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Thread: The Author Quest

  1. #1
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    Default The Author Quest

    Hello! Would this be where I post a thread? I'm relatively new here...anyway, I've begun writing a "fan fiction" unknowingly three years ago, maybe when I was eleven (I'm fourteen now). It's nowhere near done, but I'm so proud of how far I've come that I'm dying to share it with the world! So if I'm doing this right, you should be able to view some of the work I've done so far. Don't expect to find the ENTIRE beginning of the story, just little pieces of it that make it up. Any sort of worthwile advice would be amazing! I haven't started doing this because I want to sell it and make money, this was before I knew people actually DID that (In fact I was so happy that I wasn't the only one writing fan fictions I almost cried) I do it because I love it so thanks for taking the time to read this over-sized paragraph!

    For now, I will just post the introduction. Don't worry, you're not supposed to really understand what's going on

    Please leave a comment!


    I CAN’T REMEMBER HATING ANYTHING MORE THAN THE PARALYZED UNIVERSE.

    I hate it all. I hate that there’s no light. I hate that it’s cold. I hate that there’s no life of any sort. And most of all, I hate that there’s no hope. I can feel the weight of hopelessness in the air and taste it when I breathe. I’m not even sure why there’s air here. It’s not like anyone’s alive. The Paralyzed Universe’s only inhabitants are bad souls. What’s the point?

    I hate how I’m griping so much.

    At least I’m not doing it aloud. That’s a good thing, I guess. I wouldn’t want to wake anybody else up.

    But now that I’m thinking about all this, I can’t go back to sleep. Not like I could sleep well anyway in this frozen wasteland, even with three blankets.

    I could try looking at the positives. Let’s start with I’m not alone. All my dearest friends are with me. Although I asked them not to come. Well asked is an understatement . . .

    There I go again with my griping.

    Another positive; there aren’t any bad souls within miles of here. They won’t be able to find us for another few . . . hours, maybe. At least that’s how much longer my friends and I should be disguised for.
    Oh, and the best one yet; hopefully within those few hours, I’ll be reunited with my Guardian, and we can all go home to the Living Universe. That would be really swell.

    Swell is an understatement, too.

    I’ve run out of positives. Dark thoughts are filling my head again. I need to think of something else distracting . . .

    Oh, hey, I got an idea! Have you got some time on your hands? I’d like to tell you a story. Okay, it’s actually about my life, but it’s a pretty interesting tale. I think I’ll be able to keep you entertained. I hope you can stay awhile, it would really take my mind off this depressing place.

    So . . . go to the bathroom, get a snack, do whatever you have to in order to prevent interruptions.
    Ready?

    Great! Let’s begin then, shall we?
    Last edited by Lilly2; 11th October 2010 at 11:52 AM.
    Lilly

    My Current Team(SoulSilver):

    My fanfic idea: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...3#post11668583

    My fanfic: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=467795

    I follow Satoshi's Pokémon training philosophy; a balance of love & hard work is needed to overcome adversity. I treat my Pokémon as partners and friends while bringing out their best with EV & moveset building. That's just me ;P Feel free to copy and paste this into your sig if you feel the same way about Pokemon =D (Started by Emperor Empoleon)

  2. #2
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    Default Honnen: Chapter One

    I do apologize; part of the above writing wasn't supposed to be posted yet!
    But now that it's ready I can
    Just to give you a heads-up, there is some tense-confusion. I'll fix this as I go back to edit it, but it's all taking place in the past (EXCEPT for the prologue!)
    So, here it is, my apparantly "too long" first chapter!


    Honnen

    Chapter One


    When I wake, I see sunlight flitting through the square window across my tiny bedroom. I blink and close my eyes again, still exhausted. But before I can begin to drift off, something light is jumping on my back.

    No, jumping’s an overstatement. Perhaps tapping works better.

    “Pii piii! Pii piii!”

    “Rise and shine! Rise and shine!”

    The shrill, cheery squeals are enough to guess who’s trying to rouse me from my slumber.

    “Hi Clefairy . . .”

    “Pii!”

    “Wake up!”

    Yawning, I waited until the tapping stopped, then sat up and looked at the small, pale pink Pokemon sitting on my bed. Her small black eyes were looking back, and she held her stubs for arms out to me expectantly. I smiled, picked her up, threw her high in the air and wait for her to float like a balloon back into my arms; she squeals with delight. I put her down again, stretching my arms. Then I reach over to my nightstand and pick up the silver necklace and the Pokeball sitting on it.

