouble than their worth. Magikarp are probably all that she can handle. She's probably quite content with just Magikarp (which is pretty stupid of her, I admit), but the Rattata I'm thinking of will definitely join their party, as Teresa did save it's life.
    Last edited by Seres; 24th June 2009 at 7:25 PM.

  9. #159
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    I have a pretty decent fic idea, it's kinda basic because I'm still trying to put things together, but here's the main thing of my story:

    It is set in both New York City (and other places, depending on the setting of a certain chapter) and in a dimension known as Elesia. The latter is a secret and secluded place where many Pokemon roam free, but it was then found by a scientist whose main objective is to create more violent and ferocious Pokemon, doing so by kidnapping certain Pokemon and taking DNA samples to create more fiendish-looking creatures.

    One of the Pokemon that he gets is a Chimchar, who ends up escaping and finds itself in the real world, in New York City to be exact. There, it befriends a 17-year-old girl named Michelle Larson, who decides to take care of it.

    The other characters include Andrew, 17, Michelle's closest friend and crush, Jessica, a 20-year-old college student at NYU, Mark, a 22-year-old student teacher, also in NYU, and Laura, a 25-year-old woman who is secretly skilled with swords.

    So yeah, the idea looks kinda fail, but like I said, I am building it up and there will be more Pokemon, characters, a name for the villain, et al.

    This is not exactly a Pokemon fic where the main character is all "I am gonna capture all the Pokemon and become a Pokemon master!" The main characters do not end up with a lot of Pokemon on their teams, and you will see why. Note that it will involve the plates, but Arceus will not be in the fic, so they will obviously serve a much different purpose.

    So go ahead. Critique away!
    Last edited by trixie08; 28th June 2009 at 9:30 AM.
    6 Years Past...

  10. #160
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    Okay, I have a fic idea that's....odd.... but could be interesting....here's the idea:


    It's called "Maximum Lockdown", and stars Kavan Symanov, the main character of Stupidity loves Company, and a side Character in Absence of Justice. In those, he was 13, but now he's 17, and works as a trader, professionals that organize trades between trainers...for a price. He's just a beginner, but is doing pretty good.

    So, he's just got a Lucario that someone's trading for a Salemence. The trainer gives him half of that paycheck (10,000 poke) and says he'll get the other half should the trade go well. Kavan's looking forward to that 20,000 poke, and eagerly goes on his way.

    The path through takes to Solencean town. There he rests...until the Lucario he travelling with attacks him in his sleep. Luckily for him, and un-luckily for the Lucario, Kavan has near super-human abilities due to his stay in Posea during the events of Absence of Justice, and quickly dispatches of the Lucario with his bare hands. Confused, he tries to call the police to restrain the Lucario, but communication is down. He runs out of the hotel he's staying at to see that the entire army has locked down Solencean town completely and no one is allowed access in or out. Kavan, feeling hopeless, is forced to remain there for a week. While he's there, the Lucario mysteriously disappears.

    Then, his brother, Taban Makarov, comes, gets in, and gets Kavan out. When Kavan asks how Taban got him out, Taban says nothing and walks off into the distance. Kavan, now confused, tries to go to Jubilife town.

    On the way, he encounters that same Lucario he was transporting. It turns out that he was Lunto, a Character from Absence of Justice. He was working as a spy and uncovering info on an important subject, though he wont tell Kavan what it is. When Kavan asks why Lunto attacked him, Lunto says it's because he thought Kavan was his target. Before Kavan can ask anymore, Lunto hurriedly leaves. Kavan, being an adventurous type, and having nothing better to do, follows Lunto.

    However, there is one thing on his mind in his whole journey:

    "I'm never getting that 20,000 poke...."


    ----
    What do you think? It has alot of Absence of Justice Characters in it, but you don't actually have to read AoJ to read this.
    Last edited by Chagen46; 28th June 2009 at 8:56 PM.

    Quote Originally Posted by meteor64 View Post
    I think Marowak is worse of an influence, he teaches me to dig out the bones of deceased family members and beat the hell out of people with them.
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  11. #161
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    Quote Originally Posted by trixie08 View Post
    I have a pretty decent fic idea, it's kinda basic because I'm still trying to put things together, but here's the main thing of my story:

    It is set in both New York City (and other places, depending on the setting of a certain chapter) and in a dimension known as Elesia. The latter is a secret and secluded place where many Pokemon roam free, but it was then found by a scientist whose main objective is to create more violent and ferocious Pokemon, doing so by kidnapping certain Pokemon and taking DNA samples to create more fiendish-looking creatures.

