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Thread: Virginity

  1. #1
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    Default Virginity

    What are your thoughts on virginity?
    Should someone wait until marriage to have sex, if not
    when should they?

  2. #2
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    i say wait till they're ready. or at least until 17

    And it's the time we waste, swallowed into space. . . .

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    lol >.> i hate that word ..virginity..my name virginia so i get asked this question quite alot... anyways

    I dont think it really matters if you have sex before marriage or if you wait until your married it all depends on the particular person making the decision
    i mean i dont think i freaking 13 year old should be having sex....i believe its fine aslong as the person is mature enough to handle it ..and no i dont think any 13 year old girl or boy can handle it, i think the appropriate age is atleast 16 >.> but myself personally I am not in a rush to loose my virginity anytime soon so i will probably wait until marriage >.> then again i dont reallly want to get married either
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    If religion doesn't factor in someone's decision, all I would say is that they know better than I do whether they love the person they're with enough and whether they're ready. Obviously if someone's religion is important to them they should follow the teachings of their religion.
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    I think people should wait until a time where they are emotionally stable. Ahaha, but that'll never happen. This is mainly for a fact in case a condom breaks and they're plagued with pregnancy. It happens more often then people think and it would be terrible :/

    But they don't need to wait until they're married.

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    what i believe is that when a person knows they are truly ready is when they should have sex, no matter what age. if you're 16 and you know for sure you're staying with your partner for a long time, go for it. but as you know, we're all human and have strong urges that get the best of us...and you wind up with fat hicks who don't know who their baby daddy is.

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  7. #7
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    Not sure what I can say here...

    I lost my virginity pretty early so I have a biased view on sex. Waiting for marriage was never a set priority for me.

    But if you're questioning as to if you're ready for sex, you aren't.
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    The rule in my family is that we have to wait until 16 to date...but I've never heard a law about when we can lose virginity. It was probably repealed a long time ago. :P

    So I say, wait until 16 or after, make sure both people are well educated so they can do it right.

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  9. #9
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    In Canada, or atleast British Coloumbia they upped the age from 14 to 16 so :/

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  10. #10
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    Well, as everybody else has said, I think you should have sex when you are ready and feel youa re mature enough to handle it. Saving your virginity for marriage... that just seems riduculous. Besides, most people I know who've mad ethat chocie got married at 18 and 19 years old.

    Anyways, have sex when you are prepared for whatever follows next. Sex can change a relationship, so don't do it if you can't put an extra foot forward for the relationship. Pregnancy can put a lot of strain on you, so be preparedin case that happens. And be prepared if one of you gets a disease.

    Pretty much, if you're not mature enough to put a condom on (especially without laughing) you're not mature enough to have sex.

  11. #11
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    People will have sex when they feel like it.
    And not everyone wants to get married, so screw the 'wait to have sex till marriage' thing. That is a load of bull imo actually. I mean, I respect and kinda admire people that can actually wait that long ...cause we're human and we like BIG urges of horniness.

    People make sex into a whole bigger deal. When you feel comfortable enough, then yes, have sex.

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    I think it's up to the people involved, whether they are emotionally ready, etc., as most other people have said. I don't think sex before marriage is a big deal at all (pretty common), but if my partner wanted to wait, I would surely wait as well. Of course, I think you should really love the person you're getting involved with <3

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    Basically if both people want to, and not just out of peer preasure, and its a loving relationship. I dont see the harm. as long as they use protection etc.

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    I don't mind virginity much and people have their own decision to have sex whenever they are ready to do it or whatever. I just can't stand when people are forcing other people to have sex, so it could make them look "cool" like other mean non-virginities.

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    Touchy subject.

    I'm a sixteen year old male in a long-term relationship... still a virgin though. I'm not sure what I think. Ideally, I'd like to wait until I'm married, simply out of respect to my future wife. But especially now, that is a hard promise to keep XD

    Stupid hormones. Stupid boobs. Stupid hot girls.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fused View Post
    Pretty much, if you're not mature enough to put a condom on (especially without laughing) you're not mature enough to have sex.
    Ahaha, that's a good one! I like this idea! XD

    Quote Originally Posted by Vaporeon4evr View Post
    Touchy subject.

