View Poll Results: How do you like my chaps so far?

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  • Excellent! Keep writing!

    47 59.49%
  • It's okay. It's really funny!

    25 31.65%
  • Needs more length

    16 20.25%
  • ummm...... not the best I've seen

    7 8.86%
  • Eww! I hate it! Stop writing now!!

    4 5.06%
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Thread: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL fic

  1. #26
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    Thanks guys! Keep the reviews comin'! I'm glad you all liked it.
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  2. #27
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    Now it's a Christmas fic too! Chappies could be longer though. i shouldn't be talking though, seeing my fanfics aren't nearly as long.

    Anyways, great fic, and can't wait for the next chappie!
    Jetshipping (Hilbert x Skyla) is my BW OTP

    Banner by Kamex

  3. #28
    mystic_girl Guest

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    Thats a really good second chapie! Length has really improved. Description is going quite well to. Hopefully the next chapies coming soon, again i'll say its really good for a first fic. Can't wait till the next chapie comes by!
    Keep trying!

    ~mystic_girl

  4. #29
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    Okay, I have to tell you the truth... The origin of this entire Fic is a dream that I had one night, except it was me instead of Ash and instead of May, a girl in my 2nd period class in school. One thing: The girl thinks I'm wierd.... No idea why.
    There is a reason that I didn't put as much length in the first 2 chaps. They always seem so long on Microsoft Word, and they just turn out short... But anyway, I'm so happy that you all like it! I'll do my best on the rest! I'm currently starting the 4th chap.

    EDIT: It's done!!! So here ya go:

    Previously in Awakening of Darkness: The Beginning of the End. Malek had found out about the power of friendship that Ash had, and decided to try and break the bond by capturing May, Brock and Max, then luring Ash to the fortress. He also discovered that Ash is headed for Petalburg city. He’s in a learning mood, huh? What’s his evil plan? Find out in:

    Chapter four: His Master’s Choice

        Spoiler:


    As he sat in the far corner of his throne room, Malek was finally happy for once. “Servant! The boy’s going to Petalburg city, right? I order you to intercept their path, keep them busy; I’ll take care of the rest. If it gets too hard, retreat and tell me exactly what happened, so I’ll be ready next time.”
    “Yes Master. Your wish is my command. I will intercept the boy’s path and stop him dead in his tracks.” The servant bowed, and left the throne room.
    “Remember: Don’t kill him, just distract him long enough for me to execute my plan. If you bring him in dead or hurt in any way, my plan will not work.”
    Ash had no idea what was about to happen, he could only think about how and when he would confess to May. They had just got to Verdanturf town, when they saw Norman and Caroline going to the Pokemon Mart.
    “Mom? Dad? What are you doing here? And why are you going to this Pokemon Mart, when there’s one in Oldale town?” May was confused. She was happy to see her Mom and Dad, but she didn’t expect it this early.
    “Um… We were just shopping for something they didn’t have in Oldale town.” Caroline replied, nervously.
    Norman tried to sneak away, but wasn’t fast enough for May.
    “Where are you going Dad? And what are you looking for, Mom?” She asked. Ash got very confused, as usual. But this time, he had good news.
    “Guess what: Since I can’t make it back to Kanto in time for Christmas, I’ve decided that I’m going to stay with you! That is, if it’s okay with you.” With that, Caroline had an excited look on her face, and her sapphire blue eyes widened.
    “Of course you can stay with us! It’s nice that May will have friends over for the holidays. Hmm… now that I think about it, we’ll have to prepare a special dinner for the occasion!”
    Ash licked his lips. You could tell he liked the sound of that just by looking at him. “Mmm… that sounds great, thanks! Hey Pikachu, you like that don’t you?” At the moment, Pikachu was like a clone of Ash. He was licking his lips too. “Pika!”
    Brock just had to ruin the moment. “Um… one question: Why are we standing in the middle of Verdanturf town? Shouldn’t we be headed back to Littleroot town?”
    May, as if waking up from a dream, jumped up at this suggestion. “Yeah, you’re right. Well? What are we waiting for? Let’s go!”
    Back at Malek’s Shadow fortress, Malek had been waiting for a report back from his servant for a while now.
    *sigh* “This is getting boring. Shouldn’t the boy be at Petalburg city by now? What could’ve been delaying him so much?” Instead of waiting, he decided to check out the problem. He typed on the keyboard, and an image of the young man appeared onscreen. “What the heck is going on?! Isn’t the boy there yet?”
    “No sir. I haven’t seen him yet, but I will report when I get his location.”
    “You’d better.” The computer clicked off and Malek sat back down. “Apparently, he doesn’t know the consequences for disobeying me, but he will learn from watching what happens to the boy for betraying me…” his red eyes glared even brighter, “very soon…”
    And, a couple hours later, back with the group, Ash and friends had just arrived in Petalburg city and saw smoke from the other side of Rusturf tunnel.
    “Smoke? Let’s see what’s happening!” The team ran through Rusturf tunnel, and encountered a few Whismurs, but nothing else.
    “Time to report back” the servant turned on his wrist-communicator. “Master, I have found the boy.”
    Malek was pleased. “Good… now, you know what to do.”
    Ash had the same look on his face as he did whenever he got angry. “What do you think you’re doing?! Do you have any idea how much damage you’re causing?”
    The servant turned around, “Yes… I know exactly what I’m doing…”
    Ash and May’s jaws both dropped when they caught a look of the servant.
    “BRENDAN?!”
    “Yes… it’s me… the one you trusted so much, the one you gave all your friendship to, the one who has now turned against you, and destroying everything you loved.” His white hair was blowing in the violent wind, while his emerald-green eyes reflected the black sky above them. He blinked and they turned dark red.
    May was as surprised as she could be. “But why? Why did you turn against us?”
    Malek showed up behind Brendan. “Let me answer your question. He is under the influence of his Master’s choice. I explained that either he distracts you long enough for me to execute my plan, or be destroyed for disobeying me. And he has served me well… he has given me enough time to complete my plan. And because of that, I’ll let him get a piece of the action. Take it away!” The shadowy creature stepped back, allowing Brendan to begin his plan.
    “Well, well, well… if it isn’t Ashy boy. Prepare to be destroyed!” He took a Poke Ball from his belt, and threw it out… “Come on out, Technus!” ... Forcing a silver Metagross to explode from the red-and-white ball.
    “A Metagross?! A shiny Metagross?! Where did he get that kind of power?” Ash exclaimed.
    “From Malek. When I chose to join his side, he promised me ultimate power. He said that I needed it, after that embarrassing defeat you handed me during that tournament last year!” Brendan yelled, “And now I’m going to return the favor!!! Along with the power of darkness, there is nothing or no one that can beat me now!”
    Ash stepped up, with May behind him. “Then I guess we’ll be the first! Come on out, Salamence…” Ash commanded. Once again, the blue Dragon erupted from the Poke ball, roared loudly, then, with a magnificent flap of its red wings, flew into the sky.
    “…And Blaziken!” May added. The orange Fire Pokemon charged out of the Great Ball, and threw a series of flaming kicks to intimidate Metagross. Ash & May both had their strongest Pokemon ready to fight, but they had a feeling that this would be their toughest fight yet. Even so, they were ready for anything.
    “Ha! Ha! Ha! Do you really think you can beat me?! You have no chance!!!” This time, it was Brendan’s turn to taunt.
    “We can do anything when we’re together!” Ash said, confidentially, “An’ there’s nothing you can do about it!”
    “That’s where my plan comes in...” Malek held out his hand, and a yellow energy charged in it. “This beam will instantly paralyze anything it touches, and when I hit you with my Shadow Disruption, a part of me came into you, so I could track your every movement. You can do what you want; there is no escaping my attack now!” The laser that had charged in his hand now shot in a blinding yellow flash from his dark, shadowy hand.
    Ash didn’t have much time. “May, listen closely! What I’m about to tell you will completely change your future. I… Love… yo--” He was hit before he could say anything else. He collapsed to the ground.
    May had all she could stand now. “Why did you do that?!” Tears dropped from her blue eyes. She kneeled down near Ash. “Why couldn’t you take me instead?”
    “That’s so cute. She’s defending her boyfriend. I didn’t take you because you are not a threat to me; you’re not dangerous at all. Plus, I need you for later…”
    “NOT A THREAT?! We’ll see about that! Blaziken, Sky Uppercut on Malek, now!!!!!”
    Malek was surprised by the sudden attack, and it hit him head on, too.
    “You may have hurt me with that last attack, but this isn’t over yet! I will return…………….” He disappeared into thin air, much like last time.
    May flipped her hair. “Hmm. Coward.” Suddenly, she got much more worried. “But what about Ash? Will he be okay?”
    Caroline came out of nowhere. “Well, he’s only paralyzed. I’m sure he’ll be back soon, don’t worry May.”
    “But I had to tell him something. And now I’ll have to wait even longer.”
    There was a rustle from behind them, but no one was there. May turned around and had a happy sight. “Ash! You’re okay! But you’re still weak. C’mon, let’s get to our house, you can rest there. But something’s bothering me: Where is Brendan?”
    Brock was relieved to have Ash back. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s just go home and rest….”
    Once again, at Malek’s fortress, he was ready to breathe fire. “Brendan, this is all your fault! I had him scared until you came! *sigh* Just get the heck out of my sight now, before I have an excuse to obliterate you.”
    “What?! You can’t fire me!”
    “I’ll give you 3 seconds. 3…2…1…”
    “I am not leaving, you hear me?!”
    Their arguments just kept overlapping, until Malek just kicked Brendan out the door. Brendan decided to join Ash & May’s group to get his revenge on Malek.
    And now they reached Oldale town at around 8:30 p.m., and were home at 9:00. And apparently, May hadn’t forgiven Brendan for what just.
    “Come on May! I didn’t do anything to you! I just helped Malek by distracting you!”
    “It doesn’t matter Brendan.” May explained, “Because of you, I almost lost Ash forever, and then you would’ve come after us if Malek told you to. There is no way I’m going to forgive you for this. You can go bother Ash.”
    “Will you kids stop fighting?” Caroline asked. “It’s the night before Christmas; you should be cheerful and happy.” May didn’t care what her mother said, it didn’t matter anyway. She was just looking for Ash. She looked everywhere and still didn’t find him.
    “Oh no… What if he decided to go home, and left early?” May thought, “Now I’ll never get the chance to tell him! No, I can’t think about that. He would’ve told me first.” She didn’t know what to think, only to keep looking. “Where could he be?”
    But Ash wasn’t gone. There was only one place she didn’t look, and that’s where he was. Just outside of the town. “Hey, Pikachu, do you still want to try and get my last two badges,” Ash asked, “like we were before all this started?”
    “Pika, Pi!” Pikachu replied, which meant ‘of course!’ May finally found Ash.
    “Ash? I thought you left!” She said.
    “What?! Of course not! I would’ve told you first. Besides, why would I want to leave? I still have to get my last 2 badges!” He winked at her. “You know I’d never leave until I got them all!”
    May giggled. “Yeah. What was I thinking? Umm… Ash?”
    “What?”
    “What were you going to tell me before Malek hit you?” She asked.
    Ash had a confused look on his face. “What are you talking about?”
    “Never mind. Let’s just go back to the house; it’s getting near 10:00. We should get some sleep.”
    Ash yawned. “Yeah… I’m getting tired anyway.” “But,” He thought, “When and where will Malek strike next?”

