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Thread: The Gym

  1. #1
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    Default The Gym

    THE FINAL EPISODE IS NOW POSTED!!! So here's a little fan fiction I conjured up in order to practice writing screenplays. Oh no, it's a script! (Oooooh, it's so unorthodox and spooky!) I used a wonderful program named Celtx that does all the proper formatting for me, but since I can't copy and paste the formatting, it won't look as professional here as it does on the PDF. Anyway, just a few things to note, this is basically written as The Office or the superior Parks and Recreation, except instead of an office it takes place at Brock's gym. Also, when you see (Talking Head) or (T.H.) in the script, it means the character is doing one of those interviews to the camera you see so much in reality shows. Anyway, here we go!

    THE GYM

    Episode 01: The Reporter
    Episode 02: Exercise Tapes
    Episode 03: Spelunking
    Episode 04: The Challenger
    Episode 05: Ribbon Cutting
    Episode 06: The Convention
    Episode 07: The Fangirl
    Episode 08: Sweepstakes Mania
    Episode 09: Kanto Gym Leader Council
    Episode 10: The Trial
    Episode 11: The Inspection
    Episode 12: Brown Nosing
    Episode 13: Sycophant Search

    Episode 1: The Reporter

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    BROCK is pacing around the gym, giving directions to LIAM. The gym itself is just a large, drab, brown room, littered with rocks around.

    BROCK
    So I'm going to need you to polish up all the rocks so they look nice and rocky. And can you mop the floors too? They haven't been mopped since my parents visited... two years ago.

    LIAM
    Yes sir! I'll be done with that in hardly any light years!

    Brock
    How many times do I have to tell you, Liam? Light years measure distance, not time!

    Brock (Talking head)
    I'm Brock, and I'm the gym leader of the Pewter City Gym. I've been leading the gym for a while now, and it's basically become my home. Actually, it is my home. I stopped paying the rent on my apartment. Anyway, it's great that you're filming this documentary, as I believe there's a lot of effort that goes into being a gym leader beyond battling that the public should be aware of. Like... um... well, personally, for me, I sink a ton of time into coming up with rock puns. Yeah, so there's that and the battling too. Some days I just get exhausted from all the work.

    LIAM begins polishing all the rocks around the gym as BROCK watches him with his arms crossed. LIAM starts complaining as he wipes his brow.

    LIAM
    What's the cause for all this cleaning anyway?

    BROCK
    That really isn't any of your business.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Liam is under my employ here at the gym. He's my assistant, so that means he basically does all the stuff I don't feel like doing. He's great having around when I have to get a colonoscopy! But anyway, why do I have him cleaning up the place? There's a girl coming over! I met her at this bar last night. I walked up to her said, "Hey, I'm a gym leader," and she said, "Wow, that's cool, can I come over the gym tomorrow?" I said, "Sure, and I'll be sure to rock your world," and she giggled a bit, and then I said, "Get it, because I train rock types?" and she said, "I got it." Hands down it's the most successful social interaction with a girl I've ever had.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Hi, I'm Liam! I work here as Brock's assistant. Apparently I got the job because no one else applied, which I just don't understand! Who wouldn't want to be Brock's assistant? What's wrong with him? It's great training. I totally want to be a gym leader when I grow up. I heard that this girl Maylene became a gym leader in Sinnoh and she's only a year older than me, so I have high hopes! Sometimes the job can be really taxing though. I don't think I can go through another colonoscopy.

    As LIAM continues to clean, a knocking noise comes in from the outside.

    BROCK
    Ah ****, she's here already! Liam, hide the cleaning supplies in my office! I don't want her thinking I cleaned especially for her!

    LIAM
    Yes, sir!

    LIAM runs off carrying polish and a mop to the office as BROCK goes over to the gym's entrance and opens the door. A girl, GLADYS, walks into the gym.

    GLADYS
    Hi Brock, how's it going?

    GLADYS looks around and stares at the camera for a bit.

    GLADYS
    What's with the camera?

    BROCK
    Wait, how did you know my name?!

    GLADYS
    I live in Pewter City. Everyone knows who the gym leader is.

    BROCK
    Oh, that makes more sense than what I was thinking. I thought you were a stalker. Now, I wouldn't be completely put off by that idea. Actually, it's kind of hot thinking that someone would stalk me.

    GLADYS
    Okay...

    BROCK
    So what's your name, anyway?

    GLADYS
    I'm Gladys, I'm a reporter with the Pewter City Gazette.

    GLADYS (T.H.)
    Being a member of the press isn't exactly as glamorous as it's made out to be. When you work in local news, like myself, you do get to meet your fair share of celebrities, but I wouldn't even consider them D-list. Probably Z-list. You know, like some guy that saved a girl being attacked by a Fearow, or Brock. But really, why is this being filmed? How do I look on camera?

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Damn, I bagged a reporter! Maybe she can arrange a meeting between me and that guy who saved a girl from that Fearow!

    BROCK
    So what do you think of the place? This is the Pewter City Gym, my pride and joy!

    GLADYS
    It's kind of messy. I mean, there are all these rocks, just sitting around. Do you have an office we can use?

    BROCK
    Oh, of course! I'd never do it out here anyway!

    GLADYS
    It's good to see we're on the same page.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Good old Brock is getting laid today!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE

    LIAM is scurrying to find a place to put the cleaning supplies as BROCK and GLADYS enter.

    GLADYS
    Oh dear, look at all those cleaning products? You didn't clean the place up for me, did you?

    BROCK
    ****.

    GLADYS
    What was that?

    BROCK
    Nothing.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I didn't want her thinking I cleaned up the place special for her. The last thing a girl wants to think is that you'd go out of your way for them.

    GLADYS
    So who's this young man anyway?

    LIAM
    I'm Liam. I'm the gym assistant.

    BROCK
    Well Liam, thanks for helping out, but I think you should head back out and find some work to do in the arena. Gladys and I are going to be busy in here.

    GLADYS
    I don't have any problem if he wants to stay for the interview.

    BROCK
    Interview?

    GLADYS
    Of course. I'm here to interview the Pewter City Gym Leader. Why else would I come all the way here?

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I guess Gladys and I had a failure to communicate. I thought she was talking about sex, and she thought I was talking about an interview. Frankly, I think all the blame falls on her. Why the hell would I want an interview?

    LIAM
    I want to stay for this. It could be fun!

    GLADYS
    The boy wants to stay, Brock.

    BROCK
    Fine, he can stay!

    GLADYS rummages through her purse until she takes out a tape recorder.

    GLADYS
    I'm just going to record the conversation. It's easier than writing everything down.

    BROCK
    That's not a problem.

    GLADYS turns the recorder on.

    GLADYS
    So, do you get a lot of challengers at the gym?

    BROCK
    Do I get a lot of potential challengers? Yes. Do I actually battle them? Hell no! I always turn all the lights off and lock the door to make it seem as if the gym is closed.

    GLADYS
    So you don't actually battle anyone?

    BROCK
    Well, sometimes I'll be in the middle of coming up with a great string of rock puns. I can't be bothered to interrupt that with a battle.

    GLADYS
    But isn't that your job? To battle?

    BROCK
    I'm a gym leader. I have many jobs. The first one is to best exemplify the Rock type. How do I do that? Rock puns.

    GLADYS
    What are these other jobs?

    BROCK
    Well, I also consider myself a mentor to the Pewter City youth. I go spelunking a lot at Mt. Moon. Sometimes I go speak at Rock type conventions. And then I'd say, all the way at the bottom, would be "Pokémon Battler".

    GLADYS
    If that's what you say.

    BROCK
    I did say.

    GLADYS
    Okay... so... next question... what is it about the Rock type that drew you to it?

    BROCK
    Well, Rock types are strong, just like me! And you know, I've always liked Onix, because it's long and hard and reminds me of something else I have. Want to see?

    GLADYS
    The Onix or your penis?

    BROCK
    Penis? Who said that?

    GLADYS
    Maybe you were right in wanting Liam to leave.

    LIAM
    Oh no, this is great! I've never seen an interview before!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    This interview is going great! I even got her to bring up my penis! NOW I know I'm getting laid today!

    EXT. OUTSIDE PEWTER CITY GYM

    With the interview complete, both BROCK and LIAM go outside to wish GLADYS goodbye.

    GLADYS
    Well, that was quite an unusual interview. The readers of the Pewter City Gazette are going to eat this up?

    BROCK
    Speaking of eating, how about we get dinner tonight?

    GLADYS
    Oh... um... I have work to do. And also, I'm just not interested in you. At all.

    BROCK is visibly hurt.

    BROCK
    Oh, okay.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I guess I'm not getting laid. And I thought I was really good at interpreting signals!

    GLADYS
    I'm out of here. I'm sure the Gazette will send you the article once it's published.

    GLADYS walks away from the gym. BROCK and LIAM watch her leave.

    LIAM
    She wasn't interested in you, but at least the interview went great, right?

    BROCK
    Oh yeah! She might not want me, but as soon as some babes read that interview, they'll be hunting me down! You know what, we should go out and celebrate! I'm taking you to the bar!

    LIAM
    I'm underage...

    BROCK
    Eh, it doesn't matter. I'll get you a fake I.D.

    INT. PEWTER BAR

    BROCK (T.H.)
    This is the Pewter Bar, and this is actually where I met Gladys. Hopefully tonight I'll meet someone without ulterior motives... and hopefully with a lot of money!

    BROCK and LIAM are sitting at the bar. The BARTENDER walks up to them.

    BARTENDER
    What can I get you two?

    BROCK
    I'll just have a white wine spritzer.

    LIAM
    Shirley Temple.

    BARTENDER
    Er... okay, if that's what you want.

    BROCK
    So Liam, do you see any hot girls?

    LIAM
    Eh, I'm looking.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    I'm like 7 years younger than him! We aren't going to have the same taste in women! What is he expecting from me?

    BROCK
    What about that girl over there?

    BROCK points to a blond girl, JOYCE, sitting at a table by herself.

    LIAM
    I guess she's alright.

    BROCK
    She's definitely a solid eight out of ten.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I have a Brock Scale of Hotness that I use to rate the attractiveness of every girl I meet. That reporter? Eight out of ten. Erika? Nine out of ten. Misty? Three out of ten. The scale doesn't take kindly to tomboys.

    BARTENDER
    Here are your drinks.

    The BARTENDER passes the drinks to BROCK and LIAM.

    BROCK
    This is exactly the liquid courage I need to go talk to that girl!

    BROCK chugs down the white whine spritzer in one gulp as LIAM watches, horrified.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    When you're training your Pokémon, you want to make sure they only consume the best products. Hyper potions, antidotes, revives, calciums, HP Ups. You put that stuff in your Pokemon, and you know it'll be the best it can be. I'm the same way with alcohol.

    BROCK
    Wish me luck.

    LIAM
    Good luck, sir!

    BROCK swaggers over to JOYCE as LIAM watches, cringing.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    I'm supportive of every decision Brock makes... except when it comes to women.

    BROCK
    Hey there babe. What's your name?

    JOYCE
    Oh dear, you're Brock, aren't you? My name is Joyce.

    BROCK
    So you've heard of me? You know I train Rock types? Want to see my Onix? Ah ****, I messed that line up.

    JOYCE
    Oh my Arceus, that's almost exactly the same line you used on Gladys!

    JOYCE breaks out into a fit of giggles as BROCK stands, dumbfounded.

    BROCK
    Gladys? Gladys told you about me? Ah, so you must know about my interview! Don't you think I'm super cool?

    JOYCE
    Super cool?!

    JOYCE breaks out into even more giggling.

    JOYCE
    You're anything BUT super cool! Gladys let me listen to the entire interview! She said she couldn't wait to write her article and expose you for the incompetent and perverted gym leader that you are!

    BROCK
    Incompetent? Perverted? Gym Leader? Only one of those things describe me! And it's... um... the Gym Leader one! I thought that interview went great!

    JOYCE
    Really?! Did you have any idea what you were saying?!

    BROCK
    Yup. I was saying how cool I was.

    JOYCE
    No! You made a total *** out of yourself! I mean, you told her you bowled a 300 the first time you went bowling?!

    BROCK
    That's partially true. Some guy two lanes next to me did.

    JOYCE
    You also told her you were voted Kanto's Sexiest Man Alive?!

    BROCK
    That's also partially true! Some other guy was!

    JOYCE
    See what she meant? You're just making a fool of yourself!

    BROCK
    That's... that's not possible!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I thought the interview went really well, I thought the reporter was into me, I thought the fruit in the bowl on the table wasn't wooden and okay to eat... why is everything I think wrong?

    BROCK returns to the bar table, his spirits diminished, as LIAM sips on his Shirley Temple.

    BROCK
    Liam, did you really think the interview went well?

    LIAM
    Of course it did! That reporter asked a lot of questions, and you answered all of them!

    BROCK
    That's not what I meant. The answers I gave: where they flattering or unflattering?

    LIAM
    I thought they were very flattering, sir!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    The problem with my only employee being a sycophant is that there's no one around to keep me in check... hm... but I guess on the flip side that can also be a good thing!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    The next day, BROCK is pacing around the gym in a panic, as LIAM agrees with his every word.

    BROCK
    If this interview gets out, it's going to be bad news for the Pewter City Gym!

    LIAM
    That's right!

    BROCK
    We could get shut down by the Pokémon League!

    LIAM
    I know!

    BROCK
    I'd have to find another job!

    LIAM
    Me too!

    BROCK
    Liam, for once in your life, can you think of an original thought? Can't you see I'm panicking here?!

    LIAM
    Yes, I can see, sir!

    A knocking is heard from outside.

    BROCK
    ****, is that a gym challenger? I don't have time for battles right now!

    BROCK heads over to the door and opens it to find a TRAINER waiting.

    TRAINER
    Hey, you're Brock, right? I'm here for a gym battle.

    BROCK
    I am no speaking the English. Building here under new management. In week, it be Denny's. Please come again!

    With that, BROCK slams the door.

    BROCK
    I think I handled that quite well.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Brock is AMAZING at impressions. I mean, you've already seen his foreigner impression, but he also does a pretty mean Lt. Surge impression too. "Blah blah blah electric Pokémon saved me during the war blah blah!" I do it pretty badly, but if you heard Brock's, it'd be great!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Yeah, I do a great Lt. Surge impression. What of it?

    BROCK
    Anyway, what do we do about this whole reporter situation?

    LIAM
    Well, she recorded the interview, right?

    BROCK
    Yup.

    LIAM
    Well we can record our own fake interview, and then switch the tapes!

    BROCK
    And how exactly could we do that? Who'd play the reporter's part?

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Unfortunately, Brock isn't very good at female impressions. Though he's very good at leaving first impressions on females!

    BROCK
    That gives me another idea though. What if we switched the tape with a blank tape? That way she'd think that she just forgot to turn the recorder on!

    LIAM
    That's a much better idea! I guess that's why you're the boss!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Brock always comes up with better ideas than me! One time, I wanted to just have macoroni for lunch, and he suggested I add cheese to the equation! The man is an innovator!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GAZETTE OFFICES

    LIAM walks into the Pewter City Gazette Offices. He's wearing an earpiece and a watch with a microphone in it that allows him to communicate with Brock.

    BROCK (T.H.) (VOICE ONLY)
    So it was my idea to use these cool walkie talkie watch things! I only use the coolest of technology! If I could only start getting it on with women, I'd practically be the same as James Bond!

    LIAM approaches the front desk to talk to a SECRETARY.

    LIAM
    Hi, I'm from Pewter City Middle School! I'm doing a project on the evils of the left wing media and I was wondering if I could take a look around!

    SECRETARY
    Of course! I don't see anything wrong with letting a middle school kid and a cameraman run around unaccompanied. I just need your name, kid.

    BROCK (V.O.)
    Give a fake name!

    SECRETARY
    What was that?

    LIAM
    Oh, that was my... er... stomache growling! Anyway, my name is... er... Regis!

    SECRETARY
    Okay Regis, you and your cameraman can go right ahead!

    LIAM
    Thank you!

    LIAM enters the office as Brock complains to him through the earpiece.

    BROCK (V.O.)
    Why the hell didn't she need the cameraman's name?

    LIAM walks around and finally finds a door marked "GLADYS'S OFFICE", but is dismayed to find GLADYS is in the office after taking a quick peek. He speaks into the watch.

    LIAM
    Brock, I found her office, but there's a problem. She's in it!

