View Poll Results: Do you think the characters are OOC??

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  • yes they r not anything like themselves (//_^)

    2 50.00%
  • eh its not that bad but they r a little :P

    0 0%
  • nopppeee!!! i loved it!!!!

    1 25.00%
  • i dont no?? im not much of a fan of the ppl

    1 25.00%
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Thread: Petalburg Highschool

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    Forks with edward and jacob.
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    Post Petalburg Highschool

    gonna rate chapters as i go along this one is pg 13
    MayXDrew, MayXBrendan, MayXAsh, MayXPaul, DawnXPaul, MistyXAsh, MayXWally, MayXHarley
    new story, will not take opinionated critisicm, its such a pain going through. thnx.



    Petalburg Highschool

    Chapter 1
    MAY'S POV

    May fidgeted, hardly being able to sit still. On the bus she had met Brendan, a nice, thoughtful boy with silver hair that paid too much attention to her body but all in all the nicest person she met so far. She had also met Wally, a shy and quiet boy with green hair but he wasn't very friendly. Now she was sitting in Pricipal Birch's office awaiting her schedule. Principal Birch happened to be Brendan's father too. Bill Birch was very kind to her. He walked out of his office looking very amused. She wondered what would make him like that.

    "Well Miss Sapphire, I've put you in the best class as possible, now be on your way quickly." He said with a crinkly eyed smile. She still didn't know what was so funny. She smiled and thanked him graciously for his help on her first day. Right before she headed into her first class of the day, she looked down on her outfit. It was made up of a gorgeous sparkly aquamarine skirt with a white blouse. The blouse had a dazzling rose on it that looked like someone drew it on with artistic skill. Itwas her favorite outfit. Her chestnut brown hair waved all the way down her back right above her petite waist. Her crystal clear sapphire eyes were her best feature of her heart shaped face. After doing a quick check on her hair in a compact she walked into the class.

    DREW"S POV

    The teacher kept droning on about a new student....blah blah blah. He didn't like any of the new students. They always tried to be buddies or hook up with him. It was only two weeks in to the new year but they had already had three new students and it was always the same. He heard a bunch of guys betting if she'd be ugly, a sl*t, or beautiful and innocent. He heard one of his friends, Paul, tell them to shut up. Drew just sat, staring off into space, until the door opened of course.

    He heard an involuntary gasp from himself, Brendan, Ash, Paul, and every other guy I didn't care about in this class. She was gorgeous from top to bottom. Her silky chocolate brown hair fell to her small, curvy waist. Her heartshaped face had a rosy complexion with perfect lips. The most important thing about her face were those heart stoppingly stunning sapphire orbs. He didn't even notice her body until she walked to the teacher. Her hips swayed and had every boy in the room lusting for just a taste of her. He smiled and shut down his testosterone but he just couldn't tear his eyes away from that perfect hourglass figure. The only empty seat was next to Brendan Birch so she was sent to it. She sat down and immediately started talking to that Brendan kid. He felt himself being overtook by something unrecognizable. He had never felt it before but he could tell it was jealousy. He kept dwelling on the fact until he saw Brendan look her up and down and he snarled under his breath. The purple haired man in front of him turned around and laughed right in Drew's face.

    "Sounds like you have a crush on May Sapphire, Petalburg gym leader's daughter. Hmmmmmmm?" pried Harley.

    "Sounds like you are being incredibly nosy for a f*g." said Drew flicking his hair arogantly.

    "I'll have you know that I'm not gay because I have a crush on May too. She's so cute and name one guy who wouldn't mind having that in their bed." he stated while pointing at the now flirting May. Drew felt his jealousy go on high but he managed to keep it out of sight of the supposed straight man.

    "Whatever, I don't need any girl. I'm a single man and I intend to stay that way because all girls go crazy at the sight of me." Drew said wanting to end the conversation. Yes, he had a crush on May but seriously it just wasn't going to happen. Only in his dreams, it might. He could feel his fanclub watching to see if this new girl would effect his heart.

