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Thread: The Adventure of Adventureness

  1. #1576
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhantomDragon View Post
    To be completely honest with you, I still haven't finished reading this, but the whole thing about Klang farting made me laugh so much I couldn't wait any longer to comment. XD

    Missingno. Master, you are a genius of geniusness at writing comedy. I think the Chapter Title's Guy's Mudkip has been one of the best so far (I'm still reading the third one)...no. Who am I kidding, THE WHOLE SHEBANG IS AMAZING OF AMAZINGNESS!!!

    Sorry I haven't finished reading, and therefore can't appreciate the Epic of Epicness, but I massively look forward to reading it.

    Also, can I please sig the above quote? I will put a refernce to this thread of threadness with much happiness.
    Glad to see that you like what you've read so far, and I have a feeling that the Epic of Epicness will not disappoint you.

    And you can certainly sig the above quote if you want.


    Also, an update on the upcoming chapter; it's coming along, slowly but surely. I've finished the title and am well into the chapter itself. Been slowed down by several things- household chores, school, playing Pokémon... And yesterday, uploading images of my brand new Shiny Gastly, and cursing out ImageShack- apparently, now they force you to register. I've been uploading updated versions of my Shiny banner there along with Arceus knows what else for years, and only now they force me to register.

    Ahem. But I digress. tl;dr; chapter's coming along fine. Might be out by the end of the week, but I can't make any guarantees.

    I HAVE CLAIMED WEEZING. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY.
    The Hoenn of Hoenness- Chapter 5 up now!
    404 Error 2: File Not Found- Chapter 12 up now!
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    Banner done by me. I do not do requests. The Shinies are not up for trade.

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  2. #1577
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    Major apologies for the large delay in getting this chapter up. There's been a lot going on, and even in my free time I rarely felt up to writing. But, at long last, here it is, chapter 17!

    Chapter 17: Jack Is Insanely Aweseome, Just So Awesome, That Nobody Can Come Close To His Awesome Awesome Awesomeness. He Is So Freaking Awesome That You Will Not Believe How Awesomely Awesome His Awesome Awesomeness Is. His Awesome Awesomeness Is So Awesomely Awesome Of Awesomeness That You Puny Mortals Have No Chance Of Coming Close To Coming Close To His Awesome Awesome Of Awesomeness.

    Damn, It's Good To Be Doing This Again! You Know, It's Been A Long Time Since The Last Time I Was Able To Do A Chapter Title Like This!

    Yes, We Know, Sir, Now Please End It And Let's Get On With The Chapt-

    Quiet, You. I Haven't Been Able To Do This In Ages, No Thanks To You, And I Intend To Drag This Out For As Long As Possible. Now Then, Jack's Awesome Awesomeness Of Awesomeness Is Surpassed Only By His Muscular Physique. He Is Very Muscular And Very Buff And Very Sexy And All The Ladies Want Him. But They Can't Have Him, Because He Has A Hot Girlfriend, Misty. Who Is Hot.

    Jack Is Awesome, Just So Awesome, The Awesome Of Awesomeness. He Always Was Awesome But Now Is Even More Awesome Because Now He Has A Hot Girlfriend, Misty. Nobody Else Can Even Come Close To Jack's Awesome Awesome Of Awesomeness. Jack Is Also An Awesome Pokémon Trainer Who Trains Awesome Pokémon Such As Pignite, Nidorino, Woobat, Pansage, And Basculin, That Form Of Basculin With The Red Stripe. And The Narrator Has A Huge Hole In His Pants.

    Jack Is Awesome, Just So Awesome, The Awesome Of Awesomeness. And Yes, That's How The First Paragraph Started, But It Is Just So Awesomely True That It Bears Repeating. The Only Person Who Can Come Close To Jack's Awesome Awesome Of Awesomeness Is Misty, His Hot Girlfriend. And The Narrator Has A Huge Hole In His Pants.

    Jack Is Awesome, Just So Awesome, The Awesome Of Awesomeness. He Has A Hot Girlfriend, Misty, Who Is Also Awesome As Well. She Is Also Awesome, But Jack Is So Awesome That Nobody Other Than Misty Can Compare Or Come Close To His Awesome Awesome Awesome Awesome Of Awesomeness. That's How Awesomely Awesome Awesome Of Awesomeness Jack Is. And The Narrator Has A Huge Hole In His Pants.

    Jack Is Awesome, Just So Awesome, The Awesome Of Awesomeness. So Awesome Is His Awesome Of Awesomeness That He Can Defeat People With A Single JAAAACK PAAAAWNCH Which He Is Currently Teaching His Hot Girlfriend Misty How To Do. Jack Is More Awesome Than Mere Mortals Can Process And Is So Awesome That He Tried To Enter An Awesome Contest But Wasn't Allowed To Because They Don't Allow Professionals To Participate. And The Narrator Has A Huge Hole In His Pants.

    Jack Is Awesome, Just So Awesome, The Awesome Of Awesomeness. He Has A Hot Girlfriend, Misty. He Is Awesome, Just So Freakin' Awesome. And The Narrator Has A Huge Hole In His Pants.

    Jack Is Awesome, Just So Awesome, The Awesome Of Awesomeness. He Has A Hot Girlfriend, Misty. And The Narrator Has A Huge Hole In His Pants.

    Jack Is Awesome, Just So Awesome, The Awesome Of Awesomeness. He Has A Hot Girlfriend, Misty. And The Narrator Has A Huge Hole In His Pants.

    Jack Is Awesome, Just So Awesome, The Awesome Of Awesomeness. He Has A Hot Girlfriend, Misty. And The Narrator Has A Huge Hole In His Pants.

    Jack Is Awesome, Just So Awesome, The Awesome Of Awesomeness. He Has A Hot Girlfriend, Misty. And The Narrator Has A Huge Hole In His Pants.

    Jack Is Awesome, Just So Awesome, The Awesome Of Awesomeness. He Has A Hot Girlfriend, Misty. And The Narrator Has A Huge Hole In His Pants.

    Jack Is Awesome, Just So Awesome, The Awesome Of Awesomeness. He Has A Hot Girlfriend, Misty. And The Narrator Has A Huge Hole In His-

    Sir, What Are You Going On About? Your Pignite, Woobat, Nidorino, And Pansage All Evolved Already, And I Do Not Have A Hole In My Pants, Huge Or Otherwise.

    I Know That, Dummy. I Was Borrowing From The Chapter Title I Did For Chapter 13 Of The Random Of Randomness. One Of My Personal Favorites. Mainly Because I Was Repeatedly Drawing Attention To The Huge Hole You Had In Your Pants, And The Embarrassingly Colored Pink And Yellow Striped Boxer Shorts It Revealed. Oh, And Because It Gave Me A Legitimate Excuse To Mention How Hot Misty Is.

    Sir, Is The Chapter Title Really The Best Place For That Sort Of-

    JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNCH!

    Ow!

    It Serves You Right, Yucky.

    STOP CALLING ME THAT, SIR!

    Yucky! Yucky! Yucky!

    Have I Mentioned How Much I Love Your Pokédex, Yucky?

    Shut Up, Sir. Are You Quite Finished With The Chapter Title?

    You Know What? If It'll Shut You Up, Then Yes.
    --------------
    "Finally!" Yucky groaned in a not-so-funky-fresh manner and a voice that reeked of harshness and garlic. "And my name is not Yucky!" he added in a so very annoyed and irritated tone of non-rhythmic voice that sounded very much like childish whining.

    "You know something?" Jack chuckled in a manner which had a slight rhythm to it. "I just might enjoy this chapter after all, as long as... er... Hey, what's Miror B.'s Pokédex's model number anyway?"

    "Good question, sir," Yucky replied in an oh-so surprised voice, clearly shocked that Jack would ask something so refreshingly intelligent.

    "My Pokédex's model number is 3.9," Miror B. answered in his funky-fresh and groovy voice which always seemed to be bursting with rhythm even when he was not singing anything. "So, how are we gonna do this, then?"

    The reason for Miror B. asking such a groovily prudent question was due to the fact that the group had boogied their way down to the funky-fresh battlefield in order to-

    "Alright, alright, I can't take it anymore!" Jack roared ever so rudely, interrupting the fabulous, stylish, and happening 3.9. "I'll take over the narration now, if you don't mind! Actually, scratch that- whether or not you mind!"

