View Poll Results: In Chapter 1, was it funny when Ash got slapped?

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  • Yes, it was hilarious!

    4 40.00%
  • Not really, who want's to get slapped?

    0 0%
  • Somewhat funny, but I feel Ash's pain.

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Thread: Opal's Shadow: Vessels of the Legends (mainly advaceshipping, PG-15)

  1. #1
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    Default Opal's Shadow: Vessels of the Legends (mainly advaceshipping, PG-15)

    Hey guys, new Advanceshipping fic in town! Some of you might recognize me from my reviews of Skipping Stone, Destiny Bond II, and The Aura is With Me. After reading these, I decided to write my own Advanceshipping story. Full background info will be in the next chapter. Not much shipping until Ch. 2, but it will be there, I promise. Before I forget, here's the PM List. If you'd like to be added, just leave a review and ask. If you don't like to review, drop me a VM or PM.

        Spoiler:- PM LIST:


    And now, enjoy my fic!
    __________________

    Prologue


    October 10, 2015

    I just stood there and watched as she was killed. The closest human friend I ever had, blown to pieces from a bomb. I could have saved her, could have stopped it, and life would have gone on as usual. Now, that will never happen.

    I’m leaving Orre tomorrow, taking what little I have left along with me. Pikachu is gone, he ran away after the explosion, but not before he electrocuted me, and screamed at me with hatred in his eyes. He knows it was my fault, he understands. I doubt the others would.

    I will never see my friends again; never share the good times, the tough challenges, our fond memories or our battles with each other. Severing my ties with my mother is hard, but to leave all my Pokemon, and all the friends I’ve had in life is borderline impossible.

    I may never battle again, after what happened yesterday. With Pikachu gone, and the other Pokemon at Oak’s, I don’t have any partners left to battle with. The egg she left me might be the sole hope for my trainer career now. Pikachu never did get to see his child, maybe he will someday, but I doubt he will ever forgive me. I hope he doesn’t after what I’ve done to him and to Opal.

    I lost the person closest to me, and Pikachu lost his mate because of my actions. I don’t know how long it will take, but the person who planted that bomb is going to pay. I will spend the rest of my life to hunt them down, Pokemon or no Pokemon, with friends or friendless. No matter what, I have to atone for my mistakes. May you rest in peace, Opal. I will never forget.


    ‘I never did forget, and I might have even found the answer,’ thought the man as he read the diary entry, dated almost seven years prior. Here he was, back in the trainer world as a co-ordinater. He chuckled; musing to himself how odd it was that he had ended up as something he had thought was beneath him as a trainer.

    “Haaaaa,” he exhaled softly as he put the diary back in his bag, “May would get a kick out of this one.” The man looked up at the TV screen, checking the matchups for the first round of contest battles. “Speak of the devil,” he murmured, seeing that he was paired up against the very person he had just been thinking of.

    “All right, Ladies and Gentlemen, the first round of contest battles is about to get underway!” announced Vivian, the contest MC. “So our first two contestants need to report to the stage. The battle starts in just two minutes, so don’t go anywhere!”

    “That’s my cue,” announced the man as he left the back area for the stage.

    ‘The last time I had a contest with May was in Terracotta Town’ he recalled, the half a ribbon in his front pocket providing further memories. It was his good luck charm, split in two after a tie between the two of them. He glanced up, noticing his opponent walking towards the stage opposite him. She paused and glanced over at him, then she nodded and went on her way.

    ‘This time it won’t be a tie. I can win this,’ he reminded himself. ‘And if I don’t, then at least it’ll be fun.’

    He was smiling as he walked on stage, ready to stand in the spotlight once more.
    __________________

    Ok, a little bit boring, but it’s a prologue, so what are ya gonna do? The next chapter will be better, and some of the main plot will be unveiled. Expect the next chappie soon
    Last edited by Eon Master; 23rd February 2010 at 3:37 AM.
    "I'm fighting because there's a battle to be fought, Archer. I'm fighting to win. That's all."
    "Hm. Alright, Rin. You are indeed my ideal Master. There is no one else I could hope to serve."



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    Well...little confusing but I think understand now.I think....
    I havent really got much to say,like you said it was only a prlogue...
    Pokemon pearl freind code: 4511-7516-4862

    Check out XxMays_FlowerxX's AMAZING story (in progress!)
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=404677
    And her SUPER-COOL-AWESOME oneshot!!
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=403481

    Advance4ev is my best bud! ^^

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    Thanks Blaze, now I won't have to double post. If you have questions, ask them! I don't bite (hard).
    "I'm fighting because there's a battle to be fought, Archer. I'm fighting to win. That's all."
    "Hm. Alright, Rin. You are indeed my ideal Master. There is no one else I could hope to serve."



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    Quote Originally Posted by Waterpokes View Post
    I don't get to much what happened, but I guess the italic words are the future/past.
    And I guess Ash killed somebody, while this Opal died?
    Interesting story, and I guess the egg is something Pikachu can breed with...
    That is very interesting!
    Yes, the Italics are acctually from the diary of Ash. It's italics b/c it's his handwriting.
        Spoiler:- Explanation:

    Yes, you got it in one. The egg is from Pikachu and     Spoiler:- spoiler:
    "I'm fighting because there's a battle to be fought, Archer. I'm fighting to win. That's all."
    "Hm. Alright, Rin. You are indeed my ideal Master. There is no one else I could hope to serve."