    BRENDAN"S POV

    Brendan smiled to himself. He liked this May girl. She was cute and with her innocence. He told another joke to her and she laughed. Her laugh was like the sound of a bell. A soft tinkling that was desirable in every way, shape, or form. He thought she was a wonderful woman. The looks was another thing that was perfect but so was her personality. He could already feel himself liking her in more of a sexual way. Then he thought of a very important question.

    "What's your next class?" the siver haired teen questioned.

    "I'm taking Pokemon Appeals and Shows next." she replied taking a quick glance at her complex schedule.

    "Oh cool, so am I! I'm gonna' show off my Tropius for all it's worth!" Brendan shouted, his silvery blue eyes lighting up in excitement. At that time, the bell rang loudly, interrupting their conversation.

    MAY'S POV

    The next bell was supposed to be fun. You dressed up as your pokemon that was your starter pokemon. Beside me, Brendan groaned because he couldn't use Tropius. He had to use a Swampert. May pulled out her Blaziken and Wally pulled out his Sceptile. Drew smiled at his beautiful Roserade. Ash glanced at his Pikachu and Misty held her only pokemon that could be out of the water, her Azumarill. Harley let out his Cacturne and Paul let out his Infernape quietly. Dawn happily hugged her Patchirisu because she had forgotten her starter at home. Brendan pointed out all of them to the new girl. He told May all about them and warned that Drew was not very chummy with girls because of his fanclub following his every step. I smiled at that, a boy not liking girls obsessed with him. She was thinking he might be a good friend because he was so down to earth. Soon all of the girls and the guys went into separate changing rooms and came out cosplaying their pokemon.May was wearing a bikini that had zigzags that looked like my Blaziken's coat of glistening fur. She looked into her compact, she had applied fire red lipstick, orangey yellow eyeshadow, and black eyeliner. May slowly smiled to herself, she knew she looked hot.

    "Obsessed with your appearance, I see?" said a velvety rich voice behind her. The brunette turned around, not worrying about making a comeback. May first saw his shoes, then his teal pants, his black t-shirt, and finally his face. She made note of his perfect lips but got stuck in those sparkling, emerald eyes that looked like they should belong to an angel. He waved his hand in the dazed girl's face and snapped his fingers a couple times. "Come in stupid, back to the Earth where everyone thinks you belong." Even that didn't work so he plucked a rose from Roserade and shoved it in my face. I smiled and took it from his hand graciously.

    "What's this for?" I said confused.

    "It's for your Blaziken, she's beautiful but not as good as any of my pokemon." smirked Drew arrogantly.

    "My pokemon would SO beat yours, Drew!!" she shouted across the room causing everyone to stare at the enraged mademoiselle. Drew just kept walking away like he was deaf which made her even more mad at him. Brendan came over, then, not allowing her to run after Drew. She listened to Brendan explain that Broccoli-Brain was always like that. He also explained Drew's nickname that he had given him, Broccoli-Brain. The teacher started class and told everyone to use their pokemon's prettiest move. Brendan used Hydro Pump, May used Flare Blitz, Wally used Razor Leaf, Drew used Petal Dance, Ash used Volt Tackle, Misty used Water Gun, Harley used Shadow Ball, Paul used Flame Wheel, and Dawn used Whirlpool. They were all good, pretty moves so each of them got a 100. May was so happy, her first grade and she got a perfect score.

    DREW'S POV

    After annoying May and getting through that class without going crazy because May was wearing a bikini, Drew decided to tryout for the soccer team. He picked up the sheet on the way out of the wretched school building.

    Suddenly, May bounced up to him, "Wat'cha doin'??" she asked. He sighed because it was so obvious. "So you're going to tryout for the boys soccer team?? So am I!!" she squealed.

    "Ummm..... it's a boy's team, you can't try out for a team of all boys." he said, sweatdropping and scratching the back of his head.

