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Thread: Daddy's Little Girl

  1. #1
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    Default Daddy's Little Girl

    Rating: Let's go with PG just to be safe.

    Shipping: Advanceshipping (Ash Ketchum and May)

    So this was my Secret Santa gift for someone last year (you know who you are), and I decided, hey, why not post it? I had forgotten I wrote this until I started working on my Secret Santa gift for my current person.

    Anyway, this is an Advanceshipping one-shot because the person I was given loved Advanceshipping. It's a family piece.


    Daddy’s Little Girl



    She looked down at the sleeping bundle in her arms. She smiled at it.

    “She’s perfect, May,” a deep voice spoke. May looked up at the man in front of her and smiled even more. There her husband was, standing at the door holding a bouquet of flowers and a ratty piece of cloth.

    The tall man walked over to her, gently placed the bouquet on her side table, and turned to her and the baby, staring the little girl he helped create.

    “Ash,” she said, idly touching his wild hair, “honey, what’s with the washcloth?”

    Ash reddened and rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh… That’s no washcloth! That used to be my blankie… or, at least, what’s left of it. I was thinking we could sew this onto her new blankie. To show that I love her.”

    May’s sapphire eyes glistened. “Oh Ash… That’s so sweet!” And so the new mother leaned up, kissed her husband, and leaned back against the pillow. All was right in the world… Soon she could leave this nasty hospital; she could go home and be the perfect mother to the perfect daughter; and most importantly, she could bring her daughter with her to the next Grand Festival! It was the perfect day, and now, she could sleep peacefully.

    May closed her eyes and began to drift off to sleep…

    And then… Ash spoke. “Uh, May? Before you sleep, don’t we have to name her?”

    ---------------------------------

    Ash looked over the top of his laptop’s screen at his now six year old daughter. Wow… Time flew fast. He watched the blue eyed menace as she played with a ball in her hands. She threw it at the wall, and Ash smiled. ‘She was playing catch by herself, aw,’ he thought pleasantly.

    That’s when it hit him. That was a Pokéball! “No! Amy!” He shouted to no avail, however, as the ball had just hit the wall, and a burst of white light was released. The white light was morphing into a four foot tall creature. The light soon faded, and a brown bull stood in the light’s wake. It had three swinging tails, two opulent horns protruding from his head, and a bushy mane.

    It was Ash’s Tauros.

    He leapt out of his chair, sent his laptop flying, and ran over to May, picking her up as the Tauros blinked and looked at the little girl oddly.

    <Ash… Why was I released in here? I thought you were working.>

    Amy giggled. “Daddy! Put me down! I wanted to ride Tauros to my bedroom!”

    Ash’s eyes widened at the prospect of his little girl riding his monstrous pack leader up the stairs to her small My Little Ponyta bedroom. “Uh, sweetheart, that may not be the best of ideas.”

    Amy looked at him and pouted. “But Daddy! I want a Tauros as my starter! I have to get in practice sometime!”

    Luckily May walked in just in time to catch her daughter as Ash fainted on the floor. May looked from the broken laptop lying on the floor, to the bewildered Tauros standing idly in the middle of the floor, to her unconscious husband, and finally to her grinning offspring. “So. You told him, huh?”

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    Amy snapped her eyes open. Today was the day! She was twelve! She could finally begin her journey! She threw off her favorite My Little Ponyta comforter and revealed that she had slept in her traveling clothes. One could never be too cautious about these things, especially not with Ash Ketchum for a father. She looked in her dresser’s mirror to make sure she was wearing her favorite set of clothes, and indeed she was. She was wearing a light blue tank top, a short red skirt, and blue socks with her tennis shoes.

    She raced from her bedroom to the bathroom, and brushed her teeth furiously. “This is taking too much time!” she shouted angrily. “I need to hurry if Red and I want to get to Professor Oak’s soon!”

    “Amy! Are you monologuing in your room again?” Amy jumped at the sound of her mother’s musical voice.

    “Crap,” she thought, “I did it again! I meant to speak in my head, not out loud!”

    Soon enough, May’s voice reappeared. “Amy, honey, you’re still speaking out loud. Why don’t you hurry downstairs for breakfast, Red’s already down here eating.”

    Amy paused in the middle of brushing her long black hair and gasped. “Red beat me downstairs? But he’s the laziest Pokémon I know! Coming Mom!”

    And with tthat, the eldest Kethcum offspring flew down the stairs and raced to the dining room, only to see her starter smirking at her as a short, stout cow creature with a tail that had a bowling ball-like object on it made her way over to Amy.

