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Thread: ~¤Jirachi's Dream¤~

  1. #1
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    Default ~¤Jirachi's Dream¤~

    I'm stalling... o.o

    _________________________________________________

    "Jirachi..."

    ...

    "Jirachi! Wake up!

    That voice...

    "Jirachi!"

    It sounds so familiar...

    ...

    It's calling to me...


    ---------------------------------------------


    "Hey! Jirachi! Come play!"

    The tiny, star-shaped creature blinked and rubbed its eyes, slowly regaining consciousness and awareness of its surroundings. There, through the darkness, its unfocused eyes struggled to discern the distorted figure that had spoken its name.

    A young girl, perhaps no older than the age of ten, emerged into view, smiling warmly at the creature. Arms outstretched, she took it by the hands and pulled the dazed Pokémon forward, swinging it playfully throughout the air. Her buoyant laughter echoed throughout the black, void-like universe, which seemed to gain more color to match her temperament.

    Golden banners billowed in the sudden rush of wind, and as the creature's confusion cleared at last, it chirped in delight, evidently enjoying the ride. As the world passed in a swirl of shadows, varied hues of the rainbow mixed to form a bright, cheery scene, no longer as bleak and cold as it once was. The girl's feet now danced on emerald grass and trees filtered beams of warm, dappled sunlight drifting towards them from the cerulean sky overhead.

    At last they came to a stop, and as the girl's movements slowed to a halt, she let go of the creature's arms. Dizzily it drifted back down towards the earth, landing gently on the grass, It tottered precariously on one leg before plopping onto its back, disheveled. It heard her clear, childish laughter again, and groggily it raised its head to gaze into her beaming face.

    There were now others standing by her too, leaning over the creature expectantly. Surrounded on all sides by people of varying ages and aspects, each of them shared in common an expression of warmth and friendliness. Strangely, they all felt vaguely familiar in a way to the creature, yet at the same time, distant.

    Shimmering eyes of obsidian drifted to each person, unable to express its sheer ecstasy to see them all again, to be surrounded by companions. Its eyes at last fell upon a small boy stooping beside the girl, peering at the Pokémon through thick-framed glasses. He was garbed in shorts, and a thick mass of navy blue hair was piled upon his head. The creature's eyes lit up when he saw him, for the sense of familiarity emanating from the boy was stronger then all the others.

    "Hey, Jirachi!" the boy laughed, scooping the Pokémon up in his arms. Ecstatic, the creature flung its arms around the boy's neck, nearly knocking his glasses askew. He laughed, and returned the embrace.

    The creature sighed and cuddled against the boy lovingly, a feeling of content and elation welling up inside it as it closed its eyes. It all just seemed so perfect...

    But then, slowly, the creature felt itself descending towards the ground once again, gently landing upon the earth. It whimpered and opened its eyes with difficulty, its entire body suddenly growing heavy and tired.

    The boy was now standing above it again, staring down at the creature blankly. He was still smiling, yet something about his expression indicated something wasn't quite right.

    All the others shared the same, rigid expression as they began walking away, almost vanishing into the shadows that once again enveloped the place. And it kept growing colder with each passing second, numbing the creature's body further.

    The Pokémon gurgled in protest, unable to lift a limb to stop them. It watched, horrified, as one by one, its friends disappeared into the darkness. Aqua teardrops formed at the corners of its eyes, as it watched the girl from earlier leave with the rest of them, waving cheerfully goodbye.

    Desperately, it turned to gaze towards the boy, who had not yet budged. Choking in tears, its shimmering eyes pleaded for him to stay. But the boy only shrugged and smiled, and took a few steps back.

    Shivering, the Pokémon struggled to stay awake, eyelids drooping against its will. As its vision succumbed to darkness, it watched the boy wave before fading away with the others.

    "Bye Jirachi."

    Sobbing, the Pokémon lay in the cold, empty space, now void of any other forms of life. Trembling from the frigid cold, it knew there would be no more use in fighting the sleep. Its friends were gone.

    Forever.

    The last, crystal teardrop seeped out from the corner of its eyelid, and fell into the depths of the shadows, as it allowed itself once again to drift into lonely slumber...

    ---------------------------------------------

    I lie here in the shadows...

    Waiting for the day...

    When my Dream...

    My Wish...

    Will come True.


