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Thread: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal

  1. #51
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    Brrrr. I hate the cold. The thick foliage surrounding Sylvan is incredible at blocking light, but not so much cold.

    We’re on the outskirts of town, and night has fallen. Melchior is due to arrive any minute now, but for now, we’re just sitting around, twiddling our thumbs. I’m standing close to the edge and can make out a light source beyond the leaves.

    I push my way through. The floor sticks out about ten feet past the edge of the dome, so it isn’t a problem to stand outside.

    Off in the distance is a pair of specks of light. One, which is a bit closer than the other, looks like a city. The other one is a bit farther, and I can’t tell what it is. I’m about to head back in, when Kim pushes her way through as well. She strides over and stands next to me.

    “You look cold.”

    “Yeah, a little bit. I can deal, though. What’s that light off in the distance? I assume the closer one’s Nexus.”

    “That’s right. The far-off one is Geal Tower. It’s a beacon of hope and light through even the darkest of times. The tower has an entrance, but no one has ever explored its entirety. It’s occasionally used for religious festivals. It has a counterpart somewhere to the South called the Dubh Tower, which is considered an evil place that shrouds the surrounding area in darkness.”

    “Interesting. So, what’s in Nexus?”

    “Well, there’s a port, a guild for rescue teams who feel the need to belong, and the biggest library on the continent.”

    “Hmm.”

    We sit for a few more minutes before Julius pokes his head out to alert us that Melchior has arrived. We follow him back out, and Melchior stands, eargerly waiting for us.

    I march forward, and hand him the letter. He is about to take it when his eyes suddenly narrow. He pulls his hand back.

    “You aren’t normal.”

    His fist begins to glow, and a moment later, I feel I’ve been hit with a bag of bricks. I go flying into a wall, and feel something break. I cry out, and my vision whites over.

    I squeeze my eyes shut. I can’t move. I don’t know what I’ve broken, but even breathing is painful now. Yet, even amidst all the pain, I still hear something.

    “-you cannot catch me!”

    “-darkness another time-“

    “-time with just one-“

    “GRAVE PRICE FOR EXPANDING THE DISTORTION-“

    None of it makes any sense. I don’t know what’s going on.

    I open my eyes again, and am shocked to see Kim standing over me, back turned. Her arms are held out to the sides. I see Melchior step into view, right over her. I immediately understand what she’s trying to do. I manage to wheeze out… something. I pray she hears a plea to get out of the way.

    No luck. Melchior hovers over her, not sure what to do. She shouts, “Stop! What are you doing?”

    “Let me pass, child. Your friend is a walking, breathing rip in the fabric of space. I am sworn into the service of Palkia, which means I must destroy any such anomalies.”

    Everyone is silent for a few seconds. I squeeze my eyes shut, and wheeze out as loudly as I can, “I’m… a… hu… man…”

    The look on Melchior’s face would probably be a bit funnier if I wasn’t his target or in a monstrous amount of pain.

    “What did you say?”

    I don’t have the energy to repeat myself. Kim, however, manages to pick up on this.

    “Sir, he’s human. We don’t know how or why, but he is. He doesn’t remember anything, not even his name.”

    Melchior takes a moment to digest this. He backs down, and slowly makes his way around Kim, heading straight towards me. He leans down next to me.

    “Let’s see… A broken arm, a broken leg, and two broken ribs…”

    He looks at my face.

    “I’m terribly sorry about this. In six hundred years, The Entity has not called on a human. It’s only natural you’d cause some sort of special distortion.”

    I’m in too much pain to talk right now. Luckily for me, Kim asks the obvious question.

    “The Entity? What’s that?”

    “The Entity is a being that is sort of like Arceus’s right hand-man. It works behind the scenes for the most part, but has directly intervened in times of oncoming crisis. Its most common form of intervention is setting up a sequence of events that lead to a human becoming a Pokemon. Its reasons for doing this are unknown, but it always works out. Usually, when this sort of crisis occurs, a human also rises to become a great hero, but this rarely impacts us on this side of the world.”

    I try to nod, but I’m in too much pain. I close my eyes for a moment to digest what he said

    Kim’s Note: The journal abruptly cuts off here, probably because he fell unconscious. It picks up eventually, but not for another two months. I don’t know why it doesn’t continue until then, because I visited Heath regularly over those months, and he was very much awake. So, I will try to summarize what happened in those two months.

    Within five minutes of Heath’s injuries, he was brought into a hospital. Nurse Blissey told us he’d survive, but he’d be out of commission for a few weeks. With that understanding, we decided to look for a place to stay the night.

    Melchior came to us in the morning, with a reply to Jaroda’s letter, and he told us that he would pay for Heath’s hospital bill. We struck home within minutes.

    Jaroda was waiting for us when we returned. We got paid, and Julius and I parted ways.

    Nothing noteworthy occurred for the next couple days. I was in the market, trying to buy some apples for Heath and I to enjoy, when who should I run into but Julius. Who, by the way, was in the process of telling everyone he knew about who and what Heath was.

    So, everybody knew (except for Raichu, who he hadn’t gotten around to telling yet). Among the more sympathetic were The Kecleons (for some reason) and Kangaskhan. The others really didn’t care one way or the other. So, I guess Heath got out of that one okay. Julius wasn’t pleased.

    A few weeks later, I was visiting Madame Lucario, and she brought up the topic of Julius. She wasn’t yet aware that the team had split up. When I told her the story, her eyes narrowed at the mention of Jaroda’s name. I remember her standing up, and stating that he wasn’t to be trusted, and that she knew this personally.

