I'm probably going to have to respond to those reviews at a later time, but thanks to the awesomeness of both of you. :D

Also, Absol, I'm just going to say right here and now that I lol'd.

Aaaanyway, the Christmas special! Funny thing about that, actually. (Besides the fact that I'm not actually Christian and don't normally celebrate Christmas to begin with.) See, most of the volunteers failed to respond after volunteering, one of my voice actors couldn't finish her recordings, and my sound editor (and Bill's voice actor) is currently suffering from severely limited computer time. As a result, the only files I have are a handful of clips of the full play. I may post the play itself (as opposed to the audio file) if people request it, but if not, it may be salvaged for next year. Or whenever. Who knows?

In the meantime, I wrote and recorded a couple of other things for you instead. The first is the following skit, and the second is something that was requested forever and a day ago by a handful of people here.

Because the file size actually exceeds... every sane limitation this forum has to offer, I've not only put both recordings in a handy ZIP file but also plopped everything down on an external site.

To download the entire ZIP folder, simply click this: http://db.tt/dgcVjcn9

Alternatively, to download each file separately...
- Click here for the holiday special: http://db.tt/fKscGtXm
- Click here for just the prologue: http://db.tt/UYlsMdKX

Or you can simply enjoy this script without listing to anything at the same time! It's completely up to you!

Lastly, if any of the links aren't working, feel free to let me know. Thanks!

And happy holidays to all my lovely readers!


Anima Ex Machina
Special 01: Pay no attention to the people behind the curtain


VALENTINE
Hi, folks! JX Valentine, your friendly neighborhood author here with a special holiday treat for you. And it's going to be really great! There's going to be singing and dancing, and Bill and Thom are going to get drunk at some point, and—

LANETTE
Hold on. Hold on. Wait just a second.

VALENTINE
Uh, oh hey, Lanette! What's going on?

LANETTE
None of this is in the script.

VALENTINE laughs nervously.

VALENTINE
Funny you should mention that.

LANETTE
You didn't finish, did you?

VALENTINE
Oh, come now! It's really hard organizing an entire cast to do your dirty work, and God help you if you think I should do it by myself. Nobody should be subject to my fake English accent.

LANETTE
So instead you half-ass it by doing just one skit with all of the characters you were going to voice yourself in the full play.

VALENTINE
Uh, yeah, pretty much.

LANETTE
You do realize, don't you, that this isn't going to work, right? We have the same voice, and Domino's is just ridiculous.

DOMINO
How is my voice ridiculous?

LANETTE
Obnoxious, then.

DOMINO
Hey!

VALENTINE
Well, we've got to do something for the Christmas special, shouldn't we? I mean, we said we were all going to, and the only clip we have of the other actors is the file where all the guys demonstrate holiday-themed pickup lines. (pause) Actually, maybe I should post that file.

LANETTE
If you post a file of Bill and me in a situation that can be remotely construed as romantic, I will castrate him.

VALENTINE
Isn't t