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Thread: Fic ideas V.2

  1. #201

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    Quote Originally Posted by lugia*master View Post
    [SPOILER]It's about a boy called Ken who, hearing about a spate of armed attacks on Blackthorn city (he lives in Mahogany town), decides he wants to have a go at stopping them. When thinking about how he's going to do it, sitting at his favourite hiding spot in the Lake Of Rage, he's somehow transformed into a Dratini. The basic plot of the story, is if he can find out how he became a pokemon, how he can change back, and if he can stop Team Rocket, even while he's in a dratini form.[/SPOILER]
    First off, I read the first bit about the kid ditching his family, traveling across all that terrain and through the ice cave, and then once he gets there he hopes to stop this attack thinking that this seemed unrealistic and once he got there he would be captured/killed.

    Second, you throw in this entirely different twist that hinders this kid even further. Not only can't he use any other Pokemon he may have, but he's now doomed to slink along the ground to get from A to B. A Rocket grunt with a Golbat and an Ultra Ball would stop this kid dead.

    Like BA said, where is the Police? Gym Leaders? Someone more suitable for this task than a kid?

    TBH, evne if you wrote it, I probably wouldn't read it. The idea just sounds bland and too complicated to follow.

  2. #202
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    Heres my idea for a fic:

    A young man is born into a rich family. He gets everything he wants, all the Pokemon, all the toys, everything, but he is unhappy. His parents are never home, and everybody at his school doesn't want to be his friend because they sterotype him as a jerk who thinks he is the only thing that matters, and most of all he wants to become a Pokemon Champion, so he cooks up a plot to run away to the Hoenn Region and start a Pokemon journey. But before he can tell what is what he is lured into joining the evil faction Team Magma, now he must find away out of it, so he can fufill his dream of becoming a Pokemon Champion.

  3. #203
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    Quote Originally Posted by .Bright Side. View Post
    First off, I read the first bit about the kid ditching his family, traveling across all that terrain and through the ice cave, and then once he gets there he hopes to stop this attack thinking that this seemed unrealistic and once he got there he would be captured/killed.

    Second, you throw in this entirely different twist that hinders this kid even further. Not only can't he use any other Pokemon he may have, but he's now doomed to slink along the ground to get from A to B. A Rocket grunt with a Golbat and an Ultra Ball would stop this kid dead.

    Like BA said, where is the Police? Gym Leaders? Someone more suitable for this task than a kid?

    TBH, evne if you wrote it, I probably wouldn't read it. The idea just sounds bland and too complicated to follow.
    The way you say throw, and ditch, makes it sound a lot worse. Plus, you've got everything wrong. I have an explanation for everything you've pointed out.

    He does have pokemon, you know, and why are you saying it like: Ditched his family, went through the ice cave, your making it sound rubbish, well don't knock it until you've read it.

    He has his own pokemon, and, as for Gym leaders and such, - I feel like I'm giving the entire plot of the game away, so thanks - the Rockets have surrounded the city in some sort of... I don't know, not exactly dome. I'm not going all simpson's, but yeah. Well, if he's just going to be captured and killed, then what's the point of trainers liek ash and whatever going to fight the Galactic's and such? Isn't there a risk of him being killed too? Yes, there is, and yes, he does get captured sometimes, but that doesn't stop him.

    The twist is the entire point of the story. It adds that extra spark to make it unique, and different. And Dragonair can fly you know, that's what those little wings near it's... ears are for.

    It's much mroe itneresting, and not as complicated as you think.

    --------------Double post, merged by lugia*master----------------

    Burrado Aipom, and Bright Side>>

    I feel like I'm giving the game away with this, but if it satisfies, so be it.

    1. The Rockets have constructed a machine that generates a forcefield around the city. They have special sutis, which alows them to and fro frmo it. As a result of this, no-one can get in or out - except the rockets, that is. The only enterances, are via Ice cave, but only then a secret passage way which Ken will 'stumble upon', and the Lake Of Rage is connected underwater to the lake in Dragon's Den, but that is unkown to everyone, well, but clair and the pokemon. Ken only finds out when he get's turned into a Dragonair. Oh, also, I put Dratini instead of Dragonair. My bad. That's h wo they were in the Lake Of Rage.

    Clair is in dragon's den, battling and dealing, stalling for time if you like, with the Rocket admins. That's why she isn't out there: She's guarding the secret that they are attackign the city for.

    And, he's not just some random kid. He has pokemon. Well, a pokemon, but I'm not going to reveal anymore than I have done, which I don't think I should.

