View Poll Results: How do you like my chaps so far?

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  • Excellent! Keep writing!

    47 59.49%
  • It's okay. It's really funny!

    25 31.65%
  • Needs more length

    16 20.25%
  • ummm...... not the best I've seen

    7 8.86%
  • Eww! I hate it! Stop writing now!!

    4 5.06%
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Thread: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL fic

  1. #51
    Megaflare Guest

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    Malek looks very scary and that is a good thing hehehe.

  2. #52
    slysunshine Guest

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    Oh, so that's what he looks like. Scary! lol

  3. #53
    Ember Guest

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    Ooh, he's scary. It's awesome!

  4. #54
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    I hope you all mean scary in a good way! j/k I know you wouldn't insult me on purpose......................... Would you?
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  5. #55
    RazzPersian Guest

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    This is a really great fic =D you started off with really short chapters, but #4 was really great. I wasn't expecting the surprise at all, I thought it was like, Gary or something ^^'
    Good job <3

  6. #56
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    All right guys, I'm back in Florida, from New York. Didn't I tell you that I left? Guess not.... Anyway, The Next chap should be done some time this week. I couldn't work on it before, cause the fic was saved on my mom's computer (it's the fastest ^_^) and I couldn't get it to New York. So keep checking in every day, got it?
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  7. #57
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    Default 5th Chap.... EVERYONE READ NOW!!

    Guess what.....?

    (Note: If you want, you can call me Michael instead of Elite Arbiter. I mean, hey, we’re all friends here, right? And that is my real name, just so you know.)

    I bet you remember the last chap, when they saw that Brendan was helping Malek. Who could forget? Anyway, here are some of the last few words from the 4th chap *ahem*: “Let’s just go back to the house; it’s getting near 10:00. We should get some sleep.” -said by Ash. And here’s the 5th chap:

    Welcome back to the Den of Darkness… It’s me, EA, here with another chap. *laughing maniacally*
    Michael, I told you not to laugh maniacally. You’ll hurt your throat!
    Aw, mom! You ruined my moment! *clears throat* Sorry for the unwanted interruption… XD

    Chapter 5: Misty’s Return
    Hmm… What could that mean? XD

    Note 2: This will be a bit shorter than the rest, but I’ll make up for it in the next Chap.

    As Ash and May headed back to the house, they had no idea of the visitor they were going to get tomorrow. They could only think about when and where Malek would show up next. Ash yawned.

    “Ahh… Man I’m tired. I really need to get some sleep.” He yawned. again. “What about you, May?”

    “Nah. I think that I’ll help my mom with the dinner.”

    “Okay. Well then… ‘Night May. See ya tomorrow.”

    “Goodnight Ash.” Secretly, May blew him a kiss as she shut the door.
    _______________________________

    The next morning, when Ash woke up and went into the kitchen, he saw everyone waiting for him.

    “What are you all looking at me for? I didn’t do anything… Did I?” He asked with a confused look on his face.

    “We’re waiting to slap you across the face for waking up so late!” May and Max answered.

    “But it’s only… Hey! You don’t have to be sarcastic, ya know!” Ash exclaimed as he looked at the clock on the wall. “It’s only 7:30!”

    “I know that.” Caroline said, “But you should want to wake up earlier for your presents!” She pointed to the tall evergreen tree in the living room that had millions of presents under it. Some big, some small, some round, some straight, some colorful and some dark. Ash gasped.

    “That’s a lot of presents!” he said, staring. “Are any of ‘em for me?”

    Norman, as if waking up from being hypnotized, answered out of nowhere. “Well, we knew you might’ve ended up here, so we got you a few gifts. But it wasn’t just us; I think May got a couple for you.” Just then, the doorbell rang. “Huh? I wonder who that could be, especially on Christmas morning. Ash, could you get that?”

    “Sure.” He opened the door, and got a big surprise. “Misty?! What are you doing here?”

    “Didn’t Caroline tell you? I’m celebrating Christmas with you! I can’t believe you didn’t remember. My sisters are still on the vacation and no one else is there. So I came all the way here.” Misty explained. When May saw Misty, she got a little angry.