    I remember asking her why, and she seemed nostalgic for a moment. I remember her next words fairly clearly.

    “Well, we used to know each other very well. We traveled a lot together and… You know what? Forget it. We were both members of a rescue team at one point. The Light Brigade, it was called. The group stayed together until Jaroda…”

    “Yes?”

    “It’s not something you need to know. I’ve told you enough; no sense burdening you with that.”

    Heath was shocked when he heard that. He showed some curiosity about what Jaroda had done, but neither of us had any starting points on discovering this.

    Time passed, and Heath recovered. By the time the next entry began, Heath had only been home for four days. He had been doing well, and now a spanner was in the works.

    Still, I’d say it worked out for the better.
    Last edited by pokenutter; 20th December 2010 at 7:51 PM.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
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  2. #52
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    Review:

    A few weeks later, I was visiting Madame Lucario, and she brought up the topic of Julius. She wasn’t yet aware that the team had split up. When I told her the story, her eyes narrowed at the mention of Jaroda’s name. I remember her standing up, and stating that he wasn’t to be trusted, and that she knew this personally.
    Something that I noticed.

    Some good plot-related material, makes up for the last one, overall a pretty solid chapter. I give this chapter a 5 out of 5, I rather enjoyed this one.

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resident evil View Post
    Review:



    Something that I noticed.

    Some good plot-related material, makes up for the last one, overall a pretty solid chapter. I give this chapter a 5 out of 5, I rather enjoyed this one.
    Thanks for pointing that out; it's been fixed. Also, thanks for the review!

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
    http://askredemption.tumblr.com/
    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  4. #54
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    November 21st

    “-take me to the future…or the past-“

    “-ends in my ultimate victory!”

    Gasp!

    Well, that was new. My flashes of dialogue have never interrupted my dreams before.

    I pull myself out of bed, and plod into the kitchen, still a bit groggy. I poke my head out of a window, and muse at how quiet it’s been lately. Ever since Julius and Kim returned to Quest Plaza, they’ve had very little contact. As such, Kim and I haven’t been hired out for adventures. I know that she has no interest in being part of a rescue team, but still…

    But, she isn’t interested, and I can’t defend myself properly on missions. So, there goes that dream.

    …Or maybe not…

    I take a moment to rummage around, and locate a sheet of paper. I scribble a quick note out, toss on a scarf, and head out the door.

    ***

    It looks like it’s been a slow day at the dojo. My evidence? Zoroark is seated in the booth outside, almost asleep. He slowly raises his head as he sees me approach.

    “Hello. Zoroark’s Dojo, a place for training on slow days. How can I help?”

    His lack of enthusiasm is evident. “Hey. Look, I know I’m not on a rescue team anymore-“

    “Yeah. I know. Look, Heath. If you need a shoulder to lean on, Raichu’ll listen to your every complaint. This here, however, is a place of business. If you have none, I suggest you leave.”

    “Actually, I should have taken this trip a few months ago. I have some dungeoneering experience, but I’ve already been on one mission where I couldn’t use items. I figure that if someone could teach me how to use some moves-“

    He’s already moved to the door on the side, and quickly unlocks it. He pokes his head out.

    “Now, that’s what I’m talking about! Finally, something to do! Come on in!”

    I step into the dojo. There’s a flight of stairs immediately to the right, and a fairly sizeable living room occupying the building’s main area. Fine furniture lines the sides of the room, and several antiques sit on shelves near the top of the room.

    Zoroark is busy closing up his window, and putting up a small “Closed” sign. He finally pulls himself together, and motions for me to follow him down the stairs. I follow slowly; these stairs are made for someone of human size.

    It could just be that I’m taking the stairs slowly, but the climb down seems to take forever. We eventually make it to the bottom; a huge room with basically nothing in it, save for a bench along the wall. Another doorway lies at the other end of the room.

    Zoroark, motions toward the bench, and I sit down. He nods, and steps back up the stairs for a minute, before coming back with a small pouch. He sits down next to me, and pulls the pouch open.

    “Okay, any idea what your experience level is?”

    “Experience level? What’s that?”

    “It’s a system you humans came up with to measure a Pokemon’s battle strength. Most Pokemon don’t know theirs, so I don’t usually ask, but I figured you might know yours…”

    He pulls a small oblong box out of the pouch. It’s about six by three inches, and a dull red color. An image of a Poké Ball is engraved on the front.

    “Um, Zoroark? Is that an old Pokedex?”

    “Yeah. You ask the right Kecleon for something and offer the right price, he’ll sell you his own mother.”

    “Okay, but where’d he get it?”

    “I don’t know. Never ask a Kecleon where his wares come from; you won’t get a straight answer. Theirs is a race of hucksters, and they keep the origin of all their merchandise a secret. They believe that if it exists, it can be sold. If it can be sold, it can be stolen. So, they view information as sellable, too. However, they will not sell info about the source of their merchandise, as they feel that the moment it’s revealed, everything will be stolen.”

    “That’s an… odd bit of reasoning.”

    “Tell me about it. So, give me a moment, here.”

    He presses a few buttons on the side of the Pokedex, and the box unfolds itself. He points it at me, and it clicks. He stares at the screen for a moment, and shakes it violently. There’s a screeching sound, and then silence. Zoroark looks at the screen again, and frowns. He slaps it, and then smiles.

    “Okay, here we go. Dang thing must be broken. It showed you as a couple different Pokemon before I got it working. Anyway, this shows your EL to be 12. Thus, you should know the moves Scratch, Leer, Water Gun, and Rage. I’, guessing you’ve never used any of those before?”

