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Thread: Remix: Dedication Through Light and Darkness PG-13

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    Default Remix: Dedication Through Light and Darkness PG-13

    Shadow Lucario here with another fan fiction for your viewing pleasure. You may be looking at the title and saying to yourself, "Why does that sound familiar?" That's because it is the title of my first fan fiction that is in the completed fic section. The reason the titles are nearly exactly the same is because this fic is a rewrite that is loosely based on the original. If you read the original Dedication Through Light and Darkness then you'll know what I mean. You do not need to read the original to enjoy this fan fiction though you won't understand the subtle references I make with some characters. I repeat; you DO NOT need to read the original to enjoy this fan fiction. With that said let's get on with it. This fan fiction is rated PG-13 for sexual references and content as well as death.

    DISCLAIMER: I do not own any Pokémon that appear in this fan fiction. Their use is for entertainment purposes only. I DO own all settings and characters in this fan fiction as they are of my own creation. No copyright infringement is intended.


    Chapter list
    Bold means posted
    Italics means it's being worked on

    First Month Arc
    Chapter 1: Remix! 7 July 2010
    Chapter 2: Challenges! 1 August 2010
    Chapter 3: Training! 22 August 2010

    Remix: Dedication Through Light and Darkness

    Chapter 1: Remix!

    “With the presence of evil organizations such as Team Lustrous and the Black Organization obvious throughout the world it is now required for hopeful Pokémon trainers to go through school until they are of legal age. Once they reach the age of fourteen they will be transferred from their local schools to one of the prestigious Pokémon Academies located around the world. It is here tha-”

    With a click the screen of a television went blank. The absence of the light from the screen made the room almost pitch black. Setting the television remote on the table a few feet in ahead a figure moved from a small sofa and began to head towards the stairs located at the right of the room. Like they had done it a million times, the figure jumped up the stairs, coming to a stop in a medium sized room.

    Lights from the ceiling illuminated the room, revealing the figure to be a boy in his early teens. Walking over to a dresser that sat against the wall opposite him, he stared into a mirror that sat atop the dresser. Quickly ruffling his messy black hair, the boy bent next to the dresser. Once he stood erect once more he held a suitcase in his left hand while he slung a backpack over his right shoulder.

    Turning back to the stairs the boy grabbed an envelope off his bed and began down the stairs, flipping the light switch on his way down. Landing on the ground floor the boy scanned the room. His eyes rested on a picture frame that rested on a counter towards the kitchen. In the frame was a picture of what appeared to be the boy when he was around five or six years of age. Standing behind the boy was a man whose hair was messy just like the boy’s, but brown in color. Next to the man was a woman, presumably his wife. She had an uncanny resemblance to the boy. They had the same popping green eyes and black hair.

    “Might as well,” the boy whispered to himself.

    Walking over to the counter the boy opened the frame and removed the picture. Folding it many times, he stashed it in his grey blazers inside pocket. Walking to the door, the boy gave one last look around the room before exiting the house. The air was cold, the sky a dark blue. Lights illuminated the windows of the house across the street, music blaring through the cracks of the door. Looking both ways before crossing, the boy walked across the street, standing on the sidewalk outside the noisy house.

    After a few minutes the door opened slightly, music and light pouring out. A girl stepped out with a wave back into the house. She appeared to be in the same age group as the boy, if not a few months older. Swinging her head as she turned, her dirty blonde hair whipped around, landing perfectly on her shoulder. Instead of carrying her suitcase like the boy she simply pulled it, wheels on the bottom making it much easier.

    “So you’re actually here,” the girl said to the boy once she reached him.

    “You know me Jasmine,” said the boy. “I won’t let you beat me. I’m sure whatever Pokémon I get it will be able to beat yours!”

    “Oh Jyharri you silly boy,” Jasmine said in a voice one would use with a child. “Just because I’m older than you doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to prove something to me.”

    Jyharri scoffed, turning his head away from her quickly. “Three days really isn’t older.”

    “Let’s just get going,” said Jasmine with a chuckle.

    Interlocking her arm with Jyharri’s, Jasmine began to lead Jyharri down the street. Every few minutes a breeze would blow through the town. The stars in the sky had begun to look faint as the sun had just started to set. Still behind the horizon, the light glow of the sun could be seen. Because it was the beginning of the evening, many people were out and about on the town, most people driving home from their jobs.

    Going through the town’s twisting and turning streets, the pair came upon a large building. A large fence lined both sides of the building, barbed wire sitting at the top. In the middle of the wooden building stood a large man and behind him was an even larger opening.

    “Oh man, look at his sailor suit,” Jasmine whispered to Jyharri. “Can you say tacky?”

    “Passes,” the man growled.

    When both of them held up an envelope with a large stamp consisting of four colors in the middle, the man stepped aside. Once inside the building the two walked a few more feet to exit onto a dock. Just ahead of them were a few people. Once they approached the group Jyharri noticed some of them were looking out across the ocean, trying to find something.

    “What are you guys looking for?” Jasmine asked as soon as Jyharri opened his mouth.

    “The boat,” a boy of about fourteen said. “The letter said the boat could arrive anytime from 6:30 to 7:45 PM. It’s about 7:30 right now which means it should be here soon.”

    After the revelation of the time the boat would arrive both Jyharri and Jasmine began to look out towards the horizon for any sign of a large ship. Looking at another girl’s watch Jasmine saw the time was now 7:44. Straightening her white vest and skirt she leaned against Jyharri, almost falling over.

    “It’s 7:45 and the ship still isn’t here,” said the fourteen-year-old. “They lied to-”

    “There it is,” yelled a younger boy, pointing out towards the horizon.

    Just over the horizon a ship was visible. Despite being large, the ship was moving quickly towards the dock. Small waves were splashing off the sides of the ship, different fish Pokémon leaping out of the waves. Once the ship was a few hundred feet from the dock its speed began to decrease. Stopping completely in the docks, a long, wide plank extended from a small opening on the side of the boat, hitting the docks with a thud. A man stood at the end of the plank looking down on the small group.

    “You’re our last group,” the man said with a wiggle of his light brown moustache. He slightly pulled down his hat, as he smiled. “Let’s get on to your home away from home!”

    The small group of students cheered as the formed a line and began to file onto the deck. A weird feeling began to boil inside Jyharri’s stomach as they reached the deck. His jaw dropped in amazement as he looked around the ship.

    The deck seemed extremely big for a ship; many students were sitting either next to a pool that was located in the middle of the deck, walking around the pool, or in the pool itself. There was a great deal of others who were either walking and talking or leaning against the rail and talking. When the group of new arrivals dispersed Jyharri had remained rooted in his spot, still amazed by the ship.

    The plank behind him snapped back into the boat, making a loud cracking noise at which Jyharri jumped. Once the plank was secured the boat began to slowly exit the docks heading out into the open sea. The man that had greeted the group began to walk towards the pool, stopping once he was a few feet from it.

    “Now, listen up future first years,” the man bellowed. All talking had soon ceased all eyes on the man in the sailor suit. “It is now time for what most of you have probably been anticipating your entire lives. It’s time to meet your first Pokémon.”

    When the words, “firs Pokémon” left the man’s mouth the new students began to buzz excitedly. Jasmine, who had wandered over to the pool, had begun to jump in excitement. Jyharri’s heart began to race and his breath became heavy. After so long he was finally going to have a Pokémon he could call his own.

    The man looked around at the new students with a smile on his face. After the excitement had toned down a bit and the students were now facing the man again he simply lifted his arms. From the lower decks many bird Pokémon flew, small packages attached to their claws. After flying around for a few minutes, many of the bird Pokémon hovered over certain students waiting to take the package.

    “How do they know who to give these to?” a boy asked as he took a package from a Staraptor.

    “After the starter Pokémon are selected for each student we take the picture from your application and have a bird Pokémon memorize it,” the man explained. “Now I must ask that you don’t release your Pokémon just yet. The weight may cause the ship to sink.”

    After seeing many people receive their packages, a Staraptor hovered next to Jyharri, squawking at him to make sure his presence was known. After saying a quick thank you to the bird, Jyharri quickly untied the small box from around Staraptor’s claw. Once the package was free the Staraptor quickly flew back below deck.

    “You may open the boxes and take out the Pokéballs, but be sure to throw the boxes in the blue bins so they may be recycled,” the man announced.

    Hastily opening the box, Jyharri looked inside. A small ball lay motionless in the box. The top was a popping red color while the bottom was white. A large black stripe encircled the ball, ending in a big white button in the middle. Taking the ball out of the box, Jyharri handled it as if it were a diamond.

    “Well buddy, looks like we’re going to be teammates,” Jyharri said to the ball as he held it up towards the setting sun.

    “Jyharri,” called Jasmine as she dashed across the deck. Quickly throwing her box in a blue bin on the way, she skidded to a halt in front of Jyharri.

    “What?” he asked holding up both the box and Pokéball in front of his chest.

    Snatching the box out of his hands, Jasmine easily shot the box into a bin without taking a glance at the bin. “I have a feeling my Pokémon is cute! If it’s cute then that means it will be better than a lot of other people’s Pokémon! Got any idea what yours may be?”

    Jyharri put his hand to his chin as he began to think. “Well I hope it’s something along the lines of a Charizard or something in that line. Those things are cool!”

    “Everyone, I know you’re excited and want to meet your Pokémon but please wait until you are placed into dorms,” the man explained once more.

    Even though the man was talking the students were too busy trying to guess what was in their Pokéballs to listen. Of course there were a few exceptions as a large number of students were actually listening. Reaching into his pocket, the man pulled out what appeared to be an air horn one would have at a sporting event.

    A few of the students chuckled at him knowing that the little air horn would not be loud enough to get everyone’s attention. After making a waving motion with his hand another sailor appeared out of nowhere, handing him a megaphone.

    “Oh no,” said Jasmine. “Cover your ears.”

    “Why?” asked Jyharri, still examining his Pokéball.

    Before she had a chance to answer the man flipped the megaphone on. Placing the air horn next to it, he pressed hard on the horn. A loud screech emitted from the horn. Everyone who was unaware of what had happened clamped their hands to their ears.

    “Now that I have your attention, I would like to inform you that you can now report to the lower deck in the rear of the boat for a banquet. If you have yet to place your belongings in your room then I suggest you do that first. Remember; no Pokémon until you have been placed in a dorm or are instructed to release them.”

    Many of the students began to grumble as they all either moved towards the back of the ship or headed down to the cabins. Grabbing his suitcase and bag, Jyharri began to follow the few people who were headed to the cabins.

    “Meet me at the stairs in ten minutes,” Jasmine told Jyharri as she passed him.

    Once he got down the stairs and into the cabin area a woman greeted him, handing him a card. Looking over the card he saw the number fourteen on the back.

    “That is your key for your room,” the woman explained. “You are room number fourteen. Your room will be right around the first corner.”

    Taking a look at the walls and floor, Jyharri noticed that the colors were exactly the same as the outside of the boat; white and grey. The walls were a good ten feet apart, the perfect distance for anyone that happened to be claustrophobic.

    Taking a turn at the first corner like the woman instructed, the first door Jyharri came across had a big fourteen plastered on the front. The handle had a slot above it, obviously for the key. When he slid the key into the slot a soft click was heard and the door opened slightly inward.

    Taking a step into the room Jyharri saw it wasn’t very spacious. The only contents of the room were a bed on his right side with a grey and white bedspread (go figure) and a wooden chair to his left. From the bed to the opposite wall was about seven feet showing that this room was meant for one.

    Placing his bag and suitcase right next to his bed and pocketing his key, Jyharri quickly clipped his Pokéball to his belt before heading back to the door. Closing the door behind him, Jyharri began to walk back towards the stairs. Once he was back on the deck he noticed that most of the people had left the deck and had either gone to their rooms or at the banquet.

    “There you are,” Jasmine exclaimed as Jyharri reached the end of the ship.

    Pushing off the railing, Jasmine lead Jyharri down a flight of stairs into a well lit room. Instead of being the usual boring grey and white the walls were a combination of four colors; blue, green, yellow, and red. One would think this would be a horrible color combination for walls, but they managed to make it look excellent.

    Vastly different than the cabins, this room was very spacious, two large tables lined up by each other, extending almost thirty feet. Students were seated on both sides, some of them eating, but most of them talking. Grabbing his hand, Jasmine lead Jyharri even further into the room. After walking about ten feet she stopped, two girls turning and smiling. A boy was also seated next to them but he remained with his back to them.

    “Jyharri I want you to meet Chloe, Ericka, and, even though he’s not facing us, Dave,” Jasmine said as she pointed to each one.

    “Hello,” Erick and Chloe said in unison while Dave remained silent.

    “I met these guys when I was waiting for you,” said Jasmine, taking a seat next to Ericka.

    “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Jyharri,” Jyharri introduced himself with a bow before taking a seat next to Jasmine.

    “So, Jyharri what color do you hope to trade your grey blazer in for?” Chloe asked with a giggle. “I’m hoping to get into Lightning Yellow.”

    “But you look so good in blue,” interjected Ericka, obviously talking about the blue blouse and jeans she was wearing. Ericka then looked at her own black tank top and white jeans with a saddened look. “I really want to get into Fire Red. Red looks much better on me than black.”

    “I don’t really mind what dorm they put me in,” Jyharri told Chloe. “I just want to learn everything I can about Pokémon so I can hopefully become a great trainer.”

    A clinking noise made its way throughout the room, reverberating off the walls which made it seem louder than it actually is. A woman stood at the head of the table next to the one Jyharri, Jasmine, and their new friends sat at. Sporting a black blazer and skirt, she looked very regal, almost as if she were at a formal dinner.

    “Welcome new students,” she said. Her voice was very soft, almost sultry. “First I would like to congratulate you all on being accepted into this Academy. Usually we would wait until we arrived to the Academy to welcome you there and give you your starter Pokémon, but we decided to do things a little differently this year.

    “Now that I have explained that I would like to introduce myself. I am Headmistress Davis and I run the Academy. If you ever have any questions or troubles just find me and I will try to help you to the best of my abilities. Now enjoy your dinner. We will be arriving at the Academy tomorrow morning.”

    -----------------------------------------------

    “Man that was some good stuff,” exclaimed Jyharri as their small group began to walk across the deck.

    The sky had now changed to a dark blue, many stars dotting the sky. The moon was high in the sky taking the shape of a crescent. The air had become cold, a slight breeze blowing over the ship. Walking over to the railing, Jyharri, Jasmine, and Ericka looked out into the ocean, the sky reflecting off the surface. Dave and Chloe continued walking around the deck, Dave still not saying anything to Jyharri.