  5. #5
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    Hmm.. very impressing! Well prologues ARE suppose to not make sense as I read in previous books. But I can already see another phenomenal writer in the future. I can already see that this story will flow with good dialogue and description.

    I can't wait for the next chapter. And thank you for posting in my story.
    - bows -
    Well It's pretty sad knowing the one person we all love is gone. - sigh -
    ( I think? ) but like dawn says: No need to worry! I know this will develop into a wonderful fic! good luck and best wishes to you!
    (Image by PD+)Click below to see my fic!! ( Advance with a hint off Pokeshipping!!! )
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...0#post10007400

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    ^Um, Flower, I think you are getting your people mixed up...
    nobody you know has died yet...
    Who were you thinking of? May? Or Ash? They're both in the chapter.
    Last edited by Eon Master; 2nd August 2009 at 2:50 AM.
    "I'm fighting because there's a battle to be fought, Archer. I'm fighting to win. That's all."
    "Hm. Alright, Rin. You are indeed my ideal Master. There is no one else I could hope to serve."



  7. #7
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    I was thinking may?
    ^.^;
    (Image by PD+)Click below to see my fic!! ( Advance with a hint off Pokeshipping!!! )
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...0#post10007400

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    Nope, she's in the prologue. Expect the next chapter sometime tonight or tomarrow morning, and it's a long one.
    "I'm fighting because there's a battle to be fought, Archer. I'm fighting to win. That's all."
    "Hm. Alright, Rin. You are indeed my ideal Master. There is no one else I could hope to serve."



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    Talking New Chapter!

    Hi, I’m baaaack! New chapter with promised summary. Here goes.
    __________________
    Shippings: Advanceshipping (duh), some Ikarishipping, tiny bits of Egoshipping, and SageAdviceshipping (BrockxCheryl ).

    Important Characters this chapter:
    Ash Ketchum (Eon Duford), age 28

    May Maple, age 26

    Max Maple, age 21

    Drew Blackthorn, age 26 (eww, Drew XP) (kind of minor in this chapter)

    Disclaimer: I (sadly) don’t own Pokemon. If I did, the series would be amazing, but oh well :P
    __________________
    Ch. 1: Five Fateful Minutes


    “All right Ladies and Gentlemen, the Rustboro City Pokemon contest second stage will now begin!” announced MC Vivian. “So here are our contestants!

    On this side, The Princess of Hoenn, May Maple!” The whole audience erupted into cheers as May walked out on stage. She wore and outfit similar to the one she had worn at the Wallace Cup many years prior. A red and gold top with a heart pattern that left her midriff showing and a long white dress that hit her around the ankles. She also had on a pair of red, high-heeled sandals, and a long white headdress and a gold tiara with a red gem as the centerpiece. She stood completely at ease, all too used to the pressure of a contest.

    “And on this side, we have the skilled newcomer, Eon Duford!” announced the MC. May looked out across the stage to see her opponent. He wore a simple black suit and grey vest, with a white tie that tucked into the vest, along with white gloves and black dress shoes. He seemed impassive, almost aloof to her, ignoring the moderate applause he received from the crowd. His eyes met Mays and he smiled, then nodded to her in acknowledgement of a skilled opponent. May smiled back, anticipating a good battle.

    “We’ve got five minutes on the clock,” announced Vivian. “Let’s go!”

    “Glaceon, on stage!” cried May as she sent out the catlike blue ice type. Glaceon appeared in a shower of red confetti, then somersaulted to land on the rocky stage.

    “Eevee, shining strike!” shouted Duford as he released a small foxlike Pokemon in a burst of silver light. Most Eevee were brown, but this one had a silvery-gray coat with a white mane.

    ‘It’s a shiny Eevee,’ realized May, as Vivian announced it to the audience. ‘But it makes no difference. Glaceon is evolved from Eevee, so I have the advantage.’

    “Glaceon, use Water Pulse!” commanded May.

    Glaceon built up a blue orb of water and then slammed it into the stage, generating a tidal wave towards Eevee.

    “Dodge it with Dig, then use Sand Attack!” countered Duford.
    Eevee burrowed under the wave, then came up under Glaceon and kicked a burst of sand in her face.

    “Glaace!” she screeched, as the sand got in her eyes and blinded her.

    “Fire Water Pulse at the ceiling!” cried May.

    Glaceon launched another water orb at the ceiling, which exploded and sprayed water everywhere. Some of this water fell on Glaceon, cleaning her eyes of the sand.

    “Great, now Ice beam on the field,” May ordered. Glaceon fired a cold blue beam at the wet ground, freezing it and covering the whole field in ice.

    Duford smirked. “Just like we practiced, Eevee. Use Quick Attack to maneuver!”

    Eevee shot forward, then kicked off the ice to come up behind Glaceon.
    “Now use Shadow Ball!”

    Eevee charged up a black ball of energy then swung it at Glaceon.
    May caught this and reacted. “Doge it!” she cried.

