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Thread: The Adventure of Adventureness

  1. #1
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    Default The Adventure of Adventureness

    Please enjoy my fanfic. PG-13.

    Chapter 1: The beginning

    Once there was a boy named Jack. He was walking down the road when he saw a shiny Rayquaza! He threw a Master Ball at it and caught it, and went on. The end.





























    "Woah, woah, woah. Wait one fricking minute!" Jack yelled. "What the hell was THAT?! Hey, you! The narrator! Get over here!"

    The narrator, a handsomely dressed man in a tuxedo, who resembled the stereotypical butler, approached Jack. "What seems to be the problem, sir?" he asked in a british accent.

    "The problem is, first off, that ridiculous accent," said Jack. "Second off, your narration is a bit self-complementary, and third, oh, I dunno, maybe.... THIS WHOLE STORY?!"

    "What's wrong with the story?" the incredibly handsome narrator asked incredulously.

    "There you go again! Stop praising yourself in your own narration!" yelled Jack, clearly at his wit's end. "And what's wrong with the story?! Did you not see that story?! It STUNK, that's what's wrong with it! Two lines! Two lines of text! I go down the road, I catch a shiny Rayquaza with a Master Ball that seems to appear out of nowhere?! Where's the plot?! Where's the depth?! The description! For all the readers know, I could be a two-headed cheeseburger with a hundred and seven tentacles!"

    "Now calm down, young sir-" began the narrator, before Jack cut him off.

    "NO, I will NOT calm down! In fact, I am going to find the idiot what that wrote that piece of garbage that is trying to be passed off as a story and give him a piece of my mind! A very violent piece of my mind, preferably!"

    At this point, the narrator was very much aware that Jack, despite being a ten-year-old boy, was rather muscular. Not exactly world-class bodybuilder material, but clearly stronger and beefier than anyone else his age. Aside from his strength, Jack was very much your average ten-year old. He had nondescript brown hair that he kept cut short. He wore a pair of faded blue jeans, a pair of white sneakers, and a red t-shirt. He also had an extremely short temper. The devilishly handsome narrator- "HEY!" screamed Jack. "WHAT DID I JUST FREAKING TELL YOU?!" "Sorry, sir," apologized the narrator.

    "Now then," said the narrator, "Be reasonable. You don't even know how to get to the place of residence of the author!" At this, Jack smiled.

    "Oh, yes I do. Once we leave the internet and get into the real world, it'll be a cinch! You see, as computer data, we naturally have homing instincts that will lead us to the computer from which we originated. If my guess is correct, the idiot who wrote this piece of garbage should live there, or at least come there frequently."

    "How do you know all this?" asked the astonished narrator.

    Jack shrugged. "I might be a muscular guy with a short fuse, but I'm also very, very smart. Is that a PROBLEM???"

    "Not at all, sir," replied the narrator, rather nervous. Then he remembered something. "Eh, sir, did you say 'we'?"

    "You don't honestly think I'm gonna go out and beat up this.... Missingno. Master all by myself, do you?"

    "I had rather hoped, actually."

    "Well quit your hoping and come with me. You got a name?"

    "Yes," said the narrator. "It's the narrator".

    Jack stared. "What kind of a name is that?!" The narrator shrugged.

    Jack shook his head. "I swear, this is getting wierder and wierder. Let's get going."

    The narrator stopped him. "Uh, sir, pardon my impertinence, but how exactly are we to leave the internet?"

    "I'm not sure myself. Hence, we're going to Cyber Town. We're bound to get some answers there, those guys know everything about the internet."

    "And Cyber Town is where, exactly?" inquired the sexy narrator.

    Jack slapped the narrator's face. "That's for inserting your little braggy adjectives into your narration again. And Cyber Town is supposed to be down this road. Let's go."

    With that, Jack and the narrator began the journey towards Cyber Town.

    Meanwhile, Missingno. Master, mysteriously cloaked in shadows, sat at his computer, watching the events unfold.

    "So, these guys think they can escape the internet and beat me to a pulp, do they? Well, we'll see who's beating whom when I'm through with them! Ahahahahahaha!" He continued to laugh in his evil way, while beginning to type up chapter 2.

    --------------------------
    That's it for chapter 1. Please rate. Comment. Say stuff.

        Spoiler:- Major events:



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    Book 2: The Awesome of Awesomeness
    Book 3: The Random of Randomness
    Book 4: The Epic of Epicness
    Book 5: The Adventure of Adventureness: Special Chapters

    The main characters and their Pokémon

    Chapter directory
    Last edited by Missingno. Master; 24th July 2012 at 5:51 PM. Reason: Adding Zibdas to the PM list.

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  2. #2
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    Ha ha! I am liking this!

    ...the incredibly handsome narrator...
    The devilishly handsome narrator...
    Yeah, I think I'm gonna like the rest of this story!
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  3. #3
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    Metafiction... yeah!

    Except for a quest to get you, I wonder what this will contain. And there were little Pokémon around. Just by the way.
    There is no higher purpose in life. Humans never had, and never will have, a reason for living. God merely created us because he wanted to allow someone to experience the beauty of living.