    “The ocean sure is beautiful,” whispered Ericka.

    “Sure is,” Jyharri agreed.

    Glancing at Jyharri, Ericka saw that he was staring at the moon, not moving in the slightest or blinking. A smile was on his face, but it wasn’t the usual happy smile. It was more of a smirk. Even though she knew it wasn’t polite to stare, Ericka couldn’t take her eyes off him. There was something weird about the way he stared at the moon without moving or blinking. A loud blaring sounded, snapping Jyharri out of his trance.

    “Students need to report to their cabins,” the voice of Headmistress Davis said over an intercom.

    Giving one last look at the moon, Jyharri followed Jasmine and Ericka back to the stairs leading to the cabins. Carefully maneuvering through the crowds, Jyharri said his goodbyes to Ericka and Jasmine before reaching his door. Opening it slightly, he slid into his room, falling onto his bed.

    Rolling onto his back, Jyharri put his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. Sleeping seemed like the only thing he could do, but he knew he wouldn’t get much of it.

    -----------------------------------------------

    Darkness had covered Jyharri’s eyes. Various noises had reached his ears, but sounded as if they were being played in slow motion. Slowly light began to filter into the darkness. Suddenly the entire room came into view. The sound of people’s voices could be heard from outside. Slowly sitting up, Jyharri ruffled his messy black hair before standing.

    Picking up his suitcase and bag from the floor, Jyharri exited his room to be pushed towards the stairs with the crowd. Once up on the deck Jyharri saw that the boat had been stopped. Instead of seeing the open sea a large island now occupied the view from the side of the boat.

    The island had been covered in mostly forest. Near the front of the island appeared to be what looked like a city. In the far west there was a large red topped building. In nearly the exact same spot to the east was another building. This building was slightly larger and had a yellow roof. Closest to the center, but still a great distance away was a building that appeared to be shaped like a greenhouse. Unlike the other two, the roof of this building was green much like the forest.

    Nearly all of the students marveled at the sight. The center of the island was the most impressive with its large buildings and colorful roofs. Much like the roofs of the buildings that were scattered across the island, the buildings roofs all had a separate color. Another color was present at the center, but seemingly absent on a building. One of the larger buildings at the center had a blue top.

    Just like it when they arrived to pick up the students, a sailor extended a plank from the ship, landing on the docks. When the students began to file off the ship they were instructed to leave their suitcases on the ship as they were going to be taken care of. Just like when he got his Pokéball, Jyharri’s heart began to race as he walked down the plank and onto the docks.

    Following the crowd, Jyharri was led up a path through a small forest until they reached the city like area. The buildings seemed like skyscrapers up close, many different people were standing in a park area, all of them in purple blazers. Still walking up a path, the group was led through an archway made of grass into the large park area. Benches encircled a large fountain, water spewing up and back into the fountain in the middle.

    When they reached the line of people the men bowed while the women did a little curtsy, holding out their matching purple skirts. Walking ahead of the group, Headmistress Davis stood in front of the people with her arms extended.

    “Welcome to the Pokémon Academy of the east,” Headmistress Davis said. “This will be the place you call home for the next year. Soon you will be divided into your dorms, but first I must ask you to do something I know you’ve wanted to do for a while.”

    Without her even finishing her sentence the students began to scatter around the park. Pokéballs flew into the air, cracking open when they reached their peak height. From each ball shot a bright white light. The lights hit the ground, each beginning to morph into a different shape and size.

    Various cries were heard when the light had subsided. Many different creatures looked at their new trainers, a smile on their face. Clutching onto his Pokéball, Jyharri walked a little farther away from the group. Tossing it into the air the same white light shot out of the ball. Heart about to burst out of his chest Jyharri watched as the white light began to form into a really small creature. Once the light stopped shaping itself the Pokémon was no taller than Jyharri’s shin.

    “That’s definitely not a Charmander,” Jyharri said slightly disappointed.

    The light soon completely vanished revealing a Pokémon that appeared to be egg shaped. Instead of having a complete egg body, its face was a shade of yellow while its head consisted of five spikes. The casing around its body appeared to be a white shell that had red and blue rings on it. Its body was completed by small brown eyes, two stubby arms and feet.

    Crouching down to get a better look, Jyharri examined the Pokémon. The creature just stared at Jyharri, a questioning look on its face. Jyharri returned the look, turning his head sideways and back to upright. His Pokémon did the same, almost as if it was mimicking him. Not sure of what it was Jyharri began to poke the shell.

    “You don’t seem too tough. How am I going to battle with you? Well I’m Jyharri,” he introduced himself. “I’m your new trainer. I can’t really complain about you being my Pokémon. I mean there are some people who don’t have a Pokémon.”

    “Togepiii!” shrilled the Pokémon with a smile as if it were introducing itself as well.

    “Well I’ve never heard of Togepi before, but assuming you’re a girl I’ll call you Spirit. You seem very happy.”

    The Togepi, now called Spirit, jumped into Jyharri’s arms, obviously enjoying her nickname. Placing the Pokéball back onto his belt, Jyharri carried Togepi back to the group. Jasmine’s happy cries could be heard over the noise of the crowd. As soon as she spotted Jyharri she ran over to him, a black and blue creature in her arms.

    “Look at my Pokémon!” she exclaimed holding it up in front of Jyharri.

    The Pokémon slightly resembled a dog with a majorly blue body. Part of its torso was black like the “mask” on its face and his ears. His legs were also black while the remainder was blue. Its long blue tail began to swing back and forth as Jasmine pulled it in for a hug.

    “Isn’t he adorable?” she asked in a voice that would be used for babies. “He’s a Riolu. I’ve decided to call him Anubis.”

    “Why di-” started Jyharri.

    “Don’t question my naming! What Pokémon did you get?”

    Holding up Spirit, both Jyharri and the Togepi smiled. “She’s a Togepi. Her name is Spirit.”

    After watching the students introduce their friends to their Pokémon, Headmistress Davis clapped her hands. Instantly the noise stopped. With a smile, Headmistress Davis turned and motioned for the students to follow.

    “Now,” Davis started, “time to start this school year.”
    Last edited by Shadow Lucario; 14th September 2010 at 4:04 AM.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  2. #2
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    Well this is a pleasant surprise. I always wanted to read the "regular" version of this ever since you started reading TSS way back when, though you were so far into it I got scared and left :x

    But I will gladly read this, and hopefully it'll make me want to go read the first version of it that you have completed. I've always wanted to be able to read a sequel to a Fic... I think the only series I've read a sequel in was duncan's Blazing Dreams, though since he disappeared I kind of had to stop >< Anyway, I'll read this and comment. I'm not going to get every single grammar mistake, just the really noticeable ones that bother me ;P

    ~*~*~

    I'm trying a new way to point out grammar mistakes by just going right ahead and editing the quote. If I strike something out, it doesn't need to be there; if something should be in it's place I'll have that in bold after the thing that's striked. Regular grammar things will be in bold too ;P

    And you certainly don't have to listen to every single change I make since some of them are more of my personal preference. ^^

    “With the presence of evil organizations such as Team Lustrous and the Black Organization obvious throughout the world it is now required for hopeful Pokémon trainers to go through school until they are of legal age. Once they reach the age of fourteen they will be transferred from their local schools to one of the prestigious Pokémon Academies located around the world. It is here tha-”
    No mistakes, I just thought I should say that I like this introduction to the Fic a lot. A whole lot. It's a cool way to let everyone know the immediate setting where the Fic is going to take place.

    Setting the television remote on the table a few feet in ahead a figure moved from a small sofa and began to head towards the stairs located at the right of the room.
    Once He stood erect once more he held a suitcase in his left hand while he slung a backpack over his right shoulder.
    Walking over to the counter the boy opened the frame and removed the picture. Folding it many times, he stashed it in his grey blazer's inside pocket.
    Interlocking her arm with Jyharri’s, Jasmine began to lead Jyharri him down the street.
    Going through the town’s twisting and turning streets, the pair came upon a large building. A large fence lined both sides of the building, barbed wire sitting at the top. In the middle of the wooden building stood a large man and behind him was an even larger opening.
    Not sure if it was intentional or not, but basically everything describe here was said to be 'large' ><

    “You’re our last group,” the man said with a wiggle of his light brown moustache.
    I'm not sure if it's a spelling change for different regions like "color" and "colour" or not, but my computer says it's spelled "mustache."

    The small group of students cheered as the they formed a line and began to file onto the deck.
    When the words, “firs Pokémon” left the man’s mouth the new students began to buzz excitedly. Jasmine, who had wandered over to the pool, had begun to jump in excitement. Jyharri’s heart began to race and his breath became heavy.
    You forgot the 't.' I also wanted to say that Jyharri's reaction seemed more like... a panic attack >< I know you were trying to show that he was excited, but I pictured him hyper-ventilating or something xD

    “Hello,” Ericka and Chloe said in unison while Dave remained silent.
    Much like the roofs of the buildings that were scattered across the island, the buildings' roofs all had a separate color.
    Just like it when they arrived to pick up the students, a sailor extended a plank from the ship, landing on the docks.
    ~*~*~

    Well that was pleasant (: I'm really glad I chose to read this. I know I'm not one of your past readers that read the first version of this, but didn't Jyharri actually get a Charmander before? I could be wrong, but I think I remember seeing a Charmeleon in one of the banners for the other version ;)


    BA~

  3. #3
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    Hey, I actually got around to reviewing. I’ll just rocket into this thing with a cool grammar check.

    Folding it many times, he stashed it in his grey blazer's inside pocket.
    “You know me, Jasmine,” said the boy. “I won’t let you beat me. I’m sure whatever Pokémon I get it will be able to beat yours!”
    A comma should be used when directly addressing someone. There were a few other examples so look out for that. Also, you should either remove the “it” from the second quote or place a comma after “get.”

    Going through the town’s twisting and turning streets, the pair came upon a large building. A large fence lined both sides of the building, barbed wire sitting at the top. In the middle of the wooden building stood a large man and behind him was an even larger opening.
    “Large” was used three times in this paragraph, once more if you count “larger”, and while not technically wrong, some synonyms might sound better (“tall fence,” “burly man.” You get the idea).

    When the words, “first Pokémon” left the man’s mouth the new students began to buzz excitedly.
    Pushing off the railing, Jasmine led Jyharri down a flight of stairs into a well lit room.
    You use “lead” a couple times when it should be “led.”

    “Hello,” Ericka and Chloe said in unison while Dave remained silent.
    Her name’s Ericka. ^^ And wooh, Chloe!

    “First I would like to congratulate you all on being accepted into this Academy.
    “Academy” doesn’t need to be capitalized.

    Just like it when they arrived to pick up the students, a sailor extended a plank from the ship, landing on the docks.
    You use “the boy” a lot near the beginning. You don’t always have to refer to him directly. Sometimes “he” will work just fine. Also, there are several instances when you repeat words or phrases.

    The dialogue when Jyharri and Jasmine are discussing which Pokémon they hope they received just after they were given Pokéballs seemed a little unnatural. Maybe look it over and try to smooth it out.

    One more thing: The description of Riolu had me confused because it was missing size. Until they said what Pokémon it was, I was thinking that one dog from RSE. They’re kinda bluish, right? Anyway, that might just be me, but I thought I’d mention it.

    Now to the actual review.

    It was a good chapter, getting all the basics of a trainer fic (main character, friends, Pokémon) out of the way quickly. That’s one complaint, though. Especially toward the beginning, things just seemed to be happening too fast. A quick scene of Jyharri and Jasmine discussing what they might experience (even if it’s not actual dialogue. Just a “they did this” thing would work) as they walk to the docks could help the pacing a little.

    Jyharri seemed a little too happy to wait until he got to the island to see what Pokémon he got. I know I’d be dying to see what’s inside that ball and I’d at least be tempted to open it when I found a quiet moment alone in my room on the ship. Then again, maybe Jyharri’s just a better person than I am. XD

    I’m happy that he got a Togepi. I like them and dealing with such a non-aggressive Pokémon will be interesting.

    Overall, pretty good. It could really go anywhere from here so I look forward to the next chapter.
    These tickets and passports will lead me home...
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    I'm same way as Burrado_Aipom - wanted to read the original but I got interested when you were almost done. Glad I didn't miss out entirely.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paragraph 3
    Once he stood erect once morehe held a suitcase in his left hand while he slung a backpack over his right shoulder.
    This sounds weird. I think you meant to write it without first 'once'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paragraph 10
    The stars in the sky had begun to look faint as the sun had just started to set.
    To me, it sounds like the stars were disappearing but that's contradicted by the fact the sun is setting, which means the stars should start appearing. Or could just be me - I'm probably just confusing myself. >_<


    Quote Originally Posted by Paragraph 14
    When both of them held up an envelope with a large stamp consisting of four colors in the middle, the man stepped aside. Once inside the building the two walked a few more feet to exit onto a dock. Just ahead of them were a few people. Once they approached the group Jyharri noticed some of them were looking out across the ocean, trying to find something.
    Just a minor mistake - two sentences in the same paragraph starting with the same word.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paragraph 23
    There was a great deal of others who were either walking and talking or leaning against the rail and talking.
    The second 'and talking' makes this sound akward to me, but honestly I have no idea how to fix it ^_^;

    Quote Originally Posted by Paragraph 43
    Placing the air horn next to it, he pressed hard on the horn. A loud screech emitted from the horn.
    These two sentences could be combined.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paragraph 73
    Darkness had covered Jyharri’s eyes. Various noises had reached his ears, but sounded as if they were being played in slow motion. Slowly light began to filter into the darkness. Suddenly the entire room came into view. The sound of people’s voices could be heard from outside. Slowly sitting up, Jyharri ruffled his messy black hair before standing.
    I loved the way you described this part. It has that 'eerie' feel to it.


    I liked the nicknames you gave each Pokemon. And I'm not sure if I want to read the originals yet. This sounds too good to spoil the ending for myself. I guess I'll end up doing it anyway but whatever, I still can't wait to see more.
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    Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I'll look into those mistakes and correcting them.

    @BA: Yeah he had a Charizard ^_^ You got the reference without reading the original. You get a cookie!

    @UR: I was going to ask you for your permission to use the name but you weren't online XD

    @Serenade: Thanks for pointing out the mistakes. I recommend reading this one first because the original is vastly different.

    I just noticed that two of my characters are named after Gym leaders O.o I think I should stop XD Also, I would like to welcome you three to the Pokemon Academy of the east! Keep up on your schoolwork and you'll do fine.