    Glaceon slid to the right, just missing the Shadow Ball as it streaked past her. Duford’s points dropped, but he smirked again. “Bad move, Maple.”

    May jumped in surprise, then noticed that the Shadow Ball had hit one of the ice pillars, which was now toppling towards Glaceon. “Look out!” she cried, too late. The pillar smashed into Glaceon’s side, throwing her across the field.

    “Perfect, Eevee,” commented Duford, “use Quick Attack again, and keep it up.”

    Eevee skated gracefully across the icy stage, kicking off of the ice to change direction and hit Glaceon repeatedly, causing its evolved form to screech in pain.

    ‘This is Ash’s technique,’ she realized, ‘he used to have Pikachu use this tactic all the time in his second Hoenn Conference challenge. But he can’t be Ash, can he?’ Thoughts of her lost companion drew a pang of sorrow from her heart. She shook her head, ‘No, I have to stay focused and win this thing. Like he would have done.’

    May glanced at the scoreboard. She had lost over half of her points while Duford still had most of his, with just thirty seconds left on the clock. ‘I can’t make a comeback at this point,’ she realized, ‘my only hope is to knock out his Eevee with one big move.’ “Glaceon, use Iron Tail on the field!”
    Glaceon nodded to her, then jumped in the air with her tail glowing white.

    She slammed it down onto the field, shattering the ice and throwing large chunks into the air.

    Duford tensed up, realizing what she was planning. “Eevee, get moving!” he shouted desperately.

    “Don’t give it the chance, Glaceon,” commanded May, “Blizzard!”

    “Glaaaae…CHEON!” she growled, firing a massive storm of ice that flash froze the field and threw the airborne ice chunks across the stage. Duford ducked down to avoid the attack, then stood after it had passed. He smiled, not a smirk, but a smile that said “Victory is mine”.

    “Eevee, Shadow Ball,” he called to the ceiling.

    May’s head snapped up, and she caught sight of Eevee high above the stage, ready to fire. “Glaceon, use your Shadow Ball to counter,” she called, knowing it was over.

    The two Shadow Balls collided in an explosion and Eevee dropped through the smoke and landed gracefully in front of Duford.

    “Times Up!” announced Vivian. “And so the winners of this first battle…are Eon Duford and his Eevee!”

    Duford and Eevee’s pictures flashed on the screen, announcing his victory to anyone who hadn’t heard the loudmouth MC.

    May shook her head in disbelief, belatedly realizing that Eevee had used the ice chunks to jump above the Blizzard with Quick Attack. It was another of Ash’s moves, used in his gym battle against Juan over a decade ago. She walked over to Glaceon and knelt down next to her. “Come on Glaceon, you gave it your best shot.” Glaceon accepted the praise and gave May a friendly lick to show her gratitude as May returned her to her Pokeball.

    “Great battle Ms. Maple,” said Duford, as he walked over with his Eevee on his shoulder.

    May nodded. “Thanks, but now that you beat me you can’t lose,” she teased.

    Duford laughed, then looked at her with his reddish brown eyes. “I can’t lose, eh? I’ll try my best,” he replied as he held out his hand. She shook it then walked off the field.

    She ignored the reporters, and went straight to her changing room. She
    started to change, while her mind was focused elsewhere. She couldn’t shake the feeling she had, about how similar Duford was to Ash. His messy black hair, his tall stocky build, his deep voice, and their battling styles were all but identical.

    ‘That can’t be right, though. His eyes are the wrong color, and he doesn’t have Pikachu. He’d never compete without Pikachu, they were always inseparable,’ she thought. ‘Plus, we all thought Ash was dead. He’d never leave us for this long without any contact, at least not without telling us.’

    She had been the last to accept the fact that he was gone. Ash couldn’t be gone; she had seen him pull through countless situations without so much as a scratch. He was her mentor, her closest friend, her longtime crush. Even when she had been with Drew, she still loved him. She shuddered as the thought of Drew crossed her mind. After what he had done to her… No, she wouldn’t go there. She refused to relive those memories she had locked away in her mind. She stood up, now in her normal outfit, and walked out into the hall way to the co-ordinaters waiting room. She glanced up at the TV, noticing that it was Duford against Drew, with less than one minute left on the clock.
    ***
    Duford knew Eevee couldn’t keep this up much longer. Drew’s Absol was too strong, and he was completely ruthless, holding nothing back. ‘Fine,’ he thought, ‘time for the Last Gambit.’ “Eevee, Quick Attack into Sand Attack, full blast!”

    Eevee shot forward and raced in tightening circles around Absol, kicking up sand all the while. The sand got sucked into the vortex from the Quick Attack, creating a tornado of sand that caught Absol and lifted it into the air.

    “Great, now Swift!” Duford called.

    “Razor Wind then Iron Tail,” commanded Drew, almost sounding bored.
    The twister was torn apart by at least three Razor Winds, then Absol somersaulted forward and smacked Eevee with its glowing tail, flinging her into Duford’s arms.

    “And time is up! So the winner of this battle is… Drew Blackthorn and his Absol!” called the MC.

    “Eve…” cried Eevee. Duford looked down at her and smiled, “It’s ok, Eevee. Everyone loses occasionally; you just have to work harder the next time. You were excellent for your first real Contest.”