    "I beg to freaking differ, sir," said Yucky in a not-so-groovy tone of voice. "...er, actually, you may have a point. I was going to say you should stick to your deal, but really, I'm starting to not like 3.9's narration either. But as long as I am here, you will never narrate again!"

    "Now what is wrong with you all?" demanded the stylish and funky-fresh Miror B. "My Pokédex is handling the narration in an oh-so groovy manner, and you want to bail because you can't keep up with its beat?"

    "Can I try narrating?" asked the beautiful Misty in a voice which-

    "Yes, great idea!" Jack interrupted in such a rude manner. "Misty, you narrate. You'll be great."

    "OK," smiled Misty as she took over the narration. Hey, this is pretty easy- oh! Oops, sorry, sorry. Quotation marks, I know. Ahem. "Hey, this is pretty easy, Misty said-" RRRRRGH!

    "I'm sorry," Yucky said, smirking snidely. "What was that? What's pretty easy?"

    "Shut up,' growled Misty.

    "Apostrophe," replied Yucky. "You used an apostrophe in place of a quotation ma-"

    "I said SHUT UP!" roared Misty as she slapped Yucky's face, sending him falling to the floor.

    "Nice," grinned Jack. "Don't listen to Yucky, Misty. You're doing great."

    "Thanks," beamed Misty as she embraced her cute boyfriend. The hug then led to kissing-

    "Oh, come on, get a room, you two!" Yucky rudely interrupted.

    "Um," said Hector, "I hate to interrupt, but weren't we gonna work on my Arbok and Scizor?"

    "Ah, yes!" Yucky exclaimed as he climbed back to his feet, then shot Misty a dirty look. "I can't believe I'm saying this," he added, "But I'm actually looking forward to the part of the chapter where Psyduck narrates."

    "There is nothing wrong with my hot girlfriend's narration!" snarled Jack, stomping over to Yucky and glaring at him.

    "Oh, sure, you'd say that, sir," Yucky scoffed. "She called you cute. She called me Yucky!"

    "Suck it up, we all call you Yucky," put in Cheeseball.

    "That's not my name!" roared Yucky.

    "OK, then," Jack retorted. "Why not tell us what your name is, and we'll go with that instead? Go on, now."

    Yucky fell silent, though continued to glare at Jack.

    "OK, now that that's all settled," Jack declared, Hector, send out- uh, Misty?

    "Sorry, sorry," Misty groaned.

    "Hector," Jack tried again, "send out Arbok and Scizor, OK?"

    "Got it," nodded Hector, throwing two Poké Balls into the air. "Arbok, Scizor, come on out!"

    In twin flashes of light, Hector's Arbok and Scizor materialized. Upon spotting Jack, Arbok hissed menacingly and Scizor clicked its pincers threateningly.

    "No, guy, no!" Hector protested. "They're our friends now. They're gonna help you guys get stronger."

    "OK, here's my suggestion," Jack stated. "We each battle you, Hector. Double battle. Battling's the best way to make your Pokémon stronger."

    "If only one of us had an Audino, sir!" Yucky exclaimed suddenly. "Remember, back in Unova?"

    Jack nodded, as he did indeed remember the seemingly forgettable pink-and-yellow Normal-types that when defeated, would cause their conquerors to rise dramatically in level. Jack then turned to face Miror B.; more specifically, his afro.

    "Hey... Miror B.?" Jack asked. "I don't suppose you...?"

    "None that I can get to, Jack," answered Miror B. "I can put the word out to Captain Follicle to catch me one, but that sort of thing generally takes him a few days. I somewhat doubt we got that kind of time."

    "Try it anyway," Yucky suggested. "Even if it does come too late, at least that's one more Pokémon we got for the final showdown. Audino can learn a very wide range of attacks, so it would definitely be a good idea."

    "I'll do that, then," Miror B. responded as he pulled a cell phone out of his afro, punched in a number, and held it up to his ear. "Hello? Captain, how's it hanging? Miror B. Yes, look, I need a favor, if it's all right with you. An Audino. Yes, Audino. Why, what did you think I was gonna ask for? Oh, no, no, no, I was not! You depend on my afro for your very survival and you thought I wanted a Pokémon made entirely of blades? Well, think about these things next time, man! Give me a heads-up when you send the Audino to my storage system, OK? Bye!"

    "What did Captain Follicle think you wanted him to catch?" asked Yucky.

    "A Pawniard," replied Miror B. in a distasteful voice as he placed the phone back in his afro. "Captain Follicle is a good friend, but honestly, sometimes he just doesn't think. Now then, the battles. Who will go first?"

    "I will," Jack stated.

    "Oh, dear Arceus," Hector groaned. "Please don't use Mudkip."

    "Relax," Jack replied. "The point is to make your Pokémon stronger. Overpowering them horrifically would be somewhat counterproductive."

    "Very well, then," Yucky stated as Jack and Hector took their places on either end of the battlefield. "This will be a double battle against Pokémon Trainer Jack from Megabyteburg and Chapter Title Guy Hector from..."

    "Cyber Town," Hector finished.

    "And Chapter Title Guy Hector from Cyber Town," Yucky said. "Let the battle begin!"

    "Alrighty, then!" declared Miror B. as he whipped his radio out of his afro and pressed a button on it, causing his funky disco battle music to play. "Let the music play!"

    Jack took out his Pokédex, pressed a few buttons, and put it back. Then, he took two Poké Balls off his belt, enlarged them, and threw them. "Scrafty, Scolipede, let's go!" he shouted.

    In twin bursts of light, Jack's Scrafty and Scolipede materialized. Scrafty hitched up its baggy "pants"; Scolipede merely glared down at its two opponents.

    "Arbok, use Fire Fang on Scolipede!" ordered Hector. "Scizor, hit Scrafty with Silver Wind!"

    "Zor!" exclaimed Scizor as it beat its wings furiously, unleashing a gust of silvery wind. Arbok, mouth ablaze, lunged at Scolipede.

    "Scolipede, use Rock Climb on Arbok! Scrafty, Dragon Dance!" Jack commanded.

    Scolipede gave a shrill cry, and an orb of white light formed between its horns. Then, from the orb exploded forth four thin beams of energy. The beams arced in midair, and struck the ground, each one creating a large boulder where it landed. The one that landed furthest from Scolipede formed the boulder on Arbok, pinning it in place. As Scrafty began glowing light blue and spinning around, Scolipede lunged forward, leaping from rock to rock. Each rock exploded as Scolipede landed on it, propelling it forward to the next rock. As Scolipede landed on the final rock, the resultant explosion sent Arbok flying into the wall behind Hector.

    "Arbok is unable to battle!" declared Yucky.

    "Scizor, try Bullet Punch!" called Hector as he withdrew his now-unconscious Arbok.

    "Scrafty, Drain Punch!" Jack yelled.

    Scizor and Scrafty lunged at each other, Scizor's pincers glowing red, Scrafty's right fist covered in swirling green and yellow streaks of energy. The two collided in midair. To Jack's astonishment, Scizor fended off Scrafty's fist with one pincer, then slammed it with the other pincer, sending the Hoodlum Pokémon flying backwards and landing at Jack's feet. Scrafty picked itself up almost immediately, however, and glared at Scizor.

    "That's the spirit, Scrafty," grinned Jack as he exchanged a high-five with the Dark/Fighting-type. "Now use Headbutt. Scolipede, Steamroller!"

    "Scolipeeeede!" roared Scolipede as it curled its massive form into a wheel-like shape that was still taller than anyone in the room not named Miror B. It then glowed green and proceeded to roll towards Scizor. Scrafty ran alongside, preparing to headbutt its enemy.

    "Scizor, blow them back with Silver Wind!" called Hector in desperation.

    Scizor beat its wings furiously, sending a silvery dust flying at its attackers. Though Scrafty was pushed back a bit by the attack, however, Scolipede seemed unaffected, and rolled right over Scizor, knocking it out.

    "Scizor is unable to battle!" Yucky declared. "The winner of this match is Jack from Megabyteburg!"

    "DAMN IT!" groaned Hector as he withdrew Scizor. Miror B. pressed a button on his radio and the music stopped.

    "Good battle, Hector," Jack grinned as he withdrew Scolipede and Scrafty.

