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Thread: Skipping stones ( advance + a hint of palletshipping ) Rated T

  1. #151
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    To above post...

    I'm very sorry about the inconvenience, and I'll make sure to be careful around the forums. I have read the rules and am now aware of the forum rules. Thank you very much for warning me, and I'm very sorry.. Thank you =]

    To my reviewers...

    If I typed anything that looked like a spam, I'm very sorry, and will not do it again.
    Thank you.
    (Image by PD+)Click below to see my fic!! ( Advance with a hint off Pokeshipping!!! )
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...0#post10007400

  2. #152
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    Thumbs up

    Hi this is my first review on this so I will start with saying that you are amazingly good at portraying the characters emotions in much detail, and you have made me shed a tear or two during this fic with the drama, suspense and emotion.

    I love the description of the forest at the start and it painted a beautiful mental image of the forest, which gave a nice change of pace from the suspense in the previous chapters.

    Ryan placed his lips on the corner of my mouth, and kicked my side where he broken my rib- two ribs now.
    My only criticism is if you were kicked in the side would you think that's another rib broken, or would you think about the sharp pain across your chest. Cause I think that it would be the latter.

    What was the use?
    Did it matter if I moved through this? I’d die sooner or later, it was best if it was now. And as twisted as it sounds, I wanted to stay under the river. The pain eased, and my thoughts ranted louder. I didn’t have to put people in danger under here, no one could hurt me, and… I was happy. Happiness… Haven’t felt that in a while.
    'MAY DON’T DO THIS TO HIM!'
    My ears were flooded with the freezing water, and the screams were muffled in the back of my mind. Ash. I would miss him, I would watch over him if I’d make it to heaven. I saw him, and I had no will to fight. It was so clear, so much defined than any memory. My subconscious had stored Ash away in a flawless detail, saving him for this final moment. I could see his angle face like he was really there; His bright liquid bronze glinting off his loving eyes, the exact shade of his olive toned skin, the shape of his lips, the line of his jaw, that smile that so many times made me want to love him more. Ash.
    Here is some more of that amazing emotional description of their thoughts that you have pulled off so well during this fic.

    Can't wait for the next chapter and good luck with the sequel.

    See Ya
    Last edited by Chaos_Umbreon; 23rd November 2009 at 12:08 AM.
    Advanceshipping: Together, 4Ever, Always
    <--------------Original image Suzu, Drawn by Me.
    Favorite Advanceshipping Oneshot by Damon Howe When Earth Meets Ocean
    Fanfiction Page
    Advanceshipping Quote:
    “Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.” - Francois de la Rouchefoucauld

  3. #153
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    Sorry for the long wait, as you didn't know, I wasn't able to type for a while, and know that I am able to access it again, I shall let you know that the next chapter will be upcoming soon. I'm sorry for the wait.    Spoiler:- Chapter preview.:
    (Image by PD+)Click below to see my fic!! ( Advance with a hint off Pokeshipping!!! )
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...0#post10007400

  4. #154
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    *hopes this dosen't look like spam* Don't worry,just do when you feel like it.Don't listen to anyone whos says "OMFG HURRY UP!" or anything similar.
    Can't wait for the next chapter from the advanceshipping fic godess.A.k.a You! XD
    Pokemon pearl freind code: 4511-7516-4862

    Check out XxMays_FlowerxX's AMAZING story (in progress!)
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=404677
    And her SUPER-COOL-AWESOME oneshot!!
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=403481

    Advance4ev is my best bud! ^^

  5. #155
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    Chapter 21: Lost
    __________________________________________________ ______________________________________


    Why is it dark.
    It’s so empty, this feeling, it’s so vivid, so real… nothing can compare to this pain locked in my chest. I’m blind, so stupid. Why? I promised her, I swore that nothing would ever happen to her, that I would always keep her safe. What a fool I am. Why? And yet, I’m running, searching for this girl, with blinded eyes, and no sense of direction. Where to start? Ryan won the battle after all didn’t he? This… This shouldn’t be happening! I’m I that stupid? To allow all of this to happen, to lose her when she was just in reach? I can’t bear this pain!

    The crunch of the earth was nothing more then back ground music, the hollers of my flanks where just a thrumming sound in my head, the Forrest was just a black wall. Nothing… We where running off the southern perimeter, closest to the school, catching her trail, then losing it when it ended back where we started. Now we where off the trail, and somewhere deep in the evergreens, almost approaching the outskirts of the Que Reservation that was owned by a native tribe. Dawn would sometimes ask how I was feeling when I trailed back from my leading spot. I always told her I was hurting. Then she left it at that.

    The wind was brittle now, perfect weather to add to my suspense, and the once high sun, was at it’s mid-peak, a bloody rose fanned the whole sky. I flinched, and kept my sight ahead of me. Often when something snapped, or a twig would fall, Dawn ran to the sound, and kicked at nothing, suspecting Ryan to be there. Barry was way over heels, climbing branches to look over the canopy of trees for May. The only thing I helped out was listening for her. But I wasn’t really searching for the sound of Ryan or May, but the sound of a stream. I remembered something from yesterday, what may was whispering in her sleep. It was so strange. And it wasn’t likely for her to talk while she slept, I only heard her from when she napped in the Forrest with me, at the time when me and my dad fought, and at school when she slept on the ground next to Tracey in Bat mitten. Though, at that time she only talked about school, and hoenn. Yesterday she screamed in her sleep, cringed into me when the sentence was out of her mouth.

    The water, it’s too cold.

    Melaine from a long time ago had a vision of a girl drowning in water. But that was elementary school, she said so herself that the future only opens up to her from at least a day ahead. Mel only laughed and exclaimed. ‘It was only a nightmare, I’m sure of it.’ Somehow it was something that couldn’t go away in my head. And I badly wanted it to vanish, the thought of… that vision coming true. I shivered, and sped ahead of the group again. Barry was staring at his left cocking his ear to the right, Dawn was too. I stopped, and realized that they where not moving with me. They where frozen, eyes wide, hopeful and terrified. I ran up to them with my fists balled up.

    “You hear that?” Barry whispered, now looking to the ground. I waited in the quiet, hoping to find what he was listening to. Dawn nodded and gazed on me. Barry’s teeth locked in frustration, “It’s too far away, but… I think, I don’t know if its… Dawn gasped, and faced the wall of trees and bushes. Barry froze in place, “a scream.”

    Dawn was a step faster then me, and lunged into the wall, breaking through with speed and strength. Her crunches faintly faded away. I yelled for Barry to follow, and he unglued from his spot, trailing behind me, through the wall. Dawn was faster then any of us, her legs where long, and her feet patted softly against the soil, one foot in front of the other. The branches whipped at our faces and arms, promising a bruise to appear later. She rocketed ahead, dodging trees, jumping over boulders, and climbing hills with accurate effort. It took us a little time to get to the same point as her. Other then our pursuit, new sounds became closer and clearer then before, something was rustling ahead, and the sound of water was with it. I pushed forcefully against my will, and panted more harsher then before. The cold air I sunk in burn my throat, and it bit my cheeks. I didn’t care, only for the opening up ahead. The rustling stopped, and Dawn broke though first before me and Barry.