    BROCK (V.O.)
    I wonder why we didn't see that coming. Oh well. I guess we have to create a distraction now. And whatever you do, DON'T let Gladys see you!

    LIAM
    I won't.

    LIAM sneaks around the office, until he finds a door marked "EDITOR IN CHIEF". LIAM knocks on the door and the EDITOR IN CHIEF opens it.

    EDITOR IN CHIEF
    Huh? Who are you kid? What do you want? Why are you here anyway?

    BROCK (V.O.)
    Don't tell him the truth!

    EDITOR IN CHIEF
    What was that?

    LIAM
    I'm... um... listening to my dog through a radio feed. Anyway, my name is Regis, and I'm with the Kanto National News Network! I just finished up doing an undercover report on corrupt journalism, and that Gladys reporter of yours was the prime target of my study! You better have a good talking to with her about all her corruption!

    EDITOR IN CHIEF
    What? Is this true? I better talk to her right now! Kid's are innocent, so they'd never lie, especially to a figure of authority like myself!

    BROCK (V.O.)
    Liam, I'm a figure of authority, so you better not be lying to me too. I hope you're really cleaning the bathrooms when I ask you too.

    LIAM
    Of course I am!

    As the EDITOR IN CHIEF heads to his desk to call GLADYS, LIAM sneaks around and hides around the corner of the outside of her office. He watches as GLADYS storms out of the office, fuming.

    GLADYS
    What the hell is this, "reports of corruption"? I'll get to the bottom of this ********!

    BROCK (V.O.)
    I'm not sure if I can approve of language like that in a work environment.

    LIAM
    But you use language like that at the gym all the time.

    BROCK (V.O.)
    Yeah, but the gym isn't work, it's more of a fun place. You can use whatever language you want. Enough chat, carry on.

    With GLADYS gone for the moment, LIAM hurries into her office. He looks around her desk, and sees on her computer she's working on an article about a robbery at the Pewter City Pokémart due that day. LIAM speaks into the watch.

    LIAM
    It looks like she hasn't started the report on you yet.

    BROCK (V.O.)
    Good! Now find that recorder!

    LIAM fumbles around the desk for a bit until he finally finds the tape recorder stuffed away in a drawer.

    LIAM
    Found it!

    BROCK (V.O.)
    Good! Now switch the tapes!

    LIAM takes a blank tape out of his pocket, removes the tape from the recorder, and puts the blank tape in, putting the tape with the interview in his pocket. Before he goes, he takes a pencil and writes "LIAM WAZ HERE" on the underside of the desk.

    LIAM
    Just something to remember me by!

    He runs out of the office, closes the door, and makes his exit.

    LIAM
    Thanks for everything!

    SECRETARY
    Don't mention it, Regis!

    With that, LIAM leaves the Pewter City Gazette Offices.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    That was absolutely thrilling! I haven't breathed so heavily since that time I crapped my pants!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    LIAM skips into the gym.

    LIAM
    I got the tape! I got the tape!

    BROCK
    Yeah, I know, I was listening to you the whole time, remember?

    LIAM
    No I don't remember because I got the tape!

    BROCK
    Also, why did you say, "Just something to remember me by"?

    LIAM
    Oh... that... I just... knocked one of her office plants down. That was all. I definitely didn't do anything that could connect me to being there.

    BROCK
    Okay, that's a relief. I was worried for a moment that you did something that would royally screw us over. Well, anyway, good job, Liam!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Now that I've been thinking about it, maybe writing on Gladys's desk wasn't the best idea... but still, what are the chances of her actually seeing that? I'd say: bad!

    LIAM
    So what are we going to do with this tape?

    BROCK
    I have a great idea in mind! Put the tape right in the middle of the floor there!

    LIAM places the tape in the middle of the arena.

    BROCK
    Okay! Geodude, go!

    BROCK throws a Pokéball and releases GEODUDE, a floating rock with arms coming out of its sides.

    GEODUDE
    Dude dude, Geodude!

    BROCK
    Yeah, shut up wise guy!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Sometimes I really don't like the tone of voice my Pokémon take with me!

    BROCK
    Anyway, Geodude, you see that tape over there? Let's give it a Rock Throw!

    GEODUDE floats over to one of the many rocks that litter the floor of the arena, picks it up, floats over to the tape, and smashes it with the rock. The tape flies all over into pieces, and BROCK and LIAM cheer.

    BROCK
    I guess that tape wasn't as solid as a rock after all!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    The work of a gym leader never ends. I didn't battle any trainers who were trying to get my badge today, but I did prevent a threatening article from being released, and I feel one of those is more important than the other. And I feel it's the preventing an article from being released one. At the end of the day, when people look back on my legacy, sure, I may not have battled that often, but as long as there isn't a published article out there telling people I didn't battle that often, I'll be fine. And no one can ever take that away from me. Unless that article is ever published.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GAZETTE OFFICES

    GLADYS returns to her office, still fuming.

    GLADYS
    I can't believe some punk *** kid named Regis has the nerve to accuse me of corrupt journalism! Just for that, I'm working extra hard today! Good thing I finished that robbery article! I'm going to work on that interview now!

    GLADYS sits at her desk, opens a new page on her word processor, and takes out the tape recorder. She presses play, but nothing plays back to her.

    GLADYS
    Huh?

    GLADYS takes more tapes out from her desk, puts them in the recorder, and plays them, but none of them are the recording she wants.

    GLADYS
    Dammit!

    GLADYS (T.H.)
    So I guess I didn't turn on the recorder when I did my interview with Brock. Ugh! It makes me feel as if I'm as big of an oaf as Brock is! It's terrible! And why am I still being taped, anyway?
    Last edited by Neko Godot; 4th June 2011 at 4:26 PM.

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

  2. #2
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    oh boy, i love screenplays. I'm better at writing them than anything else. the only problem i have with yours is that there aren't any FADE IN or DISSOLVE IN at the end of a scene.

    i also thought some of your curse/inappropriate words were a bit unnecessary and didn't fit, especially becuase you didn't give a rating.

    other than than, great script!
    Fan of Jurassic Park? Jurassic Park Legacy is your friend: http://www.jplegacy.org/board/index.php

  3. #3
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    In mockumentaries like Parks and Recreations, usually the scenes just cut into each other and there are no fade ins. I checked The Office screenplay that I have, and it confirmed for me that I'm doing it right. It also confirmed that I'm doing the talking heads wrong, but whatever, I can fix that later.

    And as for profanity, the forum censors all of it anyway, so I don't give a **** what I write.

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

  4. #4
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    Oh boy this is about the most entertaining thing I've read in a while! Might I suggest a Brock's "Onix" + Misty's "Cloyster" joke at some point?

    If you continue I will keep reading for sure.

    Also, this is me confirming there is no fade in/fade out for shows like The Office

  5. #5
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    I'll also confirm that there are no fade in/fade out things in screenplays at all. A screenplay isn't supposed to give any camera directions or even characters actions beyond what is absolutely crucial to the plot.

    The reason for this is because it is the director's and actor's job to fill in all those gaps. So if the director wants to use a fade in/fade out effect, they will. If not, no problem. If the actor takes an action (like 'is upset'), they might clutch their fist, grit their teeth, cry, etc., or they might not. The screenwriter is just supposed to write the story. It's very different from prose and even plays you see in the theatre, details like that actually need to be left out. Neko Godot is doing things correctly.

    Not trying to sound harsh or like a know-it-all if that's how I came across ^_^;

    Anyway, onto the actually story.

    Every time you went to a Talking Head part I always either laughed or smiled at it. And everything Brock says is hilarious. (The Onix part was really well thought out XD)

    The bar scene as a whole was excellent. Poor Brock isn't getting the kind of exposure he wants. This was my favorite line in that scene:

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I thought the interview went really well, I thought the reporter was into me, I thought the fruit in the bowl on the table wasn't wooden and okay to eat... why is everything I think wrong?
    XD

    I love how Liam is basically mindless when talking to Brock. It makes every stupid thing Brock does ten times funnier. And the office part was great too, the Chief Editor part was so ridiculous that it somehow made sense (the 'kids are innocent line').

    Since this is only a fanfiction, you don't have to take the following into account; it's just some screenplay stuff that is applied in movies (which might be different from TV shows, but I don't think there is much a difference):

        Spoiler:- film stuff:


    Is this a one-shot? I'd love to see more.
    Yu-Gi-Oh: World Tour
    ~NEW~
    A collab fic (w/ Brandy Beavers & Uninspired Author)
    Third Stop is up [11/28/14]

    Heroic Potential
    A Yugioh! fic. Chapter 20 is up [12/14/13]

  6. #6
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    Okay, thanks for the advice on screenplays! I don't think I'll implement capitalizing objects now, though, because I'm in kind of a writing groove and I don't want to change ships midstream. Also, this isn't a one shot; if I'm lucky I'll have episode 2 up tomorrow.

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

  7. #7
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    Episode 2: Exercise Tapes

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    BROCK (TALKING HEAD)
    Every now and then, I have to let my Pokémon out and train them for a bit, you know, Arceus forbid I ever have to actually get into a gym battle.

    BROCK is standing in the gym, watching his ONIX and GEODUDE. LIAM watches, sitting on a rock.

    BROCK
    Okay Onix, how about you go do some laps around the gym?

    ONIX
    On, Onix!

    ONIX tries to race around the gym, but instead only manages to move about a few feet, causing an earthquake, shaking Brock around, and throwing LIAM off the rock he was sitting on.

    LIAM
    Aaack!

    LIAM falls onto the floor.

    LIAM
    Ow!

    BROCK
    This is bad.

    LIAM
    I know; I think I hurt my head!

    BROCK
    No! I'm not talking about you falling! I'm talking about Onix's pathetic performance right now! What the hell was that?

    LIAM
    He did move pretty slow.

    BROCK
    Tectonic plates move faster!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    As a Pokémon trainer, my Pokémon's performances are a reflection on me. So if my Pokémon can't perform, girls are going to start thinking I can't perform... in bed.

    BROCK
    Onix, try using Rock Polish. Maybe that will make you faster.

    ONIX becomes all bright and shiny, and then tries running again. Although Onix is able to crawl around a tiny bit faster this time, he cause even more chaos doing it, as cracks start appearing in the gym floor and LIAM is forced into rolling on the ground.

    LIAM
    Whaaah!

    BROCK
    Enough Onix!

    BROCK takes out a Pokéball and returns ONIX.

    BROCK
    That was just terrible. Maybe Geodude can do better. Try some jumping jacks!

    GEODUDE
    Geodude, dude!

    GEODUDE tries to get up in the air, but instead crashes down into the ground, getting stuck, struggling to push itself out.

    GEODUDE
    Geo geo geo!

    BROCK
    Liam, go help him out.

    LIAM gets up off the ground and runs over to GEODUDE. After struggling for a bit, LIAM pulls GEODUDE out, but the force of GEODUDE flying up knocks LIAM backwards.

    LIAM
    Ooof!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    You'd think most gym assistants would be upset if their leader was only training his Pokémon once a week. Not me!

    BROCK
    Geodude, return.

    BROCK takes out a Pokéball and forces GEODUDE back in.

    BROCK
    Well, all my Pokémon are in worse condition than I thought.

    LIAM
    But does that really matter? When was the last time you actually fought a challenger anyway?

    BROCK
    Two months ago. But let's say, for example, this totally hot babe, a perfect ten on the Brock Hotness Scale, comes over and wants a gym battle. We battle, I totally kick her ***, and she goes, "Oh Brock, you're so strong." One thing leads to another, I end up back at her place, and then we-

    LIAM
    Okay, I get!

    BROCK
    -have sex.

    LIAM shakes his head as BROCK grins.

    LIAM
    Well what if we gave your Pokémon lots of vitamins? That would make them stronger, right?

    BROCK
    Oh, I'd love to! But you know that my alcohol and Pokémon budget is the same, right? And a certain someone had to order fifty Shirley Temples when we went out to the bar a couple of nights ago.

    LIAM looks sheepishly into the camera.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    I'm just a kid! I'm not going to be drinking any alcoholic beverages at a bar. Is it my fault Shirley Temples are the most expensive drink they make there? It doesn't even make any sense!

    BROCK
    So do you have any better ideas, Liam?

    LIAM
    Nope! That's all I got!

    BROCK
    Ugh. I don't want to actually get my Pokémon into battles to earn experience. That's too much work! Come up with something, Liam! I didn't hire you to sit around and do nothing! Brainstorm some ideas!

    LIAM
    Will do!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    So this is what I have so far...

    LIAM holds a list up to the camera. At the top of the list is written "Pokémon Training Ideas" underlined. The rest is blank. LIAM shakes his head.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    I really like the way I wrote that "T", though!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE

    BROCK sits down at his desk and starts banging his head on it.

    BROCK
    What am I going to do? What am I going to do?!

    BROCK picks up the remote control for the TV and turns it on.

    BROCK
    Oh well, the good old TV can heal my wounds when alcohol can't at the moment.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I love watching TV! My favorite is pornography. Unfortunately I can't watch it here because I'm always afraid Liam will walk in.

    BROCK flips around channels until an infomerical catches his eye. CHUCK is on the TV.

    CHUCK (T.V.)
    Hi, I'm Chuck! I'm the gym leader of Cianwood City!

    BROCK
    Wow, it's a good thing I just happened to tune in at the very beginning of this commercial!

    CHUCK (T.V.)
    Sure, as a gym leader, I believe in Pokémon training, but personal training is important too!

    BROCK
    You know what, that's right!

    CHUCK (T.V.)
    I train under a waterfall everyday! I expect you're probably too sissy to do that, though!

    BROCK
    Damn right!

    CHUCK (T.V.)
    Luckily for you, I've created a program for those that have weaker constitutions!

    BROCK
    I have a weak constitution!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    This Chuck guy is reading my mind! He must be a Psychic type gym leader or something!

    CHUCK (T.V.)
    I've created a special video program called "Let's Chuck Tonight, Baby!" In it, I'll go over my video exclusive training exercises that'll bring you from nacho to macho! Wait a minute... "nacho to macho"? Who wrote this crap? Anyway, these tapes can be yours for only four easy payments of $19.99 plus unreasonable shipping and handling fees! To order, just visit my website: chuckvideo.biz!

    BROCK
    I need those tapes!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    My way of thinking was wrong the whole time! I thought that in order to be strong, my Pokémon had to be strong. But I figured out I can just skip the entire Pokémon part and just make myself strong! That sure saves a lot of time!

    BROCK
    Liam, get in here!

    LIAM (OFF CAMERA)
    Yes, sir!

    LIAM runs into the office.

    LIAM
    What is it sir?

    BROCK
    Have we spent any of our monthly gym equipment budget yet?

    LIAM
    Nope! We have every penny of it!

    BROCK
    Good! I'm going to be spending it on something very important!

    BROCK boots the computer at his desk up and navigates to the chuckvideo.biz webpage. As he does so, LIAM talks to him.

    LIAM
    What are you buying?

    BROCK
    Exercise tapes! I'm going to be nice and strong, and all the ladies will love me!

    LIAM
    That sounds like a great plan!

    BROCK
    Aha, I just got on the website! Hey, they have rush delivery here for only twenty bucks! Should I go for it?

    LIAM
    Why not? Who would want to wait?

    BROCK furiously types in all of the needed information into the website and clicks on the ORDER button. With that done, he leans back in his chair.

    BROCK
    Done and done.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Exercise tapes for only a hundred bucks? This is the best investment I've made ever since I bought shares in that Team Rocket group!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    The next day, BROCK is in the gym when LIAM comes in holding a package.

    LIAM
    The mail just got dropped off! Looks like the tapes are in!

    BROCK
    Awesome! Can you bring the TV out here? I don't want to work out in the office because they say you should keep your work space and your workout space separate.

    LIAM
    Who are "they"?

    BROCK
    People that know more than us, Liam. People that know more than us.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Actually I read it in a magazine, but if Liam heard that I was actually reading something, he'd think that I'm a gigantic nerd!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    If Brock was going to say that he READ that you have to keep your work space separate from your work out space, I swear I would think he was the biggest nerd ever.

    LIAM hands BROCK the package and runs into the office to bring the TV out. As LIAM does that, BROCK rips open the package to find three tapes titled "Let's Chuck Tonight, Baby!" On the cover of the tapes are pictures of a shirtless Chuck with one of his fingers in his mouth.

    BROCK
    Okay... that's kind of a strange choice in cover art.

    LIAM runs back out with the TV, sets it up, and sees the cover art.

