3rd August 2014, 4:13 AM
I have no excuse.
Shedinja & Sylveon // PG
Once upon a time, in the magical land of Canida, there lived two wise boyfriends who ruled over all they could see.
"Not a very impressive claim from someone who's blind, I've got to say."
The elder dwelt in the shadows, from which he could see the darkness in the hearts of his subjects.
"My objects, on the other hand, were a complete mystery."
He used his ghostly powers to draw upon their fears and anxieties, keeping himself in that strange area between life and death.
"So I was part of the paparazzi, then?"
In general, he was a massive grouch.
"I take offense to that. I am hardly massive."
The younger, on the other hand, was a creature of light through and through. He was always happy to romp and frolic with the other Pokemon. When they needed someone to talk to, there he was, ready and willing to lend an ear.
"Oh good, you're described for only three lines and this thing is already beating me over the head who we're supposed to sympathize with. Stop holding our hands, Silver."
You don't have hands.
"It's way too late for you to start being literal."
Let me talk. One day, the elder got tired of having to suffer the consequences of his own antisociality. Jealous of their subjects for stealing the younger's much-desired attention, he confronted him in a blast of fury and farts.
"Frankly, I don't find that funny."
The younger protested his innocence, but the elder would hear none of it. He turned his back upon his hapless friend, forcing him to gaze upon the horrible blemish in the face of reality warped reality that scarred his back … and there was the soul-sucking void too, I guess.
"You get acne one time and you never hear the end of it, I swear to Arceus …"
But that void was quite important! For the younger found himself sucked into the nothingness, and not in a sexy way either.
"What does that even mean?"
His body was a soulless shell! So his spirit fought to free itself from the elder's huge confines of the body that trapped him like a caged bird that was missing a wing and a few marbles, I don't know.
"It looks like you're wrestling with an uncomfortable truth. Would you like some help?"
So they wrestled within that body, and the younger's valiant struggles inspired awe in all who beheld them. When he finally freed himself, he was at the point of passing judgment on his sadly estranged friend, when suddenly an unbiased third party decided to intervene and prevent rightful punishment from being —
"No. That is not how it happened. Stop that. Let me take over."
Wait, what? I wasn't done! Brian, let me —
"— finish … oh darn it."
All right. Two Pokemon had issues. I'm not going to whitewash anyone here. But it was a fact that one of them had fewer issues than the other.
"Ha, you're right. I'm pretty magnificent that way."
I wasn't talking about you. Does everything honestly have to revolve around you and your giant ribbons?
"It doesn't, but that doesn't mean I can't have good self-esteem."
The Sylveon's issues went far deeper than simple self-esteem. He chattered to everyone he met, and even to many who he hadn't met. Trying to figure that puzzle out was a one-way ticket to a land of misery and migraines.
"At least I actually talk to people!"
In contrast, his more intelligent acquaintance, the Shedinja, preferred to think in seclusion. He would reflect on the meaning of life, in ways that only a ghost-type could. After all, does a fish have a solid grasp on the nature of water?
"Do you mean those boring ordinary fish, or someone like Gil from accounting? Because he sure whupped my butt at his nerd chess game thing, and I don't think Gyarados are supposed to do that."
Stop with the tangents.
"But you haven't given me a sine."
… One day, the patient Shedinja could take no more. He told the Sylveon that there was more to life than making friends, and that if the Sylveon wanted to be irresponsible, he might as well leave.
"If those grapes were any more sour, they'd be lemons."
The Sylveon threw a hissy fit. In response, the Shedinja turned and made to retreat, hoping for everything to settle itself. But the Sylveon was glaring so intently at his back that, even despite his sightless eyes, he managed to let his soul get stuck in his acquaintance's insides.
"And you kind of let yourself go as far as internal cleaning went. Just saying."
Exasperated at the Sylveon's foolishness, the Shedinja prepared to return him to his body. But the Sylveon refused to be calm in that situation, resulting in the dignified bug thrashing around in front of the entourage of Pokemon who happened to be passing by.
"They were there to cheer me on. You're just jealous."
Eventually, the Sylveon was sent back to normal. But his brattiness quota hadn't been filled yet, so he crouched in an attacking stance. Luckily, a Pokemon separated the two and told them to —
"I wasn't attacking! I was getting revenge!"
How is that any different?
"You sucked out my soul!"
You looked into my back!
"But I'm blind!"
I know. I'm still not entirely sure how you managed to do that.
"I don't know. I was just a little irritated that you were telling me off for whatever."
I wouldn't have told you off if you hadn't insisted on doing your own thing all the time.