    I glanced over my shoulder to make sure he was still around. He nodded sternly to me and slowed down the same I did, as Dawn hissed loudly on the other side. I huffed, and shook off the sharp heat that tingled down my calf, as I pushed myself through the webbed branches. I blinked and was unable to prepare myself from what I was seeing. Dawn’s back arched, and her fists formed to claws, as her body shook in continuous tremors. I warned her to stay put, and watched in horror of what was finally standing in front of me.

    I knew this face.
    I loved this face, worried about her, searched for her, hoped for her, promised her… And here she was. I couldn’t do anything, I was stuck. Her Crystal dark eyes stared back at me with fear. How could I have done this? Seeing her like this punched the hole in my chest deeper. Then when I trailed down, I really did see her. She was crumpled, both arms slung like water hoes at her hips, one leg was broken covered with scratches everywhere, and then her face…

    I snarled, and angled my back, to crouch in attack. How dare he!!! Barry growled beside me, copying the same stance I took. The ******* that clutched May in his grasp laughed, swinging his head up to contact with the three of us. “You three, you made it just in time I see. How was your walk?”

    “Shut the hell up!” Dawn was paler then before, and was easily going to snap at any second. “Let go of May or I’ll rip that head off of your shoulders!” May cringed back at the thought. I frowned.

    “Oh, Dawn… welcome back.” She took a step, and all of us fallowed her. Ryan backed away with the same smile on his face. “Easy…” Dawn didn’t relax, and her calf rose to take another step.

    “Stay put.” I hissed to her. She was mid-step, deciding to ignore me, “Dawn…” My voice was thick. Barry stared at her too, and she relaxed, and glared from across her way. Ryan frowned when she did not go for his bickering, and sighed angrily. The moment of the highest peak. I walked forward, to be in front of our three way triangle, and locked my teeth.

    His burgundy eyes narrowed, and he shifted his weight on his right, and leaned closer to May’s cheek. I was having trouble keeping my calm. “Ash, you just had to go and push my buttons didn’t you? Of all the people why does she love you?” That sunk into me… Why does she love me? After all of this for sure I would know that her love would vanish. I glared at my feet, the words towered over me, pushing down on my shoulders. Love would vanish. Ryan laughed, and spat to me again,
    “ Ha! I’m quite jealous, I hope you don’t mind sharing.”

    “There's nothing to share, Ryan!” I snapped. How could he think of such a thing? Share? She’s not a toy, she’s a human being! Ugh, I can’t take it! “ Let her go! You’ve gone way to far, and after this is over I’ll make sure you’ll never see this world again.” I snarled with true hate. My frame was shaking the same way Dawn was, and the blood ran quickly under my tight fists. Barry hissed at me, but that was it. No words, hisses. I glanced at myself, and straightened up. Was I really going to attack? With May there?

    “Let me explain my reasons here, there's no rush.” He mused; Dawn snorted darkly. He ignored her and continued, “If you charge at me, then May here will be thrown into that river there. Then there’s the fact of you allowing me to continue on with my duty….” That was enough for me to take another step, nothing to ague the fact that I was going to charge at this moment. My mind was buzzing, and loud with my emotions and hate bursting into mines.

    That ***! You dam, *******! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you in till your nothing but air! After all you done, after hurting her so much, there’s no way I’m letting you to kill her! *******!

    Ryan smiled gain, his muscles flexed from the challenge I was putting on the plate. I wanted him badly to charge at me, and I chuckled under my breath. Come and get some you *******. Ryan was willing, and was clutching May’s arm, hinting to us that he wasn’t joking.

    “Where I’m I in this?”
    I froze in place. Everyone shot there eyes on the voice, ice covering there heads.
    “With me of course.” He laughed. Ryan didn’t look down to her, only on my face.
    Dawn was on my left, her lips where curled back, and a vicious noise echoes the silence. I was too, and I was so sure that nothing was going to stop me and Dawn from killing this man right here.

    May clenched her jaw, and spat in his face, “I’d rather die, then to be stuck with you.”

    Dawn was the first to sprung, her legs dashed left right, and her claws extended for Ryan’s neck. Barry, with hand extended, screamed at her with shock, “NO!”

    All of this was just subconscious though.
    I didn’t care for the others at this moment, for Ryan either. The hole had cut my body in half. Melaine’s vision flashed in my head, and the white light hurt my eyes. How? I was faster then the others, and I targeted on May, who was in mid-air, falling down into the quick river. Dawn was on Ryan’s back, using her arms to head lock him, and she used her teeth to bite him on the neck, for hm to stop thrashing. Barry was locking his hands behind his back. I hoped they would be okay.

    I shouted her name, ripping off the jacket from myself. The ledge was close, and I pushed against it with my legs, and extended me arms out, to puncture through the water. May fell in first, and I fallowed her a second after. The rapids where rough, they tried to pull me the opposite way, and take me under it’s blackness. I kicked at it, and punched my way through it, still shouting her name down the bank. She wasn’t in front of me anymore, and must have been dunked under water. The water was not the temperature that was eligible to swimming in, and the ammonia would kick in eventually. I had only minutes. I dunked my head into the black waters, the ice burned my skin, and the water was dimly lighten and blurry.

    Nothing. I kicked down, and forced myself under, to search for her anywhere. She could be so far away, and the current was only going to get worse. My head reached the surface again, and the numbness was creeping up my feet. Sh!t. I yelled again, and circled around, over boulders, fallen trees… Where was she? I gasped, and the Ice rushed over my head. I pulled against it, and kicked at the force, but it sent me lower down the water. Not only that, but something was brushing softly against my cheek. I twirled underneath, and starred at the elegant pieces of brown kelp. It was sort of strange, as that there was no rocks by me, and the kelp came from above me. Aren’t kelp only suppose to be in the ocean too? Confused, I pulled with more force, and was whipped away from the whirlpool. The spin knocked the air out of my lungs. I petaled upward s and found the air again. I huffed and panted, the water that entered through my lungs burned my throat. I blinked starring down at the water, where two pale fishes stayed still underwater.

    Hell, it’s been 10 minutes! I have to find her. The fishes turned on it’s side, reveling it’s strange fins. Five total. Wait… these aren’t fishes. They where feet. “MAY!” I pulled on her feet and fallowed down in till I found her waist. The kelp was her hair… Her body was cold, and her face was pale with her arms dangling on my back. I wasn’t going to let anything happen. I fought against the current to drift to the side, where a tiny shore formed. May wasn’t breathing, and it caused me to petal faster. Please, please, please. My feet touched sand, and from there I walked up the shore, carefully carrying her on my back to a dry area a few steps ahead.

    I had to work fast. My hands quickly cradled her back, and I used my arms to lower her on the ground. May’s cheeks weren’t the pink rose I loved, and her eye lid where heavy, from the debris of pain. I inhaled a gush of air, and brought my lips to touch hers gently, my hands pumped her chest as I force the air into her lungs. I’m not giving up on you. I parted, and counted to three, and forced more. After all we’ve been through, I wasn’t letting her die. If she died, I would gradually throw myself back into that river. My world was nothing without May. My life was nothing but pain, and covering up my problems, and when she first came to kanto, she opened up a new world for me. 123…123…123… She still wasn’t breathing, and I worked faster and pumped faster.