    “Hey . . . is Auntie here?” I ask, rubbing my eyes with my free hand.

    “Pii! Fairy!”

    “Mommy went to see her companion!”

    “Auntie went to May-may’s already?” I ask, surprised.
    Auntie always waits for me!

    Clefairy hopped onto the nightstand. “She said to bring me over! When you wake up! So I’m waking you up because I want to go play with Taillow!”

    “Will there be breakfast?”

    “I don’t know!”

    Clefairy hops off the nightstand and does cartwheels in the air while she skips around in the room.

    I roll out of bed and stumble toward my teeny closet to pull out today’s outfit. Then I run to the bathroom, where I get changed into the jean shorts and white tee-shirt, stowing the Pokeball in my back pocket. After I clean my teeth and wash my face, I use the wooden comb sitting on the vanity to brush my black hair that’s knotted from sleep. Then I pull it back into a ponytail, but when I look in the mirror, I see it’s not quite in the center of my head and flyaway hair sticking out randomly. I’m in too much of a rush to care. My bangs are almost impossible this morning, but I finally manage to get them to sweep to the side after a few minutes.

    When I think I look presentable enough, I take the silver chain in my hands again and run it through my fingers, feeling it slide like water. Then I hold the white Opal in my hand, which is so big that it takes up the entire palm. I turn it this way and that, watching it glow in the colors of the rainbow. When I’m done admiring it, I quickly press the rock to my mouth and slide the chain over my head. The Opal necklace is always too fancy for the clothes I usually wear, but I’m never without it.

    After a final second of admiring, I skip down the stairs and call Clefairy as I slip on my leather sandals and step out of the house. I wait for Clefairy to squeal and bounce her way outside before I shut the door behind the both of us.

    I took a deep breath of the springtime air and looked around at all the pretty blossoms on the berry trees. A small Pecha tree in the middle of Littleroot had tiny, pastel orange flowers that gave off a sweet scent. The gentle breeze mingled the sweet and piney smells and made my ponytail sway. I saw Clefairy hop toward the Pecha tree and spring to the highest branch. However, sixteen pounds is a little more than the thin branches can handle; they start bending over so Clefairy is precariously perched on them. Unworried, I giggled and ran after her, reaching up the tree to tickle her behind one of her big, pointed, brown-tipped ears. She squealed and fell out, alighting on the ground with barely a thud. The tree sprung back to its original shape.

    “Come on,” I say, picking her up.

    I carried her squealing all the way to May’s house, where Aunt Clair was.

    This neighborhood is so small, it takes twenty seconds to run from my house, at the south-east corner, to May’s house, at the north-west corner; we’d always race each other back and forth, from my house to hers. The three houses in Littleroot all have two floors, but other than that they’re pretty basic; and the only kind of road here is the dirt path leading to each of them and to the way to Rout 101, located north. There’s a small pond to the south, no wider than any of the houses, and the town’s molded into the shape of a square because of the big conifers bordering it; it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say I lived in the middle of nowhere. The only thing that would interest anyone outside of here is the newly built Pokemon Lab, which is the building to the south west.

    After wiping my sandals on the welcome mat, I knock on the door and shout, “It’s Lilly!”
    I hear a scream from inside and laugh when I also hear May run toward the foyer. Clefairy hops out of my arms and squeals in response. May throws open the door and hugs me tight.

    “Lilly!”

    “May!”

    I hug her back. “Did you eat breakfast yet? I’m starving.”

    Clefairy is bouncing her way inside before either of us. May takes my hand and skips to the kitchen.

    “Not yet! I was waiting for you.”

    She pulled out the chair at the end of the table and scooted to the edge so I could sit by her. We both squeezed in and waited to be served.

    “Oh, look who finally showed up!”

    My Aunt stood up and put her empty plate in the sink, then came over and kissed the top of my head.

    “So nice of you to join us,” Caroline said, bringing over two bowls of steaming, green creamy wheat.

    “Mommy, why’s the creamy wheat green?” May asked, picking up her bowl and showing it to Caroline.

    “Isn’t it cool? I put food coloring in it!”

    “It looks like puke!”

    I pulled out the plastic spoon and ate a mouthful, “But it tastes delicious! Thanks Caroline!”

    “Lilly—”

    My Aunt was about to remind me for the thousandth time not to call May’s mom by her first name, but Caroline interrupted as she went to refrigerator and took out a full paper bag.

