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Thread: The Adventure of Adventureness

  1. #276
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    2: In R/B/Y/FR/LG, your next rival battle takes place here.
    Hm, running gag, anyone? If Cheeseball's hair gets another sludge makeover, then I have some suggestions. Since Cheeseball is going to try to stop jack from using wheezing, then, (a Jack grabs the wrong pokeball and sends out wheezing, who promptly uses sludge on his hair, or (b wheezing bursts out of his pokeball just to use sludge on his hair.

  2. #277
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    Quote Originally Posted by UltimatePokemonExpert View Post
    Man, Missingo. Master you never dissapoint! Will you be keeping Roy as a character? I think he's ok. Hey, are you doing anything special for Thanksgiving or Christmas?
    Roy will definitely be sticking around, don't worry. And I do intend to do something for Christmas. Maybe not Thanksgiving, but definitely Christmas.

    Quote Originally Posted by ilovedragonites View Post
    Wow, this is just indescribably cool of coolness, great of greatness, awesome of awesomness, epic of epicness, and funny of funnyness! This fanfic is the best one in the history of fanfics!
    Thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Resident evil View Post
    Hm, running gag, anyone? If Cheeseball's hair gets another sludge makeover, then I have some suggestions. Since Cheeseball is going to try to stop jack from using wheezing, then, (a Jack grabs the wrong pokeball and sends out wheezing, who promptly uses sludge on his hair, or (b wheezing bursts out of his pokeball just to use sludge on his hair.
    I'm in the process of writing up the next chapter, and rest assured, I do use one of those two options. I won't say which one, but the one I didn't pick will appear in a future chapter.

    The next chapter will definitely be up within the week. I can't promise anything more specific than that, I'm afraid. Believe me, I love writing this stuff just as much as you love reading it, so of course I'm gonna try to get it up as soon as possible.

    I HAVE CLAIMED WEEZING. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY.
    The Hoenn of Hoenness- Chapter 5 up now!
    404 Error 2: File Not Found- Chapter 12 up now!
    Author profile

    Banner done by me. I do not do requests. The Shinies are not up for trade.

    Fizzy Bubbles info

  3. #278
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    Dude, they need to make these stories into a movie, or better yet, a tv series!
    † I am a Christian and proud of it! Copy and paste this if you are too.†



    Christianity is a Relationship with our true God, Jesus. It's not a Religion. Copy and paste If you agree

    Registeel is mine, yay!

    Adventure of Adventureness & Awesome of Awesomeness: Smashing the 4th wall into gazillion pieces since 2010. - Sig too long, so Mod a cropped it

  4. #279
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missingno. Master
    I'm in the process of writing up the next chapter, and rest assured, I do use one of those two options. I won't say which one, but the one I didn't pick will appear in a future chapter.
    *Stares intently at the screen, spamming the refresh button*

  5. #280
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    WOW...ive read this entire story in 4 days and i LOVE it...some1 said at the very beginning that this could become the family guy of the fanfic area...well i think it is I used to hate poison types, but with this fic i gotta say when I get BW ima get a weezing... Keep it up!
    May I please be added to the PM list?
    Also...what with that 10 month break you took, shouldnt we be celebrating jacks birthday sometime soon?(and other characters too)



  6. #281
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    How odd. I remember reading these chapters, but it looks like I forgot to review Maybe it was late at night...

        Spoiler:- highlights:


    Overall, pretty awesome... O-(DON'T. SAY IT.) of awesomeness GODDAMMIT.

    One thing I would really like to see is a parody of competitive battling. It would be funny if there was a trainer with a comp. battling team, with Stealth Rocks, Substitutes, EVs, IVs, EVERYTHING, who battles Jack. Your choice on who wins. Just make it an epic battle
    Thanks for the PM(s)!!!!!!
    Ugh, I give up. Completing the Pokedex is too hard. And now there's over a 150 more Pokemon for Generation V? No way.
    Futachimaru and Steven Stone are my bishies!! <3

  7. #282
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    Dude, I have 2 awesome ideas. The way you write, I'm sure you can make it funny...

    1) Somehow, Jack gets rickrolled.
    or,
    2) Jack is tortured by an evil character. How you ask? With Justin Beiber music!!!!!!'

    That would be hilarious. I know they are dumb ideas. But please put up the next chapter soon!
    † I am a Christian and proud of it! Copy and paste this if you are too.†



    Christianity is a Relationship with our true God, Jesus. It's not a Religion. Copy and paste If you agree

    Registeel is mine, yay!

    Adventure of Adventureness & Awesome of Awesomeness: Smashing the 4th wall into gazillion pieces since 2010. - Sig too long, so Mod a cropped it

  8. #283
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resident evil View Post
    *Stares intently at the screen, spamming the refresh button*
    Easy, easy.

    Quote Originally Posted by dAlki_Jing View Post
    Annoys the hell out of me too. Thank goodness for Pidgeottos
    Arena Trap is the annoying of annoyingness.

    Quote Originally Posted by dAlki_Jing View Post
    That's actually the best explanations I've ever heard! After all, there must be a REASON its nose is so clown-y.
    I've always thought it either does that or the body it has underground looks like a Machoke's body, but brown and with really sharp claws.

    Quote Originally Posted by dAlki_Jing View Post
    Weezing's so badass! He doesn't even need words to express his badassery
    I've often thought so.

    Quote Originally Posted by dAlki_Jing View Post
    That was an awesome half-chappie. I don't think it was really that short, though.
    It was shorter than what I usually turn out, and I really did it to make up for the short of shortness that was the first half.


    Quote Originally Posted by dAlki_Jing View Post
    what. I thought the Pokedex suddenly got really good x-ray vision or something!
    No, Jack usually carries the Pokédex in his hand, though he does pocket it on occasion.


    Quote Originally Posted by dAlki_Jing View Post
    The Awesome of Awesomeness: Forever Solving Those Really Weird Things In Pokemon That No One Can Figure Out. FSTRWTIPTNOCFO.
    QFT.


    Quote Originally Posted by dAlki_Jing View Post
    I don't think there's any ten-year-old who has Jack's muscles.
    I think you might be right.


    Quote Originally Posted by dAlki_Jing View Post
    I always wondered why they don't do that in-game.
    JING sent out RAYQUAZA!
    BUG CATCHER JOEY ran away!
    ...Seriously, why not?
    The games barely acknowledge the presence of legendaries on your team. In HG/SS, you talk to people with a freakin' Groudon or something following you, you'd think they'd say something.


    Quote Originally Posted by dAlki_Jing View Post
    The fourth wall..... We knew thee well, brave comrade.
    The fourth wall's been dead ever since the first chapter of The Adventure of Adventureness.

    Quote Originally Posted by dAlki_Jing View Post
    Like I said, Jack. THE REGION IS INSAAAAANEEEEEEEE.
    Indeed it is.

    Quote Originally Posted by dAlki_Jing View Post
    Where does Jack watch TV? His Pokedex? Or maybe the UFCC has one...
    He watched a lot of episodes of Pokémon in the UFCC.

    Quote Originally Posted by dAlki_Jing View Post
    Overall, pretty awesome... O-(DON'T. SAY IT.) of awesomeness GODDAMMIT.
    Don't fight it.

    Quote Originally Posted by dAlki_Jing View Post
    One thing I would really like to see is a parody of competitive battling. It would be funny if there was a trainer with a comp. battling team, with Stealth Rocks, Substitutes, EVs, IVs, EVERYTHING, who battles Jack. Your choice on who wins. Just make it an epic battle
    Thanks for the PM(s)!!!!!!
    It's not a bad idea, I might do something with that.

    Quote Originally Posted by stickguy View Post
    WOW...ive read this entire story in 4 days and i LOVE it...
    Glad to hear it.

    Quote Originally Posted by stickguy View Post
    some1 said at the very beginning that this could become the family guy of the fanfic area...well i think it is
    Thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by stickguy View Post
    I used to hate poison types, but with this fic i gotta say when I get BW ima get a weezing... Keep it up!
    So you used to hate Poison-types, then you read this story, and now you're going to get a Weezing? Wow, maybe I should have my brother read this story.

    Quote Originally Posted by stickguy View Post
    May I please be added to the PM list?
    Not a problem.

    Quote Originally Posted by stickguy View Post
    Also...what with that 10 month break you took, shouldnt we be celebrating jacks birthday sometime soon?(and other characters too)
    Didn't even think of that. You got a good point there, although it probably won't be until Jack gets back into the internet, what with the time being all weird between Kanto and the internet.

    And without further ado, Chapter 19!

    Chapter 19: Grave Danger
    --------------------
    Not far from Rock Tunnel's southernmost exit lay a small town. Well, "small" wasn't actually what Jack would have used to describe the town. He would've said something more along the lines of-

    "..downright depressing," said Jack, cutting across his Pokédex's narration.

    "Jack!" groaned the Pokédex. "You just cut across my narration!"

    "I'm with Jack, though," said Roy, looking around. "This place ain't exactly pleasing to the eye."

    Jack and Roy looked around the town. Plain, cracking pavement beneath their feet, a small number of houses, all with peeling paint, around them. Even the Pokémon Center needed new paint. Jack and Roy pushed open the double doors of the Pokémon Center, only to be met with an awful creaking sound.

    "We really need to get those hinges oiled," muttered the Nurse Joy as the two trainers approached the counter. "Can I help you?"

    "Yeah," said Jack, "We'd like to get our Pokémon healed up, please."

    "Oh, dear," said Nurse Joy. "Have you just come from Pokémon Tower?"

    "No," said Roy. "We just arrived in town, we went through Rock Tunnel. Why? What's wrong with Pokémon Tower?"

    "Nothing, nothing," said Nurse Joy, a tad too quickly.

    "Nothing?" repeated Jack. "Usually when people say 'nothing' like that, it's something."

    "Oh, all right," sighed Nurse Joy, lowering her voice a bit. "I've heard rumors that ghosts have appeared in the tower. Not only that, a bunch of men from Team Rocket showed up in town to steal the tower's population of Cubone!"

    "Cubone?" asked Jack. In response, Jack's Pokédex piped up.

    "Cubone, the Lonely Pokémon. According to legend, it wears the skull of its deceased mother on its head. It uses a bone as a weapon." On the Pokédex's screen, Jack saw a small, brown creature. It stood on two feet and held a bone in its right hand. Over its head was placed a skull.

    "A Pokémon that uses bones as weapons? That's a new one on me," commented Jack.

    "And Jack, for future reference, Cubone is a Ground-type, so don't even try."

    "Oh, shut up," snapped Jack.

    "What was that about?" asked Roy.

    Jack rolled his eyes. "There was an incident in Diglett's Cave. I told my Weezing to use Thunderbolt on one of them. They don't exactly scream 'Ground-type', you know!"

    "They live underground," said Roy. "How does that not scream 'Ground-type'?"

    Jack opened his mouth to reply, but at that moment, Nurse Joy handed the trainers back their Pokémon, fully healed. They took back the Poké Balls and exited the center in silence, as Jack took the opportunity to switch up some of his team with Pokémon he had in PC storage.

    "So Jack, these Team Rocket goons, what should we do about them?" asked Roy.

    "Eh, I suppose we ought to stop them," said Jack. "But what would they even want with a bunch of Cubone?"

    "Money," came a voice from behind them. Jack jumped and wheeled around. Behind the two was a middle-aged man in a suit who Jack recognized as having been in the Pokémon Center a minute ago.

    "Pardon me?" said Roy, as he turned around.

    "That's right," continued the man. "Cubone skulls are worth a fortune on the black market, so naturally, Team Rocket would be only too eager to get their hands on them. As if that weren't bad enough, those damn Rockets went too far this time."

    "How so?" said Jack.

