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Thread: The Ditto Disease [PG/PG-13]

  1. #1
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    Default The Ditto Disease [PG/PG-13]

    I have been writing Fan Fiction for as long as I can remember, though actually posting them is another story. "The Ditto Disease" is my first attempt at a Pokémon Fan Fiction, and I hope that I do not disappoint. It takes place in a world without humans, only Pokémon, and the setting is in a land battered by war between the north and south, though the south is broken into the east and west.

    Before I do anything else, I would like to give credit to Buraddo_Aipom for coming up with the idea for "The Ditto Disease." I do have permission to write a story based on his idea because I "adopted" it on the Fan Fic Idea Adoption board in the Writer's Café. I only hope that my readers will be as excited about the Fan Fic as I was when I first read the idea for it.

    Concerning Reviews: I would be thrilled if anyone reviewed my work. Taking into account that I am human, and thus flawed, I would be glad to receive any type of constructive criticism. And, if you do review my work, I sincerely thank you.

    Disclaimers: I do not own Pokémon, Nintendo does, though the characters in my story are original. I did not base them off of any existing live or made-up characters and any similarities are mere coincidences.

    And now, I present

    The Ditto Disease

    Prologue

    Shree
    Cobbleaste City, by the Eastern Sea


    Shree sprinted through the busy streets of Cobbleaste, taking advantage of her nimble figure to weave among the crowd as she hurried to her destination, all the while keeping sharp, alert, forever tensed and ready to defend herself if the need arose. Even though the Council had agreed to let some of those displaced by the war into her beloved City, Shree and many of those that had been born in and pledged their allegiance to Cobbleaste were still wary of the newcomers. Nothing good would come from so many outsiders being allowed to roam the streets of the great, ancient City freely.

    “Ah, if it isn’t Shree Sentret! Are you perhaps on your way to the hospital?”

    Abruptly, Shree stopped, and then rose onto her brown-striped tail to scan the area for the one who had called out to her. A moment later, she spied a familiar old Persian, then hopped to his side.

    “Hello, Mister Kele Sir! I most definitely am on my way to the hospital? Have you a message for me to deliver? I would do so gladly.”

    The old cat smiled, accenting a scar he had received along his chin in his younger days. “Not a message, but a package, my good girl.” Kele pawed at a small box at his feet. It was neatly wrapped in a large leaf and had pungent scent. A bit of string had been tied about it in a way that would make it easy for those Pokémon who ran on all four paws to carry in their mouths. “It’s for Naha Blissey. The one and only. Can I trust that you will take it straight to her and that no harm will come to it or you as you do so?”

    “Well---” Shree lowered her voice, leaning close to the Persian so that the Pokémon using the road on either side of them could not hear. “---with all of the outsiders in the City these days, nothing can be promised, but I will certainty do my best.”

    Kele Persian let out an amused purr. “That’s the spirit, young one! Until we meet again!”

    “Until we meet again!” Shree chimed in response before picking up the package in her mouth by the strings attached and beginning to run once more. She was close enough to the hospital that she could see it now. It was a great, stone building - the pride of Cobbleaste - built back when her fair City had been founded. Though warn with age, the hospital still demanded respect, for the Council made sure that it was kept clean, efficient, and that the gardens outside were always in bloom. The hospital was also one of the tallest buildings in the City, with seven floors, a pool in the basement for water-types, and nest on the roof for the birds.

    Shree bounded past the security guard standing by the southern entrance to the hospital gardens, one from the Arcanine family that knew her well, and then nudged her way into the main lobby. As expected, the room was overflowing with Pokémon - part of taking in war refugees meant taking in those wounded by the war - but Shree managed to make her way to the part of the floor where only hospital workers were allowed and from there easily hopped into the storeroom.

    “Might I find Naha Blissey about?” she queried to those within. A Wartortle and a Wurmple looked up from the medicine they had been sorting through, then at one another. Finally, the young Wurmple spoke.

    “Wouldn’t she be on the fifth floor, with the ones in long-term recovery?” he asked. “Of late, they have been trying to clear space up there, so anyone of the Chansey or Blissey family has been sent to heal those who can be.”

    “Ah, yes, I remember now,” Shree admitted, though this was the first she had heard of the development. One of the last things she wanted was for the hospital to be filled with outsiders. If all of the mats were given to those Pokémon, there would be none left for the ones native to Cobbleaste. “Ta!”

    The Sentret picked up her parcel once more and then hurried down the hallway to the employee stairwell, knowing that it was relatively unused in comparison with the larger common stairwell in the main lobby. She easily bounded up the old, worn stones to the fifth floor of the hospital, labeled in PokéScratch as ‘Long-Term Recovery,’ and then scurried into the supply room for that floor. To her disappointment, it was empty. After a moment’s hesitation, Shree moved to the job assignment board and searched for Naha Blissey’s name. She did not see it.

    “Madame Blissey, you are sure hard to find, whoever you are . . .” Shree muttered to herself.

    She turned about and headed back out into the hallway, little wrapped box in tow, and then took to scanning every hospital wing that she passed. When she came to the one where many fire-type Pokémon were kept, she spied a familiar large pink form hunched over a quivering young Vulpix. It took all of Shree’s self restraint to keep from gasping at the sight of the injured Pokémon. Those from her family typically had soft, glossy orange fur, brown feet, a white underbelly, and lovely elegant tails. But, this Vulpix was covered from tails to nose in black fur. As Shree inched closer, she realized that someone had actually burned the Vulpix. Shree was amazed; she had thought that fire-types were immune to fire-type attacks.

    “And yes, who are you?” asked the Blissey as Shree approached.

    The other Pokémon’s words forced Shree to snap out of her absentminded stupor. “Ah, I am Shree Sentret,” she mumbled through the strings of the box she was carrying. “And I was asked to give this to Naha Blissey. Might she be you?”

    Eyes widening, the Blissey reached out to take the box from Shree’s mouth with one of her small hands. “I am Naha,” she responded, little more than a whisper, as she hastily unwrapped the box before Shree and her patient. The little Vulpix was watching the whole ordeal through dazed eyes, every so often convulsing violently as if in great pain. Shree imagined that she was; she knew from experience that burns were very painful. Once, a Cyndaquil had accidentally burned her tail.

    Naha revealed the box to be made of wood once she finished removing the leaf and string from its exterior. Shree recognized it as a medicine carrier, and at once a felling of guilt and worry washed over her. If Kele had wanted medicine delivered, he should have done so directly, and anyone in the right would have. What exactly had she just transported, second-hand, to this Pokémon she had never met until just moments ago?

    Shree sat on her tail, hoping that with the extra height doing so provided she would better be able to see what was inside the medicine carrier she had just delivered, but Naha did not open it. Instead, the Blissey clutched it close to her body and then hurried across the hospital wing, calling across it as she went.

    “Would a Miltank kindly refresh the Vulpix on mat three? She needs liquids if she is to recover properly!”

    With that, Naha disappeared behind an archway typical to the architecture of the City into one of the back rooms, making a point to close the wooden doors behind her for privacy. Shree squeaked, disappointed. She really wanted to know what had been in the medicine carrier that she had just delivered.

    As a Miltank made her way to the mat that the burned Vulpix was sitting on, Shree was verbally forced from the room. That was just as well: She had been on her way to the hospital for a reason, and was now probably late to work. The young Sentret hurried to the second floor of the hospital, to the wing where the nursery was kept, and then nosed timidly into the room.

    Because of the war, there were a lot of orphaned baby Pokémon in the City, and many of them lived at the hospital until they were old enough to make it on their own. Shree had been volunteering at the hospital’s nursery for as long as she could remember, coaching the youngest Pokémon in Cobbleaste in the most basic of attacks and telling them stories about the City and the world beyond.

    “It’s Shree!”

    “Shree!”

    “Whee, Shree!”

    The Sentret had to move quickly in order to avoid being bowled over by Ada Oddish, Timi Zigzagoon, and Rheza Togepi. She used her tail to bounce herself over the trio of Pokémon, and then landed atop one of the wooden play structures in the middle of the room. As Shree had twirled through the air, all of the babies in the room had locked their eyes upon her, and when she had landed they had cheered. Shree crossed her arms over her chest and then grinned at her favorite crowd.

    “Sup, y’all?”

    “Shree Sentret! You are late!”

    Flattening her ears, Shree turned to see Ekaterina Kangaskhan standing in the archway leading to one of the back rooms, holding a large wooden crate of something that was probably weighted at least twice as much as the Sentret did. Hastily, Shree began a series of awkward, apologetic bows in Ekaterina’s direction.

