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Thread: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal

  1. #1
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    Default Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal

    September 10th

    I awaken surrounded by darkness.

    Mind you, this is nothing new. I believe that this is normal, although I can’t be sure. Although I get the feeling that some sound and some artificial light normally wake me up. Perhaps something is missing from the equation?

    I sit a while, and let my eyes adjust to the darkness. Slowly, the place where I find myself becomes visible. A large, square-shaped room. Am I in captivity?

    No… There are exits- or entrances, I can’t tell. Four of them. Two on the East wall, one on the North, and another to the West. Wait- how can I tell the direction? I don’t know…

    Beyond the sights, more things become apparent. The sounds of this place speak the loudest to me. I hear feral growls coming from the North, so I probably shouldn’t go that way. To the West, the passageway is pitch-black. To the East, the two passageways appear safest. I elect to take that route.

    I stand, and note that this place is much bigger than I first surmised. I had estimated that the roof would be only just above my head, but it is actually much higher. I wonder why I had guessed such low numbers. Maybe something is wrong with my sight?

    I take a few fumbling steps, noting how tough the simple task of walking is. Have my legs grown shorter? Am I just groggy? What’s going on?

    I proceed down one of the hallways, groping for the walls, using them to guide me. I can hear water falling off in the distance. Perhaps I may find some answers as to where I am by following the sound.

    I follow it for around two minutes, relying on nothing but the sound to guide me. Soon, I reach the source of the sound- a large waterfall. It does not fall into a small lake, or river as one might expect, but strikes the ground. Amazingly, it does not form a puddle or pond. Instead, it seeps into cracks in the ground. These cracks must be deeper than they appear. I keep that in mind, and tread carefully towards the waterfall.

    I peer up to the top. Stars wink down at me. So, this explains where I am. Some sort of subterranean cave.

    In addition, I know that I’m not very far from the surface. The waterfall may be large, but it is only twenty feet high or so. At least, given the strange proportions of this place, it appears to be twenty feet high.

    I turn around, ready to backtrack, and look for the exit. But, to my surprise, the passageway that I entered from has vanished. In its place is a solid rock wall. I go and inspect the wall. It is indeed solid, and I can’t get through.

    I peer around the room, but there are no other passages. I’m walled in.

    I turn back to the waterfall, and take another look upwards. I consider trying to look behind the waterfall for a climbable wall, but I immediately decide against it. The wall is likely to be slick, and even if I reach the top, I will likely be pummeled by the source of the water, and end up plastered on the floor of the cave.

    I turn back to the wall, and am shocked to see my passage. It definitely wasn’t there a moment before, and yet now, here it was! I decided not to question it, and proceed down the passge.

    I find that something is wrong midway down the passageway. I had turned left in order to enter the waterfall room, and thus would have to turn right in order to backtrack. However, a left turn awaits me. I turn around, ready to check if I’d missed my turn, when I realize that I’ve been caught unawares again. The passageway behind me still exists, but the room it leads into is the one that I’d awoken in.

    I proceed, and examine the room. There doesn’t appear to be any trick to this place- it just rearranges itself whenever no one is looking. That makes it all the more intimidating.

    I step towards the center of the room, and am surprised as anything when I trip up a flight of stairs. I take a few seconds to realize this, before I push myself up, and, deciding that it couldn’t worsen my situation any more, I climb the stairs.

    When I reach the top, I take a look around. I am rewarded when, to my right, I see the mouth of the cave. I close my eyes, and let out a sigh of relief. I open them again to see that the mouth of the cave had suddenly closed.

    That’s it. This cave is screwing with me.

    I close my eyes, and open them again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. On the third time, the mouth of the cave is visible again, and I take the opportunity.

    I find myself in a small, forested area. A river flowing from a stream abruptly stops, and the water drops into a hole in the ground. I peer down the hole, and am not surprised to see the floor of the cave below.

    To my surprise, I see a figure cross the floor below. It looks like some sort of lizard. Its tail is what sets it apart, however. On the end, a small flame lights the area around it.

    Several seconds pass before something clicks in my head.

    It’s called a Charmander.

    The Charmander looks up towards the hole in the ceiling, and sees me. She calls up.

    “Hey! You! Um, a little help, please?”

    There is a silence of several seconds, before a panic button lights up in my head. I just head a Pokemon speak. That isn’t supposed to happen, is it?

    I lean down, and answer weakly, “Wh-What kind of h-help do you n-need?

    “Just a rope or something like that. If I know where I am, the trees around you should have some vines in them. If you can toss one down, I might be able to get out.”

    I nod, still frightened. I move over to the trees, careful to move quietly, in case some more talking Pokemon decide to show up.

    It’s then that I catch sight of the lake out of the corner of my eye. It takes a second for it to register. But there can be no mistaking it- my reflection is invisible, and there is a scared-looking Totodile following me. I turn around, with the intent of asking this Totodile if it needs help as well. But, there is no one there. I turn back to the water.

    The Totodile has moved. He now looks concerned, and is in front of me. I look down, expecting him to be at my feet. He isn’t there, but a pair of sky-blue reptilian feet is.

    I nearly faint.

    “Hey, what’s taking so long up there?”

    I turn, and answer back, praying that my voice doesn’t sound as scared as I feel. “Nothing. One second, please.”

    I grab a vine from a nearby tree, and stand on the edge of the hole.

    “Vine coming your way! Can you reach it?”

    Several seconds pass before, “Yeah, got it!”

    There is a sharp tug on the rope, and I begin to pull up. She is about my weight, but somehow, I don’t have much trouble hauling her up.

    Before long, her head pokes out of the hole. She pulls herself out, and strides over to me.

    “Hey, thanks! I’ve been wandering down there lost for hours! Lucky thing you came by, huh?”

    If she says anything else, I don’t hear it. I’m already gone, running as fast as my stubby legs will carry me. I need some time alone to think about why this happened. And, perhaps more importantly, what to do now.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
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    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  2. #2
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    Just a few things:

    Your style of writing is EXCELLENT. No punctuation, grammar, or spelling errors - from what I've read, which gives your writing a lot of credibility.

    But...as for being a "journal" I'm not so sure placing it in the present tense works for this style of prose. Usually journals work best when written in past tense, and diaries can choose between the two.

    Once again, I like how you write, but I, personally, don't feel as if the tense does justice for the work. This may be the first chapter of your series, but I'm not 100% sure how well it will draw an audience in.


    My rating: 9.25 out of 10.
    Tauros tastes like beef. YAY! I'M A POKÉMON SOMMELIER!

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by xmikeyxlikesitx View Post
    Just a few things:

    Your style of writing is EXCELLENT. No punctuation, grammar, or spelling errors - from what I've read, which gives your writing a lot of credibility.

    But...as for being a "journal" I'm not so sure placing it in the present tense works for this style of prose. Usually journals work best when written in past tense, and diaries can choose between the two.

    Once again, I like how you write, but I, personally, don't feel as if the tense does justice for the work. This may be the first chapter of your series, but I'm not 100% sure how well it will draw an audience in.


    My rating: 9.25 out of 10.
    Thanks for your review. I honestly added the title after I'd already finished the chapter. "Journal" was the best I could come up with. I wanted a story in present tense, mainly because I wanted to experiment with a new style.

    Once again, thanks for the review!

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
    http://askredemption.tumblr.com/
    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  4. #4
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    It's just very listy, so it doesn't exactly fit into an existing genre of writing.

    It's fine/ambitious to have your own style, but the way you deliver it (you have potential) seems a bit on the bland side, as your descriptions are good, but there's no real sense of depth.

    Yes, I know it's the exposition/introduction, but it's also very vague - which isn't bad at all - you just have to really deliver an explanation for it later on. As long as you don't overlook the details, it has great potential. I would say it is quite dangerous/risky to use such a beginning, but I'm not really expecting you to take it in a bland direction.

    Just...um...keep everything in mind? (Not that you don't already have things planned out.)
    Tauros tastes like beef. YAY! I'M A POKÉMON SOMMELIER!

  5. #5
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    Just...um...keep everything in mind? (Not that you don't already have things planned out.)
    Believe it or not, I usually only have vague details planned out when I start. I usually just type whatever comes to mind, given what has already been established.

    Thanks for the suggestions- I'll keep them in mind.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
    http://askredemption.tumblr.com/
    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by pokenutter View Post
    Believe it or not, I usually only have vague details planned out when I start. I usually just type whatever comes to mind, given what has already been established.

    Thanks for the suggestions- I'll keep them in mind.

    Ah...that's a very risky move. It's better to use planned out introductions if you're only going to show us a few things, or not focus on the details. This allows the author to come back and show us what we may have missed.