    I get the impression that, just because it hasn't been done before, it can't happen? I'll need a few minutes to explain.
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    Last edited by lugia*master; 23rd July 2009 at 10:50 PM.
    The eye of the storm, centre of the all rage;
    How come to thee, the endless die'd light...



    P.S. Yami Ryu, if you're reading this, I'd just like to tell you that you have the same birthday as The Queen! ;D

  4. #204
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    Quote Originally Posted by lugie*master
    1. The Rockets have constructed a machine that generates a forcefield around the city. They have special sutis, which alows them to and fro frmo it. As a result of this, no-one can get in or out - except the rockets, that is. The only enterances, are via Ice cave, but only then a secret passage way which Ken will 'stumble upon', and the Lake Of Rage is connected underwater to the lake in Dragon's Den, but that is unkown to everyone, well, but clair and the pokemon. Ken only finds out when he get's turned into a Dragonair. Oh, also, I put Dratini instead of Dragonair. My bad. That's h wo they were in the Lake Of Rage.
    The forcefield thing is fine, though I find it a bit moronic that TR would go in and out as they please, because a police force of some kind would be arround the area in case someone came out, this way they could get the person and take their suit (I assume you mean "suit" when you typed "sutis").

    The connection between Dragon's Den and Icefall Cave/Lake of Rage is interesting, and actually a nice twist. Theo nly thing is that I don't like the sound of "stumble upon" - sounds like "Gary-Stu found secret tunnel all by himself and doesn't tell any police that could actually help out with the situation." Since you've also made a connection between the Lake of Rage and Dragon's Den, I think that's a much more logical approach to how he would get in - I think it would be a good idea, though, is if you give him a Pokémon that could swim underwater and find this entrance, instead of him finding it as a Pokémon - btw, I think you should ditch that idea, you've already got enough to make this character send off Stu-signals. Also, Dragonair is worse of a choice - instead of making him a tiny creature that's more babyishly naïve, you've given him the body of a Pokémon that is even more rare, and has an artillery (SP?) of attacks, powerful ones too.

    Quote Originally Posted by lugie*master
    Clair is in dragon's den, battling and dealing, stalling for time if you like, with the Rocket admins. That's why she isn't out there: She's guarding the secret that they are attackign the city for.
    So instead of getting away long enough to get the police or some other kind of strong help by leaving through the secret entrance, she stays and fights in hopes 100+ TR members don't kill her first. And I assume you'll have Dragon-boy come in and eventually save the day? It's a lot better if Clair used her brain to get out of there, because TR would follow her for this "secret" instead of attacking the city. So what if they find this entrance? At least they'd be away from the city and police can help out.

    Quote Originally Posted by lugia*master
    And, he's not just some random kid. He has pokemon. Well, a pokemon, but I'm not going to reveal anymore than I have done, which I don't think I should.
    Making him have a Pokémon doesn't not make him a "random kid." Unless this Pokémon is some uber-powerful/Legendary, there shouldn't be a problem in saying what it is.

    Quote Originally Posted by lugie*master
    I get the impression that, just because it hasn't been done before, it can't happen? I'll need a few minutes to explain.
    No, it can't happen because you don't have your thoughts and everything planned out. You have a Stu-Story, and you wanted our opinions on the idea, so we gave them to you. If you don't like them, don't respond and post the story - you won't get any different reviews on an actual Fic than you will here, so don't think this thread is just for ideas that everyone says "Yeah, do it." No, this is so other authors can help find the flaws and mistakes in the plot/idea and help to make the story better.

    Really, take all of this as helpful advice, and not like "Oh God, everyone's out to get me!" crap. It will help you out in the long run.


    BA~~

  5. #205

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    Quote Originally Posted by lugia*master View Post
    The only enterances, are via Ice cave, but only then a secret passage way which Ken will 'stumble upon', and the Lake Of Rage is connected underwater to the lake in Dragon's Den, but that is unkown to everyone, well, but clair and the pokemon. Ken only finds out when he get's turned into a Dragonair.
    It's random easter eggs like this protagonists get that really turn me off.

    There was a lot for you to explain about the plot, which does make it complicated and not easy to pick up.

    Like I said before, it seems overly complex and to have too many plotholes.

    Anything else I could possibly say was addressed by BA.

    Really, take all of this as helpful advice, and not like "Oh God, everyone's out to get me!" crap. It will help you out in the long run.

  6. #206
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    *raises hand* I also has question about your idea, lugia*master.

