Project Valentine (Multishippings, G-PG13)

[SugarPesticide]

OMG a reviewer :D *does a nerd dance* Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad you find these interesting ^_^

The shippings ... yes, the original intention was to pick them randomly; crack pairings were what I had in mind to be honest. I did allow people to request ships though. And, well ... it was FanFiction.Net, they exploited it to an unbelievable measure. Meaning that the only ones out of a 200+ to-do list that were randomly generated were Mewtwo/Regigigas, Looker/Lance, Bill/Yellow, and as-of-yet-unwritten Cress/Sawsbuck. Yes, that means pairs like Golem/Doduo were actually requested. o_0; So requesting and randomly generating are both on hold for a while, sadly.

Would you want to be on a PM list? I can start one if you like ^^;

*

EgyptianFurShipping // Lucario & Lopunny // PG-13

"Oh New, sweetie~" Lopunny sang, swaying seductively from side to side. "I have a little sweet some-some for you to see~!"

"Not right now!" New Bus the Lucario called back, keeping his eyes glued to the widescreen TV as he jerked the Wii Wheel around. "I'm only in fifth place! I need to pass Waluigi!"

Lopunny sagged, letting her shoulders slump. She gazed down at her puff-covered hands, peering at the pom-pom-like fur with scrutiny. They were just as pretty as they'd been before, she decided. She looked back up at the video game, in which New's plumber driver had just tossed a cute little black bomb at the lanky purple demon-thing in front of him, exploding as soon as it hit the ground and sending the enemy driver flying into the air. She stared in disbelief. Surely that idiotic little pastime could not be anywhere nearly as captivating as her gorgeous self! And yet there it was, and there he was, grunting in satisfaction as he passed his foe.

"Why won't you make those noises by getting with me?" she whined, putting her hands on her hips.

"Ooooooh, Koopa shells!" New cheered, jabbing buttons. "Yessss ..."

"I brought a cake," she crooned, pulling a platter of it seemingly out of nowhere. "Chocolaty goodness, your absolute favorite!"

"Eat bananas, runt!" he laughed, lobbing yellow peels at another unsuspecting driver.

"Not hungry, then?" she chirruped, throwing the platter out the window, which resulted in a loud crash and a pitiable feline yowl. "Okay, how about a nice massage? It's real nice, it'll take all those aches and kinks out of your muscles. And you know, maybe I'll help you discover little places you didn't even know you had." She flexed her short fingers, as if groping at the innocent air.

"Haha! Take that, Birdo! Birrrrrrrrdo!" he jeered, rolling the 'R' obnoxiously. "Won't be getting in my face anymore, will you?"

"Oh, for the love of …" Dropping her hands to her sides, she marched over to the Lucario, standing between him and the TV. "New Bus, if you don't start paying attention to me, I'll get in your face!"

"Hey, watch it!" he yelled, leaning hard to the side in order to look at the screen. "I'm trying to get the Gold Star Cup here! You're ruining everything!"

She stomped a step in the same direction, blocking his view again; he simply shifted to the other side, biting his lip in concentration as he continued pushing buttons without missing a beat. Lips pressed together angrily, Lopunny stepped in front of him yet again, but New, undeterred, simply swerved both his wheel and body to the side, incidentally avoiding a fatal drop in the process.

"New Bus!" she snapped, trying to swoop down and grab him but failing miserably. "What part of 'I want to make gorgeous steamy love to you' don't you understand?" She paused, frowning slightly. "Wait, I never actually said that, did I? Lopunny, you idiot …" She facepalmed in annoyance, wondering why she hadn't made it clear to her should-be bed buddy …

"Bowser, you oaf!" New hollered, smashing through blue boxes in an attempt to find awesome power-ups. "What are you doing? Get out of first place, you're not the player character here, wipe that smile off your face, that doesn't even make sense!"

… But it didn't seem to have mattered, anyway.

"…" Lopunny growled, clenching her paws into fists. She was going to knock him a really good one.

She pulled her arm backward, fist ready to fly forward and smash into a hapless jackal skull, when—

"YES!" New leapt about five feet off the ground, pumping his fist exultantly. "I WON THE GOLD STAR CUP! I DID IT! I WON! I FINALLY WON! DID YOU SEE ME, LOPUNNY, THAT WAS SO EPIC, I WON, IN YOUR FACE BOWSER, WHATCHA GONNA DO NOW, HUH, SEND ME DRIVING INTO A BOB-BOMB, I DON'T THINK SO, YOU WENT DOWN AND OUTTA TOWN! WHOOHOO!"

He bounced off of various things, danced crazily about the room, sang to himself loudly, and threw his arms around Lopunny as he planted a firm kiss right on her mouth.

Lopunny simply stood frozen in his embrace, not daring to move.

"I'M DE WEENER!" he cheered, breaking abruptly away and jumping around again. "WHO'S DE WEENER? MARIO'S DE WEENER!"

She stared into thin air, slowly raising a hesitant paw to touch her lips. Did he just kiss her? After all that trouble she'd gone to, getting his attention, had it finally paid off? She felt her face grow hot, and a stray giggle escaped her. Maybe now she could actually get him to—

"And now just of the rest of the Grand Prix to go!" New declared, holding the Wii Wheel above his head like a trophy.

THUD!

"Lopunny?" He glanced downward, looking confused at why she would have fainted at such a momentous occasion. "Lopunny, are you okay?"

*

Coming up next: SpecialJewelShipping.

[floracat]

W-O-W. That was hilarious! What a funny and cute story! That was the same Lucario from the Delcatty & Lucario pairing, right? Oh, and yes, I would like to be on the PM list. I like this. You have really cute and funny stories.

P.S. MARIO KART, YEAH!!!!!

[SugarPesticide]

Thanks, and done~! And yes, the Lucario is the same New Bus as before. There's a weird continuity between all these one-shots. Sort of. It's complicated.

*

SpecialJewelShipping // Silver & Crystal // G

"Can't I have him?" Crystal begged, trailing after Silver like an adoring puppy.

"No," Silver said for the hundredth time. "He's my Pokemon, and he's going to stay my Pokemon. Stop asking for him."

"But he's a Sinnoh Pokemon!" Crystal gestured wildly at the Weavile walking nearby, who was looking increasingly perturbed by all the unwanted attention. "I don't have any Sinnoh Pokemon at all, and I need to start catching them right away! He'd be a perfect addition to my collection, he's such a fine specimen after all, and he's even kind of cute!"

"Vile?" Weavile protested, making a disgusted face and a retching sound.

"'Cute'? Are you serious?" Silver stopped walking, shaking his head in disbelief. "Weavile isn't cute. He's tough. You have really weird taste, you know that, Crystal? I mean, what else do you find cute?"

"Ahhh …" Crystal paused, rubbing the back of her head. "Well, that's a secret."

Silver stared at her.

She blushed and glanced away. "It's nothing."

He folded his arms.

"Really, it's nothing!" she protested.

He raised an eyebrow.

"I mean it!" she shouted. "I'm serious, Silver, it's absolutely, positively, and completely nothing!"

He raised the other eyebrow.

"STOP GIVING ME THAT LOOK!" she hollered, her face brilliant red. "HONESTLY, SILVER, YOU ARE SO ANNOYING, I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVEN TALK TO Y—"

He abruptly halted her by pulling her into his arms and planting a firm kiss on her mouth.

"…" was all Crystal could say.

"…" Silver replied eloquently.

"…" Weavile remarked, looking shocked.

When they finally broke apart a minute or so later, Silver took a deep breath and said, "You know, you should've said something a long time ago. You've been waiting years for that, haven't you?"

She nodded slightly and giggled feebly, her cheeks now a deep purple. He smirked back at her, reaching over to tease her hair fondly and getting punched in the face for his trouble.

On the sidelines, Weavile sweatdropped nervously. Humans and their courting could be so abrupt sometimes.

*

Coming up next: ColosseumShipping.

[floracat]

Really good. I agree with Weavile in the end though. It was abrupt. Unlike the last fic, this one had alot more romance in it. I kinda liked that though.

And Colosseumshipping is coming up next! It's my FAVORITE game ship *cheers*. Good job as always. Keep it up!

[SugarPesticide]

Thanks again! And yeah, I was sort of poking fun with the whole abrupt thing. I've seen quite a few one-shots where a person admits their love for somebody else out of nowhere, so ...

*

ColosseumShipping // Wes & Rui // PG

It wouldn't have been an ordinary day, in any case. After all, they were on a mission to steal Shadows from ignorant townspeople and malicious grunts, to purify them without getting their heads bitten off, and to take down the evil Cipher before it was too late and the entire region was corrupted. Ordinary would have been the exception rather than the rule, and a welcome break besides.

Still, normalcy was only a matter of perspective: some days were more obviously normal than others. Vicious, shaggy Shadow canines were something they saw nearly every day. But psychotic, cute Shadow fish attempting to rip out their hearts? Not so much.

"I HATE YOU!" said fish snarled, flopping around on the ground ridiculously. "I HATE YOU ALL!"

Wes shook his head in disbelief. "I still don't know what they were thinking. I mean, a Shadow Luvdisc?"

"Well, they do want to Shadowfy every Pokemon …" Rui watched the fish warily, looking slightly displeased at its invisible aura. The newly-Snagged Pokemon, growling at her angrily, pushed itself towards her in a leap that was far from graceful, but she simply batted it away with a flick of her foot. "This might be taking it too far, though."

He sighed. "You think?"

"DIE!" the Shadow Luvdisc shouted, flailing stupidly on its side. "DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! D—"

"I can't decide," Umbreon said to nobody in particular, "whether that's disturbing or hilarious."

"Oh, that's easy!" Espeon told her. "The most disturbing things are obviously hilarious, and the most hilarious things are clearly disturbing. So it's a package deal, really!"

Umbreon's eye twitched, but she wisely decided not to reply.

"But weirdness aside," Wes said, prodding at the roaring fish with his toe, "why's it acting like this? It's one thing for a Houndoom or Metagross to want to kill … but a Luvdisc? Even if it's a Shadow, it should still be, you know … more gentle or giggly something. It is incredibly girly, after all." He made a face at it.

"Hey!" Rui protested, placing her hands on her hips. "Just because it's pink and heart-shaped and associated with girls doesn't mean you have to hate it!"

Wes just rolled his eyes.

"DESTROY!" the fish exclaimed, snapping in their direction (or at least attempting to snap, due to the unfortunate permanent puckering of its mouth). "DESTROY THE BOND! THE BOND IS TOO BRIGHT!"

Espeon nodded wisely. "Yeah, he always gets out of those deathtraps, even though his nemeses always expect him to die. Those silly evil masterminds … What?" he asked defensively, as the others stared at him incredulously. "I can be meta-savvy, can't I?"