    "Yeah I can! It's in the new rules. Girls can only tryout if they share the boy's locker room." she recited perfectly. He looked down at the sheet in his hand and noticed that that was what it said. She smiled widely, showing all of her pearly whites. "The only drawback is that I have to change with the guys. Translation: I will be changing the bathrooms or showers." Drew rolled his eyes but in the very back part of his brain, he was thinking of what May would look like naked. He went crazy just at the thought of her without any clothes covering areas he wasn't allowed to touch yet. He just smiled running through all of the perverted pictures his mind conjured up just hearing that statement. He heard a tinkle of a laugh somewhere and he suddenly jutted back to reality.

    "That's exactly what Brendan looked like when I told I would be trying out for the team." she said muffling her giggles with her palm.

    "Oh, really? Maybe it's because he's a perverted ba**ard," said Drew snottily.

    "So you were thinking pervertedly just like you said, right?" Drew sweatdropped, he had hunched himself back in a corner.

    " Uh, NO! I would never think of you like that. Talk about homosexual." Drew flipped his hair, relieved he came up with a smat-a** responce.

    "Did you just call a hottie like May, who you would love to have, a guy?" Brendan asked with a mallet in his right hand aiming for Drew's face. "If she is a guy then I have a crush on a guy! Are you calling me homo? 'Cause if you are, I will beat the fruit out of you!!" he shouted with his mallet raised menacingly. Drew opened his mouth to utter a quick responce until he saw May's face. Brendan had just confessed to May that he liked her. Drew felt jealousy boil in his blood until he couldn't handle it and walked briskly away. He felt a tear drip down his face.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    im making a pm list so if any1 wants to be on it, pm me or request in a reply below. It's a bit short but the next will be much longer. by the way i want to hit on POV. if any1 doesnt no it means point of view. i did it on limited point of view so if it switches pov that means that now the narrator has now switched to knowing _______'s thoughts. just thought you guys mite get confused at that. thnx for reading






    <3 Vampire <3
    I'm black in a world of white.
    I'm death instead of living.
    I'm stabbed by both love and hate.
    My heart is ripped to peices,
    never to love again.
    I believe there is no heaven, only hell.
    There is no good, only perfectly masked evil.

    check out my contestshipping fic: Petalburg Highschool

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    Default

    UPDATE: i have a contest for u guys. This is for members only, sorry visitors. here it is: i have involved myself in the story. u have to find where. u will reply with answer is an exclusive spoiler. go for it!!!

    Let me explain about Brendan and Drew's past: they have been fighting ever since pre school because Brendan angered Drew and Drew threw his milk on Brendan. stupid thing to fite over, i no but they keep going, just trying to be better than the other.

    Rating: mature/teen for sexual references, fights, and mild cussing.
    Petalburg Highschool
    Chapter 2

    MAY'S POV

    She felt her jaw drop down to the floor. She hadn't seen this coming at all! She noticed how Drew slinked away quietly and wondered why. Brendan turned, opened his mouth, and closed it again without saying any words. Brendan sweatdropped and scratched the back of his head. May just stood there waiting for his explanation. Brendan started to say unrecognizable sounds.

    "Eh.......ma sdfjdjfhjk." he sprayed out in a jumble.

    "Pardon?" May asked, trying to unscramble the random noises the surprised man had just spit out. Talk about awkward, the young woman thought to herself. She saw Brendan start to pull himself together and immediately snapped back to attention.

    BRENDAN'S POV

    Wow, so embarrassing, wat the heck did I just say? thought the silver haired man. Then Brendan found his words, "Sorry I was going to tell you later, but it sort of slipped out!" he apologized profusely. She smiled with her ruby red lips and nodded her heart shaped face that he loved so much. Even after one day, he was head over heels in love. Back in reality May started to walk away but Brendan grasped her wrist to stop her. "Aren't you going to say that you like me back? 'Cause I want to take you on a date to the movies!" he asked desperately.

    "Sure I'll go to the movies with you!" May said, obviously excited for her first date in the new city. Brendan was so happy, he grabbed her in a gigantic bear hug.

    "I'll pick you up at seven on Friday!" he whispered in her ear.

    "What are we going to see?" asked the brunette.