    The man sighed, then continued speaking. "One of the Cubone that they were after managed to escape the tower, because its mother Marowak held off the Team Rocket grunts trying to catch it. But the grunts weren't messing around, and they killed the Marowak.

    "Oh my Arceus," whispered Jack.

    "That's horrible!" exclaimed Roy.

    The man nodded gravely. "The Cubone made it out safely, though. The woman who lives in that house is looking after it." And he pointed at the nearest house. As the man walked away, Jack and Roy turned to look at the house. Although all the houses in Lavender Town were in desparate need of new paint, this one didn't seem too bad.

    Roy and Jack exchanged glances. "What do you say, Jack?" said Roy. "How about we see if we can do anything for that Cubone?"

    "Like what?" said Jack. "I somehow doubt we can bring its mother back to life."

    "Well, it's bound to be depressed," said Roy. "I just want to try to cheer it up a little."

    "Eh, it can't hurt," shrugged Jack. With that, the two made for the house. Roy knocked on the door, and they entered.

    It was a small, one-room house. In the middle of the room stood a small table, on which sat a Cubone. In a chair sat a woman, Jack guessed to be in her mid to late twenties. She had shoulder-length brown hair, and looked rather distraught.

    "Hi," she said to Jack and Roy. "This poor Cubone, its mother was murdered by Team Rocket!"

    "We heard," said Jack, in as compassionate a voice as he could muster. "We came to see if we could maybe cheer up Cubone at all."

    "I've just been trying to get it to stop crying," said the woman. "I doubt it's gonna cheer up for a while."

    "It's still worth a try," said Roy, stubbornly, as he sat down next to Cubone. "Hey there, Cubone, how ya doing?"

    "Cu.. cu... BOOOOONNNNE!" wailed Cubone in response. Tears dribbled down the sides of the skull on its head. Jack decided to try talking to Cubone.

    "Hey, Cubone," said Jack. "You miss your mother, don't you?" Cubone nodded in response, while sniveling.

    "Well," continued Jack, "I have an idea. Why not come with us? We're gonna try to get rid of those bad men that killed your mother. It's not going to bring her back, but the least we can do is get revenge for her."

    "Jack, I doubt that's gonna stop Cubone from-"

    At that point, however, Cubone stopped crying abruptly, stood up on the table, and waved the bone in its hand around wildly, while calling out, "Cu! Cubone bone!" in a noticeably happier tone.

    "...crying..." finished Roy meekly.

    "Is this the best idea?" asked the woman.

    "Don't worry," said Jack. "I've dealt with Team Rocket grunts before. They're morons. Trust me, my Pokémon are more than a match for those idiots."

    With that, Jack and Roy walked out of the house, with Cubone following them happily.

    "So, we're gonna try to boot a bunch of Team Rocket thugs out of Pokémon Tower?" said Roy, skeptically. "I have my doubts about this."

    "Relax," said Jack. "I already said, Team Rocket grunts are morons. The mere sight of Rayquaza should have them wetting themselves."

    Roy fell silent, although not completely convinced.

    Presently, the trio approached the massive, crumbling structure that could only be Pokémon Tower. Jack gulped, then led the way through the doorway.

    The ground floor was even more depressing than the town outside. The floor was littered with tiny tombstones, some of which had sobbing people in front of, laying flowers. As Jack approached a rickety flight of stairs, he saw a young woman nearby. She was dressed in strange, white clothing and had long, black hair.

    "I am a channeler," she said to Jack and Roy. "I can sense the spirits high up in the tower. They are up to no good!"

    "...Right..." said Jack. As he, Roy, and Cubone climbed the stairs, Jack turned to Roy and whispered, "She's obviously crazy."

    "I dunno, Jack," Roy whispered back. "I've heard rumors that this tower is haunted, and there are such things as Ghost-type Pokémon..."

    At that point, however, Jack reached the second floor and spotted off to the right a familiar figure. "Hey, Cheeseball!" called Jack.

    At the sound of Jack's voice, the figure turned around. Sure enough, Cheeseball Oak stood before Jack and Roy.

    "So this is Cheeseball," nodded Roy. "Name's Roy, I've heard of you."

    "My name's not Cheeseball," murmured Cheeseball, uncharacteristically quiet. "So... What brings you here, Jack? Your Pokémon dead or something?"

    "Not at all, they're all alive and kicking," replied Jack. Cheeseball then seemed to force a grin onto his face as he pulled out a Poké Ball.

    "I can at least make them faint, then!" he said, sounding a bit more like himself. And he threw the Poké Ball, unleashing Pidgeotto.

    "I'll make you eat those words," said Jack, throwing a Poké Ball of his own. "Let's go, Machoke!"

    In a flash of light, Jack's Machoke, mercifully re-belted, materialized in front of Pidgeotto.

    "Hah!" roared Cheeseball. "Big mistake, Jack! Pidgeotto, Gust!"

    "Machoke, Karate Chop!" called Jack.

    As Pidgeotto flapped its wings furiously, Machoke... yawned, and sat up against a tombstone apparently erected in memory of a Seviper who found out too late that picking a fight with eight Zangoose at once was an extremely bad idea.

    "Machoke, come on!" called Jack. "Do something!" In response, Machoke raised a hand and made an obscene gesture.

    "YOU LITTLE-!" roared Jack, as the swirling tornado made by Pidgeotto struck Machoke. The Superpower Pokémon was promptly thown into a wall. It slumped to the ground, clearly knocked out. Scowling, Jack recalled Machoke, and threw another Poké Ball. "Golbat, I choose you!" he called out. In a flash of light, Jack's Golbat appeared, flapping its wings, hovering in midair.

    "Pidgeotto, Quick Attack!" called Cheeseball. Instantly, Pidgeotto streaked forward with astounding speed. Before Jack could even open his mouth, however, Golbat imitated this action; it too streaked forward. The two Flying-types collided in midair, and bounced backwards. Roy then turned to Jack.

    "I think your Golbat just learned Quick Attack!" he exclaimed.

    "You might just be right," said Jack. "Golbat, Quick Attack once more!" he called. To his delight, Golbat zoomed forwards once more, colliding with Pidgeotto before Cheeseball could even give another order. Now Pidgeotto slumped to the ground in unconsciousness. Cheeseball withdrew Pidgeotto, then threw another ball.

    "Go, Growlithe!" exclaimed Cheeseball. In a flash of light, a quadrupedal Pokémon appeared. It sported a coat of orange fur with black stripes, and tufts of white fur stuck out in certain areas. It was wagging its tail rapidly. As it spotted Golbat, it barked loudly.

    "Growlithe, the Puppy Pokémon," said Jack's Pokédex. "Growlithe are extremely loyal to their trainers. It breathes intense flames from its mouth."

    "Golbat, Supersonic!" commanded Jack. Golbat unleashed from its large mouth a volley of soundwaves.

    "Dodge it and use Headbutt!" ordered Cheeseball. With amazing speed, Growlithe bounded out of the way of the soundwaves, then slammed into Golbat, headfirst.

    "Growlithe, now use Fire Fang!" smiled Cheeseball. Growlithe opened its mouth, and several of its teeth appeared to catch fire. It then lunged for Golbat as it struggled to get back into the air.

    "Golbat, return!" called Jack, holding out the ball. He acted just in time for Growlithe to chomp down on absolutely nothing.

    "OK..." said Jack, as he thought about what to send out next. Then, he heard a voice.

    "Cubone bone bone!"

    Jack looked down. Sure enough, Cubone was hopping up and down, waving the bone all over.

    "Cubone, you want to give it a shot?" said Jack. Cubone nodded. "Alright then," smiled Jack. "Cubone, go!"

    Cubone immediately took several steps forwards and faced Growlithe, brandishing the bone threateningly. Jack, meanwhile, quickly pulled out his Pokédex and brought up a list of Cubone's attacks.

    "Growlithe, Take Down!"

    "Cubone, use... Bone Club?"

    As Growlithe came charging towards Cubone, Cubone raised its bone in the air and swung it down, striking Growlithe directly. Growlithe was sent flying, and it landed at Cheeseball's feet, unconscious.

    "Not bad," said Jack, evidentially impressed.

    "RRRGH!" Cheeseball snarled in all caps as he recalled Growlithe. "A lucky shot!" And he took out another Poké Ball and threw it. "Kadabra, end his luck right here!"

    In a flash of light, Cheeseball's Kadabra appeared, and stared down Cubone.

    "Well, at least this time you can't win the same way you did last time," sneered Cheeseball. "Cubone can't learn Supersonic!"

    "Cubone, use Swagger!" Jack commanded, reading the next attack on the list.

    "BOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNE!" roared Cubone, crossing its arms as a massive red aura surrounded it. Kadabra's eyes began glowing red as well.

    "Kaaa..." mumbled Kadabra.

    "Oh, COME ON!" exclaimed Cheeseball. "Kadabra, snap out of it and use your Psybeam!"

    Kadabra raised its spoon, held it up high... And began smashing the kitchen utensil into its head repeatedly.

    "NO! NO! NO!" Cheeseball was roaring.

    "It hurt itself in its confusion," chuckled the Pokédex, as Kadabra tossed the spoon in the air and flopped to the ground. As it struggled to get up, the spoon came back down and struck Kadabra squarely on the head, rendering it unconscious.

    "That's it! THAT is IT!" roared Cheeseball as he withdrew Kadabra and threw another Poké Ball. "YOU WILL NOT WIN! WARTORTLE, DESTROY!" In a flash of light, Wartortle appeared, and sneered at the sight of the Ground-type Cubone before it.

    "Jack-" began Roy.

    "Yeah, yeah, I know, it's a Ground-type," said Jack. "Cubone, come back!"

    Cubone was only to glad to back away from the aquatic menace before it. Jack then threw a Poké Ball. "Get 'im, Ivysaur!" he called out as the ball opened up. In a flash of light, the Seed Pokémon materialized and faced Wartortle.

    "Use Ice Beam!" Cheeseball ordered.

    "Dodge it and use Razor Leaf!" Jack retaliated.

    Ivysaur expertly rolled out of the way of the oncoming Ice Beam, and launched a series of razor-sharp leaves right back at Wartortle.

    "Withdraw!" ordered Cheeseball. Wartortle pulled its head, tail, and limbs into its shell, allowing it to fall to the floor. The leaves bounced off with seemingly no effect.

    "Now use Aqua Tail!" continued Cheeseball. At this, Wartortle sprang back out of its shell, and its tail glowed blue. It then dashed towards Ivysaur, jumped, and twisted its body in midair so it could smack Ivysaur with the tail.

    "Grab it, Ivysaur! Use Vine Whip!" called Jack. Ivysaur quickly extended a pair of vines from its back, and wrapped them around Wartortle's shell. "Now, throw it!" Jack ordered.

    Ivysaur swung Wartortle around in midair, and heaved it back towards its trainer. The Turtle Pokémon landed not inches from Cheeseball's feet, and was clearly knocked out.

    "Nice job, Ivysaur," said Jack.

    "Saur!" grinned Ivysaur. Then, just as Cheeseball recalled Wartortle, Ivysaur began to glow!

    "What the-?!" exclaimed Cheeseball.

    "Is it..?" whispered Roy.

    "It IS!" exclaimed Jack. "It's evolving!"

    Sure enough, the glow then faded, revealing Ivysaur to be gone. In its place stood a large, blue-green Pokémon with what looked like a gigantic flower with a tree trunk growing on its back. Four massive leaves sprouted out at the base of the plant.

    "Venusaur, the Seed Pokémon, and the evolved form of Ivysaur," said Jack and Roy's Pokédexes simultaneously. "Venusaur constantly moves around in search of sunlight, which it stores as energy." They then stopped, realizing what had just happened. Roy's Pokédex giggled, while Jack's Pokédex sighed.