    “So sorry, Ma’am! I was sent on an errand while on my way here, and I couldn’t say no to the old cat now could I?” As Shree spoke, a sickening feeling surged through her. Perhaps it would have been better had she said no to Kele Persian earlier? Only the legendary ones had any idea what sort of substance she had transported, and whether that substance was illicit or not.

    Ekaterina seemed to sigh. “Alright, then. Will you escort the babies to the northern garden, then? It is a nice day, and sometimes it is good to just sit in the sun on days like these.”

    “Of course, Ma’am!” Shree said, saluting the Kangaskhan before turning back to the onlooking crowd. Many of the baby Pokémon before her were still giggling. Their favorite caretaker being scolded by Ekaterina, the head of the hospital’s nursery, was apparently very amusing. “Alright, men, we are marching! Rheza, head the line! Single file, march on two, and we depart!”

    Shree bounded off the play structure and marveled at how quickly the baby Pokémon scrambled to obey her command. Within seconds, all fifteen of them had formed a single-file line behind Rheza Togepi, and were eagerly awaiting her count.

    “On two, and we are heading to the northern garden to sunbathe! Ready, set, one and TWO!”

    Rheza began to march, and in unison the other baby Pokémon did as well. Shree latched onto the end of the line, happily trotting after Ada and the others. She did have to direct Rheza through the layout of the hospital several times, though the group did safely make it to northern garden in record marching time. Shree moved her charges to a particularly sunny patch of grass, reminded them to stay within her sights, and then told them to scatter and play. She sat on her tail, giving herself a better view of the beautiful azalea-outlined garden, and then sighed.

    Something as simple as an unknown package should not be bothering her nearly as much as it was. Shree trusted Kele Persian, and had known the old cat her entire life, though she did admit that he had some odd quirks to his name. He would not be participating in any sort of unfavorable activities, would he?

    Shree barely registered the sound of the breaking window, though instantly reacted to the sound of the screaming baby Pokémon surrounding her. Using her Hyper Voice attack, she called them all back to her side, despite the noise of dogs barking and sirens from the hospital, and then took a quick head count. All fifteen of the baby Pokémon were counted for. A weight lifted from her chest.

    “Timi, you are in charge,” Shree told the Zigzagoon amongst them. He was the oldest. “I’m going to go and see what’s happening. I want all of you to hide in the bushes over there until I get back, understand?”

    Without waiting for a response, Shree bounded back toward the hospital, eyes fixed on the broken window. It was on the fifth floor. Pokémon must have been fighting. That was illegal on hospital grounds, save for with any structured lessons given to baby or rehabilitating Pokémon. Shree bit her tongue as rage built within her. This tragedy must have been the work of outsiders! She had known that no good would come from allowing them into the City!

    All of a sudden, a dark figure leapt through the shattered window. Shree’s eyes widened in shock as she saw the burned Vulpix fly through the air for a moment before glowing and transforming into a Pidgeotto. The Pidgeotto retained the burns from its old form, but despite them was able to catch itself, hover effortlessly in midair, and then spiral skyward.

    “Was the burned Vulpix really a Ditto?” Shree asked herself, standing on her tail and squinting her eyes for a better look at the departing creature. “I suppose that makes sense - if she had tangled with fire in a different form, then she would definitely have been burnable . . .”

    From the hospital’s roof, Shree saw several more Pidgeotto take to the sky, and by the bands they wore on their feet she could tell that they were part of Cobbleaste’s military unit. Comforted by the fact that the troublesome Ditto would be detained soon, Shree turned around and began to head back to the baby Pokémon she had left beneath a garden of azalea bushes. Their sunbath had ended.

    I claimed Flareon in the V4 Thread


    Amidst a war between two fractions of Pokémon, a mysterious disease begins to strike, and those infected find themselves either as the newest weapons of battle or as outcasts . . .

    The Ditto Disease:

    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=393392

    Chapter Three is now posted.

  2. #2
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    Hey LEN.

    Very nicely done, especially for your first Pokémon Fan Fiction. I'm really glad you adopted my idea, as it turned out wonderfully in your hands. There are things that coul be worked on and fixed, but other than that you definately have a great start here.

    So, in the beginning: not that bad, but it wasn't great either. You could've added some description and a bit more interaction between characters to improve it. The Persian (I forget his/her name) dialogue with Shree could've been more relaxed too - instead of having the Persian immediately ask if she was going to the hospital, it could've asked where she was going. I doubt that makes sense, but something like this:

    “Ah, if it isn’t Shree Sentret!”

    Abruptly, Shree stopped, and then rose onto her brown-striped tail to scan the area for the one who had called out to her. A moment later, she spied a familiar old Persian, soon hopping to his side.

    “Hello, Mister Kele Sir, how are you?" she asked politely, trying to respect the elder in front of her.

    "Ah, I am fine, thank you for asking. You wouldn't happen to be going to the hospital, would you?" Kele Persian narrowed his black eyes at the Sentret, waiting for her answer.

    "I most definitely am on my way to the hospital, what's the matter?"

    "I need you to deliver something for me if you don't mind. I see you pass by here everyday and have heard you help out there a lot. My old legs are wearily turning to goo-" Kele chuckled at his joke "-and I'm too old to be running to the hospital every so often."
    Do you see what I did? I made some more dialogue so they seem like they're more of friends than complete strangers. Plus, now you've given some background to the readers as to why Kele chose Shree to ask instead of some other Pokémon.

    And like I said before, add some more description. You are okay as of now, and you've left a good amount of room for improvement.

    Before I forget, I want to say that I love the character's names. They are really creative and I like the structure of them (ex Shree Sentret).

    Anways, I don't have time to finish reviewing right now, so I'll finish later :P Oh I saw that you said you'd post Chapter One tomorrow - a word of advice: don't. Wait until the weekend's over so you give readers some time to respond ;)

    //BA\\
    Last edited by Walcott; 7th May 2009 at 2:08 AM.

  3. #3
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    good job!!!!! shree is so cute!!! the title gives away whats happening to the vulpix though!
    its ver creative altogether. i would have liked more excitment or suspense so.... make the next chapter really good and make the reader ask more questions like what the persain's intentions were with the box. I can't wait for the next chapter!
    Last edited by rainbowralts; 9th May 2009 at 1:32 AM.

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    Thank you both for the reviews!

    Buraddo_Aipom, thank you for alerting me to the fact that I did not do that good of a job with my descriptions. I plan to edit in a few before posting the first chapter. And thank you for the comment on the names. In Shree's world, their last name is whatever Pokémon they are.

    rainbowralts, your name sent me into shock, and you will figure out why once I post the next chapter. As for what is really happening with the Vulpix, let me tell you that first impressions are deceiving . . .

    Once again, thank you for the reviews. I will probably have the first chapter up sometime after the weekend is over.

    I claimed Flareon in the V4 Thread


    Amidst a war between two fractions of Pokémon, a mysterious disease begins to strike, and those infected find themselves either as the newest weapons of battle or as outcasts . . .

    The Ditto Disease:

    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=393392

    Chapter Three is now posted.

  5. #5
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    I loved it. A lot. I love the ideas of a war. I love your writing, too.

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    Very good. I would like to see the rest. One thing though, I feel the description on the babies is a bit vague, just says there names and moves on. For me they seem to play some part in the story. Good job, needs more info on the war.
    Current goal: Completing Unova pokedex!

  7. #7
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    Thank you so much for the reviews! Bulbabuddy and SuperWeb606, I am glad that you highlighted the war in your posts, because it has a very large role in the story. As for under-developing the baby Pokémon, I did that sort of on purpose, because the nursery has no further impact on the plotline, that I know of as of this moment. Hmm . . . maybe that was a little spoiler?

    Anyway, the first chapter is ready now. I hope that I did a better job on my descriptions this time. As always, reviews are welcome!

    Chapter One

    Jin
    Ethereal Village, west of the Sky Mountains


    Jin woke to the sound of whispers. He climbed from the tattered grass mat that served as his bed and then moved to the edge of the room. His modest home was little more than a well-fortified dirt tunnel, one among many beneath the tangle of enormous oak trees that were collectively known as the Ethereal Village. Jin moved to the entrance of his home, decorated by a sparse arrangement of ever-blooming flowers and exotic stones, and then looked around the starlit forest. Despite the fact that the Ralts’s shiny blue cap covered his eyes, he could see quite clearly, and knew at once that the whispers that had woken him were coming from the plaza a few paces away. A large crowd, perhaps every single Pokémon to call the Ethereal Village their home, was clustered at the base of the plaza tree, signifying that a meeting was being held. Jin teleported to the edge of the gathering place, and then wedged his way past a troop of Clefairy and Clefable so that he could better see the speaker that so many had come to listen to.