    I parted our lips again and begged for her to make this through, “May you keep yourself alive you got that?!” I collided again and forced the air. The Forrest was dead, and night drew in. The vision was coming true. No! No, the future changes! And dammit, I’m making it change. “Come on May! Please!” 123…123…123…123…

    My head was light headed, and I was sure after this breath I was going to faint. I inhaled anyways, and exhaled with as much power I could, and counted one more time.
    1…
    2…
    3…



    I drew back, and broke into pieces. I was working over a dead corpse. No response for 20 minutes. I starred at her face in the white light outside. The light made her face paler, and her lips where red. No… I sobbed, and laid next to her, cradling her back into my chest. Her hair was still wet, and felt rough next to my cheek. The blood was washed away, and her entire body was ice against my skin. I hugged her tighter, and argued the facts In my head that there was still hope. If this didn’t work then I was going to die with her. I rubbed my arms and hands on her’s, hoping the friction would warm her body up. My hands trembled, and I couldn’t close my eyes or blink. I was afraid if I shut her off, I would never see her again.

    The full moon replaced the sky now, and the light made everything like it’s skin. May’s skin wasn’t so cold then before, and her cheeks where a shade darker then the scary pale. I hope to god this works. I leaned over her, and punched my lips back, and blew air down her mouth. 1…2…3…

    A brilliant blue flashed before my eyes, and her lips coughed up the water that was stuck in her throat and she screamed horrified. “May!?” I wasn’t sure if she was cold still, so I hugged her again. She cut in mid-scream and gazed up to me. Then she coughed again.

    “How…disorienting. I thought I was drowning.”
    I laughed, and kissed her cheek, so relived and terrified of her near death. She’s okay, she’s okay… May gasped, and groaned again. I snapped away from her, a wash of guilt running through me. She was still hurt. “I’m s-sorry…” she whispered.

    “No, save the talking for later. All you have to do now is rest, I need to get you to a hospital.”
    “Through t-the Forrest?” she asked hoarsely.
    “I don’t care, I’d carry you through the desert if I had too. Now please be quiet.”

    My arms coiled around her legs, so she could wrap them around my torso, then I switched one hand so her head could rest on my shoulder. She sighed deeply, and shut her eyes. The sand was easy when it was dry, so getting up was no trouble at all. I sighed, and ascended over back into the trees. The Forrest was dark, and rays of light was the only thing that helped me see through it. A wind bristled the tree’s and shivered the leaves to scatter away. The path for sure would lead back to the school. We must have traveled down the river pretty far. May’s easily breaths calmed me, and sent me into a restless trance. After all of this the war was over, and neither sides won. No one was killed, and no one was left behind. Another breeze rustled both of our hair in the wind, and May crystal eyes peeped through her black lashes, starring at my face.

    I wanted her to rest, and to not worry about me, but I couldn’t argue with her instincts. We both continued down the dirt road, still together under the twilight sky, and green canopy of cold trees. May’s cheek nustled into my ruff, and breathed in my ear before falling into slumber.
    “My wolf.”

    __________________________________________________ ___________________________________


    I was surprise to see that no one was outside once we broke through the bearer and entered outside of the parking lot. Mine and my dad’s car where the only two that never left their spots, two spots away from each other. I sighed, and ran carefully across and reached over to my car. I forgot about my keys when we I was in the nurses office, and groaned when the reality hit. Now what. May woken up, and stretched her neck to see where she was. I took a breath and counted the math in my head: an hour? Two?

    “Where are we going? Aren’t we going in the car?” May asked when I was walking away.
    Wasn’t it oblivious? “I’m going to take you to the hospital, where else?” She gasped, and started to protest, “Listen, I just walked through the Forrest with you on my back. Don’t question my methods, at least where going there.” May nodded reluctant, and placed her head on my shoulder. I looked both ways and crossed the street. “Are you okay?”

    “Yes.” She whispered.
    “Don’t lie to me. Does your head hurt?”
    “Yes… but I’m okay right now too.” I didn’t get what that meant.

    Something splashed on my neck and arm, and the warmth felt nice. She sighed deeply, and splashed another tear, “I’m happy knowing that I can still live on this earth, with you as my guardian angle. I really thought I was going to die today, and in that term, I felt sad that once I gave my last heart beat, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to be with you. I knew it was for your sake, but…” she thought about that for a second, and answered in a happy tone, “How will I ever find heaven without your hand to guide me? I’d be a lost soul.”

    I laughed softly, and continued down the long sidewalk, with her giggling on my back. I guess I do have a purpose on this world after all. Joggers, and people in their cars starred at us while we walked down the main roads, and asked us if we were okay. We laughed and told them we where healthy as a horse. Though they didn’t get what we meant, we ended up asking if they knew where the closest hospital was-that the one in downtown was too far away from my math. Luckily, are walking was over when a woman in a black suburban suggested if she could take us.

    I asked the our driver if I could barrow her phone, to call my friends. She smiled and nodded, throwing her small cell into my hands. I punched in my dad’s number. May stirred uncomfortably on the bench in the car, and starred at my face when she couldn’t find a comfortable spot. I scooted closer to her so she could lay her head on her shoulder.

    The phone rang twice, “Um, Hello?”
    “It’s Ash, where are you at?”

    “ASH!” he screamed, and rushed out a bunch of words at me, “We’re at the police station, and Dawn and Barry are with Brock hunting down Misty for confession. Where are YOU at? Do you know how worried I was?! Your mother was crying over the phone when she called me and- what the hell where you thinking?! You could have told me that this was happening! Ash you-“

    I ignored him, “We’re arriving at the hospital right now.” The car turned into the drive, and floured up to the red curb. May sat up and gasped when it moved her ribs. I mumble quickly into the phone, while the lady jumped out of her seat to get May’s door. I swung the door open without closing it, and ran over to May’s side. “Listen Dad, I have to let you go. Come over to the…” I glanced up at the hospital’s name, “the Kanto regional emergency entrance alright? Love you, bye.” I slammed the phone shut, and tossed it back into the lady’s hands.

    “Do you want me to go in with you?” the woman asked. Her curly red hair bounced as she helped me get May back on my back. “I mean, you have to have an adult with you…” she trailed off.

    May swung her arms around my neck tightly, and whimpered in pain. I shook my head, and stepped up the curb. “Nah, my dad is coming, but you can come if you want.” She nodded and shut the doors to her car.

    Then she revved the engine and shouted out of the window, “I’ll meet you inside then!”

    I smiled to her, and secured myself with May on my back. Then I dashed forward through the sliding glass doors. May was crying now, and yelling in my ear that her chest felt like it was on fire. The nurses and patients in the room gasped and ran tords me with shocked faces. The receptionist was yelling over the phone for a cot, and was demanding both of our names. I ignored the sudden chaos, and walked forward to where a doctor was near by, staring at me.

    “Take her, please she’s in pain!”
    __________________________________________________ _____________
    WOooo!
    I'm glad I got this chapter done! Okay I think there is ONE more chapter and the prologue, so... we have some time before this fic closes TT____TT
    (Image by PD+)Click below to see my fic!! ( Advance with a hint off Pokeshipping!!! )
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...0#post10007400

  6. #156
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    yay! new chapter! sad part is only 1 more to go... guess every good story has to end sometime!
    Current super Pokemon Fear My Wrath!