    Stay tuned for:     Spoiler:
    *gasp!*

    So, did you get the surprise? If you didn’t, you must be blind. Anyway, nice, Huh? Like I said last time, all opinions are accepted! If you don’t like it, don’t be afraid to tell me, I won’t bite! BTW, remember when I told you there was a reason I didn’t describe the servant much? There you go! (Read part when Ash, May, Brock & Max saw the servant over again if you don’t know what I’m talking about.)

    Also, what do you think of the names of the chaps so far? Are they cool?
    Last edited by Silent Shadow; 13th December 2004 at 12:39 AM.
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  5. #30
    </|-Álvaro-|\> Guest

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    hey there, I´ve been reading your fic again, it keeps getting better and better ^^! I want more!! *Desperate to read more*

  6. #31
    Megaflare Guest

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    you got that right shin this story is becoming better with each chap.

  7. #32
    Shiny May Guest

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    the fic is really improving. More description in this chap and also you keep up the suspense. Really good !! KIU

  8. #33
    Mermaid Guest

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    Wow nice chapter ^_^
    I liked it and Misty's going to Return??
    Can't wait until the next chapter!

  9. #34
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    YAHOOO! That was the best chap so far!

    Is there gonna be fights between Misty and May? Hope so...

    D_C
    All your base are belong to US.

    $$$$$$
    $$$$$$
    $$$$$$

  10. #35
    Ember Guest

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    This fic is so awesome! Keep up the great work and I hope to see longer chapters in the future.

  11. #36
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    I liked it. It's really good, although I did see a couple of things missing from your fic.