    A Typhlosion was standing at the base of the plaza tree, atop a tangle of thick roots that allowed him to be a level higher than the rest of the Pokémon in the plaza, and beside him was the leader of the Ethereal Village, Jin’s grandmother, June Gardevoir. Jin could tell that his grandmother was worried, for the emotions he received from her were almost painful. To a more sensitive soul, they would have been.

    “I thank you for waking at this odd hour to hear what I have come to say,” the Typhlosion began. Jin was pleased; he appeared to have arrived at the plaza just in time to hear the entire meeting. “But I bring terrible news from the east.”

    “Was the war lost? Have the northerners defeated you?” called out a large male Vileplume from somewhere behind Jin.

    The Typhlosion shook his head, and flashes of flame around his neck began to reveal his impatience. “No, the war wages as strongly as ever. The northern armies have forced their way past the Great Bay. But rest assured, the west is safe because of the Sky Mountains. If I, Azhel Typhlosion, had trouble on my journey, then it would be suicidal for the northern armies to even attempt passage through the forbidding terrain.”

    Jin cocked his head, trying to remember whether or not the speaker, Azhel Typhlosion, had ever been to his Village before. It was not often that an outsider made it to the Ethereal Village, for the forest surrounding it was thick with vegetation, and many wild Pokémon that did not take kindly to foreigners lived amongst the gigantic, old trees. However, Jin had a nagging feeling that he had seen this particular Typhlosion before, though could not remember when or why the fire Pokémon would have previously come to his Village.

    “My friends, I did not come to speak of the war. I came to tell of a much more pressing matter, one that will have a larger impact on the world than that little misunderstanding with the north will. I come to warn you of a dangerous infection that has been sweeping the region, though its victims are few and far between. Nobody knows how it is spread, or why some Pokémon catch it as opposed to others, but we do know that it is dangerous---”

    “What does this infection do? What is it called?” asked a timid young Eevee from a few paces to Jin’s left. He rolled his eyes. Nearly anything could send Kneka into hysterics. It was an embarrassment for him to have to attend the same lessons as the scatterbrained, whiney whimp of a Pokémon.

    From beside Kneka Eevee, her father, Shade Leafeon, nuzzled her affectionately. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m sure that you don’t have this infection, whatever it is,” he assured her.

    “The infection is known as the Ditto DNA Virus, or DDV,” the Typhlosion declared, speaking over the concerned parent. “And those who become prey to the disease acquire the ability to transform into other Pokémon at will, just like that of a Ditto.”

    At once, the entire crowd silenced, any previous whisper fading into the night. None of the Pokémon in the plaza could do anything aside from marvel at what the Typhlosion had just told them. Jin felt a wave of confusion and fear from those around him, and the mixture of feverish emotions made him feel sick. The ability to transform was reserved for Ditto family and the legendary Mew family. It was unheard of, and thus unbelievable, for any other Pokémon to be able to do so.

    “The problem with this mysterious outbreak is that the infected Pokémon have begun committing unspeakable crimes,” Azhel announced, having paused just long enough for his previous statement to sink into the crowd. “Yet, unlike Ditto, these Pokémon do not have to return to their original forms when ill, thus they are very difficult to locate. But---” the Typhlosion paused, and his red eyes gleamed. Jin could read foul, impure emotions from his heart. “---The Council of Cobbleaste, among many of the eastern governing parties, has come to a general consensus. If allowed to roam free, it is predicted that these infected Pokémon, or DDVs, will likely resort to illegal activities with their newfound powers. However---” Azhel paused again, and Jin could tell that he had finally reached the climax of his speech, and was about to reveal the true reason for his visit. “---if these Pokémon were to step forward, identify themselves, and agree to work for the southern armies, then we believe that they might just be the very thing that we need to turn the tide of war in our favor. If the south could find and train enough DDVs, then it could possibly even rule the world.”

    At once, Jin remembered why the Typhlosion seemed so familiar to him. Azhel was on the governing Council in the great eastern City of Cobbleaste, and had been the one to journey to his Village several years ago at the start of the persisting war. Many able-bodied Pokémon had left the Ethereal Village with him to fight, swallowing up the lies he had spat about the terrible northern armies, and all were yet to return, if they ever would. The blue Ralts narrowed his eyes at the Typhlosion; he was somewhat glad that nobody could see him do so. Jin could remember despising the power-hungry Pokémon several years ago, and the familiar rage returned with his realization.

    “Well---” June had stepped forward now, and was doing her best to appear dignified as she addressed the crowd before her and the Typhlosion. “We all thank Azhel Typhlosion for coming all this way to inform us about this startling new disease, and will keep alert for any mysterious Pokémon. Now, Azhel, if you will---”

    “June,” interrupted the Typhlosion. “Can I have your word that, if any of your Pokémon catch the DDV, that you will send them to Cobbleaste right away so that they can be trained for war. You know full well that the northerners, once they have the east, will turn upon the west; that is the reason why you entered into our Peace Alliance in the first place.”

    “I know,” lied June. Jin was somewhat startled with how easily his grandmother was able to say one thing, projecting herself as if she meant it, even though her emotions hinted that she thought the complete opposite. “And I will be sure to do as you ask, if it means the safety of my Village. Everyone - this meeting is over! Return to your homes! Your beds! We must allow Azhel to continue on his way to the other western villages!”

    Upon their leader’s command, members of the crowd began to scatter in the direction of their houses, those with wings flying off to the wooden sky nests and all others ambling in the direction of their personal tunnels. Jin lingered for a moment, curiously watching his grandmother and reading the uneasy emotions flowing from her, before teleporting back to his mat. It was still the middle of the night, thus he wanted to sleep. Besides, he could not have cared less about the problems of Pokémon he did not even care about.

    Ivivi
    Sommerwoods, between the Sky Mountains and the eastern Sea


    “Stop, thief!”

    Ivivi ignored the call, tightening her grip on the edges of the cloth that she had stolen. There were enough berries wrapped within it to feed her and her little brother for two meals. She was not about to return it.

    She kept to the woodland path, a dusty road that had been worn with usage and time, counting her paces past the young trees and oversized ferns as she bounded toward the place where she and Kleon had spent the night. Though she was fairly sure that nobody would bother to pursue her for robbing a tiny trading post manned by a band of traveling merchants, she still would have to prepare to defend herself from any lone travelers that she came across, for many of them would sooner skin her than allow themselves to be seen. The Sommerwoods was a very popular place for loners to roam, many with questionable pasts, for it was large, though not too overgrown, and provided many exceptional hiding places.

    At last, Ivivi made it to the large, fallen log that she had told Kleon to wait inside earlier that morning after announcing that she would leave to search for some food. She crawled inside, praising Glameow for having such lithe bodies, and set the cloth wrap of berries on the ground, watching as a few of them rolled out of the pile. Then Ivivi let out a growl, cursing herself for not realizing the obvious sooner: Kleon had left!

    “That stupid, stupid boy . . .” the Glameow muttered. “He’s probably trying to be caught. Probably will wander right into an Arcanine’s path and begin bragging about how cool it is that he knows how to transform into other Pokémon now. Kleon . . .”

    Backing out of the hollow log, Ivivi scanned her surroundings. Without warning, a Thunderbolt hit the fern beside her, charring one of its fanlike leaves. Whirling about, she spied another, smaller Glameow, mewing giddily with amusement for having startled his older sister. He then proceeded to play with the curl that was his long, gray tail.

    “Look, isn’t this awesome? I don’t have a tail in real life!”

    Ivivi flinched at her brother’s choice of words. “You do too have a tail; it’s just not nearly as long as that. Now, I found us some berries. Let’s go inside the log and eat them, alright?”

    “Sure, okay!” Kleon mewed, streaking past Ivivi and barreling headfirst into the rotting log.

    Before following him, Ivivi looked around the forest. Sommerwoods was a quiet place. It had been her home, and Kleon’s, for a couple of weeks now, but it would be unwise for them to stay in the area much longer. Over the past few days, there had been too many times when Ivivi’s and Kleon’s darkest secret had almost been revealed, or when one of the two had almost lost their lives. Unfortunately, Ivivi had no idea where she and Kleon could hide after they left the woods. She sighed, and then crawled into the log to join her brother for breakfast.