    "Yeah, yeah," sighed Hector. "Why can't I win without using my Mudkip?!"

    "Well, let's examine your Arbok and Scizor, shall we?" Yucky asked. "And Misty, I think I should take over the narration once more."

    "Why?" giggled Misty. "Calling you Yucky is too much fun!"

    "That's sort of the point," Yucky grumbled as Jack and Misty began to kiss. Hector then cleared his throat, catching Yucky's attention once more.

    "So... My Pokémon?" Hector prompted him.

    "Ah, yes!" the narrator responded, taking over the narration. "Let me take a look." And he took out his Pokédex as Hector threw the two Poké Balls into the air, unleashing his exhausted Arbok and Scizor back into the open.

    "Awbok, the Cobwa Pokeemon, and the evowved fowm of Ekans," cooed the narrator's Pokédex. "Awbok's powewfuw tail can cwush steel dwums wiff ease. It injects potent venom wiff evwy bite. Scizow, the Pincew Pokeemon, and the evowved fowm of Scyffer. Scizow's pincews, which contain steew, can cwush anything it gwabs into bits."

    "OK, now," smiled the narrator, "How about telling us the attacks those Arbok and Scizor know?"

    "OK, Yucky!" exclaimed the Pokédex. The narrator facepalmed. "Awbok's attacks: Gwawe, Poison Tail, Fiwe Fang. Scizow's attacks: Silvew Wind, Dubbew Hit, Buwwet Punch."

    "Well, then," the narrator stated as he put his Pokédex away, "This certainly explains quite a bit. You rely quite heavily on Scizor's Silver Wind, when in reality, Scizor's Special Attack is not that good. Its Bullet Punch and Double Hit are really quite powerful, especially when you factor in Technician. The same could be said for Silver Wind, but Technician's boost does not compensate for the naturally low power Scizor puts behind its special attacks."

    "So what, I should teach Scizor a physical Bug-type move?" asked Hector.

    "I think that would be best," nodded the narrator.

    "That's your cue, now," Jack said to his Pokédex. "List of all the physical Bug moves Scizor can learn, OK?"

    "Coming up, Jack," replied his Pokédex. "Scizor can learn the following physical Bug-type moves: Fury Cutter-"

    "I don't recommend that," Cheeseball interrupted. Fury Cutter gets a little stronger every time it hits, but it's just too weak. It'll take too much time before it's worth anything in terms of power."

    "As I was saying," Jack's Pokédex continued, a tinge of annoyance noticeable in its electronic voice, "Fury Cutter, X-Scissor, U-Turn, and Bug Bite. Of the four moves, X-Scissor is the most powerful."

    "Hang on, though," the narrator said suddenly. "Isn't Bug Bite just weak enough to take advantage of Technician?"

    "Huh," the Pokédex replied. "You know something? It is! Let me run the numbers a second here... Well, what do you know? Turns out, a Bug Bite boosted by Technician would actually be stronger than X-Scissor, given that Technician doesn't affect a powerful move like X-Scissor."

    "So it's settled, then," Jack declared. "We'll teach Scizor Bug Bite."

    "How, though?" asked Cheeseball. "I don't think any of us has a Pokémon that knows Bug Bite."

    "That's not true, actually," said his Pokédex. "There is one Pokémon.

    "What, Missingno. Master's Weedle?" snorted Miror B. "I somewhat doubt that's a viable option."

    "Nope," replied Cheeseball's Pokédex. "More like, Jack's Shedinja."

    At this, all eyes turned to face Jack, whose own eyes widened in surprise.

    "Seriously?" asked Jack.

    "Seriously," replied his own Pokédex.

    "HE WASN'T ASKING YOU!" roared Cheeseball's Pokédex in all caps.

    "Hey! Poopy Pokeedex! Shut the *BLEEP* up!" exclaimed the narrator's Pokédex suddenly.

    A stunned silence followed this profane outburst from a baby Pokédex.

    "3.7!" exclaimed Jack's Pokédex. "Where did you learn such appalling language?!"

    "Fwom Jack," replied the baby Pokédex.

    "But how?!" spluttered 3.3. "I bleep everything out!"

    "Not the offscreen, between-chapter stuff, you don't," Jack grinned. "That stuff doesn't make it into chapters, so any profanity within wouldn't affect the story's rating."

    "Sir, your Shedinja?" the narrator reminded him.

    "Oh, yeah," Jack stated, taking a Poké Ball off his belt, enlarging it, and throwing it. "Shedinja! Come on out!"

    In a flash of light- OWIEEE!

    "I told you to stop SAYING that!" growled Jack as his Shedinja emerged from its Poké Ball and hovered in midair, remaining motionless.

    "Did you need to kick me like that, though?" snapped the narrator, clutching his abdomen.

    "Yes," Jack replied bluntly. "OK, Shedinja, I want you to go over to Scizor and try to teach it how to use Bug Bite.

    "Dinja," replied Shedinja in a nearly monotonous voice as it drifted over to Scizor.

    "Right, then, now as for Arbok," the narrator continued, "I think I have two good solutions for it- Earthquake and Coil."

    "Coil?" asked Jack.

    "Doesn't your Arbok know Coil, sir?" asked the narrator in surprise.

    "Well, no," Jack replied.

    "It's true," added Jack's Pokédex.

    "Well, my Serperior does," the narrator replied as he took a Poké Ball off his belt and enlarged it.

    "What does Coil do, anyway?" asked Hector.

    "Yeah, I'd like to know this myself," Jack added.

    "Coil is a Poison-type move which increases the user's Attack, Defense, and accuracy," the narrator responded. "Now then, what about Earthquake?"

    "If I hadn't released Dugtrio, we could've used that," Jack sighed.

    "Well, actually," Miror B. began as he reached into his afro, "I do believe I have just the thing right here!" And he pulled a disc out of his afro and tossed it to Jack.

    "'Miror B.'s Greatest Battle Hits'?" Jack read off the label.

    "Whoops!" Miror B. exclaimed as he swiped the CD from Jack's hands, stuffed it back into his afro, then retrieved a light brown disc.

    "Now what's that?" asked the narrator.

    "One TM26," Miror B. declared proudly. "Obtained from the uncool and oh-so villainous former Gym Leader of Viridian City, the late Giovanni. Good for teaching Earthquake to exactly one Pokémon. Hector, here you go."

    "Let's do this, then!" exclaimed Hector as he took the TM that Miror B. handed to him, threw Arbok's Poké Ball into the air, and placed the TM on Arbok's forehead as soon as the light faded. He then pressed the transparent button in the center of the disc, and Arbok began to glow with a bright light that faded away just as quickly. The TM then fell to the floor.

    "Done!" exclaimed Miror B. "Arbok's learned Earthquake!"

    "Hey," Jack said suddenly. "When I used the TM on Dugtrio, it just stayed in its body, because it was a one-use only TM. This one, though, what's stopping us from using it again?"

    As if in response, a mechanical voice sounded from the technical machine; "TM26 self-destruct sequence activated. Prepare for detonation in 3... 2... 1..."

    "Oh, poopy," squeaked Jack.

    KA-BOOOOM!!

    The TM exploded with great force, as evidenced by the bold, italicized, underlined, size seven font. Everyone ducked as shards of TM flew in every direction, Hector hastily calling Arbok back to its Poké Ball. As everyone got back up, it was clear that no actual damage had been done, though no fewer than seven TM shards were poking out of Miror B.'s afro.

    "I think we should stick to throwing the TMs in future, sir," the narrator suggested.

    "No, you think?" responded Jack sarcastically. "OK, now what?"

    "Now we check on Shedinja and Scizor," Hector stated, as he walked over to where the two Bug-types were.

    A pair of glowing green fangs sprouted out of Shedinja's... er... face. Shedinja then swooped down on a nearby rock, striking it with the fangs and shattering it into pieces.

    "Wow," Jack stated. "Nice one, Shedinja."

    "Dinja dinja. Shedinja!" Shedinja said to Scizor, who nodded, and opened its mouth, revealing several rows of small yet sharp teeth. Scizor's teeth then began to glow green, and it dove down onto another rock and bit at it. This one, however, was not shattered; indeed, Scizor howled with pain, backed off from the rock, and slammed it with Bullet Punch instead.

    "OK, looks like Scizor needs a bit more practice," Cheeseball stated.