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    This is hilarious. Especially the way the narrator described himself as "deviishly handsome", like GalladeRocks. My only thing as that this does not seem long enough, as it is supposed to be two pages in Microsoft Word but I don't think anybody will get at you for that as I don't see what else you can put in and it seems fine enough.

    Good job on this, I look forward to reading this!


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  5. #5
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    Dude, this was hilairious, I hope this has lots of meta references in it, but, there weren't that many pokemon invovled. I hope this becomes the family guy of the fan fic section, this is awesome.





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    Just to note, there will be more Pokemon involved in the story. That shiny Rayquaza isn't the only reason this is in with the Pokemon fanfics.

    I'm gonna be kinda busy tomorrow, but I will try and have the next chapter up within the next couple of days.

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    This is a lovely fanfic, really funny. The bits where the narrator was complimenting himself really tickled me. I like how it's set in a story-world, and Jack and the narrator are searching to destroy the author (you!). I'm definitely looking forward to the next chapter, which should be just as good, if not better!
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  8. #8
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    Your spacing TRICKED me sir. You TRICKED me. I thought I could start a lolfail critism spree...but noooo...

    You just HAD to put in the
    "Woah, woah, woah. Wait one fricking minute! What the hell was THAT?!"
    that I was gonna say. XD I like how this is going, but you might wanna work on your description a little bit more. And now for the highlights!

    "The problem is, first off, that ridiculous accent," said Jack. "Second off, your narration is a bit self-complementary, and third, oh, I dunno, maybe.... THIS WHOLE STORY?!"

    "What's wrong with the story?" the incredibly handsome narrator asked incredulously.
    Alright, how many times does the Narrator try and pull this stunt?!

    "There you go again! Will you PLEASE stop praising yourself in your own narration?!" yelled Jack, clearly at his wit's end. "And what's wrong with the story?! Did you not see that story?! It STUNK, that's what's wrong with it! Two lines! Two lines of text! I go down the road, I catch a shiny Rayquaza with a Master Ball that seems to appear out of nowhere?! Where's the plot?! Where's the depth?! The description! For all the readers know, I could be a two-headed cheeseburger with a hundred and seven tentacles!"
    The two-headed cheeseburger with a hundred and seven tentacles did me in. *snort*

    "NO, I will NOT calm down! In fact, I am going to find the idiot what that wrote that piece of garbage that is trying to be passed off as a story and give him a piece of my mind! A very violent piece of my mind, preferably!"
    Um...oh dear me...my...

    "So, these guys think they can escape the internet and beat me to a pulp, do they? Well, we'll see who's beating whom when I'm through with them! Ahahahahahaha!" He continued to laugh in his evil way, while beginning to type up chapter 2.
    I'm gonna keep track of how many times the narrator praises himself. (Four so far.)

    Please, keep it up!
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    This is genius. I've seen other people write a story about the same type of idea, but the way you have the characters act is hilarious. Can't wait to see more in the future.
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    Glad to see everyone likes the story so far!

    Chapter 2: Toxicroak Troubles

    "Um, excuse me, sir..."

    "WHAT???"

    "You-you did say that Cyber Town is just down this road, and-"

    "I KNOW WHAT I FRICKIN' SAID!"

    "Then why aren't we there ye-"

    "SHUT UP!"

    Jack and the narrator were traveling down the road to Cyber Town. Obviously, tensions were running high, as evidenced by Jack's speech being entirely in capital letters. Only the heroic and handsome-

    "I swear, if the next word that comes out of your mouth is 'narrator', I will throw you in a tank with a school of starving Carvahna!" snarled Jack.

    Only the heroic and hansome storyteller managed to keep his cool. The road down which they traveled was in itself rather nondescript. A plain dirt road. A plain light blue sky above them. Plain green grass on either side of them. And to their left, a blue creature, humanesque in shape, but with a black band around each arm, a design around the midsection that gave the illusion of being bound in bandages, and black, three-fingered hands, the middle fingers being orange. To top it all off, it's indescribably odd yellow eyes, oddly shaped smile, and orange cheek pouches all gave off an air of weirdness. The smartly dressed narrator pulled out a pack of small rectangles of cardboard from one of his pockets, and began shuffling through them when Jack smacked him in the face.

    "THAT was for doing that whole self-complimentary thing again," said Jack. "And what in the name of random stuff are you doing?"

    "I always carry with me cards depicting numerous Pokémon," came the reply. "It helps me to know what I talk about when I narrate Pokémon stories. Ah, here we are." For he had drawn a card with a picture that looked exactly like the strange creature before him and began to read from it. "Croagunk, the Toxic Mouth Pokémon. Croagunk makes an eerie blubbering noise as it inflates its poison sacs on either side of its face. It does so to intimidate its opponents."

    "HAH!" exclaimed Jack. "That thing making a blubbering noise wouldn't scare me. Might make me want to hurl, but it wouldn't scare me." Then he noticed that the narrator was taking from his pocket a small sphere, the size of a ping-pong ball, half red, half white. The two halves were separated from each other by a black line and a small white button in the middle. He pressed this button, and with a whirring noise, the Poké Ball grew to the size of a baseball.