    “It doesn’t bother me Clair. Just as long as my kids don’t get in the habit!”

    Then she headed toward the front door. “I have to go give Norman his lunch. I forgot to make it this morning, so I said I’d bring it over later.”

    Then she put her free hand to her mouth and whistled loudly.

    There was a responding chirp, and a second later a bird Pokemon with slender, angular wings flies down the stairs and lands on Caroline’s shoulder. He looked around with big eyes and nestled himself in its trainer’s long, wavy hair.

    “Taillow!” he cried.

    “Ready when you are!”

    “Oh!” May cried, quickly turning to me and patting my shoulder.

    “What’d he say, Lilly?”

    “He said, ready when you are!” I giggled.

    “Gosh, I’d give anything to understand Pokemon!” May said, awed.

    “Lilly, that gift of yours is going to come in handy someday,” Caroline says as she walks out the door.

    A moment later, Max came running down the stairs.

    “Speaking of bothers,” I whisper.

    May giggles.

    He ignored the comment and ran right up to my Aunt and grabbed with a tiny hand. “Mommy, can I have a sugar cookie?”

    Max is May’s brother, and he can be a bother. He’s two years younger than her, which makes him five at the time. He’s also legally blind, so he constantly has to wear his glasses.

    That would explain why he ran up to my Aunt instead of Caroline.

    “Max,” my Aunt bends down, “where’s your glasses?”

    “Uhm . . . Taillow hid them again.”

    “Again? That’s not good!”

    “Clefairy knows where they are, but I think she wants someone to find them,” he says, pointing at the dishwasher.

    I now know he meant to point toward the stairs.

    “Well, I’m Miss McLachlan, and your mother just left for Petalburg, but I’m sure since you ate your breakfast, she’d let you have a cookie.”

    Petalburg City is the closest thing to a city around these parts; people like to joke that it’s the “Rural City”. It has a few more houses than Littleroot, a Pokemon Center, and even more unusual, a Pokemart. But the thing that attracts Pokemon trainers from everywhere, even outside of Honnen, is the Pokemon Gym. A Pokemon Gym is a place where trainers go to not only train their Pokemon, but to defeat the Gym Leaders and earn a badge. There are eight different badges in the Honnen Region, the continent I lived on. When a trainer has all eight badges from the eight Gym Leaders, they are eligible to challenge the Pokemon League.

    Norman, May’s dad, is a leader, and he leads this particular Gym; and to be the leader of any Pokemon Gym means that you’re a pretty decent trainer. Oldale Town, the town Caroline would have to go through to get to Petalburg City, at least has a Pokemon Center, where you can heal Pokemon.

    “Lilly and May, would you be so kind as to go and find Max’s glasses?” Auntie asked as she helped Max on to a chair.

    “Sorry, Auntie!”

    I grab May’s hand and hurry upstairs with her.

    “I’ve got something to show May!”

    “Alright, but when you’re done, find Max’s glasses!” she shouts up the stairs.

    “Okay!”

    In my excitement, I tried to jump the last two steps.
    Which resulted in my knee banging into the floor and a near face-plant!

    May sensibly walked up the last two steps and helped me up. “Are you okay Lilly?”
    I was on my feet in an instant, too excited to feel my knee throb.

    “Yeah, I’m fine!”

    I grabbed her hand again as I heard my Aunt shout up the stairs again.

    “Lilly Maria Prescott, what are you doing?!”

    “Nothing, Auntie!”

    This time, May led the way to her room; the one at the end of the five foot hallway.

    “Why are we running?” May asked, confused.

    “I have to show you something!” I whispered as I shut the door behind us.

    I skipped to her bed and jump onto it, patting the blanket.
    “Come sit!” I said as she walked towards me.

    May jumped onto my lap. I pushed her off of me as we lie down on our stomachs, facing each other.

    “Whaddya want me to see?” she asks, poking my nose.

    I reach behind me and pull the small sphere out of my back pocket. Then I quickly move my arm in front of my face and cover the rest of the Pokeball with my other hand.

    “Guess!”

    May stared at my hands.
    Then the guessing began.

    “Is it a rock?”

    “Nope!”

    “A grepa berry?”

    I snickered. “Nuh-uh.”

    “A pair of socks?”

    “Not even close!”

    “Uh . . .”

    I smiled impatiently.
    “Done guessing?”
    . . .
    “Yeah.”

    “Are you sure?”

    “Yes, Lilly!”