    "Now I've seen everything," groaned Cheeseball. "Your Pokédexes are in love!"

    "Say what?" said Roy.

    "Yeah, about that," said Jack, "My Pokédex fell in love with yours about two chapters back."

    "Holy crap..." muttered Roy.

    "Hey, we're still in a battle here!" exclaimed Cheeseball, holding up another Poké Ball.

    "Right, right, continue," said Jack.

    Cheeseball threw the ball. "Exeggcute, go!"

    In a flash of light, what appeared to be half a dozen of pink eggs appeared. Five of the eggs had faces, and the sixth one was cracked, a yellow yolk-like substance showing.

    "Exeggcute, the Seed Pokémon," said Jack's Pokédex. "Exeggcute use special telepathy to ensure they always form a cluster of six. They specialize in Psychic attacks."

    "Venusaur, Sludge attack!" called Jack. Instinctively, Cheeseball tried to block his brown, spiky hair with his hands. However, the gigantic torrent of Sludge issuing from Venusaur's gaping mouth struck Exeggcute directly.

    "Exeggcute, Confusion!" called Cheeseball, only to discover when the attack subsided that all six eggs were out cold.

    "Well, at least I didn't get hit by a Sludge attack this time," muttered Cheeseball. At this, however, one of Jack's Poké Balls burst open. In a flash of light, Weezing appeared and squirted twin streams of Sludge directly at Cheeseball's hair. With a sickening splattering sound, Cheeseball's head was dripping with sludge.

    "Oh, COME ON!" roared Cheeseball as he withdrew Exeggcute. He then made to push past Jack.

    "Wait, wait, wait, we're not done here," said Jack. "You still have Raticate, send it out."

    "Actually... I, uh, want to put the battle on hold so I can... clean the sludge out of my hair! Yeah, that's it..." muttered Cheeseball.

    "Hold it," said Roy. "You asked us what we were doing here, but what are YOU doing here?"

    "Um.. I just caught a Cubone!"

    "Didn't see it in battle," remarked Jack.

    Cheeseball stood in place for a minute, then suddenly burst into tears. "All right, all right! I'll tell you! My Raticate's dead, alright?! Those Team Rocket goons killed it! That's why I was here, to bury it! I never caught a Cubone! I ended the battle because I only have those five Pokémon!"

    "Why didn't you just tell us?" asked Jack.

    "Like I'm really gonna share what I'm feeling to people who call me 'Cheeseball'," snapped Cheeseball. "Get out of my way, NOW!"

    Jack recalled Venusaur and Weezing, and hastily stepped aside, slightly alarmed by Cheeseball's suddenly vicious tone of voice. Cheeseball stomped past the two trainers, leaving a trail of sludge and tears in his wake.

    "Wow," murmured Roy. "Those Rockets have to be stopped. First the Marowak, now Cheeseball's Raticate-"

    "AND MY NAME IS NOT CHEESEBALL!" came a roar from outside the tower.

    "I agree," said Jack, completely ignoring the previous line, despite it being in all caps. "Let's get going."

    "Cubone bone bone!" exclaimed Cubone, seemingly in agreement. With that, Jack led Cubone and Roy across the room, past rows upon rows of tombstones, until they arrived at another rickety wooden staircase. The stairs were painted a shade of purple one would expect to see on a Weezing. Jack climbed the creaky steps, and arrived on yet another floor laden with tombstones. This time, however, Jack could see a group of Channelers scattered all over the room.

    "You think they might help us?" asked Roy, who had arrived at the top of the stairs just after Jack.

    "I dunno," replied Jack. "They look kinda out of it. But then again, it's worth a shot." And he took a step forward.

    Instantly, a swirl of purple gas materialized before Jack, and took a vaguely diamondlike shape. A pair of what appeared to be eerie yellow eyes then appeared on the front of the gaseous being.

    "Gah!" exclaimed Jack, aiming his Pokédex at it. "WHAT is THAT?!"

    "It's a Ghost!" exclaimed the Pokédex.

    "A Ghost?!" exclaimed Roy.

    "Is there an echo in the building?!" roared Jack.

    "...Darn, the Ghost can't be ID'd!" groaned the Pokédex. "But it is a Pokémon of some sort, Jack, I can guarantee you that much!"

    "Well then," said Jack, "let's do this! Cubone, I choose-"

    "Cubone bone!" interrupted Cubone. Jack looked down to see Cubone cowering in fear behind his left leg.

    "OK, bad idea," conceded Jack, taking out a Poké Ball and throwing it. "Weezing, I choose you!"

    In a flash of light, Jack's Weezing appeared. It floated in place, ready for battle. Then it took one look (two looks, Jack figured, if one were to count the second head) at the Ghost and began hovering a little closer to the floor.

    The Ghost made the first move. Instead of attacking, however, it began to vibrate ever so slightly. Then, a horrifying moan of "GET OUT... GET OUT..." echoed throughout the room.

    "Weezing weez..." Weezing squeaked, floating even lower.

    "Weezing, use your Shadow Ball attack!" ordered Jack. Weezing did not even attempt to use the move, instead opting to rest on the floor and roll behind Jack, where it joined Cubone in cowering in fear.

    "Weezing, return," Jack groaned, aiming the Poké Ball over his shoulder. Once Weezing was recalled, Jack took out another Poké Ball and threw it. "Enough messing around! Rayquaza, destroy!"

    In a flash of light and a flurry of stars, Jack's shiny Rayquaza appeared in the room, somewhat hindered by the relatively low ceiling. Jack's satisfied smirk, however, slowly transformed into a look of shock and horror; once Rayquaza saw the Ghost, its shrieking roars turned to shrieks of terror, and it crashed to the floor, coiled itself into a fetal position, and began sucking one of its claws, which Jack took to be its thumb.

    "Oh, COME ON!" roared Jack. "Rayquaza, Hyper Beam!"

    In response, Rayquaza began sniveling and blubbering. Jack would have normally found this sort of sight hilarious, but not when it was his own Rayquaza incapacitated like this.

    "That's it! That is IT!" roared Jack, as he recalled Rayquaza and took out an empty Poké Ball. "You might be scaring my Pokémon half to death, but now you got to deal with me! And ghost or not, you're still a Pokémon!" And he threw the ball. "Poké Ball, GO!" he roared.

    The Ghost's reaction was immediate; it drifted off to its left, allowing the spherical object to soar past it, and collide in a painful-looking manner with a Channeler's head. "OW!" she yelled, rubbing the afflicted area.

    "Blame this damn Ghost!" Jack roared. The Ghost had drifted back to where it had been hovering, and Jack could've sworn he heard it snicker. This was the last straw.

    "THAT DOES IT!" snarled Jack in all caps, way beyond reason. He dug into his backpack and excavated from within an armful of empty Poké Balls. "I WILL CAPTURE YOU IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!" With that, he shifted the pile of Poké Balls so he was holding them all in his left arm. With his right arm, he took a ball off the pile and threw it at the Ghost.

    The exact same thing happened. The Ghost drifted off to the left and dodged the ball with ease.

    "It dodged the thrown ball!" reported the Pokédex.

    "YOU THINK?!" roared Jack, throwing another ball. Swiftly, the Ghost drifted back to the right, evading the ball. This only served to further enrage Jack, who threw Poké Ball after Poké Ball at the Ghost. Amazingly, the Ghost managed to evade every single one of them.

    "GRAAAH!" Jack roared. He let the remaining few Poké Balls fall to the ground and dashed towards the apparition himself, made a fist, and drew it back.

    "JAAAAAAAACK PAAAAAWNCH!" roared Jack, swinging the fist at the Ghost. Immediately, however, the Ghost vanished into thin air, leaving Jack free to have his fist collide rather painfully with a tombstone that supposedly was in memory of a Bagon who had jumped off of one cliff too many. The random thought that Bagon really were astonishingly stupid was the last thing Jack remembered thinking before blacking out.

    ~~~~~

    Jack came to in a brightly lit room. It took him several seconds to realize he was back in the Lavender Town Pokémon Center.

    "Wah!" exclaimed Jack, as he sat up suddenly. He was in a bed, and his right hand was bandaged up.

    "Take it easy, now," said the Nurse Joy. "Your hand's a little bruised up, but not broken. Still, I insist you stay here overnight to let it heal up."

    "Oh, good, you're awake, Jack," came a voice. Jack looked to his left to see Roy standing next to his bed. "You passed out after the Ghost avoided your fist and you punched that Bagon tombstone."

    "What happened to the Ghost?" asked Jack.

    "It never came back after you tried to punch it," replied Roy.

    "And my Poké Balls, did you gather them up?" asked Jack.

    "Cubone gathered most of them up while I was trying to carry you down the stairs," replied Roy. "Before that, Cubone used its bone to hit the button on Weezing's Poké Ball, so it could help me carry you."

    "Really?" chuckled Jack. "Where is Cubone, anyway?"

    In response, a giant fighting robot entered the room and handed Jack a Poké Ball. "Here you go, Jack," said the Pokédex. "I had to rearrange your team a little bit; Rayquaza's now in storage."

    "What are you talking about?" asked Jack.

    "Oh, you've not told him yet?" said the Pokédex to Roy.

    "I was just getting to it," said Roy, as he turned to Jack. "When Cubone was gathering up the Poké Balls, it accidentially activated one of them and captured itself. Since you had thrown the ball, Cubone was automatically registered to you and sent to your PC. You don't object, do you?"

    "Not at all," said Jack. "Let out Cubone, will you?"

    The Pokédex lobbed the ball into the center of the room, and Cubone came out. It immediately hopped up on the table next to Jack's bed, and looked at Jack as if worried.

    "I'm fine, Cubone," said Jack. He then heard a commotion from the other side of the room. Jack turned his head and saw Arbok, Weezing, Golbat, and Venusaur. All the Pokémon all looked happy to see him awake.

    "They came out of their Poké Balls while you were asleep, and they refused to leave your side," said Roy before Jack could ask. "Machoke didn't come out, though."

    "Maybe that's for the best," said Jack. "Machoke doesn't seem to like me too much."

    "Truth be told, Jack," continued Roy, "I wanted to ask you something about Machoke. You wouldn't mind maybe trading it to me, would you?" Jack looked at Roy, considering this.

    "Well," he said, "I kind of like Machoke, but then again, it clearly doesn't feel the same way about me. You know what? That'd be fine. What do you want to trade me for it?"

    "Well, there's no way in hell I'm trading Furret or Paras," said Roy. "And I somehow doubt Pidgey's really your kind of Pokémon."

    "You're very perceptive," nodded Jack.

    "So that just leaves Graveler," finished Roy. "What do you say?"

    "Fine by me," said Jack.

    Minutes later, Nurse Joy entered the room and told Roy to let Jack get some sleep. She also tried to return Jack's Pokémon to their Poké Balls; two seconds later, she exited the room, dripping in sludge. Jack and Weezing chuckled at this sight as Jack slowly drifted off to sleep.
    --------------------
    End Chapter 19.

        Spoiler:- Major events:
    Last edited by Missingno. Master; 8th June 2011 at 7:43 PM.

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    wow... kind of a deppresing chapter in the begining.. but after that, i thought it was funny! so, highlights!
    "JAAAAAAAACK PAAAAAWNCH!" roared Jack, swinging the fist at the Ghost. Immediately, however, the Ghost vanished into thin air, leaving Jack free to have his fist collide rather painfully with a tombstone that supposedly was in memory of a Bagon who had jumped off of one cliff too many. The random thought that Bagon really were astonishingly stupid was the last thing Jack remembered thinking before blacking out.
    its not very affective... XD
    In a flash of light and a flurry of stars, Jack's shiny Rayquaza appeared in the room, somewhat hindered by the relatively low ceiling. Jack's satisfied smirk, however, slowly transformed into a look of shock and horror; once Rayquaza saw the Ghost, its shrieking roars turned to shrieks of terror, and it crashed to the floor, coiled itself into a fetal position, and began sucking one of its claws, which Jack took to be its thumb.
    mwahahah!
    Cheeseball stood in place for a minute, then suddenly burst into tears. "All right, all right! I'll tell you! My Raticate's dead, alright?! Those Team Rocket goons killed it! That's why I was here, to bury it! I never caught a Cubone! I ended the battle because I only have those five Pok&#233;mon!"