"…" Umbreon tried to ignore him. "But what does he mean by a 'bond'? Hmm."

The Luvdisc tried to leap at Rui, imaginary fangs bared, but she just kicked it away. "You know, it wasn't acting like when I first saw it, but when you came over it started freaking out." She took on a thoughtful look. "Maybe it hates you."

Wes snickered. "Wouldn't be the first one, then."

"They might be onto something," Espeon commented, tilting his head to the side thoughtfully.

Umbreon scoffed at him. "What, that everyone's now in a conspiracy to bombard Wes with bad intentions in order to crush the will to fight out of him?"

"That's the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard," Espeon said, causing Umbreon to facefault. "I'm talking about the hate issue going on here. Luvdisc are supposed to be cheery and sweet, aren't they? They can even sense love, and even go out of their ways to draw destined lovers together. But since this one is a Shadow … maybe it's trying to tear Wes and Rui apart instead! Not physically, I mean. Well, actually it would be physically, since they wouldn't be close together, but not physically as in limbs flying all over the place … oh, you know what I mean."

Umbreon blinked. "That … that's actually the smartest theory I've ever heard you come up with."

Espeon grinned. "Thanks! I think …"

"So if it's trying to tear them apart …" Umbreon raised an eyebrow. "Then would that mean … it detects something between them."

"Yeah." Espeon smirked at the two humans, who seemed by now to be taking turns kicking the idiot fish. "I've always suspected it. I wonder if they've suspected it, though I bet they haven't because they've been bickering all the time, which would lead to the whole 'she-is-not-my-girlfriend' denial, although that's only on Wes's part because he's probably not a girl, and that stuff in turn would lead to them always sticking together anyway because they know that they don't know that they don't know that they know that they're lying to themselves about the whole thing, even though part of it is because Wes needs Rui in order to identify the Shadow Pokemon, which is weird because you can always tell which ones are Shadows just by watching them act psychotic, but I guess he lets her stick around anyway because of he's impressed by her incredible psychic aura-reading ability, and also because of the denied 'not-my-girlfriend' thing and the fact that he subconsciously doesn't want her to go out with anyone else, which is a bit counterproductive because at this rate they're never going to go out with each other anyway, because they don't know that they're so in denial and that each of them really does like the other one, and not just in a friend way, because they're obviously in denial—"

"We can hear you, you know," Wes interrupted him.

"… Oh. Right."

Espeon blushed, although not as deeply as Rui and definitely not as deeply as Wes. They two humans made a point of glancing away from each other, chuckling nervously.

"Thank you, fish stick," Umbreon remarked. "You just saved us possibly several months of unresolved romantic tension."

The Luvdisc could only tremble with rage.

*

Coming up next: NostalgiaShipping.

[floracat]

"I HATE YOU!" said fish snarled, flopping around on the ground ridiculously. "I HATE YOU ALL!"

Oh dear god. This part is just too freaking funny.

Wes shook his head in disbelief. "I still don't know what they were thinking. I mean, a Shadow Luvdisc?"

"DIE!" the Shadow Luvdisc shouted, flailing stupidly on its side. "DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! D—"

I LOVE LUVDISC NOW!!!! Oh man, this is just too cute.

"I can't decide," Umbreon said to nobody in particular, "whether that's disturbing or hilarious."

Duh! Hilarious Umbreon.

"Oh, that's easy!" Espeon told her. "The most disturbing things are obviously hilarious, and the most hilarious things are clearly disturbing. So it's a package deal, really!"

Espeon speaks the truth.

"Hey!" Rui protested, placing her hands on her hips. "Just because it's pink and heart-shaped and associated with girls doesn't mean you have to hate it!"

Exactly! Thank you Rui!

"That's the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard," Espeon said, causing Umbreon to facefault. "I'm talking about the hate issue going on here. Luvdisc are supposed to be cheery and sweet, aren't they? They can even sense love, and even go out of their ways to draw destined lovers together. But since this one is a Shadow … maybe it's trying to tear Wes and Rui apart instead! Not physically, I mean. Well, actually it would be physically, since they wouldn't be close together, but not physically as in limbs flying all over the place … oh, you know what I mean."

This is where it gets interesting.

"Yeah." Espeon smirked at the two humans, who seemed by now to be taking turns kicking the idiot fish. "I've always suspected it. I wonder if they've suspected it, though I bet they haven't because they've been bickering all the time, which would lead to the whole 'she-is-not-my-girlfriend' denial, although that's only on Wes's part because he's probably not a girl, and that stuff in turn would lead to them always sticking together anyway because they know that they don't know that they don't know that they know that they're lying to themselves about the whole thing, even though part of it is because Wes needs Rui in order to identify the Shadow Pokemon, which is weird because you can always tell which ones are Shadows just by watching them act psychotic, but I guess he lets her stick around anyway because of he's impressed by her incredible psychic aura-reading ability, and also because of the denied 'not-my-girlfriend' thing and the fact that he subconsciously doesn't want her to go out with anyone else, which is a bit counterproductive because at this rate they're never going to go out with each other anyway, because they don't know that they're so in denial and that each of them really does like the other one, and not just in a friend way, because they're obviously in denial—"

I love this part dude. I just love this part. Go Espeon! (Although, the thing sure can talk alot.)

Espeon blushed, although not as deeply as Rui and definitely not as deeply as Wes. They two humans made a point of glancing away from each other, chuckling nervously.

BEST. SHIP. EVER. Well done darkdragontamer!

"Thank you, fish stick," Umbreon remarked. "You just saved us possibly several months of unresolved romantic tension."

The Luvdisc could only tremble with rage.

And this part ^_^ right here. Awesome. When I get a Luvdisc, I'm calling it fish stick! Oh holy cow. This was AWESOME! Keep up the good stories.

Oh, and do you mind if I attempt to put this on the Colosseumshipping page?

[SugarPesticide]

XD Glad it was to your taste. Indeed, that was definitely one of the crackier ones of the bunch. I should probably write more in that vein, actually. Those are usually the most fun to write ... not that the more romantic ones aren't interesting to do, in their own way. But I haven't written very many that are pure romance, so I can't say for sure.

And yeah, you can put this on that page if you'd like. I feel honored ^_^

[SugarPesticide]

NostalgiaShipping // Grovyle & PMD2 Hero // PG-13

The two slunk through the undergrowth, keeping a wary eye on their surroundings. They knew that any shadow could conceal a potential enemy; any patch of tall grass could hide a trap. True, this was a time of light – none of the fat, lazy, and happy people of this era had even begun to turn Primal yet. But there was always the possibility that the Primal Lord had sent his minions after them to prevent the dark future from being lit. One could never be too careful. It was a lesson that they had learned the hard way.

Grovyle tensed as he caught a brief movement at the corner of his vision, spinning swiftly around with leaf-blades poised to strike; but his so-called enemy turned out to be a little Combee, buzzing happily from flower to fragrant flower. He relaxed slightly, but refused to let down his guard.

"Isn't it strange?" murmured Hera, gazing around at the verdant jungle around them. "All this greenery … I haven't seen anything like it since the Collapse. All of the forests were just ugly and shriveled as hell after that." She shuddered slightly, remembering the evil time they had narrowly escaped.

"I'm green too, if you haven't noticed," Grovyle replied dryly, slinking alongside her past bushes and trees.

"Yes, I've noticed," she admitted, patting his leafy head idly. "Lucky for me. if you weren't there, I might've forgotten that green was a color."

He couldn't help but smile at his human friend's statement. "And if you weren't there, I might have forgotten all about love and hope and ended up turning Primal like the rest of them."

"Now you're being silly," she laughed quietly, wiping her sweaty bangs out of her face.

"I'm being honest," he said, thinking of former good friends who had succumbed to the madness before his very eyes. "I could've turned just like that." He snapped his fingers ruefully.

"Oh, Grovyle," she sighed, shaking her head. He glanced up at her in confusion, but she didn't elaborate.

At length they reached the shore of a small, secluded pond, buzzing with flies and choked with algae. Pausing to catch their breaths, they felt waves of exhaustion, which they had hitherto dammed up to the best of their ability, pound over them mercilessly. There was a loud ringing in Grovyle's ears that he hadn't noticed before, and Hera's feet were so blistered that they resembled raw meat. It was all they could do not to devour all their rations at once, so long had their trek been.

"You know," Hera murmured tiredly, casting her drooping eyes over to the filthy waters, "I haven't had a decent bath in a long time …"

"That doesn't look particularly decent," Grovyle remarked, watching a clump of primordial sludge drift lazily across the pond's green surface.

She managed to raise an eyebrow. "Compared to some of the things we drank in the dark future, this is practically pasteurized."

"Touché."

She fingered at the edges of her sweat-soaked shirt. "Strange that I haven't taken this outfit off since it all went to hell … What?" she demanded weakly, noticing Grovyle's gaze.

"Well ..." He glanced away awkwardly, more out of habit than anything. "We've been going out for a long time, haven't we?"

"If going out means kicking ass together, left, right, and center, then yeah, we have."

"And we trust each other more than anything. I don't think love goes much deeper than that. So …" He trailed off, shifting awkwardly. "Maybe we should take a moment to, you know, seal the deal."

She shot him a weary glare. "Grovyle."

"Hmm?"

"We're in the middle of a potentially lethal jungle, possibly teeming with the Primal Lord's spies, and we're on a mission to avert the dark future before it begins in this time. Celebi's counting on us, she's holding Dusknoir off for us … that is, if he hasn't gotten past her already. We need rest, we're in a hurry, and you want to put all that off just to sleep with me?"

He cringed with embarrassment.

"I would've thought your priority would be to kick their asses out of the picture," she added.

"Yes, but then I met you."

"Touché."

"Hera, if we actually manage to succeed, we'll be erased from existence. We might never have another chance …" He faltered, already aware that he'd lost the argument.

She sighed. "Grovyle, as much as that tempts me, we can't put our happiness above the condition of the future. You know that."

He hung his head. "You're right, Hera, as usual. I'm sorry."

She smiled and put her lips to his sweaty forehead. "So am I, but that's just the way it is. Now, would you mind scouting the perimeter and giving me some privacy?"

"Sure." He slowly pushed himself to his feet, cringing as they ached in protest. "For you." Nodding towards her, he braced himself, took a deep breath, and began to dart through the undergrowth again, vanishing almost instantly into the dense clusters of leaves.

"Thank you," she called softly after him, a non-ironic giggle escaping her lips for the first time in a long while.

Her words were faint, but he heard them all the same. You're welcome, he thought, allowing a smile to brighten his face as he took off …

… Only for it to flip upside-down as a terrible scream ripped the air behind him. Whirling around in a flurry of leaf-blades and panic, he sprinted back the way he had come, small feet digging viciously into the earth as crashed through the undergrowth, no longer caring if he was heard.