  7. #157
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    awwwwwwww y does everything good have to end???? lolz ummmm............................................. i loved it but did u proofread?? i saw alot of errors and im short of time so i cant point them out. anyways i loved how u showed May falling into the river from ashs pov. yaaaaaaaaaaay may isnt dead!!!!!!!!! i feel really bad for ash wen he thought may waz dead, i mean just imagining watching ur soulmate die and trying to bring them back with cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) is just heart- breaking. good chappie like always, keep going!!!!






    <3 Vampire <3
    I'm black in a world of white.
    I'm death instead of living.
    I'm stabbed by both love and hate.
    My heart is ripped to peices,
    never to love again.
    I believe there is no heaven, only hell.
    There is no good, only perfectly masked evil.

    check out my contestshipping fic: Petalburg Highschool

  8. #158
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    Thumbs up

    Yay! May lives! Thanks to Ash's CPR.

    Nice to see the confrontation with Ryan from Ash's POV, and diving into the river after May is just what I could see Ash doing out of desperation for the person that means the most to him.

    You had a few errors in this;

    I’m I that stupid?
    Should be: Am I that stupid?
    You repeated that error a few times.

    The water was not the temperature that was eligible to swimming in, and the ammonia would kick in eventually.
    I think you mean hypothermia (when a persons body temperature drops way below normal), ammonia is a chemical used in fertilizer and some explosives.

    Other than that, the CPR scene was great and the emotions that Ash had while trying to resuscitate May showed how much he cared.

    May’s cheek nustled into my ruff, and breathed in my ear before falling into slumber.
    “My wolf.”
    I loved this scene!

    Keep up the good work and give this fic a brilliant ending!

    p.s. just so you know a prologue goes at the start, I think you mean epilogue.

    See Ya!
    Advanceshipping: Together, 4Ever, Always
    <--------------Original image Suzu, Drawn by Me.
    Favorite Advanceshipping Oneshot by Damon Howe When Earth Meets Ocean
    Fanfiction Page
    Advanceshipping Quote:
    “Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.” - Francois de la Rouchefoucauld

  9. #159
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    Exscuse my...err...lateness XD

    A few gramatical and spelling errors here and there,but I won't point them out since its already been done by other reviewers(Plus,I'm a hypcroite XD).Wait,there is one error....
    DO.NOT.USE.FALLOW!Why can't you use follow?Is it that hard? XD

    Awww,all the scenes were adorable!This was most definetly my faveourite:
    May’s cheek nustled into my ruff, and breathed in my ear before falling into slumber.
    “My wolf.”
    That ***! You dam, *******! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you in till your nothing but air! After all you done, after hurting her so much, there’s no way I’m letting you to kill her! *******!
    Damn!I definetly don't want to get on your bad side when your writing!
    But I fell I must contribute so...
    SWEET ***** ICE TEA **** ******* ***** ************ *** HAM SANDWHICH ******** ***** *** ******* CAP LOCKS LOL ******** ***** ***.Waffles.

    “Take her, please she’s in pain!”
    CLIFFHANGERS.RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH! *insert unessecary growling,shouting,exclamation marks,ect. here*

    I can't believe this is going to be my second last review for this story Good times in this fic,and I will remember them.And of course I will remember my favrouite author ^_^
    Excellent job as usual flower!
    Pokemon pearl freind code: 4511-7516-4862

    Check out XxMays_FlowerxX's AMAZING story (in progress!)
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=404677
    And her SUPER-COOL-AWESOME oneshot!!
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=403481

    Advance4ev is my best bud! ^^

  10. #160
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    yeah chapter is up!
    alright first and for most, this is my top #3 chapter yet! Lolz, I just mean out all of your chapters I happen to like all of them ^________^

    “Through t-the Forrest?” she asked hoarsely.
    “I don’t care, I’d carry you through the desert if I had too. Now please be quiet.”

    Awww... I liked how he would do that for her. Ash is sooo nice >.<

    Something splashed on my neck and arm, and the warmth felt nice. She sighed deeply, and splashed another tear, “I’m happy knowing that I can still live on this earth, with you as my guardian angle. I really thought I was going to die today, and in that term, I felt sad that once I gave my last heart beat, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to be with you. I knew it was for your sake, but…” she thought about that for a second, and answered in a happy tone, “How will I ever find heaven without your hand to guide me? I’d be a lost soul.”

    I was crying so hard when I read this! I mean come on, this is the most beautifulest thing I have ever read! Oh, and how May would give herself for ash is so kind. WHO does that! Oh I love this ship....
    I can't help retuning here to read this!!! KYAAAAAA!!!!!



    The phone rang twice, “Um, Hello?”
    “It’s Ash, where are you at?”
    “ASH!”




    haha!
    I dont know why I was laughing so hard at this part x]

    well as always you do such a phenomenal job! And I can't wait for your future chapters.

  11. #161
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    Is it just me, or does everyone keep forgeting the fact that Flower is writing a sequel?

    As always, I love your plotlines. Still need some help with the grammer aspect, but otherwise it's fine.

    I cannot believe that you almost made May DIE! Oh well, guess I deserve to get hit with that after I made Barry evil XD

    I think I'll pull a Blaze here. WHAT THE HELL IS WITH ALL THE CLIFFHANGERS!!!111sHifT-oNE-ElEveN!!! GOD ****ING DAMN IT!!!

    *coughs* Anyway, I hope your next fic is even better than this one, but I can't see how that's even possible! XD
    I'm so nominating you for a Shipping Oscar, whenever those come around. You're the best, Flower!

    Oh yeah, to all Advanceshippers that recognize the name, Lunarshadow is surprisingly not dead! He's incredibly busy, so don't expect him to be on much except for on holidays and the summer.

    Eon Out~
    Last edited by Eon Master; 10th November 2009 at 2:10 AM.
    "I'm fighting because there's a battle to be fought, Archer. I'm fighting to win. That's all."
    "Hm. Alright, Rin. You are indeed my ideal Master. There is no one else I could hope to serve."



  12. #162
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    Reviews!

    yay! new chapter! sad part is only 1 more to go... guess every good story has to end sometime!
    Thank you! yes, that is the sad part even for me. TT_____TT

    wwwwwwww y does everything good have to end???? lolz ummmm............................................. i loved it but did u proofread?? i saw alot of errors and im short of time so i cant point them out. anyways i loved how u showed May falling into the river from ashs pov. yaaaaaaaaaaay may isnt dead!!!!!!!!! i feel really bad for ash wen he thought may waz dead, i mean just imagining watching ur soulmate die and trying to bring them back with cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) is just heart- breaking. good chappie like always, keep going!!!!
    NO!! Like an idiot I didn't X__X
    No! No! Of course may isn't dead!!! I'm not that evil... (is there an echo in here?) But I'm really glad that you liked this chapter =) I would be scared too if I was in ash's position... thank you so much for posting!

    Yay! May lives! Thanks to Ash's CPR.

    Nice to see the confrontation with Ryan from Ash's POV, and diving into the river after May is just what I could see Ash doing out of desperation for the person that means the most to him.

    You had a few errors in this;

    Quote:
    I’m I that stupid?
    Should be: Am I that stupid?
    You repeated that error a few times.

