9th July 2010, 8:20 PM
A Birthday Present Gone Awry? (Evashipping One-Shot)
A Birthday Present Gone Awry?
An Evashipping fanfic
Rating: R (Due to sexual references and swearing)
First fanfic, so I'll put it for my favorite couple! X3
Enjoy, review, etc!
Reggie was taking a nap. Or rather, he was trying to. For Reggie's younger brother, Paul, was in the kitchen making tea. Or, again, trying to make tea. How, you may ask, could Reggie figure out that his younger brother was having a tough time with the tea, even though one was in the kitchen, and one was in the living room?
Elementary, my dear reader: The string of curse words coming from the kitchen was a good indicator of Paul's predicament.
"Piece of crap! Make the Arceus damn tea! How dare you call yourself a "tea kettle"! You're not even making tea! Pathetic! Work already! I said work! Work! Work! Wo-" Reggie then heard a smash of glass.
"OH MY ARCEUS! IT BURNS! FUCK! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! DAMNIT!" Paul quieted down after a while, and Reggie heard the clinking of glass, and some quiet muttering, which was probably swearing.
Reggie chuckled quietly to himself. If Paul thought he hadn't woken him up with that then he was in need of a psychiatric analysis. He could hear his brother's light footsteps. Wait, did he seriously think that he was still sleeping?
Apparently not. Wait, why was he whispering? His voice sounded a little tense...
"I'm not sleeping, Paul." Reggie said, somewhat amused.
"I know." Paul snapped. He set something down on the table, and Reggie looked over. It was a chipped container, filled with a disgusting looking brownish liquid and...Are those specks of glass?!
I think I lost my appetite... Reggie thought, more than slightly appalled by the concoction his brother had prepared.
"Reggie?" Reggie heard Paul ask quietly.
"Yes?" The breeder responded, still staring at the, really, manifested stomachache.
"I'm, er, sorry for not getting you a present, but..." He began slowly.
"Paul, it's fine. Taking time off from you're journey to spend time with your big bro is a good enough present."
Paul didn't say anything, but Reggie noticed his brother made a squeaking sound that sounded like a cross between a Pikachu's cry and a gasp. He dismissed it off as an uncharacteristic, odd-sounding burp.
"Oh, but sorry for interrupting you. What were you going to say?" Reggie asked, averting his eyes from the ceramic cup and staring at the ceiling again.
Paul seemed to be frozen for a couple seconds, not saying anything. "...But I hope this will suffice."
"What do you-" Reggie was cut off as Paul bent over and slammed his lips onto his.
Reggie's sleepy eyes almost popped out of their sockets in shock. His mind went blank. If he could think at the moment, he would note that Paul is an exceptionally BAD kisser. Actually, if he could think, he would probably be thinking something along the lines of, "Why the hell is my brother kissing me?"
Paul broke away the kiss as soon as it started. Reggie was still staring at the ceiling. Despite what happened, he was preoccupied with something else. Apparently his mind was blocking what just happened out.
I think my arm's itchy. I wonder how long I can go without scratching it. Don't scratch...Don't scratch...
Reggie was snapped back to reality as he felt something wet hit his cheek. He blinked, and leaned his head back to look at his brother's face. His eyes were muted, and hidden tears had summoned themselves from his eyes, complete with silent sobs. Wait, what? Paul was crying? Crying? Does not compute. Reggie wasn't even sure Paul had tear glands anymore...The only time Reggie had seen his younger brother cry was either when he was a baby, or when he was 10 and broke his arm, and promised to kill Reggie in his sleep if he ever told anyone.
"Paul..." Reggie started.
"Shut up! Just shut the hell up!" Paul spat through his sobs.
And he ran off to his room while Reggie went back to his arm-scratching dilemma, albeit in a much more depressed atmosphere.
Paul lay face down on his bed in the Guest Room, staring into his pillow, screaming at himself in his head.
I'm a freaking idiot.
Why, why, why did I do that?
"I hope this will suffice?"?!
Idiot, idiot, idiot! Here's me, trying to be all cool, and then I kiss my brother!
Paul had his plan brewed up for weeks, and even knew for a fact that his brother was a homosexual. How? He asked that freak that the blond coffeeholic’s dad was co-workers with.
“Yes? Bzz.” The two-haired boy asked.
“Stop that. ...Do you think my brother is gay?”
“Why would you need to know?”
“Why do you care? Answer the damn question.”
“There is a 100% chance that he is.” Thorton answered monotonously.
“How do you know?”
“He was flirting with me.”
"Thanks. I'm gonna go gouge my brain out." Paul said with an indifferent frown. But really, he was screaming on the inside with joy. Battling 20 trainers with Rental Pokémon was so worth it.
Paul dealt with his sexuality a long time ago. Of course he was still “closet” but that didn’t keep him from his affections. He was even trying to cope with his crush on Reggie. He didn’t even care about the incest factor because he was too busy focusing on trying to cope, with the emphasis on “trying”. But it was like a volcano. His feelings had to burst eventually. So he figured that he might as well show it in a special way, not just blurting out “I LOVE YOU REGGIE!”
So he had his whole plan.
...But it seemed so much better in his own little fantasy world, where Reggie would kiss back, and they’d have their own little cliche happily ever after.
“Paul, I’m pretty sure you’ll suffocate if you keep burying your face in your emo pillow.”
The seventeen-year-old turned and looked up from his, apparently, “emo pillow.”
Reggie was leaning against the door-frame, his arms crossed, and he was staring straight at Paul.
"Paul. We really need to talk..."
"Shut up." It was always so much easier to spite.
Paul looked at his brother with a perplexed expression, before noting the mischievous grin on his face. He could feel his face slightly heating up.
"...What?" Paul responded, his voice quivering a little nervously.
"Are you gonna make me shut up?"
Paul looked at his elder brother. He let a light smirk break across his tearstained face.
"I'm pretty sure this is pedophilia, Reggie."
"Do you care?"
And that was all Reggie needed to jump onto the bed.
The next morning, Maylene opened the door using the keys she "borrowed" from her purple-haired pal. She looked around the house, finding all the rooms were empty, before coming into the Guest Bedroom.
"Get off your lazy butt, Reggie! Why are you sleeping in here anyway? And you were supposed to come train with..." Her voice trailed off as she noticed the two (not one!) mops of purplish hair resting on the pillows.
So what did Maylene, the mature, confident Gym Leader, do when she encountered her best friend sleeping with his little brother?
She went to the kitchen, made herself some coffee, and left.
Reggie never figured out why the jug of milk was empty, but he didn't mind grocery shopping.
With Paul in tow, of course.
So how was it? 8D