    “Nope. Not a one.”

    He stands up and motions for me to stand on the other end of the room.

    “Now,” he announces. “Most Pokemon are taught how to fight within a week of hatching. They have no more experience than you have. However, they do most of the work of learning attacks at will. Here, we’ll start the same way, but drive your nose to the grindstone. After one lesson, you’ll have around two months of experience. Now shall we begin?”

    I nod, and strike what I assume is a ready position. “So, what do I do?”

    “Hold on, Heath. At your level, moves aren’t something you can just use. At your level of mastery, they’re a reflexive self defense mechanism. You’ve always had items before, so you haven’t had to rely on them. Here, we’re going to force you to use them.

    “In a few moments, I’m going to attack you. I want you to defend yourself. You will not be able to run or restrain me. You are to hit me before I hit you. If you try to block I will hit twice as hard. Got that?”

    I nod, and we stand. Neither of us moves a muscle for several minutes. However, eventually he moves.

    I almost miss the movement as he flicks his claw forward, and launches himself at me. His claws are glowing red, and look razor sharp. I remember his words, and jump forward, claws in front of me.

    Nothing. Crap, he’s about to hit me!

    I shake my arms as if that’ll make them work. He’s now around four feet in front of me. I squeeze my eyes shut, and decide that it’ll be better to take the hit defensively than to take it full force. I cross my arms in front of me, expecting him to suddenly change speed. He does, and I take the hit, being launched several feet backwards.

    I pick myself up, and face Zoroark. He looks a bit disappointed.

    “Come on, Heath; either you want to learn moves or you don’t. Did I come at you too fast?”

    “Maybe. I’m not sure; I’ve never done this sort of thing before.”

    He sighs, and calls me over to the center of the room. He bends down on one knee, and thinks. He snaps his fingers after a moment, and smiles.

    “I’ve been going at this all wrong. You already have some moves under your belt, so I shouldn’t be using this curriculum.”

    He stands, and heads to the other side of the room, and rummages around near the stairs. He comes back with a large book. He places it down on the ground, dusts it off, and cracks the spine open. He flips a few pages, and then begins to read. He finally points to a page, and smiles.

    “How would you like to learn Water Oath?”

    I raise an eyebrow, and Zoroark shows me the page. It’s a guide on how to tutor moves. I shrug, a bit confused.

    “How is teaching me moves going to help?”

    “This way, you’ll learn how to use the moves. You already have four moves under your belt, so your body assumes at this point that you know how to use them at will. Thus, it will not use them reflexively. So, the only answer is to teach you how to use moves that you don’t yet know. There are a few in here you’ll be able to learn, so you might be able to have a full set of moves in a few hours.”

    It seems like a good idea. I nod, and he begins reading aloud.

    “Okay, this sounds weird, but I want you to focus your energy.”

    “What?”

    “Um, that’s what the book says to do.”

    There’s an awkward silence for a few moments, and Zoroark suddenly runs upstairs. I glance after him, and he calls down, “Just wait a moment!”

    I sit down, and wait for him. He’s upstairs for around 10 minutes, but comes down with a tub of water. He plonks it down in front of me, and gestures.

    “All Water-types can control the flow of water on some small level. If we start with water that you can see, then perhaps we can get you to learn Water Oath easier.”

    I have no idea what he’s talking about, but he seems to think it’ll work. I head over to the tub, and stare at the water. “Um, what an I supposed to do, exactly?”

    He’s about to answer, when a flash of light comes from upstairs. Zoroark freezes, and runs upstairs. He comes dashing back down the stairs a few moments later, and grabs me.

    “Lesson postponed. The sun’s vanished again. Just stay down here, and we’ll be fine."
    Last edited by pokenutter; 2nd January 2011 at 8:30 PM.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
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  5. #55
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    First of all, you double posted the chapter. Onto the review:

    “In a few moments, I’m going to attack you. I want you to defend yourself. You will not be able to run or restrain me. You are to hit me before I hit you. If you try to block I will hit twice as hard. Got that?”
    There you go.

    Heath is finally going to learn how to use moves, the sun vanished again, overall, a great chapter. I give this chapter a 5 out of 5, this chapter was nearly flawless for a somewhat filler chapter.

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resident evil View Post
    First of all, you double posted the chapter. Onto the review:



    There you go.

    Heath is finally going to learn how to use moves, the sun vanished again, overall, a great chapter. I give this chapter a 5 out of 5, this chapter was nearly flawless for a somewhat filler chapter.
    Fixed. Thanks for the review. I wasn't sure if it would be very obvious, but yes, this is technically a filler chapter. The events will impact the story later, but for now, this arc starts with a filler chapter.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
    http://askredemption.tumblr.com/
    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  7. #57
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    Well, Zoroark and I have managed to stay under his house for several minutes now. For whatever reason, the cold doesn’t come down here. I ask Zoroark why, and he shrugs.

    “I don’t know, honestly. It could be because of the fact that there’s a Mystery Dungeon in such close proximity-“

    “What?”

    “Back in the day, towns were founded by large bands of rescue teams settling in one area. It was the concept of the dojo that changed that. In a nutshell, any credible dojo needs to challenge its patrons to the best of its ability. As such, most are built on top of an existing subterranean Mystery Dungeon. Since these are rarely anywhere near civilization, dojos started popping up all over the place, with many attracting small communities around them. Quest Plaza is one such town.”

    “So, you built this dojo?”