    Chapter 2:

    And May just woke up. “What? What’d I miss?”
    I didn’t see the bit where May fell unconscious or falling asleep or whatever.

    "Hmm…you look like you are worthy of being destroyed by the future Ruler of Shadows, so…” Malek charged a weird black energy in his hand, then teleported behind Ash. “I’ll give you more than just my best shot! Shadow Disruption!” A searing black laser shot from the palm of his hand… and pounded Ash right on the back of his neck.

    “ASH! NO!!!!” May cried, holding back tears, “No. You can’t be gone! I… I… I love you…” Too bad no one heard her. She wasn’t crying now. She was mad. “Malek!!!! You’ll pay for this!”
    You could’ve added the part where Ash fell unconscious.

    Chapter 4:

    Where did Malek and Brendan get those computers from? Malek could’ve communicated with Brendan telepathically.

    Now, on to the positive stuff, I find this story really interesting, as I liked the descriptions and the lengths. I was actually a bit surprised when Brendan became the villain's flunky, even though Brendan's a hero in the games. And     Spoiler:
    coming in... this will be interesting *predicts May and     Spoiler:
    having a catfight*.

    Eddie?

    Ed: *groans* ...brrrraaaaiinns...

    *Sweatdrop* I think I need a replacement.

    Check these out:

    Thanks for the card, Skiks
    Pokemon Impact (PG13):
    Series: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 (Cancelled)

    Starring Black Jack, a veteran pokemon trainer who saves the lives of others while breaking necks of his enemies in cold blood. You want action? You got action!
    (Continue or Reboot? That is the question.)

    Goldenrod High (Chaptered Comedy Multishipping fic PG13) Updated: 02/12/09
    Who says school is just for learning? ^^

    Check out my other stories, and everyone else's in the Completed Fics forum!

    Been doing some singing and voice impressions too! Check me out at the Brian Random Channel Thread!

  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by big evil
    I liked it. It's really good, although I did see a couple of things missing from your fic.

    Chapter 2:

    And May just woke up. “What? What’d I miss?”
    I didn’t see the bit where May fell unconscious or falling asleep or whatever.

    "Hmm…you look like you are worthy of being destroyed by the future Ruler of Shadows, so…” Malek charged a weird black energy in his hand, then teleported behind Ash. “I’ll give you more than just my best shot! Shadow Disruption!” A searing black laser shot from the palm of his hand… and pounded Ash right on the back of his neck.

    “ASH! NO!!!!” May cried, holding back tears, “No. You can’t be gone! I… I… I love you…” Too bad no one heard her. She wasn’t crying now. She was mad. “Malek!!!! You’ll pay for this!”
    You could’ve added the part where Ash fell unconscious.

    Chapter 4:

    Where did Malek and Brendan get those computers from? Malek could’ve communicated with Brendan telepathically.

    Now, on to the positive stuff, I find this story really interesting, as I liked the descriptions and the lengths. I was actually a bit surprised when Brendan became the villain's flunky, even though Brendan's a hero in the games. And     Spoiler:
    coming in... this will be interesting *predicts May and     Spoiler:
    having a catfight*.

    Eddie?

    Ed: *groans* ...brrrraaaaiinns...

    *Sweatdrop* I think I need a replacement.
    Hey, when it gets bad, I will make it better! And, you're predicting May and     Spoiler:
    having a catfight, huh? Only one thing I can say: "MEOW MEOW!" Ahh! Stupid cat! It bit me!!!!

    One question for you all and those of you soon to come: How did you find this fic? Did you...a) Find a post by me and click the link in my sig, or... b) Did go the fan-fic main page and find it.... or c) Did I tell you about it myself?
    Last edited by Silent Shadow; 5th January 2005 at 5:32 AM.
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  13. #38
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    B. I went to the fic page and found it, so I couldn't resist to click when I saw AAMayL

    D_C
    All your base are belong to US.

    $$$$$$
    $$$$$$
    $$$$$$

  14. #39
    RIku-CHan Guest

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    that sounds me like yu-gi-oh did you did a crossover of yu-gi-oh? O_o

  15. #40
    slysunshine Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark_Charizard
    B. I went to the fic page and found it, so I couldn't resist to click when I saw AAMayL

    D_C

    Me too! ^^

    I really like this fic. It's exciting, and I find some parts funny. I like how all this weird stuff happens and then they start talking about Christmas and gym battles! XD

  16. #41
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    One question for you all and those of you soon to come: How did you find this fic? Did you...a) Find a post by me and click the link in my sig, or... b) Did go the fan-fic main page and find it?
    I just found it on the first page of this forum.

    that sounds me like yu-gi-oh did you did a crossover of yu-gi-oh? O_o
    Hey yeah! I have a suspicion about that as well.