    LIAM
    Hey, that looks like the kind of pictures my uncle likes looking at!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Gay? No, my uncle's not gay! He has gone through a lot of roommates though: Brad, Chad, this one guy that dressed like a girl. But again, to answer your question: no, he's not gay.

    BROCK
    Whatever. Let's put this tape in and you can watch me as I watch this.

    LIAM
    That sounds like great fun, sir!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Sometimes on slow days, Brock will play videogames. I'm so happy he only has one control so that I can only watch him play, because I'd hate it if I had to actually play along with him!


    BROCK takes the tape out and places it into the VCR of the TV. CHUCK appears on the screen.

    CHUCK (T.V.)
    Hey everyone, it's me! Chuck! I hope you're ready to work that body, because it's time to Chuck tonight, baby!

    LIAM
    Yay!

    CHUCK (T.V.)
    The first exclusive exercise we'll be doing is the Chuck push up. This is exactly like a normal push up, except I'll be counting off on the TV here!

    As CHUCK counts off on the TV, BROCK does push ups along with the count, although he has some difficulty. After ten push ups, the count stops.

    BROCK
    I feel myself getting stronger already!

    CHUCK (T.V.)
    Good job! Now we're moving on to the next exclusive exercise: the Chuck sit up! This is just like a normal sit up, but again, I'm counting, so you have that extra motivator. Let's begin!

    BROCK does ten sit ups as CHUCK counts them off on the TV.

    LIAM
    This is amazing! It's like Chuck is right here in the gym with us!

    BROCK takes the TV remote and pauses the video.

    BROCK
    I feel like I can take on the world... and tie it! Watch me pick up one of those rocks!

    BROCK runs over to one of the rocks littering the floor of the gym, bends over, and attempts to pick it up. He fails.

    LIAM
    Put more knee into it!

    BROCK bends his knees more as he struggles to try and lift the rock, but still has no luck.

    BROCK
    Eh... it's my fault! I should have waited until I finished the video!

    BROCK runs back over to the TV and starts the video again.

    CHUCK (T.V.)
    Okay, those were some great sit ups!

    BROCK
    Heh, see? Chuck said those sit ups were great!

    CHUCK (T.V.)
    Next up is an exclusive exercise I like to call the Chuck jumping jack!

    LIAM
    Oh, this sounds like a good one sir!

    BROCK
    Shut up! I need to hear the instructions!

    LIAM
    Oh, I'm so sorry sir!

    CHUCK (T.V.)
    Just do regular jumping jacks, and I'll count them off!

    BROCK
    Sounds great!

    BROCK does ten jumping jacks as CHUCK counts them off.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    These exercise tapes are great! I don't know how I would be able to work out without them!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE

    BROCK is sitting in his office when LIAM walks in.

    LIAM
    That was quite the work out today, sir! Anyway, it's getting pretty late, so I'm going to head home for the night.

    BROCK
    Wait, Liam, hold on!

    LIAM
    What is it?

    BROCK
    I think I have a way for us to make loads of cash!

    LIAM
    You know I'm not in this for the money, sir!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    That's a lie. I kind of am. I didn't leave home at age ten like most Pokémon trainers do, so my parents make me pay rent and utilities. It's kind of like a big game of Monopoly!

    BROCK
    Oh, I know that, I just need your help, and I'd obviously give you a cut of the profits.

    LIAM
    Okay, what's your plan?

    BROCK
    Watching those tapes gave me an idea. I was willing to blow a hundred bucks just for tapes of a gym leader training me! Can you imagine how much people would pay to have a gym leader train them in real life?

    LIAM
    I'd have my parents mortgage off our house for that opportunity!

    BROCK
    Exactly! I'd be raking in the cash! So anyway, I made up a bunch of fliers advertising the new Brock Fitness Extravaganza program! So if you could just hang these up around the city before you go home, that'd be great.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Liam runs a lot of errands outside the gym for me too. I don't know how I'd handle my milk curdling if it wasn't for his runs to the grocery store to by new milk.

    BROCK hands the stack of fliers to LIAM.

    LIAM
    Of course! I won't disappoint you, sir!

    LIAM runs out.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    This is the greatest idea I've ever had. I don't see how this can go wrong.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    BROCK and LIAM stand, overseeing the gym. Various mats are placed around the gym.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    So this morning when I came in I had to clean up the entire gym, get all the exercise gear out, and basically make all the other preparations while Brock supervised. I'm so excited!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    The great thing about being a boss is that saying that you're "supervising" is a legitimate excuse to get out of doing anything!

    An elderly woman, HARRIET, walks into the gym.

    HARRIET
    Hello? Is this the gym? I'm looking for the fitness program.

    BROCK
    ****! What's this old fart doing here?

    LIAM
    Yes, the personal training program is going on here!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    When I set up this personal training program, I was hoping that some hot girls would show up that were mainly interested in some private "training" afterward, if you catch my drift... and my drift is sex.

    HARRIET
    My name is Harriet, by the way.

    BROCK
    Well, Harriet, the program costs two hundred dollars.

    HARRIET
    Ah, I think I have that somewhere.

    HARRIET rummages through her handbag until she finds the required amount of money.

    HARRIET
    Here it is! It sure is a lot, though. I guess I'm going to have to write one of my grandkids out of my will.

    LIAM takes the money and brings it to the office. Next, a middle aged man, MERV, walks into the gym.

    MERV
    Yeah, hip, cool Merv is here to train and become hipper and cooler!

    As MERV walks over to the mats, he trips and falls on a rock.

    MERV
    Ow, my back!

    MERV (T.H.)
    Am I going through a midlife crisis? Of course not! Anyone who watches this documentary will see proof of that! And I mean, that sports car I bought? I've been saving up for that my whole life? The trophy wife? I met her at a factory that makes trophies, so I only married her for the irony of it! The sunglasses and the Hawaiian shirt? Who doesn't dress like this?

    Finally, JOYCE walks into the gym.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    When I saw Joyce walk into the gym, I got pretty nervous. Things didn't go so well with her last time. But I know that if I put on the old Brock charm, flash a smile, give off a life maybe, I can win her over.

    BROCK walks over to JOYCE with a big, stupid grin on his face.

    JOYCE
    Oh... hi Brock.

    BROCK
    Joyce! Nice to see you! You come here to get fit with me?

    JOYCE
    Nope. I just dropped by because I figured it could be amusing to watch you get a chance to... interact with more people.

    BROCK
    Ahahahahaha! You're so funny, Joyce!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Yeah, I'm going to give up on her.

    BROCK heads to the front of the mats, only three of which are occupied by HARRIET, MERV, and LIAM. JOYCE watches while standing in the back.

    BROCK
    Hello everyone! I'm so glad you were all able to make it to my fitness extravaganza! I'm Brock, the Pewter City Gym Leader, and I'll be training you today! Are there any questions before we start?

    MERV
    Yeah, where's the bathroom? It's getting close to three o' clock, and I always have to go number two at three o' clock. I'm like clockwork when it comes to defecating!

    JOYCE giggles in the back at the question. BROCK waits until she's finished to answer him.

    BROCK
    The bathroom is right by my office over there. Any other questions?

    HARRIET
    Who's that gentleman with the camera? Is he going to follow me home and try to steal my money? I don't want anyone seeing that I keep it under my mattress.

    HARRIET (T.H.)
    Please, I would like it if you stopped filming me! If you followed me to the bank, you'd learn that my PIN is 0001, and I can't have you finding that out!

    JOYCE laughs even harder at this question than she did at the previous one. BROCK once again waits for her to finish.

    BROCK
    Don't worry about him. Anyway, let's begin! Do we all know what a push up is?

    MERV
    Oh yeah, of course.

    HARRIET
    What's a push up?

    BROCK
    You just lay down on the floor, belly down, and use your hands to push yourself up and down.

    HARRIET
    Oh, I know that! Back in the day we used to call them press highs!

    BROCK
    Okay... let's get started already! Everyone on their mats!

    LIAM, HARRIET, and MERV all get into push up position.

    BROCK
    And go!

    LIAM, HARRIET, and MERV all start doing push ups, but LIAM is the only one able to do them. HARRIET and MERV both collapse on the floor after trying to lift themselves up once. JOYCE giggles at this.

    BROCK
    Liam, keep up the good work! Merv and Harriet, um... give it another try!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I was expecting for the people coming to this program to be in better shape! What am I supposed to do? Train them to be fit?!

    MERV (T.H.)
    Man, I'll tell you, just trying to do that one push up made me feel stronger than I've been in ages!

    BROCK
    Okay, we're going to take a quick break. Liam, my office, please!

    LIAM
    Yes, sir!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE

    BROCK and LIAM enter the office. BROCK sits down.

    BROCK
    Liam, we need to figure out a way to make those two think they're getting fitter without actually making them fitter.

    LIAM
    Why can't we actually make them fitter?

    BROCK
    Because I don't know how to!

    LIAM
    Well then, we need to figure out how to make them think they're getting fitter without actually making them fitter.

    BROCK
    If I wanted you to repeat everything I said, I would have hired a Chatot. Do you have any actual ideas?

    At that moment, MERV walks into the office.

    MERV
    Oh, heads up there! I thought this was the bathroom. It's that time of the day and I got to go!

    MERV exits the office.

    BROCK
    Okay... hold up, Liam! I think I have a great idea!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    MERV and HARRIET are both on their mats when BROCK and LIAM walk back out.

    BROCK
    Okay, I have a special exercise just for you two!

    HARRIET
    What is it? Not more press highs!

    BROCK
    Nope! Both of you stand up! I know exactly how both of you are going to get into shape!

    MERV and HARRIET stand up.

    BROCK
    Okay, now I want both of you to walk around the gym, as slow as you can!

    As MERV and HARRIET begin their slow walk around the gym perimeter, with LIAM deciding to join them, BROCK approaches JOYCE.

    BROCK
    Well, Joyce, I bet you thought I was going to fail as a personal trainer, but I may be able to trick this two into thinking they're fit yet!

    JOYCE
    Trick them? So you aren't going to actually make them fit? How much did they pay for this again?

    BROCK
    You can't put a price on being deceived! Except when you buy a newspaper, I guess.

    JOYCE
    You know my friend Gladys works in the newspaper industry! I resent that comment!

    BROCK
    Oh shut it!

    LIAM, MERV, and HARRIET all finish their walk.

    HARRIET
    Now what? It's getting close to my bedtime!

    BROCK
    Okay, now walk around the gym, but this time don't walk so slow, and maybe... um... put more motion into your arms or something!

    LIAM, MERV, and HARRIET all begin walking again, this time at a quicker pace, and all of them seem very impressed.

    MERV
    Wow! The trophy wife is going to love the new, faster me!

    HARRIET
    I feel like I'm listening to one of my husband's war stories, I'm going so fast!

    LIAM
    I can't believe it! I'm going faster! It's working; it's really working!

    BROCK turns to JOYCE.

    BROCK
    See? I really whipped them into shape!

    JOYCE
    You didn't do anything! Of course they'd feel like they'd become faster after you told them to walk so slow before.

    BROCK
    Do you know the saying mind over matter? It means that when your exercising, it doesn't matter if you don't become stronger as long as you just think you're becoming stronger.

    JOYCE
    And with that, I'm out. I hope you felt good scamming these people out of there money.

    JOYCE leaves the gym, and LIAM, MERV, and HARRIET finish their lap around the gym.

    JOYCE (T.H.)
    I do not condone that sort of behavior at all. Really, my only hope is that when this documentary airs, Brock will be exposed for the big fraud that he is... and maybe that some incredibly hot guys will start returning my phone calls since I've been on TV.

    BROCK
    Great job guys! We're done! Now you're all super strong!

    MERV and HARRIET leave the gym.

    LIAM
    That was amazing! I can't believe how strong I am now!

    BROCK
    Liam, I told you the plan beforehand!

    LIAM
    I know! And it worked!

    BROCK
    Well, it sure does feel good to have made six hundred dollars.

    LIAM
    Six hundred? But I thought that balding guy and the old lady were the only ones who paid the two hundred dollar fee.

    BROCK
    Oh, well since you participated too, I'm going to have to get money from you as well.

    LIAM
    Okay! I'll just have to get it from my parents!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    At the end of the day, would I have rather trained my Pokémon or those people? Of course I'd rather have trained those people! They paid me handsomely in cash money! But really, it's not about that. It's about making people feel like they're better than they actually are. You think that old croon is actually going to exercise anymore once she gets home? You think that midlife crisis guy wants to put any effort into being fit? Of course not! But it's not about them doing it; it's about them thinking they can do it, and that's all that matters. Mind over matter!

    INT. CIANWOOD CITY GYM

    CHUCK (T.H.)
    Those tapes I produce? They're the biggest scam ever. A Chuck Push Up? I'm going to let you in on a little secret: there's no such thing as a Chuck Push Up. However, I can slap my name on anything, and people will think that those exercise tapes are actually working for them because a gym leader is telling them what to do! It's all about mind over matter, baby!

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

  8. #8
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    Ahahaha! I had high hopes for Chapter 2, and it didn't fail to amuse me!

    I think it would be interesting to know how Brock ended up as a gym leader in the first place, given his complete incompetence *hint hint*

  9. #9
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    This series doesn't really concern itself with WHY Brock is a gym leader despite his incompetence; it deals more with the consequences of that incompetence. At the end of the day, we can just say he was hired due to nepotism in the league and leave it at that.

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

  10. #10
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    Episode 3: Spelunking

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    It's early in the morning, and BROCK and LIAM are standing in the gym. In front of LIAM are two backpacks and a variety of other items. As BROCK names a pair of items, LIAM places them into the backpacks.

    BROCK
    Hard hats?

    LIAM
    Check!

    BROCK
    Pickaxes?

    LIAM
    Check!

    BROCK
    Wine and cheese spread for a midday snack?

    LIAM
    Check!

    BROCK (TALKING HEAD)
    Today Liam and I are going on our monthly spelunking trip to Mt. Moon. One time when I was exploring Mt. Moon, I found a shiny coin. It turned out that it was worth nothing, but I figured that if I could find a worthless piece of crap, I could also find something really valuable too, so I started to organize these monthly spelunking trips.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Spelunking is great! It's nice to get an opportunity to get out of the gym. It's like a big cave in here. Going to a real cave really relaxes me.

    BROCK
    Now then, I just want to go over some safety procedures before we head out.

    LIAM
    Yes, sir!

    BROCK
    Last time a certain someone thought it would be fun to sneak up on a Clefairy and got his *** metronomed into a week long stay at the Pewter City Hospital. Let's not tease the Pokémon this time.

    LIAM
    Yes, sir!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    I just wanted to give it a hug! But it turns out when you sneak up on someone really silently and don't give them any warning that they're about to be hugged, they don't like it! Go figure!

    BROCK
    Also, I know I don't need to remind you, but I'll say it anyway: wear your hardhat at all times when in the cave.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    The hardhat isn't just a safety tool; it's useful for flirting as well. Sometimes when I go out to Mt. Moon, a girl will come up to me and say, "Wow, is that hard hat? Are you going spelunking?" and I'll say back, "Why yes I am, and my hat isn't the only thing that's hard right now!"

    EXT. ROUTE 3

    BROCK and LIAM have been walking along Route 3 for close to half an hour.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    My least favorite part about going spelunking is the walk there. It's an hour walk, and we're only halfway there! Some people always try and tell you that life's about the journey, not the destination, though... well screw them!

    BROCK
    Ugh, we need to start packing lighter...

    LIAM
    Maybe if we just didn't pack a snack and got some food at the cafe...

    BROCK
    Liam, I told you many times, that old lady there tried to poison me!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Anytime an old person cooks for me, I consider it an attempt to try to poison me. They're old and they probably got all their old people germs on the food. I saved the entire Pokémon League at our annual barbecue when I tackled Agatha before she tried cooking some hot dogs.

    LIAM
    What if we bought a car?

    BROCK
    Eh, I'm waiting for the prices of those electric cars to drop. Chicks dig guys that pretend to care about the environment.

    LIAM
    Well, I've run out of ideas.

    BROCK
    That's why you're just an assistant. You know, maybe we should just consider this walk as an exercise. It's like Chuck said in those videos: we can't just stop exercising when the tapes finish. We have to find ways to exercise in our daily lives!