    "You're going to battle it?" asked Jack.

    "Why, certainly," replied the buff narrator, earning another slap from Jack.

    "STOP DOING THAT!" screamed Jack. In response, the Croagunk made a sound that could only be described as an eerie blubbering noise. As promised, Jack turned right around, and accompanying it with various hideous noises, barfed all over the otherwise nondescript dirt road. Meanwhile, the narrator threw the Poké Ball. A second later, it split open on the black line, and a flash of white energy emerged from it, forming it into a birdlike shape. The glow it emitted died down, enabling Jack to see that the Pokémon that the narrator had sent out was indeed birdlike, with a black head, which had a strange protrusion sticking up out of the back, which gave the head the appearance of a music. It also sported a white ruff of feathers around its neck, blue wings, and a yellow and green chest. It was flapping its wings to stay airborne, during which yellow feathers could be seen on the undersides of its wings. It opened its dark pink beak to say something, but whatever it was was drowned out by Jack's loud cry of "HA!" Both Pokémon and trainer looked around at Jack. "Who could've predicted this?" asked Jack in a tone dripping with sarcasm. "Who could've EVER predicted this? This narrator, Sir-Talks-Too-Much, owns a Chatot! HAH!" In response, the Chatot flapped its way up to Jack's face. "Yeah, what do you want, birdbrain?" asked Jack, still amused by the situation.

    "Squawk! Shut up before I break your face," cawed the Chatot, before turning around to face the Croagunk, who amazingly had continued to stand there the whole time. Jack turned to the narrator.

    "Did that Chatot just-"

    "Why, yes he did. You see, Chatot are usually capable of merely mimicing human speech. However, mine is particularly intelligent, allowing it to actually converse with humans, and even translate what other Pokémon say."

    Jack was impressed, but he tried not to show it. Meanwhile, the narrator began the battle. "Chatot, use your Peck!"

    "Awwk! Aye aye!" screeched Chatot as he dove down towards Croagunk, beakfirst. Croagunk just stood there for a moment. Then, quicker than anyone could've anticipated, Croagunk's right hand began to glow a light purple; simulataneously, Croagunk lunged at Chatot, glowing hand first. They collided in midair, with Croagunk proving the stronger. Chatot was knocked back; what was more, its head had a strange purplish tinge to it now.

    "Be careful, Chatot, I do believe that was a Poison Jab attack," warned the narrator.

    "Awwk. No kidding," grumbled Chatot, as he flapped his way back towards Croagunk, albeit rather warily.

    "Chatot, now, Aerial Ace!"

    Chatot responded by flying upward, then doing an impressive loop in midair. Wings outstretched, it streaked towards Croagunk, screeching menacingly, no more than an inch from the ground. Jack missed what happened next, for he needed to blink. However, after he blinked, he saw Croagunk go flying, with Chatot standing on the ground, watching smugly. Croagunk hit the dirt road with a loud thudding sound. It moved no more.

    The narrator drew yet another Poké Ball from his pocket and enlarged it to full size. He then heaved it at Croagunk, shouting "Poké Ball, go!" The ball smacked into Croagunk, and split open just as Chatot's had. However, Croagunk simultaneously turned into pure red light, lost its shape, and then entered the Poké Ball, accompanied by a whirring sound, different to the one that occurred when either Poké Ball was enlarged. The ball then snapped shut once all the red light had entered. At that point it fell to the ground and began to wiggle back and forth. All the while, a red light was blinking on and off on the button. After several tense moments, made somewhat less tense by Chatot breaking wind, the ball stopped wiggling, and the light ceased to blink.

    The narrator had caught a Croagunk. Triumphantly, he held out Chatot's Poké Ball, which emitted a red beam of light, which, when hitting Chatot, turned him into red light and sucked him back into the ball, and then walked forward to pick up his new capture. Meanwhile, for the past minute, it had gotten considerably darker. Jack was the only one who seemed curious about this. Finally, he turned around. And then he considered barfing again. For behind Jack stood five creatures, all of them resembling Croagunk, yet with differences. For one thing, each of them had a relatively small horn protruding from their foreheads. For another thing, their middle fingers were now in the form of sinisterly shaped claws. For another thing, instead of two small orange pouches on their cheeks, each one sported a large red sac on their neck. For another thing, they all had small red moustaches. However, none of these details were what disturbed Jack the most. The fact that each of them was the size of a skyscraper, however, disturbed him greatly. Beside him, Jack head the sound of shuffling, and then the handsome narrator's voice.

    "Toxicroak, the Toxic Mouth Pokémon, and the evolved form of Croagunk. Toxicroak churn the poison in their sacs by croaking, which makes the already powerful venom even more potent. It secretes this toxic venom through its knuckle claws." After he recited this, Jack slapped him again.

    "Seriously, the whole you-complimenting-yourself deal is getting real old, real fast," said Jack. "Besides, now that we've established that they are skyscraper-size Toxicroak, what do you propose we do about it?"