He burst back onto the shore of the pond just in time to see a floating flare of darkness wink out of existence. Blinking, he cast his eyes swiftly about the area, wondering where she could have gone: her clothes were scattered here and there, shredded to ribbons, but Hera herself was nowhere in sight. Otherwise, everything was exactly as he'd left it. There didn't seem to be any signs of a struggle, though that scream had suggested otherwise.

"Hera!" Grovyle called out, worry etched into his tone. He focused his attention on listening, alert for any noise that might suggest she had been taken in a particular direction.

No returning shout greeted him.

"HERA!"

Still no response.

He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling a sense of hopelessness wash over him. How could this happen? He'd literally turned his back on her for a minute, and she'd somehow been snatched away. He should have stayed here with her, in spite of her protests, to make sure she was safe …

Then he thought of the dark future, and the Time Gears that would prevent it. His hands curled into fists as he opened his eyes partially, narrow slits staring determinedly at what remained of his love. "You were right, Hera," he said to nobody in particular. "Our mission comes first. I don't know what happened to you, but rest assured I'll finish this all for you. And if I find the bastard who took you …"

An overhanging Weepinbell dropped down towards his head, drooling mouth poised to strike as it fell. Without looking up, Grovyle swept a glowing leaf-blade over his head in a shining arc, slicing at the pitcher plant and swiftly knocking it out. As it hit the ground, he lifted his determined gaze towards the sky, glaring into the shadows that evaded the filtered sunlight.

"There'll be hell to pay."

*

Coming up next: RangerShipping.

[floracat]

Well, pretty good chapter. I always wondered what happened before the game starts. Shame you don't take requests.

[SugarPesticide]

Yes, it is a shame. It was highly entertaining seeing what sorts of pairings people could come up with. Seriously, Golem/Doduo, what was that I didn't even.

*

RangerShipping // Lunick & Solana // PG

It wasn't easy being Top Rangers, but somehow the two of them managed to pull it off, with the added bonus of an actual social life on the side. Now the two were off on a dangerous trek through forest-covered mountains, with only each other and their trusted partners to turn to. Their mission: discover why all the Houndoom were inexplicably migrating in this direction, and stop them if it was deemed necessary. Such a perilous adventure could only be given to talented, experienced Rangers, so being chosen was obviously considered to be a great honor.

Lunick, of course, didn't see it that way.

"You know," he remarked, after finally managing to pull himself over a cliff's edge and avoid a terrible and messy death, "everyone could've saved so much time by just implanting a tracking device in one of those Houndoom. Then we could monitor their movements from headquarters, see their destination, and voila, problem solved."

Solana nodded reluctantly. "True. But if they were part of some sinister scheme, a tracking device wouldn't do much good in breaking them up, now would it?"

"That's what helicopters are for," he quipped. She ignored that remark, simply patting his head instead.

Once he had managed to get his breath back, the two continued to climb the face of the mountain, keeping an eye on a lone Houndoom padding far ahead of them. This was their main lead, for they had been following the beast for the past several days, keeping their distance as they let it unwittingly guide them towards its destination. It was only too easy to get lost in these woods, and most of the time it was only the dog that prevented them from wandering aimlessly as well.

What soon happened was therefore inevitable.

"What d'you mean, 'he's gone'?" Lunick asked Minun incredulously. The little blue mouse just shrugged.

"Well, I guess we'll have to just go and look for him," Solana sighed, glancing around as if the hound were about to randomly pop up out of nowhere. "Come on." She started off in one direction with Plusle at her heels, realized that there was a lack of footsteps behind her, and turned around again to see Lunick still standing where she'd left him, hands in his pockets and head hanging down. "Lunick, what's wrong?"

"It's hopeless," Lunick sighed dejectedly, not seeming to notice Minun patting his head. "We've been doing this for so long, and I honestly don't know if I can take much more of this. I mean, I'm so tired, and cold, and … what was that other one?" His stomach rumbled on cue. "Right, hungry. And I just want to turn around and go back and take a nice long nap …"

"Oh, Lunick." Solana walked back over to him, shaking her head and smiling. "Listen to yourself. Have we ever let anything stop us before? No, of course not! We've battled vicious Pokemon, and the Go-Rock Squad, and worse yet, the bureaucracy. Those weren't some very pleasant things to go up against, I'll agree with you there. But they never got us to back down, never!"

Lunick frowned thoughtfully. "… I guess not …"

"And even in our darkest hours, we've never given up. You know why? It's because we've always had each other." She gazed at him fondly, then reached out and seized him in a hug. "And I need you to stay with me, Lunick. Because I can't do this on my own."

"Plus!"

"Sorry, Plusle!" she gasped, nerves singing and hair frazzled at her indignant mouse's Thundershock.

Lunick, whose hair was also standing on end, managed a grin. "I guess you're right," he admitted. "You always did see the silver lining, Solana."

After several minutes of hugging and jealous shocks from Plusle and Minun, the two Rangers continued up the mountain, hoping that they were headed in the right direction. They had been stumbling over the rocky terrain for nearly half an hour when a distant howling sound made them pause. "Did you hear that?" Solana asked a bit nervously, looking over at her partner.

"Yeah." His eyes narrowed in thought, then widened in realization. "It must be all the Houndoom!"

"It's coming from this way!" she exclaimed, pointing. The two of them resumed their trek at a more hurried pace, carefully darting over stones and roots to avoid tripping and twisting their ankles.

When they finally made their way out of the forest and to the edge of a short cliff, they had to blink several times to make sure their eyes weren't deceiving them.

Below them stood a short platform, ringed by a throng of over a hundred baying Houndoom. The dogs were facing the strange scene on the platform: it was a blue-haired man, bound in ropes and strapped upside-down to a tall pole. He was giggling like a maniac, and it was easy to see why: the nearest Houndoom were all licking at his face and hands, or scrambling over each other in their attempts to cover him in slobbery dog kisses. Nearby stood a gleeful-looking young woman, who had demonic wings and horns for some reason.

"C-call your dogs off!" the man managed to gasp in between bouts of laughter. "Call them off, p-please!"

"You have to promise you'll marry me, Marth," the demonic woman replied, grinning evilly.

"N-no!" he choked out weakly.

"You sure? I think you might end up changing your mind," she said with a smirk, watching him dissolve into a giggle-induced spasm as the dogs continued to lick him, tails wagging.

From their vantage position, Solana and Lunick glanced at each other. "… Huh," Solana said finally.

"Should we stop them?" Lunick asked, watching the scene nervously.

Solana shrugged. "It doesn't look like it's causing any harm. Permanent physical harm, anyway. And it does give me an idea or two …" She turned to grin at her partner mischievously.

Lunick turned deathly pale. "Oh no …"

*

Coming up next: RepairShipping.

[floracat]

Ha ha ha ha ha! That part at the end had me cracking up. Not your best, romantic wise anyway, but the part at the end with that women and the Houndoom..... Yeah, awesome job dude.

[SugarPesticide]

Yes, I know. I'm sorry D: It was either that or have them randomly make out in a tree or something, which I wasn't going to do. But this should help make up for that lack of romantic-ness, because OMG MARRIAGE AND FLUFF YAYZ even if it's between some of those Ranger people that nobody but a few fangirls seem to know about. And this isn't really that original either since it was mostly based on an actual scene, because yes, this ship is in fact canon. And yet, like AccordShipping, even its supporters don't seem to write for it. Go figure.

*

RepairShipping // Ollie & Elaine // G

The violin music drifted across the neatly trimmed lawn, sweet and soothing, but it did nothing to ease Elaine's nerves. She wondered for the hundredth time if they were really ready for this, fidgeting ever so slightly at the thought. Panic was starting to creep up again, and for one agonizingly long moment she considered running away. She half-consciously planned the scene: darting through short green grass in those dainty shoes, weaving through the seats of her friends and family as they stared after her openmouthed.

Should she run? Should she leave this all behind?

Then Professor Hasting smiled and took her arm, and she was being escorted through the rose-covered arch and into the sunlight.

It seemed that everyone she knew was there: Kate, grinning like an idiot; Kellyn and Keith, for once pausing their bickering to gape at her; Rhythmi and Linda, looking as if they were about to squeal in excitement; Barlow, face set into a scowl in an attempt to stem emotion; Crawford, who was bawling his eyes out; Isaac, the DSi on his lap temporarily forgotten; Spenser, blinking just a little too often … all in their best outfits, all respectfully silent, all anticipating what was to come.

And there at the altar, at the end of that path cutting through them all, stood Ollie.

She couldn't help but blush and grin at the sight of his beaming face. Had it really been only a year ago that they had found him in the woods, lost and confused and scared? And now … now he was so much more confident, more talkative and eager to lend a hand. How could she have ever thought of leaving him there at the altar?

They drew closer, walking ever so slowly. Her Dragonair, as well as Kate's and Kellyn's Pachirisu, moved ahead of them, acting as the bridesmaids. They were dressed in tassels and ribbons and bows, much to the chagrin of Kellyn's relatively masculine Pachirisu. In another setting, the humorous situation would have drawn out a flood of giggles, but here there was simply the sound of the violins and the rustle of her shoes against the grass.

The Pokemon bridesmaids scattered flowers throughout the air, pink and purple and white flowers that were almost as lovely as the bouquet she held in her shaking hands. She wasn't exactly sure who had brought it, but there was something about its sweet scent that calmed her down slightly.

With every step her heart pounded more wildly against her ribs, as she grew simultaneously more terrified of what was happening and more grateful that she hadn't acted on that terror.

As they reached the path's end, the Professor smiled even more broadly, lifting the glittery veil from her face and backing away towards his seat at the front of the assembly. There was nothing to hide her glistening wet eyes from them, now. But she could hardly care at this point, for her eyes were for Ollie and Ollie alone.

He took her free hand gently, wearing his shy sweet smile as always, and it was all she could do not to burst into joyous tears.

The minister said something about how they were all gathered to witness a fine union. She couldn't hear him, nor did she need to. The assembly was watching it; she and Ollie were living it.

It was as if the rest of the universe had ceased to exist, if only for a little while.

And then they were saying their I do's and he was slipping that shining silver ring on her finger, and the minister at last allowed them to break the tension and she was dropping the bouquet thoughtlessly as she leapt into his arms and kissed him, tears streaming down her face as the violins sang a celebratory tune.

There was a flash of pure light, and the surprised newlyweds and assembly glanced towards it, realizing in astonishment that the bouquet had transformed into a dainty green-and-white creature that floated close beside them, smiling happily up at them. As they all gazed in wonder at it, the fox-like Pokemon rose higher into the air, gently touching noses with Elaine and then Ollie. Then it soared off, scattering sweet flowers across the entire setting as it did so, sending the flora raining on snoring elders and wide-eyed children alike.