    He looked up to congratulate his opponent, but Drew was already gone. He shrugged and walked back to his room.

    ***
    May stared in shock at the TV screen. Duford had outclassed even her, and Drew had annihilated him. But that wasn’t the biggest shock, no not at all. ‘He has to be Ash, that was one of Ash’s favorite moves to use with Pikachu. The moves are slightly different to compensate for Eevee, but the principle is the same,’ she thought to herself. She looked to her right and spotted Duford, with Eevee on his shoulder, leaving the contest hall. ‘I’m going to follow him and ask,’ she decided. ‘If he’s not Ash, then I look like an idiot for two seconds and life goes on.’

    She followed him out of the building and saw him enter the restaurant across the street. She walked in and saw him seated at one of the tables. She walked over to him, then tapped his shoulder to get his attention. “Hello, Mr. Duford,” she said, then gestured at the seat opposite him, “Do you mind if I sit here?”

    He smile pleasantly at her, but something about the smile seemed forced. “Ahh, Ms. Maple. No, no, go ahead.”
    She nodded and sat down as the waiter came over to the table.

    “Hello, can I take your ord- May Maple?!” he yelped, surprised to see such a celebrity.

    ‘Ugh, sometimes I hate being famous’ thought May, before she smiled and nodded to him. “Could you keep this quiet, please? I really don’t feel like being mobbed by fans right now,” she said sweetly.

    “Of- Of course,” said the shell shocked waiter. “Can I get you something, then?”

    “Hmmm… I’ll have the large Ramen, please,” she decided quickly. The waiter almost took off, but she poignantly asked Duford what he wanted.

    Duford smiled bemusedly, then made his order. “I’ll have a plate of your famous Torchicken wings, please. And can you bring a cup of ketchup for my Eevee?”

    May smirked again, he was proving her right. Pikachu had loved ketchup and eaten it at every opportunity.

    “Right away,” replied the waiter, streaking into the kitchen like his head was on fire.

    “You must have a lot of fans, May,” observed Duford, watching the waiter scurry away.

    May smirked; he hadn’t realized his Freudian slip. “Not as many as you used to, Ash,” she replied, emphasizing the name.

    His head snapped back, nearly knocking Eevee off his shoulder. He stared into her sapphire blue eyes for a few seconds, then covered his face with his hand. “How long have you known?” he asked.

    “Since I saw your battle with Drew,” she replied, her smugness turning slowly to another emotion, “Your battle style hasn’t changed one bit.”
    Ash chuckled to himself, lowering his hand, “I still can’t believe you figured it out. But I guess-“

    May held up a hand to stop him. There was something she had to do first. She leaned over, reached across the table and…

    SLAP.

    Ash’s head snapped backwards, throwing Eevee off his shoulder. A drop of blood fell from his split lip, and he stared at May in complete shock, totally unprepared for her strike.

    May shook with rage, panting, trying not to take her fork and stab him with it. “You… you… complete jerk!” she growled, “Why did you leave us? For SEVEN YEARS?! We thought you were dead! Even I thought you were dead! I don’t know if I’m happy to see you, or mad because you deceived us!” She started to sob, tears running down her face. She slunk back to her side of the table and cried into her napkin.

    Ash wiped the blood off his lip, and stared sadly at his friend. He felt a paw rub the side of his face and knew what Eevee was trying to tell him. He sighed tiredly, knowing there was no way around it. “May, you remember Opal, right?” he asked.

    She looked up, her face dry of tears. “Your friend form Orre? Yeah, we found out she had died shortly before you disappeared,” she replied, confused.

    “I know,” he said somberly, looking up into her eyes. “It was my fault. That’s why I left.”

    “What do you mean it was your fault? Did you kill her? You couldn’t have!” she gasped.

    Ash shook his head, “Not exactly, but If I hadn’t been a coward, she would be alive right now.” He shut his eyes and looked away, trying to block out the bad memories. “It was a Saturday afternoon when I got back to the two-room apartment we shared,” He looked back at May, “We were roommates, if you remember. There was a note on the door, in a handwriting I didn’t recognize. It said ‘we have your friend. If you ever want to see her alive, come down to the train station at four o’ clock. Come alone.’ By the time I got the note, it was already 3:45.” Ash shook his head sadly. “When I got there, the station was completely deserted. Somebody grabbed me from behind, and pricked me with a syringe. Pikachu Thunderbolted him, and it did nothing. He didn’t even seem to notice. Whatever they wanted from me they got it, so they left. I had no idea where Opal was so I went around the station screaming like an idiot. I heard her yell, so I ran to the other platform and there she was. She and her Eevee had been tied to what looked like a bomb, and the timer said ten seconds.” He almost choked on the last part. “Rather than take the risk of setting off the bomb, I grabbed Pikachu, and jumped off the platform. Two seconds later, the bomb exploded.” Ash started to sob, wiping the tears off his face.

    May looked startled when he finished, but her face quickly softened. “Ash… I understand why you left. I-,“ she faltered, ”I don’t blame you for leaving anymore.”