    "Gasp! I never would have guessed!" Jack replied with even more sarcasm to how he answered the narrator earlier.

    "Sir, you're acting awfully sarcastic lately," the narrator stated.

    "Your problem being?" was Jack's response.

    The narrator opened his mouth to answer when a funky disco beat resounded from within Miror B.'s afro.

    "Ah!" exclaimed Miror B. "My phone!" He reached into his afro, withdrew his cell phone, and answered. "Hello? Captain, how's it going? Oho! Well, thank you very much! What moves does it know? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What else? What do you mean, that's all. Are you telling me that my new Audino can only use Pound, Growl, and DoubleSlap?! What the hell, man? OK, OK, I can work around it. Thanks again. Bye."

    Looking thoroughly disgusted, Miror B. threw his cell phone back into his afro. A loud crashing noise could be heard from within.

    "So you have an Audino now, Miror B.?" asked the narrator.

    "...Pound, Growl, and DoubleSlap," muttered Miror B. "Hmm? Wha? Oh, yes! Yes, Captain Follicle pulled through. Only problem is, this Audino only knows three attacks."

    A loud crashing noise from behind them made the whole group turn around, just in time to see Scizor screaming a long stream of what Jack's Pokédex confirmed to be intense profanity at a rock before destroying it with Bullet Punch.

    "Yeah," Jack stated. "Audino's attacks. That's our only problem."
    --------------
    End of Chapter 17.

        Spoiler:- Major events:

    I HAVE CLAIMED WEEZING. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY.
    The Hoenn of Hoenness- Chapter 5 up now!
    404 Error 2: File Not Found- Chapter 12 up now!
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    Banner done by me. I do not do requests. The Shinies are not up for trade.

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  3. #1578
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    Hmmm. The chapter was good, though for some reason I felt the humour was...kind of forced. It might be just me though. Still, I liked it.

    Keep going!
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    I'd squeak, too, and I'm merely a year older than she is. Hey, and 18 year olds squeal, too. :P I know I do.

    Eighteen year olds actually squeal in USA. IT'S A CONSPIRACY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD USING SQUEALS OF EIGHTEEN YEAR OLDS!



    Credits to Gladeshadow!

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  4. #1579
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    Well, this chapter was definatly worth the wait!
    ack Is Awesome, Just So Awesome, The Awesome Of Awesomeness. And Yes, That's How The First Paragraph Started, But It Is Just So Awesomely True That It Bears Repeating. The Only Person Who Can Come Close To Jack's Awesome Awesome Of Awesomeness Is Misty, His Hot Girlfriend. And The Narrator Has A Huge Hole In His Pants.
    I would usualy quote the entire part, but due to Jack's awesome (of awesomeness) chapter titles, I only put in what I think sums up the entire story. The narrator part just made me laugh.
    It Serves You Right, Yucky.

    STOP CALLING ME THAT, SIR!

    Yucky! Yucky! Yucky!

    Have I Mentioned How Much I Love Your Pokédex, Yucky?
    Who doesn't, apart from him and spellcheck?
    "Shut up,' growled Misty.

    "Apostrophe," replied Yucky. "You used an apostrophe in place of a quotation ma-"

    "I said SHUT UP!" roared Misty as she slapped Yucky's face, sending him falling to the floor.
    Now I know why jack's her boyfriend: nobody dare's to suggest anything otherwise.
    "I'll do that, then," Miror B. responded as he pulled a cell phone out of his afro, punched in a number, and held it up to his ear. "Hello? Captain, how's it hanging? Miror B. Yes, look, I need a favor, if it's all right with you. An Audino. Yes, Audino. Why, what did you think I was gonna ask for? Oh, no, no, no, I was not! You depend on my afro for your very survival and you thought I wanted a Pokémon made entirely of blades? Well, think about these things next time, man! Give me a heads-up when you send the Audino to my storage system, OK? Bye!"

    "What did Captain Follicle think you wanted him to catch?" asked Yucky.

    "A Pawniard," replied Miror B. in a distasteful voice as he placed the phone back in his afro.
    Sounds like it would be a bit like james and carnivine/victreebel.
    Scolipede gave a shrill cry, and an orb of white light formed between its horns. Then, from the orb exploded forth four thin beams of energy. The beams arced in midair, and struck the ground, each one creating a large boulder where it landed. The one that landed furthest from Scolipede formed the boulder on Arbok, pinning it in place. As Scrafty began glowing light blue and spinning around, Scolipede lunged forward, leaping from rock to rock. Each rock exploded as Scolipede landed on it, propelling it forward to the next rock. As Scolipede landed on the final rock, the resultant explosion sent Arbok flying into the wall behind Hector.
    O.O I will never look at rock climb the same again.
    "Hey! Poopy Pokeedex! Shut the *BLEEP* up!" exclaimed the narrator's Pokédex suddenly.

    A stunned silence followed this profane outburst from a baby Pokédex.

    "3.7!" exclaimed Jack's Pokédex. "Where did you learn such appalling language?!"

    "Fwom Jack," replied the baby Pokédex.
    XD
    "Hey," Jack said suddenly. "When I used the TM on Dugtrio, it just stayed in its body, because it was a one-use only TM. This one, though, what's stopping us from using it again?"

    As if in response, a mechanical voice sounded from the technical machine; "TM26 self-destruct sequence activated. Prepare for detonation in 3... 2... 1..."

    "Oh, poopy," squeaked Jack.

    KA-BOOOOM!!
    Those games contain more danger than anybody realizes. 10 year olds going around with exploding CD's and bottles of instapop-up?
    Looking thoroughly disgusted, Miror B. threw his cell phone back into his afro. A loud crashing noise could be heard from within.
    A critical hit! The wild audino fainted. Miror B leveled up!

    A really good chapter, although I didn't get all the sarcasm. And no psyduck, unfortunatly. But lots of humor to make up for it.

    Keep it up.
    Looking for a battle, any mode. PM me if you want one.

    I am looking for:(pm me offers)


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    And in addition to the $2,500 in cash, a random audience member will receive a week's stay for two at his or her choice of any Holiday Inn. Today, there are more than 1500 Holiday Inns in the world. Go with the go-ers. Do the Inn thing. Stay at the Holiday Inn.

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    Great chapter Missingo. Master, I'm glad you got a new chapter up, I was starting to think you'd make us wait another 9 months until we could finish the fanfic. YES! Scizor, I love scizor.
    † I am a Christian and proud of it! Copy and paste this if you are too.†



    Christianity is a Relationship with our true God, Jesus. It's not a Religion. Copy and paste If you agree

    Registeel is mine, yay!

    Adventure of Adventureness & Awesome of Awesomeness: Smashing the 4th wall into gazillion pieces since 2010. - Sig too long, so Mod a cropped it

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    In the chapter title, It said that he trained a pignite. He trains Emboar though. Did you do this on purpose?
    Shinies:

    Quote Originally Posted by Profesco
    Listen to PerseusRad.
    http://i.imgur.com/EUkIomS.jpg

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    New chapterness, awesome!

    Jack's chapter titles are the best, and I'm not just saying that out of fear of Jack, I mean it.

    A battle for Hector, exploding TMs, weak Audinos, several shifts in narration of which 3.9's was the best, and wonderful role models for the babydex.

    Short on time, but this was a great chapter as always.

    KA-BOOOOM!!
    I couldn't resist, the temptation was too much.

    Anyways, until the next chapter.

    Knightfall signing off...

  8. #1583
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    Quote Originally Posted by hailflameblast View Post
    Hmmm. The chapter was good, though for some reason I felt the humour was...kind of forced. It might be just me though. Still, I liked it.

    Keep going!
    Forced? Really? Personally, I don't see it, but glad you liked it all the same!

    Quote Originally Posted by rangernumber-x View Post
    Well, this chapter was definatly worth the wait!
    Glad to hear it.

    Quote Originally Posted by rangernumber-x View Post
    Who doesn't, apart from him and spellcheck?
    You've pretty much hit the nail on the head there.