    Check these out:

    Thanks for the card, Skiks
    Pokemon Impact (PG13):
    Series: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 (Cancelled)

    Starring Black Jack, a veteran pokemon trainer who saves the lives of others while breaking necks of his enemies in cold blood. You want action? You got action!
    (Continue or Reboot? That is the question.)

    Goldenrod High (Chaptered Comedy Multishipping fic PG13) Updated: 02/12/09
    Who says school is just for learning? ^^

    Check out my other stories, and everyone else's in the Completed Fics forum!

    Been doing some singing and voice impressions too! Check me out at the Brian Random Channel Thread!

  17. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by slysunshine
    Me too! ^^

    I really like this fic. It's exciting, and I find some parts funny. I like how all this weird stuff happens and then they start talking about Christmas and gym battles! XD
    Same here, who could resist the call of an AAMayL story?
    Best chappie, but I want another one ASAP!
    Jetshipping (Hilbert x Skyla) is my BW OTP

    Banner by Kamex

  18. #43
    mystic_girl Guest

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    Wow, this is another great chapter.
    There could be a tad more description but it's okay. I love the idea's and the suspence. And you'r making it a little bit like christmas. You have fixed up length to about 4 pages. Spelling and grammer are fine and doesn't need worrying about. I can't wait untill the next chapter. *Taps foot impatiently.*

    Keep trying!

    ~mystic_girl

  19. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by big evil
    I just found it on the first page of this forum.
    Quote Originally Posted by Me
    One question for you all and those of you soon to come: How did you find this fic? Did you...a) Find a post by me and click the link in my sig, or... b) Did you go the fan-fic main page and find it?


    I just found it on the first page of this forum.


    Quote Originally Posted by RIku-CHan
    that sounds me like yu-gi-oh did you did a crossover of yu-gi-oh? O_o


    Hey yeah! I have a suspicion about that as well.
    A Crossover of Yu-Gi-Oh? I had no idea... But yeah, I guess it does sound kinda like Yu-Gi-Oh! Really, who could resist the call of an AAMayL Fic? Heck, I have five marked as favorites!
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  20. #45
    </|-Álvaro-|\> Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elite Arbiter
    A Crossover of Yu-Gi-Oh? I had no idea... But yeah, I guess it does sound kinda like Yu-Gi-Oh! Really, who could resist the call of an AAMayL Fic? Heck, I have five marked as favorites!
    Where is the next chap good friend ;__;? And I like the idea of you putting crossover elements on your fic ^^

  21. #46
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    Default A little So'em So'em

    For those of you who have been wondering what Malek looks like, here ya go (Drew it meself!) :

    One question though. Do ya think I should post this as a Fan Art, or what?
    [IMG135]http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2004-12/914085/12-19-200401;49;26PM.GIF[/IMG135]
    It's a little screwy, isn't it? It had to be small so I could upload it, so it's not that easy to see, sorry...
    As for the next chap, well, it's on its way, but not completely done yet... I'll PM all of you when it's done!
    Last edited by Silent Shadow; 19th December 2004 at 7:53 PM. Reason: To add title
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  22. #47
    Mermaid Guest

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    Wow thats Malek....cool ^_^ I think It's a little to small to put it in the fan-art forum
    Last edited by Mermaid; 19th December 2004 at 7:40 PM.

  23. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mermaid
    Wow thats Malek....cool ^_^ I think It's a little to small to put it in the fan-art forums
    Sadly, I know... I had to make this small to upload it from my scanner. But at least someone likes it! Notice the moon & the clouds in the background?
    Last edited by Silent Shadow; 19th December 2004 at 7:52 PM.
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  24. #49
    </|-Álvaro-|\> Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elite Arbiter
    Sadly, I know... I had to make this small to upload it from my scanner. But at least someone likes it! Notice the moon & the clouds in the background?
    WOW MALEK IS PRETTY COOL AND FEARSOME O_O!!!!

    HE IS THE DEVIL HIMSELF!! WOW PRETTY NICE

  25. #50
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    Believe me, It's a lot better when it's bigger, how it normally was! You could see his red eyes glaring right back at you. Be afraid, be very afraid!
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

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