    “Really, May? Because you should blame me. I was, and still am, a rotten *******. Just because the person I loved died doesn’t mean I should have left my friends,” he muttered bitterly.

    Just then, the waiter came back. “Sorry for the delay, here you are,” he said setting the dishes down in front of his patrons.

    “Thank you,” said May curtly. He nodded, and went on his way.

    “I don’t really feel all that hungry,” said Ash, right as his stomach growled.

    May giggled, “Oh really. Who do you think you’re kidding, you’re always hungry.” Then her stomach growled, and she blushed.

    Ash smirked and raised his eyebrow as he picked up his chicken wing. “You’re one to talk. Let’s just eat, since we both haven’t changed a bit. Mind if I ask you something first, though?”

    May shook her head, “I don’t mind.”

    “What happened between you and Drew? And what happened to him? He was never so brutal when it came to battling.”

    May shivered, as dark memories tried to force their way to the surface. “Can we please not talk about him? I really, really don’t want to talk about him.”

    Ash could tell something was wrong, but he wasn’t going to push it. Not now. He shrugged, “Sure, I was just curious. Now come on let’s eat,” he said, hoping to take her mind off of it.

    They both dug into their meals, with Eevee lapping up the ketchup next to Ash. He chuckled, “Like father, like daughter.”

    “Pikachu is her father?” May asked, shocked. She’d always thought Pikachu would get together with Dawn’s Buneary or her own Glaceon.

    This jogged something in May’s memory, and an important question came to mind. “Hey Ash, can I ask you something?” questioned May cautiously.

    “Shoot,” said Ash through a mouthful of chicken.

    “What happened to Pikachu?”

    He stopped, then put down the bone he was holding and sighed. “Pikachu left me as soon as he saw what had happened, but not before zapping me and screaming at me. He’ll never come back.”

    “Don’t lose heart, Ash,” she advised, “Pikachu can’t hate you forever.”

    “If he hates me for another year or so, it’ll be too late,” said Ash sadly. “I have just over a year left to live, according to my doctor. My heart is failing, it won’t last much longer.”

    May stared in shock, torn between crying and taking action. She grabbed Ash’s hand. “If you’re going to die, then you are going to see your friends again. All of them. Starting with Max, he’s the closest.”

    “Ok, but how? Petalburg is at least a day’s run from here. And we have to cross through the Petalburg Woods just to get there,” he asked as he paid the bill.

    May motioned for Ash to follow her outside. She released a Gardevoir from a Pokeball. “We teleport.”

    Gardevoir began to shine with a white light and the world began to spin. The spinning got faster, then gradually slowed to a stop, and they were standing in front of the Petalburg Gym.

    “Max is the gym leader now, my mom and dad are on vacation,” explained May as she returned Gardevoir to her Pokeball. She then stepped forward and opened the doors to the Gym.

    “Max! It’s May!” she shouted. No one answered her. “Darn, he must be out in the back.” She walked to the back of the gym, Ash following after her while surveying the gym.

    Just as May reached the door, it opened. “Hey May, you’re home early.” said her brother, Max. “How’d the contest go? And who’s that?” he asked, gesturing at Ash.

    “Seven years, and only May can recognize me,” he chuckled. “Well, I guess that’s to be expected, seeing as everyone thought I was dead.”

    Max gasped, realizing who he was talking to. “ASH?! No Way! IsitreallyyouWhatHappenedWhere’ve youbeenWhere’sPikachuWhere’dyougetanEevee?” he babbled unintelligibly fast.

    May blinked, then turned to Ash, “Did you get that?”

    He laughed, “Not really, but I think I know what he was asking. Ok, where to begin.”

    RING, RING, RING! PHONECALL, PHONECALL!

    Max jumped, not expecting the phone to ring at that time. “I guess I better answer that.” He walked into the next room and answered the phone. He stuck his head back out the door after a few seconds. “May, it’s Dawn; she wants to talk to us both.”

    She glanced at Ash, then walked over to the phone. “Hi Dawn, what’s up?”

    Dawn looked frazzled, to put it mildly. “You aren’t gonna believe this. We found Pikachu!”
    __________________
    Dun, Dun, DUN! CLIFFHANGER! I am so evil Read and Review!
    "I'm fighting because there's a battle to be fought, Archer. I'm fighting to win. That's all."
    "Hm. Alright, Rin. You are indeed my ideal Master. There is no one else I could hope to serve."



  10. #10
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    GYESS!!! I BEAT THE REVIEW RUSH!!! GAHAHA!!!

    Awesome! Sorry about the above spaz attack, I just wanted to beat the rush to review! :P Holy cow! I thought the prologue might have been a little too mysterious for my taste, but it worked out very, very well!

    However, I do remember another fic set in Orre that was also Advanceshipping. I can't remember the name right now but this one really reminds me of it. By the way, did you get the name "Opal" from Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception? That's the only place I can think of that has ever used that name.

    Your battle descriptions are very, very well done! I've got to hand it to you, I saw the battle unfold as if this was the Anime, projected to me in full color! Awesome job and keep it up!

    Yeah, I don't think anyone on this thread has any good feelings for Drew whatsoever. I'm just glad that anguish didn't spill out into this fic thus far. I can't wait to find out what May's trauma is after all...and for that matter Ash's full stories. I'm a little ticked that you did away with Pikachu and you put Ash on a death sentence, but it's YOUR story and YOUR mind in words, so do your worst!