    Jin
    Ethereal Village, west of the Sky Mountains


    Jin hated when he was forced to attend lessons held by some of the older Pokémon in his Village. The lessons bored him. The other young Pokémon had nothing to do with him, and he had nothing to do with them, seeing as he would have been embarrassed to admit even knowing the names of any of them anyway. Jin had proved time and time again that he was capable of taking care if himself in battle, that he was the most advanced young Pokémon in the Ethereal Village, and yet June continued to insist that he at least watch the mock battles that were staged between the youngsters.

    That day’s instructor, an old Venomoth, had started her lesson with a display of attacks, explaining the strengths and weaknesses of each and how they could be implemented. Jin had been thoroughly bored, as usual, until Chen had announced that she would take on any one of the youngsters that dared to do so in a battle. Before the Venomoth had finished speaking, Jin had teleported to her side.

    “I shall win,” mused Chen, signaling to the remaining Pokémon in the training clearing, a location to the edge of the Ethereal Village, to form a circle around her and her eager opponent. “Now, make sure to announce your attacks before implementing them for the benefit of the onlookers. Are you ready, Jin Ralts?” she asked, having had flown away to the opposite side of the clearing while speaking.

    Jin nodded.

    “Then, we shall begin on your move.”

    The Ralts smiled. “Teleport.”

    Jin teleported directly beneath Chen then glanced up at her, hovering some four feet above him. “Hypnosis!” he announced, already having begun the sleep-inducing attack.

    Chen laughed. “It won’t be that easy, little one. Stun Spore!”

    Panic gripped Jin as he realized that he had just made a very stupid move: He had moved himself into the perfect position for his opponent’s attack! “Teleport!” he gasped as he teleported across the field again. Upon reappearing, he shivered. A bit of Chen’s attack had managed to glaze his cap. From that point forward, he would start moving slower and slower until his foe’s paralysis took hold.

    “Confusion!” Jin shouted, aiming at Chen. The psychic blast flew from him, but Chen easily avoided it, laughing as she did so.

    “Bug Buzz!” she announced before emitting a horrible noise. Jin flinched as it pierced his very spirit. He brought his hands to his ears and tried to cover them. As he felt his energy slip away, he resolved to use what little he had left on one final, dangerous barrage.

    “Future Sight!”

    The vicinity pulsated, and the mixture of Cleffa, Venonat, Oddish, Eevee, Shroomish, Buneary, Weedle, and Caterpie onlooking the battle began to chatter excitedly. Seeing this, Chen’s eyes briefly gave away a momentary flicker of worry. She knew Jin’s battle technique just as well as he did, and could probably guess his next move.

    “Lucky Chant!”

    Jin began to chant softly to himself, and as he did so he felt a great power surge within him. All around him, the forest began to tremble, and a great roar surrounded the training clearing. The blue Ralts could feel the intensified energy of the impending Future Sight attack.

    It would come soon . . .

    When it did, he would win the battle . . .


    And then, without warning, the clearing vanished. Jin looked worriedly around the new environment: He recognized his new location as one of the largest sky nests built high in one of the towering trees that made up the dense forest. Seconds later, a deafening sound reached his ears, and Jin saw a dozen trees split and crumble around an empty clearing in the distance. With a jolt, he realized that he was witnessing the effects of his own Future Sight attack.

    “What have I told you about using that combination in battle?”

    Jin did not have to look his grandmother in the face to tell that she was fuming with anger. Slowly, he turned to face her, knowing it was rude to do otherwise, and caught sight of the rest of the Pokémon that had been in the clearing with him moments ago. Though obviously shaken, all were unharmed. Had June waited another moment to teleport the group from the clearing, however, every single one of them would have been caught in the blast of Jin’s attack. Waves of fear were being emitted from these Pokémon. All had known that Jin was strong, but not many had known just how so until moments ago. Kneka, the whiny Eevee, was beginning to cry at the prospect of so narrowly having escaped certain terrible injury.

    “I didn’t realize that I had grown powerful enough to destroy the entire clearing,” Jin admitted to his grandmother. She was now hovering ahead of him, inches above the wooden floor of the sky nest. Upon hearing his response, the Gardevoir’s rage intensified. She briefly turned away from Jin to address the other Pokémon she had teleported to the wooden castle.

    “I wish to speak with my grandson in private, if you don’t mind. I shall teleport each of you to the base of the tree now, except for Kneka Eevee. Kneka, you seem to be particularly moved by Jin’s carelessness, and I wish to remedy that before dismissing you.”

    Jin watched as all of the other Pokémon from his class, save for one, vanished from the sky nest upon June’s command. Kneka Eevee was left shivering alone by one of the railings. Jin groaned softly at the sight; he absolutely despised Kneka – his personality clashed with her own in every possible way! It would be the ultimate punishment for him to have to apologize to her for what he had did to the training clearing. That was probably the reason June had left her in the sky nest.

    June beckoned Kneka to Jin’s side, and the timid Eevee obeyed, her shaky steps betraying her fear and uneasiness. Hesitantly, she sat down beside the blue Ralts and then concentrated her gaze on the leader of her Village.

    “Jin . . .” June began, turning back to him as she spoke. “Now that the others are gone, I would like to thank you for providing an excuse for me to speak with you and Kneka in private.”

    Stiffening, Jin felt the emotions being emitted from his grandmother change instantly. She was no longer angry; instead she was relieved, ashamed, even terrified. Her strong emotions were beginning to trouble him, and he unconsciously shivered.

    “In exactly two days time, Kneka will begin to display symptoms identical to those of the Ditto DNA Virus that Azhel told us about last night. If she does so within the boundary of the Village, I will be obligated to send her east to participate in the war because of the Peace Alliance our Village has made with the City of Cobbleaste. However, I would not be able to live with myself if I did such a thing, which is why I am asking you and Kneka to flee the Village. Both of you must leave the forest and shelter in the Sky Mountains. Though it is a dangerous place for two such young Pokémon, I feel that you are powerful enough to protect the both yourself and---“

    “Wait,” interrupted Jin, in a state of disbelief. “Why do I have to be the one to escort the baby?”

    “I’m not a baby,” Kneka retorted, in a defensive tone that was particularly out of character for her.

    June pursed her lips, and her nervous emotions intensified. That alone was enough to silence Jin. His grandmother had chosen him, as opposed to an older, more experienced Pokémon, to escort Kneka from the Ethereal Village for a reason. The Ralts knew full well that the Gardevoir family had the ability to see the future. If she was predicting that Kneka would begin to show symptoms of the Ditto DNA Virus, then the reason he would also be required to leave the forest was because . . .

    “You have to be the one to go, Jin,” began June softly. “Because you, too, will eventually become infected with the DDV as well.”

    I claimed Flareon in the V4 Thread


    Amidst a war between two fractions of Pokémon, a mysterious disease begins to strike, and those infected find themselves either as the newest weapons of battle or as outcasts . . .

    The Ditto Disease:

    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=393392

    Chapter Three is now posted.

  8. #8
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    This isn't a rule, per se, but pokemon named shouldn't really be capitalized, as they aren't proper nouns... you say 'cat,' so it follows that you would say 'persian.'

    I most definitely am on my way to the hospital?
    Should this be a question mark?

    Though warn with age
    Worn, not warn.

    “Ah, yes, I remember now,” Shree admitted, though this was the first she had heard of the development.
    'Admitted,' is not the right word here, especially considering Shree didn't have anything to admit; she didn't know. Don't be afraid of 'said.' It exists for a reason.

    she spied a familiar large pink form hunched over a quivering young Vulpix.
    Wait, didn't she not know the pokemon? How would it have been familiar?

    If Kele had wanted medicine delivered, he should have done so directly, and anyone in the right would have.
    I'm not sure what the last part of that sentence is supposed to mean.

    Using her Hyper Voice attack
    I don't really think attacks should be uppercase either, but if you are, denoting it as an attack is kind of redundant, IMO.

    ---

    I actually quite enjoyed this. I didn't pick up any grammatical troubles, and it all flowed very nicely.

    It kind of read like a children's book, but not in a bad way at all. There was a sense that Shree's point of view was rather naïve, and as such the things she did and the way she reacted were very straightforward. Maybe I'm giving you too much credit xD I'd be very impressed if the narrative style shifted with the perspective.

    Anyway, I'll actually probably read more of this. Not too bad.

    reviewing rowling
    because harry potter sucks

    livejournal facebook fanfiction

    'Don't be so modest, you're not that great.'

  9. #9
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    Sir Growlie and Act, thank you for the in-depth reviews of my Fan Fiction.

    Act, I am guilty of the first two punctuation errors that you mentioned in your post. To all of my readers, I'm sorry.