    “C’mon, guess one more time!”

    May sighed loudly and looked at my hands one more time, pushing her brown, shoulder
    length hair behind her ears and propping herself up with her elbows.

    “I’ll give you a hint . . .”

    Keeping my hands together, I used the wall to help myself sit up.

    “What’s red and white and catches Pokemon?”

    May’s eye’s widened comically as she gasped.

    “Your aunt got you a Pokemon?!”

    “Well . . .”

    I let my right hand drop to my side again, revealing the little ball.

    “She got me a Pokeball, but there’s nothing in it.”

    May sat on her knees.
    “I don’t get it.”

    I blinked. “What do you mean?”

    “It’s just a Pokeball, isn’t it?”

    I smiled again.
    “Nope! Do you know why this one’s special?”

    “You’re not going to make me guess, are you?”

    I snorted with laughter; we both did.

    “Nah, I won’t make you do that again. This Pokeball’s special because I’m going to catch my first Pokemon with it!”

    May gasped again and clapped her hands.

    “Really?!”

    “Really!” I exclaimed.

    “Oh my gosh, that’s so awesome!”

    “I know!”

    I practically knocked her over when I hugged her excitedly. She hugged back. We sat there hugging and saying how awesome this was for the next five minutes.

    When I’d gotten all my excitement out, I let her go and just stared at the little Pokeball.
    “Did you ever know that they were invented by a professor living in the Kanto Region?”

    May nodded eagerly.
    “Yup! Daddy told me one time . . . he said he was very smart.”

    “Yeah . . .”

    We stared at the Pokeball again. It was another minute before May spoke up.

    “Do you know which Pokemon you’re going to get with it?” May asked, scooting over so that she was sitting next to me.

    “I’d thought about it . . . I think I’m going to get a Poochyena with Auntie’s Clefairy.”

    “Aren’t they Dark Types?”

    “Well . . . yeah . . . why?”

    “I dunno . . .”
    May shuddered. “Those Pokemon scare me a little.”

    I shrugged. “I think it’s a good type.”

    “If you say so,” she shrugged back.

    I turned the Pokeball in my hands, flipping it from the red side to the white side, and back again.

    It was then that May suddenly tapped my shoulder.

    “Huh?”

    I looked up. She was smirking at me.

    “Why are you smiling like that?” I asked, sitting on my rear.

    May put both her hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes.

    “You’re my bestest friend, right?”

    “No!”

    May shrank away from me, and the look of shock on her face was absolutely priceless.
    “What?”

    I leaned forward and hugged her again. “You’re like my sister!”

    May giggled and hugged back.

    “Well,” she let me go, her eyes sparkling with excitement, “I think we should make a promise to each other.”

    “Why?”

    “Because my Mommy did that when she was little with her friend!”

    “What kind of promise are you talking about?” I asked.

    May smiled broadly.

    “Let’s promise,” she whispered, “that we’ll both become the best of the best.”

    I felt my eyebrows furrow together.
    “The best of the best?”

    “Yeah!”
    She started bouncing up and down. “You’ll become the best Pokemon Trainer, and I’ll become the best Pokemon Coordinator!”

    I gasped, finally getting it.
    “Oh yeah!” I squealed as excitement returned.

    May stopped bouncing and held out her hands. “Ready?”

    I blink. “What are we doing?”

    Her hands shook impatiently. “Gimme your hands, Lilly!”

    I quickly grabbed May’s hands with my own. “Why?”

    “My Mommy used to do this with me all the time . . .”

    May shut her eyes. I did the same.

    “I’ll start.”

    After clearing her throat, May began to speak:

    “I, May Nicole Emeralde, promise to become the best Pokemon Coordinator in the entire world.”

    There was a silence.

    “Lilly, now you say your line!”

    “Oh!”

    I cleared my throat too. “I, Lilly Maria Prescott, promise to become the best Pokemon Trainer in the entire world, because I love Poke--”

    “That’s it!”

    “Oh . . .”

    I opened my eyes, but May began to speak once more.

    “Now just repeat after me, okay?”

    Shutting my eyes, I say “Okay”.

    “And we promise . . .”
    “And we promise . . .”
    “To become the best of the best . . .”
    “To become the best of the best . . .”
    “And experience many adventures . . .”
    “And experience many adventures . . .”
    “Together!”
    “Together!”
    “We’re done!”
    “We’re done!”
    “You can stop repeating after me now . . .”
    “Sorry.”