    Quote Originally Posted by rangernumber-x View Post
    Sounds like it would be a bit like james and carnivine/victreebel.
    I'd imagine it more like Cacnea, myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by rangernumber-x View Post
    O.O I will never look at rock climb the same again.
    One of the things I love about writing this fanfic is that I have a use for all these images I get in my head of how I think some attacks ought to look. This is one of those. That and Grass Knot. The anime portrays it as the user psychically tying two blades of grass together and hoping they snag the opponent's foot. I had always pictured it more like a glowing Vine Whip.

    Quote Originally Posted by rangernumber-x View Post
    XD
    With that kind of mouth, it was only a matter of time.

    Quote Originally Posted by rangernumber-x View Post
    Those games contain more danger than anybody realizes. 10 year olds going around with exploding CD's and bottles of instapop-up?
    And the Poké Balls. Don't forget, Poké Balls explode violently when they fail.

    Quote Originally Posted by rangernumber-x View Post
    A critical hit! The wild audino fainted. Miror B leveled up!
    Now you got me imagining the kind of moves Miror B. would learn by leveling up.

    Lv. 1: Round
    Lv. 1: Sing
    Lv. 8: Teeter Dance
    Lv. 14: Uproar
    Lv. 19: Quiver Dance
    Lv. 25: Head Charge
    Lv. 33: Echoed Voice
    Lv. 39: Petal Dance
    Lv. 46: Perish Song

    Quote Originally Posted by rangernumber-x View Post
    A really good chapter, although I didn't get all the sarcasm. And no psyduck, unfortunatly. But lots of humor to make up for it.

    Keep it up.
    I will, thanks! Glad you liked it.

    Quote Originally Posted by UltimatePokemonExpert View Post
    Great chapter Missingo. Master, I'm glad you got a new chapter up, I was starting to think you'd make us wait another 9 months until we could finish the fanfic. YES! Scizor, I love scizor.
    It was a 10-month wait. Either way, never gonna happen again.

    Quote Originally Posted by PerseusRad View Post
    In the chapter title, It said that he trained a pignite. He trains Emboar though. Did you do this on purpose?
    The part of the title in question Jack openly admitted to taking from another chapter title he did, word for word. That chapter was back before Jack's Pignite evolved into Emboar. Yes, it was on purpose.

    Quote Originally Posted by knightfall View Post
    New chapterness, awesome!

    Jack's chapter titles are the best, and I'm not just saying that out of fear of Jack, I mean it.

    A battle for Hector, exploding TMs, weak Audinos, several shifts in narration of which 3.9's was the best, and wonderful role models for the babydex.

    Short on time, but this was a great chapter as always.



    I couldn't resist, the temptation was too much.

    Anyways, until the next chapter.

    Knightfall signing off...
    I'm glad you liked it. And I don't blame you for quoting the extremely large "KA-BOOM", not one bit.

    A few tidbits about upcoming chapters;
    *There will be another issue the group has to face before the final battle with me. This issue hasn't yet been written into the story yet, so don't bother checking past chapters for clues.
    *The TMs Jack and Miror B. got in Kanto will see use. Most of them, anyway.
    *The final battle will feature the return of many characters, some of whom you probably won't see coming. And I'll say no more about that for now.
    *Jack will use Mudkip in at least one battle.
    *The Ghetsis "HE WAS SPEAKING FRENCH" gag and the "THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC" gag are set to return.
    *A large portion of an upcoming chapter will be narrated exclusively by Psyduck. I originally planned to handle this chapter's narration as advertised, but it kinda didn't pan out. Truth be told, it gets a tad repetitive for me to write when Psyduck is narrating.
    *Speaking of Psyduck, I've got a decent idea I might implement as far as Misty forcing its headache to intensify in order to activate its unstoppable powerhouse mode.

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    Funny parts from the chapter time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Missingno. Master View Post
    Oh, no, no, no, I was not! You depend on my afro for your very survival and you thought I wanted a Pokémon made entirely of blades? Well, think about these things next time, man! Give me a heads-up when you send the Audino to my storage system, OK? Bye!"

    "What did Captain Follicle think you wanted him to catch?" asked Yucky.

    "A Pawniard," replied Miror B. in a distasteful voice as he placed the phone back in his afro.
    I never would have though of that. So Miror B.

    "Relax," Jack replied. "The point is to make your Pokémon stronger. Overpowering them horrifically would be somewhat counterproductive."
    I don't know what wall this breaks, but it breaks something. Jack cannot know such a large word.

    "Why?" giggled Misty. "Calling you Yucky is too much fun!"
    That it is...

    "Awbok, the Cobwa Pokeemon, and the evowved fowm of Ekans," cooed the narrator's Pokédex. "Awbok's powewfuw tail can cwush steel dwums wiff ease. It injects potent venom wiff evwy bite. Scizow, the Pincew Pokeemon, and the evowved fowm of Scyffer. Scizow's pincews, which contain steew, can cwush anything it gwabs into bits."
    The Fan Fic awards should have a "Best Pokedex" award.


    "Seriously?" asked Jack.

    "Seriously," replied his own Pokédex.

    "HE WASN'T ASKING YOU!" roared Cheeseball's Pokédex in all caps.

    "Hey! Poopy Pokeedex! Shut the *BLEEP* up!" exclaimed the narrator's Pokédex suddenly.

    A stunned silence followed this profane outburst from a baby Pokédex.

    "3.7!" exclaimed Jack's Pokédex. "Where did you learn such appalling language?!"

    "Fwom Jack," replied the baby Pokédex.

    "But how?!" spluttered 3.3. "I bleep everything out!"

    "Not the offscreen, between-chapter stuff, you don't," Jack grinned. "That stuff doesn't make it into chapters, so any profanity within wouldn't affect the story's rating."
    Pokedex fight was hilarious, but you did add an extra "e" in Pokedex which i highlighted. Also, the bit after that was extremely funny.

    A pair of glowing green fangs sprouted out of Shedinja's... er... face. Shedinja then swooped down on a nearby rock, striking it with the fangs and shattering it into pieces.
    Where is this face you speak of?

    EDIT: Yes! Mr. Psychological is back.
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  10. #1585
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    [QUOTE=
    The part of the title in question Jack openly admitted to taking from another chapter title he did, word for word. That chapter was back before Jack's Pignite evolved into Emboar. Yes, it was on purpose.[/QUOTE]

    I thought so. I'm glad that Jack is such an idiot.*shot*
    Shinies:

    Quote Originally Posted by Profesco
    Listen to PerseusRad.
    http://i.imgur.com/EUkIomS.jpg

  11. #1586
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    The past few chapters have been awesome. I never expected the CTG to turn good.

    However, I had an idea for this fanfic. I have already stated this idea, but I'm not sure if you have forgotten about it or what.

    Since the story takes place in the Internet, we, as Serebii users, must be in the internet as well. Perhaps you could write some of us into the story later (not necessarily as main characters, but side characters, that only appear with their "claimed Pokemon" if they have one. An example would be "A trainer in the background threw out his Rampardos.") You don't have to use this idea, but it would be awesome if you did.
    Author thread post:
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showpos...6&postcount=80
    Claims: Archeops, Rival Silver, and Zoo Tycoon 2

    Favourite Pokémon: (etc)

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    I really do hope that you give Mudkip back to the chapter title guy (I refuse to call him Hector, as the only Hector I know is from Fire Emblem, and heavily contradicts the image of the CTG) to fight you with in the final battle.

  13. #1588
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    Jesus Christ, I am behind.

    Great new chapter! I just don't like how Jack's titles take up the whole chapter so much space. Also how he says one thing over and over, knowing that the title has to end eventually. I hate to admit it, but most of the time I Tl;dr his titles.

    Anyway, I think Gahoole has a good idea there. I know I won't be in it, even if you do it, because I barely post here. But I do think that the final issue before the final battle will involve Greevil and Miror B. somehow.
    Oh hey, I have a Nuzlocke story.
    I hath claimed the ULTIMATE TROLL!
    When an unknown infection spreads throughout Hoenn, it's up to three elite Trainers to defeat its source: Deoxys.
    Currently up to Chapter 2 of the sequel.
    Credit to Atari!
    Quote Originally Posted by Kamina
    Do you know why people have eyes at the front? It's to see the vast landscape, and to move forward. If we had eyes in the back, we'd only see ourselves leaving our birthplace. That way, people could never move forward. Our eyes are at the front, so that when we walk, the distant landscape draws closer. That's why people can move forward.