    EDIT: I tried editing the corrections in, but I always got a server error. Does anyone remember the words that caused the server error if you had them in your post?
    Last edited by Shadow Lucario; 8th July 2010 at 8:19 AM.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SL
    I recommend reading this one first because the original is vastly different.
    Haha before you posted I went to the original just to see if I was right about the Charizard thing, and I saw that it doesn't even start out the same way in the slightest o.O

    But anyway, the main reason I'm posting is because I have a list of the words that make the error thing show up. I'm not sure if these are the only words or not, but they're from the RPG Forum rules.

        Spoiler:- words :3:



    BA~

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    Hey, SL! Nice to see another Fan Fiction of yours about Dedication Through Light and Darkness!

    This was a good first chapter and the reviewers above already got the errors (which wasn't anything major) so I'll just review the chapter. It seemed pretty much the same as the prequel (or really, just Dedication Through Light and Darkness), but it was still pretty good and I was pleasantly surprised Jyharri got a Togepi (I didn't think he'd get a Charmander; then it would be too much like the prequel)

    Is this like the prequel with the same concept, obviously, not the same characters, but what about Team Lustrous and the Black Organizatin? (Yay! I remembered the names!) Also, is this going to interfere with Beyond the Limits of Light and Darkness (sequel to Dedication)

    Good work & I can't wait for more!

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    Last edited by Shadow XD001; 8th July 2010 at 3:12 PM.
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    @BA- Thanks for the list. I'll try to fix those errors soon.

    @Shadow- This fan fiction is hopefully not going to interfere. If you mean in the fan fiction itself then no it won't. They're both in alternate universes with some of the same people i.e. Jyharri.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

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    Double post FTW! Hey there readers! Here is chapter 2 of Remix! Enjoy!


    Remix: Dedication Through Light and Darkness

    Chapter 2: Challenges!

    “Do I look good in red or what Spirit?”

    “Togepiii!”

    Stretching out his arms, Jyharri posed for Spirit, his Togepi, in his new red blazer. He still wore his blue jeans with his red tennis shoes.

    “I wonder why they told us to wait in this room,” Jyharri said aloud as he looked around the small room he was currently in.

    It wasn’t very spacious. With his arms out Jyharri could almost touch both ends. The only light came from a small bulb that was attached to the ceiling. A mirror was mounted against the wall in the back of the small room with a stool in front of it. On top of the stool sat Spirit.

    The Togepi clapped as her trainer started more poses now with funny faces. Jyharri smiled as his Togepi laughed. Something about the laughter made him feel happy. After a few more arm pumping gestures, the Togepi stood up and tried some herself. Trying to flex her arms a serious look took over her face.

    Wow, Spirit sure is looking crazy, Jyharri thought nervously.

    Once she got the hang of flexing her arms Spirit lifted one foot up in an attempt to jump on one foot. Suddenly, her other foot slipped out from under her causing her to fall towards the floor. Hurriedly, Jyharri threw out one hand, catching her by the spikes atop her head.

    “Whoa there,” said Jyharri as he slightly stumbled forward. “I can’t have you hurting yourself now can I?”

    “Togepiii,” Spirit cheered as Jyharri placed her back on the stool.

    “Nothing can make you sad huh?”

    Spirit simply shook her body. Jyharri knew it meant no. From a previously unseen speaker at the top of the mirror, a voice was heard.

    “New students please prepare for the battle testing,” said a mechanical voice.

    “Battle testing,” whispered Jyharri as Spirit hopped down from the stool.

    The mirror shot up into the ceiling as the back wall opened. Darkness was all that was ahead of him. Taking a gulp of air, the temperature seemed to drop. Jyharri took one step forward before he started to sweat.

    “I’m not afraid of the dark,” Jyharri said as he literally shook off the fear. “If I want to be a trainer this can’t scare me! Let’s go Spirit!”

    “Toge!” exclaimed Spirit as Jyharri picked her up before dashing into the darkness.

    Soon enough darkness surrounded him. Even though he could not see a thing he kept running forward. The walls seemed to close in a little. Not only that, but now it appeared that they were made out of rock. A few minutes after Jyharri dashed into the darkness he felt a sharp pain in his left bicep as a rock grazed him. A thick liquid began to slowly run down his arm, stopping at the elbow joint.

    Great; I’ve got a small tear in my new blazer already, he thought.

    Looking down the dark tunnel, Jyharri could see a flickering light in the distance. A happy feeling came over him before something hit him in the foot, causing him to stumble. Not wanting to crush Spirit, he did a quick turn, landing on his back.

    “What in the-” started Jyharri as he fumbled around on the ground trying to feel what he tripped on.

    His fingers came upon a cold object. The outside of it was rough. It had a cylindrical shape, seeming to be about six feet in length. After figuring that it was a loose pole Jyharri jumped to his feet and continued to run towards the light.

    His breaths became heavy as he started to wheeze. Once he reached the light he saw that there was a door at the end. Jyharri placed his hand on the handle in hopes of it opening, but the door was sealed shut.

    “You must defeat the Pok&#233;mon to advance,” a mechanical voice said from seemingly nowhere.

    What Pok&#233;mon? Jyharri thought as he looked around.

    A small portion of the ceiling opened up, a figure falling out of it. Jumping back, Jyharri held out one hand as he held Spirit with the other. When the light hit the figure Jyharri saw that it had a humanoid shape. The instant it hit the ground it moved its body into a fighting position, its small pink arms forming a ‘V’ of sorts.

    Around its neck was an orange tattered scarf that hung down its back, going down to what appeared to be bandages. Atop its head was a Mohawk of spikes similar to Spirit’s. Its look was completed with what seemed like brown shorts and matching brown shoes.

    “I’ve never seen this Pok&#233;mon before,” Jyharri said startled. “Have you Spirit?”

    The egg shaped Pok&#233;mon shook her body. Jyharri placed her on the ground, kneeling next to her.

    “The only way we can get passed this thing is to beat it,” Jyharri whispered to Spirit. “Now a trainer is supposed to command their Pok&#233;mon to use attacks. What do you know?”

    “Togepiii!” Spirit trilled as she began to wave her tiny hands back and forth.

    The tips of them lighted up as she moved them. After a few waves she stopped the movement all together and trilled again. A large lightning bolt shot off of Spirit and rocketed towards the humanoid Pok&#233;mon. With a smirk the creature disappeared, reappearing behind Togepi. The lightning bolt hit the ground, making a loud crack as it destroyed the spot it hit. A small crater now remained where it hit.

    Still smirking, the pink Pok&#233;mon slid on the ground, kicking Spirit in the lower part of her body. Letting out a surprised scream, Spirit fell to the ground.

    “Oh no!” cried Jyharri. “Spirit, hurry and use that wavy thing again!”

    Jumping up, Spirit began to wave her hands back and forth like she did before. When her hands stopped she let out a little growl. The attack seemed to have no effect on the humanoid Pok&#233;mon. Standing there with its arm crossed, it began to laugh.

    This is bad! There’s no way Spirit can battle this thing! I’ve got to do something!

    Before he knew it Spirit was hit with the same kind of attack as before. Once again, her small body hit the ground as she let out a small cry.

    “Hang in there Spirit!” Jyharri called out. “I’ll figure out a way to help you!”

    Many different thoughts passed through Jyharri’s head. He could attack the Pok&#233;mon himself, but that would be dangerous. If the Pok&#233;mon went on the offensive then he would have no way to defend himself. Suddenly, something struck him. He had tripped on something when he was on his way to the door.

    “I’ll be back in a second Spirit!” Jyharri shouted as he ran down the dark tunnel again.

    Stopping at what he assumed was the spot, Jyharri dropped to his knees, feeling around. After a few seconds he started to feel around faster, desperation coming over him. Soon his hand wrapped around the cold object from before.

    “Yes!” he exclaimed quietly.

    Dashing back, Jyharri held the pole like a staff, his right hand in front. Once he reached the light all he could see was the pink humanoid Pok&#233;mon standing over Spirit.

    “What?” was all that came out of his mouth.

    The humanoid Pok&#233;mon turned his head to look at Jyharri, its yellow eyes staring into his. When the scene finally registered into Jyharri’s mind a feeling of both rage and sadness rushed into him.

    “You,” he said barely above a whisper. “You better have not hurt her!”

    Charging at the Pok&#233;mon, Jyharri raised the pole. The creature quickly turned his whole body, but was too late to dodge Jyharri. Swinging the pole, Jyharri smacked the Pok&#233;mon in the side of its body, causing it to stumble. A look of seriousness overcame Jyharri’s face as he circled the Pok&#233;mon.

    “How about instead of picking on little Pok&#233;mon like Spirit you take me on?” Jyharri snarled.

    The creature held its hand out straight like it was going to shake hands with someone. Before he could react, the Pok&#233;mon jumped at Jyharri, its hand glowing. Jyharri held up the pole to block, but when the Pok&#233;mon’s glowing hand connected with the pole the weapon snapped in two.

    “This is bad!” Jyharri said as he held the poles in front of him.

    Not having any formal training with staff like weapons, his stance seemed goofy and unbalanced. When he dashed forward the Pok&#233;mon easily dodged it, jumping over Jyharri like it was nothing. Jyharri turned on his heels, his right hand in front while his left rested behind him. Taking a few steps to his right, Jyharri stood in front of Spirit, looking back to see if she was alright.

    “Spirit I’m sorry I sent you out,” Jyharri told her as he faced his opponent again. “I should have learned more about you before trying to make you battle. If… no; when I get you out of here then I swear I will never make you battle again.”

    “Toge?” Spirit whispered weakly. Her entire body began to tremble as she tried to lift herself off the ground.

    The humanoid Pok&#233;mon looked from Spirit to Jyharri with a saddened look on its face. Clutching the scarf around its neck it began to back into the darkness its head slowly beginning to look at the ground. Gritting his teeth, Jyharri charged after the Pok&#233;mon. Instead of swinging the pole again Jyharri launched the one from his left hand at the creature.

    Even though it had been looking at the ground, the Pok&#233;mon sensed the pole flying at him. The Pok&#233;mon dashed forward, ducking under the pole and sidestepping Jyharri as he swung the pole that remained in his hand.

    Continuing its dash, the Pok&#233;mon stopped in front of the door. An opening appeared below it, allowing it to fall down into darkness. Jyharri threw the pole against the wall, letting out an array of curse words. Turning back to the door, he ran back to Spirit kneeling beside her.

    “I couldn’t get him Spirit,” he whispered to her while picking her up. “I’m sorry.”

    A smile appeared on Spirit’s face as she cheered weakly. A similar smile appeared on Jyharri’s face while a small laugh escaped his throat.

    “You’re right. Nothing can make you sad.”

    A loud click sounded throughout the tunnel. Looking up, Jyharri saw that the door ahead of him was now ajar, a cold air coming from it. Standing up, Jyharri walked over to the door, peering inside. Unlike the tunnel, the other side of the door was more urban. The walls were made of concrete, it was well lit, and the floor’s material was that of what appeared to be granite.

    It appeared to be another room of the academy. A desk sat about six feet in front of the door, a monitor atop the desk. Approaching the desk, Jyharri saw there was a paper next to the monitor with the words, “STUDENT PLEASE READ” on the front.

    Picking up the paper, Jyharri flipped it over and began to read it aloud. “Dear student; if you are reading this then that means you have defeated the Pok&#233;mon on your selected route. Don’t think the test is over yet. Now that you have defeated a Pok&#233;mon, can you find it in a replica of a route from around the world and capture it? You will find Pok&#233;balls necessary for capturing Pok&#233;mon in the drawer of this desk. Along with the Pok&#233;balls you will find items that can heal your Pok&#233;mon. Use them wisely. Sincerely, Headmistress Davis.”

    Jyharri folded up the paper and placed it in his back pants pocket. Taking a seat in the rolling chair behind the desk, he pulled up to it, opening a drawer on his right. After seeing that it was empty he opened the one underneath it. That one was empty as well. Turning to his left side he saw one more drawer. Pulling the entire thing out of the desk, five red and white spherical objects rolled to the side.

    Placing the Pok&#233;balls on his belt, Jyharri felt around in the drawer, his hand stopping on a bottle. Once he pulled it out he saw that the bottle was an orange spray bottle with a green liquid inside. A tiny notepad was attached to the side of the bottle.

    Peeling the note off the bottle, he saw that it said, “Spray on your Pok&#233;mon and they’ll be fine!” Not wanting to doubt what it said on the bottle Jyharri sprayed the green liquid on Spirit’s body. As the liquid hit Spirit’s wounds a small sizzling began to sound.

    Smoke began to come off the wounds as they started to close up and heal. All the while Spirit started to groan and let out cries. Not knowing what was going on, Jyharri began to panic.

    “The bottle said you would be fine,” he spluttered. “What’s happening?”

    The sizzling began to die down as the smoking did. Once the noise stopped and the smoke vanished Spirit stopped crying and groaning. Holding his heart, Jyharri could feel that his heart beat had risen to an unnecessary level. Before it could go down a burning sensation filled his eyes. It had felt like someone was holding a flame in his retina. His free hand instantly clutched one of his eyes as his breath became heavy.

    “Toge?” Spirit chirped worriedly.

    “I’m fine,” Jyharri told her, the burning slowly going away.

    Standing up, Jyharri looked around the room, trying to find the exit. His eyes passed over the door they came in before he saw a door directly to the left of the entrance. Walking to the door, Jyharri placed Spirit on his shoulder, the Togepi holding onto his hair for balance.

    “Let’s go find that bastard.”

    Throwing the door open, Jyharri took one step out. As soon as he exited the room the air became heavy. His surroundings changed to that of a forest, trees and greenery surrounding him. When he began to walk he felt a sweat drop run down the temple.

    “It might be a little tough to find him in here,” Jyharri told Spirit as he surveyed the area. From the trees came a shadowy figure. It was no taller than Jyharri’s thigh. An orange scarf was flowing off of its neck behind it. “Then again, sometimes things just work out perfectly.”

    The figure that had jumped out of the tree was the Pok&#233;mon that attacked them earlier. Standing up straight, the Pok&#233;mon clutched his scarf as he looked into Jyharri’s eyes. Jyharri pulled out a Pok&#233;ball, a serious look on his face. The creature continued to stare into Jyharri’s eyes, not blinking or moving.

    “Even though you hurt Spirit, I’m going to have to catch you,” Jyharri snarled. “Not only that, but I need you. Spirit can’t battle well so if I capture you then you can take her place for a while!”