    Otherwise, you'll get caught up in continuity issues, because as a writer, you're bound to come up with an improvement on an earlier piece, and if you try to implement these ideas too much...it ends up not making sense - i.e. "he got into a big fight at the magic rock...but wait! Wasn't he actually asleep at that exact time? No! He got sucked into a time portal created by Celebi." etc. etc.
    Tauros tastes like beef. YAY! I'M A POKÉMON SOMMELIER!

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by xmikeyxlikesitx View Post
    Ah...that's a very risky move. It's better to use planned out introductions if you're only going to show us a few things, or not focus on the details. This allows the author to come back and show us what we may have missed.

    Otherwise, you'll get caught up in continuity issues, because as a writer, you're bound to come up with an improvement on an earlier piece, and if you try to implement these ideas too much...it ends up not making sense - i.e. "he got into a big fight at the magic rock...but wait! Wasn't he actually asleep at that exact time? No! He got sucked into a time portal created by Celebi." etc. etc.
    Well, I usually read back a few chapters if I'm concerned about continuity. By the time I reach chapter 5, I've usually memorized the first chapter, and am rarely forgetful of details. As far as improving past works, well... I did that once, and ended up having to reboot that fanfic. The reboot was a success, however...

    Anyway, I'll keep these pointers in mind. Thanks!

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
    http://askredemption.tumblr.com/
    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  8. #8
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    September 11th, Part 1

    Something feels off as I wake up. Then, I remember the events of yesterday, and realize that I achieved nothing last night. My aim was to try to figure out what to do next, and here I am, still with no idea what to do.

    I take stock of where I finally collapsed last night. I fell asleep at the base of a tree, surrounded by other miscellaneous flora. I note the fact that the air smells very refreshing before I notice a basketful of berries.

    I begin to move towards it, when I suddenly begin to have doubts. Who put the basket out here? Besides, maybe it’s a trap of some sort.

    Still, it’s first thing in the morning, and I am hungry…

    I approach the basket, when all of a sudden, jerks to the side. Confused, I follow it, and notice a length of rope attached. I step closer, and a large jerk is given to the rope. I take a dive towards it, and do a terrific faceplant as I miss.

    I pick myself up, and begin to chase the basket, now being pulled at a constant rate. Somewhere, in the back of my head, something becomes painfully clear.

    Someone is pulling it from the other end. You’re being played for an idiot

    I decide that this has to end. I put on an extra burst of speed, and fall on top of it. I have it secured, but, to my surprise, it is still pulled. I am now being led along with the basket.

    After a few seconds, the basket is yanked into the air, and me along with it. I am now dangling ten feet or so from the ground, holding on for dear life. I am unsure of what my endurance is, but I get the feeling that if I let go, the forest floor will appear a lot bluer than it usually does.

    I stare straight forward, and notice that the rope is hanging over a tree branch. Whoever was puling the basket is definitely on the ground. I look down.

    The Charmander from yesterday is walking below, looking a bit confused. She is looking around, as if she is expecting someone. She suddenly looks up, and is shocked to see me hanging there.

    “Ack! I’m so sorry! Don’t let go, I’ll get you down in a moment! Just hold on!”

    I note her ironic choice of words. Several seconds pass before I feel the rope jiggle, and then I’m slowly lowered to the ground.

    The Charmander steps out from the bushes again, and she appears relieved that I’m okay. She steps over towards me, and speaks.

    “I’m very sorry about that. I didn’t think that you’d be able to actually catch the basket. The idea was that you’d chase it until it got yanked into the air. Then I’d come out and say, ‘I’ll get the basket down if you explain who you are, and why you ran away last night.’ So, uh, I guess that still applies. I’ll get the basket down in exchange for some answers.”

    I wonder if she usually explains the details to her plans so thoroughly.

    I nod, and speak. “Okay, but the basket’s on the ground right now. What are you going to use for leverage?”

    She smiles. “Now that I have your cooperation, what do I need leverage for? Help yourself.”

    I sit down, and pull some berries out of the basket. Between mouthfuls, I ask, “So, what do you want to know?”

    “Well, your name would be a good start. What is it?”

    I’m taken aback as I realize that I don’t know. I tell her this, and she seems surprised, to say the least.

    “You don’t remember your own name? Gosh, what a weirdo I’ve found. What do you remember?”

    I think for a minute. What do I actually remember? I try to dredge up memories, personal details, and even my personality. The best I get is a lot of academic knowledge, and the fact that I’m supposed to be human. I give her these details, and she does a double take.

    “Human? Really? Hm….”

    She begins to pace.

    “It might not be a good idea to tell people around here. They may be friendly, but there are certain things that you just can’t say to them. For your protection, let’s keep that under wraps.

    “As far as your name, it’s a shame you can’t remember it. And I can’t just go around calling you ‘you’ all the time. We’ll have to come up with a name for you later.”

    She turns to me.

    “Listen, I can probably guess why you ran last night. It must be terrifying to suddenly be removed from everyone and everything you know. It has to be even worse with no memories of what you miss. Then, to have something that you have believed your entire life to be impossible suddenly occurring, you must have been scared out of your mind. So, I’ll give you some help. I know this area better than most. You can bunk with me; it’s not a problem.”

    I sit silently for a few seconds, and then realize that she had just solved all of my problems. I stand up, and hold my hand out.

    “Thank you for your hospitality. I’ll be honored to accept. Can I have your name?”

    She smiles.

    “I’m Kim; nice to meet you. I guess you can be Heath. Let’s head to my place for a while. We can figure out what to do there.”
    ***

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
    http://askredemption.tumblr.com/
    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  9. #9
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    Good story, good writing, but there are a bit too many I's as the starters for the next paragraph, maybe. Example:
    I take stock of where I finally collapsed last night. I fell asleep at the base of a tree, surrounded by other miscellaneous flora.
    What would be better-
    Taking stock of where I finally collapsed last night, I notice fell asleed at the base of a tree, surrounded by other miscellaneous flora.
    And some of your paragraphing could be combined, like

    “Human? Really? Hm….”

    She begins to pace.
    You could make that
    "Human? Really? Hm...." She begins to pace.
    Just an example, you do that in many places so it ends up being too much of a list. That's my opinion, anyway.

    I hope you go somewhere original with the story, all my playthroughs of the Mystery Dungeon games (greatest spinoff ever!) have got the story pretty ingrained into my head, so something I haven't seen before, but with some relations to the storyline of Rescue Team or Explorers, would be nice.
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skydra View Post
    I hope you go somewhere original with the story, all my playthroughs of the Mystery Dungeon games (greatest spinoff ever!) have got the story pretty ingrained into my head, so something I haven't seen before, but with some relations to the storyline of Rescue Team or Explorers, would be nice.
    You don't need to worry; I have a story in mind. I'm not sure if I'll continue after the main story is done, but I know how the beginning, middle, and end will go. Now, it's just a matter of getting up off my lazy butt, putting the game controller down, and writing.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
    http://askredemption.tumblr.com/
    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  11. #11
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    September 11th (Part 2)


    Well, not much has happened since Kim and I arrived at her house. She showed me around, and said something about needing to run a few errands. She left me behind, just telling me to stay where I am, and that she’d be back later.

    So, here I am, looking between my large, blue, clawed feet, trying to figure out what to do with myself. There isn’t much here that can be used for entertainment. For her strong personality, Kim’s house is rather dull. I just hope that she gets back soon- hey, what’s that?

    I hop to my feet, and have a look. It appears to be some sort of flute. I experimentally pick it up. It looks like it’s made of wood.

    I hold it to my lips and blow. The sound that comes out is enough to make me cringe. I adjust how I blow, and it gradually becomes more tolerable, until it sounds just right. Something clicks in my head.

    C-sharp.

    I begin to experiment with placing my fingers over the holes. By the time I notice that I’m no longer alone, I’ve figured out D, E, and F-sharp.

    I look up, and notice Kim entering the house, a bag in one hand. She turns, and notices the flute in my hands. Her face lights up.

    “You figured out how to play that thing?”

    I look down, and realize that I’ve been teaching myself to play a wooden flute. I smile slightly, and put it down.

    “I guess I did. Is that a problem?”

    She shakes her head. “No, I’ve been meaning to figure it out myself, but I never had the time. If you want, you can keep it.”

    I **** my head to the side. She had it, but she didn’t know how to use it. Now, she was getting rid of it? Isn’t that a bit of a waste?

    She seems to read my mind, and immediately puts that concern to rest. “Oh, don’t worry. I found that thing lying around when I bought that house. Whoever owned the house last left it behind. They haven’t made any effort to take it back, so I think that we can assume that they don’t want it back.”