As it flew towards the distant horizon, the entire assembly cheered for the astonished newlyweds. Their marriage had been blessed by Shaymin; none could doubt this union now, and none could dream to, for none could hope to find a better omen.

And all of this was only the beginning.

*

Coming up next: IpanemaShipping.

[floracat]

You're right. This chapter did make up for the lack of romance in the last chapter. I've always loved weddings, they make everyone happy!! I like the idea of Pokemon as bridesmaids. I can just imagine it, and it's so cute!

[SugarPesticide]

Ha, yes, they would be very cute as bridesmaids. Even Mewtwo would look pretty in one of those dresses. Wasn't there actually an anime episode where Pikachu and Buneary were bridesmaids or something? I can easily imagine that scenario happening in a PearlShipping fic, actually.

And yay for more random Ranger fluff. A lot of my Ranger stuff seems to be like that, but meh.

*

IpanemaShipping // Keith & Rhythmi // G

Keith swung his legs back and forth over the water, feeling bored. "So how about those two new kids coming over from Fiore, huh?"

"Huh?" Rhythmi glanced over at him, tearing her gaze from the rippling ocean horizon.

The boy resisted the urge to sigh, instead tapping his fingers against the wooden dock. To say his friend was a little out of it would be a massive understatement. "Remember? Mr. Kincaid said a couple of newbies were coming all the way from Fiore to be at this school."

She blinked at him. "Aren't we newbies?"

"I mean newer than us," he amended.

"Oh. Right. Um …"

She trailed off into awkward silence again. They stared out at the small shapes of boats drifting along deep blue currents, bobbing up and down ever so slightly. Boats, like the one those new kids would be arriving on any day now … Keith bit his lip. Why was he so anxious? They'd just be students like him, no big deal.

"You're kind of on edge," Rhythmi remarked after a sufficiently long pause, watching a Wingull flap awkwardly above the waters. "Is something wrong?"

He shook his head automatically. "Of course not," he denied hastily. "Just a weird feeling, is all."

"Huh." Rhythmi blinked, but otherwise kept her eyes on the bird. "That's too bad. You get kind of cute when you're worried." She smiled dreamily.

Keith stared at her for a long, long, long while. And then he stared some more.

"Well, I'm off to get a stick of sweet cotton candy," she said, pushing herself into an upright position. She stretched, yawning widely as the salty ocean breeze tossed her hair about. Then she turned towards the still-sitting, still-staring Keith, her hand stretched out to him. "Coming?"

Through his state of numb shock, he replayed her "cute" comment over and over again in his mind, vaguely considering that, while new students might indeed be a cause of concern, the present was certainly more of an excitement.

"S-sure," he managed to stutter, grasping her hand.

As for the Wingull, it found considerable amusement through chuckling to itself about that highly awkward conversation. Its laughter was abruptly cut short upon crashing painfully into the window of a seaside dentist office. Naturally, the two kids were too wrapped up in their own dazed thoughts to notice.

*

Coming up next: SylphShipping.

[floracat]

Pretty short. But it was still kinda cute! I've always imagined Rhythmi to be like that. And that Wingull thing was super funny!

[xxbaconxx]

I like your fan fics here. The last one was really funny.
I never excpected a Wingull to be like that.

[SugarPesticide]

The Wingull was to keep it from being too boring, since I didn't really know what to do with that one either ;_; Plus Finding Nemo was on my mind at the time. But yeah, thanks.

*

SylphShipping // Celebi & Jirachi // PG

Jirachi had a bigger sleeping problem than any other Pokemon, leaving her in a dormant state for entire millennia at a time. Celebi had that uncontrollable urge to constantly flit through time, living a uniquely nonlinear existence that almost nobody could relate to. Had they been paired up with anyone besides each other, the relationships might have fallen apart at the snap of the fingers. Together, however, they were perfect, a match made in heaven.

It was so easy to spend time together: Celebi would appear during Jirachi's rare week-long periods of waking, and they would make sure to spend as much time together as was Pokemonly possible. And when the time came again for Jirachi to snuggle into her sleeping place and wrap her wish-tags around her body like little blankets, Celebi would have no trouble simply traveling forwards, or backwards, or perhaps even sideways through time to a point when she was once again awake. Or, perhaps, he would simply visit her while she slept and give her Absol guardian a much-needed break, protecting her from the unlikely yet entirely possible risk of a threat approaching.

Relationships certainly could be unusual between beings that existed in five dimensions at once. Of course, this made their attempts had being relatively normal even stranger.

"Could you pass the jelly?" Celebi asked, as he spread peanut butter on one half of his sandwich.

Jirachi smiled and reached out to him, the filled jar grasped in both tiny hands. "Of course!"

"Thanks!" He grasped it happily, unscrewing the lid and using a knife to spread some across the rest of his sandwich. "Did I ever tell you how great you are, Jirachi?"

"Only every waking moment," she teased.

"Well, I do exist in every moment multiple times," he said, raising an eyebrow. "But you're right, even with that note in mind, I do think of you that often. You might say you're on my mind all the time."

She giggled bashfully, blushing slightly.

They sat on a picnic blanket in the middle of a green, grassy field, dotted here and there with broad-leaved trees and fluffy-looking bushes. The calls of a small flock of Starly could be heard as the little winged forms soared above them, heading towards the horizon. It was a stunning attempt at normality, and yet a rather effective one, for they themselves were the only supernatural things to be seen for miles around.

Or at least, so they thought.

"Victory in the HOUSE!"

Upon hearing the voice from above, they glanced upward in unison, and their eyes widened in surprise at the sight of a small figure growing larger very rapidly. Half a second later, it had landed with a cringe-worthy crash, flattening poor Celebi into the picnic blanket.

"Oh no!" Jirachi gasped, darting forward in alarm. "Are you both okay?"

"Yes," the two Pokemon groaned as one.

"That move didn't go as well as I expected," the newcomer added, examining his bruises as he pushed himself off of Celebi and onto his feet. "But it doesn't matter. I! Will! Have! VICTORY!"

And he jumped into a cheesy pose, flashing a V-sign with his claws.

"Good for you, Victini," Celebi said tersely, wincing as he poked his bruises gingerly. "But do you mind? We were having a nice picnic before you fell out of nowhere."

"Picnics are AWESOME!" Victini exclaimed. "Can I hang here for a while, and use this food to build up the strength for victory?"

The two glanced at each other. This was supposed to be their private time together, for just the two of them, but it would be incredibly rude to send him off. "… Okay," Jirachi said cautiously.

"Righteous!" Victini yelled happily. Celebi fumed silently.

For the next half hour, the two were forced to listen to the fire bunny go on and on about his latest accomplishments (or "victories", as he preferred to call them), while winking rather flirtatiously at Jirachi every now and then. Naturally he didn't notice that she was fidgeting about, feeling awkward and bored at the situation. And Celebi … well, Celebi found his patience running out very quickly. He wanted nothing more than to put Victini in his place.

But what could he do? In a conflict, he'd be at a clear type disadvantage. He certainly couldn't let Jirachi keep feeling this uncomfortable. And they were wasting their precious time together …

"That's it!" he exclaimed to nobody in particular. "Time! Of course!"

And before the other two could give him confused looks, he'd thrown himself several centuries backwards in time.

He noticed when he reappeared that the field looked quite similar to its present day form: sunny, green, grassy, and peaceful. There was, however, a towering apple tree some distance away, its branches heavy with fruit. An idea forming in his head, he fluttered over to the tree, rising into the air so he could pluck off a shiny red apple with ease.

Turning around, he started to fly back, only to realize that he wasn't exactly sure which spot he had come from. All this grass was just so similar …

With a shrug, he simply headed towards a likely spot, landing lightly on the ground. His eyes glowed a faint green, and a flock of sparkling leaves popped into existence around him, whistling almost eagerly. Using his mind, he directed them towards the spot in front of him, and they swooped down, digging slightly into the earth before flying up again, creating a strange flurry of motion as they circled around. In almost no time at all, there was a small hole sitting before him. He tossed the apple in, letting hit the ground with a satisfying thump before directing the leaves to sweep the dirt over it. Once the hole had been filled in, the leaves shimmered out of existence, leaving him alone in the field.

"This should work," he muttered to himself as he leapt forward in time again.

He reappeared some distance from the spot from the picnic, hovering beside a towering apple tree that certainly hadn't been there before. Jirachi, Victini, and another version of himself didn't seem to have noticed any sudden appearance, however. It had presumably already been there in this timeline, and in any case two of them were staring at the third for his surprising outburst: "That's it! Time! Of course!"

"Bugger!" Celebi muttered to himself, casting himself back through time.

He arrived back in the past, just as the other version of himself had summoned the Magical Leaves. Noticing the apple in the other's hand, he swooped down and snatched it.

"It won't work here!" he said, ignoring the other's exclamation of surprise. "We need to go further!"

The other blinked, then shrugged and nodded, swiftly winking out of existence and creating a time-space paradox. The trick with a paradox, however, is that it cannot technically exist if it is not thought about. Having learned the hard way about this, Celebi was very, very careful not to consider the issue. He didn't want to accidentally unleash another eldritch abomination in Tokyo, after all.

Taking control of the Leaves that had remained, he fluttered over some yards to a new spot, created another whole, set the apple in it, and filled it again. His work accomplished, he smiled to himself in satisfaction, casting himself forward in time once more.

He reappeared in the present day, surrounded by the leafy green of an apple tree's foliage. Fluttering forward a few feet, he peeked through a gap in the branches to see the picnic directly beneath him. He felt rather pleased to see that none of this change had been seen as unusual by Jirachi, Victini, and himself ("That's it! Time! Of course!")

Knowing he had to take advantage of the element of surprise, Celebi cast his eyes about for an apple. Finding one, he pinched the small branch it was dangling from, causing it to rapidly age and wither to the point that it could no longer support the apple's weight.

Below him, his other self winked out of that time, leaving Victini stunned enough that he didn't register the ominous snap and whistle until the large apple had conked him hard on the head.

The fire legend blinked, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. "Peace," he grunted vaguely, automatically flashing a V-sign before toppling backwards into a dead faint.

"Victini?" Jirachi asked, frowning at him in confusion. She looked upwards, noticed Celebi grinning at her, and brightened considerably. He could almost see the gears in her head turning rapidly. "Celebi! Did you do this?"

"Indeed," he replied. He turned his attention to Victini, and the fire bunny, no longer able to resist his powers, was unceremoniously tossed backwards in time. "I didn't want him to keep bothering you. I do wish he'd grow up."

"So do I," she agreed, as he fluttered down to her. "Thank you so much, Celebi, he was starting to freak me out."

