I have no excuse.
Shedinja & Sylveon // PG
Once upon a time, in the magical land of Canida, there lived two wise boyfriends who ruled over all they could see.
"Not a very impressive claim from someone who's blind, I've got to say."
The elder dwelt in the shadows, from which he could see the darkness in the hearts of his subjects.
"My objects, on the other hand, were a complete mystery."
He used his ghostly powers to draw upon their fears and anxieties, keeping himself in that strange area between life and death.
"So I was part of the paparazzi, then?"
In general, he was a massive grouch.
"I take offense to that. I am hardly massive."
The younger, on the other hand, was a creature of light through and through. He was always happy to romp and frolic with the other Pokemon. When they needed someone to talk to, there he was, ready and willing to lend an ear.
"Oh good, you're described for only three lines and this thing is already beating me over the head who we're supposed to sympathize with. Stop holding our hands, Silver."
You don't have hands.
"It's way too late for you to start being literal."
Let me talk. One day, the elder got tired of having to suffer the consequences of his own antisociality. Jealous of their subjects for stealing the younger's much-desired attention, he confronted him in a blast of fury and farts.
"Frankly, I don't find that funny."
The younger protested his innocence, but the elder would hear none of it. He turned his back upon his hapless friend, forcing him to gaze upon the horrible blemish in the face of reality warped reality that scarred his back … and there was the soul-sucking void too, I guess.
"You get acne one time and you never hear the end of it, I swear to Arceus …"
But that void was quite important! For the younger found himself sucked into the nothingness, and not in a sexy way either.
"What does that even mean?"
His body was a soulless shell! So his spirit fought to free itself from the elder's huge confines of the body that trapped him like a caged bird that was missing a wing and a few marbles, I don't know.
"It looks like you're wrestling with an uncomfortable truth. Would you like some help?"
So they wrestled within that body, and the younger's valiant struggles inspired awe in all who beheld them. When he finally freed himself, he was at the point of passing judgment on his sadly estranged friend, when suddenly an unbiased third party decided to intervene and prevent rightful punishment from being —
"No. That is not how it happened. Stop that. Let me take over."
Wait, what? I wasn't done! Brian, let me —
"— finish … oh darn it."
All right. Two Pokemon had issues. I'm not going to whitewash anyone here. But it was a fact that one of them had fewer issues than the other.
"Ha, you're right. I'm pretty magnificent that way."
I wasn't talking about you. Does everything honestly have to revolve around you and your giant ribbons?
"It doesn't, but that doesn't mean I can't have good self-esteem."
The Sylveon's issues went far deeper than simple self-esteem. He chattered to everyone he met, and even to many who he hadn't met. Trying to figure that puzzle out was a one-way ticket to a land of misery and migraines.
"At least I actually talk to people!"
In contrast, his more intelligent acquaintance, the Shedinja, preferred to think in seclusion. He would reflect on the meaning of life, in ways that only a ghost-type could. After all, does a fish have a solid grasp on the nature of water?
"Do you mean those boring ordinary fish, or someone like Gil from accounting? Because he sure whupped my butt at his nerd chess game thing, and I don't think Gyarados are supposed to do that."
Stop with the tangents.
"But you haven't given me a sine."
… One day, the patient Shedinja could take no more. He told the Sylveon that there was more to life than making friends, and that if the Sylveon wanted to be irresponsible, he might as well leave.
"If those grapes were any more sour, they'd be lemons."
The Sylveon threw a hissy fit. In response, the Shedinja turned and made to retreat, hoping for everything to settle itself. But the Sylveon was glaring so intently at his back that, even despite his sightless eyes, he managed to let his soul get stuck in his acquaintance's insides.
"And you kind of let yourself go as far as internal cleaning went. Just saying."
Exasperated at the Sylveon's foolishness, the Shedinja prepared to return him to his body. But the Sylveon refused to be calm in that situation, resulting in the dignified bug thrashing around in front of the entourage of Pokemon who happened to be passing by.
"They were there to cheer me on. You're just jealous."
Eventually, the Sylveon was sent back to normal. But his brattiness quota hadn't been filled yet, so he crouched in an attacking stance. Luckily, a Pokemon separated the two and told them to —
"I wasn't attacking! I was getting revenge!"
How is that any different?
"You sucked out my soul!"
You looked into my back!
"But I'm blind!"
I know. I'm still not entirely sure how you managed to do that.
"I don't know. I was just a little irritated that you were telling me off for whatever."
I wouldn't have told you off if you hadn't insisted on doing your own thing all the time.
"... What are you saying?"
I'm saying … I guess I'm saying that I wanted you to stop ignoring me. We have responsibilities, don't we? We need to set an example for everyone else, not give them a reason to stop respecting us. And even I can't do things on my own.
"You could've just come out and joined us. You know everyone else barely knows you exist, right? You hide away in your little cave of shame all the time. But you were always welcome to hang out with all of us."
But I don't know them as well as I know you.
"That's why you talk to them."
Fair point. I should have stopped being jealous that they were distracting you from being around me.
"You should have, yeah … But then again, I should have thought about how I was leaving you all alone. I was so excited to get to know all these Pokemon that I forgot that you were less comfortable with the attention."
We need to learn how to communicate better.
"Yes we do. But right now, we're fixing this. Forgive me?"
Only if you can forgive me.
"Aw, you're adorable when you try to blush."
"I'm glad that worked out," the third Pokemon said. "Now kiss."
Silver and Brian gave her a disbelieving look. "Why?"
"Because this is about romance," she reminded them.
The two glanced at each other. Then they turned their eyes back to her. "Can't you just accept that we're dating and live with that?" asked Brian, a little defensively.
"Yeah," Silver agreed. "And Brian wouldn't want an audience anyway. Why is so important to you?"
The mysterious Pokemon smoothed out her white dress with tense hands. "Let's just say I'm trying to fix something a little bigger than your bickering …"
Coming up next: BabyAuraBoltShipping.