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Thread: The Rookie's Handbook to Conspiracy Theory

  1. #26
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    Yay!!!! Explained FTW!!!
    I loved your interpretations of all the real life myths and made them Pokemon. I was sooo excited to see that. I squeed in delight.
    Anway, loved the entire chapter and how you explained the reasons for the regions existing. I was waiting for some kind of inter-dimensional thing going on, and I was somewhat right.
    Anyway, this is just screaming sequel! And I can't wait for it to come out. This is some great stuff PD. Not much technical stuff to really comment on, since it doesn't really need it all that much, because things aren't being described as much.
    The only thing I did find a little annoying was his constant self-correcting. I understand that he would be doing it a lot because he's not used to calling the rat a Pikachu, but I just thought it was a little overdone. That's really my only qualm with it, other than that it was effing amazing!!!!
    jirachiman out
    Yes people, I have returned.
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  2. #27
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    First time writing a review here, and I have to say, I'm nervous!

    In any case, after reading them all, I sincerely hope you are writing a sequel! This was definitely too good to stop here, especially with all those unanswered questions you left. Kind of. In any case, let me see if I can do this right, and actually give some criticism.


    I did like the way you worked the story, switching from the present, to that last scene. It gave it a nice stylistic touch, and it avoided getting confusing. A little more space between the more rapid fire one's would be nice, but other than that, I liked that aspect of it.

    As for the mythology, and conspiracy theories, I felt you did a great job tying them all in. Especially liked that little bit about the salem witch trials bit, as well as the mythological creatures. Did a good job tying them in with the main story as well, with Koga using them as evidence. By the way, I also liked Koga's character. Did a good job characterizing him, in my opinion.

    Then there's my favorite part, the little physics bit. I have to say, I couldn't help but grin at that. Good job of explaining just how things might happen, and how they could hide a place like that.

    As for that long explanation you gave, I doubt you'd really run into a lack of room. If they were really in a dimensional pocket, I doubt space would be that big of an issue. Unless your more of implying their not in a separate space, so much as one foot in one foot out.

    Overall, I really liked it, and have to say, the Ariados bit of last chapter. Giant spiders, just what we need. Now only if this were real, we'd be set.

    Now I hope I did that right



    Well, I need to do something here sometime. Not now though!

  3. #28
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    Diddy:
    I'd like to point out that after reading Luphinid Silneak's Aftershock, the whole theory and understanding of dimensional variance is tightly lassoed in my control. So I can picture and understand how and what is going on.
    Um, yay? O.o I'm not actually sure what spurred this comment. But I'm glad you understand what's going on? XD;

    And thank you for answering my query both quickly and with proper reasoning.
    You're welcome? XD; Hope it was proper reasoning that made sense, at least; I think I came off rather strong against gen 4 pokes in there ... oh well.


    jirachiman:
    Anway, loved the entire chapter and how you explained the reasons for the regions existing. I was waiting for some kind of inter-dimensional thing going on, and I was somewhat right.
    Anyway, this is just screaming sequel!
    Yup, somewhat right. XD; Not quite the whole 'another dimension' thang, but yup. :P

    And yup, sequel. ^^; It'll be a lot longer and focus on Surge's integration into the Motherland's culture, though, so it won't come soon. If I do decide to do NaNo officially, that's the story I'll be working on.

    The only thing I did find a little annoying was his constant self-correcting. I understand that he would be doing it a lot because he's not used to calling the rat a Pikachu, but I just thought it was a little overdone.
    I did wonder about that. *nodnod* I did it every time the pikachu was referred to, and there were times when it did get pretty awkward. I guess after a while he'd be less like to do it--which is why I tried to show him catching himself sooner each time it happened--but I should change it so that he acclimatises easier, just for elegance's sake.

    Thanks for the comments~ ^^


    greywolf:
    First time writing a review here, and I have to say, I'm nervous!
    \o/ Welcome~ And don't worry, I don't bite hard. ;3

    In any case, after reading them all, I sincerely hope you are writing a sequel! This was definitely too good to stop here, especially with all those unanswered questions you left. Kind of.
    Hee, yup. Somehow my stories tend to spawn sequels. XD; This one'll be a chaptered fic, so it'll be a lot longer than this introductory fic, and thus probably won't be out anytime soon. But yup, plenty more to write in this universe (actually, nearly everything I write will be in this universe, just not always lampshaded as being in this universe ...).