    On a lighter note, I've got to say May's slap was hilarious! I would've liked May to have some more second guesses and doubts but the dialogue fit in very nicely. Also, I noticed that Guardivoir's teleport was very similar to J.K. Rowling's vision of Apparation...did you happen to draw ideas from that? :P

    Poor PIKACHU!!! Every time I read the last lines I think "How are they EVER going to get together again!?!?" Uh...get back to writting! NAUGH!!!:P

    As you can probably tell, awesome work! Keep it up, and my hopes are high for this fic! *Adds subscription immediately after posting...*

    -lunarshadow
    Last edited by lunarshadow; 2nd August 2009 at 6:54 PM. Reason: GYESS!!!
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    Holy... Miltank... Wow, I really didn't expect such high praise. Thanks lunarshadow, it's a big confidence booster. And now: The Questions.
    Quote Originally Posted by lunarshadow View Post
    GYESS!!! I BEAT THE REVIEW RUSH!!! GAHAHA!!!
    Win XD

    Awesome! Sorry about the above spaz attack, I just wanted to beat the rush to review! :P Holy cow! I thought the prologue might have been a little too mysterious for my taste, but it worked out very, very well!
    I'm plesantly suprised you think so. I'm glad you thought it worked, I was spazzing about it for a while.

    However, I do remember another fic set in Orre that was also Advanceshipping. I can't remember the name right now but this one really reminds me of it. By the way, did you get the name "Opal" from Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception? That's the only place I can think of that has ever used that name.
    Well, I've never heard of it, but it sounds interesting. Acctually, my fic will mostly be set in Sinnoh, not Orre, and they are currently in Hoenn.
    You got it in one, I got the idea for the name from the character in Artemis Fowl, while reading The Arctic Incident.

    Your battle descriptions are very, very well done! I've got to hand it to you, I saw the battle unfold as if this was the Anime, projected to me in full color! Awesome job and keep it up!
    Battle descriptions have always been a strong point for me, since I don't have to overload on the description. Thanks for the compliment!

    Yeah, I don't think anyone on this thread has any good feelings for Drew whatsoever. I'm just glad that anguish didn't spill out into this fic thus far. I can't wait to find out what May's trauma is after all...and for that matter Ash's full stories. I'm a little ticked that you did away with Pikachu and you put Ash on a death sentence, but it's YOUR story and YOUR mind in words, so do your worst!
    No advanceshipper really likes Drew. He's an arrogant, overbearing loser. He's not even that good at contests.
    Yeah, I'm saving the angst for next chapter.     Spoiler:- Plot Spoiler of Doom! Read at Your Own Risk!:
    Pikachu just came back to Dawn's place, and Ash still has a year. It ups the drama and will be used as a plot device.
    Are you sure you want my worst? MWAHAHAHAHA! meh.

    On a lighter note, I've got to say May's slap was hilarious! I would've liked May to have some more second guesses and doubts but the dialogue fit in very nicely. Also, I noticed that Guardivoir's teleport was very similar to J.K. Rowling's vision of Apparation...did you happen to draw ideas from that? :P
    Liked that, did ya I was hoping for that, albeit a serious kind of funny (wait, what? Serious kind of funny?). I was trying to keep their personalities intact, but I should have made May more indecisive.
    Once again, you intuition is spot on. I got the idea while watching Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Plus, it's just how I imagine teleportation to be.

    Poor PIKACHU!!! Every time I read the last lines I think "How are they EVER going to get together again!?!?" Uh...get back to writting! NAUGH!!!:P
    Ugh, I've gotta admit even I'M stuck on this one. Suggestions? They would be much appreciated (in a PM or VM).

    As you can probably tell, awesome work! Keep it up, and my hopes are high for this fic! *Adds subscription immediately after posting...*

    -lunarshadow
    Thanks lunarshadow, just don't forget to write YOUR fic, b/c I have high hopes for it, too.
    Last edited by Eon Master; 14th August 2009 at 11:32 PM.
    "I'm fighting because there's a battle to be fought, Archer. I'm fighting to win. That's all."
    "Hm. Alright, Rin. You are indeed my ideal Master. There is no one else I could hope to serve."



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    Yay, another good review!
    Somebody who acctually likes cliffhangers? I didn't think that was possible.
    May slapped Ash, will that ever get old? Never.
    Liked, b/c she's dead
    Gladly, I'm happy you like my work!
    "I'm fighting because there's a battle to be fought, Archer. I'm fighting to win. That's all."
    "Hm. Alright, Rin. You are indeed my ideal Master. There is no one else I could hope to serve."



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    - burts out laughing -
    SHE SLAPPED HIM????!!!!
    ( thinks: hey I did that in mine too XD )
    ah.. never gets old.
    May smirked; he hadn’t realized his Freudian slip. “Not as many as you used to, Ash,” she replied, emphasizing the name.