    I opened my eyes and saw May’s blue ones.

    I grinned and squeezed her hands.

    She did the same.

    “The best of the best . . .”

    I could hardly contain my excitement at that prospect.

    “Together!”

    “Yes!”

    “Lilly, May, come back down and fine Max’s glasses!” my aunt shouted up the stairs again.

    “Uh-oh,” I said, letting go of May’s hands.

    “Looks like we have to go on another adventure first!” May laughed as she leapt off the bed.

    I laughed too as we hurried out of the room and down the stairs to begin our first “adventure” together.
    Last edited by Lilly2; 11th October 2010 at 12:14 PM.
    Lilly

    My Current Team(SoulSilver):

    My fanfic idea: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...3#post11668583

    My fanfic: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=467795

    I follow Satoshi's Pokémon training philosophy; a balance of love & hard work is needed to overcome adversity. I treat my Pokémon as partners and friends while bringing out their best with EV & moveset building. That's just me ;P Feel free to copy and paste this into your sig if you feel the same way about Pokemon =D (Started by Emperor Empoleon)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
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    Default

    Hey Lilly! I really like your story so far, especially with the portrayal of your characters' personalities.

    The only issue? You sometimes switch from past to present tense, so it is hard to tell in which one your story is taking place.
    Also, you misspelled "Hoenn." Besides that, great job! I'm excited to find out if Lilly captures a Poochyena (and it is awesome that she can talk to her Pokémon).
    I'll be online on weekends, mostly, and as often as I can.

    Greetings from the asylum of my insanity.
    Chapter 3: Should be up by December 31st.

    Dex: 128 created! ~ My DeviantART link to be posted here...once I actually post something on my DeviantART. =P

  4. #4
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    Default

    Oh my God, I've been spelling Hoenn like "Honnen" for my entire career as a Pokemon Fan XD And really? Thank you so much! Yes, I've been told about those tense-switches, I'll be sure to keep that in mind when I'm writing. And she can talk to ALL Pokemon now I may actually find some more time to actually type because fall activities are over..mine, at least.
    Thanks again!
    Lilly

    My Current Team(SoulSilver):

    My fanfic idea: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...3#post11668583

    My fanfic: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=467795

    I follow Satoshi's Pokémon training philosophy; a balance of love & hard work is needed to overcome adversity. I treat my Pokémon as partners and friends while bringing out their best with EV & moveset building. That's just me ;P Feel free to copy and paste this into your sig if you feel the same way about Pokemon =D (Started by Emperor Empoleon)

  5. #5
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    Default Chapter Two

    Well, I just proofed and finished chapter two.. here goes nothing!

    Chapter Two

    A few minutes after Auntie called us downstairs, I found myself running out the front door, going to Professor Birch's house to borrow his Gulpin.

    What happened was this: Once May and I got down the stairs to look for Max's glasses, we took the living room by storm. We threw couch cushions, shoved furniature, you name it.

    By the time Aunt Clair warned us to be careful, it was too late; I had knocked over one of the lamps sitting on a table beside the couch. There was a loud crash as it broke into several pieces on the wooden floor.

    "Uh-oh!" I gasped and stood still.
    "What is going on in here?!" Aunt Clair shouted as she hurried toward the living room.
    "I... uh..."
    "Lilly!" Auntie cried when she saw the broken china.
    "I'm sorry," I mumbled sheepishly as I looked down at my feet.
    Auntie sighed and massaged her forehead. In the kitchen, Max was looking in our direction.
    "What broke?" he asked.
    "She didn't mean it, Mrs. McLachlan," May defended me loyally.

    Once Auntie had calmed down, she told me to go to Professor Birch's house and ask if we could borrow his Gulpin Pokemon, adding that he would appreciate eating the broken lamp. I took another step back as I turned to head for the door, but something else cracked under my shoe.
    I unwillingly lifted my foot off the floor to find Max's glasses in a million little pieces on the wood floor.
    May couldn't help but to burst out laughing.
    I was out the door before Auntie could scream at me again.

    Since Professor Birch's house is just across from May's, I only had to dash across the lawn and right up to Professor Birch's doorstep. I knocked on the large door three times and waited patiently with my hands folded behind my back for someone to answer.

    A woman no older than thirty opened the door, her brown eyes lighting up when she saw my face.
    This woman was Professor Birch's wife, Antoinette.

    "Hi, Antoinette!" I smiled up at her.
    "Hello, Lilly!"

