@Arc: The biggest trick to writing fight scenes is using strong vocabulary words. Instead of hit, use smash, crush, or something else. It stops you from overloading on the discription. Also, imagine it like a scene from the anime and pick out words that come to mind. A thesaurus spelling fail is your best friend.
.
Ah, I'll try that, thanks XD You remind me of that food reporter from DPPt...
@The new chapters - They seem interesting, please continue.
Erm... The bad thing about reading first and commenting later is that you usually forget what you wanted to say...
MC How does the Captain Commander know that Anon is about to attack? o.o And that chapter seems to have some misspelling... Have you run a spell checker? Unless you type that on Notepad of course...
Eon Allergic to fast moving air, lol.
Mental sighing is awesome XD
Er.... What does Iyasu mean? I'm pretty sure you made that one up since I don't remember using that name in my zanpakto description...
Oh, would your Garou be able to absorb Jin's vacuum slashes?
And late to the party
Spoiler:- Anime:
YAAAAAY we're going back to FKT next week 8D
Though, that was a good episode. Rukia had a new ability, White Tree. Hmmm. The anime does love to make things up And we get to see Ira next week too... Ugh.
Spoiler:- Manga:
A new hado 8D
And the combo is awesome. And now I guess Getsuga Tenshou is like, what, an inherited attack? But if Isshin has a constant release zanpakto like Ichigo, it's... gonna be boring. I mean, it'd mean the same abilities... And Getsuga Tensho is Ichigo's only attack. I was expecting to see some new abilities.
Jin: The condom is rather torn, don't you think?
This is just my theory, but Gin probably told Ichigo to run because he either saw Matsumoto or Unohana coming towards him. I'm crossing my finger for the latter 8D
Ah, I'll try that, thanks XD You remind me of that food reporter from DPPt...
Haha, glad to help
Erm... The bad thing about reading first and commenting later is that you usually forget what you wanted to say...
I usually write the review as I read.
Eon Allergic to fast moving air, lol.
Sounded like something you'd come up with if you were clueless, lol XD
Mental sighing is awesome XD
And your simultanious death glare with MC is more awesome
Er.... What does Iyasu mean? I'm pretty sure you made that one up since I don't remember using that name in my zanpakto description...
The command form of the verb heal. I just included it for extra extravagance, giving a chant/name to your healing technique.
Oh, would your Garou be able to absorb Jin's vacuum slashes?
Nope. I can't even use Kaisou Shikon to deflect them, like I can with your water attacks I'd normally absorb them, but that would be cheating because the water is your sword's blade :P. But, as you could see from the battle, I don't need my Shikai to beat a wind type that's not going all out.
Spoiler:- Chapter 29 - The Gods Aren’t Watching Right Now, Kid:
~~~
Takai paced nervously back and forth, in one of the many entrances to the Shinigami Slayers hideout. He was nervous…the Seretei not only countered all four of the corpses he had summoned, but the hollows that Noza had. He removed his mask and stroked his dreadlocks back…this was it, wasn’t it? The end?
At that moment, Noza himself stepped in through the opening. He glanced at Takai, and raised an eyebrow. “Status?”
“Lelek and Phasma are dead. Both of our techniques have been nullified, and truth be told…I’m beginning to question the sanity of this whole operation, Noza.”
“…Takai.” Noza said, “It has to be done. These evil *******s have slaughtered our kind for centuries! How sane is that, my friend?”
“I understand, but, I’m merely saying that with the forces we have left…even if we could free those three…”
“Stop, Takai.” He said, forcefully. “If successful, Pazzo’s attack will be more than enough to take care of this pathetic place…and I have the Head Captain himself tailing me…”
“No! Really!?”
“Yes, and once he’s dead, this whole place will tumble like a house of cards…”
“But…there are so many other Captains! The Seretei could theoretically function without a commander in a situation such as this!”
Noza placed his hand on his swords hilt. “Takai, my friend…” he placed his other hand on the man’s shoulder…”You’ve lost the Faith.”
Without a sound, Takai’s head fell from his neck, a bloody sword over his shoulder.
“This operation…cannot fail, said Noza, smiling as he placed his mask over his face, and the headless body crumpled lifelessly to the floor... “I’ll make sure of that myself…”
Placing his sword over his shoulder, he headed toward the other exit.
~~~
Back in the Seretei, a large area was set up in this small moment of peace for healing. Rebekah, with the help of Yobou, had met here, and the fourth Squad Captain had managed to heal her leg. Joubu was also being treated, as was Ant, who seemed to be stable, but his status could easily turn.
Mizuhashi was also here, he had called for help, and got Madison, Luppi, Jordan, and Kiyoko to this area as well. He was working on healing their specific injuries, as well as restoring their spiritual pressure…it was tough going, but he was making definite headway.
“You’re gonna surpass me, and soon, kid.”