"... What are you saying?"
I'm saying … I guess I'm saying that I wanted you to stop ignoring me. We have responsibilities, don't we? We need to set an example for everyone else, not give them a reason to stop respecting us. And even I can't do things on my own.
"You could've just come out and joined us. You know everyone else barely knows you exist, right? You hide away in your little cave of shame all the time. But you were always welcome to hang out with all of us."
But I don't know them as well as I know you.
"That's why you talk to them."
Fair point. I should have stopped being jealous that they were distracting you from being around me.
"You should have, yeah … But then again, I should have thought about how I was leaving you all alone. I was so excited to get to know all these Pokemon that I forgot that you were less comfortable with the attention."
We need to learn how to communicate better.
"Yes we do. But right now, we're fixing this. Forgive me?"
Only if you can forgive me.
"Aw, you're adorable when you try to blush."
"I'm glad that worked out," the third Pokemon said. "Now kiss."
Silver and Brian gave her a disbelieving look. "Why?"
"Because this is about romance," she reminded them.
The two glanced at each other. Then they turned their eyes back to her. "Can't you just accept that we're dating and live with that?" asked Brian, a little defensively.
"Yeah," Silver agreed. "And Brian wouldn't want an audience anyway. Why is so important to you?"
The mysterious Pokemon smoothed out her white dress with tense hands. "Let's just say I'm trying to fix something a little bigger than your bickering …"
Coming up next: BabyAuraBoltShipping.
Last edited by SugarPesticide; 3rd August 2014 at 6:38 AM.
16th August 2014, 1:14 PM
I'm really surprised by the amount of pairings you've already incorporated. I really liked reading the IkariShipping one!
11th October 2015, 2:29 AM
BabyAuraBoltShipping // Riolu & Pichu // G
"I don't know," the Riolu said. "This seems like a bad idea no matter how you look at it."
The Pichu wrenched his gaze away from the shimmering portal to give his partner a wry look. "Do tell."
"I'm not going to pretend to know even a quarter of this math mumbo-jumbo," the Riolu went on, throwing a disparaging glance at a table strewn with notes. "But from what I can tell, there's more than one universe out there … is that how it goes? And basically you're tunneling through the fabric of reality to get to someplace where the rules might be totally different."
"We're tunneling through the fabric of reality. You're just as responsible for this as I am, Anput."
She crossed her arms. "That won't make it any nicer when the multiverse starts unraveling."
"It won't do that," he assured her. "The worst that'll happen is a reverse butterfly effect. Some anomaly that happens in the present will affect the past, which will affect the present. But we won't remember whether anything's different, so no harm done. Ready?"
Her reluctant face spoke volumes.
"Well, I guess history will only remember that I, Jupiter, was part of this incredible advancement in the name of SCIENCE! Now stand back, I can't promise there won't be explosions."
With an almighty leap, he grasped the lever above him and let gravity pull them down.
A portal flickered to life within the circular gate connected to towers of complicated machinery. Blue light flickered in eerie patterns, bright enough to make both Pokemon squeeze their eyes shut. For Anput, though, this was no relief: the bursts of otherworldly aura bypassed her mundane senses entirely, splashing brilliant colors across her mind's eye. She gritted her teeth—
"Look!" Jupiter exclaimed. Anput blinked, slowly realizing that the portal's energy output had reduced to merely dangerous. "I think I see something!"
The two edged toward the portal. If they didn't look too closely, they could see a shadow flicker within; looking head-on, however, they could see nothing of the sort.
"I don't like this," Anput said unnecessarily. "Maybe we should just—"
"Shh! I think I hear something."
They were within arm's reach of the light show now. The power coming off of it would be obvious to even someone who couldn't sense aura: fur stood up on end, making both the little Pokemon look like snuggly puffballs. The air tingled with energy and the boundless vastness and potential of a billion billion universes.
So, naturally, Jupiter reached up and stuck his paw into it.
It took Anput a moment of staving off a heart attack to take stock of the situation. Jupiter was … tapping something on the other side? Something soft, and fuzzy … and yellow?
"There's someone there!" It was Jupiter's voice, but it was coming from the portal. "He must be pretty awesome, fist-bumping someone from another dimension!"
"You can say that again!" said Jupiter. "Anput thought this would all explode in our faces, but this is a pretty satisfactory first contact."
Anput looked closer. There, partially obscured by wafting clouds of electricity, stood the mirror image of Jupiter. Her eyes flicked to over the not-Jupiter's shoulder, and she blinked — there, staring back at her, was herself.
"Your universe looks a lot like ours," Not-Jupiter noticed. "Except … you're left-handed. Weird."