    Where's Lance in all this? Blackthorn City's his home, the Dragon Clan is probably the nearest thing to his family and Clair is literally his cousin. He's the champion, so he'd got the power and authority to do something, and he's just about the most proactive law enforcing E/GL in any canon. No way he's gonna step aside and do nothing; if anyone's going to put TR down, it'd be him, and if anyone other than Clair is likely to know this 'secret', again, it'd be him. It doesn't look like you've factored him into the idea at all, but in truth his presence--or lack thereof--needs more than just a little bit of thought.

  7. #207
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    Purple Drake has uncovered the secret... thingy of the story. Lance has some bizarre involvement in the plot of the story, but, I can't give that away. It would ruin the entire story.

    Yes, BA, I did mean suits, that's just my rubbish eyes getting the better of me, that, and my ridiculously small keyboard.

    I am taking your advice, and I know it's not jsut a thread of praise. What I'm doing is, when someone says about a bit they don't understand, I'm giving them the information that will make them understand, so then they can tell me if it's any more... understandable.

    There's like, 2 admins in this story. Well, two TR admins, and the Dragon's Den is a lot bigger than on the games. It goes underground, and I suppose it's turning into a game of 'Death Ambush'.
    The eye of the storm, centre of the all rage;
    How come to thee, the endless die'd light...



    P.S. Yami Ryu, if you're reading this, I'd just like to tell you that you have the same birthday as The Queen! ;D

  8. #208
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    Quote Originally Posted by lugia*master View Post
    Purple Drake has uncovered the secret... thingy of the story. Lance has some bizarre involvement in the plot of the story, but, I can't give that away. It would ruin the entire story.
    ...

    I AM SO EFFING THERE.


    /spam.

    (Psst. It's purple_drake btw. Lowercased + underscored. Ta. ;3 )

  9. #209
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    /SPAM ?

    Oh, right, sorry. purple_drake

    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ________________________________

    If you don't mind my asking, bright side, what plot holes would they be?
    The eye of the storm, centre of the all rage;
    How come to thee, the endless die'd light...



    P.S. Yami Ryu, if you're reading this, I'd just like to tell you that you have the same birthday as The Queen! ;D

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    As I was writing my fanfiction, Deeds of Darkness, I got an idea for a sort of sequel to it. It will have some trainer fic material in it, but eventually it becomes a mystery fanfiction. So here's the idea so far:

    The story begins a few months after the plot of Deeds of Darkness finishes. The Sinnoh region is slowly getting back on its feet after the Darkrai crisis ended. The characters end up going their separate ways to pursue their dreams. The main character of DoD, Sadie, is traveling the region to compete in Contests and fulfill her goal of becoming a Coordinator. She wold soon travel to the other regions as well. The plot focuses mainly on her best friend Rena, who is still in Sinnoh. Rena has wanted to become a professional Pokemon trainer, and decides that this is what she will do with her life. She has always been a silly sort of person who doesn't take things seriously. She views life as an adventure in its own, and her head is in the clouds most of the time. Rena knows that to be successful in life, you need to be serious about your goals. She is hoping that her journey to beat the Elite Four will teach her a thing or two about life. Before she departs Sandgem, her mother gives her a journal to record her travels in. She also gives her a camera to take pictures of all the cities she would be in. Rena bikes to Jubilife City, and buys a train ticket to Oreburgh and faces Roark. She defeats him and wins a Gym Badge, but for some reason she isn't feeling as accomplished as she might have liked. She records her battle in her journal, and leaves the Gym. She spends a few days in Oreburgh, just kicking back. She soon begins to draw faces in her journal to kill time, and people who act strange or funny around her. Rena has always wanted to visit Veilstone City, and decides that after she faces Maylene she would do some sight-seeing. When she arrives in Veilstone, she rents a room at the local Pokemon Center. That night, she tunes into the news to watch Sadie compete in a Hearthrome Pokemon Contest. When the camera pans across the audience, Rena catches a glimpse of a man she drew in her journal. He was wearing an entirely different outfit, his beard was shaved, and his hair was a different color. This strikes Rena as odd, but she ignores it and watches the contest. Sadie's opponent looks strikingly similar to her, only with lighter, shorter hair. Sadie ends up winning the contest, and Rena is happy for her. The following morning Rena tunes in for the follow-up news story of the contest, but instead finds a breaking report that Sadie's opponent was dead. She had been found lying on the floor of her hotel room, with a cold plate of food on the table. Rena immediately goes on the computer and is about to email Sadie when she sees an email she had already sent her. Sadie was terrified from the murder of her opponent, and is worried that she might be next. Rena mentions her journal, and the man in the audience. She tells Sadie to keep it a secret.
    Rena soon becomes intrigued by the death of the girl, and is determined to find out more. She is so caught up in the mystery that she forgets about Gym battles and gives all her attention to the case. A friend of her cousin's gives her an old PokeDex that he specially programmed to store data on people instead of Pokemon. Her drawings and notes soon prove to be vital to the mystery and lead her to many places in Sinnoh, including a questionable building which has more to do with the murder than Rena thought.