    His head snapped back, nearly knocking Eevee off his shoulder. He stared into her sapphire blue eyes for a few seconds, then covered his face with his hand. “How long have you known?” he asked.
    Ah ha! poor Ash, he dosen't do great with disgues dose he?
    okay, I admit, this is going along really great, the cliff hanger too. ( OH WHY!!!! XD )

    I can't wait for the next chappie, and I am one of your fans now!
    - waves flag -
    go team! XD
    (Image by PD+)Click below to see my fic!! ( Advance with a hint off Pokeshipping!!! )
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    Wow!another great story coming along and i didnt even read it till now.
    Ok review time!!!
    This story is great.
    The way how you write the battle description is really great.It really felt like the way in the anime.It was a Awesome job!!! Really described it well.
    May slapped Ash!!!hahaha that was so funny.Like Lunar said,i also wouldve liked May to have some doubt or secound guesses.Ash never goes along with disguises!!Poor Ash
    Ash beat May and lost to Drew!!!O.o Hah.That was Unexpected.I wouldve liked for Ash to beat Drew but its your story.
    Aww Man!!!Pikachu left Ash?!?!?!Wow,Hope they back together!!!
    I really like a good cliffhanger!!!
    Newayzz..Keep writing.Cant wait at all!!
    This is going to be great From my point of view.
    Till Next time!!

    C.BZK Out
    Last edited by CyberBlaziken; 3rd August 2009 at 10:56 AM.

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    Well I decided to reivew this after all.Excscuse any mistakes,my cant wouldnt stop jumping on my lap when typeing this.-_- Stupid dave
    On topic:Mayjor de-ja vu from the slap,poor ash.Maybe itll knock some sense to him.
    NOOO WHY MUST YOU HAVE A CLIFFHANGER!DONT MAKE ME SLAP YOU!
    Thatll have to do my cat wont stop trying to get me to get him to get more food -_-
    I guess I'm looking forward to more!
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    RAWRRR! GIANT CRITIQUE REVIEW OF DOOM!
    Quote Originally Posted by XxMays_flowerxX View Post
    - burts out laughing -
    SHE SLAPPED HIM????!!!!
    ( thinks: hey I did that in mine too XD )
    ah.. never gets old.
    Yeah, I remember that. *laughs* You're right, Ash getting slapped is always funny.

    Ah ha! poor Ash, he dosen't do great with disgues dose he?
    okay, I admit, this is going along really great, the cliff hanger too. ( OH WHY!!!! XD )
    Ash would make a terrible secret agent, he can't disguise himself for crap. Although it seemed to fool Drew... (eww, Drew XP )

    I can't wait for the next chappie, and I am one of your fans now!
    - waves flag -
    go team! XD
    ZOMG! I have fans!
    Go team! *Waves giant foam finger*

    Quote Originally Posted by CyberBlaziken View Post
    Wow!another great story coming along and i didnt even read it till now.
    I'm really glad for all the encouragement you guys (and girls) give me. It really helps with my confidence, especially after my first failed attempt at a fanfic. It wasn't nearly as good as this one.

    Ok review time!!!
    This story is great.
    The way how you write the battle description is really great.It really felt like the way in the anime.It was a Awesome job!!! Really described it well.
    I really like watching the anime, so I've seen tons of battles. It makes it easy to describe them.

    May slapped Ash!!!hahaha that was so funny.
    Ahh, the joys of Ash getting slapped never end.

    Like Lunar said,i also wouldve liked May to have some doubt or secound guesses.
    Sorry about that, I'm usually a pretty deciesive person, so I find it difficult to write about doubts.

    Ash never goes along with disguises!!Poor Ash
    Ash would never make it as James Bond.

    Ash beat May and lost to Drew!!!O.o Hah.That was Unexpected.I wouldve liked for Ash to beat Drew but its your story.
    I didn't want Ash to lose to the green haired evil gremlin, but I had to get him out of the contest in a reasonable ammount of time so he could talk to May. Maybe there will be a chance for some payback later on. He only beat May b/c he knew her tactics, and turned her moves against her.

    Aww Man!!!Pikachu left Ash?!?!?!Wow,Hope they back together!!!
    I really don't like doing that, but I wanted to add drama to the story, and make Ash into a loner type person. Hopefully they will patch things up, but it aint gonna be simple, that's for sure.

    I really like a good cliffhanger!!!
    You like cliffhangers?! Wow, you and Waterpokes are the only ones who have ever said that. Most people hate them. Now I have a new challenge, to make a cliffhanger even you will hate, heh heh heh.

    Newayzz..Keep writing.Cant wait at all!!
    This is going to be great From my point of view.
    Till Next time!!

    C.BZK Out
    I'm sorry to say that you may have to wait a bit between chapters. I have band camp this whole month, so my computer access is kinda limited.

    Quote Originally Posted by BlazeFusion76 View Post
    Well I decided to reivew this after all.Excscuse any mistakes,my cant wouldnt stop jumping on my lap when typeing this.-_- Stupid dave
    Yer mestakis r xcuesd, mi dogd iss barkeng im ny eer 2 taek hem fer a wallk.
    Stupid Charles. T_T

    On topic:Mayjor de-ja vu from the slap,poor ash.Maybe itll knock some sense to him.
    Everyone seems to love the slaping of Ash. Why? I'm going to put a poll on this thread to see how many people thought it was funny.
    He's more mature, but still dense as hell.