    She pushed her blond hair out of her eyes and placed a hand on her swollen abdomen.

    “What can I do for you, sweetheart?”

    Antoinette and Professor Birch had gotten married three years ago, when Professor Birch had first become a Pokemon Professor; I still remember May and I being the flower girls at their small wedding that took place in the center of town.

    “Uhm . . .”
    I was suddenly embarrassed to tell her why I was at her doorstep.
    “We need to borrow Gulpin . . .”
    “Sure! Come on in!”

    Antoinette opened the door wider and walked toward her kitchen. I entered the house and carefully shut the door behind me, taking my shoes off as I did so. She went behind her counter and bent over as she picked up a small, earthy-green Pokemon with a yellow leaf-shaped member on his head. He grunted and waved his tiny arms at me in a happy greeting when Antoinette placed him on the counter.
    “Gulpin!” he said excitedly, slowly moving about the counter as he looked for something tasty to swallow.
    Feed me!

    “What do you need Gulpin for?” Antoinette asked, stopping him from putting a plastic bowl in his mouth.
    “Well . . .”
    I sheepishly explained to her what had occurred at May’s house. She laughed, especially at the part when I stepped on Max’s glasses.
    “So, can he do it?” I asked, eager to get off the subject of my klutziness.
    “Yup!”
    She smiled warmly, “Glass is Gulpin’s favorite. He’d love to eat that up!”

    Antoinette picked him up again and handed him to me. I held him with one arm and let him suck on my shoulder.
    “I’m glad you came and asked before you cleaned it up yourself.”
    “Thanks Antoinette!” I said as I turned to go.
    “Oh, wait!”
    “Huh?”
    I looked back at her again. She looked around the kitchen for a moment then said “Aha!” as she grabbed a small, brown package addressed to Professor Robert Birch sitting on the dining table.
    “Can you do me a favor?” she asked as she walked toward me.
    “What do you need me to do?” I asked as I pried Gulpin off my shoulder; I didn’t want him to start digesting my skin.
    “Some nice young man delivered this to our house earlier, but I think Bob would like this now for his research . . . would you mind going out to route One-oh-one to give it to him, Lilly? I have to get started on dinner.”

    I gasped.
    “You mean you want me to give this to him? Out on Route One-oh-one?”
    She smiled again. “Think you can handle it? He ought to be right at the border of Littleroot; he said he wouldn’t be going too far out.”
    I almost jumped up and down in happiness. “Definitely! I’ll give it to him right away!”

    I took the package in my free hand, sprinted out of the house and made a beeline for Rout 101; completely forgetting May’s house.
    “Lilly, you forgot to drop off Gulpin!” I heard Antoinette call from her house behind me.
    “Oh!”
    I quickly turned around, ran to May’s, pounded on the door, tapped my foot as I waited till Aunt Clair answered, put Gulpin on the welcome mat, and ran back toward Rout 101 without giving her a chance to call me back.

    -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

    Panting heavily, I slowed to a walk as I neared the pathway to Rout 101. I was always up for a chance to see Professor Birch in action with his Pokemon research, and this time was no different.
    Well, in a different way, this time actually was different.
    But I’m getting ahead of myself again.

    As I crossed over into the long, untamed grasses and wilderness of the path ahead, I began to shudder with excitement. I looked around eagerly, constantly anticipating for a Pokemon to come out from behind a bush or leap out of the grass or something. What Pokemon would the Professor show me this time? He’d shown May and I the three species of Pokemon that made their habitats in Rout 101; Zigzagoon, Poochyena, and Wurmple.

    My excitement was violently cut short when I heard a shout of distress.
    I looked up and dropped the package I was carrying when I saw Professor Birch cornered into a group of trees, a little, grey and black Poochyena snarling and angrily swiping at him with her paws.
    I was baffled.
    Why isn’t he battling it?
    It was then that I looked by his feet and saw him desperately trying to shield a little orange Pokemon covered in feathers; he’d been knocked out cold.
    About twenty feet away from him was an open briefcase with two little Pokeballs sitting next to it.

    The Professor cried out again as Poochyena clawed at his leg, this time drawing blood.
    I gasped and called, “Professor Birch!”
    He finally noticed I was standing there, and suddenly looked entirely embarrassed and ashamed.
    “Lilly!”

    He tried to bend down and pick up the little orange-feathered Pokemon, but the Poochyena jumped at his face. I gasped again.
    The Professor was wise enough to quickly straighten up, muttering profanities to himself as he did so.
    Poochyena continued barking and growling madly.
    I was completely stunned; too stunned to cry, even. I watched him with wide eyes, unsure of what else to do.