    “No. I inherited the dojo from my old master, and he from his. It starts getting a bit foggy around four hundred years or so, but I know that this dojo was founded by a Salamence.”

    “So how does the Mystery Dungeon provide the warmth?”

    “Mystery Dungeons are asynchronous moments in space and time. As such, the surrounding area is unaffected by the environment around them. We may not be in a Mystery Dungeon right now, but we’re close enough so that time is being warped.”

    I nod in understanding, and am about to strike up a conversation when a knocking comes from upstairs. Zoroark holds up a finger, motioning for me to wait. He heads upstairs, and I hear the door opening. I hear muted conversation, and then two sets of footsteps descending the stairs.

    Zoroark comes first, carrying something large and green behind his back. Madame Lucario follows close behind, holding the other side. It doesn’t take me long to figure out that they’re carrying an unconscious Jaroda.

    I rush over, and ask if I can help with anything. Madame Lucario nods, and sends me upstairs to fill a tub with warm water.

    “Jaroda’s species is cold blooded. When the sun went out before now, odds are he was inside his house, which is insulated to a ridiculous degree, or near some source of warmth. However, he was shopping today, and got caught on the other end of town. He’s lucky he passed out near my tent.”

    As I’m filling the tub, another knock comes from the door. I go and answer it this time, and am surprised as Kim storms through the door, and grabs me.

    “We’re going home, Heath. It’s barely safe out right now.”

    “I can’t leave yet, Kim. You see-“

    “Do you know what’s going on outside? In a word- anarchy! The last two times this happened, it was a five minutes at most. It’s been fifteen- there’s talk of Armageddon. Beyond that, Officer Magnezone has his hands full with looters all throughout the area. Our house is far away enough where no one will bother breaking in. We need to go, now! Before some crazy idiot comes in here!”

    “Kim, I would have left immediately, but Zoroark seemed to think it was best for me to stay downstairs.”

    Before Kim can reply, Madame Lucario bounds up the stairs. She seems ready to chastise me over my slowness with delivering the tub, but notices Kim.

    “Kim! What are you doing here?”

    “Bringing Heath home. Why?”

    “No, he’s helping me. Come downstairs, you may be better suited to this job than he is.”

    Kim follows perplexedly, and I take the rear, being sure to close and lock Zoroark’s door. When we reach the bottom of the stairs, Kim sees Jaroda, and nods.

    “Right. I need something flammable. Something that wouldn’t be missed.”

    Zoroark thinks for a moment, and picks up the bench along the wall. “I was going to replace this thing anyway…” he mutters to himself, and places it near Jaroda.

    Kim pulls her head back, and lets loose a small tongue of flame. It sets the bench alight, and soon, Jaroda is seated next to a roaring fire. Kim begins to walk around it slowly, eyeing it suspiciously. In response to my confused look, she explains.

    “I had to make this fire on the fly. No warning, no preparation, not even proper firewood. So, I need to keep an eye on this fire, to make sure it doesn’t set the house ablaze. Based on what your note said, you came here to learn some moves. If you know any water type moves, it might help to douse the area around the flames.”

    “While that sounds like a good idea, Zoroark and I were busy with Plan B for equipping me with moves when the sun went out. We never actually got anywhere with it. I’m still moveless.”

    Kim rolls her eyes. “Alright, we need to find some way of containing the fire.”

    She turns to Zoroark. “Do you have any roundish metal objects?”

    “That tub of water has one, but it’s nowhere near big enough to contain a fire of that size.”

    She sighs. “Fine. Heath, I’ll monitor the fire, you and Zoroark go out into town to get something we can use as a fire ring.”

    Zoroark and I nod, and head up the stairs. Bearing in mind what Kim had told me earlier about the state of the outside, I unlocked the door, ready for anything.

    It’s quiet in the streets. Nearby, I catch a quick flash of movement. It remains still for a moment, and then zips in front of us.

    The Pokémon in front of us is silver and disc-shaped. It has a single eye at its center, and a pair of magnets at its sides. I’ve never met this particular Pokémon before, but I can guess by his reputation.

    “Officer Magnezone, I presume.”
    His voice is crackly, as if he gargles with hot sauce. It can’t seem to maintain a pitch.

    “YeS. nameS AND buSiNESs, PLeAsE.”

    Zoroark nods.

    “Heath the Totodile and the Zoroark formerly known as Garret.”

    “Wait, formerly known?”

    “One moment please, Heath. Our business is with the Kecleons. We’re purchasing a fire ring.”

    Several seconds pass, and Officer Magnezone stands to the side.

    “i aPOlogiZE for THE inCONVenIenCE. aS yOU WerE.”

    Officer Magnezone flies off, and I turn to Zoroark. “It must really be bad out there; he sounded a tad shaken up.”

    “He always sounds like that. Every Pokémon in his evolutionary line uses a magnetic field to speak. I have no idea how it works, something about the frequency becoming audible. However, one of his magnets was damaged around twelve years ago during an apprehension of a particularly skilled combatant. His voice has been like that ever since.”

    “Hmm. Interesting. So anyway, about your name…”

    “Some Pokémon have names, others don’t. It’s mostly a matter of preference, but there is sometimes an occasion when a Pokemon’s parents will name them from birth. My parents were adamant that I would be named Garret, after a great explorer. Personally, I felt that I was no one special, so I went through legal hell in order to have the name wiped when I came of age. I didn’t feel like going through that again to get a new name, so I stuck with my species name.”

    “Legal hell? What do you mean?”