    "I say we run like hell," answered the narrator.

    "For once, I'm with you," replied Jack. With that, the two of them turned around and ran like hell. The earth-shaking sound of footsteps behind them told them that the Toxicroak were following. Not only that, Jack turned his head to learn, much to his horror, that the Toxicroak were gaining on him.

    "Jack!" gasped the narrator as they ran.

    "What?"

    "Use Rayquaza!"

    "Huh?!"

    "The shiny Rayquaza you captured in that piece of garbage Missingno. Master dares to call a story!"

    Jack stared as he ran. Of course! He reached into his pocket and pulled out a sphere identical to a Poké Ball, except the top half of this was purple, with two pink circles on either side of a white "M". He turned around and tossed the Master Ball into the air, yelling "Rayquaza! GO!" In a brilliant flash of white light, and accompanied by a flurry of stars, a black, serpentine dragon flew into the air, shrieking. The narrator pulled out his cards, shuffled through them, and pulled one out. It featured a picture of a Rayquaza, albeit a green one.

    "Rayquaza, the Sky High Pokémon. Rayquaza lives high in the ozone layer of the Earth's atmosphere. It is said to have never landed, not even once." Without even waiting for orders, the off-color Rayquaza formed a bluish orb in its toothy, gaping mouth, and shot the Dragon Pulse straight towards one of the Toxicroak. It fell as soon as the attack hit it, but then something strange happened. The Toxicroak seemed to become pixellated. Then, with an electronic beep, it vanished completely! Jack cautiously edged forward, and touched the foot of the nearest Toxicroak. It also pixellated and vanished! Taken aback, Jack yelled "Go, Rayquaza, Hyper Beam attack!"

    Rayquaza formed another orb in its mouth, this one bright yellow. It shot a carefully aimed beam which struck one Toxicroak straight in the sac, aand caused it to fall back, hitting the other two before it vanished. The remaining Toxicroak then pixellated and vanished in turn. Stunned, the narrator asked Jack, "How did you know that this Rayquaza knew Hyper Beam?"

    Jack looked at the narrator as if he were stupid. "It's a shiny Rayquaza captured in a Master Ball in a badly written fanfic. I would've been surprised if it didn't know Hyper Beam." With that, Jack called "OK, Rayquaza, we're going to ride you to Cyber Town." Rayquaza, however, began to roar. It shot another Hyper Beam at the ground before Jack, sending him and the narrator flying. When Jack picked himself up, Rayquaza was already flying away at top speed. Jack held out the Master Ball, yelling "Rayquaza, return!" However, Rayquaza nimbly dodged the red beam, several times. Within seconds, it was out of sight.

    "Oh, do cheer up, sir," said the gorgeous, and as a hint for the ladies, single narrator. Jack turned around and punched the narrator in the stomach.

    "One, my shiny Rayquaza is gone. Two, you're actually trying to pick up women through your narration?! That's about as desparate as it gets!"

    The narrator staggered to his feet, and a minute later, responded: "Well, if you don't like it, why don't you try narrating the next chapter?!"

    "All right, I will!" declared Jack. "And it'll be easy!"

    Meanwhile, Missingno. Master, still shrouded in shadow, sat at his computer, screaming a string of swearwords that a pirate crew would be proud of. Jack and the narrator weren't detered by his skyscraper-sized Toxicroak. Not only that, but they even were able to destroy them, easily! He decided he needed better obstacles. He paused for a moment, then began to chuckle evilly as he began writing chapter three.

    "Woah, woah, woah, wait a minute!" exclaimed Jack. He turned to the narrator, from whom he heard everything. "Missingno. Master is out to get us?!"

    "Why yes he is," responded the narrator.

    "Well, make him stop!"

    "I can't. I'm just the narrator. I don't make the story, I just tell it."

    "So you mean none of that self praise was your fault?"

    "No, that was all me."

    ---------------------------------------

    End of chapter two. Tell me what you think!

        Spoiler:- Major events:
    Last edited by Missingno. Master; 5th July 2011 at 8:27 PM.

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  11. #11
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    ... I would never want to date a narrator.

    Nicely done fic, very funny. And you hit on a point that annoys me, when wild Pokemon do absolutely nothing while the characters check the Pokedex, argue with their Pokemon, get prepared.

    You know, I always found that bribery and blackmail help keep rebellious/powerful characters in check.
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  12. #12
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    Spotted errors and typos, funny points and other random comments!

    Then he noticed that the narrator
    the Pokémon that the narrator had send out
    Jack turned to the narrator.
    "Be careful, Chatot, I do believe that was a Poison Jab attack," warned the narrator.
    The narrator drew yet another Poké Ball from his pocket and enlarged it to full size
    The narrator had caught a Croagunk
    "I say we run like hell," answered the narrator.
    Stunned, the narrator asked Jack, "How did you know that this Rayquaza knew Hyper Beam?"
    The narrator staggered to his feet, and a minute later, responded.
    He turned to the narrator, from whom he heard everything.
    "I can't. I'm just the narrator. I don't make the story, I just tell it."
    o_O No self-glorificating adjectives? The narrator's too soft!