Mizuhashi looked over, and Dosu was bent down, inspecting the injury of an unconscious shinigami.
“W-what, Taicho-sama?”
“I’m telling you, your zanpakutou will be better at healing than mine very shortly.” He smiled, as his sword removed most of the injury from the injured leg. “You’re gonna be a Captain someday, kid.”
Mizuhashis mouth was agape. Was that really possible? He considered that a long shot at best…until now…
“Thank you…sir”
“Heh, don’t mention it, kid.” Dosu stood and walked to another fallen soldier. Mizuhashi looked away, and the reality of the situation flooded back all at once.
There were shinigami laying everywhere, injured, dying, or dead. That hollow attack had done inconceivable amounts of damage. And the four reborn Captains had slaughtered several shinigami before ther were stopped.
Mizuhashi stood, and moved his water over some of the shinigami near by. “Dear God…”
“The Gods aren’t watching right now, kid.”
~~~
“It seems to be an illusionary attack…” mumbled Jin to Dre. “Something that makes our minds perceive everything to be…hmm…insane. You know, a warped reality, driving us insane.”
“Makes sense.”
Jin turned to look at Dre, and jumped. His appearance also mimicked the crazy looked portrayed by the duo…Large, circular faces, stretchy bodies…he looked down, and sure enough, his body also looked incredibly unusual…portraying an almost frightening feeling. He felt uneasy.
“Huh.”
He looked back over, and the taller black man had drawn his sword, and it glowed black. He attacked, but his entire body twisted in a spiral as he swung, and a large black and white wave of energy swirled and hit the wall that Dre and Jin were hiding behind. They jumped...they were fine, but the wall was destroyed completely, sending deformed blocks of concrete everywhere. Jin watched them…they flew continuously, as if not affected by gravity or any known laws…this was madness all right.
Both stood and drew their swords.
“Yakimasu Zenbu, Kitsune na hii!”
“Karani suru, Rekku!”
Dre’s sword, Kitsune na hii, became enflamed, and he swung it around swiftly and with ease, leaving a little trail of fire in the air.
Jin’s sword, Rekku, became double edged, and he held it faithfully at his side.
“Hey, Dre, remember how we practiced, OK?”
“Yeah…” he laughed…the new reality making the laugh quite scary. “I got it”
They raised their swords and attacked.
~~~
Golde stepped into the cave, and saw the horrific site…the beheaded corpse, blood still slowly oozing from it...the head laying just a few feet away.
“Tch…that *******…he doesn’t even have respect for his own followers.” Golde looked up toward the exit. He saw something on the wall…
“Your Blood Will Also Spill, Golde” was written in thin letters on the wall, written in what could only blood.
Golde drew his sword. “Ok, you son of a *****. We’ll see whose blood is going to spill.”
~~~
Eh. I'l try to keep a more regular schedule...since there's still SOO much more I want to write. I'll probably do this through college XD
maybe Kubo will take my story up *crosses fingers and wishes...*
And yeah, I consider myself well with fight scenes, as well. I could help =)
Oh, and I'd appreciate some...uh...can't remember the word...eh, opinions or whatever of my fic, much obliged.
And your simultanious death glare with MC is more awesome
The command form of the verb heal. I just included it for extra extravagance, giving a chant/name to your healing technique.
Nope. I can't even use Kaisou Shikon to deflect them, like I can with your water attacks.
That's the trouble, really. I usually copy first, read later, and reply even later on. XD
Ah yes, that too. XP
Ohh. I think I might include that in my zan description....
Hmmm.... So how'd you beat Jin?
Ermm.... Any other tips? XD I'm just, like, so blunt in designing various ways people fight so... yeah..
Oh, NL, I just remembered. About the Shinigami virus, you said it 'splits the soul into half and turn the torn soul into something else'?
...Now that sounds like Horcruxes to me. I've been rereading HP #7 lately.. XD
Ed Gonna read your chapter later... As usual 8D
Glancing at it, though... I think that's one of the perks for being the only member having a healing-type zanpakto, I guess. I get a lot of parts in wars =P
Oh f*ck. Noza is... ermm.................. He must be really fast, though, if he can slaughter Takai like that.
Why did he say that Takai has lost the faith, though? Just because he said that Sereitei can run fine without a Captain Commander?
'Our kind', lol. I really wonder how Noza kid himself into believing that they're akin to Hollow, lol. XD
I wonder what could be Bars's true power... If what they're seeing now is just an illusion. Hmmmm.
Spro's power is creating that illusion, right?
Oh: "Written in what could only be blood is the correct sentence, I think.
Last edited by arceus03; 29th May 2010 at 12:37 PM.
That's the trouble, really. I usually copy first, read later, and reply even later on. XD
Lol, ok then.
Ohh. I think I might include that in my zan description....
DO IT.
Hmmm.... So how'd you beat Jin?
Erm... how did I? I haven't fought him yet.