    I pick the flute up again, and, deciding that I don’t have any reason not to, nod my head. She smiles, and then reaches for her bag. She pulls two apples out, and tosses one to me. I catch it, and begin to eat. She sits down next to me, and begins to speak.

    “So, you don’t know who you are, where you’re from, or even your own name.”

    “I thought you named me Heath.”

    “I did, but that’s only until you remember your real name. Anyway, you have basically nothing to do for now. Is that right?”

    I think for a minute. “Unless I want to become a traveling minstrel, I’ve got absolutely nothing on my schedule. Until I remember anything, I won’t know a logical starting point for discovering my identity. Why, did you have some idea of what we should do?”

    She takes a breath. “Now, don’t freak out at this suggestion, but I think that we ought to introduce you to everyone here. While I was out, I mentioned to everybody that I had a roommate, and they seemed very interested in meeting you. We’ll cover up the fact that you’re a human, so they’ll be less than suspicious of you. All we need to do is make the rounds around the square, and then we’ll come home. Simple, right?”

    I think that she just suggested the worst possible idea for the moment. I don’t know how good of a liar I am, or how well I function in a large group. I know that I’m fine in one-on-one conversations, but a whole town is a different matter. I let her know of my concerns, and she nods.

    “I know that you have no idea what you’re like, but until you put yourself to the test, what will you actually find out?”

    I ready a counter argument, but she stands up, and turns me towards her.

    “Listen, I know that you’re scared, but until you have to fear for your life, you can’t let it dominate your life. So what if you’re human? They won’t know that. So what if you can’t remember anything? It’s an opportunity for a clean slate! Fear? Bah! Once in a while, you have to throw caution to the winds, and go for it! Carpe diem!”

    She takes a few seconds to catch her breath, and then quietly continues. “I know that you don’t want to do this, but not doing it will make them even more suspicious than the whole human thing.”

    I think on it, and realize that she’s right. There’s nothing to lose and everything to gain from a trip into town. I nod my head in agreement, and speak.

    “Okay, then, let’s do this thing.”

    ***

    I lift my head, and take in the sights. Next to me, Kim smiles.

    “Welcome to Quest Plaza!”

    In front of us is a village square. Many booths are lined up along the sides of a red-bricked road. Pokemon of all sorts move all over the square, some stopping at booths, while others sit and gossip at intersections.

    What strikes me the most is the noise of this place. So many different dialects, languages, and voices all squeezed into one place! It sounds exactly like a storybook town, but this is actually real!

    Kim takes my hand, and leads me to one of the booths, where the largest amount of hustle and bustle is occurring. We push our way through a crowd of Pokemon, and eventually end up in the back of a slow-moving line. Sooner or later, we end up near the front, and can finally make out the voices of the shopkeepers.

    “We’re sorry sir, but if you don’t like our prices, you can always not come here…”

    “That’s just the problem!” comes a gruff voice just in front of us. “You guys won’t buy any of my stuff for what it’s worth, and you’re the only ones who will buy it!”

    “Well, sometimes that’s the way the poffin crumbles. Next!”

    An angry Chaobuu pushes his pay past us, muttering about robbery. We move ahead in line, and Kim smiles at the shopkeepers. “Hey, guys!”

    A pair of Kecleon energetically lean forward over the counter. The one on the left, who sports an unusual purple tint, starts off the conversation.

    “Hello, and hello again! How’ve you been since this morning?”

    His cohort, an ordinary green Kecleon, picks up. “Yes, were our apples to your liking?”

    Kim smiles. “They were delicious! Where do you guys find them?”

    “If you knew, we’d lose a valued customer! So, what can we do for you?”

    “Yes! Who’s your friend? Is he your new roommate?”

    They both lean forward, clearly interested in me.

    “Please do tell us!”

    I get the sense that these two loved anything remotely interesting, be it a rare item or a newcomer. I look at Kim, who motions for me to introduce myself. I step forward, and hold out my hand.

    “I’m Heath. Nice to meet you.”

    “Ah, Heath! Nice to meet you as well!”

    “Perhaps you’ll come by our store sometime! We have lots of good merchandise!”

    Before I can be roped into buying something, Kim grabs me, and waves goodbye to the Kecleons as she walks out. She turns to me once we’re out of earshot.

    “While their sell price is reasonable, they can very easily hook you into buying much more than you need. Their return policy is awful, and most of what you end up buying will probably gather dust in storage, as you won’t need it for some time. So, for the love of Arceus, keep a budget in mind when visiting them.”

    She points to another booth. “Over there’s the Kangaskhan storage. I doubt that you’ll need to use it much as some Pokemon, but we should still go in to say hi.”

    After being introduced to Kanaskhan, Raichu at the link shop, Jaroda at the bank, and Zoroark at the dojo, I begin to feel at ease with the town. The residents appear to be friendly, and I feel almost at home wandering the streets.

    My train of thought is interrupted as Kim takes an unexpected turn. I’m pulled along, and ask where we’re going.

    “There’s one more place that you have to come. It’s a little off the map, but it’s worth it.”

    Two lefts, a right, and then one final left, and we’re standing in front of a tent. A sign outside reads “Madame Lucario’s Aura Reading.” I turn to Kim.

    “You’ve got to be joking.”

    She facepalms. “Look, I know that it looks like a load of hokum, but she’s legit. Besides, fortune telling isn’t all that she gets into. She’ll provide the best description.”

    I shrug, and we enter. I’m immediately hit by the strong scent of lavender as we enter. Kim seems not to notice the smell, and I conclude that she must be used to it.

    The room is about 16 feet across, in a hexagonal shape. There are several bookshelves lined up along the sides of the tent, but they aren’t anywhere near full. There is a large open space in the middle, which sports a small table with two chairs pushed up to it. The only source of light is a candle, placed a bit to the left of the table.

    An aged Lucario is seated at the table, busy with a number of envelopes in front of her. As we enter, she looks up and smiles.

    “Well, well, well! If it isn’t Kim! Where have you been? You never come around for dinner anymore.”

    Kim smiles. “It’s been a while, Ma’am. I got a place of my own about two weeks ago.”

    She turns to me. “Heath, this is Madame Lucario. About three years ago, she set up shop here. At first, her only customers were the incredibly superstitious, but soon, she began to attract rescue teams of all sorts, who had figured out that her gifts are legitimate. I met her last year, and this place became like a second home for me. Before then, I really didn’t have a true home. I traveled a lot, but fell in love with this town, and decided to permanently stay.”

    Madame Lucario nods. “Kim showed up here in the middle of a rainstorm, and asked if I’d let her bunk for a few days. I saw no reason to refuse, and she became like a granddaughter. She began to look for a home of her own six months ago, and stopped coming. I assumed that she’d found someone. Are you two together?”

    What an awkward question! Kim looks embarrassed for a moment, but quickly shakes it off. “No, he’s just a friend. I came for two reasons. First, to say hi, and second, to introduce Heath. He’s… Well, perhaps you can tell.”

    I take two steps forward, and pull the chair out. I take a seat, and something strikes me.

    “Kim, you said that we wouldn’t tell anybody!”

    “Relax, Heath. She’s the most trustworthy Pokemon I know.”

    Madame Lucario nods. “You become very good at keeping people’s secrets in this profession. Now, may I have your hands?”

    I hold my hands out, and she takes them. “Wait a minute. Don’t fortune tellers usually have a crystal ball?”

    “Only the bad ones. I can do my job without one.”

    On the last word, she grasps my hands, and there is suddenly light filing the room. A bright white wave obscures my vision, and suddenly, I’m not in the tent anymore. I’m… Where exactly am I? It’s just a zone of pure white.

    I hear someone clear their throat. I turn, and Madame Lucario is standing behind me. She begins to walk along what could be a wall.

    “White- the color of a blank heart. You are an amnesiac. You’ve had several days to recover and fill your head, as evidenced by the wave along here.”

    She motions to a wavy line along the white void. She points to another.

    “The straight, broad wave- a fondness for music. It’s about half as long as it usually is, implying that you like to make the music yourself.”

    “The jagged broad wave- a connection to a being of great power. This connection is thin, and is usually just evidence that you have seen a legendary Pokemon in person.”

    “The rounded, broad wave- an uncertain future that your past will have little bearing on.”

    She moves on to one more. “The Blue tint on your life wave- you are a human.”

    Then , suddenly, we’re back in the tent, and Madame Lucario is sitting across from me, looking smug.

    “Tell me, Heath. Do you think that anybody will believe me if I told them that you are a human in Mareep’s clothes?”