    The Pok&#233;mon jumped at Jyharri, appearing right in front of his face before he could blink. Startled, Jyharri hesitated. His hand froze up unable to throw the Pok&#233;ball. Surprisingly, the Pok&#233;mon smiled at Jyharri and tapped the Pok&#233;ball itself.

    The Pok&#233;mon changed into a bright red light while the Pok&#233;ball opened. Sucking the light into it, the ball snapped shut. A light began to blink in the middle, blinking three times before disappearing. Jyharri’s expression was one of shock. His jaw hung open and his eyes were wide. Spirit began doing a little dance while cheering on his shoulder.

    “I-I just caught a Pok&#233;mon,” he stuttered.

    A loud clapping filled Jyharri’s ears as he lowered his hand. Turning around, Jyharri saw a slender figure walking towards him. Their long black hair covered most of their face, but Jyharri could tell it was a woman. Her low cut dress matched the color of her hair. It fit her body well, leaving no space. The dress stopped in the middle of her thighs, showing off her smooth legs.

    “Good job,” she said as she whipped her hair from in front of her face. Her voice was very soothing to the ears. It had the tone of a socialite. “You’ve done well Jyharri.”
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

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    That was a very interesting battle. Metronome isn't very reliable is it? Good thing Jyharri can think on his feet. I wasn't sure what Pokemon they were battling, was it a Meditite?

    Atop its head was a Mohawk of spikes similar to Spirit’s.
    Is mohawk supposed to be capitalized? I'm not sure.
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    Quote Originally Posted by SerenadeSP View Post
    That was a very interesting battle. Metronome isn't very reliable is it? Good thing Jyharri can think on his feet. I wasn't sure what Pokemon they were battling, was it a Meditite?
    Then I should step up my description. The Pokemon they were battling will be revealed officially next chapter. It is of fighting type though :P

    Is mohawk supposed to be capitalized? I'm not sure.
    Word automatically capitalized it. :/ I just left it.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

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    I read that thread about reviews and suddenly I feel like being nitpicky. Not trying to be mean. :P

        Spoiler:- Some specifics:


    It’s quite… inventive of the school to provide a hidden mirror entrance to the qualifier-type thing. :/ It would seem a little more practical to just have them walk to each stage the normal way, but I guess that wouldn’t be as interesting. *shrug*

    I can’t exactly tell what they’re fighting either. If it’s something 3rd gen and beyond it could just the fact that I don’t know all of those Pokémon so well but if it’s anything from 1st and 2nd then I’m a little ashamed of myself. ;_;

    Also, this Pokémon dodged lightning but couldn’t dodge Jyharri and his staff when he first attacked? And about that staff… what is put there for trainers to use or was it just a conveniently-placed pole?

    Overall, I thought the pacing of the chapter was much better than the last one, since nothing felt too rushed or dragged on. I would have liked to have maybe seen a little bit more of the school but I suppose that'll be explored more later on.

    The Pokémon capturing itself (for whatever reason) seems like a bit of a cop-out, especially when you had the opportunity to recreate any route from any game or even create a completely original one. This chapter wasn't too long so you definitely had room to describe a search through the area and even Jyharri seeing a few sights native only to that specific route.

    The qualifying challenge is an interesting idea and was executed well. A few things (the money and room it would take to give every student their own separate tunnel, the fact that the headmistress was waiting for Jyharri when everyone else was apparently doing the same challenge in different locations) bothered me but they can be pushed from my mind for the sake of enjoying the story.

    Sorry it took me so long to review and I'll be looking forward the to the next chapter. :)
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    Hello readers. It seems as if edit still hates me. I tried to edit in some more chapter titles but I couldn't. Hopefully After this I can. Well, here is chapter three so enjoy!

    Remix: Dedication Through Light and Darkness

    Cue opening 1


    Chapter 3: Training!

    “Great job Jyharri. Without much effort you captured the Pokémon.”

    Jyharri eyed the woman as she approached him. Her hips swayed as she walked, her black hair hanging down to her abdomen. The young boy gripped the Pokéball tight, stepping back when she got close.

    “There’s no need to be scared honey,” she told him with a small chuckle. “My name is Cherish. I’m a friend.”

    “How do I know that?” Jyharri asked cautiously.

    “Only you can decide that,” the woman said. “That Tyrogue you captured was quite an interesting one. It seems as if he has taken a liking to you. Maybe he could read your feelings when you were defending your Togepi.”

    Many questions ran through Jyharri’s head as she spoke. How did she know about Spirit? How did she know he defended her? What was she doing here?

    “So the Pokémon I caught was a Tyrogue?” asked Jyharri. “What type of Pokémon is he?”

    “Tyrogue are of the Fighting type,” Cherish replied. “It’s no wonder he defeated your Togepi easily. Normal types are weak against Fighting.”

    Wincing at the mention of Spirit’s humiliating defeat, Jyharri loosened his grip on his new Pokémon’s Pokéball. He stared at the ball knowing that the Pokémon that hurt Spirit was inside, waiting to be released.

    “Don’t think the test is over yet,” Cherish said, cutting into Jyharri’s thinking. “I have a little personal test for you. You will be rewarded if you can complete the task.”

    Snapping out of his trance, Jyharri looked away from the Pokéball and now stared deep into Cherish’s black eyes. “What is it?”

    “Somewhere on this route there is a small building,” she began to explain. “In that building there will be a Pokéball. The contents of it are unknown as of now. I need you to retrieve that Pokéball. Once you have done so then you may do whatever you please with it. Of course this would be too easy if there were no precautions. Traps have been set all around and in the building. Good luck.”

    Turning back to the way she came, Cherish began to walk off into the shadow. Watching as she disappeared behind a line of trees, Jyharri turned towards the path, beginning to walk along it. Once he was a few hundred feet in he stopped, realizing he still held the Pokéball in his hand.

    “Might as well,” he mumbled throwing the ball into the air.

    Cracking open, the ball released the familiar white light. The Tyrogue emerged from the light on one knee with one hand on his scarf as it billowed behind him. Kneeling down, Jyharri came to eye level with Tyrogue.

    “So you’re a Tyrogue huh?” asked Jyharri.

    The Pokémon simply nodded silently as he stood on both feet. Still not knowing how to feel about Tyrogue, Jyharri gritted his teeth as he exchanged looks with the Fighting type.

    “Well you need a name so I think I’ll call you Vex. Do you like that name?”

    Again the Tyrogue simply nodded without as much as a word. Jyharri stood, clipping Vex’s Pokéball to his belt. Giving Vex a signal to follow, Jyharri began to walk down the path in an attempt to find the building the woman known as Cherish was talking about.

    After walking for what seemed like ten minutes a bright light shone through the trees above them. Looking up, Jyharri could see the blue color of the sky through the small cracks in the trees’ branches. A slight trickling noise reached his ears indicating that water was somewhere nearby. Many different cries could be heard as Jyharri traveled deeper into the forest.

    Silently following, Vex held onto his scarf, constantly looking around him. Jyharri suddenly stopped causing Vex to do the same. Without a word Jyharri pointed ahead of him. A few hundred feet ahead there was a two story building. The outside seemed to be made of old wood, pieces of it beginning to fall out of many places. Many of its windows were broken, jagged holes replacing the glass.

    “Awesome,” Jyharri said as he punched the air.

    Vex attempted to stop him, but his new trainer had already taken off running towards the building. Shaking his head, the Tyrogue jumped into the trees in an attempt to follow Jyharri. As Jyharri neared the house a suspicious noise started to sound.

    The sound seemed to be coming from underneath the trainer. Stopping for about half a second, Jyharri saw a vine shoot up from the ground. Without thinking Jyharri jumped to his right, the vine barely missing him.

    That was close, thought Jyharri as he slid on the ground. She wasn’t lying about the traps.

    A whizzing noise came up from behind him. A sharp pain hit him in his right arm and his cheek as several objects flew by him. Touching his cheek, he felt the hot liquid that was his blood beginning to seep out. He figured he was cut on his arm too as it began to sting.

    Vex jumped from the trees, flipping onto the porch. Assuming that all the traps in the area were taken care of, Jyharri ran to the porch, joining his Tyrogue. When he put his hand on the doorknob a chill was sent through his body. Shaking it off, Jyharri attempted to turn the doorknob.

    After trying and failing to open the door, Vex pushed him side, busting the door down with a swift kick. The wooden door fell to the floor with a loud crash, dust flying into the air. Taking a hesitant step inside, Jyharri looked around in the darkness.

    “Let’s find this Pokéball and get out of here,” Jyharri whispered to Vex.

    Vex nodded as he jumped over the fallen door. The building seemed to be a small house, the room that Vex and Jyharri entered appearing to be a front room. To the left were two couches that had the same light tan color scheme. They were both covered in dust, webs covering a quarter of them.

    The right side of the room had no furniture. Cracked picture frames covered the walls, the room being too dark for the pictures to be seen. Moving along the edge of the room, Jyharri felt that he had come to a flight of stairs. An orange light illuminated the top of the stairs, making Jyharri squint, trying to make out the shadows on the wall.

    The first one he could see was that of a bipedal creature. Its small head was round. Being only about two feet tall, the shadow didn’t make it appear intimidating. Once the creature turned its tail was made apparent. The tail ended in a large fireball which appeared to be the source of the light.

    See that, Jyharri mouthed at Vex with a stern look on his face. Vex nodded, adopting the same serious expression. Maybe that’s what we came here for. Let’s try to sneak up on it.

    Placing a foot on the first step, a loud creak emitted from the old wood. Stopping in his tracks, Jyharri looked up at the shadow of the creature. It had turned its attention to the stairs, knowing something to be there. A bead of sweat began to roll down the side of Jyharri’s face, stopping at his chin. Vex jumped onto his trainer’s back, ready for a fight.

    “Who’s there?” a voice called from the second floor.

    When the voice reached Jyharri’s ears a chill ran up his spine. Beginning to chuckle, Jyharri began to walk up the stairs. Hands in his pockets, he reached the top of the stairs, coming to a well lit room. The room differed from the first in that instead of couches a single bed was placed in the middle.

    The picture frames on that lined the walls were not cracked in the least. In the frames were pictures of various people, all of whom bore one of the schools four colors in their blazer. A lamp hung from the ceiling, a fire lit in it. Sitting at a desk a few feet from the bed was a boy around the same age as Jyharri.

    Instead of wearing red he wore a green blazer. On his right shoulder was a sort of insignia that appeared to be a falling leaf. His black hair hung over part of the left side of his face, covering one of his light brown eyes.

    Standing up, the boy turned to face Jyharri. With a cocky smile on his face, Jyharri stepped forward now only a few feet away from the stranger. Vex hopped off of Jyharri’s shoulder, gripping his orange scarf. The small creature Jyharri saw the shadow of ran in front of Vex growling at him.

    The creature was a shade of orange, save for his cream colored belly. His small teeth and claws didn’t help with the intimidation factor. At the end of his tail burned a bright fire as Jyharri expected.

    “Who are you?” the boy asked, crossing his arms.

    “Jyharri Ahmed,” replied Jyharri. “And you are?”

    “I’m Edric. Edric Aiden. Cherish told me that someone else would be coming. Maybe you are that someone.”

    “So you saw that woman too huh?”

    Reaching behind him, Edric grabbed something off the desk. Holding his hand up, Jyharri saw a small red and white sphere in his palm.

    “This is what you’re looking for,” Edric said, depositing it into the pocket of his black jeans. “If what Cherish told me is the same as what she told you then you will be willing to battle for this no?”

    “I haven’t battled much,” admitted Jyharri. “I’m not that great at it.”

    “Then this will be an easy win. Pyre, show them Ember!”

    Jumping back while his Pokémon jumped forward, Edric landed a few feet from Jyharri. The small lizard like creature opened his mouth, releasing about a dozen fireballs. Vex leapt at Pyre while the fireballs hit the floor. Crossing his arms in front of his face, small pieces of wood hit him in the arm as it flew by, cutting the sleeves of his blazer even more.

    While in the air, Vex threw his leg at Pyre, hitting him in the side. The Charmander flew into the opposite wall, crashing through it into the next room.

    “Pyre, don’t take that!” Edric shouted. “Hit him with Scratch!”

    Jumping back into the room, Pyre dashed at Vex, claws bared. Once he was close enough, the Fire type began to swing wildly. Side stepping his opponent, Vex’s left hand began to glow as he swung it around towards the Charmander’s face.

    “Now bite down onto his hand,” commanded Edric.

    Just before the Fighting type could hit his move, Pyre opened his mouth, biting down hard onto Vex’s hand. Wincing, Vex balled his right hand into a fist, that one glowing as well. Punching Pyre in the face, Vex sent him back towards his trainer.

    “Awesome job Vex,” Jyharri cheered. “What type of attacks were those? Let’s call them Quick Punch and Chop!”

    “Your Tyrogue is able to utilize both Karate Chop and Mach Punch,” Edric observed as he checked on Pyre. “That can’t be one of the starters Pokémon that was given out.”

    “You’re right. He’s not my starter,” answered Jyharri. “He joined me after I was ordered to capture him.”

    “Well it’s an impressive capture, but he cannot and will not beat Pyre. Pyre is the best starter there is. Now let’s show them a Blaze influenced Ember!”

    Pyre shakily stood, an orange aura surrounding him. Opening his mouth once again, the fireballs that emitted this time were triple their original size. As they rocketed towards Vex the embers that sparked off hit the ground causing small fires.

    “Get out of the way!” shouted Jyharri as a fireball barely missed his head.

    Behind him he felt a heat erupt as a loud crash was heard. As four more head his way, Vex jumped over the first. The second grazed his arm, leaving a small burn mark. Hitting him in the middle of his chest, the third fireball pushed Vex back to the railing. Immediately after, the fourth hit him in the chest as well, pushing him through the railing and into the wall.

    The wall was ablaze, causing more damage to the Tyrogue. Falling to the landing on the first floor, Vex slumped over onto his side, knocked out. Jyharri looked over the railing in disbelief. Once again he had let his Pokémon get hurt.

    “You better go get your Tyrogue!” Edric told Jyharri as he pulled out a Pokéball. “This place is going to burn down! Better get out while we can!”

    With a nod, Jyharri jumped over the edge of the railing, his unzipped blazer appearing like a red tattered cape as he fell. Landing with a loud thud, Jyharri picked up Vex, looking his Pokémon over. Even though he was unconscious, he still clutched onto his scarf.

    “Can we get out that way?” Edric shouted from the second floor.