    “What’s she doing here?” May asked. “I mean, Merry Christmas, Misty!” She added when Caroline shot her a dirty look. ‘Ho. Ho. Ho.’ she thought, sarcastically.

    Max was getting impatient. “Presents, now!!! I want presents, now!”

    “Hmm… good idea, Max.” Ash commented, “Maybe it’ll break this fight up…”
    So, as it was said, every one started opening presents one by one. Ash picked up a round one that said: “To: Ash, From: May. NOTE: Open outside!” So when he read it, Ash and May went outside and opened it.

    “A poke ball? Why did you say to open it outside then?” Ash questioned.

    “Look inside…” May answered. “You’ll get a very big surprise!” Ash threw it out, making his jaw drop wide open as he saw a blue figure dash by, like a Scyther running through the tall grass, and heard a roaring sound echoing through the town, making snow fall off the rooftops, even startling some of the residents.

    “A… A… Suicune? HOW DID YOU GET A SUICUNE?!” He yelled, “AND WHERE DID YOU GET A SUICUNE?! He calmed down, “But I like it, thanks.”

    “I knew you’d like it, you can’t resist catching wild Pokemon, so I thought getting a legendary would be much more valuable to you.” May explained.

    “Yeah, and it’ll help us against Malek too!” Ash added.

    May had an angry look on her face just now. “Is that all you care about? Defeating Malek is more important?” She suddenly started to cry. “I got you this incredible present; a majestic Suicune, and all you’re going to use it for is a pointless battle that no one will win? I hate to see beautiful things—she patted Suicune on the head and it growled affectionately-- used in war! You’ll destroy the world trying! Don’t you get it?! I can’t stand to see you get hurt anymore!”

    “May, calm down…. Don’t cry, okay? That’s not all I care about. The truth is…. I care about you much more than anything else May. And I really mean it…” Ash said.

    “You mean................” May started,

    “Yes… I love you May, and nothing can ever change that….” Ash finished. Little did they know, Max was videotaping the entire thing.

    “Oh this is good….” He thought to himself, “I can’t wait to show this to Mom!”
    May felt she had to say something too. She took a deep breath, and said “Ash, I… What I’m trying to say is… Well… I mean… I love you too, Ash. I didn’t think you’d feel the same. But now I know…” She said. Apparently, she was a bit nervous. “Thank you.”




    I wish I was as lucky as Ash. I’ll never have a girlfriend… Ignore that last sentence! Ash got a Suicune. Surprised? Probably not… But if you think this chap was cool, check out the next one: A Common Foe! Any advice? Give to the needy! XD All opinions accepted, and btw, what do you think of the chap names so far; like on a scale of 1-10 on how they go with the chapters?
    Off topic: Who got the new Ace Combat game? I have it and I love it!
    Last edited by Silent Shadow; 28th April 2005 at 3:13 PM.
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  8. #58
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    Haha! First to review after the new chapter is up!

    When May saw Misty, she got a little angry.

    “What’s she doing here?” May asked. “I mean, Merry Christmas, Misty!” She added when Caroline shot her a dirty look. ‘Ho. Ho. Ho.’ she thought, sarcastically.
    Oh ho ho! May got a little jealous there!

    A Suicune! How did May catch a Suicune!!? Never mind, its a fanfic...

    Funny bits here and there, so I liked it.

    Check these out:

    Thanks for the card, Skiks
    Pokemon Impact (PG13):
    Series: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 (Cancelled)

    Starring Black Jack, a veteran pokemon trainer who saves the lives of others while breaking necks of his enemies in cold blood. You want action? You got action!
    (Continue or Reboot? That is the question.)

    Goldenrod High (Chaptered Comedy Multishipping fic PG13) Updated: 02/12/09
    Who says school is just for learning? ^^

    Check out my other stories, and everyone else's in the Completed Fics forum!

    Been doing some singing and voice impressions too! Check me out at the Brian Random Channel Thread!