    “There’s a legal process behind getting a name. Due to the phasing out of clan names around two thousand years ago, you could, in theory, have the exact same name as someone else. In some cases, it could be the name of a known criminal. So, in order to prevent cases of mistaken identity, there’s a lot of legal screening to see if any living Pokémon has the same name you want, how far away from you they are, and how well-known they’ve become, for good or ill. If all of that information checks out, then the name is useable. However, even then, the name can be revoked if a criminal begins to use it, or after someone is dragged into court after allegedly committing a crime. In the case of the latter, it’s usually so that others can’t commit crimes in the name of the first criminal.”

    “That’s a bit more than I wanted to know. So, what about my name? Kim or I haven’t been through this process yet.”

    “Why would you?”

    “Well, Kim named me. I don’t know my actual name.”

    Zoroark looks confused for a moment, then shrugs. “I think as long as everyone thinks that it’s your human name, you should be fine.”

    Before long, we arrive at the Kecleons’ store. To put it nicely, it’s a total wreck. The stand out front has been demolished, and appears to have been broken down the middle. Their banner appears to have been shredded, and some parts of it are on fire.

    The Kecleons themselves are actively moving around the rubble, trying to pick up what remains of the stand. Upon seeing us, they strike ready poses. The purple one calls out.

    “All right, keep moving! We have nothing for you here. We don’t want any trouble, but we’ll fight if we have to.”

    Zoroark reaches into his mane and pulls his wallet out. He tosses it over.

    “We’re here to buy, not loot.”

    Their attitudes change immediately upon hearing this. The green one calls out.

    “Alright, my good sirs! What can we get for you?”

    “We need a large iron ring. Either that, or a large quantity of bricks or stones.”

    “You got it!”

    They dash inside for a moment, and come back rolling a metal ring around four feet in diameter.

    “It’s a bit big, but it’s all we have. 500 Poké, please.”

    Zoroark pays, and we leave the Kecleons to their repairs. We move quickly across the square in near total darkness. We’re about halfway back to his house when suddenly, a Magmortar dashes past. He fires a blast of hot air past us, and a torch abruptly lights up behind us. He continues on his way, and I look at Zoroark, confused.

    “He’s probably been hired to light all the torches. At night, torches are lit for travelers. I suppose they decided to treat this as a cold, moonless night.”

    I nod and turn to face the road, finally visible by a flickering, orange light. I pause for a moment; I think I saw something. I tell Zoroark to hold on a moment, and dash to the side of the road.

    I begin to poke around, noting that the grass is frozen almost to the point of sharpness, and eventually locate what I thought I saw.

    Julius, facedown on the ground. I hold my fingers to his wrist, and feel a faint pulse.

    I consider my options. So far, Zoroark and I are the only ones who are on this road. Given the lighting of torches, more will probably walk this path. However, I have no idea what his constitution is like. I have no idea how long he’ll survive.

    I really don’t have any choice, do I? Cursing my luck, I heave Julius onto my back, and drag him out, trying to fathom how I’m going to explain this to Kim

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
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  8. #58
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    I figure with Black and White less than 10 days away, it might be a good idea to mention this; In any of my fanfics, I will not use the official American names for already established characters. i.e., Jaroda will not be referred to as Serperior, for example, due to his creation prior to the name reveal. All further Serperiors will be called as such. However, if it's something very minor minor (such as Julius's species being Kibago,) it will be changed for future releases (Julius the Axew. Hey, I didn't come up with the species name.)

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
    http://askredemption.tumblr.com/
    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  9. #59
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    im a new reader to your journal and i love it. so much suspence and mystery.

    great job
    HG/SS Friend Code:5156-5779-8535
    Black Friend Code:3696-9320-8677
    White Friend Code:4427-1588-0618

    I am currently lookin for female DW pokemon.
    Also lookin for Timid/Modest Latios

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iron Beast View Post
    im a new reader to your journal and i love it. so much suspence and mystery.

    great job
    Thanks! I should be back to this soon; this semester has been a bear, and has really made writing more chapters difficult. I should have the new chapter ready by May 7th.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
    http://askredemption.tumblr.com/
    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  11. #61
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    This is aweome and fun to read. I read this over play my HeartGold where I haven't beaten the Elite 4 yet. I can't wait for the next chapter and the ones to come.
    "Words can build you up, Words can break you down."
    "And you can take the one thing I have left
    Beat me to the ground and take my breath
    But you can't take who I am
    woah-woah."
    - Hawk Nelson

  12. #62
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    After reading this for two days now, I’ve become addicted to it. Now as a non-silent reader, I feel that it is my duty to post my attempt at a review here.

    Here goes. First, description/setting. You did a fantastic job of writing the weirdness of the dungeons, and the action of a boss battle. Good examples of this being: the face off against Christine the Luxray and the so-named Team Jump. Also,the rescue of Ampharos. Quarreling teammates, hysterical clients, blast seed destruction, and carnivine acid burns, the first mission isn’t as easy as everyone thinks.
    The towns found in your story are very creative, Sylvan, the community built in a giant tree top, and the verity of shops of Quest Plaza. They make me wish that they were places in the games, good job on that.

    Second, plot. I have to say that the usual PMD storyline doesn’t have anything on this.
    The sun going out in the middle of the day for extended periods of time, causing huge amounts of panic to emerge, all engineered by unknown forces, or beings, very original
    (Additional points for referencing the PMD2 storyline). The fact that this story is on a completely new land filled with a wide verity of dungeons, pokemon, and of course mysteries.