    I realize the end paragraph is a bit vague. I'm still working on the plot, so any of this can change. What do you think of it so far? Any suggestions?
    Last edited by Mrs. Lovett; 25th July 2009 at 2:34 AM.


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  11. #211
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    Quote Originally Posted by lugia*master
    Purple Drake has uncovered the secret... thingy of the story. Lance has some bizarre involvement in the plot of the story, but, I can't give that away. It would ruin the entire story.
    What? Clair is keeping Lance a secret? This does not make any sense at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by lugia*master
    I am taking your advice, and I know it's not jsut a thread of praise. What I'm doing is, when someone says about a bit they don't understand, I'm giving them the information that will make them understand, so then they can tell me if it's any more... understandable.
    Okay, then just don't get upset when we present critisism or point out problems. My advice right now is to just go and type this, because we can't help much more without knowing this "big secret" that apparently is Lance being hidden away by Clair... or at least that's what I got from it, and she's just protecting him for some reason.

    *~*~*~*~*~

    I feel like posting my idea for a new Fic.

    This Fic will involve the characters Gold, Silver, and Crystal (from the games, not manga). Gold (who goes by the nickname Gabe) travels to Johto after an arguement with his parents - he told them he'd rather be a Pokémon Breeder than a regular trainer. I was thinking of having that when guys want to be Pokémon Breeders, that it's like the equivalent of someone in our world saying they're gay, and then have Gabe's parents reject him, resulting in him traveling to Johto since he's not changing his mind. Once he gets to Johto he is told by Professor Oak (who gave him a Bulbasaur before he left Kanto) to visit Elm to become officially registered. When Gabe goes to Elms lab he sees that the lab is closed for the day because Professor Elm is at the graduation for New Bark Prep where he is giving the three students with the highest grades a Pokémon. Gabe stays in the back to wait until Elm is done, and the first two students go up, one getting a Chikorita (Crystal, but she goes by Kris), and the second (her name is Solina, or Soul for short) gets Totodile. Before the third student can get one, a red-haired teenager breaks through some window and steal the last Pokémon, which is Cyndaquil. No one knows what's happening and the guy gets away. Gabe goes up to Elm after the commotion (while he's registering Kris and Soul) and says he needs to be registered as well. Once they're all registered, Soul leaves on her own and Elm asks Gabe and Kris to take an egg he recently found to be looked at by a man named Mr. Quay (he is known for studying eggs).

    Before they leave, Elm gets a phone call and turns on the TV to see that Brass Tower has been attacked by a villianous group known as the Galactic Rockets (TR & TG disbanded a few years back, and suddenly reappeared as this new group). Gabe and Kris leave soon afterwards, and when they get to Cherrygrove, where Quay is, they meet a boy who goes by the name Silver (he's the one who stole the Cyndaquil). He battles them, but leaves when he gets a phone call from someone. Kris and Gabe continue to Quay's house, but are ambushed by some Galactic Rocket grunts and the egg gets stolen. They tell Elm, who gets upset and says that the egg isn't in any records and that he doesn't know if it's a Pokémon that could do harm in "the wrong hands." They finish talking, Gabe and Kris continue on (they both want to be breeders) to Violet City to meet new Pokémon/people. It's nighttime when they finally get there, and Gabe wants to look for Gastly in Sprout Tower, though Kris stays at the Center. While there he encounters Silver again, and he's looking for the egg. Before, Gabe assumed that he was part of GR, but now thinks otherwise and tries to ask him about it, though Silver only says he knows GR has the egg, and they were last seen in Azalea Town.

    The Fic continues as Gabe and Kris go to Azalea Town to recover the egg since they were the ones who lost it in the first place. They end up having to look in many more towns/cities and end up joining a secret organization who had been preparing for an attack by an evil group. This secret organization knows a lot more about the Galactic Rockets than more other people, and Gabe and Kris agree to help them. So basically, they go and the climax happens involving the Galactic Rockets, Silver, and some other shocking twists I might throw in there.