    Just as Jyharri was about to answer large pieces of flaming wood fell from the top collapsed in front of him, blocking the exit. Running back up the stairs, Jyharri saw Edric recall Pyre as he headed for the window on the opposite side of the room.

    Beginning to try and open the window, Edric became frustrated when it didn’t comply. Suddenly, the fire began to spread quickly. Soon the ceiling was on fire, the wood beginning to give out.

    “It’s not opening!” panicked Edric.

    “Forget opening it!” Jyharri yelled as he ran at the window. “Just jump!”

    Throwing himself at the glass, Jyharri covered Vex as the window shattered. Flying out, Jyharri saw the ground starting to become closer. Closing his eyes, he expected the pain of hitting the ground to rush through his body, a feeling that never came. Opening his eyes, Jyharri saw that he was soaring through the air above the trees.

    A force tugged at him from above obviously carrying him through the air. Turning his head he came face to face with a large bird Pokémon. Its beady black eye glared at him, clicking its large pink beak. The top half of its body was a dark tan while its underside was cream color.

    “These first years are getting crazier by the year,” a feminine voice said from the back of the large bird. “Don’t you agree Airbus?”

    The large bird gave a loud squawk in agreement. Leaning over the side, a girl’s head appeared. She wore a green blazer just like Edric. Her long blue hair had been done in a ponytail, flowing in the wind.

    “Let’s land here,” the girl pointed.

    After another loud squawk, the bird began to descend into a clearing. Once they were a few feet above the ground the bird released Jyharri. On his feet again, Jyharri pulled out a Pokéball, recalling his injured Tyrogue. The girl hopped off the bird as well, recalling it at the same time.

    “Thanks for that,” Jyharri told her with a bow.

    “No problem,” she said with a smile. “My name’s Elena by the way. Elena Vardo.”

    “I’m Jyharri Ahmed,” he introduced himself, pointing at himself with his thumb, a large grin on his face.

    “Well Jyharri, looks like they gave you a tough time,” Elena commented as she looked him up and down.

    His blazer had been ripped in many places. The black shirt he wore underneath was soaked in sweat while his jeans were torn at the left knee. Elena began to walk towards him, her eyes fixated at a spot on Jyharri’s face. Not sure what she was looking at, he became nervous.

    “Don’t be afraid,” she told him once she was a few inches from him. “I’m just checking out this gash on your cheek.”

    Gash? Jyharri thought as he touched the side of his face.

    Sure enough he felt blood run down his cheek and onto his hand. Thinking back Jyharri figured he must have gotten it when he jumped out the window after his battle with Edric. Suddenly it struck him; Edric was still in the building.

    “Well it doesn’t look too bad,” said Elena. “Just need a bandage. You can get that at the infirmary.”

    “We need to go back,” Jyharri told her, worry in his voice.

    “Why is that?” Elena asked as she turned and began to walk towards the edge of the clearing.

    “There’s still a boy back there,” replied Jyharri. “He’s gonna die in that building if we don’t get him.”

    “You can stop worrying. I sent my buddy in there with his Blastoise. A small fire like that is nothing to him. I’m sure they’re safe. Now follow me. We need to get out of here.”

    Hesitant at first, Jyharri began to follow Elena as she traveled down a path that cut through the trees. Not sure of where they were going, Jyharri felt like asking, but for some reason couldn’t. Silence reigned over the two for a good thirty minutes before a loud cheering rang through their ears.

    A few feet ahead of them were a large crowd of people. Jyharri recognized them as his new classmates while some of them were a part of the staff that he was introduced to earlier in that day. Most of them had torn blazers and jeans or skirts just like Jyharri.

    “Congratulations on passing your test Jyharri Ahmed,” the headmistress shouted as she walked up to him, shaking his hand.

    Scanning the crowd, he soon met eyes with a familiar face. After taking in their characteristics he knew it was Edric. Smirks appeared on both of their faces as they looked into each other’s eyes. Without uttering a word they both knew what the other was thinking.

    I hope you’re ready, the two boys thought, cause I’m gonna take you down!

    Cue ending 1
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  14. #14
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    Nice, chapter, Shadow! I'm actually really starting to like Vex and hopefully we'll see more of Spirit, too. I can't help but wonder that the scarf Vex has on, has some sort of significance. I don't know, I guess I'll see sooner or later. Edric seems pretty cool, and I'm not really surprised he has a Charmander, since Jyharri had one in the other version of this fic. Glad Edric is okay and hopefully he'll battle Jyharri again.

    Keep up the good work, and can't wait to see more!
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  15. #15
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    o.o la remix? 'twas unexpected... I dunno if I wanna read it or not...

  16. #16
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    Oh of course, a Tyrogue. I should have figured it out when you said it was pink. >_< (although I've seen some incarnations of it are purple.) It makes sense, it's a weaker Pokemon and the only other pink Fighting type is too powerful for a beginner. I like the kind of ring it's name has - you have a skill for this. Vex and Jyharri make great partners in crime considering how long they've know each other. The connection they have is amazing at their level, yet it's still realistic.

    The small creature Jyharri saw the shadow of ran in front of Vex growling at him.
    This sounds weird to me, mostly the 'saw the shadow of' part. Maybe adding a comma in there somewhere would help break it up like: "The small creature, which Jyharri saw the shadow of before, ran in front of..." Or something like that. Bah, I don't know what I'm talking about >_<

    Ha, I just finished a book recently that had a character named Edric in it. The kid's a good rival. I hope to see more of him.

    Just before the Fighting type could hit his move, ...
    I don't think the 'his move' part is necessary. I'd replace it with 'him/her/it'.

    And now Jyharri's making up move names? This is gonna be an interesting school year...
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  17. #17
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    Ack, I haven't been here in a while. I just read the second chapter, and it was interesting. I was kind of confused by the Pok&#233;mon's description that Jyharri, but I'm guessing maybe it was intentional? Either way, I'm sure I'll find out what it is when I read the next chapter you have posted ^^

    As for you problem with the first post, refer to this post and see if it helps ;)

  18. #18
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    Remix: Dedication Through Light and Darkness

    Cue opening 1


    Chapter 4: Teamwork!

    “Now that everyone who passed is here we will begin the school year.”

    The group of around 100 students began to follow the headmistress up the path towards the academy. The trees created a forest canopy, shielding them from the harsh rays of the sun. Walking side by side, Jyharri and Edric stole glances at each other.

    “Now I would like to formally welcome you to the Pok&#233;mon Academy!” Davis exclaimed once the enormous campus came into view. “This school was founded over fifty years ago when the world was exposed to evils such as Team Lustrous and the Black Organization. They presented a threat to every new trainer all over the world so the governments of the world decided it was best for people aspiring to become a trainer to go through a school first.

    “This academy is separated into four different dorms, each represented by a color. The Leaf Green dorm is represented by the green uniform while Fire Red students proudly wear red. Of course the same applies to Lightning Yellow and Ocean Blue.”

    Looking over his damaged blazer and felt the flame insignia on his shoulder. The color and symbol showed he was a part of the Fire Red dorm. Edric’s blazer had a leaf symbol and was colored green; he would be a Leaf Green student.

    “It appears as if all of your blazers, pants, or skirts are damaged,” pointed out Davis. “Let’s head on back to the academy and replace them. Then it’s time to begin your lessons.”

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    “Hello there. I am Professor Dalton. I will be teaching you about battling.”

    Once the students had received replacement blazers and whatnot they were instructed to pick up a schedule and report to their first class. Coincidentally Jyharri and Edric had the same battle class first thing.

    The Professor, named Dalton, was a tall man. His body filled out his purple blazer well while his white pants stopped at his ankles, just before his black dress shoes. As he walked around the room, which was shaped like a battlefield, he flipped his blonde hair away from his face, revealing his dark blue eyes. The room held no desks, but had spectator stands on each side.

    “Since today is the first day the lesson will be simple,” Dalton began as he looked over a clipboard with all the student’s names. “You will call out your starters and battle another classmate. I will be choosing for you. First up are Edric Aiden and Ericka Kiley. Now if the rest of you will please take a seat in the stands.”

    With a smirk, Edric snatched the Pok&#233;ball from his belt, spinning it on his finger. Ericka, the girl Jasmine introduced Jyharri to earlier, hopped onto the field with her Pok&#233;ball in hand. A serious look had been placed on her face, her green eyes staring into Edric’s brown ones.

    “You have a five minute time limit. If you cannot end the battle before then I will decide the winner,” Dalton explained. “And begin!”

    “Pyre, let’s rock!” Edric shouted as he tossed his Pok&#233;ball into the air.

    “Dance, Billow!” yelled Ericka as she followed suit.

    Edric’s Charmander flew out of the white light with a barrel roll while a creature that resembled a sheep appeared on Ericka’s side. Electricity started to spark off its yellow fur while the orange ball on its tail lit up. Its ears and tail were both a yellow and black combination. Scrunching its face, it kneeled down, ready to take Pyre on.

    “Billow, use Thundershock!” Ericka started.

    “Dodge and then use Ember,” countered Edric.

    The electricity that was building in Billow’s fur shot out, heading straight for Pyre. The Charmander easily dodged the bolt of electricity, countering with a barrage of fireballs that shot out from his mouth. Mimicking Pyre, the Mareep jumped out of the way, firing another electric bolt with this one connecting.

    “Don’t take that,” said Edric. “Show them Scratch!”

    Shaking off the damage, Pyre ran towards Billow with his claws held high. Just before the Electric type could dodge Pyre slashed at his side, pushing Billow back a few feet.

    “Follow up with Ember,” Edric continued.

    Still recovering from the previous attack, Billow had no chance to dodge the fireballs. They hit him in the same side he was scratched, knocking him on his side.

    “That’s it,” called Dalton. “The winner is Edric and his Charmander.”

    “Good job Pyre!” Edric exclaimed as he recalled his Pok&#233;mon. “Your Mareep sure is tough. I thought you would have beaten us for sure!”

    “Well Pyre is pretty strong too,” Ericka said, recalling her own Pok&#233;mon. “We’ll be training extra hard so don’t think you can beat us next time.”

    Both Edric and Ericka took a seat in the stands, a smirk on Edric’s face. Dalton looked back at his clipboard, running his finger down the list of names.

    “Next will be Jyharri Ahmed and Hayleigh Delilah,” he called out.

    Dammit! Jyharri cursed. Spirit won’t be able to win this battle. Maybe I can get away with using Vex.

    Stepping onto the field, Jyharri looked across it, seeing a girl that wore a blue blazer with a white skirt. Her dirty blonde hair came down to her chest, her bangs covering her eyebrows. She had dark purple eyes that seemed to look straight through you. In her left hand she held her Pok&#233;ball, waiting for Dalton to start the battle. Pulling Vex’s Pok&#233;ball off his belt, a bead of sweat ran down Jyharri’s face.

    “Just so you know I have a list of all your starters,” Dalton said as if he read Jyharri’s mind. “Don’t think you can get away with something else.”

    A shocked look appeared on Jyharri’s face. Placing the ball back on his belt he grabbed Spirit’s Pok&#233;ball and readied himself once more.

    “Now then, begin!”

    “Bud, show time!” the girl yelled as she tossed her Pok&#233;ball.

    “Spirit, standby for battle!” shouted Jyharri as he threw his own Pok&#233;ball.

    The white light shattered into sparkles as Spirit appeared. On the opposite side of the field sat a Pok&#233;mon that seemed like a plant. Its yellow head was shaped like a bell, the ring that served as its lips being pink. The skinny vine like body it had swayed back and forth, the leaves on each side moving as well.

    “Start things off with Razor Leaf Bud,” commanded Hayleigh.

    Swinging the leaves on its side, more leaves shot out spinning at a high speed. The leaves all had sharp edges, hence the name.

    “Move out of the way,” Jyharri called out.

    Happily running to the right, Spirit barely dodged the leaves. Instead of using a new attack, the Bellsprout continued launching leaves. Running around in a circle, Spirit managed to dodge them all.

    “Spirit, use Metronome!” shouted Jyharri.

    The Togepi began to wave her hands back and forth in a rhythmic motion. The tips of her hands began to glow just before she stopped. Right after the movement ceased a large orange beam shot out of her hands. What happened next was hard to decipher, but a large cloud of smoke formed over the small field, a large gust of wind blowing over as well.

    “Spirit, are you ok?” Jyharri called out as he shielded his eyes.

    Soon after he called out a pressure hit him in the gut. As a reaction, he placed his hands on the object that hit him. Looking down he saw his smiling Togepi. Once the cloud dissipated the girl’s Bellsprout was seen lying on the ground completely still.

    “Wha-” Dalton uttered flabbergasted. “Jyharri and his Togepi win.”

    I guess I was wrong. Jyharri thought with a look of complete surprise on his face.

    Everyone in the room shared the same look of surprise. Edric stared at the Togepi as Jyharri carried her to his seat, the look of shock leaving his mouth open. A small bead of sweat hung on his temple.

    That Togepi is something else… thought Edric.

    “Well that was an interesting display,” Dalton said. “Anyway, let’s continue.”

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    “Hey Jyharri wait up!”

    On his way to his next class, Jyharri heard his name being called. The person who was calling him was his childhood friend Jasmine.

    “Where are you headed?” she asked once she caught up to him.

    “Trying to find my Pok&#233;mon Capture class,” answered Jyharri as he looked around the hallway.

    On both sides of the hall were many doors. Each of them was one of the four school colors. The walls had all kinds of Pok&#233;mon painted on them such as Charizard and Gliscor. A few feet ahead of the two, the corridor split in two, another hallway going to the left. Surprisingly the halls weren’t too crowded. About a dozen people would pass by every few seconds.

    “I have that same class!” exclaimed Jasmine. “We can find it together.”

    “I see you’re in Lightning Yellow,” Jyharri observed as the two began to walk down the hall. “I also noticed Ericka is in Ocean Blue. What about Chloe and Dave?”

    “They’re both in Leaf Green,” she replied. “Ericka says they’ve been in everything together since they met. I think they have a thing for each other.”

    “Well at least those two are in the same dorm. I would have liked it if at least we were together.”

    A sly smile formed on Jasmine’s face as she looked at Jyharri. “Are you coming on to me Jyharri?”

    “Idiot,” he said plainly. “I’ve known you just about my entire life. If I liked you I would tell you straight out.”

    Jasmine began to chuckle lightly as they reached the end of the hall. The wall in front of them was a plain blue with nothing on it. Turning around, they saw that they were the only two not in a classroom.

    “Oh great,” Jyharri sighed as he slapped his hand to his head. “We’re lost and late. They should really give you a map.”

    “We can try going down that side hall,” suggested Jasmine.