If you mean how would I beat Jin, I'd probably have to resort to my Bankai very early on. Of course, my Bankai can use all of its abilities by absorbing reishi, so I wouldn't be helpless anymore.
Ermm.... Any other tips? XD I'm just, like, so blunt in designing various ways people fight so... yeah...
Hm... well, that's not something that's easy to solve. You've seen the RP battles, right? Maybe try designing the fights like them to start, then adding more detail and putting them into story format later?
@Golde: Intresting chapter. Love how you set it up so that you'll be one-on-one against Noza and everyone else will probably be fighting Pazzo. The message on the wall and your last line were completely badass, lol.
The word you were looking for is critique.
Last edited by Eon Master; 29th May 2010 at 10:43 PM.
You must be thinking of Gantenbainne Mosqueda then.
Ah, yes Gantenbainne. Of course.
Originally Posted by Zameric
Spoiler:- manga 405:
Isshin has Getsuga Tensho! But when did he release his shikai?
Is it that his zan doesn't change appearance in shikai?
OH yeah, and we got to see some new abilities of Kisuke's shikai!
Spoiler:
As far as we know, it hasn't been released. It could be that he is in full release, like Ichigo, and his Shikai looks like a normal unreleased blade. Or, he can use Getsuga Tenshou without releasing (Ichigo only learned GT after releasing, right?
Originally Posted by Eon Master
Spoiler:- manga 405:
What the hell, Isshin invented Getsuga Tenshou? Intresting. And I'm guessing he has a constant release Zanpaktou as well.
Spoiler:
Ah, we don't know that. It could be an attack that is passed down like a Bloodline limit (in Naruto). It could be that he can copy attacks. Or it could be *blah blah blah*
Originally Posted by arceus03
4- Me too. I actually finished one chapter yesterday.... If anyone still remembers that, that is. I think (for now) my crappy fiction is continuing.
I do. And it's not crappy. It's good.
Originally Posted by Golde
Spoiler:- Chapter 29 - The Gods Aren’t Watching Right Now, Kid:
~~~
Takai paced nervously back and forth, in one of the many entrances to the Shinigami Slayers hideout. He was nervous…the Seretei not only countered all four of the corpses he had summoned, but the hollows that Noza had. He removed his mask and stroked his dreadlocks back…this was it, wasn’t it? The end?
At that moment, Noza himself stepped in through the opening. He glanced at Takai, and raised an eyebrow. “Status?”
“Lelek and Phasma are dead. Both of our techniques have been nullified, and truth be told…I’m beginning to question the sanity of this whole operation, Noza.”
“…Takai.” Noza said, “It has to be done. These evil *******s have slaughtered our kind for centuries! How sane is that, my friend?”
“I understand, but, I’m merely saying that with the forces we have left…even if we could free those three…”
“Stop, Takai.” He said, forcefully. “If successful, Pazzo’s attack will be more than enough to take care of this pathetic place…and I have the Head Captain himself tailing me…”
“No! Really!?”
“Yes, and once he’s dead, this whole place will tumble like a house of cards…”
“But…there are so many other Captains! The Seretei could theoretically function without a commander in a situation such as this!”
Noza placed his hand on his swords hilt. “Takai, my friend…” he placed his other hand on the man’s shoulder…”You’ve lost the Faith.”
Without a sound, Takai’s head fell from his neck, a bloody sword over his shoulder.
“This operation…cannot fail, said Noza, smiling as he placed his mask over his face, and the headless body crumpled lifelessly to the floor... “I’ll make sure of that myself…”
Placing his sword over his shoulder, he headed toward the other exit.
~~~
Back in the Seretei, a large area was set up in this small moment of peace for healing. Rebekah, with the help of Yobou, had met here, and the fourth Squad Captain had managed to heal her leg. Joubu was also being treated, as was Ant, who seemed to be stable, but his status could easily turn.
Mizuhashi was also here, he had called for help, and got Madison, Luppi, Jordan, and Kiyoko to this area as well. He was working on healing their specific injuries, as well as restoring their spiritual pressure…it was tough going, but he was making definite headway.
“You’re gonna surpass me, and soon, kid.”
Mizuhashi looked over, and Dosu was bent down, inspecting the injury of an unconscious shinigami.
“W-what, Taicho-sama?”
“I’m telling you, your zanpakutou will be better at healing than mine very shortly.” He smiled, as his sword removed most of the injury from the injured leg. “You’re gonna be a Captain someday, kid.”
Mizuhashis mouth was agape. Was that really possible? He considered that a long shot at best…until now…
“Thank you…sir”
“Heh, don’t mention it, kid.” Dosu stood and walked to another fallen soldier. Mizuhashi looked away, and the reality of the situation flooded back all at once.
There were shinigami laying everywhere, injured, dying, or dead. That hollow attack had done inconceivable amounts of damage. And the four reborn Captains had slaughtered several shinigami before ther were stopped.