    LIAM
    That's why when my parents tell me to take the trash out now, I always do some squats with the garbage bag first!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Chuck inspired me to create my own series of exercise videos about working out around the house. I've got some great ideas... like when you're washing dishes, do a squat with every dish you wash... or when you get the mail, do a squat with every piece of mail. Most of them involve squats. Also, there's the Meowth toss. It's a great idea, but I'm still looking for investors. My parents said maybe! Brock flat out said no.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Liam's idea for exercise tapes is good in theory, but he has to work on more exercises than squats. The Meowth toss is pretty fun, though.

    BROCK
    It's about time for us to take our quick five minute break anyway. Let's stop for a moment.

    BROCK takes a bottle of water out of his backpack and starts to drink from it. LIAM takes his backpack off, lifts it up above his head, and starts doing squats.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    There's nothing better than a nice bottle of water after an exhausting walk... well... maybe sex.

    EXT. Mt. MOON ENTRANCE

    BROCK and LIAM finally arrive at the entrance to Mt. Moon.

    BROCK
    Oh, thank Arceus we're here! We can finally get to some serious spelunking!

    LIAM
    Yay!

    BROCK and LIAM are about to enter the cave when they walk by two other people on the way in, ROARK and his assistant, HEATHER.

    BROCK
    No... it can't be!

    ROARK
    Brock?! Is that you, Brock? Oh, it's so good to see you Brock!

    HEATHER
    Hi Liam.

    LIAM
    Heather.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Roark is the worst! He's the gym leader at Oreburgh City, and he also trains Rock types! He puts on this whole facade, like he's friendly or something, but he really just feels more superior than everyone else!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Heather and I... have a history. I don't want to talk about it.

    HEATHER
    Yes, Liam and I do have a history. Why do you ask?

    BROCK
    What are you even doing here, Roark? Mt. Moon is way too far from Sinnoh. You should have just stayed the hell over there!

    HEATHER
    I was doing some research when I read that there are a lot of rare stones over in Mt. Moon, so I told Roark and we took a trip over.

    ROARK
    Yup! We took a boat over to Kanto, but once we hit land again, we drove over here in a rental hybrid car. You should buy one of those, you know. It's our duty to take care of the environment.

    BROCK
    Heh, is it?

    LIAM
    So did you guys find anything? We were hoping to go spelunking now.

    ROARK
    Don't worry, we left plenty for you. Heather and I did find a plethora of rare gems and stones though. Of course, we're just going to donate them to the Oreburgh City Museum. For me, spelunking isn't about getting rich; it's just about the love of the hobby.

    BROCK
    Oh, is that so?

    BROCK (T.H.)
    AAARGH! I just want to punch this guy in the face!

    HEATHER
    Are you guys doing okay? Your backpacks look heavy.

    BROCK
    No, they're fine.

    ROARK
    Oh hey, here's a tip when it comes to packing! Don't bring any food with you. There's this lovely cafe in the Mt. Moon courtyard run by this delightful elderly lady. The meal Heather and I had there was delicious.

    BROCK
    There's a cafe there?

    ROARK
    Isn't that funny? Even though Brock probably visits Mt. Moon all the time, I'm the one giving him advice like I'm the local. That's a funny situation right there, isn't it, Brock?

    BROCK
    Oh, it's sooo funny.

    ROARK
    Well, Heather and I have a long trip back to Sinnoh now, so hopefully we'll catch up with you guys later. I know I'll definitely see you at that Rock type convention coming up! I'm looking forward to it!

    BROCK
    Oh yes, me too. Bye now.

    HEATHER
    Bye Liam.

    ROARK (T.H.)
    Brock? That guy is great! Sometimes he can seem a bit antisocial, though.

    ROARK and HEATHER walk away.

    BROCK
    Ugh! This is terrible! That goodie-two-shoes thinks he can outdo me?

    LIAM
    I know! He's the worst!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Actually, I think Roark is an okay guy... though I'd never say that in front of Brock.

    BROCK
    The only option we have now is to find stones even rarer than the ones Roark find and donate all of them to the Pewter City Museum! That'll show him! Let's get going, Liam!

    LIAM
    Yes, sir!

    BROCK and LIAM enter the cave.

    INT. MT. MOON

    BROCK and LIAM put on their hardhats and take out their pickaxes.

    BROCK
    It's spelunking time!

    BROCK moves over to the cave wall and starts chipping away at it.

    LIAM
    Hey, wouldn't it be better if we went deeper into the cave? There are probably more rare stones there than here, right at the entrance.

    BROCK
    True, but if we go spelunking here it's quicker for us to leave, and we won't get lost in the complicated system of tunnels built into the mountain.

    LIAM
    Wow, sir! You're always thinking! That's a great plan!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I don't get why he just suggested that now when we've been spelunking like ten times already!

    LIAM joins BROCK in chipping away at the cave wall.

    LIAM
    Hey, you know what would be cool? If we started singing a song to the beat of our pickaxes hitting the cave!

    BROCK
    That's a terrible idea.

    LIAM decides to sing anyway.

    LIAM
    I'm in Mt. Moon... I'm going spelunking... will I find something... I don't really know... maybe a rock... or a nice stone

    BROCK decides to join in.

    BROCK
    Or maybe I nice girl... that I can bone!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    The song was going pretty well... until Brock ruined it. He shouldn't quit his day job... because then I'd be out of a day job too.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Yes, I did say that singing a song would be a terrible idea... but interrupting Liam always makes him stop!

    LIAM
    Well now I need something else to do in order to pass the time!

    BROCK
    What do you mean? You should be having fun just spelunking!

    LIAM
    Spelunking isn't fun if we're just going to chip away at rock! That isn't even real spelunking!

    BROCK
    Fine! You want to go REAL spelunking?! Let's do that! Put away your pickax! We're moving out!

    LIAM
    Uh... okay.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    I'm really scared to go real spelunking now for some reason.

    BROCK and LIAM are walking down the cave path.

    BROCK
    Boy, this tunnel sure is long! And dark too! Who knows where we are? We may even be lost! But at least it's REAL spelunking, so it's sooo much fun!

    LIAM
    Why do I have a feeling you don't really think so, sir?

    BROCK
    Nope! This is great!

    As the two walk, LIAM happens to kick a stone.

    LIAM
    What's that?

    LIAM runs to the stone and picks it up.

    LIAM
    Wow! This looks like a moon stone!

    BROCK takes the stone from LIAM and examines it.

    BROCK
    Yeah, it is a moon stone. So who cares? This is Mt. MOON, the place is lousy with them. You think the Pewter City Museum would give a damn if I donated a moon stone? We need something spectacular!

    BROCK throws the moon stone away.

    LIAM
    Hey, maybe I wanted to keep that!

    BROCK
    Please, it's worthless anyway!

    LIAM
    Hmph.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Usually things between Brock and I go pretty swell. Today? Not so much.

    BROCK and LIAM now reach a crossroads in the tunnel.

    BROCK
    Now is a good time for that snack I packed.

    BROCK opens up his backpack to take out a cheese and cracker platter, a bottle of wine, and a wine glass. BROCK and LIAM begin snacking on the cheese and crackers.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    At least I still have my snacks. The only way this day could get worse is if I had to eat at the old fart's cafe.

    As BROCK pours himself a glass of wine, LIAM complains.

    LIAM
    Is there anything there that I can drink, sir?

    BROCK
    Water.

    LIAM
    But I don't like drinking water with my snacks! I like to keep my snack drinks and my hydration drinks different.

    BROCK
    Tough, kid. All I have is water.

    LIAM
    Why didn't you pack a juice box for me or something?

    BROCK
    What, am I your babysitter now? Want me to change your diaper too?!

    LIAM
    Hey, don't make fun of that! I finally got off the diaper three months ago!

    BROCK
    Well good for you!

    LIAM
    It was good for me! Why would finally not having to wear diapers be bad for me?!

    BROCK
    I don't know!

    LIAM
    You don't know anything! You're an idiot, Brock!

    LIAM takes the wine glass and throws it at the ground, smashing it into pieces.

    BROCK
    Great! Now I have to drink the wine straight out of the bottle! Do you know how unsanitary that is?!

    LIAM
    No, I don't! I don't even drink wine! How should I know?!

    BROCK
    You should still keep up with health reports!

    LIAM picks up his backpack and stands up.

    LIAM
    I've had enough of this! I'm going spelunking by myself! Don't follow me!

    LIAM goes down one of the tunnel paths. BROCK yells at him.

    BROCK
    Fine! I'll definitely find something cool on the other path anyway! But I better finish this cheese platter first.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Sheesh, this tunnel sure has a lot of echo. I hope no one else heard all of that! Also, I really can't believe he doesn't keep up with health reports. That's just plain old negligent of him.

    INT. MT MOON CAVERN

    BROCK finds himself walking into a great big cavernous chamber of Mt. Moon. Some holes in the ceiling of the room provide natural light.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Well, I'm lost. I hope you're keeping track of where we've been, cameraman.

    BROCK explores the chamber, when in the middle of the chamber he finds a large, shiny stone.

    BROCK
    Wow! This looks like just the sort of thing I could donate to the Pewter City Museum! I wonder what it is?

    MISTY (Off CAMERA)
    It's mine!

    The redheaded gym leader, MISTY, appears in the cavern and approaches BROCK.

    MISTY
    Hands off my find, Brock!

    BROCK
    Misty? What are you doing here?!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Misty is the gym leader at Cerulean City. I have to put up with her whenever we hold league events. She's always stopping me from flirting with other girls. I think it's because she has the hots for me. Also, her sisters are totally hot.

    MISTY (T.H.)
    Brock and I...? Oh... no. No. Just... no. Where would you even get that idea?

    MISTY
    Brock, you know what I could do with a rock like this? Make money! The Cerulean City Gym could use some renovations. Have you seen the place recently? It's basically a giant pit filled with water. And I haven't cleaned the water in ages.

    BROCK
    That's so greedy of you! I just want to find something that I can donate to the Pewter City Museum! And also, you should replace pool water with new water every six months.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    People really need to read more health reports.

    MISTY
    Charity work? Are you for real? That's way too unlike you, Brock! You didn't happen to run into Roark on the way here?

    BROCK
    Why would you even think that?! You think the only reason I would want to do charity work is to upstage Roark? I take offense to that!

    MISTY
    Heh, whatever. I guess if you want this rock so bad, we can battle for it.

    BROCK
    You know that's not fair! All of your Pokémon have a type advantage over mine!

    MISTY
    Oh, I thought you were going to say it's not fair because you suck at Pokémon battling. I see your excuses have improved, at least.

    BROCK
    Just let me take that stone, Misty! As a Rock type gym leader, I deserve it!

    MISTY
    Deserve it? It's not like you have some Arceus-given right to just take the stone from me!

    MISTY (T.H.)
    Trying to reason with Brock is like trying to reason with a child... but at least you can shut the kid up with some candy.

    BROCK
    You weren't even here when I found it!

    MISTY
    That's because I was having lunch in the courtyard. There's this great cafe run by this old woman.

    BROCK
    Why does everyone think that place is so good?!

    MISTY
    Because not everyone tried to tackle Agatha when she just wanted to grille some hot dogs, Brock.

    BROCK
    We were all at risk!

    MISTY
    Please, you were only at risk of eating some high sodium content garbage.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    And high sodium intake is bad for you! Once again: health reports!

    BROCK
    Whatever. We're still no closer to solving this whole puzzle of how has ownership of this stone.

    MISTY
    There's nothing to solve. It's mine.

    BROCK
    We kind of left it open ended.

    MISTY
    We didn't. The stone is clearly mine. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking this back to Cerulean City.

    LIAM (OFF CAMERA)
    Not so fast!

    LIAM appears in the cavern.

    LIAM
    That stone is mine!

    MISTY
    Brock, your assistant is here too? Why weren't you guys together?

    LIAM
    I had to go to the bathroom, so I went off to find a hole that I could pee in. But before I had left, I had found this stone and claimed it as my own.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    All of that is a lie. I just felt really bad about getting mad at Brock like that. Then I got lost, happened upon this scene, and improvised.

    MISTY
    Ugh, I didn't need to hear that story about you having to relieve yourself. Anyway, since stone ownership laws are so lax, I guess it's yours now, Brock's assistant. Go crazy with it.

    MISTY (T.H.)
    Please, I was bluffing the whole time. I couldn't care less about that rock. I don't even know if it's worth anything. But, I found a ton of gold pieces in the corner of this room, and when I came back from lunch and saw Brock in here, I had to distract his ridiculously simple mind with any means necessary. Why didn't I just take the gold pieces with me in the first place? Um...

    LIAM
    Brock, I'm sorry I ever left you! Do you hate me for everything I said?

    BROCK
    Hate you? You managed to get this marvelous stone away from that ***** over there! You're a genius!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Sometimes, Liam can get on my nerves. He's too eager to please, and I can't tell whether it's out of general admiration for me or greedy ambition. Sometimes, like today, he's too whiny. But other times, also like today, he can be pretty useful to have around. And I love pissing off Misty.

    MISTY
    Hey, I'm still here, guys. And "that *****" has a name! It's Misty!

    BROCK
    Oh, no one cares about you, menstruating redhead! Let's go, Liam!

    LIAM
    Yes, sir!

    BROCK
    Oh yeah, but I'm going to need you to carry that stone for me.

    LIAM
    Not a problem, sir!

    BROCK
    Oh yeah, and by the way, Liam, do you know the way out?

    LIAM
    Nope! I haven't a clue, sir!

    BROCK
    Eh, that's okay. I'm sure the cameraman knows.

    LIAM picks up the stone, and he and BROCK leave the cavern.

    MISTY
    Well, at least I still have my gold.

    MISTY walks over to the corner of the cavern.

    MISTY
    Wait, where is it? Where did the gold go?!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    When I first got into that cavern, before I said anything, I spotted some gold pieces and I figured why not? So I put them in my backpack. I'm hoping I can use these to finance those exercise videos!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    LIAM is in the center of the gym, doing squats with the large, shiny stone, when BROCK comes out from his office.

    BROCK
    I just got off the phone with the Pewter City Museum. Someone's going to be over soon to check out this rock and see if it's worth being donated to the museum.

    LIAM puts the stone down.

    LIAM
    That's excellent, sir! That would definitely show that Roark who's the best Rock gym leader around!

    BROCK
    That's right! It's me! And then Roxanne. And then Roark. Because he's the worst!

    LIAM
    He sure is!

    BROCK
    Anyway, I think I'm going to put a moratorium on spelunking trips for a while. I mean, hopefully this rock we found will give us a big enough spelunking kick that we don't have to go to Mt. Moon anytime soon, right?

    LIAM
    Right, sir!

    BROCK
    Anyway, can you go check if the mail's here?

    LIAM
    Yes, sir!

    LIAM runs out of the gym to go get the mail as BROCK watches on. LIAM returns, carrying some envelopes in his hand.

    LIAM
    Here you go, Brock! Oh wait... hold on a second! I have to squat with these first!

    LIAM begins to squat with each envelope as BROCK watches him, baffled.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    That was one of the most taxing spelunking trips I've ever been on. I swear, if the museum doesn't accept this as a donation, I'm going to flip a **** on someone. Preferably Roark. Maybe I'll fart in an envelope and send it to him... nah, farts don't keep well going through the postal system. Oh, you know what? He's always sending me these stupid newspaper clippings of articles that he's mentioned in. Maybe I'll type up a fake newspaper article about how much he sucks!

    INT. OREBURGH CITY GYM

    ROARK is busy cleaning up the gym when HEATHER walks in, carrying a box of newspapers.

    HEATHER
    Good news, Roark, you made the front page!

    HEATHER places the box on the floor and lifts a paper up to show ROARK the headline: "LOCAL GYM LEADER AND PHILANTHROPIST MAKES MUSEUM DONATION".

    HEATHER (T.H.)
    I don't get why Roark always makes a big deal whenever he makes a headline in the newspaper. He owns the local press.

    ROARK
    Gee, it sure feels good to see recognition of a job well done! I wonder if Brock found anything when he went spelunking?

    HEATHER
    Probably not.

    ROARK
    Now why would you say that? Brock's a great guy, and I'm sure he could accomplish anything if he put his mind towards it!

    ROARK (T.H.)
    For me, the most important quality to have as a gym leader slash philanthropist is positive thinking. Starving kids in underdeveloped countries? I'm sure someone will eventually open up a McDonald's franchise there. Global warming? Would anyone actually want global cooling instead? Positive thinking can basically solve any problem in the world.

    HEATHER
    So what should we do with all this newspapers anyway?