    Third is the characters. Now we have Heath, our human-turned-Totodile main character that can’t remember his own name ( a trademark of these stories), doesn’t know any moves as of yet, and is an amateur flute player. Kim, our fiery charmander who refuses to form a rescue team, and Julius, our misguided rescue “expert” / secret teller. Along with a host of others such as, Madam Lucario, Jadora, and Melchior.

    Now, the bad part: mistakes. Not many that I saw, just the tiny errors that were all ready caught by earlier readers.

    The latest chapter left us with many questions: when and if the sun will return, how will Kim react to Heath’s rescue of Julius, and what happens next. I hope that the answers will be posted soon. I’m eagerly awaiting chapter 15, hopefully in the near future. Please don’t give up on this, its way too good to die. All in all though, good job Pokenutter.


    Knightfall signing off…
    Last edited by Knightfall; 23rd April 2012 at 2:31 AM.

  13. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by knightfall View Post
    After reading this for two days now, I’ve become addicted to it. Now as a non-silent reader, I feel that it is my duty to post my attempt at a review here.

    Here goes. First, description/setting. You did a fantastic job of writing the weirdness of the dungeons, and the action of a boss battle. Good examples of this being: the face off against Christine the Luxray and the so-named Team Jump. Also,the rescue of Ampharos. Quarreling teammates, hysterical clients, blast seed destruction, and carnivine acid burns, the first mission isn’t as easy as everyone thinks.
    The towns found in your story are very creative, Sylvan, the community built in a giant tree top, and the verity of shops of Quest Plaza. They make me wish that they were places in the games, good job on that.

    Second, plot. I have to say that the usual PMD storyline doesn’t have anything on this.
    The sun going out in the middle of the day for extended periods of time, causing huge amounts of panic to emerge, all engineered by unknown forces, or beings, very original
    (Additional points for referencing the PMD2 storyline). The fact that this story is on a completely new land filled with a wide verity of dungeons, pokemon, and of course mysteries.

    Third is the characters. Now we have Heath, our human-turned-Totodile main character that can’t remember his own name ( a trademark of these stories), doesn’t know any moves as of yet, and is an amateur flute player. Kim, our fiery charmander who refuses to form a rescue team, and Julius, our misguided rescue “expert” / secret teller. Along with a host of others such as, Madam Lucario, Jadora, and Melchior.

    Now, the bad part: mistakes. Not many that I saw, just the tiny errors that were all ready caught by earlier readers.

    The latest chapter left us with many questions: when and if the sun will return, how will Kim react to Heath’s rescue of Julius, and what happens next. I hope that the answers will be posted soon. I’m eagerly awaiting chapter 15, hopefully in the near future. Please don’t give up on this, its way too good to die. All in all though, good job Pokenutter.


    Knightfall signing off…
    Thank you very much. Just an update: MD Journal will resume in a few days. I've been putting it off for school-related reasons, and then for some poor excuses, but it will return. The jury's still out as to whether the updates will be weekly as they once were, but it will return to a regular update schedule.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
    http://askredemption.tumblr.com/
    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  14. #64
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    Glad that this will continue, it's such a great story. I'll try to leave my attempts reviews after chapters. I'm actually in the process of writing my own PMD story, I have hopes it'll be as good as this. Keep up the good work!

    Knightfall signing off.

  15. #65
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    I've been reading this for a pretty long time now. This has got to be one of most interesting fics I've ever read. Not only is it very descriptive, but it's pretty well thought out. I can't wait to read what happens next and why the sun keeps doing that. I also have a feeling that the main character will have to find a Volcarona for something.. Well, I'm not spoiling it :P What I really like about this is that it a neat turn from being an ordinary fanfic to being a journal or something.. I do think that Heath loses a little too much though.
    I've actually considered making a PMD fic myself and am now almost determined to get it started.

    Please continue on with this awesome story!
    ~You've been 0utraged

    I have a Youtube channel! It's small, but always awesome! (I hope)
    https://www.youtube.com/user/redF1r3w0rks


  16. #66
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    Sweet, more non-silent readers; I'm not the only one. And pokenutter I plan on reviewing future chapters, so just a heads up. Now I gotta go google "how to review" so I can do so competently.

    Knightfall signing off...

  17. #67
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    Long time reader 1st time poster.

    I've rather enjoyed all of this...even the filler. Just following along getting all excited and then....BAM no more updates. So whats up?

    Been following several fanfics unfortunately all the good ones die off. I really hope this doesn't become another dead one.

  18. #68
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    Hello, everyone. I'm sorry for the wait- I've had one hell of a writer's block over the past year. Rest assured, I'm back to writing, and the next chapter will be coming out soon. Look for it on the 21st of February.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
    http://askredemption.tumblr.com/
    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  19. #69
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    Closet reader INCOMING!!

    Sorry, I had like two big boxes of Nerds. Please excuse my hyperness.

    Anyway, I'm a big fan of PMD stories, and I like the way how original the story seems to be. ^w^

    So far, my favorite characters are Kim and Heath. I love Kim and how no-nonsense she is. Heath I love for how clueless he can be. xDDD

    The way you write the story is very different. It really feels like I'm reading his journal.

    You get 10/10 for all you've done so far, Pokenutter.

    Keep it up!