    Jack looked at the narrator as if he were stupid
    And now this? Narrator, get your act together!

    This:
    "THAT was for doing that whole self-complimentary thing again," said Jack.
    "And what in the name of random stuff are you doing?"
    Should be this:
    "THAT was for doing that whole self-complimentary thing again," said Jack. "And what in the name of random stuff are you doing?"
    In response, the Croagunk made a sound that could only be described as an eerie blubbering noise
    Haha, repetitions like those are awesomely funny.

    the Pokémon that the narrator had sent out
    Should be sent, not send

    "The shiny Rayquaza you captured in that piece of garbage Missingno. Master dares to call a story!"
    Haha, awesome stuff. Never thought we'd see it again!

    Stunned, Jack yelled "Go, Rayquaza, Hyper Beam attack!"

    Rayquaza formed another orb in its mouth, this one bright yellow. It shot a carefully aimed beam which struck one Toxicroak straight in the sac, aand caused it to fall back, hitting the other two before it vanished. The remaining Toxicroak then pixellated and vanished in turn. Stunned, the narrator asked Jack, "How did you know that this Rayquaza knew Hyper Beam?"
    Vary a bit. I felt odd reading that because of the two "stunned"'s =P

    Jack looked at the narrator as if he was stupid. "It's a shiny Rayquaza captured in a Master Ball in a badly written fanfic. I would've been surprised if it didn't know Hyper Beam."
    Haha, great. Also, he was, not he were.

    "One, my shiny Rayquaza is gone. Two, you're actually trying to pick up women through your narration?! That's about as desparate as it gets!"
    Aah... love it, love it.

    The narrator staggered to his feet, and a minute later, responded: "Well, if you don't like it, why don't you try narrating the next chapter?!"
    The first part may be a separate sentence, but I think you should at least put a colon here.

    "All right, I will!" declared Jack. "And it'll be easy!"
    The next chapter'll be awesome. I hope, for laugh's sake, that Jack fails miserably. Like, typos, ewky description and dat sh*t.

    "So you mean none of that self praise was your fault?"

    "No, that was all me."
    Ahahaha, best chapter ending ever!
    There is no higher purpose in life. Humans never had, and never will have, a reason for living. God merely created us because he wanted to allow someone to experience the beauty of living.

  13. #13
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    Hahahahaa! xDDDD This fanfic is hilarious, and I'm really looking forward to reading more. The narrator complimenting himself never gets old.

    "I say we run like hell," answered the narrator.
    "Oh, do cheer up, sir," said the gorgeous, and as a hint for the ladies, single narrator.
    "So you mean none of that self praise was your fault?"

    "No, that was all me."
    I started laughing SOO hard after reading these!! Oh my gosh!! *still laughing crazily* That was brilliant! Hahaha xDDDD Amazing!! I saw a few typos, but they have already been pointed out. Anyway, excellent job! I'm looking forward to chapter 3! Oh, and I noticed a few run-ons, such as:

    The glow it emitted died down, enabling Jack to see that the Pokémon that the narrator had send out was indeed birdlike, with a black head, which had a strange protrusion sticking up out of the back, which gave the head the appearance of a music note, a white ruff of feathers around its neck, blue wings, and a yellow and green chest.
    I'm not certain if this a run-on because it could depend on how you read it, but it sounded strange to me. I recommend separating this sentence into different sentences or something (:

    Anyway, brilliant! =DDDDD

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    And yet another glorious gem that you threw into the pile for us to fix before sending it off to the displa case we call the "Completed Fics" section. Although I found something nobody else did yet:

    "That thing making a blubbering noise wouldn't scare me.
    You had the h in 'That' capitalized, needs to be lowercased.

    I love this fic, and I hope Jack does an OK job narrating himself like the narrator does. And does the narrator have a name, or is he just the narrator? I suppose it's the latter, as nobody EVER names a narrator. =)


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  15. #15
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    Aaaand, the fourth wall has just collapsed on me! Ow.

    Could this be the most ridiculous, hilarious fic on Serebii? Quite possibly.
    Originally Posted by scytherdude30
    no no no you need an empoleon as your powerhouse da listen to me man I AM THE BOMB
    Quote Originally Posted by Zincspider View Post
    Yes, someone is getting 'killed'... HOORAY FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!....
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  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by starliteevee View Post
    And does the narrator have a name, or is he just the narrator? I suppose it's the latter, as nobody EVER names a narrator. =)
    Or he could pull a Scrubs on us and make it Jack's mission to find out the narrator's real name

    Only the heroic and handsome-

    "I swear, if the next word that comes out of your mouth is 'narrator', I will throw you in a tank with a school of starving Carvahna!" snarled Jack.
    Only the heroic and hansome storyteller managed to keep his cool
    Haha that figures.
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  17. #17
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    I like how it's set out, it reminds me of Hercules, one of my alltime favourite disney movies. The only thing bad was that stereotypical remark about the butler having a british accent, and being generally british. I just don't know why people think us british are all just posh pricks drinking our barley water and f**king scones. Nothing personal, but I just find it really annoying when people just refer to british people like that.