    Oh, I guess I should also say that the Galactic Rockets are trying to upset the Legendary Beasts by destroying "meaningful" places, this way the beasts will end up awakening the Legendary Birds of Kanto, and once they fight, Lugia and Ho-oh will come out of their resting to stop them all from destroying Johto (Lugia and Ho-oh are what GR is really after).


    BA~~

  12. #212
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    ACtually, no, it's not that. Lance is actually part of the Team Rocket clan. You can hate me all you want, but he has a major part to play as a villain.
    The eye of the storm, centre of the all rage;
    How come to thee, the endless die'd light...



    P.S. Yami Ryu, if you're reading this, I'd just like to tell you that you have the same birthday as The Queen! ;D

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    ^Eh, it's still a little iffy. You can try to pull it off, just remember to keep it in the range of his character... I still can hardly see this happening though, as he's the champion, and he's known to help out and fight against Team Rocket.

    But still, I say try this out and see how it's recieved by reviewers, because only a handful of people look at this thread.


    BA~~

  14. #214
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    I know. Still, we'll never get anywhere if we don't try new things! ^^
    The eye of the storm, centre of the all rage;
    How come to thee, the endless die'd light...



    P.S. Yami Ryu, if you're reading this, I'd just like to tell you that you have the same birthday as The Queen! ;D

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    ^No, we'll never get anywhere if we don't try and succeed at new things. It's one thing to try writing with a naturally do-gooder and have them be "evil," but it's another to write them well as the part to allow readers to believe it could happen.

    Anyway, if you want to talk about this anymore with me specifically, feel free to PM/VM, though I'm only going to return here if anyone posts thoughts on my idea, because right now I need to write Chapter Fourteen of my fic.


    BA~~

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    @ Mrs. Lovett

    Hmm, this could actually be something interesting... Maybe.
    The thing I'm most concerned with is that yout beginning looks really slow! For how long do you think the Original Trainer Plot will hook people up until you get to the mystery part?
    You have to get to the point faster. Maybe starting with her already at Oreburgh?


    @ Buraddo_Aipom
    Wow, BOTH of his parents are so small-minded they will reject their 10-year-old (I'm assuming) son only because of the job choice he made? This strikes me as a little bit too radical...

    And why does the society think that being a breeder is a bad thing? You HAVE to make up a reason for that, otherwise it just looks like an excuse to add angst to your story. (Or is it just more of a girl thing? Like Ballet? Even so...)

    Gabe goes up to Elm after the commotion (while he's registering Kris and Soul) and says he needs to be registered as well.
    Oh, look, a random kid! Let's register him as well!
    Heh, actually, I didn't quite get what do you mean by "register". Registering them as official trainers? Is that it?

    a villianous group known as the Galactic Rockets (TR & TG disbanded a few years back, and suddenly reappeared as this new group)
    LOL OH NO YOU DIDN'T!
    Never fuse villainous teams. It doesn't work, because their original teams had totally different objectives to begin with. And "Galatic Rockets" sounds just silly.
    Why couldn't you just make a whole new organization? [Who's the new leader, by the way? Giovanni and Cyrus would NEVER work together. Unless they are both planning an epic double-cross! lol]

    And they'd better have some heck of a REASON for wanting Lugia and Ho-oh that badly.

    Ohw, And about that prepared secret organization? Why in hell would they want the help of KIDS who probably have some really under-leveled pokemon? Why would they go so far as to involve children in such matters? They should have some people better suited for the job. Weren't they kind of prepared?

    And Soul kind of disapeared in the middle of all that...

    err, anyway, that is my view on this idea you posted. (It came out quite long, huh)

  17. #217
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    Quote Originally Posted by lugia*master View Post
    ACtually, no, it's not that. Lance is actually part of the Team Rocket clan. You can hate me all you want, but he has a major part to play as a villain.
    Oh, dear; I was afraid of that. D= I know I said I prefer to keep my critique to reviews but I have to comment.

    Lance's character does, admittedly, change rather dramatically between anime/manga/game, but his most basic attributes remain the same: his love for pokemon, his proactiveness, and his pride in his power. Note the first, because that is, essentially, the one you're changing.

    In the Special manga, if you know it, he is actually a villain, so there is precedence for acts of evil; but even then, certain characteristics remain consistent. He's a villain only because he's lost sight of his moral standpoint: his ultimate goal is to destroy humanity and create a paradise for pokemon, which is the exact opposite of what Team Rocket values. So even as a villain, there is no way Lance would support the Rockets.

