Thread: Count to 60 Before Somebody With Under 20 Posts Comes

  1. #457976
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    10

    A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. The religious man prayed every single day and night, spending much time at church, while the atheist never even thought of such acts.
    However, the atheist's had a good life. An excellent, well-payed job, and a beautiful wife, lovely, healthy, children, whereas the religious man's job was stressful and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day ,and his kids were obnoxious, and non loving.
    So one day, while deep into his regular prayer, he looked towards heaven and asked, "Oh God, I honour you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbour, who doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity. Why is this?"
    A great voice bellowed out from above, "BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!"

  2. #457977
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    11, Once upon a time, there was a bird.

    It pooped on your mama's cupcakes.

    The End


    One Author, One Creator and Two boys. Set in Johto. Where everything is not what it seems. For they must flee from the group called the Grammar Police. And saved the World from an unknown threat.

    Credits to ~BrightStarVictory~ of Subspace Generate Graphics!

    So Bad It's Good and, So Bad It's Good 2: War of the Turkey

    Oneshot(s)! It's-IT'S. It's.....Something. Caution: May shatter your sanity. Read, if you dare.....

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  3. #457978
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    12
    A pastor, a priest, and a lawyer all died and appear before the gates of heaven. The pastor and priest enter normally, but when the lawyer tries to enter he is showered with confetti and a multitude of angels trumpet his arrival. Confused, the pastor and priest ask a nearby angel why he was getting so much attention. The angel replied, "We have plenty of people like you up here, but he's the first lawyer we've ever seen."
    Pokemon isn't real, I'm sorry

  4. #457979
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    13

    A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.

    They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.

    She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.

    As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"

  5. #457980
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    14 ..


    One Author, One Creator and Two boys. Set in Johto. Where everything is not what it seems. For they must flee from the group called the Grammar Police. And saved the World from an unknown threat.

    Credits to ~BrightStarVictory~ of Subspace Generate Graphics!

    So Bad It's Good and, So Bad It's Good 2: War of the Turkey

    Oneshot(s)! It's-IT'S. It's.....Something. Caution: May shatter your sanity. Read, if you dare.....

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  6. #457981
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    14
    An American, a Russian, and a Frenchman are all up for punishment by 40 lashes. The warden comes up to them and says "You may each have one wish before you are lashed."
    So the American says "I want a pillow strapped to my back." He gets a pillow, they do 20 lashes, the pillow breaks, and he gets 20 lashes to the back.
    The Frenchman says he wants 2 pillows on his back. They give him the pillows, he gets through scot free.
    The Russian says "I want the Frenchman on my back."
    Pokemon isn't real, I'm sorry

  7. #457982
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    16

    A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.

    "No!" yells the blonde.

    Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.

    "For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well, why the hell not?"

    The blonde says, "Because I wanna stay up here with you!"

  8. #457983
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    17, I don't even understand any of these jokes...


    One Author, One Creator and Two boys. Set in Johto. Where everything is not what it seems. For they must flee from the group called the Grammar Police. And saved the World from an unknown threat.

    Credits to ~BrightStarVictory~ of Subspace Generate Graphics!

    So Bad It's Good and, So Bad It's Good 2: War of the Turkey

    Oneshot(s)! It's-IT'S. It's.....Something. Caution: May shatter your sanity. Read, if you dare.....

    My Author's Profile

  9. #457984
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    18

    A Texan, a Californian and a Seattlite were all drinking in a bar.
    After a while, the Texan grabbed a bottle of tequila, threw it in the air and shot it into a thousand pieces. "Don't you boys worry about it," said the Texan, "we have plenty of tequila deep in the heart of Texas. "
    The Californian, not wanting to be outdone, selected a bottle of fine wine, tossed it up, and shot it into smitherines. "Hey, don't sweat it dudes," chirped the Californian, "There's zillions of bottles of wine in Cali."
    The Seattlite, following suit, guzzled down a bottle of micro-brewed beer, chucked it towards the rafters, shot the Californian, and (without missing a beat) pulled out his hand and caught the beer bottle. Everyone in the bar stood frozen in shock.
    "Relax, kids," said the Seattlite cooly, "Up in Seattle, there's a freakin' ****load of Californians. No big deal."

  10. #457985
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    0
    In the past, when a person needed blood, the doctors needed a person with the same blood type that is willing to give blood. One day, a son desperately needed blood, or he would die. Luckily, he had a younger brother with the same blood type. The doctors asked if the brother would give his older brother his blood. He answered "Yes" without hesitation. Right before they started the procedure to take blood, the younger brother asked a single question:

    "How long until I die?"