    Otherwise, I like it!

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intelligence View Post
    I like how it's set out, it reminds me of Hercules, one of my alltime favourite disney movies. The only thing bad was that stereotypical remark about the butler having a british accent, and being generally british. I just don't know why people think us british are all just posh pricks drinking our barley water and f**king scones. Nothing personal, but I just find it really annoying when people just refer to british people like that.

    Otherwise, I like it!
    Didn't mean to offend anybody by it, sorry. I just always imagined a narrator as being a stereotypical british butler, I dunno why. Glad you like the story, though.


    Chapter 3: Attack of the Generic Giant Fighting Robot

    ...

    ...

    ...

    "...Jack?"

    "What? What do you want?"

    "You said you'd narrate this chapter."

    ".....I knew that," said Jack, who was twice as handsome as the narrator. The narrator buried his ugly face in his hand in disgust.

    "I don't know how I let you talk me into this," mumbled the sloppy narrator.

    "What do you mean, let me talk you into this?" demanded Jack. "This was your idea!"

    The narrator remained silent, as he should.

    Not long afterward, Jack and that other guy came across a tin can sitting on the dirt road. "Heh," chuckled Jack. I bet I can kick that thi-

    "Uh, excuse me," interrupted the rude narrator.

    "WHAT???" roared Jack.

    "You, uh, neglected to wrap that other sentence of yours in quotation marks," answered the narrator meekly.

    "..... I knew that," said Jack. "I was testing you. And you passed. Very good. Anyway, I bet I can kick that thing a hundred feet down this road." As if to prove his obviously right point, the handsome and athletic Jack took a running start, and kicked the can hard. However, it paused in midair, and began to grow. Once it was the size of a gas tank, it sprouted arms, legs, and a head.

    "Oh, poopy," squeaked Jack.

    "If I may," ventured the narrator, "you could've been a tad more descriptive of the can's transformation. For example, you could have described the final size of the can better as, say, roughly double the size of a barrel. A gas tank is very ambiguous, and can mean a large canister in which gas is transported, but can also mean the gas tank inside a car, which is really rather small. And-"

    "SHUT UP!" roared Jack. 'I don't need you going all nitpicky on me, OK? We have bigger problems here, in case you haven't noticed!'

    "Probably not the best time to note that your last sentence was wrapped in apostrophes rather than quotati-" The narrator was interrupted by Jack slapping his face.

    "Quiet, fool. How are we gonna get past this thing?"

    "Now, now, for all we know, it might be friendly," remarked the stupid narrator.

    "DESTROY JACK AND THE NARRATOR!" bellowed the robot.

    Jack looked at the narrator. "Does that sound friendly to you?" he asked. The narrator shook his head. "I didn't think so," said Jack.

    The robot raised its right hand, which it clenched into a fist. Jack got ready to run, expecting it to punch them. However, a hole opened up in one of its knuckles, and a pair of Poké Balls fell out. As they hit the ground, they burst open, revealing two Pokémon, a Steelix and a Metagross. Both of them were large, particularly the Steelix, who was almost as big as the narrator's mother.

    "HEY!" screamed the narrator. "That was uncalled for!" Ignoring him completely, Jack pulled from his pocket a Great Ball, when he heard that all-too-familier and very annoying sound of the narrator shuffling through his Pokémon cards. He pulled out two and began to read.

    "Steelix, the Iron Snake Pokémon, and the evolved form of Onix. Steelix's body is extremely hard, as a result of it having been underground for hundreds of years. Metagross, the Iron Leg Pokémon, and the evolved form of Metang. Metagross possesses four brains, which makes its intelligence rival that of a supercomputer."

    Jack looked at him as if he was stupid, which he was. "You need to find yourself a girl, mate," he remarked.

    "Oh, do shut up. What have you got there?"

    "A Pokémon that's gonna save our asses!" With that, Jack threw the ball, revealing a Primeape.

    "I should have known," groaned the narrator. "Mr. Short Fuse over here owns a Pokémon version of himself. Oh, well. Croagunk, go!" The narrator tossed the Poké Ball containing his new Croagunk, and then, as if instinctively, pulled out his cards again. Jack groaned loud and long as the narrator began reading. "Primeape, the Pig Monkey Pokémon, and the evolved form of Mankey. Primeape is known for its short temper and extreme mood swings. Extreme caution is advised when training."

    Jack then said "Yeah, that's great and all, but look!"

    The narrator looked up to see that while he and Jack were yapping away, both Croagunk and Primeape had been KOed.

    "HAW, HAW," guffawed the robot. "YOU WASTE YOUR TIME BLABBERING, SO MY STEELIX IS CRUSH YOU POKEMON!"

    Wordlessly, Jack and the narrator recalled their badly hurt Pokémon. Jack turned to the narrator and said, "OK, I give. I can't narrate to save my life. You take over!"