    "Why didn't you just tell us?" asked Jack.

    "Like I'm really gonna share what I'm feeling to people who call me 'Cheeseball'," snapped Cheeseball. "Get out of my way, NOW!"
    jeeze feel kinda sorry for him...
    "Venusaur, the Seed Pok&#233;mon, and the evolved form of Ivysaur," said Jack and Roy's Pok&#233;dexes simultaneously. "Venusaur constantly moves around in search of sunlight, which it stores as energy." They then stopped, realizing what had just happened. Roy's Pok&#233;dex giggled, while Jack's Pok&#233;dex sighed.
    oh noez! dex shipping! dun dun duuuuun!
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    Finally, a new chapter. Onto the review:

    Not far from Rock Tunnel's southernmost exit lay a small town. Well, "small" wasn't actually what Jack would have used to describe the town. He would've said something more along the lines of-

    "..downright depressing," said Jack, cutting across his Pok&#233;dex's narration.

    "Jack!" groaned the Pok&#233;dex. "You just cut across my narration!"
    I didn't know you could cut off someone's narration.

    "A Pok&#233;mon that uses bones as weapons? That's a new one on me," commented Jack.

    "And Jack, for future reference, Cubone is a Ground-type, so don't even try."

    "Oh, shut up," snapped Jack.

    "What was that about?" asked Roy.

    Jack rolled his eyes. "There was an incident in Diglett's Cave. I told my Weezing to use Thunderbolt on one of them. They don't exactly scream 'Ground-type', you know!"

    "They live underground," said Roy. "How does that not scream 'Ground-type'?"
    As I said, you make everything funnier.

    "Is this the best idea?" asked the woman.

    "Don't worry," said Jack. "I've dealt with Team Rocket grunts before. They're morons. Trust me, my Pok&#233;mon are more than a match for those idiots."

    With that, Jack and Roy walked out of the house, with Cubone following them happily.

    "So, we're gonna try to boot a bunch of Team Rocket thugs out of Pok&#233;mon Tower?" said Roy, skeptically. "I have my doubts about this."

    "Relax," said Jack. "I already said, Team Rocket grunts are morons. The mere sight of Rayquaza should have them wetting themselves."
    Yeah, something like that.

    As Pidgeotto flapped its wings furiously, Machoke... yawned, and sat up against a tombstone apparently erected in memory of a Seviper who found out too late that picking a fight with eight Zangoose at once was an extremely bad idea.

    "Machoke, come on!" called Jack. "Do something!" In response, Machoke raised a hand and made an obscene gesture.

    "YOU LITTLE-!" roared Jack, as the swirling tornado made by Pidgeotto struck Machoke. The Superpower Pok&#233;mon was promptly thown into a wall. It slumped to the ground, clearly knocked out. Scowling, Jack recalled Machoke, and threw another Pok&#233; Ball. "Golbat, I choose you!" he called out. In a flash of light, Jack's Golbat appeared, flapping its wings, hovering in midair.
    Machoke, thank you for angering Jack.

    "Well, at least this time you can't win the same way you did last time," sneered Cheeseball. "Cubone can't learn Supersonic!"

    "Cubone, use Swagger!" Jack commanded, reading the next attack on the list.

    "BOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNE!" roared Cubone, crossing its arms as a massive red aura surrounded it. Kadabra's eyes began glowing red as well.

    "Kaaa..." mumbled Kadabra.

    "Oh, COME ON!" exclaimed Cheeseball. "Kadabra, snap out of it and use your Psybeam!"

    Kadabra raised its spoon, held it up high... And began smashing the kitchen utensil into its head repeatedly.

    "NO! NO! NO!" Cheeseball was roaring.

    "It hurt itself in its confusion," chuckled the Pok&#233;dex, as Kadabra tossed the spoon in the air and flopped to the ground. As it struggled to get up, the spoon came back down and struck Kadabra squarely on the head, rendering it unconscious.
    RUNNING GAGS!!!!!

    Venusaur, Sludge attack!" called Jack. Instinctively, Cheeseball tried to block his brown, spiky hair with his hands. However, the gigantic torrent of Sludge issuing from Venusaur's gaping mouth struck Exeggcute directly.

    "Exeggcute, Confusion!" called Cheeseball, only to discover when the attack subsided that all six eggs were out cold.

    "Well, at least I didn't get hit by a Sludge attack this time," muttered Cheeseball. At this, however, one of Jack's Pok&#233; Balls burst open. In a flash of light, Weezing appeared and squirted twin streams of Sludge directly at Cheeseball's hair. With a sickening splattering sound, Cheeseball's head was dripping with sludge.

    "Oh, COME ON!" roared Cheeseball as he withdrew Exeggcute. He then made to push past Jack.
    MORE RUNNING GAGS!!!!!!! And I suggested the idea for this.

    "Wow," murmured Roy. "Those Rockets have to be stopped. First the Marowak, now Cheeseball's Raticate-"

    "AND MY NAME IS NOT CHEESEBALL!" came a roar from outside the tower.

    "I agree," said Jack, completely ignoring the previous line, despite it being in all caps. "Let's get going."
    Sorry Cheeseball, but your name's Cheeseball. Jack and this fanfic says so.

    In a flash of light and a flurry of stars, Jack's shiny Rayquaza appeared in the room, somewhat hindered by the relatively low ceiling. Jack's satisfied smirk, however, slowly transformed into a look of shock and horror; once Rayquaza saw the Ghost, its shrieking roars turned to shrieks of terror, and it crashed to the floor, coiled itself into a fetal position, and began sucking one of its claws, which Jack took to be its thumb.

    "Oh, COME ON!" roared Jack. "Rayquaza, Hyper Beam!"

    In response, Rayquaza began sniveling and blubbering. Jack would have normally found this sort of sight hilarious, but not when it was his own Rayquaza incapacitated like this.

    "That's it! That is IT!" roared Jack, as he recalled Rayquaza and took out an empty Pok&#233; Ball. "You might be scaring my Pok&#233;mon half to death, but now you got to deal with me! And ghost or not, you're still a Pok&#233;mon!" And he threw the ball. "Pok&#233; Ball, GO!" he roared.

    The Ghost's reaction was immediate; it drifted off to its left, allowing the spherical object to soar past it, and collide in a painful-looking manner with a Channeler's head. "OW!" she yelled, rubbing the afflicted area.
    Now this is funny. Of funnyness(assuming that that's a real word). CAN'T RESIST DA POWAH OF SUFFIXES!!!!!!!!!

    "THAT DOES IT!" snarled Jack in all caps, way beyond reason. He dug into his backpack and excavated from within an armful of empty Pok&#233; Balls. "I WILL CAPTURE YOU IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!" With that, he shifted the pile of Pok&#233; Balls so he was holding them all in his left arm. With his right arm, he took a ball off the pile and threw it at the Ghost.

    The exact same thing happened. The Ghost drifted off to the left and dodged the ball with ease.

    "It dodged the thrown ball!" reported the Pok&#233;dex.

    "YOU THINK?!" roared Jack, throwing another ball. Swiftly, the Ghost drifted back to the right, evading the ball. This only served to further enrage Jack, who threw Pok&#233; Ball after Pok&#233; Ball at the Ghost. Amazingly, the Ghost managed to evade every single one of them.
    The ghost makes Jack angry, which is fun, so, I like that ghost.

    "JAAAAAAAACK PAAAAAWNCH!" roared Jack, swinging the fist at the Ghost. Immediately, however, the Ghost vanished into thin air, leaving Jack free to have his fist collide rather painfully with a tombstone that supposedly was in memory of a Bagon who had jumped off of one cliff too many. The random thought that Bagon really were astonishingly stupid was the last thing Jack remembered thinking before blacking out.
    F-Zero reference!!!! I've said it once before and i'll say it again, you make everything funnier.

    Minutes later, Nurse Joy entered the room and told Roy to let Jack get some sleep. She also tried to return Jack's Pok&#233;mon to their Pok&#233; Balls; two seconds later, she exited the room, dripping in sludge. Jack and Weezing chuckled at this sight as Jack slowly drifted off to sleep.
    Good to know Wheezing likes sludge makeovers as much as I do.

    Absolutely fantastic chapter MM(I'm just going to use your initials from now on). I give this chapter 5 out of 5, due to no grammatical or spelling errors, humor pontential being maxed out, nice long chapter, and cubone. This chapter more than makes up for the wait, I can't wait for the next one!

  11. #286
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    Awesome chapter! Please continue. You know who I feel bad for? Gyarados. He never sees action anymore.
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    ...True, I miss gyarados...seeing as its one of my fav. pokemon thats not surprising...U should do that missingno. master...Itll probably convince him to change his mind...
    The ghosts have a stunning similarity to the bad egg...y doesnt jack just use acshun reeplaie or whatever hes calleds book to prevent him from running into ghosts?
    Pokedexs in love...
    that being said...Sludge makeover! XD One day Cheeseballs hair will be permenantly purple



  13. #288
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    Default "Jaaaaaaaack Paaaaawnch!"

    Well at least Gyarados has gotten some action in the Awesome of Awesomess. He was used in the first gym battle. If any of Jack's Pokemon have been getting shafted it's Lucario, the only thing it's done in the Awesome of Awesomeness was defrost Rayquaza. And besides, it's Missingno. Master's fic, he can shaft whoever he wants.

    And there's not much to wait a long time for in this fic, is there? Jack and Roy caught Machoke and Graveler in the last chapter and they're already talking about trading them. And Jack's already caught a new Pokemon. And Ivysaur evolved. Pretty fast paced, but I'm not complaining.

        Spoiler:- Awesome of Awesomeness:


    You've made Lavender Town even more depressing with this chapter, yet at the same time you've made it more humorous as well. Makes about as much sense as this entire fic.
    Last edited by ~Platinum~; 28th November 2010 at 10:53 PM.

  14. #289
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    Quote Originally Posted by UltimatePokemonExpert View Post
    Awesome chapter! Please continue. You know who I feel bad for? Gyarados. He never sees action anymore.
    Quote Originally Posted by stickguy View Post
    ...True, I miss gyarados...seeing as its one of my fav. pokemon thats not surprising...U should do that missingno. master...Itll probably convince him to change his mind...
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Platinum~ View Post
    Well at least Gyarados has gotten some action in the Awesome of Awesomess. He was used in the first gym battle. If any of Jack's Pokemon have been getting shafted it's Lucario, the only thing it's done in the Awesome of Awesomeness was defrost Rayquaza. And besides, it's Missingno. Master's fic, he can shaft whoever he wants.
    Now, see, I, unlike the writers of the Pokemon anime who are all totally oblivious to everyone's desire to see Ash use Kingler again, listen to my fans. Gyarados and Lucario will be making moar appearances. Jack'll be rotating his team somewhat every now and again, especially for the next Gym battle.

    Quote Originally Posted by stickguy View Post
    The ghosts have a stunning similarity to the bad egg...y doesnt jack just use acshun reeplaie or whatever hes calleds book to prevent him from running into ghosts?
    Jack's been a little nervous about using Akshun Reeplae's book again ever since the Bad Egg incident. Besides, this book covers finding evolved Pokemon in the wild, not repelling Ghosts.