Mizuhashi stood, and moved his water over some of the shinigami near by. “Dear God…”
“The Gods aren’t watching right now, kid.”
~~~
“It seems to be an illusionary attack…” mumbled Jin to Dre. “Something that makes our minds perceive everything to be…hmm…insane. You know, a warped reality, driving us insane.”
“Makes sense.”
Jin turned to look at Dre, and jumped. His appearance also mimicked the crazy looked portrayed by the duo…Large, circular faces, stretchy bodies…he looked down, and sure enough, his body also looked incredibly unusual…portraying an almost frightening feeling. He felt uneasy.
“Huh.”
He looked back over, and the taller black man had drawn his sword, and it glowed black. He attacked, but his entire body twisted in a spiral as he swung, and a large black and white wave of energy swirled and hit the wall that Dre and Jin were hiding behind. They jumped...they were fine, but the wall was destroyed completely, sending deformed blocks of concrete everywhere. Jin watched them…they flew continuously, as if not affected by gravity or any known laws…this was madness all right.
Both stood and drew their swords.
“Yakimasu Zenbu, Kitsune na hii!”
“Karani suru, Rekku!”
Dre’s sword, Kitsune na hii, became enflamed, and he swung it around swiftly and with ease, leaving a little trail of fire in the air.
Jin’s sword, Rekku, became double edged, and he held it faithfully at his side.
“Hey, Dre, remember how we practiced, OK?”
“Yeah…” he laughed…the new reality making the laugh quite scary. “I got it”
They raised their swords and attacked.
~~~
Golde stepped into the cave, and saw the horrific site…the beheaded corpse, blood still slowly oozing from it...the head laying just a few feet away.
“Tch…that *******…he doesn’t even have respect for his own followers.” Golde looked up toward the exit. He saw something on the wall…
“Your Blood Will Also Spill, Golde” was written in thin letters on the wall, written in what could only blood.
Golde drew his sword. “Ok, you son of a *****. We’ll see whose blood is going to spill.”
~~~
*Doesn't remember much of the previous chapters*
So it's coming closer and closer to the end... I'd like to see that final fight, and who the other captains fight (and if they survive 8O). I don't really have a whole lot more to say for now.
Last edited by I like Pokemon (...); 29th May 2010 at 11:37 PM.
YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!
Click HERE to be rickrolled... c'mon, you know you want to.
Spoiler:- I HAVE DEFIED ALL MATHS AND LOGIC!:
A = B
A^2 = AB
A^2 - B^2 = AB - B^2
(A + B)(A - B) = B(A - B)
(A + B) = B
A + B = B
B + B = B
2B = B 2 = 1
3) @Kurris - Mind posting those same pics of my masks here, too? /Toolazy
Here ya go.
If you could use a Zanpaktou of any character, whos would it be and why?
I would have to pick Tosen's zanpakuto. It is pretty similar to my zan, and I also think Suzumushi is a cool zanpakuto.
Here is your new chart, Kusari...
Another great chapter Golde.
I kind of respect Noza's ruthlessness and devotion towards his goals.
I just plain laughed at Mizuhashi's reaction.
I can't wait to read the Jin+Dre fight.
I'll read the other chapters that I have missed out on. Hopefully the rest of you will make an archive page like Ed suggested.
Last edited by Zameric; 30th May 2010 at 1:09 AM.
Please check out my 4th & 5th gen trade thread posts.
ok writing the chapter later. should be up by tomorrow. VB is going to be pleased with this one. i make him out to be quite the little badass. and NL might be a little against me after it.
@Zam: thanks for the chart except my defense was 15, physical strength was 100 and offense was 90. so yeah. danke.
One mischievous little woodpecker
Another day, pecking your holes
Ruining the woods, tree wrecker
The angry old forest god turned your poor beak into a poison knife
Poor little wood pecker, your nesting holes are all tainted
Your food with toxins rife
Touch your friends, and they all will die falling at your feet
Oh, sad little woodpecker
Poisonous tears, shining brightly, as they stream down your cheeks
ok writing the chapter later. should be up by tomorrow. VB is going to be pleased with this one. i make him out to be quite the little badass. and NL might be a little against me after it.
@Zam: thanks for the chart except my defense was 15, physical strength was 100 and offense was 90. so yeah. danke.
Woo! . Thank's kusari. .
Yo, sorry for being inactive guys, my computers jacked, won't open firefox, freezes half the time for no reason, claims im disconnnected from the internet, it's horrible. Yah.. so.. Chapter 1 will probably be up in my next post, when i can get back on the internet. That's all for now. > Can i kill something now?
Originally Posted by ILP
We're Mad.