"Jupiter," said Not-Anput, clutching his arm, "we should stop this. They could be horrible creatures masquerading as us."
"Nah. That only happens in bad science fiction. We've evolved past that stage."
After a moment of seeming curiosity, Jupiter shook himself. "Well, uh, it's been great meeting you guys, but this isn't divergent enough of a universe to document. No offense."
"No worries, man. Write down our coordinates, though, 'kay? We should come back to each other later."
"Check that." Jupiter glanced at the number display blinking above the portal, scribbling down the digits. "Catch you later." And the figures in the portal vanished with the push of a button.
Anput eyed him suspiciously. "I thought you'd jump at the chance to observe this kind of thing?"
He shifted. "I'm, um, exploring. Because when we put a man on the moon, we didn't drill to the core before heading off to Mars, did we?"
"The Mars landing was a hoax, Jupiter."
"Skeptic." He tapped a few more buttons. "Let's see how this one looks …"
The portal flickered back to life. They peered into the fog, and soon two shapes resolved themselves in the gloom — a sparkly gold Pichu and an equally gold Riolu, nervously holding hands.
"Nope," said Jupiter. "Uh …"
The scene dissolved into static, then resolved itself anew. There stood another Pichu, conspicuously alone … and yet clutching a locket around his neck, as if it was his anchor to his reality.
"Guh." Jupiter wiped the scene again.
This time, Anput squinted at their mirror selves. Something was off about them …
Not-Jupiter made to dismiss the sight of them, but she was stopped by a light thwack to the back. Not-Anput pulled his paw back, looking just as exasperated as Anput felt. "Not this time," Not-Anput said, hands on his hips. "You're starting to weird me out, Juno."
Jupiter tried to change the channel.
"Other Me has a point, Jupiter," Anput cut in, swatting his little fingers away from the controls. "This is too unscientific of you."
Both Pichu shuffled awkwardly. "Yeah, well …" they both stammered.
"Come on," said Not-Anput. "Spit it out."
Juno bit her lip. "New Bus, I just …" Her tail brushed his leg, as if to assure herself that he was still there. "They don't seem to like each other."
Anput cast a sideways look at Jupiter. He winced.
"C'mon, Juno. Not every version of us is going to be a thing." New Bus smiled apologetically at a stunned Anput. "Hey, do we need to take a break? I have to talk to this one."
"Uh, yeah." She watched as the portal went back to static. Then she sighed. "Jupiter, was this all an elaborate setup to ask me out?"
"No!" he nearly shouted. Then he caught himself. "I … I just didn't think every other universe had us like that. I wouldn't have … asked you …"
"Hmm. We'll talk about this later." Then she smiled. "Maybe we should test your hypothesis. If more than ninety percent of these universes have us as a couple …"
He brightened. "That sounds like something we should look into! … If it doesn't weird you out, I mean."
"Maybe, maybe not. Won't know until we try, right?"
And the research continued.
Coming up next: HyperShipping.
15th October 2015, 5:16 AM
HyperShipping // Barry & Bianca // PG
"I swear to Arceus this isn't what it looks like," Barry babbled.
There was a second of silence. Then Palmer raised a single eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"
Barry gulped. He looked around the vast subterranean cavern, at the faceless golems shuffling about on their eternal rounds. He looked at the thick cables that bound him and the girl together, pulling them across the high ceiling to an inexplicably placed series of chopping and whirling blades. "... Okay, so it's exactly what it looks like."
His father grinned. "That doesn't really tell me anything." He easily shifted his grip on his Rhyperior, which was scaling along the ceiling to keep up. "Who's this?"
The girl waved, or at least tried to. "I'm Bianca! You must be Palmer. Barry's told me so much about you."
"Has he?" He eyed Barry, who scowled in a why-did-I-tell-a-girl-about-my-dad sort of way.
"Yeah! He said you wouldn't understand."
"Mhm. And what are you referring to?"
"Nothing!" Barry blurted. "You're too old for this stuff."
Palmer cast Bianca a knowledgeable look. "What my kid doesn't know is that in the '80s, on New Year's Eve, I had to explain to my parents about why I dangling from the roof of a fancy casino, wearing only the bits of the wedding cake I'd burst out of, drunk out of my gourd and making out with … well, you don't need to know that bit. So I think I can handle whatever this is."
Bianca guffawed. Barry looked appropriately horrified.
"So …" Palmer gestured dramatically, not inconvenienced by briefly hanging by one arm over a hundred-foot drop. "Spill."