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Platinum~ View Post
    And there's not much to wait a long time for in this fic, is there? Jack and Roy caught Machoke and Graveler in the last chapter and they're already talking about trading them. And Jack's already caught a new Pokemon. And Ivysaur evolved. Pretty fast paced, but I'm not complaining.
    Yeah, I seem to do things a little fast-paced, I've noticed.

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Platinum~ View Post
    And exactly how does he know this?
    How does any random NPC know what they know?

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Platinum~ View Post
    This gonna be another running gag, isn't it?
    I'm considering it. I'm seriously considering it.


    Quote Originally Posted by ~Platinum~ View Post
    Weezing never disappoints.
    No, it doesn't, does it?

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Platinum~ View Post
    Now which is funnier, this or Rayquaza?
    I think it's a tie, really.

    And I just KNEW you'd use the "JAAAACK PAAAAWNCH!" line as the title of your post! I just knew it!


    Quote Originally Posted by ~Platinum~ View Post
    Pokemon and their trainers almost always end up with the same personalities.
    Yep.

    You've made Lavender Town even more depressing with this chapter, yet at the same time you've made it more humorous as well. Makes about as much sense as this entire fic. [/QUOTE]
    Well, Lavender Town's supposed to be a bit depressing, what with all the death and stuff.

    I doubt I'll have too much time this week to devote to writing, but I'll see what I can do. I'd like to be able to get the next chapter up by this weekend, but as always, I can make no promises.
    Last edited by Missingno. Master; 28th November 2010 at 11:16 PM.

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    Well well, it seems I had more time than I thought I would. Well, I'm sure none of you will be complaining.

    Chapter 20: Tricks of the Trade
    --------------------
    Jack was in good spirits. First, when he woke up that morning, Nurse Joy declared that his hand was perfectly OK. Second, he was still chuckling with the memory of Weezing blasting Nurse Joy with a Sludge attack. And third, he was about to trade away a disobedient Machoke for a hopefully more obedient Graveler. It was with these happy thoughts in mind that Jack walked alongside Roy up to the Lavender Town Pokémon Center's trading machine. Jack's spirits, however, were noticeably dampened upon actually seeing the machine. It looked nothing like the sleek, shiny, and cool model they had aboard the S.S. Anne.

    "This looks nothing like the sleek, shiny, and cool model they had aboard the S.S. Anne," complained Jack.

    "Copycat," muttered Jack's Pokédex.

    "Well, to be fair, the S.S. Anne's a luxury cruise ship," said Roy. "It's bound to have much fancier stuff than what a Pokémon Center has."

    "I got that," said Jack, "But there's less than fancy, and then there's this!"

    Taking another look at the machine, Roy could see Jack's point. It was true that most trading machines weren't as technologically advanced as the S.S. Anne's. But it was also true that most trading machines weren't made up of rusty sheet metal, covered in duct tape, or powered by gasoline.

    "Are you two ready?" asked Nurse Joy, as she poured gasoline into an opening on the side of the machine from a small, plastic container.

    "Yeah," the trainers replied. Roy placed Graveler's Poké Ball in the cracked indentation on his end of the machine; Jack placed Machoke's ball in the rust-covered indentation on his end.

    "Sorry about this," said Nurse Joy. "Lavender's a small town, so we're often the last to get the newest models of anything. We've been waiting for them to ship us a new trading machine for about a month now." With that, she pulled on the cord, and the trading machine's engine roared into life. As Jack covered his ears in a futile attempt to block out the loud, continuous noise, he observed the pipes on either side of the machine suck up the Poké Balls. The machine then made an earsplitting backfiring noise, and smoke began rising from the back of the machine. Jack and Roy then saw the silhouettes of Machoke and Graveler travel across the cracked, discolored monitor. The machine made the backfiring noise again, as the machine spewed the Poké Balls back out again. As Jack and Roy picked up their new Poké Balls, the machine's roar grew louder. The machine itself began shaking violently. Nurse Joy ran out from behind the machine at top speed.

    "Run for cover, everyone!" she screamed. "IT'S GONNA BLOW!"

    Jack and Roy made to follow her, but Jack's Pokédex acted swiftly. Jack felt a Poké Ball vanish from off his belt, only to be replaced by another one almost instantly. Confused, Jack plucked the new ball off his belt and enlarged it.

    "Throw it, Jack! Hurry!" urged the Pokédex. Jack did as told.

    In a flash of light, Jack's Lucario materialized. Upon spotting the trading machine, which was now pouring out thick, black, smelly smoke in addition to shaking violently, Lucario sprung into action. It brought its front paws together and formed an Aura Sphere between them, then spread its arms apart. The Aura Sphere floated forward and enlarged itself. It then collided with the trading machine, which passed through the Aura Sphere as if it were some sort of bubble, and was subsequently trapped inside. As soon as this happened, the trading machine exploded violently, but noiselessly. As everyone looking on had been hoping, Lucario's Aura Sphere had contained the explosion. Lucario lowered its arms, and the Aura Sphere vanished, leaving the slightly smoking debris of what had once been a functioning trading machine free to drop to the floor.

    "Nice thinking," said Jack appreciatively to his Pokédex. "And good work, Lucario."

    "It was nothing," Lucario responded telepathically.

    "Hey, by the way," Jack said to the Pokédex, "What did you send into storage to make room for Lucario?"

    "Your Arbok," replied the machine. "Hope you don't mind, but the situation was dire."

    "I'd have to agree with you on this one," remarked Jack.

    "That was close..." sighed Nurse Joy, as she made her way to a nearby chair and plopped down in it.

    "Wow..." murmured Roy, looking at what remained of the trading machine, Machoke's Poké Ball still in his hand. "Good thing we completed our trade when we did."

    "Yeah, agreed Jack, as he took Graveler's ball off his belt. "Well, why don't we break it to Machoke and Graveler that we traded?"

    "Good idea," replied Roy, throwing Machoke's ball into the air. Jack followed suit with Graveler's ball.

    In twin flashes of light, Machoke and Graveler materialized. However, before Jack and Roy could even draw breath, the two Pokémon started to glow a bright white.

    "WHAT THE-?" exclaimed Jack, Roy, and their Pokédexes simultaneously as Machoke and Graveler changed shape. As the light faded, in Graveler's place stood a spherical Pokémon covered in rock-like plates, with a brown head, two brown arms, and two brown legs sticking out. Machoke was replaced with a slightly taller version of itself, but with lighter blue skin and an extra pair of arms.

    "Golem, the Megaton Pokémon, and the evolved form of Graveler," said Jack's Pokédex. "Golem is known for rolling down mountainsides immediately following an earthquake. Once a year, it sheds its bedrock shell and grows larger."

    "Machamp, the Superpower Pokémon, and the evolved form of Machoke," said Roy's Pokédex. "Machamp can lift practically anything with its well-developed muscles. It throws its opponents farther than it can see."

    "How did this happen?!" Jack burst out.

    "Some Pokémon evolve when they've been traded," replied Jack's Pokédex. "Machoke and Graveler happen to be two of these Pokémon."

    "Why does that even happen, though?" asked Jack. Roy and Lucario shrugged.

    "Eh, whatever," said Jack, as he recalled Lucario. "I just want to make sure of something, though." And he approached his new Golem. "Golem?" he asked.

    "Lem?" replied Golem, turning its head to look at Jack.

    "Here's the thing," said Jack. "I'm your trainer now, and I'm hoping we could, you know, get along and stuff. You wouldn't be planning on disobeying me, or flipping me off, or anything like that, would you?"

    Golem shook its head.

    "Works for me," said Jack, holding out the Poké Ball. "Golem, return."

    As Golem was sucked back into its ball, Roy approached his new Machamp.

    "How about you, Machamp? You'll listen to me, won't you?" Machamp gave Roy four thumbs-up in response.

    "Excellent," replied Roy. As he reached to take Machamp's Poké Ball off his belt, Machamp turned around and stuck his tongue out at Jack. Jack pretended to not notice, but it wasn't easy.

    Once Machamp was recalled, Jack and Roy turned to leave.

    "What am I going to do?" moaned Nurse Joy, who was now standing up and looking at the pile of rubble that once was a trading machine. "What am I supposed to do about other trainers that might want to trade Pokémon?"

    As if on cue, the double doors of the Pokémon Center burst open, and a pair of men in brown uniforms walked in. Following close behind them was a pair of Machoke carrying a large cardboard box. On the side of the box, it said "Pokémon Trading Machine model 5.0- now with automatic built in cheese grater!"

    "How convenient was that?" chuckled Roy.

    "Hey," Jack called to the delivery men. "So, is there a lot of call these days for trading machines with built-in cheese graters?"

    "More than you'd think," chuckled one of the men, as the other had Nurse Joy sign for the trading machine. On the backs of their uniforms, Jack saw printed in yellow text, "Total United Reliable Delivery".

    As Jack and Roy exited the Pokémon Center, Jack began snickering.

    "What's so funny?" asked Roy.

    "Did you see the backs of their uniforms?!" chortled Jack.

    "Yeah..." said Roy, not getting it. "The backs of their uniforms just said 'Total United Reliable Delivery'. What's the big deal?"

    "Make an acronym out of that," chuckled Jack.

    "T... U... R- Ohhhh," chuckled Roy, now getting it. "I wonder if that was intentional?"

    "I doubt it," snickered Jack. "If that name was intentional, they'd be running an awful risk of gaining a reputation for crappy service." Jack and Roy then both roared with laughter at Jack's bad pun.

    "I agree," snorted Roy, as they began walking out of Lavender Town, to the west. "They'd pretty much be flushing all their business down the toilet!" And they roared with laughter again.

    It went on like this for a good fifteen minutes. Jack and Roy continued making horrible puns about the unintended acronym created by the Total United Reliable Delivery service, and roared with laughter all the way to an all-too-familiar looking guardhouse.

    "Now I know why their uniforms are brown!"

    "I bet they're the number two delivery service in Kanto!"

    "If more people catch onto that acronym, they're in deep doo-doo!"

    "Yeah- oh, no."

    "What?" said Roy, still chuckling.

    "Look!" exclaimed Jack, pointing in front of them. Roy turned to look, and saw a large, brick guardhouse.

    "What's the big deal?" asked Roy.

    "I'll bet anything this leads to Saffron City," groaned Jack.

    "...And?" said Roy.

    "Have you read the previous chapters at all?" asked Jack. "Don't you remember what happened the last two times I tried to enter Saffron City?"

    "Oh, so you encountered a couple of unreasonable guards. What's the odds that this guardhouse contains a thirsty and unreasonable guard?" asked Roy.

    In response, Jack led Roy inside. As expected, a security guard sat behind the desk. Upon seeing the two trainers, the guard called out. "Hey! HEY! Nobody is allowed to pass through! I am thirsty!"

    "Pretty good odds, I'd say," said Jack.

    "Aw, come on!" groaned Roy. "You mean you won't let us pass just because you're thirsty?!"

    "Bingo," replied the guard.

    "But how is that reasonable?!" spluttered Roy.

    "Never said it was."

    "As much as I hate these guys, this one's got a good point," admitted Jack.

    "Look," said Roy, completely ignoring Jack. "You can't just bar access to the city just because you're thirsty! Why don't you just get up and get a drink yourself?"

    "I'll tell you why," cut in Jack. "It's because he doesn't want to get his fat-"

    "Jack!" warned his Pokédex.

    "You irritate me," said Jack to aforementioned machine. "You know that, don't you?"

    "Yep," replied the Pokédex.

    "As I was saying, it's because he doesn't want to get his fat butt up off of that seat. Happy now?" he added to his Pokédex.

    "Very much so."

    "Excuse me?" spat the security guard, getting aforementioned hindquarters off of the seat and standing up. "Just who do you think you're calling fat, stumpy?"