  11. #457986
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    1
    Heaven only has one spot left for the day and three guys show up, so St. Peter tells them that the guy who died the worst death will get in. The first guy leads off, "Well, I got home early and I saw somebody cheating with my wife, and so I chased him deeper into my apartment. I saw somebody hanging off the balcony below, so I went into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and dropped it on his head, but then I was overcome with grief so I killed myself." The second guy says, "I was on my balcony trying to see the source of some commotion when I leaned too far and fell over the edge. I barely managed to grab the edge when somebody dropped a refrigerator on my head. A refrigerator!" The third guy goes, "Well, you see, I was hiding in a refrigerator...."
    Pokemon isn't real, I'm sorry

  12. #457987
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    1

    No. That's just cruel

    2

    That one wasn't bad

  13. #457988
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    3, THE JOKES IT'S SPREADING!


    One Author, One Creator and Two boys. Set in Johto. Where everything is not what it seems. For they must flee from the group called the Grammar Police. And saved the World from an unknown threat.

    Credits to ~BrightStarVictory~ of Subspace Generate Graphics!

    So Bad It's Good and, So Bad It's Good 2: War of the Turkey

    Oneshot(s)! It's-IT'S. It's.....Something. Caution: May shatter your sanity. Read, if you dare.....

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  14. #457989
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    4
    Three men have just robbed a bank and are making their getaway. They manage to get pretty far out of the city, but the police are still after them, and the getaway car breaks down in the middle of a rural area. They don't have much time, so they abandon the car and run off to hide in a nearby barn. There isn't much to hide behind once they're inside, but thankfully they planned ahead and brought very realistic barnyard animal costumes. The first bank robber disguises himself as a cow, the second as a sheep, the third suddenly realizes he forgot his chicken costume in the car, and thinking quickly, jumps into an empty potato sack. Moments later, a pair of police officers, having found the abandoned car, decide to investigate the barn.
    "They must have gotten away," says the first officer, "there's nothing in here but a cow, a sheep, and a sack of potatoes"
    "Hold on," says the second officer, "Something seems a little strange here.. Is that a real cow?"
    "Moo!" says the first bank robber.
    "Hmmm... Well, how about the sheep?"
    "Baaaah!" says the second bank robber.
    "And what about that potato sack over there? Is that a real sack of potatoes?"
    The third bank robber is silent for a moment, then calls out...
    "Poootaaaaatttttooooo!"
    Pokemon isn't real, I'm sorry

  15. #457990
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Imposter View Post
    1

    No. That's just cruel

    2

    That one wasn't bad
    I see that you don't get it.
    It's not a joke. But here's a hint: nobody dies

  16. #457991
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    1

    Let's stop with the jokes now

  17. #457992
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    6 .
    my claim is Staraptor
    I love to help people if you ever need anything let me know, I will see what I can do

  18. #457993

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    2 I ****ing ate jokes

    99% of teens like 1 directon... put this in ur sig if you dont (started by blazeing man)

  19. #457994
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    4 .
    my claim is Staraptor
    I love to help people if you ever need anything let me know, I will see what I can do

  20. #457995
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    5
    One more:

    Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

    He was hit by a bus
    Pokemon isn't real, I'm sorry

  21. #457996
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    6 .


    One Author, One Creator and Two boys. Set in Johto. Where everything is not what it seems. For they must flee from the group called the Grammar Police. And saved the World from an unknown threat.

    Credits to ~BrightStarVictory~ of Subspace Generate Graphics!

    So Bad It's Good and, So Bad It's Good 2: War of the Turkey

    Oneshot(s)! It's-IT'S. It's.....Something. Caution: May shatter your sanity. Read, if you dare.....

    My Author's Profile

  22. #457997
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    7
    No soap, radio
    Pokemon isn't real, I'm sorry

  23. #457998
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    8. What? No soap? Radio?


    One Author, One Creator and Two boys. Set in Johto. Where everything is not what it seems. For they must flee from the group called the Grammar Police. And saved the World from an unknown threat.

    Credits to ~BrightStarVictory~ of Subspace Generate Graphics!

    So Bad It's Good and, So Bad It's Good 2: War of the Turkey

    Oneshot(s)! It's-IT'S. It's.....Something. Caution: May shatter your sanity. Read, if you dare.....

    My Author's Profile

  24. #457999
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    9
    What, you don't get it?
    Pokemon isn't real, I'm sorry

  25. #458000
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    10

    It's fun being drunk in a play.

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