    You also brought up how strange it was that Shree considered the form of Naha familiar, even though she had never met her before. I meant that she considered the Pokémon Blissey familiar, not the individual. I guess that I should be a bit more specific in later chapters.

    As for capitalizing Pokémon names and attacks: Doing so is a habit I picked up from the games. I've gotten to the point where I need to see them capitalized otherwise I consider them incorrect.

    Sir Growlie, thank you for the wonderful praise on the introduction to my prologue, and for the note on what I should improve. Also, don't sweat about being unable to review. We all have and (hopefully) understand parents.

    I have been working on Chapter Two, and will probably post it within the week. However, I am faintly curious to see what my readers think of the characters introduced in Chapter One. Of yet, nobody has commented on them.

    I claimed Flareon in the V4 Thread


    Amidst a war between two fractions of Pokémon, a mysterious disease begins to strike, and those infected find themselves either as the newest weapons of battle or as outcasts . . .

    The Ditto Disease:

    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=393392

    Chapter Three is now posted.

  10. #10
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    Wow, sorry this reply took so long. I've been quite busy.

    But this second chapter blew me away. I thought you were going to be a poor writer to be honest, but you proved me wrong. The introductions to these two Pokémon were excellent, and teh onyl thing I found bad was the lack of detail in the scene with Ivivi and her brother - is her brother a Glameow too, or had he jsut transformed into one after being infected?

    And Jin is an interesting character. I don't mind that he is shiny, but keep in mind it could turn off some readers sicne the chances of shinies are very low. Very very low. But you did a great job explaining the DDV thing with Azhel, as well as the battle with Chen Venomoth. I like your idea of having them call out the attacks they're going to use, just like a trainer would.

    The part with June telling Jin to travel with Kneka was a tiny bit cliché and expected, but also unexpected in the fact that the Eevee came off (to me at least) as a very minor character. Nice job with that.

    And the plot twist about Jin and Kneka both having the disease was really interesting.

    All in all, great job and you have me excited for the next chapter :)


    BA~~

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buraddo_Aipom View Post
    is her brother a Glameow too, or had he jsut transformed into one after being infected?
    “Look, isn’t this awesome? I don’t have a tail in real life!”
    The brother said that, by the way.

    And Jin is an interesting character. I don't mind that he is shiny, but keep in mind it could turn off some readers sicne the chances of shinies are very low. Very very low.
    I suspect it might end up being part of the plot, so that if Jin tries to transform, everyone will know that it's him because they will see that he is shiny. But I'm not sure as I don't know if that's how Transform works in the game.

    I'd critique this story, but I'm not good at that and all I can say is that I enjoyed it and would like to read more, even though I had to reread the prologue a few times to understand it.
    Last edited by oRaNgE~1337; 18th May 2009 at 5:52 AM.

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    Wow, I think I'm goin to enjoy where this is going
    After the Prologue, I was a little worried, perhaps it was the supposed naivity mentioned above, But after chapter one I can see some promise. The name structure is very nice, and Jin seems like an interesting, complex character. I'm a little upset that Burrado Aipom felt a need to bring up the fact he is Shiny. I hope it doesn't prove to much a issue for you.
    Truth is fequently inaccurate. Colliepop is definitive.
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  13. #13
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    Thank you for the reviews and comments Buraddo_Aipom, oRaNgE~1337, and Colliepop.

    In this post I'll drop a spoiler regarding a concern raised in your posts.

        Spoiler:- Addressing the issue of Jin being a shiny: I know that the chances of one appearing are low, but it does affect the plot line of the story.:


    I also realize that I may, especially in the next few chapters, give the Ralts too much credit by way of his strength. But, him being powerful is also part of the plot line . . .

    Also, I have completed chapter two and will probably post it tomorrow or Friday. I hope that you all seem to like it as much as you liked the first.
    Last edited by LavenderEyedNinetales; 21st May 2009 at 1:09 AM.

    I claimed Flareon in the V4 Thread


    Amidst a war between two fractions of Pokémon, a mysterious disease begins to strike, and those infected find themselves either as the newest weapons of battle or as outcasts . . .

    The Ditto Disease:

    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=393392

    Chapter Three is now posted.

  14. #14
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    Default Chapter Two

    No more comments? Well, Chapter Two is ready. I hope everyone likes it. As always, reviews are welcome!

    Chapter Two

    Rhecceh
    The Sky Mountains


    The Sky Mountains were a forbidding place, solely responsible for the fact that the southern region was parted into two distinct halves. Treacherous rocky crags and impassable twisted ledge-turned-pathways only rarely gave way to flat plateaus, and in these isolated places flourished the only traces of vegetation in the range. More frequently than one would expect, great rivers flowing from unknown, unfrequented sources in the ice-covered peaks marred the horizons, often cascading down the sides of steep cliffs and pooling in small lakes below. And if one was not intimidated by the Sky Mountains themselves, the Pokémon that lived there were often enough to discourage travelers. The vicinity was home to a vast assortment of rock, ground, steel, dark, and ghost type Pokémon who were rumored to live in family clans and be fiercely territorial over the lands that they considered their own.

    Over the years, Rhecceh had acquired a sizable fraction of one of the largest mountains in the range, and he was quite proud of his territory. Of course, those of the Skarmory family did not bother with Pokémon of the land, and Rhecceh had been duly tolerant of the Nidoking and Nidoqueen that had chosen to live in one of the caves toward the edge of his territory. He spent his days spiraling the skies, circling the peak of his mountain and various others if he felt daring enough to do so. Another Skarmory claimed the skies of the mountain directly south of his own - one Rhecceh had been clashing with for as long as he could remember in hopes of expanding his territory. For as long as he could remember, the two had been evenly matched.

    But, tonight that would change. Tonight, Rhecceh would expand his territory, and the other Skarmory would beg for his mercy.

    Rhecceh took to the skies at dusk, first circling his own territory and briefly watching the Nidoking mingle with his family before streaking south. Lately, he had noticed that two of the Nidoking's young had vanished: a male and a female. Rhecceh had devoted more time than an uninvolved observer should have to searching for them. The only thing out of the ordinary that he had noticed on the day that the Nidoqueen had gone into hysterics was a pair of particularly awkward Rhyhorn ambling eastward.

    By the time the night had been lit by stars, Rhecceh had reached his destination. He proceeded to antagonize his future opponent by flying around his nest, a particularly messy and disgraceful assortment of dead grasses and twigs, and shrieking at the top of his lungs. Though the other Skarmory was nowhere near his nest at the moment, Rhecceh knew that he would encounter the other Pokémon eventually if he continued to linger around the center of his territory.

    “Zehfur!” Rhecceh cried, his echo ricocheting the other Skarmory’s name through the canyons and cliffs. “Tonight, one of us will gain territory, and one will lose territory! Show yourself and fight me!”

    A streak of silver, and Rhecceh felt his left wing sting terribly as he saw his opponent fly past him. Zehfur had arrived, and the larger Skarmory was already arching through the air in preparation for his next attack. Pleased, Rhecceh spiraled down to Zehfur’s nest, landed, and then calmly turned about to face his approaching opponent.

    “You stand there immobilized?” shouted Zehfur. “And make it easy for me to strike you? You are not fit to keep territory! My Steel Wing will destroy you!”

    Rhecceh narrowed his eyes at Zehfur as the other bird Pokémon locked onto his position and began his descent through the air. Within seconds, the battle would be decided. Zehfur would not know what had hit him.

    Zehfur’s wings began to glow with a white light. Rhecceh’s entire form glowed white as well, rapidly changing, and then was replaced a moment later with the form of one from the Typhlosion family. The moment before Zehfur was to strike Rhecceh with his attack, he unleashed a powerful Fire Blast, completely engulfing the other Pokémon. Zehfur gagged, disbelief coloring his face and his eyes popping in agony. When Rhecceh felt that the battle had been won, he stopped his attack, and watched as the defeated Skarmory fell limply through the air and crashed into the rocks some forty feet below.

    Rhecceh transformed back into a Skarmory before speaking. “You are to be gone from my territory before sunrise,” he spat, taking flight a moment later and heading in the direction of his own, well-padded nest.

    Jin
    The Sky Mountains


    The blue Ralts and the timid Eevee made it to the Sky Mountains the evening after having been teleported by June Gardevoir out of the forest that, until just the previous day, each had called their home. Yesterday, as instructed by the leader of the Ethereal Village, the pair had gone about their normal activities until June had been able to secure the necessary materials to aid them with their journey. She had then teleported the both of them to the edge of the forest along with a fair assortment of berries wrapped in a large fern leaf. Seeing as neither Eevee nor Ralts were built to carry such a parcel, Jin had taken to teleporting it back to his side every few dozen feet. This way, the two had a small supply of food resulting from the most minimal amount of work possible.