    "Big mistake in progress!" warned Jack's Pokédex.

    "Ah, shut up, you overgrown garage door opener!" snarled the guard.

    "Overgrown- why you..." spluttered the Pokédex.

    "Roy, perhaps we ought to back up a bit," suggested Roy's Pokédex.

    "Good idea," muttered Roy, as he inched backwards.

    "Yes, I called you an overgrown garage door opener," sneered the guard. "And what do you intend to do about it, you steam-driven pile of junk?"

    "Who you calling steam-driven?!" roared the Pokédex. "Jack, rip his head off!"

    "Uh-oh," squeaked Roy.

    "Oho!" chortled the guard as Jack sneered at him and made a fist. "Oh, is the widdle baby gonna try and fight-"

    "JAAAAAAAAAAACK PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNCH!" roared Jack, as he lunged over the counter, knocking the tubby security guard to the floor. What then ensued was an all-out brawl. Roy was standing in a corner, watching the fight with a stunned look on his face. The Pokédex was chanting, "Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack!"

    "YOU WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK?!" roared Jack snatching up his Pokédex, pressing a few buttons, then taking a Poké Ball off his belt. "I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK!" And he got up off the security guard, and ushered Roy out the door. As Jack exited as well, he threw the ball back into the guardhouse. "GYARADOS, HYDRO PUMP HIM!"

    In a flash of light, Jack's Gyarados appeared, filling the entire guardhouse. After a little twisting around, Gyarados finally located the pudgy security guard, cowering behind the counter, trying to stop his nose from bleeding. Smiling slightly, Gyarados unleashed a torrential blast of water. Though the sheer size of Gyarados meant that Jack snd Roy's view of the situation was blocked, the spluttering and gurgling noises the guard was now making told them everything they needed to know. Smiling, Jack recalled Gyarados, and he and Roy proceeded through the now-waterlogged guardhouse. Although the guard now no longer tried to stop them, he shook his fist at Jack.

    "THIS ISN'T OVER, PUNK!" he roared. "THIS IS NOT OVER!"

    "Yeah, right," chuckled Jack, as he and Roy finally entered the expansive maze of skyscrapers that was Saffron City.
    --------------------
    End Chapter 20.

        Spoiler:- Major events:
    Last edited by Missingno. Master; 8th June 2011 at 7:44 PM.

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    "JAAAAAAAAAAACK PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNCH!" roared Jack, as he lunged over the counter, knocking the tubby security guard to the floor. What then ensued was an all-out brawl. Roy was standing in a corner, watching the fight with a stunned look on his face. The Pok&#233;dex was chanting, "Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack!"
    i really hope THIS becomes a running gag i really do
    "More than you'd think," chuckled one of the men, as the other had Nurse Joy sign for the trading machine. On the backs of their uniforms, Jack saw printed in yellow text, "Total United Reliable Delivery".
    the second i read this i knew you where gonna do what you did
    "How about you, Machamp? You'll listen to me, won't you?" Machamp gave Roy four thumbs-up in response.

    "Excellent," replied Roy. As he reached to take Machamp's Pok&#233; Ball off his belt, Machamp turned around and stuck his tongue out at Jack. Jack pretended to not notice, but it wasn't easy.
    yesyesyesyes! this made something in my neck pop i laghed so hard XD
    In a flash of light, Jack's Gyarados appeared, filling the entire guardhouse. After a little twisting around, Gyarados finally located the pudgy security guard, cowering behind the counter, trying to stop his nose from bleeding. Smiling slightly, Gyarados unleashed a torrential blast of water. Though the sheer size of Gyarados meant that Jack snd Roy's view of the situation was blocked, the spluttering and gurgling noises the guard was now making told them everything they needed to know. Smiling, Jack recalled Gyarados, and he and Roy proceeded through the now-waterlogged guardhouse. Although the guard now no longer tried to stop them, he shook his fist at Jack.
    this is exactly why this fic is awsome(of awsomeness)
    "THIS ISN'T OVER, PUNK!" he roared. "THIS IS NOT OVER!"
    IS it over? *looks at Missingno. Master*
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    A new chapter. Onto the review:

    Jack was in good spirits. First, when he woke up that morning, Nurse Joy declared that his hand was perfectly OK. Second, he was still chuckling with the memory of Weezing blasting Nurse Joy with a Sludge attack. And third, he was about to trade away a disobedient Machoke for a hopefully more obedient Graveler. It was with these happy thoughts in mind that Jack walked alongside Roy up to the Lavender Town Pokémon Center's trading machine. Jack's spirits, however, were noticeably dampened upon actually seeing the machine. It looked nothing like the sleek, shiny, and cool model they had aboard the S.S. Anne.

    "This looks nothing like the sleek, shiny, and cool model they had aboard the S.S. Anne," complained Jack.

    "Copycat," muttered Jack's Pokédex.

    "Well, to be fair, the S.S. Anne's a luxury cruise ship," said Roy. "It's bound to have much fancier stuff than what a Pokémon Center has."

    "I got that," said Jack, "But there's less than fancy, and then there's this!"

    Taking another look at the machine, Roy could see Jack's point. It was true that most trading machines weren't as technologically advanced as the S.S. Anne's. But it was also true that most trading machines weren't made up of rusty sheet metal, covered in duct tape, or powered by gasoline.
    Wow, that does sound pretty bad.

    "Run for cover, everyone!" she screamed. "IT'S GONNA BLOW!"

    Jack and Roy made to follow her, but Jack's Pokédex acted swiftly. Jack felt a Poké Ball vanish from off his belt, only to be replaced by another one almost instantly. Confused, Jack plucked the new ball off his belt and enlarged it.

    "Throw it, Jack! Hurry!" urged the Pokédex. Jack did as told.

    In a flash of light, Jack's Lucario materialized. Upon spotting the trading machine, which was now pouring out thick, black, smelly smoke in addition to shaking violently, Lucario sprung into action. It brought its front paws together and formed an Aura Sphere between them, then spread its arms apart. The Aura Sphere floated forward and enlarged itself. It then collided with the trading machine, which passed through the Aura Sphere as if it were some sort of bubble, and was subsequently trapped inside. As soon as this happened, the trading machine exploded violently, but noiselessly. As everyone looking on had been hoping, Lucario's Aura Sphere had contained the explosion. Lucario lowered its arms, and the Aura Sphere vanished, leaving the slightly smoking debris of what had once been a functioning trading machine free to drop to the floor.

    "Nice thinking," said Jack appreciatively to his Pokédex. "And good work, Lucario."
    Lucario sees some action, and the trade machine explodes? Awesome of awesomeness.

    As if on cue, the double doors of the Pokémon Center burst open, and a pair of men in brown uniforms walked in. Following close behind them was a pair of Machoke carrying a large cardboard box. On the side of the box, it said "Pokémon Trading Machine model 5.0- now with automatic built in cheese grater!"

    "How convenient was that?" chuckled Roy.

    "Hey," Jack called to the delivery men. "So, is there a lot of call these days for trading machines with built-in cheese graters?"

    "More than you'd think," chuckled one of the men, as the other had Nurse Joy sign for the trading machine. On the backs of their uniforms, Jack saw printed in yellow text, "Total United Reliable Delivery".
    Built-in cheese grater huh? Sounds like the pop-ups are back. Wait...the pop-ups are back!

    "Yeah..." said Roy, not getting it. "The backs of their uniforms just said 'Total United Reliable Delivery'. What's the big deal?"

    "Make an acronym out of that," chuckled Jack.

    "T... U... R- Ohhhh," chuckled Roy, now getting it. "I wonder if that was intentional?"

    "I doubt it," snickered Jack. "If that name was intentional, they'd be running an awful risk of gaining a reputation for crappyservice." Jack and Roy then both roared with laughter at Jack's bad pun.

    "I agree," snorted Roy, as they began walking out of Lavender Town, to the west. "They'd pretty much be flushing all their business down the toilet!" And they roared with laughter again.

    It went on like this for a good fifteen minutes. Jack and Roy continued making horrible puns about the unintended acronym created by the Total United Reliable Delivery service, and roared with laughter all the way to an all-too-familiar looking guardhouse.

    "Now I know why their uniforms are brown!"

    "I bet they're the number two delivery service in Kanto!"

    "If more people catch onto that acronym, they're in deep doo-doo!"
    That's Jack for ya!

    "Have you read the previous chapters at all?" asked Jack. "Don't you remember what happened the last two times I tried to enter Saffron City?"

    "Oh, so you encountered a couple of unreasonable guards. What's the odds that this guardhouse contains a thirsty and unreasonable guard?" asked Roy.

    In response, Jack led Roy inside. As expected, a security guard sat behind the desk. Upon seeing the two trainers, the guard called out. "Hey! HEY! Nobody is allowed to pass through! I am thirsty!"

    "Pretty good odds, I'd say," said Jack.

    "Aw, come on!" groaned Roy. "You mean you won't let us pass just because you're thirsty?!"

    "Bingo," replied the guard.

    "But how is that reasonable?!" spluttered Roy.

    "Never said it was."

    "As much as I hate these guys, this one's got a good point," admitted Jack.

    "Look," said Roy, completely ignoring Jack. "You can't just bar access to the city just because you're thirsty! Why don't you just get up and get a drink yourself?"

    "I'll tell you why," cut in Jack. "It's because he doesn't want to get his fat-"

    "Jack!" warned his Pokédex.

    "You irritate me," said Jack to aforementioned machine. "You know that, don't you?"

    "Yep," replied the Pokédex.

    "As I was saying, it's because he doesn't want to get his fat butt up off of that seat. Happy now?" he added to his Pokédex.

    "Very much so."
    Thank you MM, just thank you.

    "JAAAAAAAAAAACK PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNCH!" roared Jack, as he lunged over the counter, knocking the tubby security guard to the floor. What then ensued was an all-out brawl. Roy was standing in a corner, watching the fight with a stunned look on his face. The Pokédex was chanting, "Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack!"

    "YOU WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK?!" roared Jack snatching up his Pokédex, pressing a few buttons, then taking a Poké Ball off his belt. "I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK!" And he got up off the security guard, and ushered Roy out the door. As Jack exited as well, he threw the ball back into the guardhouse. "GYARADOS, HYDRO PUMP HIM!"

    In a flash of light, Jack's Gyarados appeared, filling the entire guardhouse. After a little twisting around, Gyarados finally located the pudgy security guard, cowering behind the counter, trying to stop his nose from bleeding. Smiling slightly, Gyarados unleashed a torrential blast of water. Though the sheer size of Gyarados meant that Jack snd Roy's view of the situation was blocked, the spluttering and gurgling noises the guard was now making told them everything they needed to know. Smiling, Jack recalled Gyarados, and he and Roy proceeded through the now-waterlogged guardhouse. Although the guard now no longer tried to stop them, he shook his fist at Jack.
    Jack gets mad because of more unreasonable guards. If you haven't noticed, I really like those guardhouse scenes.

    5 out of 5, because of no errors, and a fantastically funny chapter. Please keep up the good work!

  18. #293
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    This is awesome! So how are you going to work through Saffron City if Celadon City is first? Yes! Lucario and Gyarados appear! Please continue the good work!
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  19. #294
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    Default 'Total United Reliable Delivery'

    Jack's going to Saffron before Celadon? This is definately straying away from the path that the game takes. It also opens up some questions such as whether TR will have taken over yet, whether Sabrina will battle him, and what will happen if he tries to leave the city. By that I mean do the thirsty security guards prevent people from leaving the city as well as entering. Rather interesting change of events, can't wait to see what you'll do with it.

    And this chapter was short but enjoyable. I guess our requests to see Gyarados and Lucario made it easier to write, since you said it'd be up by the weekend and it only took a few days.