Gulping again, Barry looked down at the monotonous golems, then ahead to their approaching doom. "Shouldn't you be saving us from getting carved up like chickens?"
"That's a good point. Rhyperior!"
The rhino bellowed, and then — without missing a beat — seized the captive tweens and tunneled straight up, snapping the constricting cable with ease. They would have yelled in surprise, but dirt was getting everywhere and they could barely breathe as it was.
Next thing Barry knew, he was lying under an open sky, gasping for breath. Beside him, Bianca seemed to be doing much of the same. Barry swore, then and there, never to so much as set foot in a basement again.
A shadow fell across them. Palmer grinned. "Well?"
Barry sat up, then regretted it. He nursed the bump on his head, gently scratching it through untidy blond hair. "It was …" He exhaled through his nose. "Okay. It was a date."
"A date?" Palmer glanced down the hole they'd just made, through which they could faintly hear the sound of golems milling around in a panic. Then he took in their various cuts and bruises. "... I've had worse."
"It was my fault." Bianca propped herself up on her elbows. "We should've gone somewhere normal, but I was so interested in going somewhere exciting …"
Barry shook his head. "I brought up the Caverns of Doom, so it's my fault."
"But I was lollygagging around in the sparkly tunnels until it was dark, so it's my fault."
"But I was the one who got us lost, so it's my fault."
"But I thought we were going to die and started freaking out and drew attention to us, so it's my fault."
"But I was punching the mud guys and ticking them off, so it's my fault."
"That sounds about right."
"It seems to me," Palmer said sternly, prompting both of them to look up, "that you needed to plan ahead before going through with this date thing. Next time, bring a Pokemon. They tend to be helpful in life-or-death stuff." Then he snickered. "And they probably won't care if you start making out."
"We weren't going to do that!" Bianca protested. "Not in a dark, spooky cave where we could've died!" She glanced at Barry, almost shyly. "... and we're twelve."
Barry swallowed his indignation. "Maybe we should've gone on a double date or something," he admitted, a little thoughtful. "Paul does those all the time. He likes spelunking, right?"
"Yeah!" Lighting up, Bianca thought about it. "And the ground gym leader in Unova … I think he does, too!"
The two looked at each other, gears turning.
"Uh." Palmer's brow furrowed. "I don't think—"
But they had already taken off, ready to put some unspoken plan in commotion. Laughter trailed behind them like ribbons, twisting in the air amidst the sparse trees.
"... that that's a good idea." Then he looked to Rhyperior. Gradually, he managed a shrug. "But it sure sounds fun."
Rhyperior could only bury his face in his hands.
Coming up next: ObliviaShipping.
17th October 2015, 3:24 AM
Reading these makes me think of so many other pairings I want you to try out but I'm looking forward to the next chapter with a different pairing. I really enjoyed the hypershipping one because I feel as if these really represented their characters well.
29th October 2015, 7:41 PM
Thanks! I love figuring out how all these characters play off each other.
ObliviaShipping // Ben & Summer // G
"This is nice, isn't it?" Summer lounged on the island beach, head resting against her Staraptor's fluffy body. "We don't get many chances to just kick back and relax."
Ben stared at her. Then, slowly, his gaze turned out to the sea, sparkling in the late afternoon sun … and the billowing mushroom cloud of smoke expanding rapidly across the sky. "Yeah," he said. "About that …"
Technically, they weren't obligated to do anything. With their mission in Oblivia complete, and with the Pinchers taken out, they were actually expected to return to Ranger Headquarters within the week. There was, of course, the implication that they would help the locals if some horrible problem reared its ugly head, and Ben would have been more than happy to follow that unspoken rule. But Summer, not content to have their adventure end on such a violent note, was determined to spend their last day in the archipelago on a worry-free date — and unfortunately for Ben, Oblivia, and civilization as we know it, that date would not be interrupted for any reason whatsoever.
"Don't worry," Summer said, waving off his concern. "It's probably someone's barbecue gone wild. A passing Gyarados will fix everything."
Ukelele Pichu watched as Ben awkwardly returned to his sand castle. The little mouse, who had been strumming an aimless tune on his namesake, faltered as the smell of smoke tickled his nostrils. A sideways look from Summer, though, encouraged him to pick up the pace. He did so, but not without the occasional minor chord where a major chord would have sufficed, injecting a subconscious sense of the ominous.
The smoke's reach grew longer, denser, like an atmospheric belch. The sky was choked with a red-violet haze. In the grass, crickets hesitated.
Something just on the verge of hearing wormed its way into their notice; the roar of a motorboat grew louder. Everyone looked up as it sputtered to a stop in the shallows nearby, bobbing in the churning waves. There was a thunk, and a ladder rolled over the side; a short scientist shimmied down into the water and immediately waded over to them, heedless of her sopping-wet pants.