    The metaphor is totally lost on me, but I nod my head anyway. She raises an eyebrow. “Someone would believe that?”

    “Well, Kim did.”

    “Kim stayed here for some time. She has learned to accept the impossible. Everybody here will think that I’m crazy if I tell them something like that. Your secret is safe.”

    She pulls out a pad of ink and a piece of paper. “I want your handprint. This is standard procedure- if something about someone interests me, I take a hand or pawprint in order to attempt and divine their future, if their aura doesn’t already tell me that much and more.”

    I stamp my hand. Madame Lucario takes the sheet, and places it on a bookshelf. She nods, and smiles.

    “Unless you need something else, that’ll be all.”

    Kim thinks, and asks, “Can we stay for dinner?”

    Madame Lucario chuckles. “Of course. I had a feeling that you’d come, so I prepared extra portions.”


    Kim’s Note
    That evening ended on a good note. Sadly, it would be one of the few within the next 6 months that went even close to that well. Or even that safely.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

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  12. #12
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    The next three pages are blank

    September 14th

    Over the last 3 days, much has happened. I have become used to my new surroundings, and finally feel at home. I have finished teaching myself the flute, although I haven’t mastered it yet.

    Kim and I have visited Madame Lucario twice since first meeting her, and she finally got around to explaining what she does when she’s not divining personal information.

    “Well, you see, many rescue teams have cropped up around this area in the last ten years. In this area, you usually need to have a request mailed to you, because there is no official outpost for miles. So, I use my genealogy to my advantage. I’m related to a great explorer, so I can treat this tent as an unofficial guild. Requests are sent out to all guilds and outposts, so I charge a small fee for accepting a mission or two that gets mailed to me.”

    So, she makes her income by polite extortion. Who knew?

    So, that’s where Kim and I are headed right now. I’ve learned to enjoy her company, and she seems downright fascinated with my handprint. Every time she thinks that nobody’s looking, she pulls it out, and does her best to analyze it. I can’t tell her methods, but it’s becoming increasingly clear that they aren’t effective, because she got very frustrated yesterday when I asked if she’d made any progress.

    Madame Lucario’s tent looms in the distance. There’s something off about it, but I’m not sure yet. Then, I notice the figure standing outside of the tent.

    He appears to be about my height, with a slate-grey body. His head is ovoid, with a thick, backwards-facing fin on the back. His most notable feature is the pair of tusks that stick out of the sides of his mouth. They don’t appear to serve any purpose now, but I get the sense that down his evolutionary line, they can become lethal weapons.

    It takes me a while longer than usual to guess at his species, but sooner or later, I arrive at the name Kibago.

    He is pacing in front of the tent, seeming unsure of what to do. I step toward him, and he jumps a little. I don’t think he saw us coming.

    “Hey. Are you here for something?”

    He takes a minute, and then responds. His voice is tolerable, but his tone suggests forced bravado.

    “I’m Julius, solo explorer! I’m here looking for a job.”

    Kim steps forward. “Really? We’re friends visiting Madame Lucario. We’ll let you in first, though.”

    Julius nods, but seems hesitant to actually enter the tent. Just then, something happens that will change the course of our lives.

    Something white flashes across the sky. It’s incredibly bright, so it’s impossible to miss. However, that’s not all that happens. A split second later, everything goes dark.

    It looks like the middle of the night, but there is no moon. The stars are out, and theirs is the only light that shines. Not only that, but it gets incredibly cold. Fast.

    Suddenly, there is a roar like nothing I’ve ever heard, and Madame Lucario comes charging out of the tent, eyes filled with terror. She suddenly grabs the three of us, and ducks back into her tent. She deposits us on the floor, and lights a fire of aura in the center of the room. I note that her table is upside-down in front of a bookshelf.

    The aura fire brings forth warmth, and we all move closer to it. Madame Lucario looks like she’s seen a ghost.

    Julius is the first to speak.

    “What… What happened? Why did it get so cold all of a sudden? Where’s the sun?”

    Madame Lucario snaps out of her stupor. “I don’t know, child. Whatever it is, it isn’t natural. All I know is that I was listening to you three outside, and suddenly, all the natural light vanished. I felt the cold, and snapped. I’m sorry if I frightened you.”

    Suddenly, there is another flash, and the tent becomes much brighter. Kim pokes her head out of the tent, and turns back to us.

    “The sun’s back. It’s day again.

    Madame Lucario noticeably calms down, and regains her composure. She stands, and the aura fire winks out of existence. She strides over to Julius.

    “Were you here for something?”

    Julius suddenly becomes very nervous. He speaks softly, but we can hear him fairly well.

    “Um, are there any beginner’s rescue jobs?”

    Madame Lucario nods, and heads over to a bookshelf, and begins to shuffle them around. She pulls one out after a minute, and hands it to Julius. She turns to the two of us.

    “If it’s not too much to ask, could you two please go with him? Heath, you got lucky when you didn’t come across any trouble in the Mystery Dungeon outside town, it’s always a good idea to travel in groups.”

    Julius looks indignant, and I’m about to refuse. But there’s something about the way that Madame Lucario asks, and I can see the fear in her face. She’s acting calm, but she’s terrified for us. I nod, and so does Kim.

    Julius isn’t pleased, and immediately begins to complain. Kim, however, looks him in the eye. She steps over to him, and speaks in an authorative voice.

    “Look, if what happened with the sun happen again, you dragon-types will be the first to feel it, especially those who don’t know any fire-type techniques. If I’m along, I can warm our group, and Heath can protect the two of us.”

    I don’t feel like pointing out that I have no combat experience. Julius, however, seems convinced.

    “Alright, I’ll deal with a group. But don’t slow me down.”

    The little jerk. I only hope that he realizes that we’re the only ones who will help him when he’s up a creek.

    Madame Lucario bids us goodbye, and I realize as we leave that she didn’t charge us like she said she does to rescue teams. So, either there’s a system where your first mission is free, or she really was worried.

    Before leaving, we stop in Quest Plaza, and Kim buys supplies. She stops at the Kecleon market, and comes with two leather satchels. She hands Julius and I each one.

    “I stocked each one up with some essentials. Please don’t waste them, they cost me a small fortune.”

    I poke my head into mine. Inside are two or three apples, and a piece of square cloth. Sewn on are several pockets, each one labeled. The labels read “Sleep Seeds”, “Blast Seeds”, and “Reviver Seeds”. I pop the one labeled “Blast Seeds” open, and pull out one of many small, reddish seeds. I take a close look, and accidentally drop it. Upon contact with the ground, I’m amazed as a fantastic explosion lights up at my feet. It’s small, but it’s large and bright enough to send me toppling backwards. Kim catches me, and slaps me across the face.

    “Keep that up, and you’ll blow your entire bag apart! If a blast seed has too much of a shock applied to it, it explodes. If a whole bunch explodes at once, then your bag will be incinerated, and probably you along with it! Now, enough fooling around. Let’s get moving.”
    Last edited by pokenutter; 24th September 2010 at 10:34 PM.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

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  13. #13
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    Great writing, i like your style
    i told some friends about it and they are reading it too! ^.^



  14. #14
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    Looks like its going a different direction than the games. Plus some mystery. Wonder what that flying thing is... anyway, good job.
    3DS FC (Pokemon X): 1848-1667-7668
    Friend safari is Ice with Snorunt, Beartic, and Cloyster. Looking for Dragon safaris, safaris with Whirlipede or Espurr, and Y-exclusive Mega Stones.

    Shiny Chains (D/P): Ralts, Magnemite, Beldum
    Targets: Shinx
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  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skydra View Post
    Looks like its going a different direction than the games. Plus some mystery. Wonder what that flying thing is... anyway, good job.
    Thanks! The Object flying through the sky will be a major plot point, so I'll reveal it later.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

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  16. #16
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    The flying thing doesn't sound like a pokemon........a fakemon perhaps?

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resident evil View Post
    The flying thing doesn't sound like a pokemon........a fakemon perhaps?
    I don't actually use fakemon. It'll all be explained later.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
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  18. #18
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    About ten minutes later, we are on the road, and Julius is doing his best to ignore us. I get the idea that he doesn’t like the idea of traveling in a group. I turn to Kim, and voice a question that I’ve had for a few days now.

    “Hey, Kim? What exactly is a rescue team? I get the sense that they’re bands of Pokemon who are generally helpful, but what are they? Are they the police?”