Our 1st Squad Captain has an insane sweet tooth
Our 2nd Squad Captain is some super-ninja
Our 3rd Squad Captain is part wolf
Our 4th Squad Captain bakes cookies and cuts up anyone who makes him mad
Our 5th Squad Captain is some party-crazy army man
Our 6th Squad Captain is calm, prideful and pervy
Our 7th Squad Captain seems to be, barely, the only sane one
Our 8th Squad Captain is missing
Our 9th Squad Captain is a shy, respectful, boring and pervy
Our 10th Squad Captain hates some of our OWN captains
Our 11th Squad Captain is a sadistic maniac
Our 12th Squad Captain is an insane nerd
Our 13th Squad Captain is sleeping
Woohoo chapter 2. ok quick overview of important things. NL and Zam's knowledge of Arrancar and Espada is revealed. The chapter title 'Corruption' is explained. And i make Blue feel good.
Spoiler:- Corruption pt.2:
A young man with a cane walked through the door to the recovery room where Kida and Zam sat.
"Golde," they spoke in unison.
"Captain's Hall. Immdiately." His voice was lax but ominous. The young head captain quickly turned and exited the room. The departure was proceeded by the entrance of Mizuhashi Akira, the fourth squad captain.
The elite reapers exchanged nervous glances. "I suppose we should move." Mizuhashi said.
--------------
"This captain's meeting will now begin" Golde spoke. "I have called the remaining lieutenants here as well as we are short the captains of the fifth, eighth and eleventh squads. Then there's the missing lieutenants of squads six and nine. Plus the other officers of..."
"Damn Golde! Get on with it already!" Rotrum, the tenth captain, yelled.
"Ah yes. Back to the matter at hand. At approximatly 6:30 pm today, the new captain of squad 13, Yasushi Hayashi, was kidnapped by four arrancar level hollows."
"So how the hell'd he get captured?" Seijuro Arashi grunted, his shoulder length black hair swayed as he jerked his head towards the head captain. "All the arrancars have gone back to their incomplete forms since Aizen was killed." He kicked the floor with his boots.
"Um, I believe I can explain that one," a voice on the opposite side of the room answered.
"Hell yeah. Leave it up to our resident nerd to explain the weird **** goin' on here." Jordan Michishige laughed. His squad six haori hung from his shoulder.
"Jordan shut up and let Ryuu talk." Kida sighed.
"Hey mutt. Why don't you stay out of this and go eat some kibble?"
"Ya know what Jordan you could lay off." Faust, the second lieutenant, glared.
This exchange began a series of insults among the officers. Golde sat back and Ryuu chose not to get involved. One man, however had had enough.
"BANKAI! Disappear and Reappear, Kokuchouyaku Senshu !" All the other reapers turned to see little Cameron Blue holding a pitch black zanpakuto. "Grip, Kuroi Te*." The shadows cast by the candle light in the room formed into hands and grabbed all the attendees around their abdomens. "Now we're all gonna be quiet and listen to what Schiffer has to say. We lost an ally and Ryuu might know how to get him back. Got it?" All nodded in agreement.
"Thank you Cameron." Golde smiled at the young man. "Can you keep them restrained until Ryuu is finished?"
"Yessir." The boy saluted and shook his blue bangs from his eyes.
"Captain Schiffer continue if you please."
------------
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Yasushi cried. Hollows were again being force fed down his throat. They were bigger than before however. They were hulking and had been his only source of food for the past hour. The young captain was chained to a white wall in a large room. It was bare except for the chains that bound him to the wall and a staircase opposite of him. The doorway at the peak of the slope was the only source of light.
Hayashi raised his head slightly and peered through his sweat drenched hair towards the staircase. A man no older than the captain with blonde hair reaching his mid-back was approching.
"How is he coming Raya?" He asked polietly.
"Look for yourself." The girl jerked his head up to reveal a hole in his chest. "Time for your magic right?"
"Almost. Lakir** let the Adjuchas out and bring in the lorde." A purple haired man pulled up a floor tile and motioned for the hollows to exit through it. After the last beast had filed out he dropped the tile and lifted an adjacent one.
A human sized being appeared from the hole. It had a green body and bull-like mask. Raya pried the captive's mouth open. Immediatly afterwards the hollow charged into his mouth.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hayashi screamed in pain. Dark energy flowed from the hole in his chest.
"Now it's time for my magic. Breakdown and Repair, Zasshu***." The katana in his hand changed very little. A hollow tube appeared inside the blade. It was blood red.
"Here it comes." Lakir giggled.
"Breakdown." He traced the inside of the hole in the captain's left pectoral in a clockwise motion. The spirit particles in the chest became weaker. "Repair." A counter clockwise motion was made this time.
As the blade turned the liquid in the tube fused with the particles inside the hole. A white substance poured from the hole and surronded Hayashi's body.