    Quote Originally Posted by Missingno. Master
    And I just KNEW you'd use the "JAAAACK PAAAAWNCH!" line as the title of your post! I just knew it!
    Well I said I'd be using funny lines as post titles, and this is obviously funny. If it wasn't funny it wouldn't be in this fic. :D

        Spoiler:- Awesome:

  20. #295
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    Quote Originally Posted by ninetails012 View Post
    i really hope THIS becomes a running gag i really do
    As with confusing Cheeseball's Kadabra, I am seriously considering it.


    Quote Originally Posted by ninetails012 View Post
    IS it over? *looks at Missingno. Master*
    Wait and see.

    Quote Originally Posted by Resident evil View Post
    Lucario sees some action, and the trade machine explodes? Awesome of awesomeness.
    Of awesomene- oh wait you already did that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Resident evil View Post
    Built-in cheese grater huh? Sounds like the pop-ups are back. Wait...the pop-ups are back!
    Not necessarily. This trading machine is the latest model, albeit with a slightly random and useless attachment. The pop-ups sell completely useless junk. There's a difference.

    Quote Originally Posted by Resident evil View Post
    Thank you MM, just thank you.
    You're welcome.

    Quote Originally Posted by Resident evil View Post
    Jack gets mad because of more unreasonable guards. If you haven't noticed, I really like those guardhouse scenes.
    And believe me, it'll be hard to top that one. There's still one last guard.


    Quote Originally Posted by ~Platinum~ View Post
    Jack's going to Saffron before Celadon? This is definately straying away from the path that the game takes. It also opens up some questions such as whether TR will have taken over yet, whether Sabrina will battle him, and what will happen if he tries to leave the city. By that I mean do the thirsty security guards prevent people from leaving the city as well as entering. Rather interesting change of events, can't wait to see what you'll do with it.
    I have a few ideas in mind. I can tell you right now, though, that Jack's next gym battle will be in Celadon City.


    Quote Originally Posted by ~Platinum~ View Post
    And this chapter was short but enjoyable. I guess our requests to see Gyarados and Lucario made it easier to write, since you said it'd be up by the weekend and it only took a few days.
    Yeah, knowing you guys wanted to see Lucario and Gyarados did help to provide me with ideas for this chapter. Were it not for you wanting Lucario to do more, I might not have gotten the idea to make the trading machine extremely old and broken-down, or to make it explode.

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Platinum~ View Post
    I know it's supposed to sound bad, but it's actually pretty funny. I think it's the duct tape.
    Yeah, I was going for a bit of humor there as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Platinum~ View Post
    Bad puns galore.
    I had all sorts of puns like that in my head ever since the last time my brother stepped in dog crap, but until now I never had a practical use for them.


    Quote Originally Posted by ~Platinum~ View Post
    Wasn't this reference used in the Adventure of Adventureness?
    Yes, yes it was. In the battle against the giant fighting "bad grammar" robot in the Dot Com Building Rooftop Colosseum, someone had called the robot a steam-driven pile of junk, and it of course replied, "WHO YOU CALLING STEAM-DRIVEN?!"


    Quote Originally Posted by ~Platinum~ View Post
    "Brawl" and "JACK PAWNCH" in the same paragraph? Was that intentional?
    Might've been.


    I'm not too sure, but I think I'll have a good amount of time on my hands tomorrow, so if all goes well, the next chapter may be up sometime this weekend, if not before. I'm working on the next chapter right now, but I highly doubt I'll be able to finish it tonight. Stranger things have happened, though. So, what I think I'm trying to say is, the next chapter could be up anytime between tonight and Sunday.

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    Alright, it may be a tad on the short side, but here is Chapter 21!

    Chapter 21: Blasting Off Again
    --------------------
    Jack and Roy gazed around the city full of tall buildings. It almost reminded Jack of Cyber Town, except in Saffron, the massive skyscraper wasn't nearly as tall or wide as the Dot Com Building, and it was in the center of town rather than behind all the buildings.

    "So what now?" said Jack.

    "Saffron City has a gym, doesn't it?" replied Roy. "Let's earn us another badge!"

    "Oh, yeah," said Jack. "I remember now. We can earn our Marsh Badges here. The Gym Leader uses Psychic-types."

    With that, the two trainers headed off towards the northeast corner of town, where there stood a massive building that could only be Saffron Gym. Although no tree blocked their way this time, Jack could see an obstacle in their path that was at least three times as stupid.

    "Hey!" roared the Team Rocket grunt. "Get out of here, or I'll have to hurt you!"

    "Get out of our way," replied Jack as he drew a Poké Ball from his belt, "Or my Gyarados will have to hurt you."

    "You're bluffing," spat the grunt. "There's probably nothing but a freakin' Caterpie in there!"

    "Try me," said Jack as he enlarged the ball to full size.

    "Jack, come on," said Roy, tugging Jack away from the gym. "He's not worth it, let's just go to the Pokémon Center."

    "Hey, stop it!" exclaimed Jack. Despite his muscular state, he had lost his footing when Roy started pulling on his arm, and was in no position to pull away from the trainer. He instead settled for protesting and arguing as Roy pulled him down the concrete path. Roy then stopped in front of a decidedly nondescript house, and read a sign posted in front of it.

    "Mr. Psychic's house," Roy read. "Huh. What say we go in and see what this is about?"

    "What say?" repeated Jack. "I say, no way. We must have passed at least three other Team Rocket grunts on the way here, and that's not counting the ones I saw skulking down those side streets. I'm willing to bet this is some Team Rocket trap."

    "I dunno," said Roy. "From what you've told me about Team Rocket, they're not nearly smart enough to pull off an elaborate scheme of any sort."

    "OK, you got me there," conceded Jack, as the duo entered the house.

    "Ah, welcome!" exclaimed an old man as he saw Jack and Roy enter his house. "I am the amazing..." At this point he got up from his seat, spun around, and struck what was evidentially intended to be a mystical pose. "...Mr. Psychic."

    "Oh, boy," Jack thought to himself. "Looks like we're in for some laame loony fake fortune-telling act from some Spinda-faced geezer who's obviously not all there."

    "I can see your thoughts," continued Mr. Psychic. "For example, you," he said, pointing to Jack. "You are thinking that you and your friend are in for some laame loony fake fortune-telling act from some Spinda-faced geezer who's obviously not all there."

    Jack blinked in astonishment. "Wow," he muttered to Roy. "Right down to the misspelling of 'lame'."

    "What did I tell you, huh?" smirked Mr. Psychic.

    "Eh, lucky shot, Mr. Psybeam," scoffed Jack.

    "That's Mr. Psychic," snapped Mr. Psychic.

    "Yeah, whatever," sighed Jack.

    "And now, you are thinking... that you wanted THIS!" exclaimed Mr. Psychic, producing a pair of pink discs from a plastic bag on his table.

    "Not really, but what is that?" said Jack.

    "These are TM29s!" declared Mr. Psychic dramatically. "They teach Psychic!"

    "Cool," said Roy, accepting his. Jack merely shrugged before taking his.

    "And now I must bid you farewell, for I am expecting a pizza to be delivered," said Mr. Psychic.

    "OK, thanks!" said Roy.

    "Yeah, bye, Mr. Psywave," said Jack.

    "That's Mr. Psychic!" roared the man as Jack slammed his door shut.

    "Nice guy," commented Roy, placing his TM29 in his TM case.

    "Yeah," agreed Jack, as he did the same. "Wierd, but nice. How many of these TMs does that Mr. Psyduck have anyway?"

    "THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!" came a roar from the house they had just vacated. Jack just shook his head and chuckled.

    The Pokémon Center was but a mere mile down the road from Mr. Psycho's house-

    "THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!" came the roar.

    "Cool," chuckled Jack to his Pokédex. "Glad to see I'm such a good influence on my Pokédex.

    "Yeah, yeah," chuckled the Pokédex. "I couldn't resist, OK?"

    "Do you see me complaining?" replied Jack.

    Anyway, the Pokémon Center was but a mere mile down the road from Mr. Psychic's house. However, in that short walk, Jack already saw two more Team Rocket grunts. These two paid no attention to the trainers, however; they were too busy gorging themselves on a cheese pizza, while attempting to conceal what looked like an unconscious pizza delivery guy stuffed into the bushes.

    "Jack, you know what?" said Roy, as they approached the Pokémon Center. "Let's just go straight to Celadon City, it's right next to here, and there's also a gym there. It's clear that we won't be able to do too much with these Team Rocket grunts here."

    "There's truth in that," conceded Jack, as he reluctantly followed Roy past the Pokémon Center; he had been hoping to sit down for a while.

    A little more walking, and Jack and Roy came across yet another guardhouse, which allowed Saffron City to be exited from the west. Jack and Roy exchanged glances before they headed into the guardhouse.

    As expected, manning the guardhouse was yet another security guard who looked as if he could stand to cut back on the donuts. Upon seeing Jack and Roy, he screamed.

    "Hey! HEY! I am thirsty! Road closed!"

    Jack opened his mouth to retort, but then noticed that the guard was pointing them the way they were going anyway.

    "I said shoo!" continued the guard. "Nobody enters Saffron City while I thirst!"

    "OK....." muttered Jack, as he and Roy passed the guard and exited the guardhouse on the opposite side.

    "That was wierd," said Roy, once they were out of the guardhouse. "I thought he'd try to stop us from passing him. Looks like they just don't let anyone in."

    "That IS wierd," agreed Jack. "But then again, so is this entire region. Everyone's wierd, from Professor Oak to that Mr. Psycho Boost-"

    "IT'S MR. PSYCHIC!!!" came an earth-shaking scream from within the city.

    "Wow, that guy sure can scream," commented a nearby tree. Jack and Roy jumped.

    "James, you moron!" snapped an otherwise inconspicuous boulder. "Youse just gone and blown our cover!"

    "Oh, forget it!" exclaimed another tree. Jack and Roy watched as the two trees and the boulder ripped off their disguises, revealing themselves to be none other than Jessie, James, and Meowth.

    "Prepare for trouble, we were in disguise!"

    "And make it double, what a nice surprise!"

    "To protect the world from devastation!"

    "To unite all peoples within our nation!"

    "To denounce the evils of truth and love!"

    "To extend our reach to the stars above!"

    "Jessie!"

    "James!"

    "Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"

    "Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"

    "Meowth! That's right!"

    Jack rolled his eyes. "Not you morons again!"

    Roy turned to look at Jack. "Who are these?"

    "Jessie, James, and a talking Meowth," replied Jack. "They're the biggest losers in Team Rocket. Sometimes I actually feel sorry for Team Rocket, knowing that they're saddled with these idiots."

    "You take dat back!" snapped Meowth.

    "And while you're at it, give us your Rayquaza!" said Jessie.

    "And all of your other Pokémon would be nice," added James.

    "Do you really expect that to work?" said Jack.

    "...no, not really," answered the trio simultaneously.

    "Jack rolled his eyes and readied a Poké Ball. In response, Jessie threw a Poké Ball, and James threw a gold-plated ball.

    "Yanmega, persuade this twerp!"

    "Gyarados, you too!"

    In twin flashes of light, Jessie's Yanmega appeared, right next to proof that James's Magikarp had evidentially evolved. A massive, blue sea serpent stood high above Jack and roared loudly.

    Jack then threw his Poké Ball. "Cubone, go!"

    Roy also threw a Poké Ball. "Furret, I choose you!"

    In twin flashes of light, Jack's Cubone appeared right next to Roy's Furret. Furret took one look at Jack and squeaked in fright.

    "No, Furret, not Jack! These clowns!" called Roy, pointing at Jessie and James."

    "Clowns?! How dare you! Yanmega, Quick Attack! Aim for the Furret!" demanded Jessie.