    Kim shrugs. “They’re not the police, but Officer Magnezone usually has a few teams in his employ. In a nutshell, rescue teams take jobs from Pokemon who can’t perform some task. In that respect, they’re similar to mercenaries, and some have even adopted the mindset that ‘if it pays, it’ll pay to do it’. However, most teams are willing to do jobs because they help the needy. Whatever their motives, most rescue teams are seen as small-town heroes. Some go beyond that, and become world-renowned.”

    “Have you ever wanted to join one?”

    “No, and if Madame Lucario hadn’t been so concerned for this jerk’s safety, I would have declined her request. I’ve just never understood the appeal; I mean, what’s the point of chasing down an Oran Berry that some careless traveler dropped down a hole if there are things like murderers, kidnappers, and overall psychos between you and your common item? That’s how most teams start out, and there’s a period where that badge you carry is just for show. You have a very small chance of gaining any recognition, and if you do, there’s half a million other teams that are better than you. Even if you become the best, you are never guaranteed to hold that position for more than a week. I just can’t stand the idea of being in a perpetual rat race.”

    I nod, both understanding her argument, and at the same time, wondering what it would be like to have this kind of job. I remember something else.

    “Oh, and also? Madame Lucario mentioned Mystery Dungeons. What are they?”

    “A mystery dungeon is a place where space and time do not perfectly match up. Such an inconsistency is usually related to an event in the past where a lot of energy was used at once, such as a fight between two legendaries, although they may just crop up randomly. If someone is unaware that they’re in a Mystery Dungeon, it will continually shift when they’re not looking. You pulled me out of one when we first met.”

    “What were you doing down there? It seems like the sort of place that a rescue team would poke around.”

    “Well, that’s certainly true. I actually fell down the hole. I was exploring the area, and ended up stuck down there. I didn’t figure out that I was in a Mystery Dungeon until it had shuffled me around for an hour, and even then, it hadn’t spawned a staircase. I wandered around for another three hours before I saw you.”

    I nod, and explain my experience with that dungeon to her. She grins.

    “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

    Before she can continue, Julius abruptly stops and turns around.

    “We’re here.”

    He holds the piece of paper with the mission details, and reads.

    “Dense Marsh, Area 8. My friend Ampharos and I got separated, and he didn’t make it out. Can someone go in, and see if he’s all right? Sincerely, Octillery.”

    Kim sighs. “Okay, let’s do this.”

    She pushes past, and leads the way into the marsh. Julius grabs her arm, and pulls her back.

    “No, I don’t think so! I’m leading this expedition.”

    Kim twists out of his grasp, and turns to face him. “I’ve been in a Mystery Dungeon before. I know what to expect in there. If I lead, we’re guaranteed to survive.”

    “You fell into a Mystery Dungeon! I actually want to do this!”

    “Well, tough luck, short stuff. You don’t have the experience.”

    “What did you just call me?”

    As their argument degenerates into insults, I clutch my forehead. I can already tell how this particular adventure will go. Yet, there’s something else that’s bothering me. I know that while I’ll definitely get a headache from their fight, I won’t be the only one. They’re bound to attract attention, and if what Kim told me was right, Pokemon in a Mystery Dungeon are less than friendly. I know that there’s got to be something I can do to stop the fight without getting myself involved. Desperately, I reach into my bag to see if there’s anything in here that can stop the fight.

    Blast seeds. Not a good idea, given how low their flash point is, and their large blast radius. Sleep seeds. Not unless I want to drag them home. Reviver Seeds. What would I do with those? My flute…

    I pull my flute out, and hold it to my lips. Instantly, something lights up in my head.

    C, D, E…

    I slowly play the notes that come to mind, and more flash in my head. C, D, E, B, A, G, C, C, D, E, C, B, G, E, A, B, C…

    By this point, Julius and Kim are slowing down, and I realize how close to blows the two were. They pull apart, and wait for me to finish playing. At the end, Julius is gaping at me.

    “You know Oracion?”

    So that’s the name of the song. I shrug, and say, “It just sort of came to me.”

    Kim is flabbergasted as well. “What do you mean, it came to you? Could it be related to you be-“

    She breaks off, noting that our conversation isn’t private. I shrug, knowing that she was going to ask if it had anything to do with my being human. “I don’t know, Kim. The notes just came into my head, and I played them. I don’t know if it means anything. For all I know, it could just mean that I know what kind of music calms people down. Now, are you two going to decide who will lead the expedition, or do I have to drag the two of you home?”

    Julius and Kim look at each other, and immediately and in unison say to each other, “You can do it.”

    I facepalm, and forestall any further argument by groaning, and saying, “If you’re that indecisive, I’ll do it. Just no more arguing, for the love of Arceus.”

    They nod, and I lead the way into the marsh. It’s densely forested, so we find ourselves ducking and weaving through fallen trees. It’s honestly more of a swamp than a marsh.

    Before long, I begin to notice a change in the trees. They seem to be parting out into a pathway, something that hadn’t been occurring before. I then remember that that one Mystery Dungeon I stumbled into had done the exact same thing. A cave wouldn’t naturally have those kind of corridors, and neither would a swamp.

    I turn around to alert my teammates, and immediately groan. I noticed a moment too late. A pathway juts out behind me, and turns sharply to the left. We had been moving straight forward. I’ve been shuffled.

    I begin to poke around the area, now aware that I’m in a Mystery Dungeon. There doesn’t seem to be much in the area. There is a set of exits to the hall; to the north and then to the west. Then, there’s the southern end. I decide that backtracking would be pointless at this point, and move south, which was the direction I was heading in the first place. A left here, a right there, and I’m in a large room. In one corner, a small sack sits. In the other, a Pokemon is huddled, doing his best to look as small as possible.

    Ampharos.

    I move towards him, and he sees me. He immediately starts trying to scoot further into the corner, and I get a slightly better idea of what he’s been through. Long, raking scratches line his side, and I’m fairly certain that he has a broken rib. He’s desperate to avoid confrontation.

    Before I can come any closer that my one step, he cries out.

    “D-d-don’t come any closer! I’ve p-planted b-b-b-blast seeds in a radius around me! If y-you c-come any closer, b-boom!”

    I then notice the reddish-orange tint of the ground, and stop. I change tactics. I shout to him, “It’s okay, I’m with the rescue team that Octillery sent!”

    He stops shivering at the mention of his friend. He turns his head toward me, and I can see a downward slash over one of his eyes. The guy must have really had a rough time in here.

    “Octillery m-made it out?”

    I nod, and the look on his face is perhaps the scariest one that I’ll ever see- the look of happiness mixed with acceptance of a terrible fate.

    “Oh, thank Arceus! Thank you, friend, thank you…”

    “What’s wrong? How injured are you?”

    “I can’t walk. Even if I could, how could I get to you, or even vice-versa? Those blast seeds would kill one of us. Get out while you can, friend. This is no place to be alone.”

    “I’m not alone- I came here with some friends. I just got shuffled around a bit. They’ll be here eventually. Just give them some time.”

    Before the sentence even has time to click with him, someone dashes out of a nearby corridor. Kim crashes into me, followed by Julius. I land close enough to the border of orange to make Ampharos gasp in terror. I push them off of me, and Kim angrily slaps me.

    “Where were you?”

    Before I can answer, Julius clasps both our shoulders.

    “Less talk, more run!”

    He’s about to take off in the direction of the exit I came from, but Ampharos desperately wails, “D-don’t leave me! H-he’ll c-c-c-come back!”

    It’s enough to stop Julius in his tracks. He turns, and then looks at me approvingly.

    “Oh, good, you found Ampharos. Maybe we can rescue him when we come back this way.”

    He turns, and is about to start running again, when I tap his shoulder.

    “Julius? What did you and Kim do?”

    “What?”

    “When you came in here, you said ‘Less talk, more run.’ Even now, you want to abandon the one you’re supposed to be rescuing. Now ,.what did you do?

    Before he can answer, a sweet smell begins to permeate through the area. I can’t identify it, but it seems to cause Ampharos to have a nervous breakdown.

    He begins to shudder for a minute, and begins trying to huddle into his corner again. He begins to charge what looks like a desperate electric attack. He utters a few inaudible words, and then shrieks, “He’s back! He’s back!”

    A large explosion sounds, and I grab Julius and Kim, and drag them to the opposite corner of the room. He has launched an attack, which I identify as Shock Wave. This is perhaps the stupidest thing he could have done, as he sets off his network of blast seeds. I can’t see if he is engulfed by his own explosion, but I can tell that it won’t hit us. However, his Shock Wave will inevitably, and soon strikes.

    I experience pain like nothing that I knew was possible. My entire body is humming with energy determined to rip my soul from my body. Yet, even amid the pain, something is flashing to the surface.

    “-Temporal Tower-“

    “-set in motion-“

    “memory loss-“

    “when I turn up-“

    KABOOM!