    Quote:
    The water was not the temperature that was eligible to swimming in, and the ammonia would kick in eventually.
    I think you mean hypothermia (when a persons body temperature drops way below normal), ammonia is a chemical used in fertilizer and some explosives.

    Other than that, the CPR scene was great and the emotions that Ash had while trying to resuscitate May showed how much he cared.

    Quote:
    May’s cheek nustled into my ruff, and breathed in my ear before falling into slumber.
    “My wolf.”
    I loved this scene!

    Keep up the good work and give this fic a brilliant ending!

    p.s. just so you know a prologue goes at the start, I think you mean epilogue.

    See Ya!
    thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!!
    Oh I must have been lazy that day when I posted it up on here... I'm so sorry readers... yes I do mean epilogue, I'm sorry. Thank you again you have no idea how big a help you are!

    I'm glad you liked that scene, I personally loved that scene out of the rest of the chapter. ^__^ I cried for the most part XD

    Exscuse my...err...lateness XD

    A few gramatical and spelling errors here and there,but I won't point them out since its already been done by other reviewers(Plus,I'm a hypcroite XD).Wait,there is one error....
    DO.NOT.USE.FALLOW!Why can't you use follow?Is it that hard? XD

    Awww,all the scenes were adorable!This was most definetly my faveourite:
    Quote:
    May’s cheek nustled into my ruff, and breathed in my ear before falling into slumber.
    “My wolf.”
    Quote:
    That ***! You dam, *******! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you in till your nothing but air! After all you done, after hurting her so much, there’s no way I’m letting you to kill her! *******!
    Damn!I definetly don't want to get on your bad side when your writing!
    But I fell I must contribute so...
    SWEET ***** ICE TEA **** ******* ***** ************ *** HAM SANDWHICH ******** ***** *** ******* CAP LOCKS LOL ******** ***** ***.Waffles.

    Quote:
    “Take her, please she’s in pain!”
    CLIFFHANGERS.RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH! *insert unessecary growling,shouting,exclamation marks,ect. here*

    I can't believe this is going to be my second last review for this story Good times in this fic,and I will remember them.And of course I will remember my favrouite author ^_^
    Excellent job as usual flower!
    No, no as long as you posted I'm happy!
    I'm glad that you like this chapter, and thank you for pointing out the ehh, proublems *cough*
    Damn!I definetly don't want to get on your bad side when your writing!
    No, no you don't. * smiles evily *
    okay blaze, thanks a million!

    yeah chapter is up!
    alright first and for most, this is my top #3 chapter yet! Lolz, I just mean out all of your chapters I happen to like all of them ^________^

    Quote:
    “Through t-the Forrest?” she asked hoarsely.
    “I don’t care, I’d carry you through the desert if I had too. Now please be quiet.”

    Awww... I liked how he would do that for her. Ash is sooo nice >.<

    Quote:
    Something splashed on my neck and arm, and the warmth felt nice. She sighed deeply, and splashed another tear, “I’m happy knowing that I can still live on this earth, with you as my guardian angle. I really thought I was going to die today, and in that term, I felt sad that once I gave my last heart beat, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to be with you. I knew it was for your sake, but…” she thought about that for a second, and answered in a happy tone, “How will I ever find heaven without your hand to guide me? I’d be a lost soul.”

    I was crying so hard when I read this! I mean come on, this is the most beautifulest thing I have ever read! Oh, and how May would give herself for ash is so kind. WHO does that! Oh I love this ship....
    I can't help retuning here to read this!!! KYAAAAAA!!!!!


    Quote:
    The phone rang twice, “Um, Hello?”
    “It’s Ash, where are you at?”
    “ASH!”




    haha!
    I dont know why I was laughing so hard at this part x]

    well as always you do such a phenomenal job! And I can't wait for your future chapters.
    Awww, thank you! that means a lot *tear*
    AHHHHH FAN GIRL!!! KYYYYAAAaA!!! X]
    I'm happy you liked this fic, and it means so much for all you guys that post here, thank you!
    I was laughing to when that part came up. ahhh classic.
    Thanks satoshi!

    Is it just me, or does everyone keep forgeting the fact that Flower is writing a sequel?

    As always, I love your plotlines. Still need some help with the grammer aspect, but otherwise it's fine.

    I cannot believe that you almost made May DIE! Oh well, guess I deserve to get hit with that after I made Barry evil XD

    I think I'll pull a Blaze here. WHAT THE HELL IS WITH ALL THE CLIFFHANGERS!!!111sHifT-oNE-ElEveN!!! GOD ****ING DAMN IT!!!

    *coughs* Anyway, I hope your next fic is even better than this one, but I can't see how that's even possible! XD
    I'm so nominating you for a Shipping Oscar, whenever those come around. You're the best, Flower!

    Oh yeah, to all Advanceshippers that recognize the name, Lunarshadow is surprisingly not dead! He's incredibly busy, so don't expect him to be on much except for on holidays and the summer.

    Eon Out~
    well I guess they don't. X]
    Yes, yes my grammar needs work no surprise there *laughs* But cliffhangers, are me cliche. *lightning background, and evil laughs!*
    OH YESSS!! YOU MADE BARRY EVILL!!!!! so now may had to go through that!
    jk,jk. anyways, I'm glad you liked it, and thank you for posting!
    (Image by PD+)Click below to see my fic!! ( Advance with a hint off Pokeshipping!!! )
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...0#post10007400

  13. #163
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    Here is a sneek peak of the next chapter!
        Spoiler:- Chapter 22: bandages:
    (Image by PD+)Click below to see my fic!! ( Advance with a hint off Pokeshipping!!! )
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...0#post10007400

  14. #164
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    (Ash's POV )

    Chapter 22: Bandages


    __________________________________________________ ___________________



    “She lost a lot of blood, broken three ribs, j`er leg was fractured to the thigh down, a few stitches had to be sewed into `tha back of j`er head, and… jeez, she’s one lucky gal. In all my years of being a doctor, I’ve never had worked so hard on anyone z`ike this before!” I was shaking my head in my hands when the doctor reviewed the injuries. I glanced up at May’s face on the cot, and flinched when I seen the stitches. Dr. Mason laughed in his German ascent, and patted my back. “Dear me, what has caused this disaster to happen eh? Mrs. Hakura is very, very lucky to withstand these injuries!”

    I wasn’t too found of him after he went after the reviews, it made me feel like a complete ***. I pinched the bridge of my nose and muttered at him, “She fell into a river.” He ahhed, and laughed his way over to May’s left side of the bed. What the hell was he laughing for. “ So… when do you think she’ll be able to recover her.. injuries?”

    The doc tapped on his check bored and examined the bags hanging over May’s bed. He sniffled, and wrote something down, then placed his green eyes on me, “In da… about three weeks for some stuff, and for bones in her case, two or three months.” I slapped my forehead. T-Three months? He smiled crookedly at me, bent down, and retrieved his flashlight from his white coat pocket. “Lets see about d`you now… “ He shinned the beam into my eyes, almost blinding me entirely, “Hmmm, it seems you don’t have a case of optic nerve hypothalamus…” Dr.Mason clicked it off and placed it back in his coat pocket, then reached out to examine my cheeks. His touch burned on my skin, and I drew back in defense. “Well, other zen your cuts, you seem to be alright to go anytime you want.”