    ROARK
    I know! How about we clip the article out and send them to people! I'm sure Brock would love to hear that our spelunking missions was a success, for example!

    HEATHER
    You really like that guy, don't you?

    ROARK
    I've told you before, he's a great guy! You should talk to him more!

    HEATHER
    I'm afraid he'd hit on me like every other female he sets his eyes on.

    ROARK
    Heh, I don't think he's a lecherous rascal! He just gets very enthusiastic about women, that's all!

    HEATHER
    Whatever you say, Roark.

    ROARK
    But I told you what I said: he's not lecherous; he's just enthusiastic!

    HEATHER
    I heard you the first time!

    ROARK
    Oh, sorry then. But speaking of hearing, you should get your ears examined! Current health reports say you should go for a yearly hearing check up!

    ROARK (T.H.)
    By the way, I LOVE health reports! I always try to get Brock to read them too, but he claims he hates them. He doesn't know what he's missing!

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    The courtroom
    Posts
    2,384

    Default

    Episode 4: The Challenger

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    BROCK and LIAM are talking in the arena.

    BROCK
    So the other day I was walking down the street and I saw this girl with a great caboose walking in front of me.

    LIAM
    Oh, really?

    LIAM (TALKING HEAD)
    Brock's stories about girls always end disastrously. One time he ended up hitting on a grandma. Another time he ended up hitting on HIS grandma. Don't even ask me how that happened.

    BROCK
    Yeah. So I whistle at her and she turns around. Turns out it was a guy with a really long haircut.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    I told you so.

    BROCK
    So now I may or may not be accused of sexual harassment. I told the guy my name was Biff Heartengale, so I'm hoping he doesn't find me.

    LIAM
    That's good, sir.

    BROCK
    But anyway, that's only the first outrageous thing that happened to me that day. You see, I ran into my grandma again...

    A knocking noise is heard coming from the gym door.

    BROCK
    Who the hell could that be?

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I can't believe someone managed to interrupt one of my famous stories about my grandma. You can't believe how many times I've mistaken her for someone else! A much more attractive someone else, by the way.

    LIAM
    We don't have anyone scheduled to visit, do we, sir?

    BROCK
    That means it could only be someone looking for a gym battle... ****.

    LIAM
    What excuse do we use this time, sir?

    BROCK
    Hm... last time I used "foreigner converting the gym into a Denny's franchise". I think I may have something new up my sleeve.

    BROCK goes over to the door and opens it. A teenage trainer, HAL, is waiting at the door.

    HAL
    Hi, my name's Hal. You're Brock, right? I want a gym battle.

    BROCK
    Brock... DON'T SAY THAT NAME AGAIN AROUND ME!

    HAL
    Um... what?

    BROCK
    I'm his brother. Well, I was his brother, but then he had to go and die. As his last remaining relative, I got stuck with all his stuff, including his bastard lovechild!

    BROCK points at LIAM.

    BROCK
    Look at that hideous child! I don't want to raise him! I don't have time! I'm a successful millionaire playboy! Now get out of my life, Hal!

    BROCK slams the door shut on HAL.

    LIAM
    Bravo, sir! Excellent performance!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    That was honestly one of the best performances Brock has ever done, only beaten by "drunken hobo using the gym as a shelter" and "gay barkeep converting the gym into a nightclub".

    BROCK
    I always try my best.

    More knocking is heard on the door.

    LIAM
    Why is he still knocking?

    BROCK
    I don't know. Maybe he thinks Brock's brother will give him a badge out of pity or something. Just wait for the knocking to stop.

    BROCK and LIAM wait, but the knocking does not stop.

    BROCK
    I guess I didn't make myself clear to him. Hold on, I'll finish this.

    BROCK goes to open the door, and when he does, HAL barges right into the gym.

    HAL
    Listen here, Brock! I've heard stories about you before! My cousin is a reporter for the Pewter City Gazette and she told me about how you're always trying to trick challengers into thinking the gym is closed! That **** isn't going to work on me! I demand a match now!

    LIAM
    Er...

    BROCK
    Hello my name is a Vlad, nice to meet, thank you!

    HAL
    Your name is Brock! Battle me! Now!

    LIAM
    Dammit, sir! Do something!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    He shouldn't have changed his story to being a foreigner named Vlad. Bad things always happen when you switch boats midstream.

    BROCK
    You know what, Hal? I am Brock! And I was testing you the whole time! You fail! I don't like the tone of voice you took with me! It was very rude.

    HAL
    That's a lie! You can't just pick and choose who to battle based on some silly test you just came up with right now!

    BROCK
    Grr... Liam! My office! Now!

    LIAM
    Yes, sir!

    BROCK and LIAM march into the office.

    HAL
    I'm not leaving until you battle me, just so you know!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE

    BROCK and LIAM enter the office. BROCK plops right down into his chair, leaving LIAM standing.

    BROCK
    Liam, when was the last time I had to actually battle someone?

    LIAM
    Um... I don't know, sir.

    BROCK
    Maybe we can tell him that we aren't ready for a battle yet, then put up a sign saying the building was sold, and next time he comes back, he'll just leave thinking the gym has moved.

    LIAM
    This guy seems sharp. I don't think he'll fall for that.

    BROCK
    I don't want to actually battle this guy! All that I've been working for would be for naught!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    More like all I HAVEN'T been working for, heh.

    LIAM
    Sir, this guy isn't going to take no for an answer.

    BROCK
    Fine, I'll battle him and get this over with. Hopefully it'll be quick.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA


    BROCK and LIAM walk back into the arena.

    HAL
    About time you guys got out of there. I don't want to wait around all day for this battle!

    BROCK
    Don't worry, I'm going to battle you now. Liam, can you be the referee?

    LIAM
    Yes, sir!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    The very few times that Brock has took on a challenger, I've always been the referee. I guess it kind of makes me like the fat kid at recess!

    BROCK and HAL head over to opposite sides of the arena.

    LIAM
    This will be a two on two battle! Um... are there any other rules, sir?

    BROCK
    Er... I can't remember.

    HAL
    Let's just get this over with already!

    HAL (T.H.)
    Trying to get a battle with this Brock guy is like pulling teeth!

    BROCK
    Okay, well, I'll choose my Pokémon first, and that way you'll be so intimidated when you see him, that you'll just want to surrender, and not have a battle at all! And then we'll all go home happy!

    HAL
    I doubt that.

    BROCK
    We'll see! Go, Geodude!

    BROCK throws a Pokéball and releases GEODUDE, the floating Rock type.

    GEODUDE
    Geodude dude!

    HAL
    Just like I expected! Go, Bulbasaur!

    HAL throws a Pokéball and releases BULBASAUR, a strange Grass and Poison type creature with a bulb growing on its back.

    BROCK
    A Bulbasaur, eh? Did you know that a group of Bulbasaur is called Bulbasaurs? I bet your so impressed with my Pokémon knowledge that you're just going to allow me the victory now!

    HAL
    That's not happening. Bulbasaur, just use vine whip on the damn thing.

    BULBASAUR
    Bulba!

    The bulb on the back of BULBASAUR opens up, releasing a vine. The vine flies straight at GEODUDE and starts smacking it around. GEODUDE cries out in pain...

    GEODUDE
    Geodude!

    ... and collapses to the ground, fainted.

    BROCK
    You just got lucky. I gave my Geodude some weird new Pokémon food last night that caused it to have really bad gas. He wasn't in the best fighting condition.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    The strange thing about that was that Brock wasn't making that up! I tried some and I was in the can for an hour afterward!

    LIAM
    Well, regardless, Geodude is unable to battle! Bulbasaur is the victor! Sorry, sir.

    BROCK
    That's okay! Not all of my Pokémon have fainted yet!

    BROCK returns GEODUDE to its Pokéball.

    BROCK
    You know, Hal, my next Pokémon is even tougher. It's not too late to surrender. There's nothing wrong with giving up. I do it all the time.

    HAL
    I'm pretty sure I want to go through with this.

    BROCK
    Whatever you say. Go, Onix!

    BROCK throws a Pokéball that releases ONIX, a Rock type Pokémon that looks much like a towering snake made out of stones.

    ONIX
    Onix! On Onix!

    BROCK
    Did you know that Onixes like to smell other Onixes' butts? If Onix didn't scare you, I'm sure my impressive knowledge of Pokémon did!

    HAL
    That was even worse than your last fact!

    BROCK
    Listen buddy, if I had another Onix here I could prove it to you!

    HAL
    I really don't care if you're making up those facts or not; I just want a badge. Bulbasaur, use vine whip again!

    Once again BULBASAUR released its vine, and it whipped the mighty Onix around.

    ONIX
    Onix!

    BROCK
    Hang in there, Onix! Chase after Bulbasaur and use wrap!

    ONIX
    On, Onix!

    After roaring, Onix gets up and attempts to chase Bulbasaur. As soon as it gets close, however, Bulbasaur scurries out of the way. Onix, however, had already made a lunge at it, and ends up collapsing on the gym floor.

    HAL
    Heh, the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

    BROCK
    The same goes for fat chicks in the bedroom!

    HAL
    Whatever. Bulbasaur, finish this up.

    BULBASAUR
    Bulba, bulb!

    Once again, BULBASAUR whips ONIX around with its vine.

    ONIX
    Onix!

    ONIX closes its eyes, defeated.

    BROCK
    You know, the referee hasn't made a call yet. It still isn't too late to surrender!

    HAL
    I think I'll take my chances waiting.

    LIAM
    Onix is unable to battle! The victor is Bulbasaur, and the victory goes to Hal.

    BROCK
    Are you sure about that, Liam? Did he break any obscure rules that we haven't heard about until right now?

    LIAM
    I don't think so, sir.

    BROCK
    Dammit, Liam, didn't you get the hint? You were supposed to make some rule up!

    LIAM
    Oh, I'm really sorry, sir! That won't happen again!

    BROCK returns ONIX to its Pokéball as HAL returns BULBASAUR to its Pokéball.

    HAL
    Well, it looks like I won. Can someone give me my badge now?

    BROCK
    Uh... Liam? Can you get a Boulder Badge from my office, please?

    LIAM
    Yes, sir!

    LIAM runs off.

    HAL
    Don't I get a cash prize and a technical machine, too?

    BROCK
    Listen kid, I haven't done one of these gym battles in a while. Give me a break.

    LIAM comes back with a Boulder Badge and gives it to BROCK.

    BROCK
    Hal of wherever the hell you're from, I bestow you with this Boulder Badge. Now get the hell out of here.

    BROCK hands HAL the badge and pushes him away.

    HAL
    About time...

    HAL stomps out of the gym.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    You can't win them all, but I my case it seems like I can't win some either. I can't win at all!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE

    The next morning, BROCK is at his desk, sleeping, when LIAM walks in.

    LIAM
    Sir, I have some bad news!

    BROCK jumps up awake.

    BROCK
    Whah! Huh... oh Liam, is it tomorrow already?

    LIAM
    Sir, I have some bad news!

    BROCK
    What is it?

    LIAM
    There's a line of people waiting outside the gym, and I think they all want to challenge you for a badge.

    BROCK
    Preposterous. The people of Pewter City know better. It's common knowledge that I avoid gym battles no matter what.

    LIAM
    Unfortunately, sir, the news has painted a different picture.

    LIAM picks up the TV remote and turns it on. An image of a news anchor, DIRK, appears on the screen.

    DIRK (T.V.)
    Hello, I'm Dirk, and this is GNN, the Generic News Network. Our top story today...

    The TV screen cuts to footage filmed outside the Pewter City Gym.

    BROCK
    Hey! Look! That's the gym! Our building got on TV!

    LIAM
    Shhh! Listen, sir!

    DIRK (Voice over)
    This footage was filmed by the paparazzi outside the Pewter City Gym, as there was an anonymous tip that any celebrity other than Brock was going to be there. However, something much more shocking was shot...

    The footage cuts to HAL exiting the gym. The footage zooms up on HAL, where it is seen that he is clearly holding a Boulder Badge.

    DIRK (V.O.)
    Look at that folks! A Boulder Badge! They've been thought of as rarer than Mew in recent times! This could only mean that Brock has finally stopped ********ting around and started accepting challengers again! So hurry up and rush on down to the Pewter City Gym before he changes his mind!

    BROCK grabs the remote from LIAM and shuts the TV off.

    BROCK
    My mind was already changed after that battle yesterday! I'm not going to battle anyone! How bad is this line outside, Liam?

    LIAM
    It's pretty scary, sir. I'd say it's about twenty people long.

    BROCK
    Twenty people long... ugh!

    BROCK bangs his head on his desk as LIAM takes back the remote and starts doing squats with it.

    BROCK
    What do I do? What do I do?!

    LIAM answers BROCK as he continues to do squats.

    LIAM
    That Hal guy didn't fall for any of our tricks, but maybe those people outside will!

    BROCK
    That's true. Most people are idiots. We're living proof of that!

    LIAM finishes his squats and places the remote down.

    LIAM
    So do you have anything in mind to trick them, sir?

    BROCK
    Well... I may have something up my sleeve.

    EXT. PEWTER CITY GYM

    LIAM exits the gym and finds a large line waiting for him. Among the people waiting in line are ARTIE, an obese kid, DALLAS, a twenty-something wearing a cowboy hat and a bolo tie, and MERV, in his trademark sunglasses and Hawaiian shirt.

    MERV
    Hey, how long are we going to be waiting in line? If it gets to three o' clock I'm going to have to leave to do you-know-what and I don't think anyone would be willing to save my spot!

    ARTIE
    Artie hungry. Artie should have brought more snacks for line.

    LIAM
    Everyone calm down! Brock will be letting people in shortly!

    DALLAS
    Hey kid, come over here for a sec'.

    LIAM walks over to DALLAS in the front of the line.

    DALLAS
    Howdy kid. The name's Dallas.

    LIAM
    I'm Liam.

    DALLAS
    Well lissen' here, Liam. I'm from the far off Orre region, and as soon as I heard that Brock was offerin' gym badges again, I hustled over here faster than an Arbok on a skateboard.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    I don't think Arboks can ride skateboards... and I don't think Dallas is a real name. This guy is weird.

    LIAM
    Get to your point.

    DALLAS
    Well lissen' kid, I've heard that Brock's shenanigans are legendary round these parts, and if he tries to pull a fast one on me, I ain't fallin' for it.

    LIAM
    I'm sure you won't, Mr. Dallas, as you seem like a very intelligent man who has a real name.

    DALLAS
    Thank you kindly.

    DALLAS (T.H.)
    I'm pretty excited to be Pokémon battlin' 'round these parts! I've never been somewhere with indoor plumbing before.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    LIAM walks back into the gym. BROCK is waiting for him.

    LIAM
    Well, sir, there's quite the eccentric cast of characters waiting out there for a battle.

    BROCK
    None of them are getting one.

    LIAM
    There was this one guy who seemed pretty persistent. His name was Dallas.

    BROCK
    Never trust someone named after a city, Liam.

    LIAM
    Yes, sir! Anyway, is everything all set up out here? Should I let them in?

    BROCK
    Give me a couple more minutes.

    LIAM
    Yes, sir.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    The key to deception on a large scale is to take advantage of mob mentality. If you can get one idiot to fall for it, you can get all of the idiots to fall for it.

    EXT. PEWTER CITY GYM

    LIAM exits the gym once again to find the crowd even more restless than before.

    ARTIE
    Artie want something to eat! Artie's tummy is rumbling!

    DALLAS
    C'mon kid, let us in this here gym already!

    MERV
    Does anyone know what time it is?!

    LIAM
    Everyone calm down! Now does anyone have some food we can give to the fat guy?

    MERV
    I always have a hamburger on me... not to eat, of course! The trophy wife wants me to watch my figure!

    LIAM walks over to MERV.

    LIAM
    Give it to me.

    MERV
    Well I don't know... I was saving it...

    LIAM grabs the hamburger from MERV and brings it over to ARTIE, shoving it in his face.

    LIAM
    Here you go, now shut up!

    ARTIE downs the hamburger in one gulp.

    ARTIE
    Mmm, that hamburger was succulent. Oh no, I must apologize for my previous, Neanderthal-type behavior. My name is Artie, and I usually do not refer to myself in the third person. You see, I am what some may call a trencherman, a gourmand, if you will, and when I start developing a voracious appetite...

    LIAM
    Enough out of you! Brock should be ready for everyone to come into the gym now. Now if everyone can please enter in an...