    I said before he has pride; this is true, but only to a certain point. In the Pokespecial manga he did harm and brainwash pokemon and justify it as being necessary, but it was never in pursuit of his own personal goals or to deliberately further his own power: it was for the sake of pokemon-kind as a whole. So while he can get lost in his goals and lose sight of the moral high ground, by having him pursue Team Rocket's goals you're essentially giving him a lust for power which overtakes his love for pokemon to the point where it's completely out of character, no matter which canon you're taking him from.

    As for the anime and game, well--BA essentially hit the nail on the head: he's known for deliberately fighting against Team Rocket. In the anime, it's stated outright that he's a G-Man who's been ordered to investigate. In the game, he doesn't even have precedence for being at the Lake of Rage to stop the Rockets; he just is--because he wants to be. All the other E/GLs I can think of (which admittedly excludes Sinnoh, as I haven't finished that game and aren't at that point in the anime/manga) all fight their respective evil teams only if they are threatened by them at the time: Lance is just about the only one who actively goes out in search of them (and even if there is someone in Sinnoh who does the same, that still leaves only one other person who does so).

    So while I'm not opposed to exploration of a character, unless you have some justification for him being part of Team Rocket which fits within the constraints of his character, there is no way it'll work. So I have a suggestion: I once saw a fanfic in which Lance was a member of Team Rocket, but it was because he was being blackmailed--not because he believed in them. Admittedly the details were quite thin and needed more beefing up to really work well, and the concept would be difficult to pull of merely because he is so powerful and cognizant of the threat Team Rocket presents, but if you could think up a way to pull something like that off--that he's helping them because he's being coerced somehow--I think it would invariably more interesting than merely making him the villain (and of course, you get all the perks of letting the rest of the E/GLs think he is a villain. >3 ) Such a scenario presents a bundle of new problems, but in general I think it's a better concept than just ... making him out of character.

    So ... yeah. Sorry about the long rant; favourite characters FTW. ^.^;;

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    Before they leave, Elm gets a phone call and turns on the TV to see that Brass Tower has been attacked by a villianous group known as the Galactic Rockets (TR & TG disbanded a few years back, and suddenly reappeared as this new group).
    [sighs] I hope that TG got a new boss for that, then, because in present-day canon their goals are the opposite of each other's.



    Okay. So I've been working out an idea for a story for a while now (a month, at the least). It is... Trainer Fic. (Feel free to toss bricks at me for attempting this. I will dodge them with great honor.) I don't write the most... serious stories on the planet, let it be known, so this is probably going to be taken with at least a sufficient dose of humor (and also, judging from what I've seen of most of your fic community, this won't be handled well, but whatever).

    This story starts off with a boy, named Casey, living in the region of Calda - a Pokémon-free region that people go to anyway for the tourism value. This boy, quite unlike some other protagonists, has no desire to be a Trainer whatsoever and is perfectly fine with living in a Pokémon-free region that's about as close to our own world as the Pokéverse can get. While waiting boredly for the bus to school one morning, he happens to notice something shiny under a bush (well, okay, as shiny as you can get when it's under a bush). It's only visible for a second, but Casey is so bored that he's literally staring right at it while waiting. Figuring someone dropped a coin, he gets to his knees and finds... a standard-issue Pokéball.

    It should be noted at this point that in an attempt to keep up the region's image the government in charge has banned all models of Pokéball and the creatures they were built to contain.

    Well, he spends a while staring at the Pokéball and wondering or not if he should take it while simultaneously ignoring a highly annoying buzzing sound. Finally he decides not to, gets to his feet again, and realizes he missed the bus before running after it. Time-skip to that night, where someone is throwing rocks at his window, he reacts in the usual way, and when Casey opens the window he gets clocked in the forehead with the Pokéball. This mysterious reappearance will be explained, fear not. But anyway, he grimaces at the Pokéball and, not knowing simple Pokéball mechanics, drops it under his bed on purpose before falling asleep.

    He wakes up to find a Rotom that had possessed its own Pokéball beaming at him. I have designed the Rotom already.

    One thing leads to another, and eventually he is shipped off on an airplane (funded by a... 'mysterious benefactor', shall we say) to the region of Sol (working name; I need a better one), against his will, in order to fulfill A Phione-Generated Prophecy of Utmost Importance and Dubious Legitimacy - Manaphy, the one who usually translates the prophecies, is on sick leave because he claims someone drugged his mystic vapors.