    In a word, the long walk from the forest to the Sky Mountains had been silent. Jin was still the sour mood that had resulted from him being banished from his Village alongside a Pokémon that he did not like, and the emotions he read from Kneka hinted that she had become somewhat depressed at the news that she had contracted the Ditto DNA Virus and that, because of it, she had been banished. In contrast, for Jin, hearing that he had contracted the DDV had been the best part of the ordeal. He was a powerful Ralts, had been expecting to evolve for the last few months, and was of a rare color to boot. Perhaps the DDV would be just the thing that he needed to create a legacy for himself known throughout the world . . .

    But, what exactly must he do to make his mark?

    “What types of Pokémon live in the Sky Mountains?” Kneka asked suddenly, gazing worriedly upwards at the looming peaks above her.

    “It doesn’t matter; we’ll be fine,” Jin muttered, awkwardly trying to scramble across a pile of messy little rocks. He found travel cumbersome, and was not looking forward to the prospect of mountain climbing. Another bonus of an impending evolution would be acquiring a form more suited to walking as a member of the Kirlia family.

    “But aren’t Steel types resistant to Psychic type attacks?” Kneka asked, easily jumping the assortment of rocks in the pathway. Jin glared at her for doing so, then teleported himself and what was left of the berries about ten feet down the apparent pathway deeper into the mountain range. It took a moment for Kneka to find him again, but when she did she darted back to his side, a moment of pure panic spiking from her heart.

    “I do know other attacks, aside from Confusion, Lucky Chant, and Future Sight, you know,” Jin retorted bitterly, beginning to walk once more. “I just never have to use them very often.”

    Kneka failed to remark on Jin’s last comment, which was just as well. He preferred silence to conversation. Often, because of his unique abilities as a Ralts, he could sense their feelings and emotions in a way that was more revealing than a thousand words.

    “Are we going to stop soon?” Kneka asked just as the sun was beginning to disappear over the horizon. She sniffed the dry, cool air and then looked expectantly at Jin, waiting for an answer. He merely shrugged.

    “Then, if you don’t mind, I smell water ahead, and think that there will be a suitable shelter nearby. Could I run off and check to see if there is? Would you catch up later?”

    “I won’t ditch you, if that is what you are hinting at,” Jin said bluntly. “June would be able to tell if I did,” he added, making a point to smother the tentative feelings of happiness he momentarily sensed from Kneka.

    Blowing a raspberry, the Eevee began to trot quickly down the trail. Jin scratched his blue cap. He doubted that it would be easy to find a suitable shelter in the Sky Mountains. If Kneka expected to find another nice, leafy bush to rest under, similar to the one they had camped beneath the previous night, then she would be seriously disappointed.

    A few moments later, Jin passed the large rock that had been obstructing his view of the trail ahead and found himself standing before a beautiful, pristine pool of water, filled by a small stream that trickled down from the direction of the mountain in the distance. Surrounding the pool was a collection of tiny mountain flowers, each in a bed of greenery. Just a few feet away, up the side of a rocky hill, was a small hole that probably led to a cave that he and Kneka would be able to shelter in. At the sight, Jin was both happy to have found a place to rest and annoyed that Kneka had been right about there being shelter by the water.

    Kneka had stopped by the pool of water, gazing intently at its flawless surface. Jin teleported himself and the package of berries to her side and then turned to gaze at her reflection in the water. For a moment, he couldn’t imagine why the little Eevee seemed to be receiving so much wonder from her own reflection, and had begun to question his senses when, suddenly, her reflection changed.

    For a fraction of a second, Jin saw the image of a normally colored Ralts beside his own, but the apparent trick of the light vanished as quickly as it had come. Then, a few heartbeats later, Jin watched as Kneka’s reflection morphed into one of a Leafeon for the briefest moment. The reflection disappeared as Kneka hopped backwards, trembling, and then began to squeak with fear.

    “I’m going to transform soon! I really do have the Ditto DNA Virus,” she said. “What if I can’t figure out how to turn back into an Eevee?” What if I end up stuck as some other Pokémon? What if I don’t know how to use any of the attacks from their move pools?”

    Jin was at a loss for words. He wasn’t sure how he should address Kneka at the moment, and was too stunned to speak anyway. The blue Ralts could sense an incredible change within the young Eevee. He could see parts of her flash white, as if she was about to evolve, and sometimes her fur would change from its usual brown or white hues to another color for the briefest of moments.

    After what seemed like an eternity, Kneka calmed, and at the same moment the flashes of white disappeared from her body. She sat rigid upon the ground, eyes still wide with alarm, and then finally turned to face Jin. He remained silent, reading the relief spilling that spilled from Kneka like a liquid, and then took a tentative step toward her.

    “Well? Can you transform at will now?” he asked, curious to the answer. If he was to undergo the same fate sometime soon, he wanted to absorb every little detail about becoming a DDV.

    Slowly, Kneka nodded. She closed her eyes, and then her entire body became engulfed in a white light. The glowing entity changed, altering itself into a different form, and then dimmed to reveal another normally colored Ralts in place of the Eevee. The other Ralts held out her two hands, inspected them for a moment, and then took an awkward step toward him.

    “Yes, I can,” she announced, sounding both pleased and terrified at the same moment.

    Jin teleported to Kneka’s side, determined to discover the extent of her (and soon, his) new gift. “Can you teleport?” he asked.

    Kneka closed her eyes, and then vanished. A second later, she reappeared a few paces away from where she had stood before.

    “I can,” she said softly. Then, her emotions changed, radiating fear and disbelief as she began to scramble backwards across the rocks. Wondering what was bothering her now, Jin turned, and in his shock he teleported to Kneka’s side and huddled against her.

    An entire family of Geodude and Graveler had appeared at the top of a nearby ridge. None appeared happy to see the tiny pair of Ralts on their territory.

    Tress
    The Winter Caverns


    A rather small, young Vulpix slowly padded her way through the icy underground tunnels known as the Winter Caverns. She did her best to ignore the pain that her lingering burns (acquired as she had been transforming from one form to another in her haste to escape a particularly crude Typhlosion that she had chanced across on her travels) as she navigated her way past glittering crystals of ice that reflected a thousand shades of color across her path. It had not helped that, as Tress had sought medical help in a nearby City, she had been identified as a DDV and had been forced to flee the area before being able to receive adequate treatment. But, riding herself of her painful burns was one of the last things on her mind. Right now, Tress was intensely focused on relaying a scrap of information she had come across at the Cobbleaste Hospital.

    At long last, Tress reached the end of the tunnel she had been traveling, finding herself in a comparatively warm, iceless room carved out of a block of solid gray stone. It was lit by a single everlasting fire centered within, and decorated with a series of vines that curled around the walls. How Sorcera managed to keep these alive was beyond Tress, though they did add an air of life to the otherwise desolate cavern. Tentatively, the Vulpix stepped forward, sniffed the air, and then stopped to wait for Sorcera to arrive.

    Tress did not have to wait long. Within seconds of sitting, she felt the presence of another Pokémon, and turned to see Sorcera Mew hovering behind her. The pink Mew cocked her head at Tress, not bothering to disguise her bewilderment upon finding the other Pokémon in her home, and then silently floated past her to the back of the room and took up her usual post atop the Looking Pool. Though Sorcera had never permitted Tress close enough to see the Looking Pool, she had described it to her as a magic pool of water where one could see anything they wanted to, so long as it was their heart’s deepest desire.

    “Why are you here?” Sorcera asked, her sugary voice emotionless.

    “I have something interesting to tell you,” Tress said hastily, doing her best to conceal her uneasiness. She paused, glanced at the burns that blackened her form, and then continued. “After being burned while working to complete the last task you assigned me, I sought medical help in the great City of Cobbleaste. While I was being treated a Pokémon brought an unidentified medicine carrier to my nurse. I took the liberty of following her into the back room after that, knowing that it is illegal to transport medicine in that way in most Cities, and overheard the most startling conversation between my nurse and an Ampharos: The solution transported in the medicine carrier was actually a sample of blood from a confirmed DDV, like myself, that the Council itself had authorized its transfer, and that, once a candidate had been picked, it would be transfused into their blood so that they would hopefully acquire the Ditto DNA Virus and then be able to join the battle with the north as some sort of super Pokémon. Apparently, the Cobbleaste Council knows about as much, if not more, as the DDV as you do.”