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    Man oh man with all the Black and white 2 hype, dissenting of gamefaqs boards into anarchy and a school report on the cubist movement I fell behind

    Anyway after reading that colossal text wall of a title we now return to the gretest thing in pokemon since the special split: Audino Genocide


    enjoying the way the character's interact as I feel that is the core of thee story's humor rather than cheep one liners


    also if miror B. did learn Perish Song via level up that would be one ironic way die



    This team dosen't lose

    credit to*Hapuriainen for trainer creator

    "when will man learn that people of all races are equally inferior to robots?" Bender


    "Which is why Arceus created a universe with 3 states of matter and 300 soild & liquid poisons that could cause his symptoms" - Dr. Gregory House

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    Are you going to include Kyurem's new forms, or anything related to BW2? Only if it makes sense, of course, but I'd just like to know if you have any plans.

    ^ Click this for good times ^


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    Quote Originally Posted by Metal Bagon View Post
    I don't know what wall this breaks, but it breaks something. Jack cannot know such a large word.
    Jack has his moments of intelligence. His usual unawareness makes such moments all the more surprising.

    Quote Originally Posted by Metal Bagon View Post
    Pokedex fight was hilarious, but you did add an extra "e" in Pokedex which i highlighted. Also, the bit after that was extremely funny.
    The extra e was intentional, to illustrate 3.7's mispronunciation. Does the same thing with the word "Pokémon".

    Quote Originally Posted by ga'hoolefan View Post
    The past few chapters have been awesome. I never expected the CTG to turn good.

    However, I had an idea for this fanfic. I have already stated this idea, but I'm not sure if you have forgotten about it or what.

    Since the story takes place in the Internet, we, as Serebii users, must be in the internet as well. Perhaps you could write some of us into the story later (not necessarily as main characters, but side characters, that only appear with their "claimed Pokemon" if they have one. An example would be "A trainer in the background threw out his Rampardos.") You don't have to use this idea, but it would be awesome if you did.
    I haven't forgotten the idea, I'm just unsure of how I would implement it. Your idea, though, with the readers appearing as background characters, sending out claimed Pokémon, that's not a bad idea. I'm definitely gonna consider that one.

    Quote Originally Posted by ChaosMudkip View Post
    I really do hope that you give Mudkip back to the chapter title guy (I refuse to call him Hector, as the only Hector I know is from Fire Emblem, and heavily contradicts the image of the CTG) to fight you with in the final battle.
    Hector will get Mudkip back, worry not.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonah the Great View Post
    Jesus Christ, I am behind.
    Better late than never.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonah the Great View Post
    Great new chapter! I just don't like how Jack's titles take up the whole chapter so much space. Also how he says one thing over and over, knowing that the title has to end eventually. I hate to admit it, but most of the time I Tl;dr his titles.
    It's OK, they do tend to be somewhat repetitive.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonah the Great View Post
    Anyway, I think Gahoole has a good idea there. I know I won't be in it, even if you do it, because I barely post here. But I do think that the final issue before the final battle will involve Greevil and Miror B. somehow.
    I haven't ruled out Greevil making a personal appearance, but he has nothing to do with this issue that will arise. Articuno_rocks will know what I'm talking about.

    Quote Originally Posted by GroundBlaze View Post
    Man oh man with all the Black and white 2 hype, dissenting of gamefaqs boards into anarchy and a school report on the cubist movement I fell behind
    I understand. The B/W2 hype was incredible, GameFAQs is... well... GameFAQs, and I've been a bit busy with college myself lately.

    Quote Originally Posted by GroundBlaze View Post
    Anyway after reading that colossal text wall of a title we now return to the gretest thing in pokemon since the special split: Audino Genocide
    *insert evil laugh here*

    Quote Originally Posted by GroundBlaze View Post
    enjoying the way the character's interact as I feel that is the core of thee story's humor rather than cheep one liners
    Thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by GroundBlaze View Post
    also if miror B. did learn Perish Song via level up that would be one ironic way die
    If Miror B. could choose his manner of death, I'm certain it would involve music in some form.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gelatino95 View Post
    Are you going to include Kyurem's new forms, or anything related to BW2? Only if it makes sense, of course, but I'd just like to know if you have any plans.
    It's crossed my mind. For the time being, I'm gonna wait until we have more actual information. We don't even know what types Kyurem's new forms are yet.

    Haven't had much time to work on the next chapter, I'm afraid. I've been busy, between college, Pokémon Tower Defense, all sorts of stuff. I have not forgotten about it, rest assured. That said, don't expect it up any time soon. Maybe some time near the end of this week, but I can't guarantee anything.

    I HAVE CLAIMED WEEZING. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY.
    The Hoenn of Hoenness- Chapter 5 up now!
    404 Error 2: File Not Found- Chapter 12 up now!
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    The claimed Pokemon appearance thing poses a problem for me, as I have none and am unlikely to find an appealing one.

  18. #1593
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChaosMudkip View Post
    The claimed Pokemon appearance thing poses a problem for me, as I have none and am unlikely to find an appealing one.
    It doesn't necessarily have to be a claimed Pokémon. If I want to reference a member in the story, I will find a way.

    I HAVE CLAIMED WEEZING. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY.
    The Hoenn of Hoenness- Chapter 5 up now!
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    Guess what pokemon I'll send out...
    Join my game, Be a Footballer, now!

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    Wow it's been a long time since I commented on one of your chapters. But I definitely liked another one of Jack's Chapter Titles (it's been a long time coming). I also like how you are starting to introduce more competitive battling strategies into your fic, it makes it seem more realistic. Anyway great chapter and I hope you think about incorporating some BW2 info into the story as it comes along.
    Witness the truly awesome power of my claimed Gyarados.

    Gyarados used Epic Awesomeness!
    It's super effective!
    The foe lost OVER 9000% of its health!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Chaos View Post
    Wow it's been a long time since I commented on one of your chapters. But I definitely liked another one of Jack's Chapter Titles (it's been a long time coming). I also like how you are starting to introduce more competitive battling strategies into your fic, it makes it seem more realistic. Anyway great chapter and I hope you think about incorporating some BW2 info into the story as it comes along.
    Glad you like it. And as we get BW2 info, if I find ways to, I will incorporate it.

    And on that note, here is Chapter 18! It's slightly on the short side, but by no means lacking in eventfulness.

    Chapter 18: Hot And Cold Running Gags
    --------------
    "Now, Arbok, Coil!" shouted Hector.

    "Chaaa!" exclaimed Arbok as it coiled its lengthy body up tightly, closed its eyes, focused, and....

    ...nothing.

    "Uh... OK..." Misty muttered as Arbok let loose an angry-sounding hiss which Jack's Pokédex refused to translate, citing the story's PG-13 rating as reason. "Foongus, let's try Body Slam once more!"

    "Foongus foong!" squealed Misty's Shiny Foongus as it bounded into the air and slammed down on the defenseless Arbok, knocking it back. As Arbok righted itself, Jack could see that Arbok had somehow managed to tie itself into a knot.

    "Let's finish it, Foongus!" Misty called out. "Use SolarBeam!"

    "Fooooooongus!" shrieked Foongus as a white orb of light slowly formed directly above the Poké Ball button part of its cap. Misty held her breath and looked on in anticipation....

    BOOOOOOOOM!

    "Foongus, no!" exclaimed Misty as the SolarBeam exploded. As the smoke cleared however, Foongus seemed to still be standing, albeit close to fainting.

    "Arbok, try using Fire Fang!" ordered Hector.

    "Chaaaaaa..." whined Arbok as it continued attempting to undo its knot.

    "You OK, Foongus?" Misty asked softly.

    "Gus!" replied Foongus as its beady eyes glowed purple.

    "Huh?!" exclaimed Jack as purple electricity crackled all around Foongus's body.

    "Foooooooonguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!" bellowed Foongus as it let loose a bolt of purple lightning. Arbok shrieked as the electricity struck its body.

    "Foongus learned Venoshock!" exclaimed Misty's Pokédex as the attack ceased, leaving Arbok sizzling and weary, yet still conscious.

    "All right, Foongus!" squealed Misty. "Use Venoshock once more!"

    "Chaaaaa-boka!" Arbok hissed triumphantly as it managed to undo the knot.

    "Arbok, now! Fire Fang attack!" exclaimed Hector.