    The devilishly handsome narrator smiled and said "Very well, sir. And I hope you learned a lesson from all thi-YEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOW!"

    For at that moment, upon the words "devilishly handsome narrator", the narrator's Croagunk saw fit to exit its Poké Ball in a flash of light, and stick its purple glowing fingers into the narrator's stomach.

    "Oh, no...." groaned the narrator, as he held out aforementioned Poké Ball, returning Croagunk to it in a beam of red energy.

    "Yeah, yeah, you can go on about your Brock-esque Croagunk later," snapped Jack. "What do we do about the robot?!" At this, the narrator grinned slyly.

    "I have an idea," he said. "It has a great chance of succeeding, and should it succeed, our robot problems will be over."

    "I'm liking this so far," said Jack. "Go on."

    In response, the narrator dug deep into his left front pants pocket, and extracted a small metal cube, roughly the size of half a brick. It had a large red button built into one side.

    "What is it?" asked Jack, somewhat dubious of the item's usefulness.

    "It's a plot device," explained the narrator. "When I press the red button, a usually unusual and otherwise inexplicable event will occur, allowing us to overcome whatever difficulty we face. Unfortunately, I only have the one, but I see no alternative for our current situation. You'll understand that we'll stand little chance against Missingno. Master should we first be crushed by a giant fighting robot and its massive Pokémon."

    "Enough chatter, hit the damn button!" Jack practically screeched. The narrator jabbed his right thumb into the center of the red button. Almost immediately, the plot device began to glow. Suddenly, Jack felt the back of his pants begin to rise. "What the-?!" Jack exclaimed in horror.

    "Jack, it's the Master Ball!" exclaimed the narrator.

    "IT'S GIVING ME A WEDGIE!" screamed Jack in an unnaturally high voice. Quite suddenly, the Master Ball detached from his belt, allowing Jack to return to the ground in an abrupt and uncomfortable manner. A red beam of light blasted forth from the ball's button, stretching over the horizon for a second before retracting. The ball then fell, straight into Jack's hand. At that point, the plot device vanished in a puff of black smoke. Almost at once, Jack realized what had happened. He threw the Master Ball, practically giddy.

    In a flash of light, and a flurry of stars, Jack's shiny Rayquaza materialized before them. It saw the giant fighting robot, plus Steelix and Metagross, and sprang into action. It shot a stream of flames at Metagross. Metagross, however, began to hover, and then spin, zooming towards Rayquaza. However, Metagross's Gyro Ball was no match for Rayquaza's Flamethrower. Next thing Jack knew, the Iron Leg Pokémon was burned to a crisp. Seeing this, Steelix sprang forward and shot a beam of yellow energy from its mouth. Not even awaiting orders, Rayquaza responded with its own Hyper Beam. The result was a collision of attacks, a massive explosion, and an unconscious Steelix. Next, the giant fighting robot took an earth-shaking step towards Rayquaza. In response, Rayquaza briefly emitted a glow, and then seemed to multiply.

    "That's Rayquaza's Double Team," murmured the sexy narrator.

    As Croagunk emerged from its ball to assault its trainer, the Rayquaza clones, plus the original, wrapped their tails around the robot, and flew off into space with it. As soon as they left, Jack's Master Ball also vanished. Seeing this, Jack glared angrily at the narrator, who had returned Croagunk to its Poké Ball, and was still reeling from his second Poison Jab of the day.

    "Did-did I mention that the plot device usually has a negative side effect on whatever it effected?"

    Jack shook his head, still glaring.

    "I didn't think so. No hard feelings on that count, then?"

    Jack continued to shake his head.

    "I didn't think so. You're not going to forgive me, are you?"

    Jack shook his head even more.

    "I didn't think so."

    At that instant, Jack began chasing the narrator down the dirt road, screaming various obscenities and threatening to hire him as Primeape's personal punching bag. This went on for quite a while, until the narrator skidded to a halt. Jack, having not expected this, smashed into him, knocking him down.

    "What's the big idea, just stopping like tha-wha???"

    For the reason the narrator had stopped was because just before them lay a field of skyscrapers, one in particular dwarfing all the others, being thousands, if not millions, of stories high, and so wide that it seemed more like a wall than a building. The archway before them read "Welcome to Cyber Town, your gateway to the internet". On the left side of the arch, someone had scrawled in red marker, "Internet Explorer sux!"

    They had arrived.



    "Damn, damn, damn!" grunted Missingno. Master. "They even got past my giant fighting robot?! Stupid friggin' plot device." With that, Missingno. Master began typing. "I'll show them. If I have anything to say about this, those two will never leave the internet alive! GAHAHAHAHAHA!"

    ------------------------
    End of chapter three. Please rate.

        Spoiler:- Major events:



    Also, the next chapter should be up within the next two days. I hope.

    EDIT: Also, I went back and corrected what I hope to be all the grammar mistakes in Chapter 2. At least, they were all the ones you guys pointed out.
    Last edited by Missingno. Master; 8th June 2011 at 4:54 PM.