    It’s all a garbled mess. I can’t make heads or tails of it. All I know is that when I’m finally aware of my surroundings again, I’m surrounded by darkness.

    I lift my head, and examine the area around me. I can’t tell where I am, or anything about the surrounding area, except that it’s very small. I then feel a searing pain around my body. The ground feels wet, and whatever the liquid is, it’s what’s causing the pain.

    I get to my feet, and do an awkward dance to keep the pain as minimal as possible. I check to see if my bag is still slung over my shoulder. It is, so I poke around inside. I grasp what I hope is a blast or sleep seed, and sling it into the back of the area.

    It ignites in a brilliant flash, and the room flies apart. I am flung out back into a familiar area. It’s the room where Ampharos is. Or was. Where is he?

    My train of thought derails as Julius grabs me, and runs. I’m being dragged behind him, and can now see what exactly Ampharos was so terrified of.

    A large Pokemon with a flat, green head is chasing us. Vines hang nightmarishly below it, and two leaves stick out, passing for arms. I notice a gap near the back of the mouth, and guess that’s where my blast seed went off.

    Carnivine.

    It gives a feral-sounding roar, and begins to chase after us, hovering as it comes. It’s a lot faster than we are. I grab for my bag, and notice that parts of it are missing, and a green liquid drips off of it.

    Acid. I was in the thing’s mouth, and my bag got dissolved. I really didn’t want to see how the bottom of my feet or my back looked.

    I pull out a sleep seed, and toss it. The white seed flies through the air, and connects with the wall next to it. I hear Kim shouting something, but I can’t make it out. I pull out another, and toss it. This one hits home, and the Carnivine immediately drops off. It doesn’t help that it already had forward momentum.

    Julius picks up speed, and picks me up over his head. I guess the guy’s a lot stronger than he looks. The Carnivine crashes into the ground, and slides towards us. I toss a blast seed, and this seems to do the trick. The blast has enough force behind it to completely stop Carnivine’s movement.

    Julius makes a hard right, and puts me down. Kim circles from in front of him, and has a look at me. I’m in pain, but I’m not giving into it.

    “On your stomach. Let me see the damage.”

    I roll over, and Kim takes a look. She winces, and I know that the news isn’t good.

    “Alright, we need to get you medical attention. Just hold still, Heath.”

    “Wait! What about Ampharos?”

    “It’s okay, we got him safely home. Unfortunately, that was what got you eaten. Sorry about that.”

    I’m about to ask if she realizes how weird “Sorry we got you eaten” sounds, when I realize something.

    “Wait. How’d you get him home in between the time Shock Wave went off and my blasting my way out of Carnivine’s mouth?”

    Kim pulls a rescue team badge out of Julius’s bag.

    “Like this.”

    A light shines out of it, and suddenly, I’m not there anymore. I’m… elsewhere. It’s a very bright place… No, it’s just Quest Plaza, and I’m staring into the sun.

    I shade my eyes, and try to pick myself up. An unfamiliar voice speaks next to me.

    “No, don’t do that. Here’ I’ll get a stretcher.”

    The voice sounds oddly motherly, and for some reason, I obey. Then, the last remmanants of an adrenaline rush leave my body, and I just want to rest…

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
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  19. #19
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    About ten minutes later, we are on the road, and Julius is doing his best to ignore us. I get the idea that he doesn’t like the idea of traveling in a group. I turn to Kim, and voice a question that I’ve had for a few days now.

    “Hey, Kim? What exactly is a rescue team? I get the sense that they’re bands of Pokemon who are generally helpful, but what are they? Are they the police?”

    Kim shrugs. “They’re not the police, but Officer Magnezone usually has a few teams in his employ. In a nutshell, rescue teams take jobs from Pokemon who can’t perform some task. In that respect, they’re similar to mercenaries, and some have even adopted the mindset that ‘if it pays, it’ll pay to do it’. However, most teams are willing to do jobs because they help the needy. Whatever their motives, most rescue teams are seen as small-town heroes. Some go beyond that, and become world-renowned.”

    “Have you ever wanted to join one?”

    “No, and if Madame Lucario hadn’t been so concerned for this jerk’s safety, I would have declined her request. I’ve just never understood the appeal; I mean, what’s the point of chasing down an Oran Berry that some careless traveler dropped down a hole if there are things like murderers, kidnappers, and overall psychos between you and your common item? That’s how most teams start out, and there’s a period where that badge you carry is just for show. You have a very small chance of gaining any recognition, and if you do, there’s half a million other teams that are better than you. Even if you become the best, you are never guaranteed to hold that position for more than a week. I just can’t stand the idea of being in a perpetual rat race.”

    I nod, both understanding her argument, and at the same time, wondering what it would be like to have this kind of job. I remember something else.

    “Oh, and also? Madame Lucario mentioned Mystery Dungeons. What are they?”

    “A mystery dungeon is a place where space and time do not perfectly match up. Such an inconsistency is usually related to an event in the past where a lot of energy was used at once, such as a fight between two legendaries, although they may just crop up randomly. If someone is unaware that they’re in a Mystery Dungeon, it will continually shift when they’re not looking. You pulled me out of one when we first met.”

    “What were you doing down there? It seems like the sort of place that a rescue team would poke around.”

    “Well, that’s certainly true. I actually fell down the hole. I was exploring the area, and ended up stuck down there. I didn’t figure out that I was in a Mystery Dungeon until it had shuffled me around for an hour, and even then, it hadn’t spawned a staircase. I wandered around for another three hours before I saw you.”

    I nod, and explain my experience with that dungeon to her. She grins.

    “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

    Before she can continue, Julius abruptly stops and turns around.

    “We’re here.”

    He holds the piece of paper with the mission details, and reads.

    “Dense Marsh, Area 8. My friend Ampharos and I got separated, and he didn’t make it out. Can someone go in, and see if he’s all right? Sincerely, Octillery.”

    Kim sighs. “Okay, let’s do this.”

    She pushes past, and leads the way into the marsh. Julius grabs her arm, and pulls her back.

    “No, I don’t think so! I’m leading this expedition.”

    Kim twists out of his grasp, and turns to face him. “I’ve been in a Mystery Dungeon before. I know what to expect in there. If I lead, we’re guaranteed to survive.”

    “You fell into a Mystery Dungeon! I actually want to do this!”

    “Well, tough luck, short stuff. You don’t have the experience.”

    “What did you just call me?”

    As their argument degenerates into insults, I clutch my forehead. I can already tell how this particular adventure will go. Yet, there’s something else that’s bothering me. I know that while I’ll definitely get a headache from their fight, I won’t be the only one. They’re bound to attract attention, and if what Kim told me was right, Pokemon in a Mystery Dungeon are less than friendly. I know that there’s got to be something I can do to stop the fight without getting myself involved. Desperately, I reach into my bag to see if there’s anything in here that can stop the fight.

    Blast seeds. Not a good idea, given how low their flash point is, and their large blast radius. Sleep seeds. Not unless I want to drag them home. Reviver Seeds. What would I do with those? My flute…

    I pull my flute out, and hold it to my lips. Instantly, something lights up in my head.

    C, D, E…

    I slowly play the notes that come to mind, and more flash in my head. C, D, E, B, A, G, C, C, D, E, C, B, G, E, A, B, C…

    By this point, Julius and Kim are slowing down, and I realize how close to blows the two were. They pull apart, and wait for me to finish playing. At the end, Julius is gaping at me.

    “You know Oracion?”

    So that’s the name of the song. I shrug, and say, “It just sort of came to me.”

    Kim is flabbergasted as well. “What do you mean, it came to you? Could it be related to you be-“

    She breaks off, noting that our conversation isn’t private. I shrug, knowing that she was going to ask if it had anything to do with my being human. “I don’t know, Kim. The notes just came into my head, and I played them. I don’t know if it means anything. For all I know, it could just mean that I know what kind of music calms people down. Now, are you two going to decide who will lead the expedition, or do I have to drag the two of you home?”

    Julius and Kim look at each other, and immediately and in unison say to each other, “You can do it.”

    I facepalm, and forestall any further argument by groaning, and saying, “If you’re that indecisive, I’ll do it. Just no more arguing, for the love of Arceus.”

    They nod, and I lead the way into the marsh. It’s densely forested, so we find ourselves ducking and weaving through fallen trees. It’s honestly more of a swamp than a marsh.

    Before long, I begin to notice a change in the trees. They seem to be parting out into a pathway, something that hadn’t been occurring before. I then remember that that one Mystery Dungeon I stumbled into had done the exact same thing. A cave wouldn’t naturally have those kind of corridors, and neither would a swamp.