For five minutes the pale goo ebbed. At the sixth minute it faded away. Where the tired, chained captain once knelt a confident man now stood. His eyes were emerald green and his shaggy hair was a blue-green tint.**** His black robes were replaced by loose white pants and an open short sleeve jacket that reached just past his ***. The jacket concieled the bone plates on his shoulder.The spiritual pressure had increased dramatically after his release. The only one unaffected was the man holding the sword.
"Lakir, behind his left ear give him the number two. Espada what is your name?"
"Zoma. Zoma Aduka." The hollow replied smuggly.
"And who do you serve?"
"You, master."
"And what is my name?"
"Your name is Hayate Zakei and I serve you."
-----------------
"Well," Schiffer began, "I don't know how they're doing it this time but I know it is different from the method used 300 years ago. They also seem to be stronger the way Kida's beat up."
"Well is that all you know?"
"Um there is one other thing. A specimen I was able to take a look at seemed to not be wearing a mask."
"Whaddya mean by that?" Blue asked.
"Well its bone fragments seemed to be armor rather than a mask."
"I don't see anything really strange with that but that doesn't mean we're going to give up. Cameron let them down." The young lieutenant did just what the head captain ordered. "Zameric, Blue I need to see you two personally. The rest of you go back to your barracks."
The black haired captain and blue haired lieutenant knelt down in front of their captain-commander.
"At ease." He chuckled. "Ok I want to put together a team for a rescue mission. A five man team. Zam you've fought them before so I want to send you. And Cameron after the way you have behaved tonight I want you to accompany Zam on this mission."
"When do we leave?" Zam asked.
"Three days from now at noon. You two need to think it over and find your other three teammates by then."
"Yessir." They replied in unison.
"You may go."
The comrades turned and walked out the large wooden doors.
"Oh yeah." Golde said. "Don't tell Kida. With a broken arm and leg she is in no condition to go."
"Yessir." Zam replied.
-------------
"They'll be coming for you soon. You know that right?" Raya addressed Zoma.
"Of course. And when they do I'll splatter their blood and strew their entrails all across Hueco Mundo." Zoma replied.
I know it is a bit shorter than the last one but i got to the points i wanted. and again i want your criticism. and i know typos are in there but my word program screwed up and i wasn't able to use spell check.
notes:
*:VB- i used your bankai ability to solidify shadows to make hands for restraints. as for the attack name it means Black Hand.
**: He's an arrancar and his name is pronounced Lockeer
***: Zasshu means Hybrid referring to his ability to fuse spirit particles
****: Like the color of Grimmjow's hair
@Zam: i only gave you one set of stats a couple pages ago. i think you may be mistaking me for cell
Last edited by kusari; 31st May 2010 at 7:25 AM.
One mischievous little woodpecker
Another day, pecking your holes
Ruining the woods, tree wrecker
The angry old forest god turned your poor beak into a poison knife
Poor little wood pecker, your nesting holes are all tainted
Your food with toxins rife
Touch your friends, and they all will die falling at your feet
Oh, sad little woodpecker
Poisonous tears, shining brightly, as they stream down your cheeks
Interesting.. interesting. So your espada # 2 now? i get it, the force fed hollows turn people into arrancars, i think, if i read it write. Oh and I DO feel quite good actually. . And yay! im part of the 5 man rescue team! go me! xD. And Little Cameron Blue? Lol. That is HILARIOUS. xD I loved that. Go me. So Let me get this straight, it takes mutliple hollows from all levels to make an espada out of a human plus the antagonist's ability? Mhm...K. I like your story kusari.
Hm.. Other then that, im still working on getting firefox up, and i wasn't planning on posting this early, so i'll edit this post later with my story. O_o.
Originally Posted by ILP
We're Mad.
Our 1st Squad Captain has an insane sweet tooth
Our 2nd Squad Captain is some super-ninja
Our 3rd Squad Captain is part wolf
Our 4th Squad Captain bakes cookies and cuts up anyone who makes him mad
Our 5th Squad Captain is some party-crazy army man
Our 6th Squad Captain is calm, prideful and pervy
Our 7th Squad Captain seems to be, barely, the only sane one
Our 8th Squad Captain is missing
Our 9th Squad Captain is a shy, respectful, boring and pervy
Our 10th Squad Captain hates some of our OWN captains
Our 11th Squad Captain is a sadistic maniac
Our 12th Squad Captain is an insane nerd
Our 13th Squad Captain is sleeping
Wow, it looks like everybody and their mom are writing Bleach fanfics now. No surprise, seeing how moms tend to be related to cleaning products...
In the mean time, I'm just drawing random pictures...
Originally Posted by Eon
Erm... how did I? I haven't fought him yet.
If you mean how would I beat Jin, I'd probably have to resort to my Bankai very early on. Of course, my Bankai can use all of its abilities by absorbing reishi, so I wouldn't be helpless anymore.
Well, my vacuum blades are actually...like...a vacuum. That means they've got nothing inside them, not even reishi.
Of course, then I'd need an explanation of where my reishi goes when I use shikai...