    As Foongus charged up more purple electricity, Arbok lunged forward, dental hardware ablaze. As Foongus let loose the Venoshock, Arbok made contact and bit down. Another explosion, this one rather large and room-shaking, shook the entire room. The ensuing smoke cleared out within seconds, revealing Arbok and Foongus to both be unconscious.

    "Arbok and Foongus are both unable to battle!" declared the narrator. "I declare this match a draw!"

    "Foongus is definitely improving," Jack noted as the two trainers withdrew their respective Pokémon. "This is the first time it didn't knock itself out with its failed SolarBeam. And, it learned Venoshock!"

    "Very true, sir," the narrator stated. He opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by an exclamation of "ZOR! SCIZOR!". He wheeled around, and swiftly ducked, allowing the large rock Scizor had thrown out of annoyance to sail safely over his head.

    "I'm gonna go ahead and guess that Scizor's not having much luck with Bug Bite," remarked Cheeseball.

    "Gee, what tipped you off, Sherlock?" Jack replied sarcastically.

    "Enough, enough, you two, enough," Miror B. said suddenly.

    "Dinja, dinja, Shedinja," muttered Jack's Shedinja.

    "What did Shedinja say?" asked Hector.

    "Roughly translated," piped up Jack's Pokédex, "Jack's Shedinja said, 'I wish I had hands so I could facepalm'."

    "Can't say I blame you, Shedinja," sighed Jack. "Scizor giving you a hard time?"

    "Din-JA!" replied Shedinja, now appearing to nod vigorously.

    "Zor, Scizor," hissed Scizor as it picked up a small pebble off the ground and bit at it energetically, managing to crush it. At that moment, green light appeared to shine from its small teeth, but only for a brief second.

    "Did you see that?" breathed Hector excitedly. "Scizor, whatever you did to that pebble, do it again!"

    "Zor? Scizor..." murmured Scizor as it picked up a slightly larger rock and opened its mouth wide. This time, a brilliant green glow emanated from Scizor's teeth as it chomped down on the rock, reducing it to gravel.

    "SWEET!" exclaimed Hector in all caps.

    "Scizor learned Bug Bite!" confirmed Misty's Pokédex.

    "Very nice," nodded Miror B.

    "I can't thank you guys enough," grinned Hector. "Now all we need to do is help Arbok perfect Coil and I can kiss my battling troubles adieu!"

    "Gesundheit," replied Jack.

    "HE WAS SPEAKING FRENCH!" came the echoing, all-caps sound of Ghetsis's angry voice as it reverberated around the subterranean arena. Hector jumped at this, but nobody else did.

    "Hector, you OK?" asked Cheeseball.

    "Yeah... Wasn't really expecting that, is all. I read about it, yeah, but hearing it for the first time..."

    Meanwhile, a grin was creeping across Jack's face. "Sir?" asked the narrator upon noticing this.

    "I have an idea," Jack replied. "Say 'adieu'."

    "But-"

    "SAY IT!"

    "Adieu," the narrator said meekly.

    "Gesundhiet, Mr. Psystrike," replied Jack.

    "HE WAS SPEAKING FRENCH!" roared Ghetsis.

    "THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!" screamed Mr. Psychic.

    "HEY! WHO ARE YOU?!" demanded Ghetsis.

    "SON OF A- ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING? I JUST SAID I'M MR. PSYCHIC!!"

    "WELL EXCUUU-UUUSE ME! AREN'T WE BEING A LITTLE SENSITIVE?!"

    "NEVER MIND THAT, WHO ARE YOU?" bellowed Mr. Psychic as Jack doubled over in silent laughter.

    "I'M GHETSIS! I WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE MISTAKE THE WORD 'ADIEU' FOR A SNEEZE! IT REVEALS JUST HOW UNCULTURED SOCIETY CAN BE!"

    "I KNOW, RIGHT?! YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HOW HARD IT IS FOR PEOPLE TO REMEMBER A SIMPLE NAME! MR. PSYCHIC! NOT MR. PSYWAVE, NOT MR. PSYSHOCK, AND MOST DEFINITELY NOT MR. ZEN HEADBUTT!"

    "...MR. ZEN HEADBUTT?" came Ghetsis's skeptical yet still all-caps response. "SURELY NOT-"

    "OH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'VE BEEN CALLED. MR. PSYBEAM, MR. PSYCHO BOOST, MR. SCYTHER, MR. FRIGGIN' DREAM EATER... AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, I ORDERED A PIZZA SOMETIME LAST YEAR AND I NEVER GOT IT!"

    "Hey, Jack?" asked Miror B. as Ghetsis and Mr. Psychic continued their all-caps, trans-dimensional conversation, "Didn't we see an empty pizza box next to that snoozing Team Rocket baddie who was supposed to be guarding the entrance to Silph Co.?"

    "Yep," grinned Jack. "Given how psychic Mr. Luster Purge is, you'd think he'd have noticed."

    "YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN, GHETSIS?!" roared Mr. Psychic. "YOU SEE THE KIND OF CRAP I GOTTA PUT UP WITH? JACK, MY NAME IS MR. PSYCHIC!!!"

    "HOLD ON A SECOND..." Ghetsis repiled. "DID YOU JUST SAY JACK?!"

    "YEAH! WHY?"

    "I HATE THAT KID! HE THWARTED MY PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION!"

    "HOW ABOUT THAT? I HATE HIM, TOO!"

    "REALLY?"

    "YEP!"

    "....OK," Jack murmured, "Really not liking the direction this conversation is heading..."

    "SO MR. PSYCHIC, WHAT SAY YOU HELP ME OUT?"

    "HOW SO?"

    "CAN YOU POSSIBLY WARP TO UNOVA AND BUST ME OUT OF PRISON?"

    "I CAN'T TELEPORT, BUT MY KADABRA CAN. I CAN BE OVER THERE IN AN INSTANT!"

    "SWEET!"

    "Ohhhh, crap," muttered Miror B. "I sense a disturbance in the 'fro."

    "No friggin' duh!" exclaimed Jack. "Mr. Synchronoise is about to bust Unova's craziest madman out of prison!"

    "THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!" came a roar- from inside Miror B.'s afro.

    "Yeah, that's not good," Jack stated. "Hector? I'm thinking this is the sort of time that calls for a plot device."

    "Agreed completely," nodded Hector as he took a Poké Ball off the back of his belt, enlarged it, and handed it to Jack. Jack threw the ball into the air, and in a flash of light, it unleashed a... solid gold cube?!

    "Jack! No! That's a-" began Hector, but it was too late; Jack had already slammed his whole hand down on the button.

    "...plot... twist..." finished Hector feebly as aforementioned device rose into the air.

    "A plot twist?" repeated Jack warily as the gold cube began to rotate. "You mean one of those things that causes a massive and usually catastrophic change to the story's plot?"

    "Yep," Hector squeaked. "I wasn't really paying attention when I was throwing Poké Balls into the plot device storage closet, I must've caught a plot twist by mistake! Oh my Arceus," he gasped. "Whatever happens, it's all my fault!"

    "Not so," the narrator reassured him. "It's all Jack's fault, as he activated it. You tried to stop him."

    "I beg your freaking pardon?" growled Jack. "I didn't see you taking any action!"

    The narrator opened his mouth to reply, but an extraordinary racket met everyone's ears; it sounded like a swarm of Yanma hyped up on caffeine was buzzing around just outside the bunker.

    "Almost assuredly not good," stated Miror B. With that, he made a dash for the stairs. Jack and Hector hastily withdrew their Pokémon as they followed the rest of the group.

    Back in the main room, Miror B. clapped his hands twice. Almost immediately, the large disco ball split open, and a periscope descended from the opening. Once it was at eye level, Miror B. looked through it.

    "Oh, definitely not good," Miror B. stated quietly.

    "What? What is it?" Jack demanded.

    Miror B. turned and looked directly at Jack. "Smogons," he said.

    Hector gasped. The narrator's eyes widened in horror. Jack, Cheeseball, and Misty, however, simply exchanged confused glances.

    "You don't know about Smogons, sir?" the narrator demanded incredulously. "They've only been the subject of 75% of all horror stories I've ever heard!"

    "What are they?" asked Misty.