    The spotted Pokémon ushered Amy into her seat and offered her a glass of milk before going to May to retrieve waffles for the child. Amy gladly accepted the offered glass, and sat down next to her little brother, Peter. Peter was only six years old, but he was already learning about how Pokémon work faster than Amy had!

    Then, right as the cow brought over waffles for the children, a tall man walked in the room.

    Peter looked up brightly. “Daddy! Mommy and Miltank made waffles!”

    Ash ruffled his son’s chesnut hair, and spoke. “Really? I wonder what the special occasion could be?” He looked over at Amy with a sly grin. “Could it be your birthday Peter?”

    Peter dramatically shook his head.

    “Is it Mommy’s birthday?”

    Again, Peter shook his head furiously.

    “Hmm… Is it my birthday?”

    Peter laughed as he shook his head. “No silly!”

    Ash pondered for a moment, turned to Amy, and shrugged. “I guess there’s nothing special about today after all.” He looked down to where Red was chowing down faster than Pikachu with ketchup, and blinked. “Well, except for Red’s huge appetite.”

    The large starter snorted at his ‘father,’ and Amy rolled her eyes. “Nice try Dad, but we all know that today’s the day Red and I leave on our journey!” She raised her fork to her mouth, and paused mid-bite. “You know, I just realized how cliché that sounds.” Red gave an agreeable snort.

    Then the ravenous trio heard a playful coo coming down the stairs. They turned towards the stairs, all of them with food filled mouths, and saw May’s Blaziken walking down, carrying Baby Blair. Amy rolled her eyes at the site. Her sister, no matter how much Amy loved her, was destined to be a bit spoiled.

    The tall, flaming rooster placed his charge in her high chair, and gave her a slight pat on the head. Blair giggled, and sat up straight, looking around for her food.

    Ash got up, grabbed a thing of baby food, and placed it in front of his youngest child, and sat down next to her in order to feed her.

    Amy laughed as she saw her little sister primly accept each bite of food, and delicately ate it. “I’m going to miss this,” she muttered softly. Red walked over to her and nuzzled her shoulder and pointed towards the clock with his snout.

    Amy grinned. It was nine o’clock, time to go to Professor Oak’s lab! “Mom, Dad, Peter, Blair, Miltank, Blaziken, it’s time.”

    Peter gave her a confused look, while May let out a sob and held her apron to her eyes. “Time for what?” Peter inquired.

    Amy gave him a smile, and hugged her mother. “Time for me to go to the lab. I’ll come back later while the others are showing their parents their starters. Three of us decided to travel together. Catie, Kevin, and I are going to journey together.” She then frowned. “Trent didn’t want to travel with us…”

    May smiled knowingly. “I’m sure you’ll see him on your journey, honey. Now go have fun. Maybe you’ll get in a good battle with Red? After all, he is at the same level as a starter Pokemon.”

    Amy grimaced. “Why would I want to see Trent? He’s so arrogant!” Then as an afterthought, she added, “although a battle with Red would be awesome!” Red gave an appreciative moo.

    She then turned to her father, who had been disturbingly silent the whole time. He walked over to her, smiling widely, clutching something behind his back.

    “Amy,” he started, “there comes a time in every young person’s life where they leave to go on a journey. However, a journey isn’t a journey without a… hat!” And with that, he pulled a white, circular hat with a rim out from behind his back. It had a half of a red Pokéball on it, and it was exactly what Amy had wanted for her birthday but had not received.

    “Oh. My. Gosh. It’s the official Cynthia League Brand Hat!” Amy squealed, placed the hat on her head, and jumped up and down.

    Ash pulled her in for a hug. “I love you, sweetie. Now go kick some ***!”

    “Ash!” May scolded.

    Ash grinned. “Sorry honey. Now go, sport! See you later!”

    And with that, Amy hopped on Red’s back, and rode him to Professor Gary Oak’s laboratory.

    After Amy left, Blair had been put down for a nap, and Peter was watching cartoons, Ash and May were sitting on their front porch, swinging in their porch swing.

    “You know,” Ash spoke up, interrupting their moment, “I still can’t believe we actually gave her a Tauros for a starter!”

    May just laughed and kissed him. “Ash, I love you.”
    Current Black Team: Rivka (Stoutland), Elmo (Musharna), Scarlett (Whimsicott), Gabriel (Carracosta), Reese (Klang), Sean (Mienfoo); all are at level 47. Currently in Victory Road.