    NOOO WHY MUST YOU HAVE A CLIFFHANGER!DONT MAKE ME SLAP YOU!
    NOOO, DON'T SLAP ME, I'LL FALL OFF MY OWN CLIFFHANGER!!! :P

    Thatll have to do my cat wont stop trying to get me to get him to get more food -_-
    I guess I'm looking forward to more!
    I sympathize, I've got to walk my dog, or he'll pee on the carpet. XP
    You do that, I'll get back to work.
    "I'm fighting because there's a battle to be fought, Archer. I'm fighting to win. That's all."
    "Hm. Alright, Rin. You are indeed my ideal Master. There is no one else I could hope to serve."



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    Angry

    [QUOTE=Eon Master;10186923]Everyone seems to love the slaping of Ash. Why? I'm going to put a poll on this thread to see how many people thought it was funny.
    He's more mature, but still dense as hell.[QUOTE]

    Yeah thats what I meant.God damnit,why couldnt you make him OOC >.<
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    ^I don't do extra, extra fluffy. It's not really my style. Besides, there's more comedy at my disposal if he's still dense. And I find comedy really difficult, so I need all the help I can get.

    Anyway, since you'll be waiting for my chapter for a few more days, I thought I'd give you some spoilers to mull over while you wait. Here you go:


        Spoiler:- Spoiler #1:


        Spoiler:- Spoiler#2:


        Spoiler:- Spoiler #3:


    Enjoy, and comment if you want.
    "I'm fighting because there's a battle to be fought, Archer. I'm fighting to win. That's all."
    "Hm. Alright, Rin. You are indeed my ideal Master. There is no one else I could hope to serve."



  19. #19
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    Oooo new story and me likey ^^ but not anymore because you put a cliffhanger!! Grrrr...Kidding Kidding. Anyways, on with the review that I typed terribly -_-;

    Your story kinda reminds me of After Hoenn. (I think thats what lunarshadow was talking about) I'm unsure if you read it or not, its a great story.
    Anyways, poor Ash. He blames himself a lot, doesn't he? Also, Ash+Minor Violence=XDDDD Classic. Hmm May has a Gardevior? Awesome!

    May and Shoe Guy!!!(purposly mispells it) I wanna know what that meanie did to our little May but of course I'll have to wait.

    Battle scene was beautiful!! I could picture it perfectly in my head yay!!

    Small thing to point out. Heh Torchicken nuggets I like that. Wonder WHAT they eat in Pokemon o.O

    Spoiler #1(can't put spoiler tag, Stupid dsi): Am I sensing Ikarishipping? *looks at summary* Oh....*face palm(i think thats what its called)* duh.

    Spoiler #2: Why are they going there I wonder?

    Spoiler #3: Yay a battle between people who I can't say in case someone reads this who doesn't read spoilers!! Maybe Ash might use Pika- oh wait that's right he doesn't have him -.-

    Sorry about my rambling, I'll make a better review next chapter. Can't wait!!
    Last edited by advance4ev; 5th August 2009 at 4:02 PM.

  20. #20
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    YEAH! Max and ash battle!
    O.o hmm... I wonder who Dawn is parred up with!!! >.<
    and again...

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Poor ash gets slaped XD

        Spoiler:- A part of my future sic chappies: ( it reminds me of him getting slapped ):
    (Image by PD+)Click below to see my fic!! ( Advance with a hint off Pokeshipping!!! )
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...0#post10007400

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    ^I don't do extra, extra fluffy
    Wth is fluffy o.o
    Pokemon pearl freind code: 4511-7516-4862

    Check out XxMays_FlowerxX's AMAZING story (in progress!)
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  22. #22
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    Fluffy is OOC, trying to make a character more, how should I put this, "romantic" so as to make writing shipping easier. I like the challenge of writing the characters the way they are, it also makes it easier to visualize.
    "I'm fighting because there's a battle to be fought, Archer. I'm fighting to win. That's all."
    "Hm. Alright, Rin. You are indeed my ideal Master. There is no one else I could hope to serve."



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    ....I likes fluffy den.Your not going to get anywhere with ash if hes not OOC.You have doomed us eon,YOU HAVE BROUGHT DOOM TO US ALL!
    Pokemon pearl freind code: 4511-7516-4862

    Check out XxMays_FlowerxX's AMAZING story (in progress!)
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    Not necessarily, check out Destiny Bond 1 and 2 by EarthBorn. Ash is dense, yet he still has his moments, and it's a great story. I know I can pull this off, I don't suck that badly at writing that I need to screw with my character's personalities.
    "I'm fighting because there's a battle to be fought, Archer. I'm fighting to win. That's all."
    "Hm. Alright, Rin. You are indeed my ideal Master. There is no one else I could hope to serve."



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    Read it before....blurgh,very little shipping at all.
    I just prefer fluffy *shrugs* It gives me more of a buzz
    Pokemon pearl freind code: 4511-7516-4862

    Check out XxMays_FlowerxX's AMAZING story (in progress!)
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=404677
    And her SUPER-COOL-AWESOME oneshot!!
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=403481

    Advance4ev is my best bud! ^^

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