    LIAM sighs as the line of trainers waiting for a battle rushes into the gym. LIAM follows them in afterward.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    The trainers start milling around the gym. BROCK walks around, and notices MERV among the trainers waiting for a battle.

    BROCK
    Merv?! What are you doing here?

    MERV
    Oh hey Brock! First off, I just want to thank you again for that fitness program. Best two hundred I've ever spent in my life... well except for the cash I spent on the trophy wife.

    BROCK
    But you're battling now?

    MERV
    Yeah, I thought that becoming a top Pokémon trainer would really impress the trophy wife, and I can't see any problems with going on a long journey at my age! Hey, do you happen to know what time it is, because I'd like to battle before...

    BROCK
    Not now.

    BROCK pushes MERV away.

    MERV (T.H.)
    Hey cameraman, do you happen to have the time? I think people are underestimating how important this is for me to know...

    DALLAS pushes himself through the crowd to get to BROCK.

    DALLAS
    Are you who they call Brock 'round these parts?

    BROCK
    They call me Brock around all parts.

    DALLAS
    Howdy then! The name's Dallas, and I'm more pleased than a Spheal on a snow day to meet you!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    What the hell is this guy talking about? Why would a Spheal care about a snow day? Spheals don't go to school!

    BROCK
    So what do you want with me?

    DALLAS
    I just want ya' to know that I've heard about your tricks and I ain't gonna fall for any of them!

    BROCK
    That's lovely. Can you just wait here, please?

    BROCK moves to the front of the gym and calls out for everyone.

    BROCK
    Excuse me! Everyone! I'd just like you all to know that battles will begin shor-

    Suddenly, BROCK drops to the floor. A bottle of some sort falls out from under his sleeve.

    ARTIE
    Good heavens! What events are conspiring here?!

    MERV
    He's dead! Brock must be dead!

    LIAM runs over and picks up the bottle.

    LIAM
    Look at these! Pills! Brock must have driven himself to suicide because of all the stress placed on him from everyone who wanted a battle with him! Gym's closed, everyone!

    ARTIE
    The death of a gym leader... I feel so lachrymose!

    MERV
    Well this is just great! The trophy wife better not want a divorce now!

    All the trainers except for DALLAS grumpily leave the gym.

    LIAM
    Dallas, didn't you hear? The gym is closed now!

    DALLAS
    What ya' take me for, some kinda dummy? I told ya' I wasn't gonna fall for no tricks or pranks! I want my gym battle!

    LIAM
    Dammit. Sir, get up. What do we do about this guy?

    BROCK opens his eyes and and gets up from the floor.

    BROCK
    Can't you see I just don't want to battle you, Dallas? Can't you just leave us alone?!

    DALLAS
    I came here for a battle and I reckon I should get a battle.

    BROCK
    Fine! I'll battle you, you pain in the ***! But do you mind if we just have a one on one battle?

    DALLAS
    Why yes I do! It got to be a two on two battle!

    BROCK
    Why? It doesn't even look like you have any Pokéballs on you!

    DALLAS
    Pokéballs?! Don't tell me ya' thought I was gonna fight with Pokémon! I don't need 'em. I got my fists! I named my left one Houston and my right one San Antonio.

    BROCK
    I'm not going to let you fight my Pokémon by yourself. Get out of here.

    DALLAS
    Fine, but you'll rue the day when you denied Dallas a match!

    DALLAS storms out of the gym.

    LIAM
    Good job, sir! All those people out there and you didn't have to battle any of them!

    BROCK
    A lesser gym leader would have accepted all of their challenges... but not me!

    LIAM
    That's why you're the best, sir!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    It's days like these when I'm proud to be a gym leader. As the Pewter City Gym Leader, it's my job to defend the Boulder Badge, and today I did a pretty fine job of that!

    LIAM
    Sir, do you think they'll report you dead in the news tomorrow?

    BROCK
    We can only hope, Liam. We can only hope.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE

    The next day, BROCK is once again sleeping at his desk when LIAM rushes in.

    LIAM
    Sir, turn on the TV! Turn on the TV!

    BROCK jumps up from his desk!

    BROCK
    Whoa nellie! Liam?! Is it morning already?

    LIAM
    Here, sir, watch this!

    LIAM grabs the remote and turns the TV on. As LIAM starts to do squats with the remote, BROCK watches as DIRK appears on the screen, this time with a picture of BROCK in the top right corner.

    DIRK (T.V.)
    Good morning everyone, I'm Dirk, and this is GNN, the Generic News Network.

    BROCK
    That's my picture!

    LIAM
    Shhh!

    DIRK (T.V.)
    In our top story today, local gym leader Brock apparently committed suicide the other day, as seen by approximately twenty witnesses who confirmed the story for GNN. Brock was both a notorious womanizer and somewhat of a buffoon.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    You know, Dirk went much easier on me than I thought he would.

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    NEW ZEALAND!
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    Hey, I've seen this around for a while but the title never really drew me in. I think I saw it in the fanfiction awards so I've come over here to give you my opinion.

    First of all, it is notoriously funny, there are so many parts I'd love to quote here but I'd better not, for the sake of the Onix jokes. Liam is a cool addition, plus the lightyears jokes made him instantly awesome.

    I love how you do anything to not script battles, and when you do they are skipped straight past. Keep writing, you're doing great!
    Lol.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    The courtroom
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    The title is pretty unspectacular, but it's not like there's a better one out there I could use anyway. Unfortunately this has a lot going against it: it has a mundane title, it focuses on a character who is pretty boring in the games and TV show, and it's written in a script format (and since I'm using actual script format as opposed to "character name colon" I'm sure it's even scaring more people off), so people have to read at least one episode to get into the vibe of this and say, "Hey, this is actually quite funny!"

    As for battles, I'm lucky that I've written Brock as an incompetent gym leader who goes through ridiculous lengths to avoid battles and when he does battle is so terrible at it that it ends in about a minute anyway. :P

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

  14. #14
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    Episode 5: Ribbon Cutting

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE


    BROCK has just seen his obituary on the TV. LIAM finishes his squats with the remote and puts it down.

    LIAM
    See, sir? Everyone thinks you're dead now! No one will be coming around here for a battle anymore!

    BROCK
    That's good... oh ****.

    LIAM
    What?

    BROCK
    We have that ribbon cutting at the Pewter City Museum to go to.

    BROCK (TALKING HEAD)
    The Pewter City Museum is holding a big gala event for some exhibit that's opening up there, and they asked me to cut the ribbon for it. I'm guessing the exhibit centers around that cool rock I found while spelunking.

    LIAM
    We can just skip it, sir. Do you really want to risk having more challengers show up at the gym.

    BROCK
    But there's a free meal at the gala...

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Brock never passes up a free meal. There's no point in trying to change his mind now.

    LIAM
    I guess we're going then.

    BROCK
    Hell yeah!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    The next day, LIAM is standing around the gym, wearing dress clothes, when BROCK walks out of his office, wearing a tuxedo.

    LIAM
    Looking sharp, sir!

    BROCK
    I don't need you to tell me that. That's what mirrors are for!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    As a gym leader, I'm often invited to a lot of gala events or fancy parties. Then the hosts ask me about any fun battling stories I may have. For some reason, I never get any more invites after that.

    BROCK
    Now then, did you do that research I asked you to?

    LIAM
    Yes, sir! The main course for the evening will be filet mignon!

    BROCK
    Excellent. And the women?

    LIAM
    The museum curator apparently has quite a beautiful daughter, sir.

    BROCK
    We'll have to see for ourselves first. Very well, let's get going.

    INT. PEWTER CITY MUSEUM LOBBY


    BROCK and LIAM enter the museum. Various people in fancy dress and milling around, talking to each other.

    BROCK
    Ah, museum galas! The very crux of high society!

    LIAM
    Are there any kids here?

    BROCK
    Quiet, you!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Whenever Brock and I go to these fancy parties, there are never any kids. It gets boring for me. One time, I thought I saw a kid, but it was really a midget, and I got stuck there listening to him talk about stocks for an hour.

    The museum curator, an older bespectacled gentleman named MAGNUS, spots BROCK and seems shocked for a moment, but then walks over to greet him.

    MAGNUS
    Bless my stars! Hello, Brock! I'm simply amazed to see you! We all thought you weren't coming because you were dead!

    BROCK
    Hi, Magnus. It turns out I'm alive! I guess you just can't trust the news media.

    MAGNUS
    Actually, there are some members of the news media covering the ribbon cutting here tonight. I guess if they aren't trustworthy, I should tell museum security to keep a close eye on them.

    BROCK
    You should. The news media is the worst!

    MAGNUS
    Anyway, I'd just like to thank you again for your generous donation. It turns out that rock was a very rare Luminescent Opaque Sedimentary Coquina!

    BROCK
    That's... wait, what?

    MAGNUS
    Oh, don't be so humble! Something like that would have sold for millions on the rock market, but it was so nice of you to donate it to us instead!

    BROCK
    Yes, it was very nice.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    That's the last time I ever let Roark goad me into doing something charitable!

    MAGNUS
    Who's this kid with you, by the way?

    LIAM
    I'm Liam! I'm Brock's gym assistant!

    MAGNUS
    You know, Liam, I have a daughter right around your age! Let me find her. She'd absolutely love to have someone to talk to, as there are usually never any kids at these types of events!

    MAGNUS walks off to find his daughter.

    BROCK
    The curator's daughter is YOUR age, Liam?!

    LIAM
    I didn't know! I just heard she was attractive!

    BROCK
    From who, your friends during recess?!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    That's exactly who I heard it from.

    LIAM
    Definitely not, sir.

    BROCK
    Oh well, I guess I'll have to try and find someone else here, then.

    MAGNUS returns with his curly, blond-haired daughter, MADELINE.

    MAGNUS
    Liam, this is my daughter, Madeline.

    MADELINE
    Nice to meet you, Liam!

    LIAM
    Uh... hi! Hi Madeline!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    I don't have a scale like Brock... but Madeline is certainly a ten out of ten!

    MAGNUS
    Why don't you two go run along and have some fun now?

    MADELINE
    Sure, daddy!
    MADELINE grabs LIAM by the hand, and they run off.

    BROCK
    So, when will the ribbon cutting be happening?

    MAGNUS
    That will be momentarily after dinner.

    BROCK
    Okay. I want to be prepared. I'm pretty excited to cut the ribbon so everyone can see my big lumiopac rock thing.

    MAGNUS
    I beg your pardon?

    BROCK
    I'm cutting the ribbon for the exhibit about that rare rock I donated, right?

    MAGNUS
    Oh, dear me. I suppose we had a failure to communicate here. You aren't cutting the ribbon for an exhibit on that rock. You're cutting the ribbon for our new, one of a kind exhibit! It's a fossil Pokémon petting zoo! I figured you're a big fan of fossil Pokémon, so you'd love to cut the ribbon!

    BROCK
    Oh...

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I thought I was being honored here tonight, but I guess not! What does a man have to do to get some recognition?!

    BROCK walks around the lobby, when he bumps into ARTIE.

    ARTIE
    Egad! A specter!

    BROCK
    What?

    ARTIE
    I saw you pass on with my own eyes! You were only recently declared deceased. And yet here you are, standing before us.

    BROCK
    Oh yeah, I just faked my death, that's all. Anyway, why are you here? Aren't you just a Pokémon trainer?

    ARTIE
    I'm not only a trainer, but quite a gourmand as well! I attend spectacular galas such as this one quite often in order to enjoy some exquisite dishes.

    BROCK
    I think Liam mentioned you sometime, actually... don't you start talking like a brute when you haven't ate anything for a while? How come you're so well spoken now?

    ARTIE
    Ah, you see, I was sure to consume two meals prior to this engagement.
    MAGNUS walks up to a podium with a microphone and makes an announcement.

    MAGNUS
    Everyone, it is time to head over to the dining room. Please, find your seats and enjoy the meal.

    ARTIE
    Oh, sorry, but you must excuse me now. Have a pleasant evening.

    ARTIE runs off remarkably fast for someone of his size into the dining room.

    BROCK
    Wow...

    INT. PEWTER CITY MUSEUM DINING ROOM

    BROCK walks into the dining room and finds his seat. LIAM enters and finds his seat next to him.

    LIAM
    How's your evening going, sir?

    BROCK
    Ugh... it's terrible! It turns out the ribbon cutting isn't for my rock at all! And instead of talking to a hot girl, I talked to some fat guy instead!

    LIAM
    Well my night is going quite well. Madeline is charming.

    BROCK
    Quite honestly, I just want to leave after I get my free meal. Screw the ribbon cutting.

    GLADYS (OFF CAMERA)
    Leaving before doing what you came here to do? I smell a scoop!

    GLADYS takes her seat next to BROCK.

    GLADYS
    Hmph... I can't believe the curator sat me next to you for dinner. But it sounds like a found a goldmine of a story already! You're going to dine and ditch?

    BROCK
    Oh... oh no! Of course not! I will absolutely be cutting the ribbon tonight!

    GLADYS
    Hmph... if only I recorded what I heard you say earlier. And why are you still being taped?! And, since I'm just full of questions tonight, why aren't you dead?

    BROCK
    Oh, I guess you saw that on TV the other day. Well, it turns out all twenty of the witnesses that allegedly saw me die were mistaken.

    GLADYS
    All twenty were wrong?! What are the chances of that?! This wasn't all because of shenanigans on your part, was it?

    BROCK
    Um... no!

    GLADYS
    Hm... if you say so.

    BROCK
    So how's that article about me coming along?

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I know that she's never going to write that article because Liam erased the tape, but still, by asking about it, I can cast suspicion somewhere else!

    GLADYS
    Unfortunately, the article isn't happening. I had thought I recorded the interview, but when I checked the tape, it was blank. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?

    BROCK
    No, of course not! I was looking forward to reading an article about me!

    GLADYS
    Well anyway, I wanted to publish the article even though I didn't have a recording, because your interview was so... memorable. BUT! This is what really pisses me off! Apparently some pipsqueak TV reporter named Regis visited my editor and accused me of unsavory journalism! And NOW if I want to write ANY article I have to prove to my editor that I have the sources to back it up! What kind of name is Regis in the first place?! If I ever find that petulant little ****, he's going to get a piece of my mind!

    LIAM
    Er...

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Good thing my name is Liam!

    BROCK
    Sounds like a tough job. Oh well.

    A WAITER comes to the table and serves everyone salad. LIAM picks the salad up and begins doing squats with it.

    BROCK
    What the hell are you doing, Liam?

    LIAM
    For every meal, I do an amount of squats proportional to the number of calories in that meal. Luckily, this is only a salad, so I don't have to do a lot of squats. But don't worry about remembering any of this, it's all going to be in my exercise video!

    LIAM puts the salad back on the table and starts eating it.

    GLADYS
    Still talking about exercise? My friend Joyce told me you two were obsessed with exercise not too long ago, but I thought it would just be a phase, like disco or caring about the environment.

    BROCK
    Oh, I don't care about exercising anymore. It's just the kid now.

    LIAM
    Exercise is very important! Do you think Madeline would like me if I was out of shape?

    GLADYS
    This Madeline girl must be pretty shallow...

    The WAITER returns to clean up all the salad bowls and then serves the main course. LIAM begins doing squats with the filet mignon as BROCK and GLADYS watch.

    GLADYS
    Oh... he was serious about all that squatting nonsense?

    BROCK
    Yup!

    LIAM
    I got to stay fit!

    BROCK
    Well, whatever, I'm digging in. It's the main reason I came here in the first place!

    GLADYS
    Of course...
    LIAM finishes the squats and joins in the meal with both BROCK and GLADYS.

    LIAM
    Mmm... this is pretty good, sir! How would you rank this?

    BROCK
    Well, it's better than the seafood spread we had for the opening of that new library at Pewter City High School, but I don't think it can compare to the veal we had at the premiere of that movie that was filmed here.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I keep track of every fancy meal fed to me so I know who serves good stuff and who serves crap.

    GLADYS
    I was at both of those. I don't know what you're talking about, but that seafood spread was delicious!

    BROCK
    I'm a Rock type trainer! I detest anything involving the water!

    GLADYS (T.H.)
    Hmph... even if he liked that seafood spread, he would never admit it due to some misguided Rock type gym leader principles... what a fool!

    MAGNUS approaches the table.

    MAGNUS
    Ah, Brock, I see you've met Gladys. She's a fine reporter. She's written a lot of stories about the museum. Maybe you should ask her to write a story about the gym sometime!

    GLADYS
    Ha!