"It's great that you're on a date and all," she said, panting, "but it's an emergency! There was some kind of explosion and—"
Summer held up a hand. "Is this something the other Rangers can't handle?"
"I don't know," said the girl, wringing out her shirt.
"I'll take that as a no." Summer yawned, reaching out absentmindedly and squeezing Ben's foot. "Nema, I get that you guys look up to us, but we're busy right now. Do you think you could round up a few others to take care of this? We need to make the most of this sun; it's not nearly as hot at headquarters."
"... Okay." Nema bit her lip, then turned and climbed back onto her boat. With a whir to restart the engine, she urged it back into the fathoms between the islands, leaving concentric ripples in her wake.
Ben exhaled. His toes wiggled in Summer's grip, tickling her palm. "She seemed really worried, Summer."
"I know." Her sigh didn't break her calm, but he could hear the concern in her voice. She blinked slowly, then fixed her gaze on him. "But we're always so busy, running around saving the world. To just take some time off for ourselves ... is it really too much to ask?"
He understood, though he didn't entirely agree with her conclusion. "I do like that we're having fun," he admitted, drumming his fingers against her arm. "Being with you … it's great, really! But there are some things that we just can't ignore." A corner of his mouth quirked in a smile. "And don't try to tell me you don't like kicking butt together."
"That's true." Sand spilled as she shifted to face him; her fingers tickled his toes. "That's true … but what harm can it be for us to stay like this for five more minutes? Just pretend there aren't any problems."
Ben drew his mouth to the side. After a moment, he nodded. "Okay. But only five minutes."
She smiled and closed her eyes. He smiled as well, watching peace soften her face. Only Ukelele Pichu noticed the distressing behavior of the smoke, contorting into the face of a vaporized madman and leering down upon all Oblivia.
But surely that could wait.
Coming up next: FerrisWheelShipping.
2nd November 2015, 3:46 AM
Hello! American--Pi here, and welcome to the Sunday Review! Here's how it works: Every Sunday (well, at least I try to make it every Sunday in my timezone) I pick a one-shot or a single chapter of a chaptered fic to review. I try to alternate between the Fan Fiction and Shipping Fics forums. My reviews are Review Game-style, which means that for Shipping Fics I pick three out of the nine Review Game criteria and comment on them as much as I want to (but at least one paragraph). Every time I try to pick three different criteria, but usually I just comment on whatever in the story catches my eye.
This week, I've chosen your latest Project Valentine one-shot to review, which means I'm going to review "ObliviaShipping". I've known of Project Valentine for years now (thanks mostly to the Shipping Oscars, which I've kind of followed since joining the forum), but I never managed to check it out mostly due to laziness (sorry!). But now that I'm doing the weekly Sunday Review, I'm finally going to get around to reviewing a Project Valentine one-shot. Enjoy!
Heh, that was funny in a darkly humorous sort of way. I love how the first two paragraphs contrast each other, from Summer's relaxation to Ben's worry. It did a great job of making me want to read more, and helped me through the third paragraph. What I mean is, your third paragraph is quite long and sets up a lot of necessary exposition, but fits quite nicely into the flow of the story when it's juxtaposed against the opening two paragraphs. You also set up the exposition nicely, so good job on that.
The only thing I'm a little iffy on is Summer's characterization. I was quite taken aback by Summer's general apathy towards the situation, and her selfishness in caring more about her own enjoyment than the safety of Oblivia. Isn't a Pokemon Ranger supposed to always be ready to save the day? However, Summer's characterization was also quite comedic, in a dark sort of way. And I can also understand why you characterized Summer in your way. You seem to have Ben as the non-playable character here - obsessed with being a hero, optimistic, and caring - and Summer as the playable character, whose character can be anything you want it to be. That was an interesting interpretation - it was shocking and funny at the same time.
I like ObliviaShipping a lot, because I've actually played and enjoyed Guardian Signs. I was pretty delighted that you chose to write about Ben and Summer, but I was also a little annoyed that you took the decently heroic player character and turned her into a selfish prick. Well, at least she was willing to save the day after five minutes of rest, which I found to be pretty funny. The one-shot had a nice, darkly humorous tone, and your interpretation of Summer's character added to it. Overall this fic was a huge Funny Aneurysm Moment, and I enjoyed it a lot.
From what I see here you have a very large, nice, and successful collection of various shipping one-shots and drabbles, and this is a very cool project that I hope you continue. Happy writing!