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Thread: Dawn...Ashes true gem (pearlshipping)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    in the tower of arg-nar
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    Default Dawn...Ashes true gem (pearlshipping)

    a one-shot i wrote for a friend, She liked it & told me too place it in the shipping fic section...This is my first time writing a shipping fic.

    Please review as i like to see want you think of my writing & what i need to improve...

    pokemon & all other pokemon related things are owned & licenced by Nintendo...i do not own pokemon (although i wish i did...)

    Dawn: Ashes true gem (a pearlshipping fic) rated PG to be safe

    (Dawn had finished her appeal in her latest contest & now it was up to the judges…)

    A boy named ash walked the long hallway to the coordinators waiting area.
    He wore a closed, black, sleeveless zip up jacket with its collar flipped up, underneath that he had a white shirt. He wore a pair of blue baggy jeans, which were held up by a black belt, which had six attachments called pokeballs…
    On his jet black hair was placed a red baseball cap with a black middle.

    As he entered the room the screens began showing the coordinators who would make it to the next round.
    Ash after finally finding dawn amongst the sea of coordinators approached her. As soon as she saw him, she looked away & ran towards the back of the room.
    He knew there was something wrong so he followed her.
    As he turned his head to squeeze past some people he noticed that Dawns picture wasn’t on the finalists board. Suddenly he knew what was wrong…
    “Oh no” he thought as he chased her.
    He finally caught up to Dawn, who was sobbing in the corner. He placed a hand on her shoulder, but she didn’t look up
    “Dawn, it’s ok,” ash tried to comfort her
    “No it’s not…I didn’t even make it past the first round. It says that I’m just a failure,” she sobbed

    He looked at girl in front of him…
    He loved everything about her. From her blue eyes that every time he looked into he became lost, too the way the room lit up when ever she entered.
    Now seeing her like this he knew he had to do something…
    “Don’t put yourself down like that. You’ll never be a failure to me,”
    “Oh Ash,” she said as she threw herself into his arms & hugged him tightly. He could smell the shampoo she used…Coconut his personal favorite….
    He raised the sobbing girls head so he could look into her eyes. She stared at him with complete purity, with tears in her eyes. He knew then what he must do…

    “Dawn…there’s something I must tell you,”
    She stopped crying but her eyes were still glassy.
    “What is it Ash?” she asked
    He smiled, then slowly bent forwards & kissed her soft pink lips. She was totally shocked at this but decided not to fight it.
    “Hopefully that said everything that I couldn’t,” he spoke as they parted
    She smiled & hugged him closer. Finally he had kissed her & she didn’t pull away.

    “What took you so long?” she said
    “What do you mean?”
    She then lean forward & kissed him back, To Ashes amazement.
    “I’ve known for a long time that you’ve loved me, I just never thought you’d admit it,”
    He felt a wave of relief wash over him as she said those words. No longer will he have to hide his true feeling anymore.
    “Well Dawn what can I say. You may have not won this contest, but you have won my heart,”
    Dawn smiled at that remark “Well I guess that’s one good consultation prize,” then giggled.
    Then the two left hand in hand to look for Brock…
    THE END
    Last edited by Mr. amazing400; 1st February 2010 at 4:30 AM.
    i have officially claimed the beast formally known as hippowdon...fear his awesoness
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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
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    Sinnoh Region
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    whoa!! at the end. What i mean where did you get this idea? i like it. If remarked, /5, 4/5 for me..

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    120

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    Sorry, call me a grammer nazi if you want, but I couldn't get past the title. Correct me if I'm wrong if you're referring to Ash then it should be Ash's True Gem, if you're referring to volcanic ash, then would it not be Ashes' True Gem or Ashes of a/the True Gem.

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