    “Got nothing to lose right?”

    After backtracking their way to the fork in the hall, the two turned left hoping the classroom was somewhere nearby. A loud clinking noise started to rebound through the halls. Slowing his pace Jyharri looked around trying to figure out where it was coming from.

    “Do you hear that?” he asked Jasmine.

    “Of course I do. I’m not deaf,” she replied, sounding offended.

    As they continued down the hall the noise became louder and, along with the clinking, a screeching noise followed. Jasmine pointed to a door on the right side of the hall. Approaching the door, they confirmed that the noise was coming from inside the room. Peering through the window Jasmine saw two figures shoving desks around.

    “That screeching noise is desks sliding against tile,” Jasmine whispered to him, “and the clinking is them hitting each other.”

    “How are the desks sliding against the tile?” Jyharri whispered back.

    “There are two people in there,” she replied. “They’re both wearing black blazers and black pants.”

    As she continued to observe the two a third figure appeared in front of the window, their back to it. Startled, she jumped back, crawling over to Jyharri.

    “Someone else is in that room as well,” Jasmine said as she placed her hand over her heart.

    Kneeling down, Jyharri carefully approached the door. Once he was below the window he looked at Jasmine and pointed a finger at her, telling her to wait there. Beginning to stand, once Jyharri could see through the window a face peered back at him. The face was that of a woman with long black hair.

    “Holy-” Jyharri jumped back, falling on his rear.

    The woman opened the door slowly and stepped outside. She wore a slender black dress that cut at the left side, exposing her leg. Jyharri recognized her almost immediately.

    “Cherish?” he asked as he stood.

    “Jyharri,” she said, her voice sounding very sultry. “Would you and your friend step inside please?”

    Standing up, Jyharri walked over to Jasmine and extended his hand. Her face contained a look of hesitation as she grabbed his hand.

    “I don’t think we should listen to her,” Jasmine whispered as she stood. “There’s something about her that’s off to me.”

    “Maybe she can help us find our class. We don’t have to go inside,” Jyharri told her quietly. He turned towards Cherish and cleared his throat. “Excuse me Miss Cherish, but would you happen to know where the Pok&#233;mon Capture class is?”

    “Why it’s right here,” she said with a smile. “We have been waiting for you.”

    Jasmine grabbed onto Jyharri’s arm as they entered the room. Just as Jasmine had told him, there were two other people in the room, both of them with black blazers. The desks had been pushed to the back of the room, some of them stacked onto others.

    “Where is everybody else?” Jyharri asked.

    “They’ve gone to explore the campus for their first assignment,” Cherish explained. “This class is actually incorrectly named. I’ve gone to the headmistress about it many times, but she refuses to change it. The formal name is Pok&#233;mon Capture and Habitats. In this class you will learn about the different environments certain Pok&#233;mon live in and how to capture them based on that.”

    Jyharri looked at Jasmine and gave her a reassuring look. Even with that she still held onto his arm tightly.

    “I would like to introduce my assistants,” Cherish said as the other two turned to face them. “On the left is Clyde and on the right is Fiona.”

    “Hello there,” said Clyde as he ran his hand through his short green hair.

    “Nice to meet you,” Fiona said with a large smile, her blue hair hanging over her left shoulder.

    “Before I send you out I must inspect the Pok&#233;mon you captured upon arrival,” Cherish told them. “This is to make sure you passed the arriving test.”

    Pulling out Vex’s Pok&#233;ball, Jyharri sent him out, the Fighting type appearing holding onto his scarf like usual. Releasing Jyharri’s arm, Jasmine pulled a Pok&#233;ball out of her bag and called out the Pok&#233;mon inside.

    The light formed into a small seal like creature. Its fur was powder blue in color with several white spots on its back. Letting out a yawn, the Pok&#233;mon showed off its singular tooth.

    “Thank you,” Cherish said as she scratched something onto a clipboard. “Your assignment is to take the Pok&#233;mon you captured and go find a specific type of Pok&#233;mon on the island and catch that. Of course this won’t be easy. Since your Pok&#233;mon is a Fighting type, Jyharri you must capture a Flying type. Jasmine you need to obtain a Fire type. Now go.”

    Once the two students and their Pok&#233;mon left, Cherish placed the clipboard on a desk located in the front corner of the room. Clyde walked to the door, looking out the window to make sure the students were gone.

    “So what do you think Boss?” asked Clyde.

    “That girl had the hardest course of all the new students while the boy had the easiest,” Cherish answered as she folded her arms over her abdomen. “I watched over both of them. The girl completed it with ease while the boy had difficulty. That girl is the one we’re looking for.”

    “Doesn’t that boy have a Togepi?” Fiona asked. “He would have had a type disadvantage so it would be hard for anyone.”

    “Even in the event of a disadvantage that Tyrogue is not a lethal one,” explained Cherish. “I made sure that Tyrogue was weak. I specifically trained the Spheal to overcome any disadvantage and yet the girl still managed to prove successful. She will be the one to change our organization and destroy theirs.”

    Cue ending 1
    Last edited by Shadow Lucario; 27th September 2010 at 1:46 AM.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  19. #19
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    I am back baby! Shadow Lucario here with the long awaited fifth chapter of Remix: Dedication Through Light and Darkness! Something that is interesting to note, this fic has been nominated for several awards in the 2010 fan fiction awards. Because of that I would like to thank SerenadeSP from the bottom of my heart. It means a lot to me to know that you are enjoying my work. It means that I am doing my job as an author. Moving on! If you have read my previous series Dedication Through Light and Darkness then a character might seem familiar to you (:<


    Remix: Dedication Through Light and Darkness

    Chapter 5: Fire and Flight!

    “Something didn’t feel right in that room. That woman doesn’t seem legit.”

    “We shouldn’t worry about that now. We have an assignment and we have to complete it. I don’t want to fail because of your suspicions.”

    Jyharri and Jasmine had left the academic building of the academy, now traversing across the campus to the forest area. Jasmine’s Spheal, Glace, was riding on her shoulder while Vex, Jyharri’s Tyrogue, walked beside his trainer, clutching his orange scarf.

    “Where could a Fire type be?” Jyharri asked aloud as he looked around, his hand acting as a visor.

    “Maybe over there,” suggested Jasmine as she pointed to their left.

    Above the trees was the mouth of a large volcano. Surprised he hadn’t noticed it before, Jyharri began to lead the way towards the molten rock, the others following. Once they entered the forest talking had ceased. The two trainers walked in silence, Vex steadily eyeing the two.

    “So,” said Jasmine, breaking the silence, “have you noticed any girls yet?”

    “You sound like a jealous lover,” Jyharri bluntly said as he stared straight ahead, a barren look on his face and hands in his pockets. “I haven’t noticed many people. There was this girl I met before we even got to the academy. She saved me from a burning building.”

    “Oh,” she said with a sigh, her eyes slowly beginning to look down.

    Suddenly she felt a tug at her head followed by a grunting noise. Turning, she saw Glace nodding in Jyharri’s direction. His cheeks had started to turn red as he looked away. In turn this made Jasmine start to blush as well, a small giggle escaping her.

    “Let’s just get this over with,” said Jyharri a little flustered.

    After walking for about half an hour Jasmine began to notice the increase in temperature. The closer they got to the volcano the number of trees and plants decreased while the number of rocks increased. Once they finally reached the base of the volcano they had begun sweating bullets.

    Glace had begun to pant and flatten, her body now lying on Jasmine’s shoulder. Not a single Fire type Pok&#233;mon had shown itself.

    “Maybe we were wrong,” Jyharri said, wiping his forehead with his sleeve. “It doesn’t seem like there are any Pok&#233;mon are out here.”

    “Oh Pok&#233;mon,” shouted Jasmine. “I know you’re here! You might as well come out now and save me some trouble!”

    As if in response to her call a red salamander like creature jumped out from the bushes behind them. A flame shaped yellow spot made up its stomach while the rest of its body was red, save for the yellow mouth.

    “Lucky,” muttered Jyharri.

    “Alright Glace,” Jasmine said as she pulled the Spheal off her shoulder. “Can you battle?”

    The Spheal shook her entire body, returning to her normal self. With a nod the Ice type jumped down in front of the red Pok&#233;mon.

    “Be careful,” Jyharri warned her. “Magby can have very powerful attacks. They’re nothing you should take lightly.”

    “Glace and I got this!” scoffed Jasmine. “Glace, show him your Ice Ball attack!”

    A sphere of ice began to form in Glace’s mouth. Once it was the size of a basketball, it fired, hitting Magby in his torso. The Fire type smirked, showing the attack did next to nothing. His right fist became cloaked in fire as he dashed towards Glace.

    “Roll to the side!” countered Jasmine.

    Right before the Magby swung, Glace rolled slightly to the left. Not able to redirect the momentum, Magby stumbled forward before falling on his face.

    “Now Water Gun,” commanded Jasmine.

    A stream of water shot out of Glace’s mouth, dousing Magby’s back. The small Fire type let out a scream, jumping up to his feet. He took in a deep breath, expelling several tiny fireballs. They connected with Glace’s side, knocking her over.

    “Glace,” Jasmine cried, “counter with another Water Gun!”

    Rolling back to her feet, Glace shot another stream of water out as Magby released more fireballs. The two attacks collided, creating a large steam cloud.

    “Take advantage of the cover,” ordered Jasmine. “Crush him with Body Slam!”

    Being red, Magby was easy to see even in the cloud of steam. Jumping into the air, Glace brought down all of her weight on top of Magby, crushing his body. Once Glace jumped off of him Jasmine pulled out a Pok&#233;ball, enlarging it.

    “Pok&#233;ball go!” she shouted.

    The ball hit Magby in his back, cracking open as soon as it did. The ball turned Magby into a red light, snapping shut as soon as he was sucked in. Falling to the ground, the ball shook three times before a light flashed in the middle. The Pok&#233;ball now remain motionless as the two trainers stared at it.

    “Awesome!” cheered Jasmine as she picked up the Pok&#233;ball. “Now it’s your turn.”

    “Where can I find a Flying type though?” asked Jyharri as he scratched the back of his head.

    “Keep your eyes on the sky and attack when you see one you like,” Jasmine replied.

    “Vex can’t hit anything too high though,” Jyharri said with a sigh.

    “Let’s just search around. You’ll find something.”

    Beginning their trek back towards the school, both trainers scanned the sky. Clouds started to roll in, lightning present. Because of the impending storm no Flying Pok&#233;mon had been in the sky. Many of the land based Pok&#233;mon were now hiding in trees or bushes. Some braved the storm and traveled across the island.

    Starting with a few drops, rain began to fall from the sky, hitting Jyharri on the top of his head. Looking up, another hit him in the eye.

    “Ah! Stupid rain…” he muttered.

    Vex jumped onto his trainer’s shoulder, holding his scarf over him. Smiling at his Pok&#233;mon Jyharri pulled him off his shoulder and began to carry him.

    “Thanks, but I’m not gonna let some rain get me down,” Jyharri told Vex.

    The Tyrogue flipped out of Jyharri’s arms and clung onto his head, secretly smiling. Jasmine chuckled as she watched from a few feet behind them, thinking of her own Pok&#233;mon. Soon the rain was coming down hard making it difficult to see in front of you.

    “We need to get back to the campus,” Jyharri yelled back to Jasmine.

    “Do you hear that?” Jasmine asked loudly.

    Pausing for a second, Jyharri tried to figure out what she was talking about, but all he could hear was the falling rain. He tried to maybe look around to see what she was talking about, but once again he could not.

    “I can’t hear anything. What is it?”

    After pausing for a while Jasmine darted deeper into the forest. Hopping off Jyharri’s head, Vex ran after her with Jyharri not far behind him. Panting, Jasmine skidded to a halt, looking around quickly.

    “What’s wrong?” asked Jyharri once he and Vex caught up.

    “I heard a faint cry,” Jasmine replied. “It sounded like a cry for help.”

    “Toorrrrrrrrrrrr!” cried a shrill voice from nearby.

    “There it is!” exclaimed Jasmine as she began to run in the direction it came from.

    Jyharri and Vex began to chase after her again, but soon stopped when they saw Jasmine had not gone far. She had been looking at the base of a tree, not moving. Under a large leaf cowered a small baby bird that was covered in orange and yellow downy feathers.

    “It’s a Torchic,” said Jasmine. “What’s it doing all the way out here?”

    “Come here little Torchic,” Jyharri cooed as he bent down, extending his hand toward the Fire type.

    In reaction to his extended hand, the Torchic jumped from under the leaf, biting onto Jyharri’s hand with his light yellow beak. As Jyharri let out a cry of pain, Vex kicked the Chick Pok&#233;mon off. The Fire type back flipped, waving his tiny “wings” at Vex.

    “Wait a minute…” Jyharri said thinking for a while.

    Flying types = birds. Talons + feathers + wings + beak = bird. Torchic = talons + feathers + wings + beak. Therefore Torchic = bird and Torchic = Flying type! thought Jyharri.

    Knowing his trainer would want to get revenge, Vex readied himself for battle, throwing his scarf over his shoulder. The Torchic regained composure, staring Vex down with a large smirk. The small orange Pok&#233;mon dashed towards Vex, his beak glowing.

    “Aha!” exclaimed Jyharri. “Peck is a Flying type attack! I knew it! Counter it with Quick Punch!”

    Just like Torchic’s beak, Vex’s fist began to glow. Before Torchic could strike, Vex appeared in front of him, punching him in the face. The Fire type hit the ground, rolling backwards. Jumping back up, Torchic shook his feathers to release the water, making them poofy.

    “Now use Chop,” Jyharri shouted as he pointed at Torchic.

    Just as Vex was about to dash at Torchic, he stepped in a puddle of water. With the ground being dirt the water turned it into mud, Vex’s foot sinking deep into it. His momentum stopped immediately as he tried to pull his foot out of the puddle.

    The Torchic dashed at Vex again, his beak glowing once more. As soon as the Tyrogue got his foot out of the mud, Torchic jumped forward, his beak ready to hit Vex in the abdomen. Reacting as fast as he could, Vex side stepped Torchic, the beak barely missing him.

    “Time to hit him with Chop!” exclaimed Jyharri as he punched the air.

    When the Torchic landed on his feet, Vex delivered a swift chop to the side of his head. The chop knocked the Fire type off balance with him sliding to the side.

    “Follow up with a Quick Punch,” Jyharri yelled, not allowing Torchic to get in another move.