    He smiled, and stretched up and yawned, “So… She is your girlfriend no?” I nodded, and frowned. “She is very lucky to have you. If it weren’t for you young man, she’d not be here with us today.”

    I stood up from the chair to extend my hand out to him. It was the only thing I could do, I mean he did save her. I owed him a lot. “Uh… thank you very much for taking care of May sir. I’m really happy that she’s going to be alright.” He grasped my hand firmly and nodded. I dropped my fist to my waist, “Do you know when she will wake up Dr.Mason?”

    He stopped in front of the door, and turned half-way to me, “Oh she’ll be conscious in a few minutes. If she does wake, call us if you need anything `ja??” I nodded, and smiled up to him. He laughed and waved walking out the door, “GAh! Ihre beiden werden ein niedlicher Ehemann und Ehefrau!! ahhahaha!!”

    I sweat dropped.; something tells me he said something very stupid. My head pulsed from an upcoming headache, and the pain killers I took earlier where wearing me down. I walked back to my seat by the cot, knowing I was probably going to sleep pretty soon. As much as I knew May was right in front of me, I couldn’t even bring myself to look at her. My gut churned, and in the pit of my guilt, my mouth tasted dry. I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on my breathing.

    The rattling of a door knob caught me off guard in what I was trying to concentrate. Visiting hours were over. I sprung away from the cot to the balls of my feet, facing the cracked door were a gray eye peeked through. It took me a moment to process who it was; I straightened out from my protective stance. John sighed loudly from behind the bullet proof door, and swayed it fully, stepping through the beam. His eyes were tiered, and his lips were in a tight line, something was on his sleeves. Water? I sighed, and walked to meet him in the front of the cot. First he glanced over my shoulder for a long minute, then he sliced his eyes on me. His expression was something I didn’t expect. He walked around me dropping my gaze, to take my place by May. I turned to stand by him when something bright red caught my eye. My father coughed, hiding his face with his fist.

    “Um, hello… Ash right?” I stared at her for a long second, then nodded. Her uneven lips curved, and she stepped out from her hiding place behind the frame of the door. I recognized her immediately, she was the same woman that drove us to the hospital. I scratched my head confused,
    “I-I haven’t had the chance to introduce myself while I was waiting with you in the emergency room, but my name is Vee. Vee Kyoko.” Vee had her hands behind her back, and her fiery red hair tied up in a bun.

    I blinked, and grunted, “Er, nice to meet you Vee. You already know my name, but I just wanted to thank you for helping me and May tonight. If it weren’t for you, I don’t think we would have made it.” I gave her a grin, and bowed out of politeness. She bowed back, her hair falling over her shoulders.

    Vee smiled, and nodded her head past my shoulder, “I met your father earlier, and got talking- you two look so alike by the way. John was telling me how you ended up here…” I glared at him, and barred my fists. He was such a flirt. He arched an black eyebrow at me, glaring back. Vee laughed nervously, and walked backwards tords the door. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I have to leave for the moment. I was on my way to work on the way here so I have to go. It was very nice to meet you two.”

    I flashed her another smile and thanked her again, fallowed by my dad hallowing goodbye and waving. I swirled around to ssh him. We were in a hospital for god’s sake. Vee blushed bright crimson, and waved back at him before closing the door. Well, that was very nice of her to come in here. Vee wasn’t quite bad. My dad reached out to the girl on the cot and grasped her hand. John’s silver eyes tinted with a black edge. Not wanting to interrupt him, I took the seat on the other side of him. He glanced up for only a second, then returned his eyes on the girl. I didn’t want to fallow his eyes, just siting here already kills me. John inhaled deeply, and guffawed out of habit when the room grew too quiet. He shook his head, and shut his eyes.

    “Ash, did you know how scared I was when Dawn called me? When she said what happened, and said they couldn’t find you?” he whispered. I shrugged, and bit my tongue. His eyes were open staring at me, “You could have told me. I would have done something to prevent you ending up here. Like I said before, you don’t think things through…”

    “ Dad, I know.” I snapped. A drift of silence drifted over our heads. I didn’t need a reminder of how completely stupid I was. I knew this all was my fault, if I only did what Brock told me we wouldn't be here. I cursed under my breath, and crossed my arms.

    “ Then why did you bring May down with you?” I unexpectedly stood up, standing over my dad with balled fists. He flew his hand at me to sit down, “ Don’t get your temper in a bunch, let me explain what I mean.” He rolled his eyes. I studied him, and sat back down. I didn’t get him sometimes, “ What I meant was, you could have prevented from her getting hurt. Though you ignored the warning sound and walked into the danger zone anyways, you were dragging her behind. Maybe you should start listening to me and use that head of yours the right way.”

    I refrained myself from cursing him out, and clenched my saw tight. I hated how right he was. I breathed through my nose, and counted to ten. I wasn’t ready to take on this topic, but he was right, why did I do that? If I wanted to protect her, why didn’t I…. I threw my head in my hands. Why didn’t I do just that, protect her? She was probably better off with someone who actually has a head, or at least a heart. A Jacob* even- he liked her. I hated what I was thinking, I wanted it to go away, but then I knew it was something that had to be done. I was selfish, and thick headed, she doesn’t deserve that. May deserves someone better then a wolf. The pulse in my head banged loudly ringing my ears. I massaged the sides of my temples, glaring at the ground.

    “What do you suggest I do?” I asked, completely hopeless. John stood up, and patted my arm, walking to the door, before answering my question.

    “Do what’s right for her..” The henge clicked close.

    __________________________________________________ _______________________

    The orange sun bronzed with the pink clouds outside, the heat trickled down my arms, and the side of my face were I stared out the sheet of glass from a sleepless night. It was no longer a new start, but the beginning of the end. My eyes felt heavy, but they were wide awake with the throbbing and sick feeling in my stomach. Today was something that I didn’t want to come, but the sun won, and the day has returned for another round. After my dad walked out, I was on my own to decide what to do. For five hours I sat and thought the millions of ways that I was going to tell her. The worst part was it was still going to hurt her, the best part was that it was better for her…and me.

    I sat on the cot and took a deep breath, and placed my eyes on her. What the doctor described to me last night was planted in my head as I scanned her over for the first time. Her head was bandaged, and so was her two arms, and right hand. A bandage was sticked to her cheek, and her midsection also bandaged as the doctor described. I had to look away, It was very hard to swallow this in.

    I just sat there, listening to the pace of her breathing, and the beeps that kept a rhythm on the monitor over her bed. It drives people nuts, but in my case it helped when it came to calming me down. It could have been minutes, maybe hours, but eventuality something touched my hand. I sucked in a breath, the touch was electrifying. I twisted around to smile down to the person behind it.

    May’s eyes fluttered open, and her cheeks grew pink like the sky outside. Her lock on my hand tightened, and her eyes grew wide, examining the place around her. I waited in till she came across me, then I forced out a laugh. She smiled back warmly, and let go of my hand, to twine back with her own. She mouthed hello, no sound exiting her lips. I nodded, and bit my tongue, looking down. How the hell was I going to do this? I was going to break, I knew I was, I just couldn’t Imagine myself being away.