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by big evil

    A Suicune! How did May catch a Suicune!!? Never mind, its a fanfic...
    That's exactly what Ash thought! XD But you are the first to review! YAY!!!
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  10. #60
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    Wow, best chapter so far! Max videotaping Ash and May was priceless. I also like that May gave Ash a Suicune.(Lugia would've been lots cooler, but I like Suicune.) I give this fic a 4/5.
    Last edited by Shiny Linoone; 11th February 2005 at 7:24 PM.
    *sig under construction*

  11. #61
    Megaflare Guest

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    good chap my friend it was a bit short but great!

    so Ash present was a Suicune huh? I never saw that coming and is really good.

  12. #62
    </|-Álvaro-|\> Guest

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    Woa Michael ^^!!! pretty good chap!!! I was longing to see more parts of your fic ^^

  13. #63
    Shiny May Guest

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    it's a nice chap. Description is good but length could be better, also a bit more description of thoughts would be nice. I love to know thoughts of characters (especially love thoughts! ), it makes it really more interesting and you can really feel with a character

    Suicune, a bit weird gift since especially it's a very hard to catch legendary and it's very swift. DIdn't expect it though

  14. #64
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    Thanks a lot!!! I'm glad you all liked it!
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  15. #65
    RazzPersian Guest

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    Yeah, the suicune was a bit of a shock, but otherwise it was great ^^ You could make things with a bit more continuity though, like when Max tapes them you could add in somewhere tht he got a Video Camera for christmas or something... you know? =3 I'm gonna start a fic soon... look out for it ;D

  16. #66
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    I will RazzPersian!
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  17. #67
    Ember Guest

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    That was great! Max videotapeing them was funny. Keep up the good work.

  18. #68
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    Great chappie, the only things a got a little problem with is that it was short and that May caught a Suicune.True, this is a fanfic, but still, it just seems hard to believe. Maybe if you had May have a flashback to when she caught it.
    Jetshipping (Hilbert x Skyla) is my BW OTP

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  19. #69
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    Hmm.... you don't seem too happy about Suicune, everyone.... Which reminds me: About my poll, be honest. If you don't like it, tell me so I can make it better!
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  20. #70
    Megaflare Guest

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    I don't have problem with it since this is a fic but come to think of it if Ash need Suicune that means that Malik could be really powerful so Ash and May would have a hard time trying to beat him and that could be good since this is a AAMayL fic.

  21. #71
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    Hey guys! Sorry for the delay, but my friend--Falco Rose on another website-- said he wants to help me with this fic, and he also said he wants to do the next chap. I'll quote what parts he helped me with at the end of the post, but is that even allowed? To have someone write a chap for you? Anyway, it'll take a while if he does type the next chap.... I'll try to beat him to it though so you can read my work! ^_~
    Note: can someone get a mod to read this post? I want to know if that's allowed.
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  22. #72
    AshLord Guest

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    I should have reviewed when I saw this. It's good. Length should be longer. And Brendan and Misty coming into the picture? That might ruin Ash and May's time. Malek? He really is evil. And Max is the evil one in that chap. He actually tried to record Ash and May admitting it! Hopefully he won't spread it around everywhere. It's good overall... but... May caught a Suicune?!!!! She either bought it or caught it! That was unexpected. But since it's Advanceshipping I'll give you................. 4 stars!

  23. #73
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    Sorry guys, but school is really getting in my way for this chap, but I'll get it done soon. Also, I need more reviews!!!
    Here's my finally revived Fan-fic: Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL Fic. Currently on chapter 14. Dive into the story of Ash, May, and the rest of the gang as they stop an ancient evil from taking over Hoenn, and eventually, the rest of the world!


    --Sig under construction considering I have a LOT of catching up to do...--

  24. #74
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    this is a pity...but if you can't write / type it, couldn't you get your friend to type it? ^_^; you did say that, you know...

    EDIT: by the way, this is a great fic...how did May get a Suicune?


    離開是為了回來 & lj & icons
    Sumner Sturgeon love the siblings Kana

  25. #75
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    Hoennshippers are probably going to kill you for this
    It's a great fic. The first 3 were too short, but the last 2 were excellent. I hope the next chap comes out soon and Misty will catfight with May =P I'll keep track of this fic from now on. 5 stars for you ^^

    (By the way, is it a coincidence that Malek sounds like Marik, the Yu-Gi-Oh morphing-into-demon guy? )


    Paired up with Avegaille

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