    “Did you try to take the blood sample away from them?” Sorcera asked suddenly, still gazing intently into the Looking Pool.

    Tress nodded. “I failed, unfortunately. I barely escaped with my life.”

    Sorcera nodded, then floated away from the Looking Pool and landed at Tress’ side. She transformed, briefly glowing a bright light before replacing her tiny pink form with that of a Blissey’s. Then, Sorcera proceeded to administer treatment to Tress’ wounds in a way that only a member of the Blissey family could.

    “You did well, Tress,” she said sweetly to the other Pokémon. “And based on what you told me, I was able to learn something from the Looking Pool as well.”

    “What?”

    “When you mentioned that the Cobbleaste Council had theories that the DDV could be transmitted through blood, thus that it is possibly genetic, I asked myself ‘If such an infection is genetic, why would so many cases flare up at the same time? What is the trigger?’ For the briefest moment, learning the answer to that was my deepest desire, so I saw, in the Looking Pool, what I had hoped to. I now know what the trigger that seems to be the cause of the infection is.”

    Sorcera smiled, a hint of mystery etched into her face. “I also know the identities of those destined to deactivate this trigger, for the answer to that was also my deepest desire for a brief moment, and the story behind the path that will lead to the end of the war. With it, the DDV will vanish forever.”

    Tress’ heart quickened at the Blissey’s words, though she did her best to hide her emotions. “What can I do to help?” she asked, thankful that her voice did not crack as she did so.

    “You can track down a pair of mere children, a male Nidoran and a Nidorina, who are currently doing their best to keep a low profile somewhere close to the Heather Valley. When you do that, I need you to locate a stubborn blue Kirlia and convince him that he should focus his energies on saving the world as opposed to tearing it apart. I will visit the unusually colored one as well, though he is not destined to listen to me. Now, after you have recruited the Nidoran, the Nidorina, and the Kirlia, you are to bring them to me here; is that understood, Tress?” Sorcera added somewhat stiffly at the end of her otherwise perky monologue.

    Slowly, Tress nodded. As quickly as the Ditto DNA Virus had come into existence, it would likely fade away forever, according to Sorcera. And when it did, those with the infection would once again be normal Pokémon. The mere thought made Tress sick.

    She was all for ending the war, but silently vowed to keep the Ditto DNA Virus active, or die trying . . .

    Edit: Chapter Three will be posted the weekend of the 27th of June.
    Last edited by LavenderEyedNinetales; 25th June 2009 at 2:02 AM. Reason: Chapter Three will be postponed.

    I claimed Flareon in the V4 Thread


    Amidst a war between two fractions of Pokémon, a mysterious disease begins to strike, and those infected find themselves either as the newest weapons of battle or as outcasts . . .

    The Ditto Disease:

    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=393392

    Chapter Three is now posted.

  15. #15
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    Good, I'll read Chapter Two soon. Chapter One is good, but I'm getting a little lost with the characters.
    Current goal: Completing Unova pokedex!

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    Mid-June
    I was so looking forward to it, I even felt guilty for not coming back sooner!
    Truth is fequently inaccurate. Colliepop is definitive.
    !!!JavaBean is my World!!!

    FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFREE, STING LIKE A BEEDRILL

  17. #17
    Join Date
    May 2009
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    The U.S.
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    21

    Default Chapter Three

    Hello, everybody. I am so sorry for not writing and posting this sooner. I know that I disappointed a lot of people with the long wait, but I was very sick this past month and am only just beginning to get better. Thank you for your comments, and as always reviews are welcome.

    Chapter Three

    Kneka
    The Sky Mountains


    The sight of a dozen Geodude and Graveler had been terrifying. But, the enormous wave of fear that Kneka felt radiate from Jin when he, too, caught sight of the newcomers as they crossed the nearby ridge was even more terrifying. Instantly, the blue Ralts teleported to her side, and huddled against her in a gesture that was not meant to comfort her – it was more of a ‘safety in numbers’ action.

    “There are so many of them!” Kneka said, feeling somewhat dizzy at the thought of having to defend herself against so many Pokémon. The Geodude and Graveler, all rock and ground type Pokémon, would be practically immune to any of the attacks she would be able to throw at them as an Eevee. Then, the obvious struck her: She was no longer an Eevee! Once the Ditto DNA Virus had activated within her, she had transformed into a Ralts. In theory, she now had abilities identical to a Ditto’s in the way that she could transform into other Pokémon.

    Kneka couldn’t help grinning as she narrowed her eyes at the Pokémon atop the ridge; the impending battle would probably be one of the most exciting in her life. The Graveler appeared to have commanded the Geodude to battle, and the eight smaller Pokémon were now slowly beginning to make their way down the hill.

    “Eight on two? That’s slightly more fair,” Kneka muttered, casting a sidelong glance at Jin. He still appeared to be immobilized beside her. His fear bewildered Kneka. Jin had been the strongest young Pokémon in their village. Why did he appear to be so terrified now?

    Kneka did not have much time to ponder the answer to her question. Mere feet away now, several of the Geodude had begun to summon rocks to their hands. Kneka teleported from their path, narrowly escaping their Rock Throw attacks, and then wildly looked around the area for some sign of Jin. The place the both of them had been standing moments before had been covered in rocks.

    Had Jin teleported away in time?

    The sight of a storm of spiraling leaves relieved Kneka. She watched as the six Graveler that had remained at the top of the ridge began to roll down the hill after being struck by Jin’s Magical Leaf attack. Jin seemed to have snapped out of his earlier stupor, and, much more characteristically, was now surveying the battleground in a way that already suggested a victory on his part. Only time separated the present from that inevitable accomplishment.

    Then Jin turned to Kneka. “Behind you!” he shrieked. Kneka felt something hard hit her backside, and went tumbling down the hill before her. Once she had stopped rolling, she saw, through blurred eyes, another storm of spiraling leaves. Groaning, Kneka struggled to her feet. She closed her eyes, and then whispered to herself the hope that her next attack would come as easily as the ability to teleport had.

    “Magical Leaf!”

    From seemingly nowhere at all, a flurry of leaves brushed past Kneka and sliced into the pair of Geodude closest to her. The smaller of the two squealed, then turned to flee, while the larger seemed to become enraged from the attack. He summoned a particularly large rock to one of his hands and then threw it at Kneka. She managed to teleport away, though just barely, and attempted another Magical Leaf attack. Her second was even feebler than the first, and once again the angry Geodude merely shrugged it off and began to summon rocks to his side for tossing.

    As Kneka narrowly teleported to safety once more, she searched her mind for a way to turn the tides of battle in her favor. Jin seemed to be having much more success with his Magical Leaf attack, for every time he struck an opponent they flinched and turned away, but her own move barely seemed to bother the Geodude. Was there anything that she could do to make herself more powerful? It was embarrassing to think that she was so weak . . . no wonder June had not believed her fit to leave the forest alone.

    Then, a delightful idea came to Kneka. Now that she had the ability to transform into other Pokémon, what was preventing her from changing into a creature more suited for battle against Geodude and Graveler? If she transformed into a water type, then she would be more apt to fighting her opponents. Kneka thought, trying to think of a water type that she could transform into, seeing as she had never actually seen one before. Her forest home had been home to mainly grass and bug type Pokémon. However, her father, Shade Leafeon, had told her stories about her kin, Vaporeon, and how their kind were able to evolve when Eevee came into contact with water stones. Long ago, Kneka had been told that, because she called the Ethereal Village home, she could expect to evolve into either an Espeon, Umbreon, or a Leafeon, so she had never before thought about becoming a Vaporeon.

    “Well,” Kneka muttered to herself. “There is a first time for everything.” After teleporting away from another Rock Throw attack, she closed her eyes and concentrated on the description that her father had provided her, of all that she knew about Vaporeon. This was what Kneka had done in order to transform into Ralts earlier. Thus, when she did not feel the eerie tingling sensation that had accompanied that earlier transformation, Kneka was at a loss for what had gone wrong.

    Horror gripped Kneka, and she immediately transformed back to her original form, just to make sure that she could still become an Eevee. Then, she sprinted off in Jin’s direction, using her Quick Attack to dodge the barrage being sent in her direction.

    “I couldn’t transform into a Vaporeon when I tried to!” she gasped once within earshot of Jin.

    Jin briefly turned in her direction, and then sent another storm of leaves in the direction of an approaching Graveler. There were still six of the original Graveler and Geodude remaining in the fight, though they seemed to be the strongest of the lot.

    “Have you tried to transform into a different Pokémon?” he asked.

    “No,” Kneka muttered. “What should I transform into?”