    MAGNUS (T.H.)
    Why did she laugh? What did I say that was funny? I better write it down so I can use that joke in the future!

    MAGNUS
    Anyway, Brock and Gladys, would you mind coming with me for a bit? There's someone I'd like you to meet.

    BROCK
    Fine, but since I haven't finished my food yet, I'm bringing it with me.
    BROCK stands up from the table, picking up his plate.

    GLADYS
    I'll go too... but I'm not bringing my food.

    LIAM
    I guess I'll just go and find Madeline then.

    LIAM walks away as MAGNUS guides BROCK and GLADYS into the lounge.

    INT. PEWTER CITY MUSEUM LOUNGE


    MAGNUS leads BROCK and GLADYS into a room with a few comfortable looking couches and chairs and a wine cooler. A man dressed in a lab coat, WINSTON, is sitting on a chair. BROCK fumbles around with his food for a bit until he just places it on a couch.

    MAGNUS
    Brock, Gladys, I'd like you both to meet Winston.

    WINSTON
    How do you do?

    BROCK and GLADYS both go to shake hands with WINSTON.

    BROCK
    Nice to meet you.

    GLADYS
    Same.

    MAGNUS
    Winston here has done some impressive work. Why don't you tell them?

    As WINSTON talks, MAGNUS shuffles around through the wine cooler.

    WINSTON
    Ah, yes. I was instrumental to the success of the fossil Pokémon petting zoo project...

    BROCK
    Ah, so you're the guy who stole my thunder!

    WINSTON
    What are you talking about?

    BROCK
    If it wasn't for your stupid fossil exhibit, this gala would be for my rock!

    GLADYS (T.H.)
    Quite honestly, Brock is basically a living train wreck. It's embarrassing watching him act like this.

    WINSTON
    Well, I was only the team leader. There were lots of other people who helped on the fossil project too.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Winston is a gigantic nerd. I can't believe I have to cut the ribbon for his geeky exhibit instead of my awesome rock!

    MAGNUS returns with a bottle of wine and some wineglasses.

    MAGNUS
    Well, I hope you're all getting along swimmingly! Now I'd like you all to try this superb wine I imported from Hoenn! It's Chateau de Sootopolis circa 1952!

    MAGNUS pours a glass for GLADYS and WINSTON, but before he pours another one, BROCK interrupts him.

    BROCK
    Actually, do you have any beer? I could really go for a beer right now?

    MAGNUS
    This is some of the greatest wine money can buy!

    BROCK
    Yeah, but I don't really like drinking at parties unless it's beer. And it better be name brand too, I don't like drinking the local crap. You can never know how they make it.

    GLADYS
    Yes you can, if you visit the brewery.

    MAGNUS
    Well that's quite alright then, Brock. I'll just get you some beer from... somewhere.

    MAGNUS is about to leave, but GLADYS stops him.

    GLADYS
    Do you think you could leave the wine bottle here? I think I'm going to be drinking a lot of this tonight.

    MAGNUS notices that her wineglass is already empty.

    MAGNUS
    Wow! That was fast. Sure, I'll leave it here.

    MAGNUS hands the bottle to GLADYS, who immediately pours herself another glass. MAGNUS then leaves to find beer for BROCK.

    GLADYS (T.H.)
    I'm hoping if I drink enough wine I can just forget everything about Brock tonight.

    WINSTON
    Anyway, I haven't even begun talking about all the work we had to do in order to get the fossil Pokémon petting zoo open! First, we had a conundrum with the energy source for our regeneration machine, and we tried both differential equations and quadratic equations to solve the problem, but it turned out we simply needed to apply a conductivity principle to the machine, and after testing various false hypotheses we finally got the machine up and running.

    BROCK
    You don't say?

    GLADYS takes a big sip from her wineglass.

    GLADYS
    Winston, it was nice of you to explain all of that, but if I write any of that down, the readers of the Pewter City Gazette will have no idea what the hell any of that is. So, as a reporter, let me ask you: what's your favorite food?

    WINSTON
    I like spaghetti! But... wait! I like fried chicken too! Er... this is tough. Spaghetti or chicken?

    GLADYS
    I guess I'm not getting an interview out of this guy.

    GLADYS finishes all of the wine in her glass, puts the glass down, and starts drinking right from the bottle. MAGNUS returns with a beer for BROCK.

    MAGNUS
    Here you are, Brock: an ice cold beer!

    BROCK
    Oh, that may be a problem. I like my beer chilled, not cold.

    GLADYS
    Just take it!

    BROCK takes the beer from MAGNUS.

    BROCK
    Thank you anyway, I guess.

    MAGNUS
    Shall we get this ribbon cutting started now? The evening has been building up towards this!

    BROCK
    Yeah, let's get it over with.

    BROCK, GLADYS, MAGNUS, and WINSTON all leave the lounge, GLADYS still carrying the wine bottle.

    INT. PEWTER CITY MUSEUM EXHIBIT AREA


    BROCK, MAGNUS, and WINSTON are standing in front of a fenced in area with a ribbon wrapped around it. Inside the fence are various fossil Pokémon, including KABUTO, a brown, dome shaped one. BROCK looks around and spots the stone he donated. A crowd has gathered around to watch the ribbon cutting, including GLADYS with the wine bottle, and MADELINE and LIAM together.

    MAGNUS
    Now it's time for the main event. We'll cut the ribbon and officially open our one of a kind fossil Pokémon petting zoo, created by our one and only Winston!

    WINSTON
    Hello, it's nice to be here, but I'd like to talk to you about some of the science behind the-

    WINSTON is overwhelmed by all the clapping at his name and is unable to finish his sentence.

    MAGNUS
    Now then, Brock, our local gym leader, will do us the honor of cutting the ribbon on this wonderful exhibit!

    MAGNUS hands BROCK a gigantic pair of scissors.

    BROCK
    Thank you. But before I begin, I'd just like to say that the petting zoo isn't the only new exhibit here. Recently I donated a very rare rock that I found while spelunking Mt. Moon, and you can actually see it on display right over there!

    BROCK points to the rock, though most people are bewildered, and no one applauds him except for an obviously drunk GLADYS.

    GLADYS
    Yay!

    GLADYS drops the now empty wine bottle, drawing attention to herself and gathering a few stares.

    MAGNUS
    Okay. This has all been very interesting, but can you please cut the ribbon now?

    BROCK
    Fine.

    BROCK cuts the ribbon and the crowd begins to applaud.

    MAGNUS
    Now then, as a special treat for her, I'd like my daughter, Madeline, to come up and be the first person to experience the Pokémon petting zoo!

    The crowd turns around to face MADELINE and LIAM.

    MADELINE
    Oh? Me? I think Liam wants to do it instead!

    LIAM
    Sure! I'll do it!

    MADELINE (T.H.)
    Liam? I had no interest in him. I'm just deathly afraid of fossil Pokémon, and I didn't want my dad embarrassing me in public like that, so I just turned on the charm for Liam so that he'd be willing to go up there instead.

    LIAM walks up to the petting zoo and hops the fence. He approaches the KABUTO.

    LIAM
    Look at that! It's a nice, little Kabuto! Who's a good Kabuto? You are!

    LIAM goes to pet the KABUTO, but instead the KABUTO headbutts him.

    KABUTO
    Ka! Ka!

    LIAM goes flying into the fence, and then falls down to the ground.

    LIAM
    Ow! Why am I always the victim of Pokémon inflicted pain?

    MAGNUS
    That Kabuto is one angry bugger! Look, it seems like it's going in for another attack!

    Sure enough, KABUTO is moving towards LIAM.

    KABUTO
    Ka! Ka!

    KABUTO headbutts LIAM again, and this time LIAM crashes through the fence.

    LIAM
    Ow! I think I hurt my back or something!

    MAGNUS
    Oh well. Somebody call an ambulance, I guess. But anyway, that's all we have for tonight! Please feel free to enjoy all of our exhibits now!

    The crowd begins to mill around the museum, and no one actually does call and ambulance for LIAM. GLADYS approaches BROCK, who is staring at his rock, forlorn.

    GLADYS
    That was such a great speech you gave!

    BROCK
    You really think so?

    GLADYS
    Oh yeah, it was great, like... uh... there was that one part!

    GLADYS breaks out into a fit of giggles.

    GLADYS (T.H.)
    Am I drunk? Uh... no! If I was drunk, would I try flashing the camera?

    GLADYS tries flashing the camera, but it turns away.

    GLADYS
    Anyway... Brock...

    GLADYS places her arm around BROCK.

    GLADYS
    How about we... and we is me and you... but... uh... we go to my bedroom and... uh... go on my bed there? And we can do the... uh... sex.

    BROCK
    Yes! Absolutely! Let me just get my coat!

    BROCK turns around to walk to the coatroom, but sees LIAM, still on the ground.

    LIAM
    Ow! Is anyone actually going to help me?

    BROCK turns back to GLADYS.

    BROCK
    Actually, I'm sorry, but I have to take that kid to the hospital.

    GLADYS
    Oh... uh... that's fine... I'll just... uh...

    GLADYS slumps down onto the floor and begins to take a nap. BROCK walks over to LIAM.

    BROCK
    Come on, Liam. Let's go.

    BROCK picks LIAM up and they leave the museum.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Did my night go exactly as I planned? No. I thought I was the one being honored, but that nerd Winston was instead. At the end of the night, though, Gladys, in her drunken stupor, wanted to have sex with me, the cool rock guy, and not Winston, the lame fossil Pokémon petting zoo that nearly kills people guy, and in the end, I think that says it all.

    INT. PEWTER CITY HOSPITAL ROOM

    The next day, LIAM wakes up from a long sleep to find BROCK waiting at a chair.

    LIAM
    Brock! You're still here! How long was I out?

    BROCK
    I'd say around a good fourteen hours. That Kabuto really knocked a lot out of you. The doctors said nothing was really hurt except your pride, though.

    LIAM
    And you waited here this whole time with me?

    BROCK
    Of course! After all, what better excuse to not be at the gym than my assistant being stuck at the hospital!

    LIAM
    Did Madeline visit?

    BROCK
    Who?

    LIAM
    Oh... I guess not.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    So I suppose the chemistry I had with Madeline was just a one night only thing. It's a shame, too, because I really wanted to date a girl named Madeline. It's a name that really stands out, unlike something boring such as Jane or Sally.

    BROCK
    Well, now that you're up, I've got some work for you to do! The Rock type convention is coming up soon and I'm going to need everything packed for my departure. Get going.

    LIAM
    Yes, sir!

    LIAM hops out of bed and runs out. BROCK follows.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I don't need anything packed right away. I just wanted to get out of the before the doctors got back so that we didn't have to pay a hospital bill!
    Last edited by Neko Godot; 16th January 2011 at 9:21 PM.

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

  15. #15
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    Entertaining as always, are you posting this anywhere else? You should. I nominated you for the awards, I just figured you deserved it.

    And the Brock faking his death saga continues! He doesn't really like media does he... wonder why? Liam is still cool, he is one of my favourite characters, maybe even more so than brock. I just love the interview parts... especially:

    LIAM
    I didn't know! I just heard she was attractive!

    BROCK
    From who, your friends during recess?!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    That's exactly who I heard it from.

    LIAM
    Definitely not, sir.
    The direct contradiction got me.

    Great work!
    Lol.

  16. #16
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    This is still my favorite thread in the fanfiction section!

    I laughed when Gladys asked Brock "to do the sex"

    Also, I read chapters 3 and 4 just now too (i forgot what this story's title was, as bizarre as that may seem)

    Keep up the good work!

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by moonlightning View Post
    Entertaining as always, are you posting this anywhere else? You should. I nominated you for the awards, I just figured you deserved it.
    Thanks, I try. And I'm not posting this anywhere else as of now.

    Quote Originally Posted by Karpi View Post
    Also, I read chapters 3 and 4 just now too (i forgot what this story's title was, as bizarre as that may seem)
    The title is two words; it's not that hard to remember. ;O

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

  18. #18
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    Episode 6: The Convention

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    BROCK and LIAM are in the gym, arguing. BROCK has two suitcases next to him.

    LIAM
    Why can't I go with you, sir?

    BROCK
    I'm sorry, but the convention really cheaped out this year! I have to share a room with someone? Do you know how gross that is?

    BROCK (TALKING HEAD)
    The time has come for the annual Rock type Pokémon convention. Every year I attend, and every year it gets worse and worse. Two years ago they had an open bar, but last year they had an open bar that totally sucked. It was terrible. I still had like five drinks there though.

    LIAM
    Do you know what you're going to say, sir?

    BROCK
    I prepared some remarks.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Every year I go to the convention and I do a little program about being a Rock type gym leader. It's not the most attended program, but... that's it.

    LIAM
    I want to hear what you wrote, sir!

    BROCK
    Okay, let's see...

    BROCK takes out a sheet of paper from his pocket and starts reading from it.

    BROCK
    "Hello everyone. My name is Brock. I'm a Rock type trainer and the gym leader of Pewter City. Today I will talk to you about..." and that's all I got so far.

    LIAM
    That's a brilliant speech, sir!

    BROCK
    I know. I had a little trouble trying to figure out if I should say I'm a Rock type trainer first or if I'm a gym leader first, but I think I made the right choice. Anyway, Liam, because you aren't going to the convention, this will be the first time you'll be running the gym by yourself.

    LIAM
    Yes, sir!

    BROCK
    Remember, under no circumstances are you to battle with anyone, and definitely under no circumstances are you to hand out a Boulder Badge to anyone.

    LIAM
    I don't think we even have any Boulder Badges left, sir.

    BROCK
    Good, that's a great excuse to use if any trainers come by.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Am I nervous about being in charge of the gym for these two days? A little. Brock can run the gym, but that's because he's made avoiding gym battles into an art. He's like Picasso, and I'm like some other guy that's not a painter.

    BROCK
    Well, goodbye. I'll see you tomorrow once I'm back.

    LIAM
    Have a good trip, sir!

    BROCK gathers his suitcases and walks out of the gym.

    INT. CELADON HOTEL LOBBY

    BROCK walks into the hotel with his suitcases. The CLERK at the front desk greets him.

    CLERK
    Good afternoon, sir! Are you here for the convention?

    BROCK
    Yes, I'm Brock. The convention coordinator should have left a room key for me.

    CLERK
    Ah, of course. You're in room 5015. The other guest already checked in.

    The CLERK hands BROCK the room key.

    BROCK
    Great.

    INT. CELADON HOTEL ROOM


    BROCK walks into the room to find ROARK already on one of the beds, watching TV.

    BROCK
    ****.

    ROARK
    Brock? We're rooming together for the convention! This is great!

    ROARK jumps off the bed and gives BROCK a big pat on the back.

    BROCK
    Hi Roark.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I can't believe those bastards put me in the same room as this guy!

    ROARK
    This Celadon Hotel is great! Isn't it wonderful that the convention coordinator was able to get us free rooms?! This hotel has room service and a swimming pool! And you have to pay for the internet! It's just like home!

    BROCK
    Last year all the V.I.P.s had their own rooms.

    ROARK
    You can't live in the past, Brock. Just think about how great of a time we'll have this year!

    ROARK (T.H.)
    This is my first time attending a Rock type Pokémon convention as a V.I.P. Honestly, I'm just happy to be here, especially with my good friend Brock!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Really? He called me a "good friend"? What a tool!

    ROARK
    So anyway, where do you want to get lunch? There are like five different places nearby the hotel that sound pretty good! I want to save the steakhouse for dinner, but we can go to the pizzeria for lunch!

    BROCK
    Hm... we could do that, OR we can go to different places to eat, because we won't be able to hit all five places if we don't go separately.

    ROARK
    Don't worry about that! We can stay late tomorrow for dinner, and that way we can hit all five places! It'll be fun!

    BROCK
    Oh, I have to leave early. The kid is in charge and I don't want to stress him out.

    ROARK
    I wouldn't worry about him! I put Heather in charge of my gym, and I'm sure she'll do a splendid job! Anyway, I saw in the papers that you donated a rare stone to the Pewter City Museum! That's great news! I'm always saying people need to improve the quality of their local museums!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA


    LIAM is sitting in the gym when he hears a knock on the door.

    LIAM
    A challenger?! Oh dear...

    LIAM runs to the door and opens it. A TRAINER is standing outside.

    TRAINER
    Brock? I challenge you to a gym... wait a minute. Who the hell are you?

    LIAM
    I'm Liam.

    TRAINER
    Liam? What kind of sissy name is that?