    ~*~
    epona, epona, soba ni oide,
    futari de ireba, kanashiku nanka nai
    dakara, epona, koko ni ite
    watashi no uta wo kiiteite ne



  2. #2
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    I'm stalling... o.o
    You mean stalling for the next LoaL? Lol, One could consider this Loal: Jirachi 2.0 X3
    Anyway, I liked this one better than the first Jirachi one, It's deeper, and goes more into his emotions about having to leave everyone he meet, and that ending is so sad...he wants to be with them but is forced to sleep as they grow and die...Yes, I definately liked this one better, Very awesome, keep it up!

    ~Chibi~


    Ever wondered what would happen if humans had the power to overthrow the Legendaries? To either use them for their own ends, or eliminate them altogether? One thing is for certain...the balance between human and Legendary is unstable.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    8/30/12: CHAPTER 7: “Into the Fire” POSTED!!!
    Chapter 8 progress: 9/12 pages


  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chibi Pika
    You mean stalling the LoaL? Lol, One could consider this LoAl: Jirachi 2.0 X3
    Anyway, I liked this one better than the first Jirachi one, It's deeper, and goes more into his emotions about having to leave everyone he meet, and that ending is so sad...he wants to be with them but is forced to sleep as they grow and die...Yes, I definately liked this one better, Very awesome, keep it up!

    ~Chibi~
    Mm, yesh, I was going to call it 'LOAL: Jirachi (Rewrite)', but I decided to give it a nicer title than that. XP

    And yeah, I like this one a lot better too. =) I thought up the ending one morning when I was thinking hard about Jirachi's situation. I started the fic a long time ago, and I've decided to finish it up over the past couple days.

    Thank you for reviewing! *supa lolly*


    ~*~
    epona, epona, soba ni oide,
    futari de ireba, kanashiku nanka nai
    dakara, epona, koko ni ite
    watashi no uta wo kiiteite ne



  4. #4
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    Aww, poor Jirachi...

    I couldn't find a single spelling or grammar error so a very good job on both of these two aspects (wow, there seems to be only good fics today ). I like your writing style - this story had just the right amount of description without drowning your readers with details or making them bored by the lack of it.

    I admit, I haven't read your other Jirachi story nor have I seen the 6th movie so I couldn't appreciate it as fully if I had done both things. Anyway, wonderful insight of Jirachi's character and I actually felt quite sad (in fact, I wanted to hug it ) for its sake.

    You did a wonderful job with this one-shot!
    Maggots of Society: Chapter One Up!



    Twins with Sike Saner! She loves to stay in the shadows.


  5. #5
    Eneko55 Guest

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    I just finished reading this (after watching the Farscape: The Peacekeepr Wars Part Two). They were both so sad and I'm crying again.
    Anyways, sniff, this was really good, poor Jirachi I feel so sorry for it.

  6. #6
    jirachiman876 Guest

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    this is a great fic no errors of any kind i could find and my firend that is reading this is also saddened by the poor jirachi and especially because its my screen name i liked it much better than i would if i had never heard of it. but anyway really good fic. i was making me tear up too

    jirachiman out

  7. #7
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    That was awesome, lilbluecorsola. That Jirachi definitely has it tough. This is a new thing though, doing a sequel to one of your Life of a Legend series subjects. It'd be really neat to do a sequel to Lugia's. That one was left kind of wide-open. Anyway, great job with this one, just like the others!
    Lost in the Haze The main storyline revolves around a boy named Chris who winds up on a pokemon journey without a pokemon[/conventionality]. He meets a girl named Lucy, who isn't really what she seems. She's quite detached, while at the same time appearing to be warm and friendly. Her true identity and past are amongst the myriad plot twists that make this fic so enjoyable. Alongside their journey, in a different place but intertwined with the main story is a Pikachu who has evolved from Pichu but forgotten how to use electric attacks. The two journies collide eventually, brought together by the appearance of the Haze, a destructive force able to take the form of the legendaries.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Burnt Flower
    Aww, poor Jirachi...

    I couldn't find a single spelling or grammar error so a very good job on both of these two aspects (wow, there seems to be only good fics today ). I like your writing style - this story had just the right amount of description without drowning your readers with details or making them bored by the lack of it.

    I admit, I haven't read your other Jirachi story nor have I seen the 6th movie so I couldn't appreciate it as fully if I had done both things. Anyway, wonderful insight of Jirachi's character and I actually felt quite sad (in fact, I wanted to hug it ) for its sake.

    You did a wonderful job with this one-shot!
    8D Wow, thank you so much Burnt Flower!

    S'okay. To be honest, I haven't seen the movie either. XP I just went by the summary.

    *hugs Jirachi for you* (^.~)

    Lolly for you! =D Thank you!