    “Try a Leafeon. Then you can start helping me again---“

    Jin’s last words disappeared with him as he teleported away from an approaching Geodude’s Magnitude attack. Kneka was not nearly as lucky; she felt the earth lurch beneath her, and the breath was knocked from her lungs as the attack struck her body. With a daze, the little Eevee fell to the ground. She struggled to keep her eyes open, to focus her vision, but she could feel any energy she had remaining begin to slowly slip away from her.

    “A Leafeon . . .” Kneka whispered to herself, willing the transformation to occur. If she could just adopt the form of a Pokémon better suited for fighting her opponents then everything would be all right . . .

    Some time later, Kneka felt herself teleport. Through dysfunctional eyes, she saw an unfamiliar blue and off-white Pokémon standing at her side. Awe engulfed her as she instantly recognized the creature: A Kirlia.

    “Jin?” she asked. “Is that you?”

    The blue Kirlia nodded. “If you weren’t going to help me get rid of the last of the Geodude and Graveler, I had to improvise.”

    “You evolved?”

    “Yes.”

    Struggling to her feet, Kneka swept Jin’s new form beneath her gaze. He was sitting on a rock, one long blue leg crossed over the other, and his eyes were staring intently forward. Kneka then realized that he was keeping watch over the entrance to the small cave they were in. She had been left up against the back wall. Before her, what remained of the berries that she and Jin had taken from the Village lay in a small heap.

    “What now?” Kneka asked.

    “You sleep,” Jin responded gruffly. “You were completely knocked out by one of their attacks,” he pointed out.

    Kneka was silent, then posed “Why couldn’t I transform into a Vaporeon? If I have the ability to transform, like Ditto, then how come I was not able to?”

    Jin shrugged. “I don’t know. To be honest, I don’t even know what a Vaporeon looks like. I’ve never seen a water type Pokémon before.”

    “Neither have I!” Kneka squeaked, ears perking at the news. “Do you think that is why I wasn’t able to transform into one?”

    “Probably. But I don’t know for certain. Go to sleep. I don’t want to talk to you.”

    As usual, Jin’s harsh, unfriendly remark stung Kneka, though she did not hint that it did. Instead, she put her head down on her forepaws, stared at the wall of the cave for a moment, and then attempted to follow her traveling partner’s instructions.

    Kele
    Cobbleaste City, by the Eastern Sea


    The meeting had been held in a worn-down storage facility a few minutes walk from the hospital. Seven had attended.

    “Now that we are all assured of the plan, we just have one choice left to make,” Kele Persian said, a smile etched upon his old face.

    Beside him, the Blissey stiffened. “You speak of the decision as if it will be an easy one,” she remarked. “I personally doubt that we will be able to find a willing candidate in time. What with all the uncertainties, anyone fit for the task would likely rather die as opposed to exposing themselves to the sample.”

    Kele let out a light chuckle, and then turned to the other five members of the meeting. “The thing is, my dear Naha, that we would be wiser using an average Pokémon, one devoted completely to the greater good of their fair City, as opposed to one better suited for the destiny. After all, the less the candidate knows of warfare, the more open they will be to anything we have to teach them . . .”

    “That is true,” hissed an Arbok. “Let us pick a young, innocent Pokémon for the experiment. If he survives the initial blood transfusion, then the real fun will begin as we train him in exactly the manner we deem fit for the war.”

    “He? Him?”

    Naha blinked at Kele’s little squeaks of amusement. She narrowed her eyes at the old white Persian. “If I did not know any better, I would say that the reason you find Syff’s word choice so amusing is because you have already picked a candidate . . . of the female gender . . . am I correct?” she asked.

    Nodding, Kele turned to the five present members of the Council of Cobbleaste. “I took the liberty of informing the perfect candidate of the meeting today, and have instructed her to wait outside the door of the building for the duration. She knows nothing of what is to be asked of her, only that by participating she will be helping her City, the entire Southern nation, in a way that she would never have otherwise imagined!”

    You already picked the candidate?” a Bellossom asked, comparatively young given the ages of the other members of the Council. “Kele – you seem to be forgetting that you are---“

    “May we meet her? Your candidate?”

    Those six words had been the first that Celendra Azumarill had uttered throughout the entire meeting. Zuma Bellossom leered at her as Kele’s face burst into a flaming grin and he turned to call over his shoulder.

    “Shree! My friends would like to meet you now!”

    The old wooden door across the room slowly creaked open, and Shree Sentret crept into the dimly lit abandoned storehouse. She immediately bounded up to the seven Pokémon gathered around a small table, atop of which stood a single tiny box, and then sat atop her tail as she bowed to the respectable crowd before her.

    “Shree Sentret, at your service” Shree said sweetly. “If it means aiding my City, I am at your complete command.”

    I claimed Flareon in the V4 Thread


    Amidst a war between two fractions of Pokémon, a mysterious disease begins to strike, and those infected find themselves either as the newest weapons of battle or as outcasts . . .

    The Ditto Disease:

    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=393392

    Chapter Three is now posted.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    werever mightyena is
    Posts
    101

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    this is a relly good story. i can see the plot unfolding.

    an award for a good job well done.
    the shadowtrainers out!

    my current team: the best dark type team there is



    i am the darkas (dark artobute) master!
    nobody beats me when it comes to dark types!
    the first dark type gym leader!

    mightyena's ben clamied; the loveable huggable dog

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    8

    Default

    This a a really good story,keep it up.


  20. #20
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    Glad to see The Ditto Disease is back :) Hope you get better quickly, it sucks being sick.

    Anyway, I like this chapter, particularly because of Kneka and Jin's battle and Jin's evolution. I thought you did really well with Kneka's troubles to transform into a Pokémon she had never seen. It also seemed clever that she thought to change into a Water-type, since that's what people usually do, forgetting Grass-types also work well against Rock/Ground-types.

    And finally, Shree is back :D Besides loving the name, I am very fond of her since she was the first introduced, and had a great entrance to the Fic ^^;

    Keep it up ;)


    BA~~

  21. #21

    Default

    I don't remember what the italics mean any more, so please remind me. @_@

    The sight of a dozen Geodude and Graveler had been terrifying. But, the enormous wave of fear that Kneka felt radiate from Jin when he, too, caught sight of the newcomers as they crossed the nearby ridge was even more terrifying. Instantly, the blue Ralts teleported to her side, and huddled against her in a gesture that was not meant to comfort her – it was more of a ‘safety in numbers’ action.
    This feels like a run-on even though it isn't.

    The sight of a dozen Geodude and Graveler had been terrifying. But, The enormous wave of fear that Kneka felt radiate from Jin radiate when he, too, caught sight of the newcomers Geodude and Graveler as they crossed the nearby ridge was even more terrifying than her own. Instantly, The blue Ralts teleported to her side, and huddled against her in a gesture that was not meant to comfort her – it was more of a ‘safety in numbers’ action [b]to keep safe[/s].
    It still a bit off, but I tried. D:

    The Geodude and Graveler, all rock and ground type Pokémon, would be practically immune to any of the attacks she would be able to throw at them as an Eevee. Then, the obvious struck her: She was no longer an Eevee! Once the Ditto DNA Virus had activated within her, she had transformed into a Ralts. In theory, she now had abilities identical to a Ditto’s in the way that she could transform into other Pokémon.
    Even if the shock is still settling in for Kneka, the reader already knows about the Ditto Disease. There's no need for an infodump.

    Kneka did not have much time to ponder the answer to her question.
    This slows down the paragraph, but it ironically says there is no time.

    “Well,” Kneka muttered to herself. “There is a first time for everything.” After teleporting away from another Rock Throw attack, she closed her eyes and concentrated on the description that her father had provided her, of all that she knew about Vaporeon. This was what Kneka had done in order to transform into Ralts earlier. Thus, when She did not feel the eerie tingling sensation that had accompanied that earlier transformation. Kneka was at a loss for What had gone wrong?
    Some time later, Kneka felt herself teleport. Through dysfunctional eyes, she saw an unfamiliar blue and off-white Pokémon standing at her side. Awe engulfed her as she instantly recognized the creature: A Kirlia.
    With this description, he doesn't seem unfamiliar at all. It's Jin. Perhaps describe the differences such as the hair cut or the skirt. I also don't understand how Jin could transform into a Kirlia at will.

    I'm glad you're back.

  22. #22

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    Pretty interesting, when is the next chapter coming? haha

    One nitpick... In your sig you say '2 pokemon fractions'. I think you mean factions.
    I love Slowbro and Slowking! Rawr!

    Thanks alot Llybian_Minamino for the banner!

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