"You sleep for a thousand years and he freaks you out?" he teased.

"Well, of course!" she laughed, hugging him. "He tries too hard to be normal."

"He does indeed." He smiled again and gently kissed her forehead. "Now, where were we before that unpleasant interruption?"

She thought about that for a moment. "Something about time?" she guessed.

"Possibly." He shrugged and let her go with one hand, using it to rummage around in the picnic basket. "Time for some cupcakes?"

She nodded eagerly. "Time for some cupcakes."

And so it was that they kept their grip on a little piece of normality, in spite of the apple tree which, what with the new distortions and ambiguities in space-time, may or may not have actually been growing there beside them. But it's best not to consider that.

*

Coming up next: ElegantShipping.

[floracat]

Celebi and Jirachi. One of my two favorite legendary's.

I really liked this one. I loved Victini, he was kinda funny. Even better, I liked Celebi's apple tree idea. Poor Victini.

[SugarPesticide]

XD Victini is awesome.

Warning: The PG13-rating is not for sex jokes or gory action, but for parodying a touchy event in recent American history. If it offends you, feel free to call me a cold, heartless monster.

*

ElegantShipping // Leafeon & Glaceon // PG-13

Keba really hated Gira right now.

If only she hadn't insisted that the three of them split up for this vacation in Middle-Earth. She seemed to be under the impression that since misery loved company, it was only natural that the craziest and mind-screwiest adventures happened when they were together. As such, she had proposed that they should all go their separate ways for a while, and meet up later on when the portal to their home world was due to reopen. When he'd protested, the Gardevoir then made an alternate proposal involving his tail, Mount Doom, and a screwdriver.

Gira could be very convincing when she needed to be.

As most of the tourist locations were already fully booked, the trio had drawn straws to see who would go where. Keba, of course, had been unlucky enough to end up with Minas Morgul, which not only sounded dreadfully distressing but was sure to make him ill from a severe lack of sunlight. It did give him some amusement when Gira ended up with Mirkwood, though. From the look on her face it seemed that she, too, understood the irony in sending the fair maiden into the land of elves. He only wished he could somehow sneak behind her to watch that unfold.

Chia the Wynaut would be heading towards the mines of Moria. Gira hadn't been particularly worried about that, although Keba certainly had been. After all, such an adventure was sure to end with a great deal of pain and bloodshed, product of an epic battle between her and a Balrog. One of those would be a terrifying, mysterious, and seriously underestimated creature, and the other would be just a Balrog. He felt rather sorry for it.

But as for him, he would rather be watching that battle than having to deal with this right now, even if he was seated next to a very pretty Glaceon who had introduced herself as Glinda. Because if that separation hadn't happened, he wouldn't have had to hurry around all the time to get to three different connected flights, or feel serious nausea and anxiety whenever his plane took off or touched down, or have to deal with the current hijacking incident going on.

"Attention, passengers!" A strange voice was crackling through the speakers, almost blocking out the crackling of lightning as they flew through Mordor's sky of ominously black clouds. "This is your friendly terrorist speaking! We are currently at an altitude of four thousand, eight hundred ninety-three feet, heading east by southeast to our final destination. We will be arriving in approximately thirty minutes, at which time this plane to crash fatally and dramatically into Minas Morgul. If you would prefer an alternate method of death, please remember that there are a limited number of parachutes beside the escape hatch, and try not to curse at all the tears I made in most of them. I worked hard on them, you see. Thank you for your attention, and we hope you enjoy the limited amount of time you have left. Please try not to panic too much."

Naturally, much panicking ensued.

"Aw, no you didn't!" somebody shouted angrily. "Too soon for that, fool, too soon!"

"Too soon?" the voice replied inexplicably. "My dear little runt, it's been nine whole years. And personally, I think that the genocides and holocausts and massacres and wars and collapses of civilizations that all cost millions of lives should cause more shock and outrage than a little plane crash. But that's publicity for you. Any other overly outspoken victims?"

"This is an outrage!" a Lucario yelled, glaring up the aisle at the closed door separating the passenger cabin from the cockpit. "I have half a mind to go up there and beat him to a pulp!"

"Very heroic of you, New Bus," the voice from the cockpit said dryly. "And I suppose you know how to fly a plane?"

New Bus turned pale and said nothing.

Keba groaned and slid down further in his seat. "Great," he moaned, covering his face with his leafy green ears. "Just great. I hope Gira's happy for sending me to my death. I'm going to give her such a hard time about it when I come back as a vengeful spirit that can only be vanquished by young weirdoes with a Technicolor van and a catchy theme song, or by older weirdoes with an ambulance with a makeover and an even catchier theme song, or by some little kid or young woman who talks me into leaving everybody alone and basically brainwashes me, which is an oxymoron if you think about it, because souls obviously don't have brains, although how they can remember who to haunt after death is beyond me."

Glinda sighed and shook her head. "Keba, Keba, what are you saying? We'll all live."

"Doesn't look like it." He glanced out the window, where the hellish landscape of Mordor could be seen beneath them, and swallowed hard, covering his face again. Why did the ticket people always put him in the window seat?

"But it's true." Her eyes narrowed cunningly. "I'll make sure of it."

He peeked curiously over at her from between his ears. "How?"

She didn't answer right away, instead glancing over her shoulder before saying in a low voice, "I'm an ice witch."

"A nice witch?"

"An ice witch. Although, I'm not cruel, and I didn't mean to imply that I was … you see, Keba, when I evolved at Ice Rock, a mysterious god blessed me with the power to manipulate ice as I desire. He – or she, I can't truly remember which it was – left me no instructions, but departed instantly. Since that day I have searched for that lonely god, while using my powers for good. I must keep it a secret, however, since I once made the mistake of summoning a blizzard to freeze a den of thieves, and the townspeople tried to burn me at the stake." She sighed, lowering her head so that her long ears drooped past the sides of her face dramatically. "It has been a lonely time."

Keba blinked. "… That's interesting," was all he could think of to say.

"Thank you," Glinda told him. "Now, I must stop this terrorist, lest I pay for it with all our lives in the wreckage of Minas Morgul." She stood up, stretched the kinks out of her legs, and looked over her shoulder at him. "Follow me, Keba. I will need your help in defeating him."

"Uh …" Keba blinked again. "I don't think so. You see, I don't know anything about magic, so there's no way I can help you cast a spell or summon a blizzard or something. Although, I don't think you'd need my help anyway, since most ice Pokemon are perfectly capable of summoning blizzards without any help. Which is interesting, since none of that is considered magic …"

"Keba," she said sternly, pointedly ignoring that last observation, "I did not say you had a choice in the matter. You will come with me whether you like it or not."

She whipped her ears around, summoning an icy breeze that lifted the Leafeon off of his seat. She then hopped into the aisle and strolled briskly towards the front of the plane, and Keba, though he struggled to stop hovering, couldn't stop the chilly breeze from carrying him along behind him. Most passengers failed to notice them, being either overly panicky or broodingly reflective; the few who did notice them watched them cautiously, hoping they weren't about to do something stupid.

Only too soon they had reached the door separating them from what appeared to be certain doom. It was clearly locked shut, but Glinda, looking utterly unfazed, stood on her hind legs, placing the front ones on the door and concentrating.

"S-surely you can't be serious!" Keba protested, teeth chattering.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, Keba, if anyone's sure about anything around here, it's me. And don't call me Sirius."

The door abruptly slid open. Smiling to herself, Glinda padded inside, Keba trying and failing not to hover after her.

The cockpit wasn't a mess. Controls weren't ripped out, buttons weren't smashed, the forward window wasn't cracked, and the walls weren't full of bullet holes. In fact, the only thing that suggested something horribly wrong was going on was the human pilot, bound, gagged, and tossed in a corner. He was making a valiant effort to free himself, but it wasn't working, because he was just a human.

"Why hello there, inferior guests," the hijacker said cheerfully, swiveling his chair around to reveal his features: long, blue, snakelike, his head winged and horned, his neck and tail dotted with sparkling orbs. "Come to visit my lair of conquest, have you? Very thoughtful. I am Bernie, the Evil Dragonair." He puffed out what passed for a chest, allowing himself an evil smirk.

"Isn't that an oxymoron?" Glinda observed casually.

Bernie blinked, deflating. "A what?"

"When one situation or person is in blatant contradiction with one of its attributes," Keba explained, still twisting in midair. "Like this, for example. Dragonair aren't evil: they're supposed to be very peaceful, helping to calm storms with their supernatural weather abilities and preferring to avoid trouble when they can. An Evil Dragonair is an oxymoron."

"Oh? Well, you may believe what you like, my leafy friend, but I am still evil! As evil as an evil being can dare to be evil, that's how evil I am!"

"Um, that was a rather structurally awkward sentence," Keba remarked cautiously.

"Yes," Bernie agreed, suddenly all coldness. "Yes, it was. And I suppose that is why everyone I come across must mock me for having a fifth-grade education. You all laugh, feeling oh so pleased about your fancy caps and gowns and flimsy diplomas and PhDs compared to my lost life of broken crayons and red grading stamps, never once considering that perhaps life was not as pleasant for me as it must have been in your cushy three-bedroom homes with the fireplace and the dog and the and the jovial father with his newspaper and the sweet plump mother fixing up a sautéed roast every night, while I was forced to watch my father's brains drip from his skull as the tax collectors laughed to themselves and squabbled over the still-smoking gun, leaving me with the terrible responsibility of supporting my extensive yet steadily dwindling family as the leaves shriveled and died and the snow howled in a terrible storm …"

He trailed off dramatically, gazing out the window at the smoky clouds outside.

"Holy crap," Keba breathed, misty-eyed. "Are you serious?"

Bernie smiled at him. "Nope! Ha, you idiots actually believed that? It's one of the most clichéd Tragic Villainous Backstories™ in the history of everything! Now, it's been fun screwing with you fools, but I've got a plane to crash, so if you'll just let me destroy you fairly in an unfair fight, how about we—"

He abruptly stopped speaking, realizing belatedly that Glinda had been charging an icy white orb of tremendous power this whole time.

"Oh, sh—"

She nodded sharply at the dragon, ears flapping decisively, and the magic icy orb whistled from in front of her face, through the air, and into Bernie's skin as it slammed him against the ground with enough force to rock the plane itself ever so slightly; as it did, it exploded into a flurry of enormous blue snowflakes that solidified around him, gradually encasing him in a thick layer of ice.

Naturally, it was impossible for him to move.

Keba and Glinda blinked at him.

He completely and utterly failed to blink back.

"HERO TIME!" New Bus shouted heroically, bursting into the cockpit and swinging his fists around stupidly. "Put your hands up, you fiend! I'll drive the plane myself before letting you keep it in your grubby, slimy little paws – oh, he didn't kill the pilot. Sweet!"