    “What’s wrong?” A shiver ran up from my spine. Why did her voice sound so clear? I fallowed back up to her face, and pretended to smile. She was frowning, obviously not tricked. I brought my hand over my eyes; what do I say? “Ash, did something happen?” she guessed. I shook my head, taking the opportunity to look away. I felt her scoot closer, then her bandaged hand clenched my chin, so that I was forced to look at her. I didn’t fight back, and gave her my attention. “Tell me…” her eyes were worried.

    I didn’t answer right away, I couldn’t tell her what was on my mind, because we both knew that it would hurt us both. May waited, my chin still in her hands. Well what would I say? That it was best if we didn’t stay together? As much as it was true, it seemed impossible. We were bonded so tightly, if you cut one string the other one would fall. But it was better for the sake of May, I want her to have a life without getting hurt because of me. Her hands fell, and her eyes narrowed in impatience. I inhaled a shaky breath, my heart already cracking in the middle. I had to tell her.

    “We…” I shut my eyes, building up the courage. Say it… My mouth was dry,and my heart was disappearing. I had to let her know… Say it. “We cant stay… together.”

    A cloud of dead quiet hovered into the room. She sat back, and stared at me with shock, her lower lip trembling. “We. Can’t. Be. Together?” she whispered, her eyes growing red.

    I chocked back the thought of taking it back. I struggled to answer, “No.”

    Another drift of quiet, before she broke down and huddled close to my chest, weeping into my shirt. I couldn’t stand seeing her like this. My shirt was wet with her tears, and her sobs for me to stay drowned me under. What would I do. Wanting to protect, but ordered to hurt. How could you resist when the one you loved was seeking your help, but drawing in her own pain? I brought my arms around her waist, and laid her back down on the cot. She flopped not giving me a chance to relax her. She was always so stubborn. I drawled the sheets over her, and pushed her down when she was trying to get up.

    My heart was running in two directions, tearing down into nothing. “Calm down…”

    “NO!” she screamed at me. She thrashed, and pushed my hand out of the way, so she could sit up. As much as I hated this, I needed to let her go. My dad said I had to do what was right for her. “Why!?” she ordered.

    I opened my mouth, but nothing came. Why? I clenched my jaw back shut, and zeroed my eyes. “May, All I’ve been doing is putting you into stuff that hurts you. I want you to live your life without that danger lingering on you. I don’t deserve you. Maybe that Jacob kid is a better guy for you, a guy who actually has a heart-“

    “This is a-about keeping me safe!?” she snapped. “ Listen, I don’t know who gave y-you this outrageous thought, but this is not a reason that we can’t be together! I’m going to get hurt either way, even when I’m not with you. You can’t protect me all the time, I KNOW that!” she sobbed.

    “I’M hurting you!” May’s eyes stabbed me with hate. It killed me right there. “You see? I’m doing it right now! I’m doing this for you, not for myself.” Believe me, I wouldn’t even do this if this was for me.

    “Well do me a favor.” She yelled. “DON’T do this for me. I don’t care if I get hurt, I would rather die then to lose you! I love you…” she trailed of, cut off by her own faintness. I untangled myself from her, feeling my own tears roll down my cheeks. I bit my lip, and waited for her to calm down.
    “A-Ash… I d-d-don’t want you t-to go.”

    I leaned in, and pressed my lips to her forehead, holding there for a moment, then whispered my last words, before my end was coming near. “Please be safe. I love you, so please be safe.” I backed off, shrugged into my jacket, and headed for the door. Before I could change my mind, and stay with her.

    __________________________________________________ ____________
    *Jacob= please review chapters for the character.

    Chapter End. Epilogue is coming soon.

    Thank you everyone for supporting me, and reading my fic, it means a lot to me! ^__^
    (Image by PD+)Click below to see my fic!! ( Advance with a hint off Pokeshipping!!! )
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...0#post10007400

  15. #165
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    oh my god oh my god oh my god!!!!!!!!!
    FFFIIIRRRSSSSTTTT REEEVVIIEEWWWW!!!!!!!!!!
    um, okay let me calm down....

    Wow, SADDEST chapter yet, how could you do that to me! so, ash is out of may's life?? WAAHHHHHH!!!! NO! nO!NO! - cries in a corner -
    Maybe this is why there is a sequel...
    eh, but here I go with quotes....

    Vee smiled, and nodded her head past my shoulder, “I met your father earlier, and got talking- you two look so alike by the way. John was telling me how you ended up here…” I glared at him, and barred my fists. He was such a flirt. He arched an black eyebrow at me, glaring back. Vee laughed nervously, and walked backwards tords the door. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I have to leave for the moment. I was on my way to work on the way here so I have to go. It was very nice to meet you two.”
    hmmm.... something tells me she was more then just stopping by. I think she likes ashes dad! ehhhh!!!

    A cloud of dead quiet hovered into the room. She sat back, and stared at me with shock, her lower lip trembling. “We. Can’t. Be. Together?” she whispered, her eyes growing red.

    I chocked back the thought of taking it back. I struggled to answer, “No.”
    I was about to throw my computer out the window, and hide in my closet for a week. That is sssooooo sad! DAM YOU ASH's DAD!!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE COOL!!!!
    - cries some more -

    well, I always love your chapters, even when it makes me cry.
    I can't wait for the epic ending!!

  16. #166
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    That's it, I'm going postal. I could have sworn that you just made Ash and May seperate... oh wait... OMG, HOW COULD YOU!!!

    Just for that, I'm going to be a Grammar Nazi. Du müss richtige Englisch sprechen!
        Spoiler:- Grammar Nazi:


    Flower, you seriously need a beta reader. Someone who will go over your chapters and point out mistakes for you to fix. I stopped doing beta work a while ago, so please don't ask me.

    Other than that, I'm waiting for the epilogue. I'm also waiting for you to read my newest chapter

    Not really much else to say.
    "I'm fighting because there's a battle to be fought, Archer. I'm fighting to win. That's all."
    "Hm. Alright, Rin. You are indeed my ideal Master. There is no one else I could hope to serve."



  17. #167
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    The final chapter?. Oh noes >.<
    “GAh! Ihre beiden werden ein niedlicher Ehemann und Ehefrau!! ahhahaha!!”
    That was so unnescary,flower,you big drama queen!
    “We cant stay… together.”
    *GASP* How unexpected! No really,I was sorta blind not to see that coming :l
    she whispered, her eyes growing red.
    Red?Vampires eyes are red!Why couldn't you just say overly bloodshot or something!Hmm?HMM?!

    Oh wow.Ash,you big meanie,don't leave her!
    There I go talking to fictional characters again,when obviously,ITS FLOWER'S FAULT!
    Anyways,hoping the epilogue will be good,which I'm guessing is your final post on this thread until its get the L word....Locked.But I guess theres always a sequel.
    As always flower,your writing abilities continue to impress me with most perfection.Its like you sprinkled it with magic fairy dust.Or something like that.
    In other word,YOU RULE!
    Pokemon pearl freind code: 4511-7516-4862

    Check out XxMays_FlowerxX's AMAZING story (in progress!)
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=404677
    And her SUPER-COOL-AWESOME oneshot!!
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=403481

    Advance4ev is my best bud! ^^

  18. #168
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    Thumbs up

    WHAT!! HOW COULD YOU MAKE ASH DO THAT TO MAY!! HONESTLY, PHYSICAL WOUNDS HEAL, BUT A BROKEN HEART TAKES MUCH LONGER AND CAN HURT MUCH MORE!!

