Well, I think it's time I give up and say goodbye to this project. I've finally accepted that this has been a waste of my time. Over the (nearly) three long years that I've been working on this story, I have only received minimal feedback- the last of which was 16 months ago. From this, I can only conclude that this story is a complete failure.
I started this originally to explain the back-story of a character I made up long ago, however, a few chapters in, I began to take the story more seriously and planned much more for it. I enjoyed writing it as much as I enjoyed planning it. While the beginning was rocky and horribly unplanned, I started to outline and plan in advance and created a deeper story than I ever intended. The incomplete outline I have covers about 60 chapters and if I had to estimate the total number of chapters this thing could have ended with- possibly close to 90.
Now, I look at this and cringe. Every time I pick up my pencil and grab my journal to continue drafting the next chapter a part of me begins to ask why I'm doing this. I know I will never be a published writer, not that I ever meant to, but I see the total views on my thread go from just below 7000 to 7400 after the posting of the last chapter. My mind thinks: How many of those views are lurkers... or is my story really that bad that not a single one of those 400 people like it? I don't want to sound like I'm whining or complaining. It's okay if everyone hates this. I just wish that some one would tell me why. I see stories here in the non-Pokemon fiction area with less than three paragraphs per chapter or whatever and they get more reviews or feedback. I remember way back when I was working on a Pokemon fic (long abandoned), I got bashed like crazy for having chapters that didn't reach 2+ pages on Microsoft word. Now it seems like no one cares anymore. It's just discouraging. Even negative feedback, as long as it was constructive, would have made my day.
In the last few months I've have a large amount of difficulty drafting or outlining any further. Whenever I try to get anything done, I find it increasingly challenging to get involved with my writing. Each sitting has produced very little writing- a few paragraphs if I'm lucky. The outlining has been at a standstill for many many months. I have no purpose or drive to continue writing. I've been beating at this dead log for far too long now even as it began to rot and crumble away as time passed by. Now, after over 350 pages of draft, 200 pages of typing, and many thoughts and plans, I believe it is time to put away my journals, set down these pencils, and put this story to rest at last.