    I turn around to alert my teammates, and immediately groan. I noticed a moment too late. A pathway juts out behind me, and turns sharply to the left. We had been moving straight forward. I’ve been shuffled.

    I begin to poke around the area, now aware that I’m in a Mystery Dungeon. There doesn’t seem to be much in the area. There is a set of exits to the hall; to the north and then to the west. Then, there’s the southern end. I decide that backtracking would be pointless at this point, and move south, which was the direction I was heading in the first place. A left here, a right there, and I’m in a large room. In one corner, a small sack sits. In the other, a Pokemon is huddled, doing his best to look as small as possible.

    Ampharos.

    I move towards him, and he sees me. He immediately starts trying to scoot further into the corner, and I get a slightly better idea of what he’s been through. Long, raking scratches line his side, and I’m fairly certain that he has a broken rib. He’s desperate to avoid confrontation.

    Before I can come any closer that my one step, he cries out.

    “D-d-don’t come any closer! I’ve p-planted b-b-b-blast seeds in a radius around me! If y-you c-come any closer, b-boom!”

    I then notice the reddish-orange tint of the ground, and stop. I change tactics. I shout to him, “It’s okay, I’m with the rescue team that Octillery sent!”

    He stops shivering at the mention of his friend. He turns his head toward me, and I can see a downward slash over one of his eyes. The guy must have really had a rough time in here.

    “Octillery m-made it out?”

    I nod, and the look on his face is perhaps the scariest one that I’ll ever see- the look of happiness mixed with acceptance of a terrible fate.

    “Oh, thank Arceus! Thank you, friend, thank you…”

    “What’s wrong? How injured are you?”

    “I can’t walk. Even if I could, how could I get to you, or even vice-versa? Those blast seeds would kill one of us. Get out while you can, friend. This is no place to be alone.”

    “I’m not alone- I came here with some friends. I just got shuffled around a bit. They’ll be here eventually. Just give them some time.”

    Before the sentence even has time to click with him, someone dashes out of a nearby corridor. Kim crashes into me, followed by Julius. I land close enough to the border of orange to make Ampharos gasp in terror. I push them off of me, and Kim angrily slaps me.

    “Where were you?”

    Before I can answer, Julius clasps both our shoulders.

    “Less talk, more run!”

    He’s about to take off in the direction of the exit I came from, but Ampharos desperately wails, “D-don’t leave me! H-he’ll c-c-c-come back!”

    It’s enough to stop Julius in his tracks. He turns, and then looks at me approvingly.

    “Oh, good, you found Ampharos. Maybe we can rescue him when we come back this way.”

    He turns, and is about to start running again, when I tap his shoulder.

    “Julius? What did you and Kim do?”

    “What?”

    “When you came in here, you said ‘Less talk, more run.’ Even now, you want to abandon the one you’re supposed to be rescuing. Now ,.what did you do?

    Before he can answer, a sweet smell begins to permeate through the area. I can’t identify it, but it seems to cause Ampharos to have a nervous breakdown.

    He begins to shudder for a minute, and begins trying to huddle into his corner again. He begins to charge what looks like a desperate electric attack. He utters a few inaudible words, and then shrieks, “He’s back! He’s back!”

    A large explosion sounds, and I grab Julius and Kim, and drag them to the opposite corner of the room. He has launched an attack, which I identify as Shock Wave. This is perhaps the stupidest thing he could have done, as he sets off his network of blast seeds. I can’t see if he is engulfed by his own explosion, but I can tell that it won’t hit us. However, his Shock Wave will inevitably, and soon strikes.

    I experience pain like nothing that I knew was possible. My entire body is humming with energy determined to rip my soul from my body. Yet, even amid the pain, something is flashing to the surface.

    “-Temporal Tower-“

    “-set in motion-“

    “memory loss-“

    “when I turn up-“

    KABOOM!

    It’s all a garbled mess. I can’t make heads or tails of it. All I know is that when I’m finally aware of my surroundings again, I’m surrounded by darkness.

    I lift my head, and examine the area around me. I can’t tell where I am, or anything about the surrounding area, except that it’s very small. I then feel a searing pain around my body. The ground feels wet, and whatever the liquid is, it’s what’s causing the pain.

    I get to my feet, and do an awkward dance to keep the pain as minimal as possible. I check to see if my bag is still slung over my shoulder. It is, so I poke around inside. I grasp what I hope is a blast or sleep seed, and sling it into the back of the area.

    It ignites in a brilliant flash, and the room flies apart. I am flung out back into a familiar area. It’s the room where Ampharos is. Or was. Where is he?

    My train of thought derails as Julius grabs me, and runs. I’m being dragged behind him, and can now see what exactly Ampharos was so terrified of.

    A large Pokemon with a flat, green head is chasing us. Vines hang nightmarishly below it, and two leaves stick out, passing for arms. I notice a gap near the back of the mouth, and guess that’s where my blast seed went off.

    Carnivine.

    It gives a feral-sounding roar, and begins to chase after us, hovering as it comes. It’s a lot faster than we are. I grab for my bag, and notice that parts of it are missing, and a green liquid drips off of it.

    Acid. I was in the thing’s mouth, and my bag got dissolved. I really didn’t want to see how the bottom of my feet or my back looked.

    I pull out a sleep seed, and toss it. The white seed flies through the air, and connects with the wall next to it. I hear Kim shouting something, but I can’t make it out. I pull out another, and toss it. This one hits home, and the Carnivine immediately drops off. It doesn’t help that it already had forward momentum.

    Julius picks up speed, and picks me up over his head. I guess the guy’s a lot stronger than he looks. The Carnivine crashes into the ground, and slides towards us. I toss a blast seed, and this seems to do the trick. The blast has enough force behind it to completely stop Carnivine’s movement.

    Julius makes a hard right, and puts me down. Kim circles from in front of him, and has a look at me. I’m in pain, but I’m not giving into it.

    “On your stomach. Let me see the damage.”

    I roll over, and Kim takes a look. She winces, and I know that the news isn’t good.

    “Alright, we need to get you medical attention. Just hold still, Heath.”

    “Wait! What about Ampharos?”

    “It’s okay, we got him safely home. Unfortunately, that was what got you eaten. Sorry about that.”

    I’m about to ask if she realizes how weird “Sorry we got you eaten” sounds, when I realize something.

    “Wait. How’d you get him home in between the time Shock Wave went off and my blasting my way out of Carnivine’s mouth?”

    Kim pulls a rescue team badge out of Julius’s bag.

    “Like this.”

    A light shines out of it, and suddenly, I’m not there anymore. I’m… elsewhere. It’s a very bright place… No, it’s just Quest Plaza, and I’m staring into the sun.

    I shade my eyes, and try to pick myself up. An unfamiliar voice speaks next to me.

    “No, don’t do that. Here’ I’ll get a stretcher.”

    The voice sounds oddly motherly, and for some reason, I obey. Then, the last remmanants of an adrenaline rush leave my body, and I just want to rest…

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
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  20. #20
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    Whoo, first post! This chapter in particular left a little bit of a odd sensation at the end there.

    Note: you double posted the chapter.

  21. #21

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    I say it's going pretty well so far. I can't tell if it's based off of PMD1 or PMD2, but from them mention of temporal tower, I'll assume it's PMD2.
    HAIL OR ELSE!

  22. #22

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    I say it's going pretty well so far. I can't tell if it's based off of PMD1 or PMD2, but from them mention of temporal tower, I'll assume it's PMD2.
    HAIL OR ELSE!

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seedotdude View Post
    I say it's going pretty well so far. I can't tell if it's based off of PMD1 or PMD2, but from them mention of temporal tower, I'll assume it's PMD2.
    It's actually neither; it borrows more from PMD 2, but it's got elements of both.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
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    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  24. #24
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    The next two pages are blank
    Kim’s note: This is unsurprising, as he was unconscious those days.

    ???
    Kim’s note: The actual date was September 16th.

    I awaken surrounded by darkness.

    It’s cold, too, but I can ignore that for now. I have more important things to think about.

    Temporal Tower… Why does the phrase ring a bell? And why don’t I know what it is?

    It’s probably not common human knowledge. First opportunity I get, I should look into it…

    Before I can think any further, a sudden beam of light strikes me. There’s... a window here. Outside, it is day. Around 2:00 in the afternoon, as far as I can tell. Did I pass out again?

    No… I see a bright light flying off into the distance. The sun had vanished again. I had just caught the tail end of it.