    I'm a sixteen year old male in a long-term relationship... still a virgin though. I'm not sure what I think. Ideally, I'd like to wait until I'm married, simply out of respect to my future wife. But especially now, that is a hard promise to keep XD

    Stupid hormones. Stupid boobs. Stupid hot girls.
    Mm. It makes you want to reconsider and compromise, dunnit? *sigh*



    I do hold virginity as something honored. It is naturally easier to have more respect for people who are modest and responsible with themselves than it is for those who have fooled around prematurely or often. Think of it as a buffet: who do you respect more? The person who rushes over to the counter and stuffs their face the second they walk through the door, or the person who sets up their table space, chooses their courses, and then eats neatly?

    Losing virginity is an irreversible change in yourself in both physical and pyschological ways. Sex is a momentous step because it is a big deal; especially the first time.

    I could be called a proponent of waiting until you're married, but the actual marriage doesn't have anything to do with it. Marriage signifies lifelong committment. For better or worse, you and your partner are prepared to share every event and every consequence coming in the future. Considering the realities of sexual activity, it deserves the same level of committment. Naturally, two people can reach that level of committment without being technically married, so the actual marriage isn't important.

    On that same note, it's just not going to come to be that any sixteen year-old a month into their relationship and flying high on infatuation dressed up in the costume of love is either that committed or understands that kind of committment, and even less likely (biological fact, here!!!) to be able to grasp or fulfill that committment. An arbitrary "okay, you're now suddenly mature enough" age is a ridiculous concept, whether that age is fourteen, eighteen, or fifty-two. The best we can gauge a person's maturity level with is their brain development, which tends to complete itself in the early twenties. A person has the best chances of understanding consequence and reality at or after that time (which is not to say that it can never be done beforehand, but those cases would be something along the lines of exceptions).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Profesco View Post
    Mm. It makes you want to reconsider and compromise, dunnit? *sigh*
    Sure does. Why did God make girls so hot?

    I do hold virginity as something honored. It is naturally easier to have more respect for people who are modest and responsible with themselves than it is for those who have fooled around prematurely or often. Think of it as a buffet: who do you respect more? The person who rushes over to the counter and stuffs their face the second they walk through the door, or the person who sets up their table space, chooses their courses, and then eats neatly?
    Actually, I quite like this analogy.

    Losing virginity is an irreversible change in yourself in both physical and pyschological ways. Sex is a momentous step because it is a big deal; especially the first time.
    Amen. It is far from a frivolous affair. To me, sex is a matter of commitment. It is such a monumental choice to make, and making it with the wrong person can create a horrible sense of emptiness :/

    I could be called a proponent of waiting until you're married, but the actual marriage doesn't have anything to do with it. Marriage signifies lifelong committment. For better or worse, you and your partner are prepared to share every event and every consequence coming in the future. Considering the realities of sexual activity, it deserves the same level of committment. Naturally, two people can reach that level of committment without being technically married, so the actual marriage isn't important.
    Marriage is just the government and the church's way of recognizing your relationship. You're right, it kind of mitigates the argument for "no sex until marriage". It should at least be the emotional equivalent of "marriage".
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fused View Post
    Pretty much, if you're not mature enough to put a condom on (especially without laughing) you're not mature enough to have sex.
    ...........................!!!............!!!!!!
    you win the ignorant douche award
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fused View Post
    Pretty much, if you're not mature enough to put a condom on (especially without laughing) you're not mature enough to have sex.
    There such a thing called 'lightening the mood.' Performance Anxiety is a real bitch, and laughing eases that tension. I know myself well enough to know I'm ready, and yet I laughed. It feels funny the first time, what can I say? : /


    I originally felt that abstinence was a priority, since about 7th or 8th grade. The scare tactics that the shitty 'Sex Ed' classes my school district preaches put me into the mindset that sex corrupts your mind and ends your relationships and traumatizes you and turns you into a delinquent.

    My friend sort of helped me see it in a different light. I rethought it, and realized just how paranoid I was being. There are precautions, and I was willing to accept responsibility if those precautions failed. It helps that my girlfriend and I know each other well and are very close--it'd be different, no doubt, if I'd only known her for a couple of months.

    All in all, virginity really doesn't seem like the huge deal that the world makes it out to be. Yeah, it's important, but it's not like you're ruined forever and your life will be changed dramatically if you lose your virginity (I'm being general here--for some, it may as well be). The media makes a huge deal out of that, understandably so. We don't want more baby boomers, do we?