  2. #2
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    I've got warm fuzzies and I'm not even an Advanceshipper. I'm sure your secret santa loved this because there are a lot of highly adorable moments here. I loved Ash bringing his childhood blankie for his new daughter. I think most of us had special blankets when we were kids and can definitely relate.

    I also liked May pretty much thinking of everything except naming her little girl before catching some z's. And speaking of the name, I think Amy's a particularly awesome choice. I only realized partway through that it's an anagram for May.

    And Amy's monologuing habit just made me laugh. XD It's a 'main character' thing, dearie. Don't worry about it.

    I think the thing that strikes me when I read this fic is that it could use a little elbow room. There's a lot of information here for the space it's presented in. The time jumps are pretty substantial and in the last segment the reader got a lot of unfamiliar names thrown at them without much explanation. A longer fic could allow further development and thus make these characters seem less randomly there. Or you could rearrange your story. Instead of starting with Amy's birth, you could start with her journey, and then have her parent's talk/flashback about her birth/childhood/siblings/friends/pokemon/etc. That might make it easier to dish out the exposition.

    This is a very positive fic, and that's great. It manages to be sweet without getting too sweet and even is quite funny in places. But I think it's a little low on the drama-side. Not that you need to turn it into a stress factory, but surely every new parent has worries about their first child, or their oldest child's foray out onto their own. I think it would round out some of the character depictions a little and be more realistic to show some of their worries, while still keep the positive feeling and have them hoping for the best.

    All in all, this is a really smile worthy oneshot

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skiyomi View Post
    I've got warm fuzzies and I'm not even an Advanceshipper. I'm sure your secret santa loved this because there are a lot of highly adorable moments here. I loved Ash bringing his childhood blankie for his new daughter. I think most of us had special blankets when we were kids and can definitely relate.
    I sure had a special blanket, haha. I actually had two... I wonder what happened to them... I'm glad this gave you the warm fuzzies, that's what I was going for!

    I'm not an Advanceshipper either.

    Quote Originally Posted by Skiyomi View Post
    I also liked May pretty much thinking of everything except naming her little girl before catching some z's. And speaking of the name, I think Amy's a particularly awesome choice. I only realized partway through that it's an anagram for May.

    And Amy's monologuing habit just made me laugh. XD It's a 'main character' thing, dearie. Don't worry about it.
    I have to admit that was a coincidence. I just thought Amy Ketchum sounded good. After I was reading over it, I realized that it was an anagram, haha.

    Quote Originally Posted by Skiyomi View Post
    I think the thing that strikes me when I read this fic is that it could use a little elbow room. There's a lot of information here for the space it's presented in. The time jumps are pretty substantial and in the last segment the reader got a lot of unfamiliar names thrown at them without much explanation. A longer fic could allow further development and thus make these characters seem less randomly there. Or you could rearrange your story. Instead of starting with Amy's birth, you could start with her journey, and then have her parent's talk/flashback about her birth/childhood/siblings/friends/pokemon/etc. That might make it easier to dish out the exposition.
    Mm, yeah, I understand. As much as I hate to admit it, I was rushing to finish this, because my gift was late and blah. If I was going to go back and redo it, I probably would have started with Ash and May at the kitchen island, drinking coffee at, like, five in the morning because they couldn't sleep (because Amy would be leaving that day).

    And yeah, my version of the Advanceshipping Ketcum family isn't too felshed out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Skiyomi View Post
    This is a very positive fic, and that's great. It manages to be sweet without getting too sweet and even is quite funny in places. But I think it's a little low on the drama-side. Not that you need to turn it into a stress factory, but surely every new parent has worries about their first child, or their oldest child's foray out onto their own. I think it would round out some of the character depictions a little and be more realistic to show some of their worries, while still keep the positive feeling and have them hoping for the best.

    All in all, this is a really smile worthy oneshot
    Nah, I understand about the drama too. Usually when I write, I write depressing things, because that's just what comes out on the page. But I wanted this to be happy, so I tried to make sure there wasn't too much drama or too many tears. I probably went overboard though.


    Thanks for reviewing, Skiyomi! I'm glad you liked it. Now I'm off to finish my secret santa piece for this year.
    Current Black Team: Rivka (Stoutland), Elmo (Musharna), Scarlett (Whimsicott), Gabriel (Carracosta), Reese (Klang), Sean (Mienfoo); all are at level 47. Currently in Victory Road.

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