    I take stock of my surroundings. I’m in a medium-sized room, with furniture here and there. Another bed sits parallel to mine. I have a look, and notice Ampharos lying on his stomach, reading what looks like a magazine. He notices that I’m awake, and smiles.

    “Hey. Thanks for the save back in the dungeon. You and your team are pretty impressive.”

    Wow. His voice sounds completely different from… however long it’s been since our delve. It’s not just his voice, either. He looks almost totally healed; his left eye, however, is still scarred shut.

    “Um, thanks. So, are you going to tell me what happened in there?”

    His face twists into uncertainty, and then, he shrugs.

    “I’d rather not talk about it. Anyway, what’s your team’s name? I know a few Pokemon who could use your help.”

    Ooh… He couldn’t have brought up a more awkward subject.

    “I’m not sure if we’re going to remain a rescue team. Initially, Kim and I were only with Julius because a close friend requested it. It was right after the sun vanished. So, I’m not sure if we actually count as a rescue team.”

    “It’s a shame, then. You had some real synergy going, based on what I heard. Still, you can never count destiny out of your future plans. If she thinks you ought to follow a specific road, then nothing you can say will stop it.”

    Before I can try to change the subject, a voice comes from outside.

    “Hello, Nurse Blissey. I’m here to see Heath.”

    I recognize the voice, although it takes me a moment to place it. The voice itself is beautiful, like silk. But, in every word, an icy dagger lurks beneath the pristine silk sheath.

    Jaroda, from the bank, slithers into the room. Tall, imposing, and regal, the very air around him seems to be a few degrees cooler.

    “Heath. A pleasure to see you again.”

    I am immediately transfixed in his eyes, and am instantly aware of how prey feels mere seconds before being eaten. When I met him at the bank, I got the sense that he was dangerous in some way. Now more than ever, I feel fear in his presence, but I don’t know why. He is just that intimidating.

    He slithers to the side of my bed, and speaks again.

    “Julius opened an account in your name yesterday. Your balance is 66 Poke- one-third of the reward money from your delve. Kim wouldn’t accept hers, so he sent it to her account as an anonymous donation.”

    He makes a motion, which I assume to be a shrug.

    “I don’t think she likes him very much. It’s a shame; your group seems quite competent. And to think, I was considering asking you to run an errand for me.”

    He’s not guilting me into this. I shrug as much as I can, given that I’m still transfixed. He’s about to continue, but suddenly leans down next to me.

    “And it’s such a shame that I know your secret, and can divulge it to everyone here at my leisure.”

    My breath catches in my throat. Not able to turn my head out of fear, I simply whisper, “You know I’m human?”

    A look of triumph spreads across his face. “No, but it’ll be a good bit of collateral, won’t it? You’re all so easy to manipulate when you’re transfixed. Now, will you do the job, or not?”

    Unable to say no at this point, I nod, groaning to myself. I just spilled the beans in the least dignified way possible. I’m just lucky that Ampharos didn’t hear; he seems like a bit of a chatterbox.

    “Good. I’ll see you tomorrow, and give you the details.”

    Jaroda smiles again, and slithers out. Curse that snake.

    Wonderful. Now, I have to explain to Kim that I was manipulated by a banker into accepting a job for a team that technically didn’t exist.

    Wow. Speak of the devil.

    Kim pokes her head into the room, obviously having recently passed by Jaroda. Her face is a bit paler, and her eyes appear a tad dilated.

    “Um, hey, Heath. I see you’re finally awake.”

    She’s smiling, so she obviously didn’t hear our little exchange a moment ago. Wonderful timing, Jaroda.

    She walks over to the side of the bed.

    “Nurse Blissey says that you should be about finished healing some time before dinner. After that, we can bring you home. And now that Julius has himself a few jobs, we can forget about the rescue team thing.”

    “Um, yeah, about that…”

    She pauses, and then facepalms.

    “What did Jaroda rope you into doing?”

    Before I can wonder how she knew Jaroda had hired us, Ampharos jumps in.

    “He was incredibly nonspecific.”

    I round on him.

    “Where were you when I was signing my life away?”

    “Well, beyond the fact that I was just as paralyzed as you were, I couldn’t hear what you were saying. Something about a secret. Anyway, you don’t like it this time, feel free to stop.”

    So now I had a date with “destiny.” I just hoped that she was an accepting woman.

    Kim, meanwhile, seems not to be too thrilled with this. She turns towards the door, and begins to walk out.

    “Where are you going?”

    “To get us out of this. Even if I wanted to do this, Julius and I had an argument immediately after we got back. Certain words were exchanged, and we’ve been avoiding each other ever since.”

    I wonder what exactly they said to each other. Kim leaves, and a few minutes later, Julius pos his head in. He scans the room, and notices me.

    “Hey, you’re awake! How’ve you been?”

    I shrug. “A lot of weird stuff’s happened in the last 20 minutes. How are you?”

    “Meh, I’ve been better. Sorry about the acid on your back.”

    I shrug. “It’s nothing. Anyway, I heard about the argument that you had with Kim.”

    He groans. “Oh, yeah, listen, can we talk about that some other time? I’ve been avoiding thinking about her. She always seems to pop up when you least expect her.”

    As if on cue, Kim staggers back into the room. She’s as pale as a sheet. She doesn’t even bother to look up as she speaks.

    “We’re doing the job.”

    That’s all she says as she slides over to the bed, barely coordinated enough to hop up on the side. She seems to snap out of it the moment she sees Julius.

    “What are you doing here?”

    He seems taken aback by her mood swing. He takes a second to react, and then does his best to look important.

    “I’m visiting my injured friend in the hospital!”

    His tone changes a little at the next sentence.

    “What’s this about a job? Can it be that the mighty Kim isn’t above the level of common rescue teams?”

    “It’s not like that! Heath got us- and I mean the three of us- wrapped up in another job! I believe I made my opinions on the subject known to you the last time we spoke!”

    “Obviously you didn’t do anything to stop the job from going down..”

    “Have you ever met Jaroda? Looked into his eyes? And I swear to Arceus, the number of campfire stories I’ve heard about him…”

    Before this argument can be taken any further, Ampharos finally does something helpful. He slides of his bed, limping slightly as he does so. He gets in between the two of them, and eyes Kim.

    “Kim. Life throws you curve balls sometimes. Just because you don’t anticipate them, or even particularly want them, doesn’t mean that you need to complain about everything. Give this another shot, for Arceus’s sakes. And don’t pick on Julius; I heard your argument, and you started it.”

    He turns to Julius. “Now Julius, I know that you’re much younger than Kim and Heath, but if you want to be part of a team of any sort, you need to learn that everyone’s opinion matters. Stop being so asinine; if you want to grow up enough to be part of a rescue team, then do so. Just remember that there’s emotional maturity that comes along with the package.

    He finishes, and then returns to his bed. This is the guy that we picked up in the mystery dungeon? The one that was in paranoid hysterics?

    Before he lies down, he turns to me. “Oh, and Heath? I’d prefer it if you kept to yourself what I was like in that dungeon. I have a reputation to keep. Also? Don’t let people intimidate you. I get that you’re new around here, but even Jaroda can be friendly over time. At least, I think that Jaroda can be friendly.”

    There is absolute silence for a few seconds, and then Julius turns to Kim.

    “He’s right, you know. Handshake?”

    Kim looks tempted to come back with a snappy retort, but decides against it. She takes his hand, and then shakes it.

    The rest of the day passes relatively quickly. In between visits from Nurse Blissey and Julius teaching me to play Reversi, not much occurs. At the end of the day, Julius is spared another devastating loss by the timely arrival of Nurse Blissey, announcing that it’s time for me to leave. As I get up, I step over to Ampharos’s bedside.

    “Will you be okay?”

    “Yeah, I’ll be good. When I’m finally out of here, I’ll pay you a visit, okay? Maybe by then I’ll feel strong enough to go an a delve or two with you guys, assuming you’re still together.”

    With that, I leave. Kim leads me back to her house, and I ponder the day’s events. What now? If we enjoy the mission, who knows? If this becomes a permanent thing, how will Kim react? What about Julius if it doesn’t? Whose side will I be dragged to in the event that one is dissatisfied with the outcome?

    I just don’t know.
    Last edited by pokenutter; 16th October 2010 at 2:54 AM.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
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    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  25. #25
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    First post here.

    Your sense of direction of a MD series is very different than the ones I've read so far. First time seeing a writing style like yours too. Don't take me literal though as I still need a lot of reading to be catching up.

    You got an interesting plot going on so far. It was a bit vague in the first journal entries but it still works on my end. Still, would like some kind of prologue of some sort, but then again this a journal, they always remain a mystery.

    Anyways, keep it up.
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