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  19. #19
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    Good chapter, the plot device thing was clever XD

    "It's a plot device," explained the narrator. "When I press the red button, a usually unusual and otherwise inexplicable event will occur, allowing us to overcome whatever difficulty we face. Unfortunately, I only have the one, but I see no alternative for our current situation. You'll understand that we'll stand little chance against Missingno. Master should we first be crushed by a giant fighting robot and its massive Pokémon."
    This is the only mistake I found, other than the intentional ones of course. You forgot to use a quotation mark before 'When'.
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  20. #20
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    Another amazing piece of work, Missigno. Master, however, there is something I'm confused about:

    The narrator raised its right hand, which it clenched into a fist. Jack got ready to run, expecting it to punch them. However, a hole opened up in one of its knuckles, and a pair of Poké Balls fell out. As they hit the ground, they burst open, revealing two Pokémon, a Steelix and a Metagross. Both of them were large, particularly the Steelix, who was almost as big as the narrator's mother.
    Bolded Part: Do you meant the Robot, because I was confused there until I replaced "narrator" with "robot".
    Underlined Part: Hilarious =D

    I look forward to your next part of it!


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  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by starliteevee View Post
    Another amazing piece of work, Missigno. Master, however, there is something I'm confused about:



    Bolded Part: Do you meant the Robot, because I was confused there until I replaced "narrator" with "robot".
    Underlined Part: Hilarious =D

    I look forward to your next part of it!
    Glad you caught that, yes, it was supposed to say robot.

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  22. #22
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    Talking

    "Did-did I mention that the plot device usually has a negative side effect on whatever it effected?"

    Jack shook his head, still glaring.

    "I didn't think so. No hard feelings on that count, then?"

    Jack continued to shake his head.

    "I didn't think so. You're not going to forgive me, are you?"

    Jack shook his head even more.

    "I didn't think so."
    My all-time favorite character would have to be the narrator. xD

    Jack did an okay-ish job at narrating. The narrator does a better job, in my opinion.

    "Oh, poopy," squeaked Jack.
    Jack is a rather interesting individual xD

    Both of them were large, particularly the Steelix, who was almost as big as the narrator's mother.

    "HEY!" screamed the narrator. "That was uncalled for!"
    *gasp* That was definitely uncalled for! One must not refer to another's mother in such a way! How very rude of Jack xP

    Next, the giant fighting Robot took an earth-shaking step towards Rayquaza.
    Was this meant to be capitalized? I noticed that the "r" was lowercased in previous paragraphs.

    Anyway, great job! It kept me laughing! This fic is enjoyable! It's nice to see they already made it to Cyber Town. (The Internet Explorer thing made me laugh xD So true. No offense to Internet Explorer.) The only thing I suggest is that Jack shouldn't slap the narrator so frequently. Instead, maybe he could use different actions, such as punching. He slaps him quite often. (Poor narrator Dx)

    Anyway, EXCELLENT! =DDDDDD

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reisude View Post
    Was this meant to be capitalized? I noticed that the "r" was lowercased in previous paragraphs.
    Thanks for catching that, no, the "r" was not supposed to be capitalized.

    Quote Originally Posted by Reisude View Post
    Anyway, great job! It kept me laughing! This fic is enjoyable! It's nice to see they already made it to Cyber Town. (The Internet Explorer thing made me laugh xD So true. No offense to Internet Explorer.)
    And the ironic thing is, I use Internet Explorer myself!

    Quote Originally Posted by Reisude View Post
    The only thing I suggest is that Jack shouldn't slap the narrator so frequently. Instead, maybe he could use different actions, such as punching. He slaps him quite often. (Poor narrator Dx)

    Anyway, EXCELLENT! =DDDDDD
    Yeah, I agree, Jack shouldn't be slapping the narrator that much. However, as you've undoubtedly noticed, Croagunk's been slowly taking over that role.

    I'll try to have the next chapter up by tomorrow morning, but I can't garuntee anything. It'll definitely be up by Tuesday, though, you can be sure.

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  24. #24
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    lol, no worries Intelligence. I get really annoyed when people refer to british people like that as well. Like 'the parent trap'. Apart from crap acting on lindsey lohan's part, it was just shitty steryotipical-ness. I love the story though! ^^ As in, this story, not 'TPT'
    The eye of the storm, centre of the all rage;
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    P.S. Yami Ryu, if you're reading this, I'd just like to tell you that you have the same birthday as The Queen! ;D

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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Missingno. Master View Post
    Thanks for catching that, no, the "r" was not supposed to be capitalized.


    And the ironic thing is, I use Internet Explorer myself!



    Yeah, I agree, Jack shouldn't be slapping the narrator that much. However, as you've undoubtedly noticed, Croagunk's been slowly taking over that role.

    I'll try to have the next chapter up by tomorrow morning, but I can't garuntee anything. It'll definitely be up by Tuesday, though, you can be sure.
    Really?! I use FireFox. I haven't used Internet Explorer in forever.

    Haha xD Yes, the Croagunk, reminding me (and this was also mentioned in the story) of Brock and his Croagunk. And no pressure on the next chapter. I'm looking forward to it =DDDD

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