    I did like the way you worked the story, switching from the present, to that last scene. It gave it a nice stylistic touch, and it avoided getting confusing. A little more space between the more rapid fire one's would be nice, but other than that, I liked that aspect of it.
    Thanks. ^^; My main worry with that last chapter was that it was pretty much all exposition. The only way I could think of to break it up was to make the actual exposition flashbacked, with Surge's actual thoughts scattered in between. Glad it worked okay!

    Yeah, there were times I did wonder if the other parts moved a bit quickly, especially the penultimate chapter ... that might be solved if I did actually change the fic from a four-shot to a two-shot, though.

    As for the mythology, and conspiracy theories, I felt you did a great job tying them all in. Especially liked that little bit about the salem witch trials bit, as well as the mythological creatures. Did a good job tying them in with the main story as well, with Koga using them as evidence. By the way, I also liked Koga's character. Did a good job characterizing him, in my opinion.
    Hee, thanks! ^^ That's actually one of my favourite parts too, being able to tie it all up in accepted mythology. There was also never any question that it was going to be Koga telling it to him ... I imagine those two have a rather interesting 'friendship', heh. Glad to know I managed to do him justice, then. ^^;

    Then there's my favorite part, the little physics bit. I have to say, I couldn't help but grin at that. Good job of explaining just how things might happen, and how they could hide a place like that.
    I'll let you in on a secret: pseudoscience scares me. And yet I always use it. X3; I just like meeting 'magic' and science, I think. I was kind of worried that the explanation was clear and accurate, though ... kept on going back and looking it up to make sure I was still going about it okay. XD;

    As for that long explanation you gave, I doubt you'd really run into a lack of room. If they were really in a dimensional pocket, I doubt space would be that big of an issue. Unless your more of implying their not in a separate space, so much as one foot in one foot out.
    That's pretty much it, yeah, and a decent way of describing it. It still takes up space, air, geography, whatever on Earth. It's just that it's on a slightly different wavelength ... if it weren't for the barrier it'd probably be like, oh, the vanishing isle; sometimes visible, sometimes not, sometimes 'solid' and reachable, sometimes not hey, there's another myth I can use .... Its 'presence' would be unstable, so to speak, but clear enough that they'd always have people trying to coming in. Having a barrier up means they can remain completely hidden and regulate who gets through and how, even if they're not entirely sure why it works the way it does.

    ... Am I making sense? O.o

    Overall, I really liked it, and have to say, the Ariados bit of last chapter. Giant spiders, just what we need. Now only if this were real, we'd be set.
    Oddly enough, I love ariados and spinarak--in the games. In real life, I absolutely hate spiders. XD If they were real I'd freak like Surge did.

    Now I hope I did that right
    You did fine! ^^ Thanks for the comments, and I'm glad you enjoyed it~

  4. #29
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    Hmm. Well, I did feel this part was something of a let-down pacing-wise because, yes, it was all exposition, and even when broken up a little by Marcus in the graveyard, he didn't really do anything in the graveyard, so I didn't feel it entirely made up for it. I was also rather interested in seeing Marcus adapt to life in the Pokémon world and how he came to be a Gym leader, and was disappointed not to see any of that at all.

    That said, the writing was still solid, and it definitely did help somewhat to have the exposition juxtaposed with the graveyard scene; it was also nice that it fitted in with the pattern of each part taking place a while after the last. And the explanation worked quite well, though I was amusingly reminded of Negrek's Clouded Sky (don't know if you've read that).

    Not quite relevant to the story, but your reasoning for deciding that Sinnoh doesn't really exist strikes me as rather flimsy; well, more specifically, your reasoning for including Hoenn but not Sinnoh, which basically boils down to "Well, Hoenn was out when I was originally thinking of this, and I don't like Sinnoh." It's a very arbitrary distinction, which really bothers me when people are trying to create explanations for anything. There is no part in which Hoenn is specifically relevant to your fanon backstory, and in all respects, your reasoning in fact works somewhat better if you apply it to Hoenn as well as Sinnoh: there are just two regions, which take little space, and one champion. Why is three regions and two champions more reasonable than two regions and one champion? If anything, I'd call it less reasonable; having just one champion over the whole Motherland makes a good deal more sense than two of the three regions randomly banding together for one Champion while the third has its own. :/ It works in the official canon since there we can assume that there are many regions and they ordinarily each have a separate League and Champion but Kanto and Johto, being particularly close together, happened to share, but it becomes kind of strange, or at least it seems so to me, when there are specifically just three regions and they are worried about champions banding together to take over.