    "Gyarados, show that Cubone a Tackle attack!" commanded James.

    "Cubone, hit Gyarados with Swagger!" called Jack.

    "Furret, give Yanmega an Ice Punch!" ordered Roy.

    Yanmega streaked down towards Furret, only to be met by a stubby, yet icy fist, which sent it reeling backwards. Meanwhile, Gyarados began swaying around dangerously, having been confused by Cubone's Swagger.

    "Now use Bone Club!" Jack ordered.

    "NO!" exclaimed Roy, his Pokédex, and Jack's Pokédex simultaneously, but it was too late. Cubone swung its bone at Gyarados, but the bone passed straight through Gyarados's body, having no effect whatsoever.

    "WHAT THE F-" screamed Jack.

    "Watch the language! Remember the rating!" warned the Pokédex.

    "Yeah, but what happened?!" exclaimed Jack. "Why didn't the Bone Club attack work?!"

    "Bone Club is a Ground-type move, and Gyarados is a Flying-type," replied Roy. "Ground moves don't work on Flying-types."

    "OK," said Jack, "I understand that in the case of stuff like Earthquake being used against a Fearow or Golbat, but Bone Club on a Gyarados?!"

    "That is a little odd," conceded Roy.

    "A little?!" roared Jack. He then took out his Pokédex.

    "OK, you, spill it! What else can Cubone use?!"


    "Just Bonemerang and Rock Slide," replied the Pokédex.

    "Rock Slide," repeated Jack. "A Rock move. Good. Cubone, Rock Slide attack!"

    "Cubone bone bone!" replied Cubone as its bone glowed brown. Cubone then swung its bone around in the air, and multiple brown glowing stones emerged from the bone, made graceful arcs in midair, and crashed down onto Gyarados.

    As Yanmega hovered in midair, watching this all unfold, she suddenly found herself getting struck hard and knocked backwards into Jessie.

    "Aagh!" gasped Jessie. Although Yanmega was a Bug-type, it was unquestionably the biggest Bug-type Jack had ever seen; it therefore was of a sufficient size to knock the air out of her trainer.

    "Great job, Furret!" exclaimed Roy. "That Giga Impact of yours is really coming along!"

    Meanwhile, Gyarados fell to the ground under the weight of the falling stones, and slipped into unconsciousness.

    "Uh-oh," murmured James.

    "Let's finish them!" said Roy. In response, Jack took out a Poké Ball and threw it.

    "Weezing," called Jack, "Give them your Thunderbolt attack now!"

    In a flash of light, Weezing appeared, and wasted no time. Its entire body crackled with electricity; Weezing then fired off a sizzling bolt of lightning straight at Jessie, James, their unconscious Pokémon, and Meowth. They all screamed as the electricity coursed through their bodies, as a large and sudden explosion then threw them into the air.

    "HEY, MORONS!" called Jack. "YOU'RE BLASTING OFF A-"

    "SHUT UUUUUUUUP!" they screamed back as they flew off into the sky and out of sight.

    "Well, that was different," said Roy, as he and Jack recalled their Pokémon. "Let's get going, then."

    "Good idea," said Jack. Then, he grinned.

    "What are you grinning about?" asked Roy.

    "Just want to try something out," said Jack. And he muttered under his breath, as quietly as possible, "Mr. Psychiatry".

    "THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!!!!" roared Mr. Psychic in bold, all caps, and size 4 font from within Saffron City. Jack and Roy then roared with laughter as they walked along the brick path which led into Celadon City.
    --------------------
    End Chapter 21.

        Spoiler:- Major events:
    Last edited by Missingno. Master; 8th June 2011 at 7:46 PM.

    I HAVE CLAIMED WEEZING. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY.
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  22. #297
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    Good chapter. A little short, but good! I'm suprised that you let James keep his gyarados.
    † I am a Christian and proud of it! Copy and paste this if you are too.†



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  23. #298
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    Default "that's mr. Psychic!!!!"

    *gasps and wheezing* Finally caught up! Wow, I stumbled onto this story before I joined Serebiiforums and I have to say that I love every moment of it. I'm only going to review this chapter onwards becaouse it would take me forever to find the best moments from EVERY chapter and not only that but I'm too lazy anyways... :P

    "Ah, welcome!" exclaimed an old man as he saw Jack and Roy enter his house. "I am the amazing..." At this point he got up from his seat, spun around, and struck what was evidentially intended to be a mystical pose. "...Mr. Psychic."
    It's obvious that this guy doesn't know what he's about to get himself into... >: D

    "Eh, lucky shot, Mr. Psybeam," scoffed Jack.

    "That's Mr. Psychic," snapped Mr. Psychic.
    Please tell me this will be a constant running gag in future chapters, I could see this one as a constant joke!!!

    These two paid no attention to the trainers, however; they were too busy gorging themselves on a cheese pizza, while attempting to conceal what looked like an unconscious pizza delivery guy stuffed into the bushes.
    Well... so much for Mr. Psycho's-

    "THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!!!!!!!!"

    -pizza...

    "Wow, that guy sure can scream," commented a nearby tree.
    Well said, James, well said!

    "Do you really expect that to work?" said Jack.

    "...no, not really," answered the trio simultaneously.
    Now that they've admitted that they have a problem with failing at stealing protagonists' pokemon all three are on the first step to recovery!

    "WHAT THE F-" screamed Jack.

    "Watch the language! Remember the rating!" warned the Pokédex.
    I love it how you practically NUKE the 4th wall in this story!

    "HEY, MORONS!" called Jack. "YOU'RE BLASTING OFF A-"

    "SHUT UUUUUUUUP!" they screamed back as they flew off into the sky and out of sight.
    xD I nearly died laughing as I read that.

    And finally...

    "THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!!!!"
    Seriously, I can see this as a running gag!

    Hope to see more soon! :3
    NOTE: I am a person with Autistic needs, somebody who is very sensitive to stuff like criticism and I might not understand jokes or the way things are said to me. Please be considerate before posting a reply to me and try to be kind, because if you are kind to me, then I will be kind to you.

  24. #299
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    New chapter. Onto the review:

    "Oh, boy," Jack thought to himself. "Looks like we're in for some laame loony fake fortune-telling act from some Spinda-faced geezer who's obviously not all there."

    "I can see your thoughts," continued Mr. Psychic. "For example, you," he said, pointing to Jack. "You are thinking that you and your friend are in for some laame loony fake fortune-telling act from some Spinda-faced geezer who's obviously not all there."

    Jack blinked in astonishment. "Wow," he muttered to Roy. "Right down to the misspelling of 'lame'."
    Agreed with Jack.

    "What did I tell you, huh?" smirked Mr. Psychic.

    "Eh, lucky shot, Mr. Psybeam," scoffed Jack.

    "That's Mr. Psychic," snapped Mr. Psychic.

    "Yeah, whatever," sighed Jack.
    Agreed with Jack again.

    "Yeah, bye, Mr. Psywave," said Jack.

    "That's Mr. Psychic!" roared the man as Jack slammed his door shut.
    Mr. Psychic seems to like his name for some reason.

    "Yeah," agreed Jack, as he did the same. "Wierd, but nice. How many of these TMs does that Mr. Psyduck have anyway?"

    "THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!" came a roar from the house they had just vacated. Jack just shook his head and chuckled.

    The Pokémon Center was but a mere mile down the road from Mr. Psycho's house-

    "THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!" came the roar.

    "Cool," chuckled Jack to his Pokédex. "Glad to see I'm such a good influence on my Pokédex.

    "Yeah, yeah," chuckled the Pokédex. "I couldn't resist, OK?"

    "Do you see me complaining?" replied Jack.
    Thank you MM. That was awesome of awesomeness.

    "Hey! HEY! I am thirsty! Road closed!"

    Jack opened his mouth to retort, but then noticed that the guard was pointing them the way they were going anyway.

    "I said shoo!" continued the guard. "Nobody enters Saffron City while I thirst!"

    "OK....." muttered Jack, as he and Roy passed the guard and exited the guardhouse on the opposite side.
    So they let you leave, but not come in? Either way I didn't like this guardhouse scene as it had a lot of humor potential.

    "That IS wierd," agreed Jack. "But then again, so is this entire region. Everyone's wierd, from Professor Oak to that Mr. Psycho Boost-"

    "IT'S MR. PSYCHIC!!!" came an earth-shaking scream from within the city.
    If he's sceaming that loud, then shouldn't he explode or something? But, then again this fic has little to no logic whatsoever anyway.

    Now use Bone Club!" Jack ordered.

    "NO!" exclaimed Roy, his Pokédex, and Jack's Pokédex simultaneously, but it was too late. Cubone swung its bone at Gyarados, but the bone passed straight through Gyarados's body, having no effect whatsoever.

    "WHAT THE F-" screamed Jack.

    "Watch the language! Remember the rating!" warned the Pokédex.

    "Yeah, but what happened?!" exclaimed Jack. "Why didn't the Bone Club attack work?!"

    "Bone Club is a Ground-type move, and Gyarados is a Flying-type," replied Roy. "Ground moves don't work on Flying-types."

    "OK," said Jack, "I understand that in the case of stuff like Earthquake being used against a Fearow or Golbat, but Bone Club on a Gyarados?!"

    "That is a little odd," conceded Roy.

    "A little?!" roared Jack. He then took out his Pokédex.

    "OK, you, spill it! What else can Cubone use?!"
    Yeah I know Jack, pokemon doesn't make much sense when it comes to those things. It drives you insane. Of insaneness.

    "HEY, MORONS!" called Jack. "YOU'RE BLASTING OFF A-"

    "SHUT UUUUUUUUP!" they screamed back as they flew off into the sky and out of sight.
    Yeah, they're morons.

    "What are you grinning about?" asked Roy.

    "Just want to try something out," said Jack. And he muttered under his breath, as quietly as possible, "Mr. Psychiatry".

    "THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!!!!" roared Mr. Psychic in bold, all caps, and size 4 font from within Saffron City. Jack and Roy then roared with laughter as they walked along the brick path which led into Celadon City.
    Huh, kinda like toxicroak without the poison jab/cross chop.

    Good chapter, 5 out of 5, and sorry about the short review, I was about to do something.

  25. #300
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    yes new chapter! hightlights!
    "I dunno," said Roy. "From what you've told me about Team Rocket, they're not nearly smart enough to pull off an elaborate scheme of any sort."
    so true.
    "Oh, boy," Jack thought to himself. "Looks like we're in for some laame loony fake fortune-telling act from some Spinda-faced geezer who's obviously not all there."

    "I can see your thoughts," continued Mr. Psychic. "For example, you," he said, pointing to Jack. "You are thinking that you and your friend are in for some laame loony fake fortune-telling act from some Spinda-faced geezer who's obviously not all there."
    people in kanto are wierd.
    As expected, manning the guardhouse was yet another security guard who looked as if he could stand to cut back on the donuts. Upon seeing Jack and Roy, he screamed.

    "Hey! HEY! I am thirsty! Road closed!"

    Jack opened his mouth to retort, but then noticed that the guard was pointing them the way they were going anyway.

    "I said shoo!" continued the guard. "Nobody enters Saffron City while I thirst!"
    lolz
    "WHAT THE F-" screamed Jack.

    "Watch the language! Remember the rating!" warned the Pokédex.
    tsk tsk tsk jack i thought you would have learned by now the rateing of this fic
    "Just want to try something out," said Jack. And he muttered under his breath, as quietly as possible, "Mr. Psychiatry".

    "THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!!!!" roared Mr. Psychic in bold, all caps, and size 4 font from within Saffron City. Jack and Roy then roared with laughter as they walked along the brick path which led into Celadon City.
    this= win
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