...
...
...Let's say I use it to maintain my shikai and bankai's forms as well as produce pressure-related effects. I don't use reishi as projectiles is the main point here (except when using kido).
Check here for my Gijinka Project. (Alright, so I'm not good with advertising, is that such a big problem?)
Check here for my comic series, Fettuccine and Friends. (Well, at least I'm trying to advertise.)
XD, forget swords and insults i would have attacked Jordon with my bare hands and fangs for that comment i get violent at derogative comments
8O, i have a broken arm and leg why do you hate your ex-Captain so, well yeah, for a Wolf if they get a broken leg it's pretty much death for them in the wild, so i guess i'm pretty defensive and passive at the moment. Curled up in my office or Division 4.
Wow, it looks like everybody and their mom are writing Bleach fanfics now. No surprise, seeing how moms tend to be related to cleaning products...
*Facepalm* I swear you're like me and my dad with these jokes.
@Kusari
Definitely an interesting chapter.
The way the Captains all reacted to each other... Somehow, I just don't think it'd actually be like that. I'd imagine the Captains meeting being more... quite and respectful. Though of course, it sure made for an interesting "Hell yeah. Leave it up to our resident nerd to explain the weird **** goin' on here."
So I see THAT'S how they become Arrancars... Interesting. Especially since you defined an Arrancar as, it seems, "A creature devoid of a heart with a piece of armour formed from some bone-like material." or something along those lines. Seeing as how the Bleach universe defines an Arrancar as "A Hollow that has undergone the transformation of Shinigamification by breaking their mask (whether "naturally" or by the Hougyoku)."
Also, Hayate's ability is interesting. Whether he is a Shinigami himself (though the lack of a Zanpakutou shows that he isn't) or an Arrancar (which bares the question, how did he become an Arrancar?) or something entirely different (in which case, what is he).
Or how Hayate knew that Zoma was the 2nd strongest Arrancar. Then who is the first, I wonder...
Well, if the newest (and probably, then, the most inexperienced) Captain became an Arrancar, then I think he could be on par a high-leveled Captain, which I think would be about equal concerning Espada-Captain level comparisons, and allowing Golde an someone else (a de-Hollowified Yasushi?) fighting Espada 1, Hayate, and any other stronger-than-Espada villains.
All in all, definitely a lot of ideas that can be explored, and questions that could be answered. Let's just see how well you answer them. (And yes, I know you won't answer these questions in the review reply reply, these are just my thoughts and ideas, and at least you know what to keep an idea of to explain if you don't already).
EDIT: How could I forget to mention... Epic sig, NL.
YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!
Click HERE to be rickrolled... c'mon, you know you want to.
Spoiler:- I HAVE DEFIED ALL MATHS AND LOGIC!:
A = B
A^2 = AB
A^2 - B^2 = AB - B^2
(A + B)(A - B) = B(A - B)
(A + B) = B
A + B = B
B + B = B
2B = B 2 = 1
@VB: i knew you'd like that. i get how it's funny and i wanted it that way. and you were a bit of a badass, restraining captains and lieutnants and all. i talk about the transformation process further down.
@NL: yeah i thought you might have gone hand to hand, but two broken limbs ya know. and i don't hate you. this was a setup for the triumphent return i have planned for you. the whole "wolf-broken-leg" thing i did not know. you kind fought two savages at once. oh and great sig
@ILP: it seems i'm going to get the world 'interesting' a lot. that definition hm. i'm using that from here out. but remember, only soul reapers have called them arrancar but the 'arrancar' have only spoken of themselves as Espada.
Hayate is a soul reaper. Zasshu is his zanpakuto. that being said, his going to Hueco is for an entirely different reason as Aizen. as for the number two: the spiritual pressure increase right after the 'birth' was Zoma's uncontrolled energy. so technically Raya and Lakir could have figured that out as well but Hayate being master gives him final say in ranking.
A high level captain will fight Hayashi. the issue of espada 1 fight: Yasushi is not going to fight number 1. the purification of Hayashi is already planned and after the 'process' he won't be fighting for a while.
and on a final note: ILP and VB. i guess i'll blow it now, my volunteers get to go out fighting. so now i'm done
One mischievous little woodpecker
Another day, pecking your holes
Ruining the woods, tree wrecker
The angry old forest god turned your poor beak into a poison knife
Poor little wood pecker, your nesting holes are all tainted
Your food with toxins rife
Touch your friends, and they all will die falling at your feet
Oh, sad little woodpecker
Poisonous tears, shining brightly, as they stream down your cheeks
Well, my vacuum blades are actually...like...a vacuum. That means they've got nothing inside them, not even reishi.
That's not what I meant. My Bankai allows me to absorb reishi from objects and the air, meaning I can use my techniques against any opponent. It really covers for my weakness.
Spoiler:- Kusari Chapter 2:
Haha, Blue finally gets his day.