    One of the Pokemon that he gets is a Chimchar, who ends up escaping and finds itself in the real world, in New York City to be exact. There, it befriends a 17-year-old girl named Michelle Larson, who decides to take care of it.

    The other characters include Andrew, 17, Michelle's closest friend and crush, Jessica, a 20-year-old college student at NYU, Mark, a 22-year-old student teacher, also in NYU, and Laura, a 25-year-old woman who is secretly skilled with swords.

    So yeah, the idea looks kinda fail, but like I said, I am building it up and there will be more Pokemon, characters, a name for the villain, et al.

    This is not exactly a Pokemon fic where the main character is all "I am gonna capture all the Pokemon and become a Pokemon master!" The main characters do not end up with a lot of Pokemon on their teams, and you will see why. Note that it will involve the plates, but Arceus will not be in the fic, so they will obviously serve a much different purpose.

    So go ahead. Critique away!
    You know, I think I'd actually read this. Although it reminds me vaguely of season 3 of Digimon, Digimon Tamers, it could work.

    Now, in order for this to work, you need to put yourself in these people's shoes. Forget your love of Pokemon. Forget they exist. How would you react if you saw a small, orange chimpanzee-esque creature with a butt engulfed in flames. It doesn't go "ooh ooh" or "ah ah", it says a strange word, Chimchar, over and over again, mixing up the syllables sometimes (saying Charchim or Chachim or Chichi, etc).

    Pretty freaked out right? In order to correctly gauge a reaction to such an event you, like I mentioned already, need to think how someone would react if Pokemon was never a franchise, as if Satoshi Tajiri never created Pokemon as a video game or anime. You know, that could be interesting, if he was your villain. But I'm not trying to help you with your plot.

    Also, you'll need to elaborate on Elesia. If it's another dimension, how do you get there? How would you get back?

    Like I said, this could be a really interesting story, not like the typical fic on the forums. I like it. Good luck!
    Current Black Team: Rivka (Stoutland), Elmo (Musharna), Scarlett (Whimsicott), Gabriel (Carracosta), Reese (Klang), Sean (Mienfoo); all are at level 47. Currently in Victory Road.

  12. #162
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    Lightbulb So I had this idea...

    Okay, let's have Dawn (or some other generally cheerful character) win a trip to Orre, specifically, Phenac City.

    So she takes a boat to Gateon Port, with a car waiting for her there. As they travel the deserts to Phenac, their car breaks down. Don't worry, they're just outside of a town!

    Pyrite Town.

    This leaves Dawn (or other character) in what is pretty much the ghetto of the Pokemon World.
    ===
    What do you think? Good Idea?
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    Only if there's some hilariously bad rap number involving a singing snubbull and some Mexican Rattata on the cruise ship there.

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    So there's this thread http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=390849 for ideas you know it says Fic Ideas.
    Okay, let's have Dawn (or some other generally cheerful character) win a trip to Orre, specifically, Phenac City.
    Um what? Win a trip how?

    So she takes a boat to Gateon Port, with a car waiting for her there. As they travel the deserts to Phenac, their car breaks down. Don't worry, they're just outside of a town!

    Pyrite Town.

    This leaves Dawn (or other character) in what is pretty much the ghetto of the Pokemon World.
    Yeeeeaaaah and last time I checked in XD they were trying to make it better- it was thanks to Snaggem and others that it was as bad off as it was. So ... yeah.

    I really don't see what the point of your story is outside of I DONT LIKE HOW THESE CHARACTERS ARE SO GODDAMN HAPPY. YOU KNOW WHAT IM GONNA RAIN ON THEIR PARADE. BWAHAHA-

    Yeah .. there's NOTHING here. Just you tormenting someone.

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    Well, what if she comes out of there as a badass or somethin'? Who kicks thugs heads in for laughs?

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    It's a good idea, but I don't think it'll last THAT long.
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    P.S. Yami Ryu, if you're reading this, I'd just like to tell you that you have the same birthday as The Queen! ;D

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elrade View Post
    Well, what if she comes out of there as a badass or somethin'? Who kicks thugs heads in for laughs?
    So basically take a cannon character, twist them into something drastically changed? Just as I said once again because 'omg they were to happy I must destroy this happiness!' That's not a reason to really write a book.

    I read a book some coughdrop did because oh the events of 9/11 inspired him to write!