    Vex appeared by Torchic’s left flank with greater agility than before, his left fist glowing. Pulling back, the Tyrogue punched Torchic in his back with extreme force. The punch knocked Torchic off of his feet, the Chick Pok&#233;mon slamming into a tree.

    “Target set,” Jyharri said as he pulled out a Pok&#233;ball, enlarging it in front of his face. “Pok&#233;ball go!”

    The red and white sphere launched from his hand, spinning as it rocketed towards the Torchic. When the ball hit the Pok&#233;mon it cracked open, enveloping Torchic in a red energy. Torchic was then turned into energy as it was pulled into the ball. The ball began to shake once it hit the ground, a red light flashing on and off on the center button. After shaking around three times the red light vanished and a soft ping! was heard.

    “Oh yeah,” Jyharri exclaimed as he picked up the Pok&#233;ball. “Talk about a capture! I’ll call you Truc!”

    “And why are you naming him Truc?” Jasmine asked puzzled.

    “It’s short for the word truculent,” he explained. “I get the feeling that this Pok&#233;mon will be a feisty one. What about that Magby you caught? Think of a name for it yet?”

    “Since he can spit flames I guess I’ll call him Brum.”

    “What a stupid name!”

    “It’s much better than Truc!”

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    “Ma’am, we have examined that Pok&#233;ball that was retrieved from the forest manor.”

    “What of it?”

    “The results we’ve obtained were nothing short of extraordinary.”

    Nearly twenty miles away from Jyharri and Jasmine’s location a woman had been staring out a window. The window was located on the second floor of the academy’s staff housing building. Darkness covered most of the room with the occasional lightning brightening it up. The light from the hallway shone in through the cracked door as the man that entered left it ajar. From what could be seen, not much was it the room, minus a chair a few feet from the window and many bookshelves that lined the walls. The walls had been a dark blue color, gold lining them.

    “It appears the ball will not open unless a certain key is in our possession,” the man further explained. “We have reason to believe it contains a Pok&#233;mon unlike any other. Its strength is probably as great, no, even greater than a legendary Pok&#233;mon’s!”

    The woman pulled two objects from her pants pocket, one of them long and cylindrical and the other rectangular. The top quarter of the rectangular object flipped open to reveal a small orange flame. Placing the cylinder into her mouth she brought the flame near it. Releasing smoke from her mouth she brought her cigarette down, placing the lighter back in her pocket as she began to lift her black blouse. Across her back was a large slash mark that stretched from her left armpit to the right side of her lower back.

    “I know from personal experience what’s in there,” she said, taking another puff of smoke from the cigarette. “You must find out what this key is Siegman. I trust you. Now take this.”

    Reaching back into her pocket, the woman pulled out a card. The academy’s symbol of the four elements that represented the dorms had been on it. Throwing it behind her the man known as Siegman caught the card and bowed his head.

    “Yes ma’am,” Siegman said as he turned on his heel, his white coat trailing behind him. “I will figure this out!”

    “Siegman,” the woman called before he could exit. Turning his head slightly, Siegman saw a bolt of lightning crash into the ground miles away, illuminating the room, revealing the woman’s long brown hair. “You may call me Doris.”
    Last edited by Shadow Lucario; 10th January 2011 at 7:58 AM. Reason: Mixed up year ^^;
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  20. #20
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    This chapter was fun to write, I don't know why. The plot develops a tiny bit here, but there is some character development as well. Now enjoy.

    Remix: Dedication Through Light and Darkness


    Chapter 6: Faltering Spirit!

    “For the last time Jyharri Torchic is not a Flying type!”

    After returning to the classroom all the students showed their captures to their teacher Cherish. Upon the release of Truc the Torchic Cherish had informed Jyharri he failed their first assignment. She had told the young boy the Torchic that he had captured was of Fire type and not Flying.

    “That’s just great,” Jyharri muttered as he joined the crowd of students in the middle of the room. “You’d think a bird would be a Flying type or at least part.”

    “You kids must learn your types before you capture,” Cherish said, speaking to the entire class. “Over half of you caught the wrong type based on careless observations. Next time I will be grading you much more harshly.” Suddenly the bell rang, interrupting her lecture. “Get out of here. I’ll continue next time.”

    Spilling out into the hallway with the rest of the crowd, Jyharri and Jasmine exited the building, a sheet of paper in Jasmine’s hand. “I’ve got Battle Strategies next. What about you?”

    “I’ve already had that class,” replied Jyharri pulling out a piece of paper. “I’ve got a free period. I guess I can try to find a battle. This Torchic will be trained to hell!”

    “Just because it wasn’t the type you were supposed to find?”

    “That’s right!”

    Shaking her head, Jasmine waved to Jyharri before heading off in a different direction. Looking up into the sky Jyharri saw the sun was beaming at him from the direction of west. It had been nearly three o’ clock. Taking a glance around where he was he noticed that he was in the middle of the campus. Behind him was the building he just came out of and ahead of him was another building that he had never been in.

    “Let’s go check that out,” he muttered.

    When he entered his mouth dropped. The inside of the building appeared to be multiple battlefields with a juice bar on the side. Two of the fields had been occupied with trainers and Pokémon alike. Before he could take another step a boy, no more than a year older than him, appeared in front of Jyharri.

    “What are you doing here first year?” he asked.

    Jumping at first, Jyharri’s response was nothing but gibberish. “I-I-I-I…”

    “Jyharri,” a familiar voice called from inside the building.

    Soon the figure of Edric ran up to him. He had looked nearly the same, the only addition being a black patch on the right sleeve of his blazer. The patch appeared as old English styled R followed by a W in the same writing.

    “This is the guy I’ve been telling you about,” Edric said pointing to Jyharri.

    “Ah,” the other boy said. “Edric here thinks you’re good enough to join Razor Wind.”

    “What’s Razor Wind?” Jyharri asked lost.

    The boy shook his head as he chuckled. “Here at the academy there are various organizations, teams if you will. They are student formed and you can join anyone you want. These organizations are places to train or talk Pokémon. There are tournaments to see which of the organizations is the strongest.”

    “I joined Razor Wind recently,” interjected Edric. “As soon as I did I told them about you. So are you up to join?”

    “Yeah I’m in!” Jyharri exclaimed. “This is gonna be awesome!”

    “If only it were that easy,” the boy said. “To join Razor Wind you need to beat another member’s starting Pokémon. If you can do that then you’re in.”

    Jyharri sighed once he heard the requirement. “Let me guess; I have to use my starter Pokémon right?”

    The boy shook his head. “You can use any Pokémon you want. Just knock out your opponent’s starter. Now let me think of who you should battle.”

    “I’ll battle him,” volunteered Edric. “It’s only fair since I’m the newest member and we’re both first years.”

    “Alright take field C. Fields A and B are in use. By the way my name is Aubin Franck.” The boy jabbed his thumb into his yellow blazer proudly.

    “Aubin seems nice,” Jyharri said once he and Edric were on the battlefield.

    “He is. Everyone in this faction is,” Edric responded as he grasped his first Pokéball. “Now this will be two on two unless you knock Pyre out. I hope you’re ready because I loved our first battle.”

    “If I recall correctly you won that battle,” Jyharri said, grasping a Pokéball as well.

    Edric smirked. He tossed his Pokéball high into the air, the ball cracking open once it reached its peak. “Then maybe I’ll win again!” The white light poured out of the ball, hitting the ground. The light materialized into Pyre the Charmander, flames bursting everywhere.

    Jyharri tossed his Pokéball as well, his doing the same as Edric’s. “Not if I have anything to do with it!” The white light on Jyharri’s side materialized into Vex the Tyrogue, the Pokémon on one knee and his hand clutching his orange scarf.

    “Round two begins,” Edric announced with a smile. “Pyre, start it off with Ember!”

    “This same old move? Try something new! Vex dodge and then use Quick Punch!”

    The Fire type opened his mouth, shooting out the same barrage of fireballs he had always released. Just as he had before, Vex easily jumped over the fireballs. The Fighting type landed with his right fist glowing. Throwing a punch he hit Pyre in his gut. The Charmander clenched his stomach, reeling over in pain.

    “Follow up with Chop!” Jyharri commanded.

    Swinging his hand around Pyre’s body, Vex karate chopped his opponent in the back of the neck, pushing him to the ground. Quickly jumping back, Vex took in a deep breath, letting out a sigh. Pyre slowly stood with a smirk on his face.

    “Looks like our old tricks won’t work,” Edric said with the same smirk as his Charmander. “Hit him with Metal Claw!”

    “What’s Metal Claw?!” Jyharri asked startled.

    Dashing at Vex, Pyre’s claws began to glow. Slashing with his right, Pyre barely missed Vex as the Fighting type jumped to the side. Before Vex could hit the ground Pyre scratched him with his left claw, hitting him across his torso. The Tyrogue flipped backwards holding onto his stomach in pain.

    “Now Ember,” Edric ordered with a smile.

    Instead of opening his mouth Pyre jumped forwards, causing Vex to jump backwards. Opening his mouth, Pyre released a barrage of fireballs, all of them hitting Vex. Falling onto his back, Vex eyed his opponent as the Charmander jumped at him with his claws bared once more.

    “Roll back and counter with Quick Punch!” Jyharri shouted.

    Vex used his hands and upper body strength to push himself high into the air, flipping backwards.

    Not exactly what I said but it works, thought Jyharri, a frown on his face.

    Pyre’s claws hit the ground, digging into it, leaving him stuck. As he fell, Vex pulled back his fist when it started to glow. Pyre tried desperately to remove his claws from the ground, but just before he did Vex fell onto him, punching the Fire type in the side of the face. When the punch connected the force pushed Pyre’s face into the ground, a cloud of dust erupting onto the field, covering both Pokémon.

    “Come on Pyre!” Edric yelled.

    “Don’t give up Vex,” shouted Jyharri.

    The two trainers stood, waiting for something to happen. A figure flew out of the dust cloud, hitting the ground with enough force to knock anyone out. Both boys strained their eyes to see whose Pokémon it was. When the cloud slowly disappeared it was evident who won. It was Pyre that lay on the ground unconscious while Vex stood in the middle of the field, his foot raised and his body slightly bent.

    “Yes,” cheered Jyharri, running towards his Pokémon. “You did it Vex!”

    Clenching his scarf, Vex let out a breath of relief as he fell onto his rear. A red light hit Pyre, pulling him back towards Edric and into his Pokéball. Surprisingly, Edric held a smile on his face as he approached Jyharri.

    “Welcome to Razor Wind,” he said holding out his hand.

    Jyharri took his hand and gave him a firm handshake, a large smile on his face as well. Recalling Vex he turned to Edric, a questioning look on his face. “Why did you start with Pyre? Why not use a different Pokémon and make it tougher on me?”

    “I guess I’ve grown attached to Pyre. I feel that he is the strongest one and I don’t want to put my other Pokémon in danger by having them battle when they aren’t ready.”

    Jyharri let out a small gasp. What Edric had said applied to him as well, making him feel somewhat down despite his victory. “I know how you feel.” A surprised look took over Edric’s face, a sad one on Jyharri’s. “When we were told to battle the Pokémon when we got here I felt bad when Spirit got hurt. I promised to never make her battle again. That’s why I tried to use Vex in Dalton’s class.”

    Edric placed a hand on Jyharri’s shoulder, a smile on his face. “You’ll have to make Spirit battle eventually. Otherwise she won’t be able to get stronger. Besides, in Dalton’s class it seemed like she was pretty tough.”

    Looking towards the ground Jyharri tried to take what Edric had to say to heart, but it just went in one ear and out the other. Not sure of how else to cheer him up, Edric ran behind the juice bar and rummaged around for a few seconds before running back.

    “This should make you happy.” Holding out his hand, Edric presented Jyharri with a black patch just like his. Jyharri smiled a little as he took it, holding it up to get a good look at it. “Now you’ll be able to train here and make your team stronger, including Spirit.”

    “You’re right,” said Jyharri. Clenching the patch in his hand he turned towards Edric, a serious look on his face and fire in his eyes. “I will make Spirit so strong that even the strongest of opponents will cower in her presence!”

    “That’s the spirit! Ha! Get it? Spirit!”

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    “I’m here just like you said Cherish. Now what do you want?”

    Back in the academic building the woman known as Doris slammed the door to Cherish’s room shut, the noise traveling throughout the halls. The desks had been set back into rows while Cherish’s desk was missing. All that remained was the chair she sat in.

    “I’m interested in testing that girl,” said Cherish, a small stream of smoke slightly visible from her mouth. Putting her hand to the side of her chair, a single cigarette was located between her middle and index fingers. “What do you say we put on a show?”

    “And what of the boy?” questioned Doris.

    “I’m only interested in the girl. You can do whatever you please with him. Just make sure he does not interfere with my plans.”

    Pulling out her own cigarette, Doris placed it in her mouth before removing a zippo lighter from her blazer pocket. Once she flicked it open a small flame appeared, illuminating her face. “And what are your plans exactly?”

    “There is only one way to truly test the girl’s skills,” Cherish explained. “In three months time I will be hosting a tournament!”
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  21. #21
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    Sorry for such a long delay in replying to this. I hope I can make it up to you ^_^;

    I knew this fic was inspired by Yugioh GX, but it wasn't until I started writing my Yugioh fic that I realized that you named it after the card needed to summon Dark Magician of Chaos. And I'm guessing that card fits the general theme of this story? (Two opposing forces coming together somehow) Good choice. Can't believe I never noticed that.

    The battles between the Marreep and Pyre was good, as well as the battle between Spirit and the Bellsprout. My only nitpick with them is that they were kinda short, but since it's a class I can guess that it would've been cut short anyway.

    Jyharri and Jasmine had left the academic building of the academy, now traversing across the campus to the forest area. Jasmine’s Spheal, Glace, was riding on her shoulder while Vex, Jyharri’s Tyrogue, walked beside his trainer, clutching his orange scarf.
    Since you already established the names of each Pokemon and their owners in previous chapters, is it really necessesary to state who belong to? Not so much the Spheal, but the Tyrogue as we've seen plenty of it before.

    The description of the Magby was a little vague/repetitive. I never thought of it as a salamander - at first I thought you were talking about a Slugma or another Charmander. Other than that, nothing to complain about in that scene.

    And I chuckled at the part where the raindrop fell into Jyharri's eye.

    Soon the rain was coming down hard making it difficult to see in front of you.
    "You" should be "them," since it is refering to Jyharri and Jasmine, not me. :P

    The description of the Torchic was much better. I think the Magby issue might've just been because it's hard to really describe that thing.