    He looked back at me and shouted over the barking and growling, “I need you to toss me one of the Poke balls by my briefcase! Please hurry!”
    My actions delayed by shock, I stumbled over to his briefcase and stared at the two Poke balls.
    “Which one?!” I shouted without looking up.
    “It doesn’t matter!”
    The loudest shout yet was uttered. My head whipped up to look at him; I almost passed out when I saw the Poochyena biting his calf with sharp canines.

    I quickly grabbed a Pokeball and ran toward the two, my heart pumping fast and hard.
    Unfortunately, I didn’t see the giant tree root sticking out of the ground.

    I tripped and fell to my knees, dropping the Pokeball as I did so. It opened in a white halo of light and released a Pokemon.
    I quickly got back to my feet again, studying the little creature from behind in wonder. It was four-legged and a deep, sky blue with a large fin sticking out of the top of its head. A set of orange cheeks with three “whiskers” puffed in and out slowly as he breathed, and had another large, lighter blue fin like a fish on its rear.
    For some reason, this semiaquatic Pokemon appealed to me.

    “Mudkip!” it gurgled suddenly.
    “Oh no,” I said as the Poochyena’s ears twitch.
    With agonizing slowness, the little Pokemon turned in our direction and growled fiercely, crouching down on all fours as she did so.
    I continued to gape like an idiot.

    “Give Mudkip a command!” Professor Birch shouted.
    The Poochyena payed no attention to him as she began to advance toward us, still crouching low and snarling louder.
    “I . . .”
    My eyes were fixed on the snarling Pokemon.
    “Mudkip?” he uttered again suddenly.
    I jumped, startled, lowering my head to look at him for a split second and saw his little black eyes looking back at me.
    He repeated his question.
    “Mudkip?”
    What do I do?
    “Uh . . .”

    Poochyena was getting too close for comfort, crouching even lower. “Back away!” I commanded as I stumbled backwards.
    “Kip?”
    “I don’t attack?”
    I looked up at Professor Birch for help, but he was preoccupied with his wounded leg.
    I looked back at the aquatic Pokemon.
    “What . . .”

    “Poochy!” the Poochyena finally barked, glaring up at me with her yellow and red eyes.
    Come at me already!”
    I gasped. The blue Pokemon began to growl, but it wasn’t threatening at all. In fact, it was pretty cute.
    “What are you doing?!” I cried out.
    “Kip!” it growled again.

    Poochyena shifted its focus from me to the Mudkip, her gaze softening and her tight form relaxing the slightest bit.
    So I was surprised when she growled back and launched herself at Mudkip, tackling him to the ground.

    “Oh!” I shouted.

    The two wrestled each other for a second before Poochyena got back to her feet, preparing to strike again. Mudkip quickly got on his feet, shaking his head from side to side and pawing at the ground with a moist foot.
    That was all the motivation I needed to focus on what I had to do.

    “Mudkip . . . can you tackle the Poochyena back?” I ask timidly.
    Mudkip growled again as he jumped on Poochyena, knocking her to the ground. Poochyena growled loudly as she tried to free herself from Mudkip’s hold, but he was too strong. After some more pushing and shoving, the two stood up again. Before I could give Mudkip another command, Poochyena had thrown herself full force at Mudkip.
    “Look out!” I shouted.

    Mudkip collapsed to his belly and rolled to the side, dodging Poochyena’s attack. Poochyena went head-first into the grass behind us.

    “Mudkip, tackle her again!”
    Mudkip got a running start, sprang into the air and landed on Poochyena with his full bodyweight, pushing her even further into the ground. When he got up again, the Poocheyna scrambled to her feet and scurried deep among the trees as fast as her paws would carry her.

    Mudkip got off the ground too and shook himself of the loose grass bits clinging to his moist body.
    Panting, I sat on the ground next to Mudkip, watching him as he turned to lick his leg clean.

    My first Pokemon battle!, I keep thinking to myself excitedly.

    “Lilly!” Professor Birch called from behind me, drawing me from my thoughts.

    Oh!

    I leapt to my feet and hurried back for the Professor; I heard the grass rustle as Mudkip followed at my heels.
    Professor Birch was kneeling on his good leg and grimacing as he bandaged his calf with a piece of cloth that he tore off his shirt.. it had bled through however..