    "Smogons are Pokémon trainers," explained Miror B. "Or at least, they were. According to legend, when a Pokémon trainer allows his or her zealous desire to become the best get the better of them, over the years they undergo a sort of transformation, and become this less-than-human thing. When one challenges you to a battle, you cannot refuse, and if you lose, you become one of them. Moreover, they use these strange powers of theirs to impose ridiculous restrictions on the battles they wage, such as, no one side can have more than one Pokémon asleep at the same time, not counting Pokémon using Rest."

    "That's absurd!" Jack exclaimed.

    "What's more, Smogons have no emotions, other than a desire to battle and win," continued Miror B. "They do not feel, so any attempts to appeal to any part of them that may still be human are futile. They have no emotional connection to their Pokémon whatsoever, and this emotionless state eventually spreads to the Pokémon."

    "So they don't have souls," Cheeseball stated.

    "Essentially, yes," Miror B. nodded.

    "But why haven't we ever encountered any?" asked Misty.

    "Missingno. Master was able to seal the Smogons away," answered Hector. "They were locked away, behind a sealed door in the Dot Com Building. I'm guessing the plot twist busted it wide open."

    "So what do we do now?" asked Jack.

    "We stay the hell out of their way until we come up with a foolproof plan," declared Miror B.

    "Is there any way to repel them?" asked Cheeseball. "Like garlic does to vampires?"

    "Salt," was Miror B.'s reply. "We need to coat the bunker's walls in salt. The Smogons won't be able to penetrate the bunker."

    "Well, let's get moving, then," Jack stated as Miror B. heaved several massive barrels full of table salt out of his afro. "How do we get the salt to stick to the walls?"

    "A Pokémon with String Shot should be able to do it," suggested the narrator.

    "Groovy idea!" exclaimed Miror B.

    "I have just the thing!" exclaimed Jack as he threw a Poké Ball into the air. "Beedrill, let's go!"

    In a burst of light, Jack's Beedrill materialized. Jack opened his mouth to give an order, when he heard sudden, frantic pounding on the door.

    "Boss! Boss! Let us in!" came a pair of frantic voices in unison.

    "Trudly and Folly!" exclaimed Miror B. Jack made for the door, but the narrator held him back.

    "They could be Smogons, sir!" said the narrator. "They could've been turned already!"

    "In a matter of minutes?" asked Jack skeptically.

    "There's a simple test," Miror B. stated he took one of the salt barrels and sprinkled a semicircular line around the steel door. A robotic arm reached out of Miror B.'s afro and opened the door, allowing the two guests Miror B. had invited to the Christmas party to come tumbling in, where they were able to step over the salt line with no problem.

    "Smo... smo... smogons!" panted Trudly. "They're everywhere!"

    "We were thinking of dropping in anyway, and then we saw all of them swooping in our direction!" Folly added. "We ran like hell and here we are."

    "Of course, of course," nodded Miror B. "You two are welcome to stay for as long as necessary."

    "Right," Jack added. "Beedrill, we better get moving. Use String Shot on the walls."

    "Huh?" Folly asked.

    "We're Smogon-proofing," explained Miror B. "Beedrill will get the walls nice and sticky, and then we apply the salt."

    "Heh," chuckled Trudly as he took out a Poké Ball. "I can help with that! Ariados, Spider Web!"

    The ball split open, unleashing bright light which formed into Trudly's Ariados. Immediately, Ariados fired a glowing white sphere at the ceiling. On contact, the orb unraveled itself into a vast, sticky spider web, which attached itself all over the ceiling and walls, even squeezing behind the furniture. Beedrill buzzed, clearly impressed.

    "I'll salt this room," Miror B. stated. "Jack, take the hallway, prison cell, and bathroom. Trudly, the changing room, stairway, and underground colosseum."

    "Right," nodded Jack. He dashed into the hallway as Trudly ran past him into the bathroom.

    "Uh, Miror B.?" called Trudly. "What are the passwords again?"

    "'Burrito' for the colosseum, 'enchilada' for the dressing room," Miror B. called back.
    ~~~~~~~~
    Half an hour and several minor explosions later, Ariados and Beedrill having passed out from sheer exhaustion, every square inch of the Miror Bunker's walls were covered in a nice, even coating of salt.

    "So now what?" asked Jack as he and Trudly withdrew their weary Bug-types.

    "Now I'm thinking some training really is in order," Miror B. answered as he pulled out of his afro an orange disc and a Poké Ball that was colored with various shades of blue.

    "What's that?" asked Hector.

    "A Dive Ball," Miror B. answered. "Captain Follicle is oh-so fond of using all different varieties of Poké Ball, irregardless of whether they're appropriate for the situation. Audino, time to boogie!"

    In a flash of light, a small pink-and-yellow Pokémon materialized. The Audino looked up at its new trainer, regarding his afro warily.

    "Why, hello, Audino!" Miror B. exclaimed. "I am the fabulous Miror B., and I am your trainer."

    "Audi..." murmured Audino, still eyeing Miror B.'s afro as if it would suddenly explode.

    "It's OK, Audino," Miror B. said softly. "I've already used most of my explosives."

    "Yeah, about that," Jack asked, "was it really necessary to apply the salt by putting a barrel in each room and a bomb in each barrel?"

    "You've no reason to complain," Miror B. replied. "It worked, didn't it?"

    "You got a point," Jack conceded, as he looked up at the walls.

    "Now then, Audino," Miror B. said as he held up the TM, "I'm going to teach you how to use Fire Blast, OK?"

    "No!" replied Audino, nodding vigorously.

    "Anyone else see the irony in that?" remarked Folly.

    "What?" asked Trudly.

    "Well, boss asked Audino something, it said 'no,' and yet it was nodding. You know?"

    "No- I mean, yeah," chortled Trudly as Miror B. pressed the TM to Audino's forehead and it started glowing.

    "Wait a minute, Miror B.!" exclaimed Jack. "Isn't that TM from Kanto?"

    "Why, yes, Jack, why do you... oh. Oh, no," Miror B. whispered. Quickly, he scooped up the TM which had fallen to the floor and plunged it deep into his afro. Several seconds later, the huge hairdo quivered in place as a muffled explosion could be heard from within.

    "OK," Hector declared. "I need an afro like that."
    --------------
    End of Chapter 18.

        Spoiler:- Major events:
    Last edited by Missingno. Master; 1st March 2012 at 7:51 PM.

    I HAVE CLAIMED WEEZING. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY.
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  22. #1597
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missingno. Master View Post
    Arbok lunged forward, dental hardware ablaze.
    Dental hardware? lol

    And the Mr. Psychic/Ghetsis thing was totally unexpected and hilarious. This is gonna be good…


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    I sense a disturbance in the 'fro? Someone ha been watching a bit too much Star Wars....


    Also, thank you for taking the huge swing here at over-competitive battling.
    Last edited by ChaosMudkip; 1st March 2012 at 9:25 PM.

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    Hooray, I can review in a timely fashion!

    All in all, very good chapter. I definitely loved the Smogons being a zombie parody--I actually parodied zombies in my own fiction, so I know a good one when I see it. Also, the Ghetsis/Mr. Psychic thing was great--not only do we get to see Mr. Psychic fight, but he's BACK! That's the important thing. Also, I'm proud of Scizor. And at least Arbok tried. Both of those 'mons are BAMFish.

    I know we're off this topic now, but if on the off chance I AM one of the fans who sends out a Pokemon, let mine be Gallade.
    Oh hey, I have a Nuzlocke story.
    I hath claimed the ULTIMATE TROLL!
    When an unknown infection spreads throughout Hoenn, it's up to three elite Trainers to defeat its source: Deoxys.
    Currently up to Chapter 2 of the sequel.
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    Do you know why people have eyes at the front? It's to see the vast landscape, and to move forward. If we had eyes in the back, we'd only see ourselves leaving our birthplace. That way, people could never move forward. Our eyes are at the front, so that when we walk, the distant landscape draws closer. That's why people can move forward.

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    Zombie Smogonites. I'd be offended if a) it weren't true, and b) it weren't hilarious!

    I wonder what Folly and Trudly will bring to the group, hopefully more opportunities for the fabulous Miror B.
    Originally Posted by scytherdude30
    no no no you need an empoleon as your powerhouse da listen to me man I AM THE BOMB
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    Yes, someone is getting 'killed'... HOORAY FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!....
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