    I have claimed Alucard (Hellsing), Sebastian (Kuroshitsuji), and Laguna Loire (Final Fantasy VIII).
    Hellsing, Street Fighter, The Elder Scrolls, Dangan Ronpa, Bleach, Homestuck, Black Butler, and Puella Magi Madoka Magica fan.
    Sig made by Izagar.
    3DS FC: 3738 0398 8876 Mikan
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mister_SGG View Post
    Actually I'm back b/c I plugged in my amp and playing one note when my grandpa came in and told me to stfu

    So now I'm just sitting here stroking my guitar while naked

  20. #70
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    “While I can understand your wanting to help, I don’t understand why you had to bring him back here.”

    “It was either this or leave him. I understand that we haven’t gotten along for some time, but we’ve already got a sort of infirmary thing going here, and-“

    “Look, Heath. Like I said, I understand your wanting to help, but it’s cramped down here as it is. And Zoroark’s house is not an infirmary. You could have just left him by one of the torches, and someone would have found him. He’d be kept at a reasonable temperature by the fire, and eventually brought to the hospital for recovery.”

    I ready a counter argument, but before I can try and hit my point home, I hear a groan from behind us. I turn just in time for Jaroda’s tail, leaves extended in a Leaf Blade, to come rocketing towards my throat. I turn my gaze towards his previously unconscious form, and meet his eyes.

    “Look, you two. What’s done is done, and arguing about won’t do anything at this point. I need to rest now. Can’t you keep your squabbling to a minimum?”

    I feel a slight hint of fear aura hovering around the edge of his words as he pulls his tail away. I turn to Kim, who I realize also had a blade pointed her way. I lower my voice, and whisper, “Look. If this goes well, maybe he’ll at least start talking to us again.”

    She shrugs, and whispers back, “It’s been two months since he said anything to either of us. He’s moved on, Heath. And I know why you want him to talk to you. Because you lied to him, you blame yourself for the dissolution of Team JUMP. You believe that you might be able to get the team back together.”

    “Perhaps.”

    “Perhaps? Maybe you haven’t watched yourself over the past two months, but I have. You avoid the topic of rescue teams entirely. You came over to Zoroark’s today to learn moves, and now this thing with Julius. If you want to join a rescue team, just let me know- I’ll leave the door open at night if you have to get in late.”

    “You’re forgetting something important, Kim. I know everyone in Quest Plaza in passing, but only know three people very well: You, Julius, and Madame Lucario. Trying to start a rescue team by myself wouldn’t end well; I would need to know the other members on a personal level in order for the group to work. Joining an existing team is a hassle for all involved, because the group generally has some synergy going after their first few missions. And I think that after two missions where I’ve nearly been killed, I’ve proven that I can’t do solo missions.”

    Kim looks like she’s about to utter a response, but then drops her arms to her sides.

    “I understand what you’re talking about, Heath. I really do. I just don’t want you to set yourself up for a disappointment.

    With that, she strides off to tend to the fire. I look behind me, and see Zoroark beckoning me over.

    “Was it really a good idea bringing your friend back with us?”

    He gestures to Julius’s still-unconscious body, perched against a footstool on the far end of the fire.

    I shrug. “I thought so, but I’m not entirely sure now…”

    Zoroark nods, and then changes the subject. “So, I’m pretty sure we were in the middle of something before the sun went out.”

    “Huh?”

    “You know, teaching you Water Pledge?”

    “Are you sure that’s a good idea right now? I mean, it hardly seems like a good time.”

    “We’re not doing much else except sitting around and waiting, are we?”

    He has a point. I nod. “So, how do I do this?”

    “Well, it’d probably be much easier if we had a water-type over to help, but we’re going to have to make do with a slower approach.”

    He motions over to the tub of water.

    “Reach your hand in, and move the water around.”

    I raise an eyebrow. “What?”

    “Just trust me on this.”

    I shrug, and do as he says. He watches for a few minutes, and nods.

    “Okay, now pull your hand most of the way out- let the tips of your fingers brush the top of the water.”

    I begin to slide my hand around, and stop suddenly. My fingers aren’t even really submerged, but not only does the water move exactly as it had before, it feels like my hands are up to the wrist in water.

    Zoroark smiles. “Ah, there we go.”

    “What? How is the water moving this much?”

    “It’s a strange variant of muscle memory. Water-types can control bodies of water on a minor level- you’re experiencing that right now. By moving your hand around while submerged, and with the purpose of attacking in your mind, you’ve taught your body how to manage basic control. You’re probably going to have to use your hands when attacking for some time, but you’ll learn attacks faster if you eschew convenience for the time being.”

    I nod. “So, do you want me to keep moving the water?”

    “The fact that you immediately moved the water with your fingertips means that we’re ready to move on to zero-contact control.”

    He picks up the tub, and moves it about ten feet away.

    “We’re also going to try something fancy here- I want you to try and make a fountain in the middle. You don’t have to maintain it for long- just long enough that the two of us can tell what it is.”

    I hold my hands out, first testing that I can still move the water around. After a few seconds of confirmation, I ponder how I should go about doing this. On a whim, I push one hand downwards, and hold the other one where the first used to be.

    I don’t notice anything, but Zoroark looks into the tub and smiles.

    “It isn’t much, but you have the basics down.”

    Maintaining my pose, I move closer to the tub. As I do, I begin to see a small fountain emerge the closer I get. I step backwards experimentally, and the stream weakens. I let my hands fall to my sides, and the stream abruptly stops, falling back down into the tub. I smile, and then notice how heavily I’m breathing. Zoroark notices this as well, and explains.

    “You don’t have much practice with this yet, but you’ll eventually be able to weaponize this ability. Just give it time.”

    He sits down next to me, and continues. “Anyway, sorry about how long this took.”

    That came completely out of the blue. I decide to play along. “Yeah, it felt like a year, didn’t it?”