    ...You know the drill from there. Runs around collecting six Gym Badges (I didn't think eight would be suitable for a trainerfic-newbie like myself to handle), fights a villainous team almost everywhere, collects a band of guys - and a girl - to come along for their own various reasons... and a non-League-climax that, surprise surprise, doesn't involve the aforementioned Antagonistic Organization messing with some Legendary or another.
    Last edited by Giratina!; 26th July 2009 at 6:37 PM.


  19. #219
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mnemesis
    @ Buraddo_Aipom
    Wow, BOTH of his parents are so small-minded they will reject their 10-year-old (I'm assuming) son only because of the job choice he made? This strikes me as a little bit too radical...

    And why does the society think that being a breeder is a bad thing? You HAVE to make up a reason for that, otherwise it just looks like an excuse to add angst to your story. (Or is it just more of a girl thing? Like Ballet? Even so...)
    I never said he was fifteen, did I? Whoops... ><

    Like I said, they see it like most poeple in out world see being gay as "bad." It's almost like you said, how it's more of a girl thing - it's viewed as something that won't make you a strong trainer, because instead of training your Pokémon to be strong and powerful, you're making them learn special moves/Egg Moves and are only raising them to basically breed to "carry on" their abilities/traits.

    And I more meant they reject who he is, not physically saying "leave our house now you disgusting peice of filth." ><


    Quote Originally Posted by Mnemesis
    Oh, look, a random kid! Let's register him as well!
    Heh, actually, I didn't quite get what do you mean by "register". Registering them as official trainers? Is that it?
    Yeah, register them as trainers. I think that a Trainer Card is sort of like a person's liscense to be allowed to own/have Pokémon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mnemesis
    LOL OH NO YOU DIDN'T!
    Never fuse villainous teams. It doesn't work, because their original teams had totally different objectives to begin with.
    Personal opinion, actually :P The way I see it is that the leaders and commanders/admins are the ones who really have the objectives and such; the grunts are just there to follow orders (again, how I see it). What I did was have two people (married couple actually) take over each group when the leaders were arrested - either the husband/wife goes and gets the TR grunts to come back, and the other gets TG grunts, then they sort of get them do work together (remember, I see it as the grunts are just there to follow orders).

    And still, TR's "objectives" were to steal Pokémon, while TG's were to create a new world. I think it would've been smart for them (Giovanni and Cyrus) to join together if they had the chance.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mnemesis
    And "Galatic Rockets" sounds just silly.
    Again, just personal opinion; I had a Fic a while ago titled Kickin' It Johto!! - some people liked the title, others didn't.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mnemesis
    Why couldn't you just make a whole new organization?
    That's a bit cliché, just because of the fact that most people will make the organization just so that their Fic has an antagonist - though I did almost the same thing, I took two groups that are already out and about and made it into something most people don't try to write in a Fic.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mnemesis
    [Who's the new leader, by the way? Giovanni and Cyrus would NEVER work together. Unless they are both planning an epic double-cross! lol]
    Already answered that in this reply :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Mnemesis
    And they'd better have some heck of a REASON for wanting Lugia and Ho-oh that badly.
    Uh... what? The two are legendaries, that's not reason enough? Who wouldn't want to be in control of them. The basis of this new group is to control the world - I actually realized that this objective is very similar to something that could be produced from TR and TG's objectives; "stealing" Pokémon and then being able to be in charge of the world.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mnemesis
    Oh, and about that prepared secret organization? Why in hell would they want the help of KIDS who probably have some really under-leveled pokemon? Why would they go so far as to involve children in such matters? They should have some people better suited for the job. Weren't they kind of prepared?
    The organization is actually the Kimono Girls xP So they aren't really this big elaborate group that can ultimately "destroy" GR's plans, they're just ready to be able to handle situations with them (i. e. they have an elaborate process of getting to their "hidden" HQ - if you want to call a building in the Whirl Islands where they can hide and plan things an HG).

    Quote Originally Posted by Mnemesis
    And Soul kind of disapeared in the middle of all that...
    Well yeah, she's not a specific main character since she won't be a breeder and has other goals to achieve.