    "Hmmmmm......... well they're's always that new movie, Firey Love. It's the best romance that's out right now." said Brendan, his fingers stroking his pretend beard.

    "Oh, I heard that one was a good one from my mom and dad! Let's definately go see that one!" exclaimed the naturally thin young lady.

    "Okay! Can't wait to see you there!!!!" he said starting to walk into the little boy's room. Then he saw the back of a head filled with green hair. "Broccoli-Brain! Guess who I just scored a date with?" before Drew could answer 'your mom' Brendan screamed "MAY!!!!!"

    DREW'S POV

    ~while May and Brendan were talking~

    Drew sighed while he watched the two of them set up their 'date'. He knew Brendan was a man-wh*re, even Harley wouldn't touch him. May wouldn't know this because of her being so new. He smiled and decided to invite himself on their little, so called date. He wrote down both the time and place. Drew walked to the bathroom and stayed there 'till he noticed Old Man walk in. Old Man was his nick name for Brendan because of his silver hair. Brendan was shouting about the news of hima and May going to the movies the next day. Who the heck does this kid think he is? thought Drew. No man EVER stole his girls, even the fanclub girls remained untouched.

    "Hey Broccoli-Brain! Did you hear me?" When Drew opened his emerald eyes, they were staring directly into ruby red ones. Brendan's face was a couple inches away from Drew's.

    "Yes, I heard you! I think everyone on the planet heard you! Now please get your FACE OUT OF MINE!!! While you're at it, stop calling me that wretched nickname!" exploded Drew.

    "Fine, but May thought it was cute! She thinks all of my jokes are cute or funny!" said Brendan, his red eyes clouded by love and devotion. "She laughs that beautiful laugh and just looks so beautiful!" Drew felt like slamming his head into a wall.

    "Ugh, you're so whipped and you've only known her for one f*ckin' day!!!! Drew screamed insanely. Then a teacher walked in and told the two of them to get out because of noise complaints.

    MAY'S POV

    May was so happy! She had gotten asked out by the nicest guy ever! The rest of the day flew by along with the rest of the week. Finally the anticipated day came, Friday! May laughed out loud while she left her books in her locker and went to homeroom. She entered the room and began to talk to Brendan, her date for the evening. That's when the day took a turn for the worse. As she and Brendan were talking about the excellent art teacher, Mrs.Bruske, Drew had begun walking toward the two of them. Brendan immediately stiffened and pushed May behind him. She wondered why Brendan would act that way to Drew........

    DREW'S POV

    Drew saw May and Brendan laughing together and just couldn't take it anymore. He needed to talk to Brendan before he hatched his genius plan. He needed to confirm his suspicions about him just wanting to get into May's pants. He noticed May and Brendan look up and see him. He didn't care but he watched Brendan push May behind him as if gearing up for a fight. If Drew really wanted to fight him instead of just intimidate him, Brendan would've hit the road faster than you say beat it. He chuckled at the thought, making him look insane. Drew kept his glare level with Brendan's, matching it in every way. As if on cue, Dawn and Misty both ambushed May and began talking nonstop. Dawn was saying how rude Paul was, and Misty was obsessing over Ash. Drew laughed again. He finally reached his destination and noticed Brendan's ruby eyes had turned redder than burning lava.

    "Hurry up, I don't have time for twenty jealous questions." Brendan snapped angrily. Drew had just started the conversation and he already wanted to hurt him so bad. His hand itched to make forceful contact with his smug face. Drew shut down his emotions and forced a smile on his reluctant face.

    "Fine, I know you don't like me very much but that doesn't mean you need to fool around with May! Leave her out of this!" Drew stated angrily. His entire fan club shreiked in outrage because it was crystal-clear who Drew fancied. May, Dawn, and Misty looked up from their discussion and Drew could feel May's gaze boring holes into his back. He sighed but just couldn't let Brendan off the hook for something this major. "Well, are you going to answer my question or are you gonna' continue to just stare at me like a homosexual?" Drew questioned.