    Quote Originally Posted by 12Sangaril12
    I just finished reading this (after watching the Farscape: The Peacekeepr Wars Part Two). They were both so sad and I'm crying again.
    Anyways, sniff, this was really good, poor Jirachi I feel so sorry for it.
    ;.; *sniff* I know. *cries with you too*

    Thank you. ='} *lolly*

    Quote Originally Posted by jirachiman876
    this is a great fic no errors of any kind i could find and my firend that is reading this is also saddened by the poor jirachi and especially because its my screen name i liked it much better than i would if i had never heard of it. but anyway really good fic. i was making me tear up too
    Aw, thanks loff. =) *lolly*

    Quote Originally Posted by billy5772
    That was awesome, lilbluecorsola. That Jirachi definitely has it tough. This is a new thing though, doing a sequel to one of your Life of a Legend series subjects. It'd be really neat to do a sequel to Lugia's. That one was left kind of wide-open. Anyway, great job with this one, just like the others!
    o.O; Lugia? He died, didn't he? What more can I say?

    But, thank you! =) *supa lolly*


    ~*~
    epona, epona, soba ni oide,
    futari de ireba, kanashiku nanka nai
    dakara, epona, koko ni ite
    watashi no uta wo kiiteite ne



  9. #9
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    Whoops. *Lowers head in embarrassment about suggesting a sequel to a story that ended in the death of the main character.*
    Lost in the Haze The main storyline revolves around a boy named Chris who winds up on a pokemon journey without a pokemon[/conventionality]. He meets a girl named Lucy, who isn't really what she seems. She's quite detached, while at the same time appearing to be warm and friendly. Her true identity and past are amongst the myriad plot twists that make this fic so enjoyable. Alongside their journey, in a different place but intertwined with the main story is a Pikachu who has evolved from Pichu but forgotten how to use electric attacks. The two journies collide eventually, brought together by the appearance of the Haze, a destructive force able to take the form of the legendaries.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by billy5772
    Whoops. *Lowers head in embarrassment about suggesting a sequel to a story that ended in the death of the main character.*
    *pats* S'okay. =)

    Although, another sequel to Ho-Oh... X) That might be interesting. *insert ominous maniacal laughter here*


    ~*~
    epona, epona, soba ni oide,
    futari de ireba, kanashiku nanka nai
    dakara, epona, koko ni ite
    watashi no uta wo kiiteite ne



  11. #11
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    All I have to say is: OY! OY OY OY OY OY!
    I got alot of character depth, really got into it. The descriptions were very nice, not too short, but not so long it starts to bore the reader. I didn't know who the girl was at first, since I havn't read the other fanfic or seen the movie (I just read the summary), but I can understand it now. Got a real feel for Jirachi, his fun-loving personality, his immense sorrow and his lonelyness. very, very nice, lilbluecorsola!

    ~Psychic

    Pokéthon was a huge success! Check out our Facebook page for photos from the event!

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psychic
    All I have to say is: OY! OY OY OY OY OY!
    I got alot of character depth, really got into it. The descriptions were very nice, not too short, but not so long it starts to bore the reader. I didn't know who the girl was at first, since I havn't read the other fanfic or seen the movie (I just read the summary), but I can understand it now. Got a real feel for Jirachi, his fun-loving personality, his immense sorrow and his lonelyness. very, very nice, lilbluecorsola!

    ~Psychic
    Thanks. (^.^) I've learned to cut down on description, and focus on the feelings themselves instead. I think it makes my fics a lot better.

    O.O YOU KNOW WHO THE GIRL IS??!!! *graps Psychic by the collar* TELL ME!!!!

    XDDD Seriously, I have no idea who she is. I just made her up for the heck of it. Who do you think she is?

    Thanks a lot for reviewing! =D *supa lolly for a supa review*


    ~*~
    epona, epona, soba ni oide,
    futari de ireba, kanashiku nanka nai
    dakara, epona, koko ni ite
    watashi no uta wo kiiteite ne



  13. #13
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    Default ^-^

    Lol, I thought the girl was May! x_x
    But I was glad to do the review! Keep up the awsome work!

    ~Psychic

    Pokéthon was a huge success! Check out our Facebook page for photos from the event!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psychic
    Lol, I thought the girl was May! x_x
    But I was glad to do the review! Keep up the awsome work!

    ~Psychic
    May? o.O Hm, I suppose that is a possibility. I keep forgetting she's only ten years old...

    And thank you again. =) I try my best.


    ~*~
    epona, epona, soba ni oide,
    futari de ireba, kanashiku nanka nai
    dakara, epona, koko ni ite
    watashi no uta wo kiiteite ne



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