    And what's up with the Pokémon games existing in the outside world? Would the Motherlanders honestly allow a huge worldwide franchise making all these creatures globally recognizable? Sure, it makes the believers sound even more crazy, but it would make it a lot harder for any witnesses to dismiss what they just saw as a "mutant rat" when it looks just like a video game character, and would definitely make them pay more attention to it. It would at least be quite risky, and it generally seems like an extremely odd decision.
    Last edited by Dragonfree; 25th October 2009 at 6:17 PM.

    Chapter 64: Hide and Seek
    The story of an ordinary boy on an impossible quest in a world that isn't as black and white as he always thought it was.
    (rough draft of the remaining chapters finished for NaNoWriMo; to be edited and posted)

    Morphic
    (completed, plus silly extras)
    A few scientists get drunk and start fiddling with gene splicing. Ten years later, they're taking care of eight half-Pokémon kids, each freakier than the next, while a religious fanatic plots to murder them all.

    Lengthy fanfiction reviewing guide / A more condensed version
    Read and I will be very happy for a large number of reasons.

  5. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonfree View Post
    Hmm. Well, I did feel this part was something of a let-down pacing-wise because, yes, it was all exposition, and even when broken up a little by Marcus in the graveyard, he didn't really do anything in the graveyard, so I didn't feel it entirely made up for it. I was also rather interested in seeing Marcus adapt to life in the Pokémon world and how he came to be a Gym leader, and was disappointed not to see any of that at all.
    The story does seem kind of top-heavy towards the last chapter; that was worrying me slightly since before I posted it. I wish I'd realised I could've posted it in two parts before then; that may solve some of the problem, by making the chapter not just exposition but some of the faster-paced action in the penultimate part as well. Ah well, something to do for ff.net.

    As for Marcus's assimilation: originally that was the basis of the story. Then I realised that the concept behind the whole conspiracy was rather complex and could do with an introduction of its own. It did feel to me to be two different stages: Marcus's discovery of the Pokeworld, and then his assimilation into it. I did say for the outset that this was only a short fic, and his adaptation to the Pokeworld is a chaptered project if I wanted to do any credit to it, so it didn't really occur to me that this fic might include any part of that or that there would be assumptions that it would. That is, of course, what the sequel is about, however, so I'm definitely not just going to let the thread of his story drop.


    That said, the writing was still solid, and it definitely did help somewhat to have the exposition juxtaposed with the graveyard scene; it was also nice that it fitted in with the pattern of each part taking place a while after the last. And the explanation worked quite well, though I was amusingly reminded of Negrek's Clouded Sky (don't know if you've read that).
    Glad it wasn't eye-burning then, at least. X3 I haven't read Negrek's fic, no, but now I'm curious to see what the similarities are.


    Not quite relevant to the story, but your reasoning for deciding that Sinnoh doesn't really exist strikes me as rather flimsy; well, more specifically, your reasoning for including Hoenn but not Sinnoh, which basically boils down to "Well, Hoenn was out when I was originally thinking of this, and I don't like Sinnoh." It's a very arbitrary distinction, which really bothers me when people are trying to create explanations for anything. There is no part in which Hoenn is specifically relevant to your fanon backstory, and in all respects, your reasoning in fact works somewhat better if you apply it to Hoenn as well as Sinnoh: there are just two regions, which take little space, and one champion. Why is three regions and two champions more reasonable than two regions and one champion? If anything, I'd call it less reasonable; having just one champion over the whole Motherland makes a good deal more sense than two of the three regions randomly banding together for one Champion while the third has its own. :/ It works in the official canon since there we can assume that there are many regions and they ordinarily each have a separate League and Champion but Kanto and Johto, being particularly close together, happened to share, but it becomes kind of strange, or at least it seems so to me, when there are specifically just three regions and they are worried about champions banding together to take over.
    Well, I'm not going to deny that, originally, my motivation was that I didn’t want to use the gen 4 pokémon (the region itself I have nothing against, but given that the pokemon of a generation and its region tends to be linked together, I can't exactly use one or the other in an expected context without actually being arbitrary about the way either of them are used), and I won’t deny that I was working from the regions that already existed—Tohjo and Hoenn. It's not really arbitrary when you consider that, given the development of the idea that had occurred by the time Sinnoh was released, I would still have to have made the choice about whether Sinnoh would be included or not. I initially chose not for reasons which may be shallow, but having since attempted to come up with in-world reason why that could be so, I feel said reasons do make sense in the in-world context (particularly the issue of a limited dimensional geography). Given that what we write has motivation in what we enjoy, whether it's fanfiction or original, our responsibility as writers comes in constructing the world well enough that the readers can believe the choices we make are legitimate. I personally didn't think my reasoning was all that flimsy--I feared it was--but I suppose that's something the readers will have to decide for themselves, and even then they might disagree.