    It came out as a trashy story, slamming all of humanity, all relegion, all goverment, and making it seem that crackpots who migrated to a mars coloney and allowed legal use of drugs and underage sex, were heaven blessed saints.

    So just because you can write something.

    Doesn't always mean you should.

  18. #168
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    The fact that she mentioned that they were a generally happy character doesn't mean that that is the basis of the whole story. It's just part of their personality, something which you seem to be taking more notice of than the rest of it.
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  19. #169

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    Originally posted by Miror B.
    Okay, let's have Dawn (or some other generally cheerful character) win a trip to Orre, specifically, Phenac City.

    So she takes a boat to Gateon Port, with a car waiting for her there. As they travel the deserts to Phenac, their car breaks down. Don't worry, they're just outside of a town!

    Pyrite Town.

    This leaves Dawn (or other character) in what is pretty much the ghetto of the Pokemon World.
    ===
    What do you think? Good Idea?
    I have to agree with Yami; this idea is pretty lacking and flat.

    What's the plot? So Dawn is the ghetto? No what? What does she do?
    And Dawn herself has the personality of sand paper so right there the characters seems uninteresting since you described them in one sentence.

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  20. #170
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    well i'm going to start a story about a new pokemon region,with two trainers traveling,defeating gym leaders and stopping the bad guys,you know the usual,while dealing with the pokedex and helping the professors assistants
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  21. #171
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    Okay, your writing a typical Journey fic in a new region.

    There's not really anything anyone can say about that other than try to make it unique, sometimes people get bored of the same old same old. So if there's something about your typical journey fic that makes it stand out from the crowd then people will read it, well if they think it's well written.
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  22. #172
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    Ok, I've got a problem. The fic I'm working on right now isn't so much on the story. It's pretty much a typical journey fic. I'm really, really focusing on characterization, but some of my characters are going to look like the worst kind of stereotypes when they first appear. I'm sure readers will like it if they stick with it, but I'm afraid they won't stick around long enough to get to the good parts.

    I've come up with a few ideas. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have one of my more seemingly stereotypical characters use a blind Pokemon as his primary. I'm going to use that as best I can, but I don't think it's enough, especially since that character isn't part of the main group.

    I thought about putting magical elements in it, too. Not flashy magic, more like the kind of magic you feel like you could find if you looked hard enough (like the manga Aqua and Aria, if you've ever read those).

    I've also considered having my characters journeying in a foreign region that has a different language and culture. I like that idea, and I have some specific things I'd like to do with it, but I wouldn't want to get to that part right away. So it wouldn't exactly help me keep readers around.

    Well, those are my ideas so far. I had some others, but they weren't as good. Anyone got anything else? Hey... if I did a kind of special league for special needs Pokemon... I'd have to re-write what I have, but it's only one chapter, it wouldn't be that hard... or maybe I wouldn't have to, after all... could be interesting. Hm... but... no, that could still work.

    Anyway, what do you guys think? Anyone got any other ideas?
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  23. #173
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hakajin View Post
    It's pretty much a typical journey fic. I'm really, really focusing on characterization, but some of my characters are going to look like the worst kind of stereotypes when they first appear. I'm sure readers will like it if they stick with it, but I'm afraid they won't stick around long enough to get to the good parts.

    Well, then you'll have to either go back and introduce your characters so they are not so stereotypical, or appeal to your readers differently via plot. Since it is a new region, start off your story with an interesting little tidbit or give a compelling reason why your characters want to journey there so badly.



    Quote Originally Posted by Hakajin View Post
    I'm pretty sure I'm going to have one of my more seemingly stereotypical characters use a blind Pokemon as his primary. I'm going to use that as best I can, but I don't think it's enough, especially since that character isn't part of the main group.

    It certiainly puts him at a disadvantage, and I'm interested to see how the two of them as partners would cope, but definitely do not count on that being the only thing to drive your story forward. If anything, that's just another little plot device your readers will smile at and say "Oh, that's cool," and keep on reading. It's not an attention-holder at all.


    Quote Originally Posted by Hakajin View Post
    I thought about putting magical elements in it, too. Not flashy magic, more like the kind of magic you feel like you could find if you looked hard enough (like the manga Aqua and Aria, if you've ever read those).

    Hm, not read those manga, and usually I'm not a fan of magic in Pokemon stories, most often because they are not done correctly and I don't see magic as really having a place in the Pokeworld. If you can give an explanation for this magic, small as it may be, then I think you'll be okay. Also as long as it's not something just given to your main characters for the heck of it, and the magic is fairly normal for this region... okay, it sounds alright.