    EDIT: Not to sound like a whore or something. I really do treat sex like a very, very big thing, it's not just some hobby to me or something. : / It's just that I feel ready for it, I want it, my girlfriend is ready and willing, we're taking precaution, we're willing to go through with abortion, we'll take responsibility if the condom breaks. Things like that.
    Last edited by Grei; 3rd September 2009 at 1:59 AM.

  20. #20
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    A few years ago there was a commercial that aired all the time telling kids "wait to have sex until you're married." The thing is, I realized one grave mistake in their logic that can easily be manipulated. They say to wait until you are married to have sex, but they don't say whom with. So, basically, I can't have any sex until marriage, but after that I can commit all the adultery I want with no consequences.
    See, that is the one thing about that campaign against premarital sex where they really needed to read their own fine print.
    Also, since my freshman year I have been wondering more and more if I am the only virgin left at my school. All the other students seem to have had sex at some point and none are afraid to admit it, even though the minimum age for having sex in the US is 18 (a fact which I despise with every fiber of my being). No I am not woefully unattractive (I think); I am a sucker for the rules and don't want to get in trouble with the law by having sex before age 18.
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    Quote Originally Posted by celebitrainer View Post
    All the other students seem to have had sex at some point and none are afraid to admit it.
    'Course not. Being fast and loose at a young age is cool. Teenage mothers prove that one, yeah?

    *pays Lewis Black to add a sarcastic grunt to the end of the post*

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    Quote Originally Posted by Profesco View Post
    'Course not. Being fast and loose at a young age is cool. Teenage mothers prove that one, yeah?

    *pays Lewis Black to add a sarcastic grunt to the end of the post*
    That's the thing. In my opinion, if you have sex, and then just start talking about it loudly so that people around you can hear you, that shows you aren't mature enough for sex in the first place. Those mature enough should be able to have sex and not feel the overwhelming urge to show their "maturity" to others by announcing that they've had sex.

    That's the difference. Having sex and not making a huge deal out of it is one thing. Having sex and announcing it is quite another.

  23. #23
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    This is a touchy subject like Vaporeon has said, and everyone has different views about it.

    Just like Profesco, I hold it as an honorable, high standard, and I agree with everything he says. If you hold a high standard, such as maintaining virginity until after marriage, you're are a very confident, virtuous person. I may be a Mormon, and thus I believe in these standards, but I know plenty of non-Mormons who have this as well. If someone has sex before marriage, that's their choice, and I won't go hound them about it. But I do admire people who have made a decision to wait, and that is because it's so hard to find someone like that, thus it's very easy to admire them.

    It's stated in Proverbs 31: 10: "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." It goes for everyone, but truth be told, there's really so few who hold that kind of standard. I'm not one to judge, it's not my place, so I'll respect the choices one will make. I step back when it comes to a person's agency, but I will speak about it if I have to, but it's typically rare for me to do that. I honor agency as much as virtue.

    And Vaporeon, I don't know why God made us girls so hot, but He did create hormones, so it all lies in there xD.
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    NO one should have sex until there married, let alone not being able to take care of kids. LADIES, listen, If you have sex with a guy that claims to "love" you, and your under 18, and you get pregnant, they are MOST LIKELY leave you, as in, the guy will split and wont take care of his kid, because the boy isnt ready to be a father.
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    Middle school? That's barely puberty...
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    Quote Originally Posted by pokemaster001 View Post
    ...........................!!!............!!!!!!
    you win the ignorant douche award
    Oh ****! I wasn't aware how mature and non-hypocritical you are. Well, thank you for the advancement of this intelelctual debate.[/major sarcasm]

    Quote Originally Posted by Grei View Post
    There such a thing called 'lightening the mood.' Performance Anxiety is a real bitch, and laughing eases that tension. I know myself well enough to know I'm ready, and yet I laughed. It feels funny the first time, what can I say? : /
    I guess I wasn't clear. I meant laughing at the fact it was a condom. I didn't say anything about sensation or your sense of touch.

    Quote Originally Posted by the jman View Post
    NO one should have sex until there married
    And people who can't get married and/or don't want to get married? Should they just die virgins?

    Quote Originally Posted by the jman View Post
    LADIES, listen, If you have sex with a guy that claims to "love" you, and your under 18, and you get pregnant, they are MOST LIKELY leave you, as in, the guy will split and wont take care of his kid, because the boy isnt ready to be a father.
    Well actually thanks to our legal system, the father by law has to financially support his child.
    Last edited by Fused; 3rd September 2009 at 2:25 AM.

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