    “Professor Birch! Are you okay?” I ask.
    “I’m alright,” he said hoarsely in reply. “There’s something wrong with that Poochyena, they’re never this agitated.”
    I stopped on the way to close up Professor Birch’s briefcase and bring it to him, where I dropped it at his feet and stood looking down at him anxiously.

    “Should I get someone?” I asked, feeling the Mudkip nudge my leg from behind.
    He smiled at me weakly. “I’ll just need some help getting back.. did I see you had something for me back there?”
    “Oh yeah! Let me get it!”
    I dashed to where I dropped the package, then came back and held the brown box out to him. He took it, examined it for a moment, then gave it back to me.

    “Could you just turn to your left and hand me that Poke ball right there? It’s Torchic’s,” he said, indicating the little orange chick behind him.
    I searched the grass behind me and found the tiny ball. I gave that to the professor and watched as he pressed the button in the middle and murmured gently, “Return, Torchic.”
    Enveloped in the red light, Torchic chirped weakly as he obediently returned to the ball.

    “Do you know where Mudkip’s ball is? We wouldn’t want to lose that!”
    I turned around again and retraced my steps to where I’d dropped it, then picked up the ball, aimed it at Mudkip, and said, “Return, Mudkip!”
    Mudkip “kipped” cheerfully as he returned to his ball, too.

    I went to hand it back to the Professor as I watched him stow Torchic’s Poke ball in his lab coat, but he said, “Would you hold onto that for me, too?”
    “Okay!”
    “Good! Now if you wouldn’t mind helping me back to my house so that we can get me all bandaged up, that’d be just fantastic. I know how strong you are!”
    “Of course Professor Birch,” I giggled at his humor.
    He used a tree behind him so that he could stand up on his right foot, and he slung his arm around my shoulder so that I could be used as his left. Together, we slowly made our way out of Rout 101 and back to his house.
    Lilly

    My Current Team(SoulSilver):

    My fanfic idea: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...3#post11668583

    My fanfic: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=467795

    I follow Satoshi's Pokémon training philosophy; a balance of love & hard work is needed to overcome adversity. I treat my Pokémon as partners and friends while bringing out their best with EV & moveset building. That's just me ;P Feel free to copy and paste this into your sig if you feel the same way about Pokemon =D (Started by Emperor Empoleon)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    Default

    Okay, I remember reading your "Lilly's Story" idea thread a while back, so that's why I'm reading. It seems like a good concept.

    I don't have time for a lengthy review right now, sorry!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
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    Default

    That's okay. Anything is better than nothing thanks for taking the time to read!
    Lilly

    My Current Team(SoulSilver):

    My fanfic idea: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...3#post11668583

    My fanfic: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=467795

    I follow Satoshi's Pokémon training philosophy; a balance of love & hard work is needed to overcome adversity. I treat my Pokémon as partners and friends while bringing out their best with EV & moveset building. That's just me ;P Feel free to copy and paste this into your sig if you feel the same way about Pokemon =D (Started by Emperor Empoleon)

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    389

    Default

    Panting heavily, I slowed to a walk as I neared the pathway to Rout 101. I was always up for a chance to see Professor Birch in action with his Pokemon research, and this time was no different.
    "Route" has an E at the end of it.
    Professor Birch! Are you okay?” I ask.
    Tense error.
    Also, "alright" should be spelled "all right." I'm not entirely sure about that one, though.

    So, good chapter...I liked the battle with Mudkip and Poochyena; it was just awesome!
    I'll be online on weekends, mostly, and as often as I can.

    Greetings from the asylum of my insanity.
    Chapter 3: Should be up by December 31st.

    Dex: 128 created! ~ My DeviantART link to be posted here...once I actually post something on my DeviantART. =P

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    29

    Default Mwahahaha.

    Haha thanks! I'll have to work on writing better Pokemon battles, but if I stay stuck on those right now it'll take forever to finish this :P and tenses are another one of my weaknesses... I'll brush up on those now though to prevent further mistakes. Thanks GhastlyMan!
    Lilly

    My Current Team(SoulSilver):

    My fanfic idea: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...3#post11668583

    My fanfic: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=467795

    I follow Satoshi's Pokémon training philosophy; a balance of love & hard work is needed to overcome adversity. I treat my Pokémon as partners and friends while bringing out their best with EV & moveset building. That's just me ;P Feel free to copy and paste this into your sig if you feel the same way about Pokemon =D (Started by Emperor Empoleon)

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