    BA~~

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    As for the anime and game, well--BA essentially hit the nail on the head: he's known for deliberately fighting against Team Rocket. In the anime, it's stated outright that he's a G-Man who's been ordered to investigate. In the game, he doesn't even have precedence for being at the Lake of Rage to stop the Rockets; he just is--because he wants to be. All the other E/GLs I can think of (which admittedly excludes Sinnoh, as I haven't finished that game and aren't at that point in the anime/manga) all fight their respective evil teams only if they are threatened by them at the time: Lance is just about the only one who actively goes out in search of them (and even if there is someone in Sinnoh who does the same, that still leaves only one other person who does so).
    FanFiction is exactly that@ Fiction. It does not have to mimic and copy the anime/ TV series, and can be re-adjusted to the writers will. I'm not going to reveal why he's being forced to work with team rocket, because I've given enough information already.
    The eye of the storm, centre of the all rage;
    How come to thee, the endless die'd light...



    P.S. Yami Ryu, if you're reading this, I'd just like to tell you that you have the same birthday as The Queen! ;D

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    Quote Originally Posted by lugia*master View Post
    FanFiction is exactly that@ Fiction. It does not have to mimic and copy the anime/ TV series, and can be re-adjusted to the writers will. I'm not going to reveal why he's being forced to work with team rocket, because I've given enough information already.
    Actually... yeah, it kind of does have to be the same character. It's like taking Harry Potter and throwing him into a Twilight-related world, saying he's a vampire because he's now Edward Cullen's new love intrest, and calling it a jim-dandy day.

    It doesn't work that way.

    You will lose readers especially purple_drake if you strip Lance of who he is and completely make him something else.


    BA~~

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    Well, if Lance is doing it and it's shown and explained that he's being blackmailed and he really, really loathes working with Team Rocket, then it might be justifiable. But if he's really enjoying it/doing it without complaint, and this isn't manga!Lance we're talking about, then that would be going against canon, which is a no-no in fanfiction (shipping fics don't apply, for whatever bizarre reason). So it more depends on how Lance reacts to it than the concept itself.


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    Quote Originally Posted by lugia*master View Post
    FanFiction is exactly that@ Fiction. It does not have to mimic and copy the anime/ TV series, and can be re-adjusted to the writers will. I'm not going to reveal why he's being forced to work with team rocket, because I've given enough information already.
    But even fiction is required to make internal sense, and fandom universes already have an established set of internal rules (which include the characterisation of existing characters); if they're not obeyed, then it isn't really fanfiction, is it?

    For the full argument on this topic, I refer you to this thread, particularly the posts from Negrek and Breezy, and here.

    In any case, initially you did not say that he was being forced: you merely said he was a member of Team Rocket, with the implication that it was his own choice. If he is being forced, then I never asked for the specific hows and whys; in fact I commented independently that it's the only plausible in-character way for him to be a member of Team Rocket at all, and if that is indeed the case, I would still read it (but always with a critical eye to the execution of his character). Even with that scenario, however, you will need to tread carefully.


    Quote Originally Posted by Giratina! View Post
    Well, if Lance is doing it and it's shown and explained that he's being blackmailed and he really, really loathes working with Team Rocket, then it might be justifiable. But if he's really enjoying it/doing it without complaint, and this isn't manga!Lance we're talking about, then that would be going against canon, which is a no-no in fanfiction (shipping fics don't apply, for whatever bizarre reason). So it more depends on how Lance reacts to it than the concept itself.
    Yeah, it's possible; in fact I find the concept of him being coerced into it fairly interesting--the problem is finding a believable way for them to do so.

    Even manga!Lance wouldn't ally with Team Rocket. He and Giovanni actually meet and have a short battle in canon, and you can just tell Lance completely disdains him. Manga!Lance is a villain, but he's a completely different brand of villain to Giovanni and Team Rocket as a whole.
    Last edited by purple_drake; 28th July 2009 at 5:18 AM.

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    Yeah, it's possible; in fact I find the concept of him being coerced into it fairly interesting--the problem is finding a believable way for them to do so.
    Believe me, I have a very believable way of getting it into the story. All hail Hyper-Blackmail!
    The eye of the storm, centre of the all rage;
    How come to thee, the endless die'd light...



    P.S. Yami Ryu, if you're reading this, I'd just like to tell you that you have the same birthday as The Queen! ;D

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    Do you think it's possible to write a good fanfic around Rangers? I'm thinking of a story, but I'm not sure if there is enough material on Rangers to construct a story around. For example, we all know how Trainers battle and catch Pok&#233;mon, but we know a lot less about how Rangers capture.

    It'll be set in either Sinnoh or a totally new region. It will also be in Dutch, since I don't think my English is good enough to tell a full story.
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