    Flying types = birds. Talons + feathers + wings + beak = bird. Torchic = talons + feathers + wings + beak. Therefore Torchic = bird and Torchic = Flying type!
    This is so flawed that it's genius XD That and Jyharri making up moves made me gain so much respect for him. Great work.

    I love the mystery behind those 'school workers' that you've set up. I'll edit this post once I have time to read Chapter 6 but for now that's all I can say. Just know I'm still reading and I haven't left ^_^;

    EDIT: Now onto Chapter 6.

    At first I thought that Jyharri would be the only one who made that silly mistake, but since others made it as well it doesn't make it seem nearly as bad. I would hate to be the teacher in that situation.

    Shaking her head, Jasmine waved to Jyharri before heading off in a different direction. Looking up into the sky Jyharri saw the sun was beaming at him from the direction of west. It had been nearly three o’ clock. Taking a glance around where he was he noticed that he was in the middle of the campus. Behind him was the building he just came out of and ahead of him was another building that he had never been in.
    Like before, this paragraph seems a little too vague to really count as a description. Mostly the last two sentences of it does this - I understand what you were trying to say but you could say more. Like what the middle of the campus looks like, or how the building he had never been in was unfamiliar in some way. Try to envision exactly how you see it in as much detail as possible, then translate it into words so that when you re-read it you get the same results. And who knows, as you reread it you might find something else you want to add in/take away.

    The rematch between Edric and Jyharri was well done, I liked how Jyharri noted that Vex slightly disobeyed him, even though he was just improvising based on his orders. Makes it seem that Vex has a better idea of what he's doing that Jyharri, which seems to be intentional based on how you presented the battle.

    I'm interested in Cherish's motives, especially since she only wants Jasmine and no one else to be 'tested.' Doris also seems to feel the same way about Jyharri, but isn't nearly as intense about it. I can see this going in many different directions and I'm wondering what you have in store for us, which means you have a solid plot here.
    Last edited by SerenadeSP; 6th March 2011 at 2:59 AM.
    Yu-Gi-Oh: World Tour
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    A collab fic (w/ Brandy Beavers & Uninspired Author)
    Third Stop is up [11/28/14]

    Heroic Potential
    A Yugioh! fic. Chapter 20 is up [12/14/13]

  22. #22
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    Many thanks for the review SerenadeSP. Magby is definitely hard to describe. It was the only decent Fire type I could think of. Bad news is my laptop has died permenately. I can try to use my grandma's computer but the output of chapters will slow considerably. I hope I can replace my laptop soon. Right now I'm on my iPod. Until next time, I'm out.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  23. #23
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    Hey readers. Sorry for the long wait. I had to get a new laptop as my old one was completely out of commission. Luckily I had not started this chapter yet. Originally I was going to use this chapter to develop the plot more, but I decided to make a subplot. I'm evil. :] Anyways, enjoy.



    Remix: Dedication through Light and Darkness

    Chapter 7: Razor Wind versus Blazing Fist!

    “Alright Truc, use Ember!”

    Locked in a heated battle with Edric’s Pyre, Truc, Jyharri’s newly acquired Torchic, opened his beak to release dozens of small fireballs. Pyre easily countered with the same attack. With his tail glowing, Pyre dashed forward, swinging his tail into Truc’s gut.

    “Great job Pyre!” Edric exclaimed. “You learned Iron Tail pretty quick! Now try a Metal Claw!”

    Instead of his tail, Pyre’s claws began to glow as he ran towards Truc. Swinging his claws, Pyre began his assault. Truc saw this attack coming, dodging every single swipe. Just before Pyre could jump back Truc pulled his head back, throwing his beak into Pyre’s stomach. The Charmander let out a small cry as he skidded back.

    “Great job on Peck,” said Jyharri. “Hit him with another one!”

    Truc’s beak began to glow once more as he threw his body towards Pyre. This time Pyre grabbed onto Truc’s beak with one hand, pulling Truc in close.

    “Sweet,” exclaimed Edric. “Let loose a Flamethrower!”

    Pyre opened his mouth, a flame building up in his throat. Truc struggled to get free, but couldn’t break Pyre’s grip. Once enough fire had built up, a long stream of flames shot out of Pyre’s mouth, hitting Truc at point blank range. The force behind the flame pushed Truc into the air, sending him across the battle field.

    “Truc,” Jyharri cried.

    The small chicken hit the ground with a thud, rolling to Jyharri’s feet. Jyharri pulled out a Pokéball with a sigh, recalling Truc. Both Edric and Pyre threw their fists into the air.

    “Oh yeah; chalk one up for Pyre!” Edric cheered. “You might want to try training Truc some more. His resistance to fire attacks isn’t that great.”

    “I’ve been working with him ever since I caught him two weeks ago, but nothing seems to work,” Jyharri explained as Edric recalled Pyre.

    “Then you’ll need to train that much more to boost his power! Pyre and I train nonstop to strengthen our connection and our abilities!”

    “Well there isn’t mu-” started Jyharri, being interrupted by a loud slamming noise.

    To his left, one of the doors had been thrown open, a boy being pushed through them. It had been one of their trainers. His name was Trent Gillham. His long blonde hair now covered his face which had been slammed into the floor. Four guys stood behind him in the doorway, three of them tall and one of them short. Their blazers were each a different color, representing the four divisions of the school. While the colors were different they all bore the same symbol on the left breast; a fist surrounded by fire.

    “Trent,” Edric exclaimed, running to his friend’s side. “What did they do to you?”

    “T-they told me that there was no way that Razor Wind had strong trainers,” sputtered Trent. “I said I could take them all on at once.”

    “They beat you that bad?” Edric asked.

    “I took out three of them,” replied Trent, a large grin on his face.

    The largest of the enemy faction took a step forward, his shoes making a loud tapping as he did so. When the light hit his face it reflected off the frame of his glasses. His eyes were a light green, small amounts of brown being situated around the pupil.

    “I am Miodrag,” he introduced himself. “I am the new leader of Blazing Fist. Your friend here decided that it was best to challenge four trainers from the strongest guild at this academy. Now we return him to you, battered and broken. He further proves our theory in that no trainer from Razor Wind could best a Blazing Fist trainer.”

    “Don’t you dare talk down on Razor Wind!” Edric yelled jumping back to his feet, taking a step towards Miodrag. “Trent took three of you fools out at the same time. Does that not prove your “theory” wrong?”

    Miodrag began to chuckle, his head bowing. He began to lift his head, the chuckling ceasing. “Not when those three are of the weaker trainers from our guild. He did take them all out and it is quite impressive, but when I entered the battle he had no hope of winning.”

    “Think you’re so great? How about you take me on?!” snarled Edric, gripping a Pokéball tight.

    “Edric no,” Jyharri said, stepping in between Edric and Miodrag. “Pyre is your only chance of winning and he was weakened in the battle with Truc. I’ll take him on and prove that Razor Wind is not to be messed with.”

    “Let me take them on Mio,” the short one said, taking a few steps forward. “I’ll beat both of them at the same time.”

    Miodrag began to carefully observe both Jyharri and Edric, placing his hand on his chin. “You wouldn’t be able to beat both of them. The one on the left is Edric Aiden. I’ve seen him battle before and his style is too much for you to handle. The other is Jyharri Ahmed. I can’t say much since I’ve seen him battle once, but combined they would overtake you in seconds. We’ll do this as a team.”

    “A double battle it is,” said Edric with a smile, pulling his Pokéball off his belt.

    The rest of them pulled out a Pokéball as well, waiting for someone to make a move. The short Blazing Fist member was the first to toss his Pokéball, throwing it high into the air. Jyharri soon followed, chucking his ball onto the battlefield. Just as Jyharri did, Edric threw his Pokéball onto the field the spherical object skipping to the middle. Finally, Miodrag tossed his carelessly into the air.

    “Light up the field Nine!” shouted the short one.

    “Appear Sol,” Miodrag yelled.

    “Pyre, let’s rock!” shouted Edric.

    “Vex, standby for battle!” Jyharri shouted.

    Four streams of white light poured out of the four balls once the cracked open, filling the room with its brightness. On Jyharri’s side was Vex and Pyre, the latter not looking the least bit tired from the previous battle. One the opposite side stood a yellow and orange chicken looking creature. It bore resemblances to a Torchic, but had its obvious differences. In place of the wings were now two long arms that ended in sharp talons. Its legs, as well as its neck, were three times the length of a Torchic’s. By the short one was a canine Pokémon that was coated in black fur. It was hunched over, baring its white teeth and showing the rib like white bands on its back. The exact same bands had been present around its ankles.

    “Two fire types,” observed Edric. “If only we had water Pokémon. You take on the short one.”

    “Why is that?” Jyharri asked. “Vex doesn’t know any water attacks.”

    “That dog Pokémon is a Houndour and Houndours are also part dark type. Dark types are weak to fighting type attacks,” Edric explained.

    Wow. Edric does know a lot about Pokémon. I had no idea that Houndour was a dark type. I’m completely outclassed, thought Jyharri. Well I can’t let him get too far ahead of me! I’ll show him how impressive I can be as well!

    “Pyre let’s show that chicken who’s the real fire type! Start things with Metal Claw!” Edric shouted.

    Pyre dashed at the Combusken with his claws raised. They began to glow, leaving a small trail of light behind them. Miodrag nodded at Sol, the Pokémon knowing what to do already. Sol easily dodged the frontal assault from Pyre, flipping behind the salamander.

    “Great! Now use Flamethrower!” commanded Edric.

    Just before Sol could land Pyre turned on a dime, shooting a stream of flames from his mouth. The fire hit Sol in the gut, pushing him back a little, doing minimal damage. The Combusken brushed it off like it was nothing.

    “Go Nine! It’s your turn to use Flamethrower!” the short one called. “Hit that Tyrogue with all you’ve got.”

    Mimicking what Pyre had just done, Nine the Houndour also released a stream of flames. Just before they could reach Vex the fighting type side stepped them with great agility. A smirk began to form on Vex’s face before he was pushed back by a large object. Regaining his balance, he saw that Sol had blindsided him with a quick Double Kick.

    “Looks like they’re gonna play dirty,” Jyharri assumed.

    “Sol use Ember,” Miodrag ordered, pointing at Vex.

    Cocking back his head, Sol began to gather fire in his beak. When the fire was released, several balls of fire were released, speeding towards Vex. Just when he prepared to dodge Pyre jumped in front of Vex. Instead of connecting with them, the fireballs hit Pyre’s tail, enlarging his flame.

    “Stop your attack!” Miodrag cried.

    Edric smirked, chuckling slightly. “You’re too late. Go ahead and release it Pyre!”

    Suddenly Pyre was engulfed by a white light. Slowly, he began to change form. His limbs began to grow while a horn appeared on the back of his head. The white light shattered off the changed Pyre like glass, revealing his new form. The color of his skin had changed to red and a large horn was now present on the back of his head. With his now permanent scowl, Pyre turned towards Sol, flames shooting out of his nostrils.

    “Whoa!” Jyharri exclaimed. “What just happened?”

    “H-his Charmander just evolved into Charmeleon!” the short boy stammered.

    “Brandon, I can handle the Charmeleon,” Miodrag told the short boy. “You just worry about that Tyrogue.”

    “Pyre, let’s try a Flamethrower!” shouted Edric, pointing at Sol.

    Rearing his head back, Pyre began to gather flames in his mouth. Leaning forward, he released the flames; a long stream shooting out towards Sol. Miodrag made a clicking noise with his teeth to which Sol responded to by flipping over the flames, beginning to gather his own.

    “This is a real Flamethrower!” Miodrag yelled.

    Much like Pyre’s, a stream of flames was expelled from Sol’s beak. The two streams collided, heat releasing into the air. Vex raised his arms, trying to defend himself from the small embers flying off.

    “Vex, use this time to hit that Houndour with a Quick Punch,” Jyharri told his Pokémon.

    Vex nodded and dashed around the two fire types. Nine, who had been mesmerized by the flames, did not notice Vex run up to him.

    “Nine, watch out!” Brandon called.

    By the time Nine had noticed Vex, the fighting type laid a punch into his face, pushing him back. Nine stood slowly, baring his teeth. Vex grabbed onto his scarf, waiting for someone to make another move.

    “Sol, hit that Tyrogue with Peck,” Miodrag ordered.

    Sol jumped away from Pyre, his beak enlarging and beginning to glow. He began to dive towards Vex, but the latter executed a back flip, dodging Sol’s attack with ease. Sol hit the ground, his beak digging into the floor.

    “Now let’s hit him with Flamethrower!” shouted Edric.

    The same stream of flames shot out from Pyre’s mouth, rocketing towards Sol. Sol desperately tried to remove his beak from the floor, but he remained stuck.

    “Nine get in front of those flames!” Brandon yelled.

    “Is he crazy?!” Jyharri shouted. “Your Pokémon will take the hit!”

    Nine did as commanded and jumped in front of Sol, shielding him from the flames. Just before the flames connected, Nine began to glow bright red. The fire from Pyre’s attack was sucked into Nine’s body, leaving no trace of fire.

    “What just happened?” questioned Jyharri. “Why didn’t Pyre’s attack connect?”

    “It’s called Flash Fire,” Brandon explained. “If you try to use any kind of fire attack on Nine he will just absorb it, using it for his own fire attacks.”

    “It seems we’re at a standstill,” Miodrag announced.

    “What are you talking about? I was right about to win this!” Edric arrogantly yelled.

    “Look at the Pokémon,” said Miodrag. “They’re all exhausted. At this rate they’ll just all collapse due to exhaustion.”

    Edric glanced at Pyre, taking note of his heavy breathing. “You get off easy this time. Next time Pyre and I will finish the fight!”

    “We’ll see about that,” Miodrag said with a smirk as all the trainers recalled their Pokémon. “We at Blazing Fist are looking forward to seeing more from Razor Wind.”

    “Miodrag,” Jyharri called when he turned away.

    “It’s Mio,” he replied, not turning back.

    The three other trainers followed behind Mio as he left, none of them saying a word. Edric wiped his brow, letting out a small sigh. Trent patted each of them on the back, flashing them a smile.

    “Great job guys,” he said before taking his leave.

    “We got lucky there,” he said. “I didn’t think there were any first year students that strong.”

    Jyharri chuckled at his statement, patting him on the back. “What about you? You went toe to toe with him.”

    “You helped me.”

    “I was only back up. You handled him all on your own. You’re being too modest.”

    Edric chuckled himself, pulling out another Pokéball. “If we want to beat Blazing Fist then we’ll have to train our other Pokémon too. Pyre and Vex won’t be enough.”
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

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