    "I'm so not homosexual! I love May and you're just jealous that I asked her out before you could!" Brendan accused. Then he quickly mad a sign with his hands. He made a circle with his right hand and stuck his left index finger through it a couple times. Drew was so disgusted and angry that he lunged at Brendan and tackled him to the ground. He began to punch Brendan wildly.

    MAY'S POV

    May screamed when Drew suddenly attacked Brendan. She was scared, but she wasn't scared for Brendan, she was scared for Drew. She watched Paul, Ash, and Harley pull the two off of each other. Harley winked at her as he lifted Brendan off the ground. Paul winked at Dawn, she flicked him off and Ash blew a kiss at May secretly. Harley saw and tripped Ash which made Ash cuss and they got into a fight until all three boys walked away. May ran up to Drew immediately.

    "Drew are you okay? Are you hurt? I'm so sorry that happened! I'll make it up to you, I promise!" she said. Drew flushed and said he was better than Brendan. May suddenly noticed that Brendan was hurt real bad and she started whipping out band-aids faster than even his mom. When she finished May felt herself being grabbed by her waist. She looked up and saw Brendan leaning down to her with his eyes closed and his lips puckered. She yelped and tried to get away but was locked in his iron grip. She saw Drew run over and she felt herself being yanked once again, but this time into warm, comfortable arms. She smiled and nustled into her savior's embrace. Drew released May and turned to Brendan, ready for an explosion. His eyes were that same glowing, bright red from before and was staring directly at Drew. He frightened her so much that she leaned back into the safety of Drew's arms.

    "May I'll pick you up tonight at seven o' clock." With that, Brendan walked away. May nodded and turned to Drew.

    "Thanks for saving me. I'll see you around, okay?" she asked. Little did she know she would be seeing Drew sooner than she thought.....
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    omg sooo finished. hope u guys like it and dont forget about that contest!!!
    see ya'!!!






    <3 Vampire <3
    I'm black in a world of white.
    I'm death instead of living.
    I'm stabbed by both love and hate.
    My heart is ripped to peices,
    never to love again.
    I believe there is no heaven, only hell.
    There is no good, only perfectly masked evil.

    check out my contestshipping fic: Petalburg Highschool

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Abbey Road
    Posts
    28

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    Oooo, I'm really liking this! I would make one suggestion though...maybe describe the surroundings a bit more. Your description of the characters is excellent, but sometimes I'm a bit confused upno where they exactly are. Otherwise, great job! Keep rollin' the chapters!
    My favorite Pokemon;




  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    CYBER STALKER!
    Posts
    371

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    OMG I <3 that Drew & Brendan have been fueding since Pre-K
    "In the back of his mind Drew was thinking about what May would look like naked" LOL that part was hilarious! I TOTALLY OFFICIALLY LOVE THIS FIC!
    You know what? I'm gone, I really don't even like Pokemon that much anymore (At all, it's getting kind of boring.) And I'm sad to say I'll miss my bestie Mawile412 and GPT and MM and T&T and Fango, because you were all great friend ;_;
    I wont come back ever and I know about the rule change for the game section, and it saddens me; it used to be so much fun, Degrassi, Pokecity, Pokeplace, all of them that I've participated in....
    GG has now graduated from Serebii, I love you all.
    Goodbye...
    (P.S :: I swear, leave Lilly alone, don't be mean to her or I'll eat you, she's my bestie after all~)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    Forks with edward and jacob.
    Posts
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    Default

    omg writers block kills me!!!! sry guys but the next chap mite take awhile. im trying to completely detail it but im stuck on 1 certain part but im almost finished *salutes* lexie is on the case!!!






    <3 Vampire <3
    I'm black in a world of white.
    I'm death instead of living.
    I'm stabbed by both love and hate.
    My heart is ripped to peices,
    never to love again.
    I believe there is no heaven, only hell.
    There is no good, only perfectly masked evil.

    check out my contestshipping fic: Petalburg Highschool

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    2

    Default

    OMG what a cute story so far, PM me when you update ?

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