    When I said that 'Hoenn was around', however, I meant it with the connotation that yes, its mere presence had already inserted itself into the backstory. I'm not really sure why you're thinking that Hoenn isn't specifically relevant to the backstory given that I gave no reasons for Kanto and Johto being specifically relevant to the backstory, except that they came first in terms of the order in which the games were released. Actually, looking back, I did say outright that Hoenn had its own place in the background fanon: given that explaining that would include spoilers of said background (and the fact that the explanation was long enough already) I didn't think it was appropriate to go off on a tangent to explain what that place was. If you're referring to in-story references to relevance, if anything I gave indications of all three of them being relevant; all three generations have pokemon used as examples of legendary creatures. Tohjo is probably helped by Koga's direct presence there, but given that Hoenn pokemon are also directly mentioned that fact certainly doesn't disclude Hoenn from having a presence in the backstory. In any case, as far as I'm concerned Kyogre and Groudon had a large part in the destruction of the original continent, and the Cave of Origin has an important role in the maintenance of the variance; maybe I should have explained that in my ramble, I dunno, but I'm still a little confused as to where you got that assumption from.

    Regarding the two regions 'randomly' banding together to have one champion, I've always figured Tohjo has one E4 group and one champion because of a matter of geography, the politics of feudal borders, and the eventual amalgamation under one government. Just being on the same landmass, and given the existence of flying pokemon to get over the mountain range, I can't imagine that either side would just completely ignore each other as far as their territory goes. Perhaps in the past they did have separate governments and all they did was fight with each other until they combined to prevent mutually destructive civil war, in which case the single champion and E4 would be a matter of tradition following the manner of having a single overall authority over the two regions. Given that it's canon that Kanto and Johto do only have one champion, there must have been some reason in the past for Tohjo to decide to do things like that regardless of how many regions exist, so I'm honestly not sure how having more or fewer regions would affect how many champions Tohjo has.

    As for the existence of two champions rather than one, I figure that one person with the potential for absolute authority like that risks a dictatorship: if there's only one person with that kind of power, so what do they have to worry about? Declare martial law and have at it. If there's two of them then if any one of them wants to abuse their power they'll always have to be cautious, knowing there's someone of equal power out there who could interfere. Given that power-hungry people don't generally work well with others for long periods of time, even if they did form some kind of partnership it would at least give the regions' local governments a weak spot to hammer at until the champions were focussed on fighting each other instead of subjugating the public.

    Part of the decision, I think, came about because of the assumption to use as much canon as I gracefully could; it didn’t actually occur to me to limit to two regions, one champion. That's why I'd like to include two non-gym-dominated regions--to cover as much of the pokemon world as I can. So having two regions and one champion might be reasonable on a power scale, and it would solve the geography issue, but it's limiting in terms of what canon can offer and it also assumes that the only regions in existence are gym-dominated regions, which limits internal diversity of culture. Setting a cap on the number of total regions, gym-dominated or not, means I can still work with most of the diversity canon has to offer without risking the internal bounds I've already established. So I guess it’s a balance between the power scale, the geographic limits, and how much canon (or what elements of canon) can or could be used.


    And what's up with the Pokémon games existing in the outside world? Would the Motherlanders honestly allow a huge worldwide franchise making all these creatures globally recognizable? Sure, it makes the believers sound even more crazy, but it would make it a lot harder for any witnesses to dismiss what they just saw as a "mutant rat" when it looks just like a video game character, and would definitely make them pay more attention to it. It would at least be quite risky, and it generally seems like an extremely odd decision.
    Well, the idea was the merge the 'real world' and the Pokemon world as completely as possible, which meant that the real world had to be as ostensibly accurate as possible, which means that the games had to exist. Their existence is more in the nature of damage control than actual allowance, though: by the time the Motherland finds out about the impending release of the franchise, too many people are involved and there's no way they'd be sure of getting everyone. Trying to hide it would just lampshade the fact that there is something there to hide, which would get the people they missed up in arms. So rather than trying, they decide to just work with it as a plausible deniability stunt. True, if someone does see a pokemon they're more likely to look into it, but they'd still need a helluva lot of proof before anyone would even start to take them seriously, and if they raise enough of a fuss they'll just make it easier for the Motherlanders to find them and take care of the problem. As shown by the way they handle Surge and the implication that that's standard practice, the individual discovery of the truth doesn't worry them as much as mass discovery.

    A one-shot on this topic is actually pending, but yeah, that's the gist of it. X3

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