I also got my first line, lol.
"Hey mutt. Why don't you stay out of this and go eat some kibble?"
Totally out of character for MC, but still epic win.
EDIT: I'm channeling ILP...
That banner, NL. Omgepicwin.
Last edited by Eon Master; 31st May 2010 at 4:27 PM.
@ILP: it seems i'm going to get the world 'interesting' a lot.
Well, it's the only word I can think of.
Originally Posted by kusari
that definition hm. i'm using that from here out. but remember, only soul reapers have called them arrancar but the 'arrancar' have only spoken of themselves as Espada.
hmmm... interesting.
Originally Posted by kusari
Hayate is a soul reaper. Zasshu is his zanpakuto. that being said, his going to Hueco is for an entirely different reason as Aizen. as for the number two: the spiritual pressure increase right after the 'birth' was Zoma's uncontrolled energy. so technically Raya and Lakir could have figured that out as well but Hayate being master gives him final say in ranking.
Ah, okay. So Hayate is a Shinigami... this'll be interesting.
I just thought, since he would probably have a large army, that it'd be somewhat difficult to rank them after just "feeling" their Reiatsu. Though, of course, I could make some arguments about how it's possible.
Originally Posted by kusari
A high level captain will fight Hayashi. the issue of espada 1 fight: Yasushi is not going to fight number 1. the purification of Hayashi is already planned and after the 'process' he won't be fighting for a while.
Ah, okay. Hayashi, Yusashi, Hayate, all these names are confusing me >.<
Originally Posted by kusari
and on a final note: ILP and VB. i guess i'll blow it now, my volunteers get to go out fighting. so now i'm done
WOO. Having the nerd on a rescue mission will be very nice. Also, I think it'll be easy for Blue and Zam to get me to join the team. I wonder if Arc, the medic, will come too...
Originally Posted by Eon Master
EDIT: I'm channeling ILP...
youwhatnow
Last edited by I like Pokemon (...); 31st May 2010 at 5:00 PM.
YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!
Click HERE to be rickrolled... c'mon, you know you want to.
Spoiler:- I HAVE DEFIED ALL MATHS AND LOGIC!:
A = B
A^2 = AB
A^2 - B^2 = AB - B^2
(A + B)(A - B) = B(A - B)
(A + B) = B
A + B = B
B + B = B
2B = B 2 = 1
@ILP: not i got you started using interesting about everything. i have the replacment for the word arrancar i just need to learn how to say it in spanish.
the ranking by 'feeling' thing: Hayate is just that badass. and as for the large army i'll explain the exact way the transformation was done since you guys keep hit right around the edges.
Spoiler:- transformation steps:
Step 1) Excess amounts of hollows are fed to the subject. starts with small fry so the subject will have an inner desire to eat more this causes an overflow of hollow energy inside the body. this effectivley creates a hole for non-hollows and a larger hole for existing hollows.
Step 2) Hayate Zakei's zanpakuto is Zasshu, which means hybrid. the blade was originally used for healing by loosening the spirit particles, removing the tainted ones and then repairing the wound with gathered particles stored in the tube of the blade. Zakei however, uses particles gathered from slayed hollows. he looses the bonds in the whole, then restores it using the stockpiled energy.
Step 3) the bone like material pours from the hole in gelatinous form. the subject is engulfed. this is the step where the form is changed.
Step 4) known as the 'birth' stage. the strength of the hollow inside the 'cloud' determines how long the 'cloud' is covering. it could be around for six minutes or thirty days. when the bone disappears a new hollow is left in its place.
well step by step that is the transformation process.
and ILP to make it easier on you and everyone else i will start reffering to myself in the story as Zoma. just remember Hayate is the evil one.
@Eon: i know the insult seems out of character but it's a tense time. officers are already missing and then a captain is kidnapped by hollows. what're ya gonna do
One mischievous little woodpecker
Another day, pecking your holes
Ruining the woods, tree wrecker
The angry old forest god turned your poor beak into a poison knife
Poor little wood pecker, your nesting holes are all tainted
Your food with toxins rife
Touch your friends, and they all will die falling at your feet
Oh, sad little woodpecker
Poisonous tears, shining brightly, as they stream down your cheeks
@Eon: i know the insult seems out of character but it's a tense time. officers are already missing and then a captain is kidnapped by hollows. what're ya gonna do
Good point. I'd probably start coming up with ways to beef up Seireitei security, as that's my job in a crisis situation.
Btw, I'd love to fight Hayashi, if you're looking for voulnteers XD
Originally Posted by ILP
youwhatnow
I'm channeling you. We both forgot to comment on NL's banner and then edited our posts :P
Last edited by Eon Master; 1st June 2010 at 12:11 AM.
Originally Posted by Eon Master
I'm pretty sure you made that one up since I don't remember using that name in my zanpakto description...
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