    He looks confused. “What are you on about?”

    “Um, nothing. Anyway, how long do you think Julius will be out?”

    “Hmm… I can’t really say. Jaroda recovered quickly, but Julius is… less strong, I guess. He’s a fighter, but he doesn’t have much endurance.”

    “What, did he come here often?”

    “After he outed you, he came here twice, and that was it. He didn’t seem to like it when I told him that it may not be safe for him to adventure by himself- most solo adventurers have years of experience in a group, anyway. He hasn’t been back since.”

    “That sounds like him.”

    I sigh, and look back towards the fire pit. Jaroda seems to be awake, and is talking with Kim and Madame Lucario. Julius, meanwhile, is still unconscious.

    Zoroark notices me watching, and smiles reassuringly. “Don’t worry about him. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

    I nod, but I’m not too sure. He hasn’t moved at all since we brought him back, and it almost feels like I’m waiting by his deathbed.

    Please don’t die on me, Julius…
    Last edited by pokenutter; 2nd March 2012 at 9:17 PM.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
    http://askredemption.tumblr.com/
    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  21. #71
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    I've been waiting a while to do this.

    I have to say that it was a little on the short side compared to other chapters, but we still have things happening none the less.

    I can't help but feel the slightest bit sorry for Julius, I like the suspense of not knowing whether he's going to make it is a nice touch.

    I understand Kim's view, I'm not likeing Julius too much either.

    And the move teaching continues, finally Heath is making some progress, maybe the next time he picks a fight with a dungeon boss, he'll have something other than Iron Thorns to work with.

    And though it somewhat takes a back seat this chapter, the sun is still darkened by something. You said it was a real Pokemon, and I can't think of one that can do that other than a certain emerald sky dragon.

    I'm going to assume that it's all part of an eleborate plot wrapped up in an evil scheme, surrounded by yet another complex evil plot. And I'm fine with that.

    Quote Originally Posted by pokenutter View Post
    He sits down next to me, and continues. “Anyway, sorry about how long this took.”

    That came completely out of the blue. I decide to play along. “Yeah, it felt like a year, didn’t it?”

    He looks confused. “What are you on about?”

    “Um, nothing. Anyway, how long do you think Julius will be out?”

    “Hmm… I can’t really say. Jaroda recovered quickly, but Julius is… less strong, I guess. He’s a fighter, but he doesn’t have much endurance.”
    And we learn some more of our bitter little Axnew. And yes, it did feel like a year (not sure if the "felt like a year" thing was intentional or not).

    Anyways, great chapter. It was good to hear from Heath and the others again. And I hope that Julius doesn't die, I may not like him, but enough for that to happen.

    'Til the next chapter,

    Knightfall signing off...
    Last edited by Knightfall; 2nd March 2012 at 11:19 PM.

  22. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by knightfall View Post
    I've been waiting a while to do this.

    I have to say that it was a little on the short side compared to other chapters, but we still have things happening none the less.
    Yeah, it's weird- it looked longer in the word document. I guess a lot more happened than I expected to happen in a single chapter here, and that made it seem longer.

    Quote Originally Posted by knightfall View Post
    And though it somewhat takes a back seat this chapter, the sun is still darkened by something. You said it was a real Pokemon, and I can't think of one that can do that other than a certain emerald sky dragon.
    An interesting thought. Rest assured, your questions will be answered.

    Quote Originally Posted by knightfall View Post
    And yes, it did feel like a year (not sure if the "felt like a year" thing was intentional or not).
    It was. I just wanted to let people know that the wait was all kinds of ridiculous. This seemed like the best way.

    Quote Originally Posted by knightfall View Post
    Anyways, great chapter. It was good to hear from Heath and the others again. And I hope that Julius doesn't die, I may not like him, but enough for that to happen.

    'Til the next chapter,

    Knightfall signing off...
    Thank you very much for your review! With any luck, the next chapter will be out very quickly.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
    http://askredemption.tumblr.com/
    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  23. #73
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    This is great!
    I came in hoping for humor and came out ecstatic for more.
    Would you please make a pm list and add me?
    They say if you press cntrl and W you get to see the programming of a website after making a signature with 3 ws and 8qs
    Fanfics I like that are still in production: Author's Run, Pokémon emerald the better version

    This the aquabats song awesome forces:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx4sL0w3SHM
    and here is their song shark fighter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3wchrctxFo

    I NEED A BETA READER!
    Check out my fic.
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...2#post14945242

  24. #74
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    A PM list? Like, notifications when it updates? You just need to subscribe.

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Journal- 29 chapters and counting!
    Most Recent Chapter- Several weeks after they arrive at Star Peak, Chance alerts Team Jump to a Darkrai Shard in the area.

    Interested in a blog that reviews the Pokémon products of the past and present? Have a look at http://tompokenutter.wordpress.com/ !
    http://askredemption.tumblr.com/
    Ask the cast of Redemption anything you like!


  25. #75
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    How do you subscribe?

    How is the sun thing going on?

    What is the upcoming catastrophe?

    What does the entity look like?

    Perecnt of completion of this chapter?

    Percent of completion total story?
    They say if you press cntrl and W you get to see the programming of a website after making a signature with 3 ws and 8qs
    Fanfics I like that are still in production: Author's Run, Pokémon emerald the better version

    This the aquabats song awesome forces:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx4sL0w3SHM
    and here is their song shark fighter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3wchrctxFo

    I NEED A BETA READER!
    Check out my fic.
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...2#post14945242

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