    Quote Originally Posted by Hakajin View Post
    Hey... if I did a kind of special league for special needs Pokemon... I'd have to re-write what I have, but it's only one chapter, it wouldn't be that hard... or maybe I wouldn't have to, after all... could be interesting. Hm... but... no, that could still work.

    What? Where does this fit in with your idea above? If it's completely separate, then I'd say it makes a pretty poor story idea, no offense. :/ If, however, you plan on implementing it into your story above, how on earth does it fit in? It seems completely random...

  24. #174
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    Well, then you'll have to either go back and introduce your characters so they are not so stereotypical, or appeal to your readers differently via plot. Since it is a new region, start off your story with an interesting little tidbit or give a compelling reason why your characters want to journey there so badly.
    Well, I've only introduced one character so far. The problem is that... well, I guess I kind of almost want the characters to seem stereotypical at first. I definitely want to have my protagonist make assumptions about them. But the main problem is that it takes time to develop a character, especially when you don't know much about her past at first. It's not a problem with my main character, though, since it's in the first person and the readers know pretty much everything about her.

    I'm not sure I want to do a new region. I did mention making it a foreign place, which I think is a good idea, but there are still problems with the timing. I'm still trying to think of a way to work that out. I could have parts of the region more modernized than others, I suppose... yeah, that could work.

    It certiainly puts him at a disadvantage, and I'm interested to see how the two of them as partners would cope, but definitely do not count on that being the only thing to drive your story forward. If anything, that's just another little plot device your readers will smile at and say "Oh, that's cool," and keep on reading. It's not an attention-holder at all.
    Oh, no, I definitely wasn't planning on making that the crux of my whole story. I was thinking of how to set that character apart, or at least to hint that there's more to him than you see at first. I just don't want readers to write him off as a stereotype.

    Hm, not read those manga, and usually I'm not a fan of magic in Pokemon stories, most often because they are not done correctly and I don't see magic as really having a place in the Pokeworld. If you can give an explanation for this magic, small as it may be, then I think you'll be okay. Also as long as it's not something just given to your main characters for the heck of it, and the magic is fairly normal for this region... okay, it sounds alright.
    Ah, the main character of those manga sometimes sees supernatural things, like one time, she witnessed a fox spirits' wedding. It's mostly a slice-of-life story, but... It was a separate idea from my foreign region idea, but it would actually fit. I wouldn't have to make it a huge part of the plot, just certain episodes that involve something extraordinary. It would help make the region feel more foreign and mysterious, I think... and it would also fit with the themes of the story.
    What? Where does this fit in with your idea above? If it's completely separate, then I'd say it makes a pretty poor story idea, no offense. :/ If, however, you plan on implementing it into your story above, how on earth does it fit in? It seems completely random...
    Yeah, it was completely separate. I was thinking it might be interesting to have Pokemon with different disabilities battle, and to show how different it makes their styles... it was just kind of a random idea that occurred to me, though, and I realized it doesn't really work because it'd probably come down to the characters using only one Pokemon each.

    Anyway, thanks for the feedback. It's nice to get some perspective on my ideas.
    Last edited by Hakajin; 22nd July 2009 at 8:27 AM.
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  25. #175
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    Hey... if I did a kind of special league for special needs Pokemon... I'd have to re-write what I have, but it's only one chapter, it wouldn't be that hard... or maybe I wouldn't have to, after all... could be interesting. Hm... but... no, that could still work.
    Yeah, it was completely separate. I was thinking it might be interesting to have Pokemon with different disabilities battle, and to show how different it makes their styles... it was just kind of a random idea that occurred to me, though, and I realized it doesn't really work because it'd probably come down to the characters using only one Pokemon each.
    1: With how pokemon centers are 'today' in the pokemon games, no pokemon is disabled/crippled/handicapped via battling.

    2: A pokemon born crippled, disabled or wrong according to nature, would most likely be destroyed or abandond by the parents.

    3: Special Needs pokemon, would require very special care. This also wouldn't be like 'lol a charizard that can not fly', this would have to be serious injuries, mental and physical.

    4: Special Needs pokemon would require a lot of money for care. Because their care needs aren't the same as others.

    5: What trainers would keep these sorts of pokemon. Would you honestly expect a person to force a Rapidash to become mr Tripod? No. It would be put down. Or anything seriously extreme and cruel like that. And even if they did keep them, again what sort of trainers would just use them in special sports like this. For quick bucks? Fame? That's disgusting.

    Overall it's just a bad, bad idea.

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