And the two Eeveelutions simply watched as the late Lucario stepped over to the bound human, rubbed his chin for a moment, and then punched him hard in the face.

The pilot jerked awake. This was a perfectly natural thing to happen, for nobody wants to be punched in the face twice by a Lucario. "Huh? What? Where's the – who're – what's my—"

"Bad news, driver!" New exclaimed obnoxiously. "If you don't get over it, we're all going to die!"

The pilot glanced blearily out the window, groaned, and rubbed his temples. Clearly he was not having a good day.

Keba sighed. "Hooray, we've finished with this snake on this plane, but I'm still hovering. Glinda, could you put me down?"

*

When at last the slightly woozy pilot had managed to land safely at the airport near Minas Morgul, the passengers were only too happy to disembark, Keba most of all. He stepped onto the sweet, sweet ground once more, and at that moment he vowed never to ride a plane again. From now on it would be strictly foot travel, trains, cars, buses, bicycles, motorcycles, boats, horses, unicorns, tanks, giant seahorses, teleportation, inter-dimensional portals, and any other mode of transportation not involving flight.

Bernie was nowhere to be seen. The droves of armed forces that had arrived to apprehend any ill consequences were baffled at this turn of events. Keba wasn't, of course. It was only natural that the villain should escape justice and even logic, regardless of such situations as being frozen solid in ice, on a plane with parachutes only operable by opposable thumbs. New Bus, who as the designated hero had taken all the credit, was trying to convince everyone that Bernie had been somehow killed by a nonlethal blow and been reincarnated as himself, but almost nobody was idiotic enough to believe that.

The Leafeon sighed and shook his head. He missed bright and sunny days that weren't ironic.

"Heading somewhere, Keba?"

Somewhat surprised, he looked over to see Glinda approaching him, her luggage rolling along on the tarmac behind her. A distant volcano behind her spewed brilliant lava, casting a faint orange glow against her pale blue fur and causing it to shimmer slightly in the light.

He almost smiled. If there was one thing he was going to miss about this incident, it would be her, never mind all that hovering she had put him through. "Oh, I don't know," he replied, glancing at his own luggage. "I should probably start with finding a hotel, and then maybe look for a decent tour group to join. Someone tried to convince me that Minas Morgul looks stunning around mid-evening, so I might as well see if that's true, if nothing else."

"Sounds like a good plan," she said, nodding. "Mind if I walk with you?"

He blinked at the unexpected question. "Um, sure, I don't mind."

They began their stroll through the city, leaving that airport and its cursed plane behind in exchange for buildings with fascinating, twisted architecture and locals, many of whom were rather curious about the recent hullaballoo. "Keba," Glinda asked, as they passed a club full of break-dancing orcs, "I want to thank you for what you did earlier."

"Thank me?" He raised an eyebrow. "For what? All I did was float around while you cast the spell that stopped Bernie and saved us all. I did nothing."

"Funny," she replied, also raising an eyebrow, "but I distinctly remember only being able to charge the Cryo Sphere thanks to a certain Leafeon managing to distract Bernie the Evil Dragonair with technicalities and said Evil Dragonair's own psychotic ego. After all, if said Leafeon hadn't distracted said Evil Dragonair, I have no doubt whatsoever that said Evil Dragonair would have noticed me immediately and wiped us both out with a single Flamethrower."

"I … I … that was nothing," Keba stammered, blushing faintly without knowing why. "I-it was just common sense, that's all. You learn a lot about its uses when dragged into crazy situations involving crazy monsters and killers and spirits and stalkers and rickrollers. But I can't do anything a nice witch can do."

"An ice witch, Keba," she corrected, stopping and smiling at him; out of habit as well as politeness, he stopped and faced her. "That's just it; it's not just common sense. It's hard to have it when you're an ice witch, after all, since there's so much magic and god-searching to do with it. I suppose you could say that common sense is really uncommon sense. In a way, you saved the day with your power."

He considered that angle. "Well, when you put it that way …"

She grinned at him and, to his utter astonishment, leaned forward and licked him softly on the cheek. "Glad you can see that," she said, taking advantage of his stunned silence and locking her deep blue eyes into his soft brown ones.

He looked into her eyes.

She looked into his.

He looked into hers.

She looked into his.

He looked into hers.

She looked into his.

He looked into—

"Oh, forget suspense, I like what I see, okay?"

And he planted a kiss on Glinda's mouth.

He still hadn't forgiven Gira for getting him into that mess. He was still going to give her an incredibly hard time about it, regardless of what her response afterward might be. But for now, he might ease up on his nagging, by which he meant he would ease it up more than usual, considering her tendency to snap at people who disagreed with her. For now, he couldn't bring himself to hate her.

As long as he had Glinda here, in this twisted hell of a tourist trap, he'd be fine.

After all, that's how love works, right?

*

Coming up next: NidoranShipping.

[SugarPesticide]

This one is another not-particularly-romantic story, I'm sorry D: I couldn't resist the potential parody. Their age is justification enough, though. Right?

*

NidoranShipping // Nidoran Male & Nidoran Female // PG-13

The Rodentia Gang was a cheery lot, especially for their dreary little town. Day after day, when the great clanging bell marked the end of lessons, the townspeople could easily hear the young eleven-year-old Pokemon scampering hastily from the school, eager to dash away from dull classrooms and towards adventure. Not that the townspeople minded all the noise and activity that tended to happen; after all, kids would be kids, and as long as they didn't act destructive or overly obnoxious, there was no reason not to let them have their fun. And so the rodents played and plotted in their own trivial schemes, whose outcomes were seldom were as harmful as uprooting a large berry bush.

When school at last let out for summer vacation, there was naturally a great deal of excitement and daydreaming about the excess of free time. The noise they made suddenly seemed longer and louder to the weary adults, who retained enough tolerance to grit their teeth and ignore it. The Gang might have quieted somewhat if they'd heard of their elders' discomfort, but as they tended to be out with the other Gang members from dawn until dusk, the message went untold and unheard.

It was a grand old time.

The Gang's clubhouse gathered far more frequently as Pichu, their self-appointed leader, called them together for many meetings, sometimes as often as five times a day. He would lay large papers flat on the stump which served as a table, pointing out diagrams and crossed-out thoughts as he told them his ideas for their activities that day. Usually nobody would object; after all, he had the best ideas.

Of course, this did not mean that they reacted with the same amount of enthusiasm to said ideas. Minccino would chatter excitedly in agreement as he bounced in place very rapidly, which for him was roughly equivalent to standing perfectly still. Plusle and Minun tended to control their eagerness until their leader had finished making his remarks, at which point they would erupt into raucous cheers, cheeks sparking. On the other hand, Azurill usually just shuffled his feet nervously and said nothing at all. Bidoof stared at him with rather glazed eyes and a drooling mouth, and Rattata often only just managed to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Emolga often found himself falling asleep halfway through. And poor Sentret and Patrat were assigned almost exclusively to lookout positions, and as such often needed to be filled in on the briefing that they failed to hear.

As for Renny and Dory … well, their attention spans tended to be on and off.

Before Dory's initiation, the Rodentia Gang had by coincidence only contained male members. When she had requested to join, there was initially a great deal of conflict over whether Dory should be allowed in. That conflict was quickly turned into an anxious effort to please her, however, once everyone had watched her effortlessly kick Pichu's rear in a scuffle. And naturally Pichu couldn't turn her down, not when everyone had seen her beat him so easily. He'd be called "sore loser" faster than Minccino could decide he was hungry. So he'd let her in, and everyone else admired her nervously, particularly Renny.

So the story goes. She had managed to capture the male Nidoran's heart, at least as much as an eleven-year-old heart could be captured, and now they were nigh inseparable. Nobody minded this arrangement much, aside from Pichu, and then only when they were distracting each other while he outlined plans to the group. All in all, life was good for everyone, and the Gang's antics fell into a usual pattern of events that were fun, if rather average.

Until the day the clown came.

It was a cloudier day than usual. Pichu was demonstrating his latest idea for the day with a large pink methane balloon, trying to suppress his growing annoyance at Renny and Dory's giggling, when Sentret and Patrat came rushing into the clubhouse, panting heavily. Everyone looked over at them in surprise; they had never actually had to report someone approaching their meeting place. Well, aside from the principal incident, of course, but nobody brought that up if they could help it.

"What is this?" Pichu asked, just a bit sharply.

"It's a clown," Sentret gasped, rubbing a stitch in his side. "An evil clown."

Rattata raised an eyebrow. "How can you tell a clown is evil just by looking at him?"

Patrat gave him an exasperated stare. "What other kind of clown is there?"

"… Fair point."

A shadow fell across them, and they all turned to see the clown himself standing in the doorway. He appeared to be just any other Mr. Mime, at least to the casual eye; but if one looked closely enough one might see the vertical slits that passed for his pupils, or the sharpness of his teeth when he grinned at them hungrily, or the jagged claws that sprouted from his twitching fingers.

Azurill squealed nervously and darted behind Pichu. Everyone else, however, didn't look particularly impressed.

There was silence for a few long moments.

"You're supposed to be scared," the clown said flatly, looking annoyed.

Renny blinked. "Why?"

"Why? Why? I'm a clown, little rabbit! An evil clown, but not just that … an eldritch abomination! You see, I am the most evil thing you little worthless children will ever come across in your short and miserable lives, for I am the one, the only, DOLLARSMART!"

Dory stared at him. "So you're the personification of cheap chain stores everywhere?"

The clown facepalmed. "Dollarsmart, little fool, not Dollar-Mart. Get it right."

"Well, I'm too busy working out the scientific details to make sense of all that," Pichu remarked, rubbing his chin. "You see, I'm trying to figure out how you could cross your shadow across the entire floor when you're only about four feet tall."

"It was for a dramatic entrance!" Dollarsmart exclaimed.

"Not really," Sentret replied. "We already told them you were coming."

"Well, then, it was to show how EVIL and DARK I am!" Dollarsmart laughed evilly.

"Didn't work," Rattata said.

Dollarsmart pressed his cracked lips together. "But it had to work! I'm an eldritch abomination, you pestilent vermin!"

"B-but we don't even know what an edip abberberation is!" Azurill protested, peeking over Pichu's head nervously.

"… And yet she knew what 'personification' meant," the clown remarked flatly, gesturing towards Dory.

"She's smarter than us," Renny said.

"Aw, Renny, you sweetheart!" Dory exclaimed, startling him by grabbing him in a crushing hug.

"Yeah!" Plusle and Minun cheered, jumping around happily as pom-poms of electricity began to form around their hands. "Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug!"

A vein started to throb in Dollarsmart's head. "You runts are really beginning to annoy me …"

"That's nice," Emolga yawned, barely audible over the twins' chanting. "But you're boring us. Can you go away?"