    I will leave the German errors to Eon, but just one thing...






    STOP WRITING FALLOW, ITS FOLLOW!!
    Maybe you should stick a post it note onto your screen telling you that it is follow not fallow.

    Other than that and the errors Eon pointed out there was not much else.

    Other than Ash breaking May's heart this was a good chapter, I liked how you had a German doctor, I suppose having Ash break up with her allows for a plot in your sequel.

    Can't wait for the Epilogue and good luck writing the sequel and give it a happy ending.

    See Ya!

    Chaos Out!
    Advanceshipping: Together, 4Ever, Always
    <--------------Original image Suzu, Drawn by Me.
    Favorite Advanceshipping Oneshot by Damon Howe When Earth Meets Ocean
    Fanfiction Page
    Advanceshipping Quote:
    “Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.” - Francois de la Rouchefoucauld

  19. #169
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    STOP WRITING FALLOW, ITS FOLLOW!!
    Thank you chaos.Finally someone else notices.Seriously,is there even the word fallow in the dictionary?No?Is a next to o on the keyboard?No?THEN STOP WRITING FALLOW >.< As chaos said,put a note on your monitor.
    Last edited by BlazeFusion76; 1st January 2010 at 11:40 PM.
    Pokemon pearl freind code: 4511-7516-4862

    Check out XxMays_FlowerxX's AMAZING story (in progress!)
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=404677
    And her SUPER-COOL-AWESOME oneshot!!
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=403481

    Advance4ev is my best bud! ^^

  20. #170
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    =O You cant do this! Nevar!!!! *sad pikachu face appears* see?! pikachu is sad too!
    Current super Pokemon Fear My Wrath!

  21. #171
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    Vancouver: yes I'm one of them
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    IM NOT DEAD!!!!
    I'm really sorry guys but I've been EXTREMELY busy, and i promised that i would finish this, so here is the last chapter to skipping stones!

    This is the shortest chapter okay so don't be all like: WHAT THE HELL I WAITED FOR THIS?? It's only because I don't want to expose a lot about my next ship alright? I'm sorry if your disappointed... ={












    Epilogue


    ( one month later )

    I could still feel his warm vibes jolting down my arm when he saved me that deadly cold night. I could still remember those two beautiful brown eyes that cut through all of the fear that was hauled in me. I could feel still feel the pain, of my heart digging deeper into a whole, that would never heal. I’m suppose to be let out today from the hospital, and my friend Dawn is going to pick me up. She was the only one I could stay in contact with, one by one all of my other friends faded away from me. Every time she entered my room, the first thing I’d ask was. ‘how was Ash?’. Dawn would frown, and say he was good. That was all. Ash was good. It wasn’t in till yesterday when she visited me, that I heard that Ash had moved away with his father.

    The never ending stream of tears continued to slide down my cheeks. I stared out my window, where the sky was clear, not a single cloud in sight. The scent of autumn was in the air, and the taste was metallic on my tongue. Why couldn’t I just give up already? Why couldn’t I let go? A shuddering gasp slipped through my lips, and I wrapped my arms around my chest, trying to keep the whole from tearing me apart. Every memory, every thought hurt, his face, the sound of his name killed me. I blamed myself for everything, and sometimes I would think if this would have been less painful if I wasn’t even here. But I couldn’t do that. I had to stay here for my mom and dad, and max too… especially Dawn.

    The familiar metal door cracked open, with a nurse peeking through. I sniffled, and quickly wiped my tears. She frowned, “Your all set to leave dear.”

    “Thank you.” I murmured.

    The woman shut the door close, leaving me alone again. I stood up to what have felt forever, and gazed around the room. I sighed deeply, secretly wishing that I didn’t have to leave. The bed was made, with a new sheet for a new patient to take my place, the mint walls still had the same coat like that same day I first came here. I quivered from the memory, and started walking for the door. I dragged the handle away from the henge, and stepped through the exit, closing the door behind me. I would miss this place. The nurse smiled to me, and asked if I was ready to leave to the van down stairs. I nodded, and followed her out, walking away from my room. After the short walk down the hallways, we entered into the lobby, where my friend stood for me to come.

    I smiled brightly, and ran to her forgetting about the nurse. The bluenette grinned back, and hugged my arms. “It’s great to see you out of your room finally!” I nodded in agreement. “You ready to leave?”

    I side-stepped back to the nurse who was walking away now, and at the ER entrance. I took a deep breath. I was ready to leave this place, and my past. I smiled and grasped her hand, “Yes.”


    There wasn’t a doubt In my mind that the day would come that I would leave. And as I hoped, I left with a smile on my face, and a friend at my side. The fresh air blew at my face, and my hair. A couple months ago I just arrived to this town, I met the love of my life, I met dawn and other wonderful friends. I was hated and attacked by Ryan a couple months ago. And a month ago, my heart was broken by the only person who could break it. The sun was high in the sky as if the heat would inflame my insides.

    The sun felt nice, as if Ash was holding me once again.

    Fin

    __________________________________________________ __________________

    I want to thank all of the repliers and supporters of this fic! If it werent for you I wouldn't be finishing this! Thank you very much! And now I will say this is the end of Skipping Stones...
    (Image by PD+)Click below to see my fic!! ( Advance with a hint off Pokeshipping!!! )
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...0#post10007400

  22. #172
    Join Date
    May 2009
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    It's a Party in the USA!!
    Posts
    56

    Unhappy Omgz barely even here and 1st reviewer!!!!!

    Wow.... that was so emotional Poor May.... At least Dawn's with her still I guess.
    ASH AND MAY GET BACK TOGETHER OR I'LL GET A HAUNTER AND MAKE IT FOLLOW YOU FOR LIFE!!!!!
    Anyhow, I'm very proud of you... I'll be honest, you had quite a bit of mistakes but then as you progressed, you got better and better. Amazing job on this fic. Can't believe this fic ended, well all good things come to an end :'(
    Can't wait for the sequel and guess I'll see you then ^^
    Don't stop writing cause you're filled with Pure Awesomeness ^v^

    (ps sorry this was so short )
    Last edited by advance4ev; 21st February 2010 at 4:12 PM.
    I'm not dead.... Just unavailable :'(

    Special Thanks to Ampy for making the wonderful banner. ^^

  23. #173
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Great Britain! FTW!
    Posts
    79

    Thumbs up

    Late review as I have been incredibly busy.

    A very nice ending to finish a brilliant fic.

    Just one repeated error in this epilogue:

    I could feel still feel the pain, of my heart digging deeper into a whole, that would never heal.
    Wrong word, you mean hole; e.g. a hole through a wall not the whole(entire) wall.

    Throughout this fic your writing has certainly improved, despite some small habits like writing fallow instead of follow. I would say that the one thing that you do best is writing the character's emotions, so keep it up and hopefully the sequel will be even better.

    See Ya Then!

    Chaos Out!
    Advanceshipping: Together, 4Ever, Always
    <--------------Original image Suzu, Drawn by Me.
    Favorite Advanceshipping Oneshot by Damon Howe When Earth Meets Ocean
    Fanfiction Page
    Advanceshipping Quote:
    “Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.” - Francois de la Rouchefoucauld

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