"No, you pathetic fool. Well, if nothing else will bother you, how about I just EAT you all?"

And the clown opened his mouth far, far wider than a mouth that size should be able to open, revealing long, yellowing teeth that swiftly lengthened into rotting fangs dripping with tarlike saliva.

The Gang swallowed collectively. If there was one thing that all rodents were afraid of, regardless of who they were or what they believed, it was the threat of being eaten.

But Dory pulled herself together and stood up, planting herself between her friends and the evil clown. "No," she said firmly, glaring up at him. "I am not going to let you eat my Renny."

Renny's heart fluttered. His girlfriend was so brave!

Dollarsmart scowled at her. "You're supposed to be terrified," he told her, sounding very put out.

"Well, I'm not terrified, I'm annoyed. Here we're having a club meeting, and you just come barging in without even being invited, telling us that you're going to scare the crap out of us and even eat us. That's not scary, that's just really, really rude and uncalled for. Not to mention that as a humanoid you shouldn't even be eating us alive. And don't start on the eldritch abomination thing again, because that doesn't even make sense. So kindly get out before really bad things start happening."

The gang gazed at her in admiration. Renny actually fainted from excitement.

"Really?" the clown asked ominously. "That's a funny thought, because if anything bad's going to happen, it'll happen to ALL OF Y—!"

"'T's going on here?"

Dollarsmart swiveled around, and the Gang peeked around him to see the newcomer, who was standing in the doorway and munching on a muffin. "Who are you, you cretin?" the clown growled, brandishing his claws.

The other swallowed the rest of his muffin whole. "I'm Roger of Team Conundrum, pal. Who're you supposed to be?"

The clown smiled evilly. "Your worst nightmare."

Roger looked up and down at him. "Hmm, nope, you're not. Sorry."

Dollarsmart gritted his teeth. "What the hell do you mean, I'm not? I am more evil than anything you have ever seen in your worthless life."

Roger shrugged. "I've seen worse."

"You haven't! I take pleasure in the evil of life! I've drained all of the moisture out of bodies and left them as living husks! I've pulled only one eye from a victim's face, allowing him to watch me crush it with my fist! I've ripped unborn children out of the womb just by glancing in their direction!" Dollarsmart's voice grew steadily shriller, as if desperate to prove his evilness. "I've sliced throats open from the inside, impaled every body part imaginable on these claws, shorted out life supports, driven people to insanity, literally scared people to death, created politics, peed on a wedding cake, flattened – URK!"

Dollarsmart spun around from the force of the kick, hands clasping his jaw as Roger pulled his foot back, tensed, and leapt into the air, slamming the evil clown to the ground with astonishing force. "YOU FIEND!" Roger roared, pounding his nemesis's head into the ground repeatedly. "WEDDING CAKES ARE THE MOST SACRED AND DELICATE OF ALL FOODS! ONLY THE MOST CALLOUS BASTARDS PEE ON THEM!"

"H-hooray!" Dollarsmart wheezed, as his head started to bruise. "Someone here thinks I'm an actual threat!"

The Rodentia Gang looked on incredulously.

"Can we go?" Azurill piped up weakly.

"Of course not!" Dory retorted. "That Dollar-Mart needs to feel some pain for his obnoxiousness!"

Pichu glanced at the pink methane balloon in his hand. Then he looked back at Dollarsmart, and a sly smirk spread across his face. "Gang," he said, "I know what we're gonna do today."

Five seconds later, there was a loud BANG, a disgusted gasp, and a fleshy-sounding thump as Dollarsmart fainted amidst the remains of the popped balloon, knocked completely out by the horrible stench. Everyone else's noses crinkled, and Minccino cheerfully threw up all over Bidoof, who didn't seem to notice.

"Ugh …" Renny groaned, pulling himself up a bit shakily. "What's that smell? Did he eat us already?"

"Renny!" Dory exclaimed, hopping over and giving him a peck on the cheek.

He grinned. "Duhhh …" he grunted stupidly, nearly fainting again.

"Huh. Thanks for that, little man," Roger said, nodding towards Pichu in appreciation as he attempted to sling the fainted evil clown over his shoulder. "Ow, he's heavier than I thought he'd be. You guys want to help me carry him over to some pals of mine? They can deal with him a lot better than I could. And they have Boston cream pie, which makes them instantly awesome."

The kids glanced at each other, shrugged, and nodded, stepping up to Dollarsmart and each lifting one of his limbs. "Who're we taking him to?" Dory asked, grunting from the surprisingly large weight of the evil clown's forearm.

Roger lifted his eyebrows in surprise. "Why, the Ghostbusters, of course!"

"…"

"Our parents aren't going to believe any of this happened, are they?" Renny remarked.

"Well, we believe it," Dory said stoutly, as the group began to slowly carry Dollarsmart out the door. "And that's what matters, right?"

Renny nodded, knowing there was nothing he could add to his girlfriend's statement that she couldn't have added herself. She was just awesome that way.

That day, the day when they had defeated a terrifyingly evil clown, marked the beginning of a new era for the Rodentia Gang. More monsters, never seen in that town before, were inexplicably encountered later on, attempting to eat the young rodents or worse, and yet they persevered, expanding their imaginations and confronting their fears. Pichu suddenly gained a whole lot more respect for his pink methane balloon trick, and nobody could deny he was leader material. As for Renny and Dory … well, "happily ever after" didn't even cover it.

Events were, indeed, far better than average.

*

Coming up next: Wes & Chaser Emok.

[floracat]

Sorry I didn't reply about the past 2. My computer was broken.

Now, the Glaceon and Leafeon one was hard to follow at first, but soon, I understood. There wasn't alot of romance in it, but I did think the evil Dragonair was funny. But still, it was rather abrupt.

The Nidoran one was kinda cute. Like you said, there wasn't too much romance. But, the evil clown was HILARIOUS!!!!!! I agree, only jerks pee on wedding cakes.

Well, these are getting better. Keep. It. Up!

[xxbaconxx]

What's with Dollarsmart? This is what I think of him.
A *****y wierdo who's had way too many energy drinks.
(I'm scared to go to a wedding now) Seriously!?!? Peed on a wedding cake!
Anyway, this is one of my fav. stories. <3

[SugarPesticide]

I have lots of problems with abruptness D: I'm sorry. I was going more for humor there, as I tend to do. But thanks for liking it anyway, in spite of the mind-screwy crack.

The clown was a blatant expy of Pennywise (as in the evil clown from IT). I figured the more deranged he was, the better: partially because it would make his twisted antics funnier, and partially because I haven't actually read the book and this is probably as accurate to it as I can get without scarring my mind.

FYI, the Emok in this one is the girl in Pokemon Colosseum who flirts with you when you first show up in Pyrite Town. Yeah, I didn't know who she was either. She's referred to as "Chaser" because that's her trainer class (a la Juggler Erwin or Youngster Joey), and I thought it might be more proper to give her that label so people understand she's not a super important character they've forgotten about.

*

Wes & Chaser Emok // G

It was an average day in dusty old Pyrite Town: the air was thick, muggy and dry, swimming with irritating specks of dust and shimmering in the light of the annoyingly bright sun. But Emok, slumped half-asleep against a stone wall, was soon roused from her boredom by the excited gossip passing between her fellow teens.

"And then he jumped on his bike and left the guy crying in the dirt! Seriously, it's like anything and everything that was ever awesome in this place all got together and grew silver hair!"

"If he only left Phenac the other day, how would you even know?"

"Um, how wouldn't you know, duh."

"So is the hero really coming here?"

"Guess so. Loads of those Shadow Pokemon here, somebody was bound to try and come and take care of them."

"About time."

"Pretty neat. Is it true he's cute?"

"How would I know? I only heard about it."

"Well, okay then, miss snippy-pants."

Emok yawned and watched them bicker, a thoughtful look crossing her face. A hero? Coming here? That would be a welcome change. Definitely better than whatever the usual people in town could offer, that was for sure. Could he really as tough as they all claimed? She hoped so.

"Ooh! Ooh!" one of the girls shrieked suddenly, pointing at a dust cloud on the horizon. "That must be him! That has to be him!"

"Oh!" the others gasped, watching it grow steadily larger.

Shaking her head, Emok smirked to herself. Being too excited wasn't going to endear them to him, she knew. She was going to play it cool.

They all watched as the dusty cloud drew closer and closer, for once ignoring the annoying sun. After what seemed an absurdly long time, they at last caught sight of the shape of the motorbike in the cloud. It soon became easier to see as it slowed to a stop, no longer throwing up puffs of sand.

And its rider was easier to see, too: a skinny form draped in a dark long coat that billowed out behind him. His silver hair was swept back by the sandy wind, and the goggles concealing his eyes glinted in the bright sunlight as he swung himself off the motorbike, landing on the ground easily. Two slender, catlike Pokemon followed suit, taking up positions on either side of him.

Emok blinked rapidly. She hadn't expected him to be gorgeous.

"Well, there you have it. He's the hero, obviously."

"But how can you tell?"

"He hasn't got dirt all over him."

The others facepalmed.

As the hero started to walk towards town, seemingly ignoring the squeals of teenage girls as he passed them, Emok's heartbeat started to quicken. Would he save her from this drab, dull existence she led? She could help him with his Shadow-stealing thing. That'd prove she was a useful companion, certainly. And maybe, after all that was over and done with, they could go off to some other land and start up some new adventure … She could only stare at him coming closer, powerless to do anything but grin like an idiot.

"Hey, Wes!" a voice by the motorbike called out. "Wait up!"

And a girl in pigtails, maybe two or three years younger than the hero, jumped off the passenger's seat of the vehicle and scampered after him.

Emok froze for several long seconds.

"Sorry, Rui," Wes said sheepishly, glancing behind to make sure she was catching up. "Didn't want to lose you."

The female onlookers groaned quietly, but Emok's hands clenched into fists. He couldn't have a female companion already, she told herself. He just couldn't! It should have been her!

And before she knew what she was doing, she had leapt to her feet, marched over to Wes, and cupped his head in her hands. "What's a hottie like you doing with a wallflower like that?" she heard herself croon.

From behind the dark goggles, Wes blinked.

"Wallflower?" Rui yelled indignantly, hands on her hips as she stomped over. "Wallflower? Who're you calling a wallflower?"

And she kicked Emok in the shin, seized the unresponsive boy's arm, and dragged him away, fuming silently to herself.

Leaving Emok standing there, alone.

"Did I …" she muttered, staring down at her hands as she came back to her senses. "Did I really just do that?"

"Um, yeah," a random onlooker replied nervously, edging away. "Yeah, Emok, you did."

Emok didn't look at him. She was too busy staring at her hands, the face of the hero engraved into her mind's eye. "I blew it," she said quietly. "My one chance, and I blew it."

And though afterwards she wished and prayed that he would return to see her again, he never did. Life in Pyrite Town was cruel that way.

*

Coming up next: PokeShipping.

[SugarPesticide]

Welp, here it is. One of the most popular ships in the fandom ... and no, I don't know why it was the sixty-first chapter instead of, say, the second or something. o_0

*

PokeShipping // Ash & Misty // PG

"Ash Ketchum, you big idiot, I am going to kill you!"

"But Misty—"

"You've really done it this time! Some great idea you had, wasn't it, going about and being a stupid hero again, I told you this was all a bad idea, but no, don't listen to Misty, she means well but she doesn't know best! Well, screw you, Ash, I hope you're happy now, because I'm not!"

"Misty, I'm—"

"What, you're sorry? Well, good for you, but that doesn't exactly change anything, does it? Save your apologies, Ash, and just help me out here."

"But I don't know if I can—"

"Really? Are you really pulling that card on me, Ash? You don't know if you can do it, Mister Take-On-The-Legendaries-And-Go-Running-Off-Triumphantly-Into-The-Sunset-With-Pikachu? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Of course you can do it, you idiot. Stop having an out of character moment and just work with me here!"

"Well, I – that isn't all me, Misty—"

"Yes, yes, I know, your Pokemon are your friends and you couldn't have done any of that without them, I've heard it before. I'm talking about what you can do as a person, you idiot. It doesn't have to be about Pokemon all the time."

"I know, I was talking about you!"

"… Me?"

"Yeah, Misty, you! I couldn't have taken on all those challenges without knowing you were there with me, could I? And honestly, if you left I don't think I could do much better. You've helped me so much, Mist, and I think that I … that I …"

"That you what?"

"That I like you!"

"…"

"…"

"!?"

"Really! Come on, Misty, do you think I could ever be happy with one of those girly girls! It's so much better liking you, you're smart, you're tough, you're there for me even when there are bugs all over the place … You're good for me, Mist. I really couldn't do any of this without you."

"Ah … Well, this is all very sweet, Ash, and thank you, I, I like you a lot too—"

"I know, we're apparently going to get married someday."

"… So you heard that, huh?"

"Pretty clearly, yeah."

"Wow. That must've been embarrassing."

"For me or for you?"

"For you, but I wasn't exactly on cloud nine saying it either. Actually, I honestly couldn't believe I was saying it at all."

"Neither could I."

"I know, your expression when you realized what I said—"

"Seriously! It was so weird hearing it from you, actually—"

"That had better not be a bad thing!"

"No, no, no, it's not! I just wasn't sure if you felt the same way I did, and it was really surprising to find out like that! Nice, but surprising. Plus, that seemed a bit out of character for you, really …"

"Now, wait a moment, are you pulling that out of character card on me now?"

"It's kind of true, so yeah."

"Well … I guess I deserve it just a bit. I mean, turns out you weren't being out of character back then, so I shouldn't have pulled it on you."

"That's all right. I'm sure actual character defilements are still to come further on."

"True that … but Ash—"

"Yeah, Misty?"

"This is all very well and good, and I'm glad we finally established that we like each other and could maybe even go out sometime if you behave, but—"

"But?"

"But why the hell are we having this conversation while I'm dangling from the edge of a moving train car?"

*

Coming up next: CircleOfLifeShipping.

[SugarPesticide]

CircleofLifeShipping // Luxio & Espeon // PG

"Have you seen her?"

The Glameow opened one eye slightly, feeling somewhat displeased at having his rest interrupted. His annoyance quickly faded, however, at the sight of who had woken him: a young purple cat with large ears, a forked tail, and a pair of wide, blue, panicked eyes. He thought he recognized her as Esme the Espeon, one of the Pokemon from the hills a few miles away; but it wasn't like her to have her fur was heavily smudged with dirt, and she looked as if she hadn't slept in a while. She looked so distraught that he couldn't help but feel sorry for her. "Have I seen who?" he asked kindly.

"My baby," she panted. "Elle, she's an Eevee, she's only this tall, this long, brown and furry, wearing a little leafy wreath on her—" She abruptly cut off with a hacking cough; it seemed like she hadn't had any water in a while, either.

The Glameow quickly searched his memory for an Eevee that might have passed by that way, but he could think of none. He shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, I haven't seen her."

"Oh," the Espeon sighed, her ears drooping even lower. "All right, thank you anyway."

And she went on her way, calling for her young lost daughter every now and then with a shaky voice. Psychic powers no longer served her as they once had, not since her old mate had left.

After a few more hours of wandering fruitlessly about the grasslands, Esme reluctantly settled to the ground, exhaustion overwhelming her. Eyelids fluttering, she rolled onto her back and stared up at the bright overcast sky, her head and paws throbbing. A tremor of despair ran through her. What if she never found Elle?

She wondered if any of this would have happened if the father had decided to stay. She supposed not; he could have easily hunted for prey while she stayed behind to watch their daughter. But he could never settle down, and she was certainly not the only female on the plains. And now here she was, searching for the only thing in the world that still mattered to her and failing.

She closed her eyes and shut out the world for a while.

*

Lavi stared out at the target before him, eyes narrowed and nose twitching. He crouched into the long grass, unmoving, as the Pidgey before him hopped along through the grass obliviously. Although he was starving, he forced himself to wait until the bird had finally caught hold of a Caterpie and settled down to devour it. Only then did he leap out at it, eyes flashing as a bolt of static struck the bird and stunned it enough to be rendered helpless. He dispatched it with a quick blow and then, practically drooling, sat on his haunches and began to eat.

A pitiful mewling caught his attention. Somewhat surprised, the Luxio stood up again and prowled cautiously towards the noise, ears standing to attention above his face and mane. Sniffing at the air, he instantly noticed that the Pokemon, whoever it was, was very lonely and terrified. The scent seemed to be coming from a scraggly bush nearby, and he poked his head inside it, wincing at the spiky branches.

Sitting in the midst of those branches was a little Eevee, staring back at him with wide eyes and ears pinned back. She was shivering with fear, and a frightened whimper escaped her throat.

"It's okay," he assured her, smiling for the first time in a while. "I won't hurt you."

"I want Mama," she mewed, sniffling.

He tilted his head. "Who is your mama, Eevee?"

"Esme Espeon," she replied. "She lives a long way away. I don't know where I am, big lion! A big, scary black crow took me and flew away!"

"Murkrow will do that," Lavi muttered to himself.

"But it was okay," she added. She seemed to be overcoming her shyness quickly, for she grinned childishly at him. "He got low and I bit his foot. Then I tried looking for Mama."

"Well, then, we'll just have to find your mama, won't we?" he asked.

"You'll help me get to Mama?" she asked, eyes shining.

"Of course!" he exclaimed. He couldn't just leave her there, after all. "But first things first; you look pretty hungry. I caught a Pidgey just now, do you want to share it with me?"

Her fluffy tail wagged. "Yeah!"

*

Night came and went, and Esme continued her aimless trek through the grasslands. Even after her rest, she was still very tired, and her body wanted nothing more than to lay down and sleep again. But she had to keep searching, she told herself. For Elle.

Still, when the sun began to set that evening, she couldn't help but feel utterly discouraged. It seemed as if Elle could be anywhere—

"Mama!"

Her breath caught in her throat. Swiveling around, she caught sight of the little Eevee, bounding down a grassy bank towards her. "Elle," she croaked, feeling suddenly alive again. "Elle!"

"Mama!" The little fox tackled into her mother, inadvertently knocking her down as she nuzzled her flank. "Mama, we've been looking everywhere for you! I missed you so much, Mama!"

"Oh, Elle," she crooned, licking her daughter's furry head affectionately, "I've missed you too. Please, Elle, please promise to stay by the den from now on, okay? I don't want to get separated from you ever again."

"I know, me neither, Mama," Elle agreed. "I promised Lavi I'd be more careful next time, so nothing can get me like that Mu … Mur … Murkrow, like that Murkrow did."

Esme blinked. "Lavi? Who's Lavi?"

Up on the bank, the Luxio watched as the mother and daughter were joyfully reunited. He smiled at the sight, but it was a sad smile: he remembered a day years ago when he, too, had been separated from his family as a cub. Unlike Elle, nobody had bothered to help him, and he had never seen them again.

He saw Elle and her mother turn to look at him, the Eevee smiling widely and the Espeon watching him curiously. Belatedly he realized that he'd probably been sticking around too long; after all, he'd played his part in the little adventure. They probably didn't need him intruding on their family moment.

Then, to his surprise, the two walked in his direction, through the grass and up the bank, until they stood directly before him. He glanced at the Espeon nervously, wondering if she'd attack him.

But instead she beamed at him. Even though she looked absolutely filthy and run-down, she seemed to be positively shining with happiness, and her eyes shimmered with gratitude. "Thank you," she murmured, inclining her head towards him. "Thank you, thank you … I don't know what I would have done if … if you hadn't …" She sighed, then gave him a tired smile.

"You're welcome," he said, nodding respectfully in return. There was something about her, he realized, that drew him to her, but he didn't dare mention that. "I didn't want Elle getting hurt."

"Me neither," Elle remarked. "Getting hurt is no fun. It hurts."

Her mother nodded wearily. Her eyelids drooped, and then, to their astonishment, she toppled towards the ground, half-asleep.

Lavi didn't think. He threw himself forward onto the ground before her, and it was his body that stopped her fall, rather than the hard, tough earth. A second later he wondered why he had done it.

"Mm?" the Espeon mumbled. "Thanks … Lavi, was that your name?"

"… Yes," he said, once he'd recollected himself. He realized how awkward it probably looked, having her body draped over his back like that. "I'm Lavi."

"It's nice to meet you," she said, voice slightly slurred. "My name … my name's Esme."

Lavi looked over his shoulder at her as she fell asleep right then and there. Esme, he thought, letting the word echo in his head. It fits her, he decided, watching her as her back rose and fell with each breath. She looked truly at peace.

"Aw, Mama looks cute," Elle commented. She looked as if she were thinking for a moment, and then, to his surprise, she trotted over to him, lay down, and curled up in a ball against his side. "You're warm," she said, covering her paws with her big fluffy tail. "Are you going to be my daddy?"

He blushed furiously. "No," he said, a little too quickly.

"I think you are," she said. "I like you, and Mama likes you. You're going to be my daddy."

It wasn't until she had fallen asleep as well that Lavi realized she had been absolutely serious.

And, even more surprising, it sounded like it might actually be a good idea.

He yawned widely and lay his head down on his paws, smiling at the feel of the others' bodies against his and the sound of their rhythmic breathing. He'd really missed having someone to care for.

*

Coming up next: LightrockShipping.