    LIAM
    What do you mean?

    TRAINER
    I don't want to battle some lamer named Liam! I'm out of here!

    The TRAINER closes the door.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Is Liam really a sissy name? I may need to reinvent myself!

    INT. CELADON HOTEL LOBBY

    BROCK and ROARK get off the elevator and walk into the lobby.

    ROARK
    So anyway, I really like pepperoni on my pizza, but I'm partial to plain pizza too! I'm not a big fan of extra cheese, though.

    BROCK
    Oh really?

    The convention coordinator, ALICE, spots BROCK and ROARK and walks up to them.

    ALICE
    Brock! Roark! I'm glad to see you got here safe and sound!

    ALICE (T.H.)
    I'm Alice. I'm the convention coordinator, so I'm basically in charge of planning all of this. I'm so glad you're going to be filming some of this convention! The best publicity is free publicity!

    ROARK
    Hi Alice! It's a delight to be here! You look great today!

    ALICE
    Aw, thank you! So where are you two pals going?

    BROCK
    Lunch.

    ALICE
    Enjoy! There's this great pizza place nearby that you should check out!

    ROARK
    We were actually on our way there! Great minds think alike!

    ALICE
    Oh, there's some important convention info that I should tell you guys. Brock, I know you had a program scheduled for tomorrow, but unfortunately we had a record low number of people buy tickets for it, so we decided to bump up Roark's program so that you two will be running the program together. That'll be fun, right?

    ROARK
    Running a program with Brock?! That's great!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Shoot me now.

    INT. PIZZERIA

    BROCK and ROARK walk into the pizzeria. ROARK spots ROXANNE, another Rock type gym leader, already at a table, eating.

    ROARK
    Roxanne? Roxanne! You're here too? This is great! All of us Rock type gym leaders are together!

    ROXANNE
    Oh, hi Roark! And hi Brock!

    BROCK
    Hi Roxanne!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Roxanne and I have quite a story. Two years ago, at this very convention, Roxanne got drunk, and then we had sex. I don't get why girls only seem to be attracted to me when they're drunk.

    ROXANNE (T.H.)
    Brock and I? Nah, there's been nothing between us... wait... oh! Never mind! We had sex two years ago. I forgot about that! So yeah, I guess there was something between us. Wow, I can't believe I forgot that. I must have been pretty hammered.

    ROARK
    Let's all eat pizza together! Eating with friends is fun!

    ROXANNE
    Sure! We can all eat together!

    ROARK
    Brock, lunch is on me! I'll be right back!

    ROARK walks to the counter to make an order while BROCK talks to ROXANNE.

    BROCK
    So how have you been? You missed the convention last year.

    ROXANNE
    My teaching job conflicted with the convention. Damn kids. But anyway, how have you been, Brock?

    BROCK
    Pretty good. I got to cut the ribbon on some exhibit at the Pewter City Museum.

    ROXANNE
    How about that kid? What was his name? Lee?

    BROCK
    Liam. He's in charge of the gym while I'm gone. I hope he does a good job.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA


    LIAM is pacing around the gym when there is a knock on the door.

    LIAM
    Okay. No nonsense this time! I'm not going to be a sissy this time!

    LIAM walks over to the door and opens it to find MERV waiting.

    MERV
    Hey, I heard you didn't die, so now I need to beat you in a gym battle so that my trophy wife will let me move in again! Wait a minute, who are you?

    LIAM
    I'm Regis! The real question is: who the hell are you?

    MERV
    I'm... I'm Merv. Haven't I met you before?

    LIAM
    It depends. Have you ever met anyone named ****ing Regis before? I don't think so!

    MERV
    That's true! You're really intimidating me! I'm too scared to battle you! I guess it's another night at the motel for me.

    MERV walks away and LIAM shuts the gym door.

    LIAM
    Nobody ****s around with Regis!

    INT. PIZZERIA

    ROXANNE
    I'm sure he won't let you down.

    ROARK returns with two plates of pizza.

    ROARK
    I wanted to be adventurous, so I ordered anchovies on our pizza! This should be fun!

    ROARK (T.H.)
    I love being adventurous! Sometimes, I walk through urban housing districts without even wearing a bulletproof vest!

    BROCK
    Roark, why the hell would anyone ever want anchovies on their pizza?

    ROXANNE laughs.

    ROXANNE
    He's right you know, Roark. Anchovies? Seriously?

    ROARK
    What? I thought it would be a good idea!

    ROXANNE laughs again.

    ROXANNE
    Anchovies are never a good idea!

    BROCK
    Well, I'm going to take them off.

    BROCK takes his plate of pizza and takes all the anchovies off. ROARK takes a bite into his pizza, and he tries to cover his disgust with the taste.

    ROXANNE
    Roark, you don't have to pretend you like it.

    ROARK
    It was still a fun experiment though!

    ROARK (T.H.)
    I am of the opinion that you can't knock something until you try it! It's why I made out with someone in a bathroom once.

    BROCK takes all the anchovies and throws them in the garbage.

    BROCK
    No it wasn't.

    INT. CELADON HOTEL CONVENTION HALL

    BROCK, ROARK, and ROXANNE have returned to the hotel and are now checking out the convention.

    BROCK
    What should we check out next?

    BROCK (T.H.)
    The Rock type convention has a lot of programs, mainly about rocks. Really, they're all about rocks. Who knew it was even possible to plan two whole days about rocks?

    ROARK
    I want to go to that program about rock polishing!

    ROXANNE
    Roark, we all know how to polish rocks. That would be boring.

    BROCK
    It's great to have someone else here that can tell him that everything he does is wrong.

    ROXANNE laughs.

    ROXANNE
    Oh, he's just a goofy kid. Nothing to worry about.

    BROCK
    So, Roxanne, are you still single?

    ROXANNE
    Haha, Brock! Did you really just ask that?

    BROCK
    Uh... yes.

    ROXANNE laughs some more.

    ROXANNE
    Well, yes, I am single, but I'm not looking for anything right now.

    BROCK
    Oh...

    ROXANNE (T.H.)
    Is Brock a pervert? I don't think so. His heart is in the right place, but... certain... other parts may not be.

    ROARK
    Well I'm looking for a good program for us to go to! Can I have some help here, guys?

    ROXANNE
    Let's just skip a program for now. We're all friends, right?

    BROCK
    That's debatable.

    ROXANNE
    Regardless, we can all just hang out. It'll be more fun than attending a program on how to polish your rocks.

    ROARK
    Hey! Don't badmouth rock polishing! If it wasn't for it, how else would you be able to polish your rocks?!

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA


    LIAM has raided the office refrigerator and is drinking a diet soda when there is a knock on the door again.

    LIAM
    Who does this punk think he is? Or she.

    LIAM opens the door to find DALLAS waiting.

    DALLAS
    Now ya' listen' here, I swore you'd rue the day and I ain't gonna let ya' not rue the day!

    LIAM
    Um... excuse me?!

    DALLAS
    Now wait just a darn minute! Ya' ain't Brock! Who are ya'?

    LIAM
    I'm Regis. I'm a total bad ***. You see this diet soda I'm drinking?

    LIAM lifts the diet soda up.

    LIAM
    I hate diet soda! But I'm drinking it anyway because there's no other soda left in the fridge.

    DALLAS
    Well I don't care about ya' and that here diet soda! I wanna battle Brock! I reckon I'd be better off lookin' somewhere else!

    DALLAS leaves and LIAM closes the door.

    LIAM
    Another victory for Regis!

    LIAM takes a sip of diet soda.

    INT. CELADON HOTEL LOBBY

    BROCK, ROARK, and ROXANNE are chatting in the lobby when ALICE approaches them.

    ALICE
    Hey everyone! Aw, it's so sweet to see that all of you Rock type gym leaders are all friends.

    BROCK
    Eh, I'd consider myself more of an acquaintance with Roark, and it pains me to say that too.

    ALICE
    It doesn't matter. I just wanted to tell you guys that, like always, we'll have an open bar at the hotel tonight.

    ROXANNE
    That sounds great! I love free booze!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Two years ago, when Roxanne and I were at the open bar, we ended up having sex at the end of the night. Am I hoping for an encore of that night? Yes. Yes I am.

    ROARK
    I don't know about that. We have a program to run tomorrow, right Brock?

    BROCK
    Trust me, no one is going to care if we show up to the program hung over.

    ROARK (T.H.)
    I'm not really a heavy drinker. If I start drinking, my judgment becomes cloudy, and I may start making some stupid decisions.

    BROCK (OFF CAMERA)
    Like putting anchovies on pizza?

    ROARK (T.H.)
    Shh... this is my interview!

    ROXANNE
    Oh, come on, Roark. When else are you going to get the opportunity to do something like this?

    ROARK
    At the convention next year.

    ROXANNE
    Oh, stop being such a stick in the mud!

    ROARK
    I don't want to be a stick! Sticks are branches, which are parts of trees, and trees are associated with Grass types, which Rock types have a weakness to! Being a stick would be terrible!

    BROCK
    Great. I guess he's going with us now.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    LIAM (T.H.)
    I think my first day running the gym went great. Regis had an amazing start, and he definitely has nowhere to go but up. Tomorrow will be an even better day for Regis.

    LIAM locks up the office door.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Man, drinking that diet soda was terrible. Even for Regis. Never again.

    LIAM turns off the gym lights.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Ooh, it's spooky in here without the lights on. I wonder how Brock sleeps at night... Regis would be able to handle it though.

    LIAM walks out of the gym and locks up the door.

    INT. CELADON HOTEL ROOM


    BROCK and ROARK are chatting in the hotel room.

    ROARK
    So is this open bar thing going to be like a party?

    BROCK
    If it's like a party, I'll be sticking to beer.

    ROARK (T.H.)
    I love parties. Whenever I'm invited to one, I'll never pass on it. I even went to my grandma's bridge party once.

    ROARK
    I don't want to stay up too late. It's important to get a good eight hours of sleep every night!

    BROCK
    Really, don't worry about it.

    There is a knock on the hotel room door.

    BROCK
    Come in!

    ROXANNE walks into the room.

    ROXANNE
    Okay, I just had to freshen up.

    BROCK
    You put makeup on?

    ROARK
    Roxanne, it looks wonderful.

    ROXANNE
    Why thank you!

    ROXANNE (T.H.)
    Roark can be entirely too complimentary sometimes. It's hard to tell if he's being sincere or not. It is kind of cute, though.

    BROCK
    Well, should we get going already?

    ROXANNE
    Let's!

    INT. CELADON HOTEL BAR

    BROCK, ROARK, and ROXANNE walk into the bar, and they are all greeted by ALICE.

    ALICE
    Awesome! You all came here!

    ROARK
    So what's been going on?

    ALICE
    All of the convention attendees have just been mingling. So far it's been a really nice time!

    ROARK
    I love meeting new people! I'm going to find someone to chat with right now!

    ROARK walks off.

    BROCK
    Mingling? Sounds close enough to a party to me! I'm getting a beer.

    BROCK walks off.

    ALICE
    So Roxanne, what do you think of those two?

    ROXANNE
    What do I think?

    ROXANNE (T.H.)
    Is Alice really trying to have girl talk with me? I see her maybe once a year. I don't want to deal with this!

    ALICE
    You know, who do you like more? Brock? Roark? Roark is younger, you know.

    ROXANNE
    I'm not sure how comfortable I am talking about this. They're both two real people with real feelings.

    ALICE
    Whatever you say... but personally, I'd go for Roark.

    ALICE walks off. ROXANNE spots ROARK talking to a girl, LISA.

    ROARK
    So I'm battling this guy, and he sends out a Zapdos! At first I'm just standing there in awe, wondering if I can even beat this guy, but then I said to myself, "Hold on a second, all of my Pokémon have attacks that are twice as effective on a Zapdos!" And I won!

    LISA
    Wow... that's so cool.

    ROXANNE
    That really is impressive, Roark.

    ROARK
    Oh, hi Roxanne!

    BROCK returns with two beers.

    BROCK
    Here, Roxanne, I got you a beer too.

    BROCK hands ROXANNE a beer.

    ROXANNE
    Oh, thanks so much, Brock! But what about Roark?

    BROCK
    Oh, don't worry about him. He doesn't like beer.

    ROARK (T.H.)
    That's not true. I enjoy light beer.

    ROARK
    I'll see if the bartender has anything else.

    ROARK walks off.

    BROCK
    So who's this girl?

    LISA
    My name's Lisa.

    ROXANNE
    I'm Roxanne!

    BROCK
    And I'm Brock, Pewter City Gym Leader and part time spelunker.

    LISA
    Oh... hey, do you think Roark is cool? He seems like such an awesome guy!

    BROCK
    Oh, him? I think he pulled the plug on his grandma or something like that.

    LISA
    Really?

    ROARK returns.

    ROARK
    The bartender made me this excellent drink called a martini!

    LISA
    How could you?!

    LISA storms away.

    ROARK
    Does she not like martinis?

    ROXANNE laughs.

    ROXANNE
    I wouldn't worry about it too much. Brock was just having a little bit of fun.

    BROCK
    For me, that was a lot of fun.

    ROXANNE (T.H.)
    Yeah, Roark is a really nice guy, but Brock can be really funny, both intentionally and unintentionally, sometimes. Wait, why am I telling you all of this?

    The night continues on, and BROCK, ROARK, and ROXANNE continue to drink. Eventually, ROXANNE hits her limit.

    ROXANNE
    Ugh, guys, I feel like I'm going to throw up now. I just need to run off to my room for a bit.

    ROXANNE runs off.

    ROARK
    Brock, it's been a very nice evening, but I think I'm going to call it a night. Are you going to stick around?

    BROCK
    Yeah, I'm going to wait for Roxanne to come back.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I wish we could go to my room once Roxanne gets back, but Roark has to go to bed at like five P.M.

    ROARK
    Okay then! Enjoy the rest of the night!

    ROARK walks off. BROCK waits for quite some time, but ROXANNE fails to appear. Eventually ALICE approaches BROCK.

    ALICE
    Sorry, but the bar's closing now, Brock. I hope you had a good time! And good luck on your program with Roark in the morning!

    BROCK
    Thanks Alice. And I did have a good time! I was just hoping for something better.

    INT. CELADON HOTEL HALLWAY

    BROCK is walking to his room.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Well, nothing happened with Roxanne tonight. It's just like the lottery; I tried and predictably lost, and my luck will still be bad next year anyway.

    BROCK gets to his hotel room and opens the door, and is shocked at the sight he sees: ROXANNE and ROARK in bed.

    BROCK
    What the hell? What the hell?!

    ROXANNE
    Oh my Arceus! This is so embarrassing!

    ROXANNE tries to pull some bedsheets over her.

    ROARK
    Brock! How was the rest of your night!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Well... I certainly was NOT expecting that.


    INT. PEWTER CITY GAZETTE OFFICES

    GLADYS is in her office, twiddling with her pen.

    GLADYS (T.H.)
    Really? You came here to ask me how I felt about asking Brock to have sex with me? When I was drunk? You really want to throw salt in the wound? I'm not going to talk about it! It's not something I want to relive, and quite frankly, I don't get why you're still interviewing me anyway!

    GLADYS drops her pen.

    GLADYS (T.H.)
    Oh! Whoops!

    GLADYS gets down on the floor to pick up the pen under her desk, but makes an audible gasp and appears frustrated when she comes back up.

    GLADYS (T.H.)
    Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that I saw the most interesting thing on my desk down there! "Liam was here"? He couldn't even be bothered to spell "was" the right way! I'm starting to doubt I just forgot to record that interview with Brock. I guess I'll be visiting the gym tomorrow.

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

  19. #19
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    Oh no, Gladys the evil reporter is returning! I'm sure regis will be able to deal with her... Funnily enough, I imagined Roark lying in bed still with his mining hat on. I can't see him without it.

    This is getting even better. All of the characters are hillarious, reading this reminds me of all of the mockumentaries I've watched. I just realised all of the rock gym leaders names are rock puns... I feel stupid. (except for Brock, all too obvious.)

    You're ideas are superb, do you plan or just sit down and write out all of the jokes? Where do you join inspiration from? Is it acceptable to ask all of these questions?

    Keep writing I will be looking forward to the next chapter!
    Lol.

  20. #20
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    Like moonlightning, I also wonder where you get your ideas from... the humor seems to just occur so naturally in the story that it has to come from somewhere!

    RANDOM EDIT:I just saw a shadow lugia icon in that sidebar area so I felt like trying it out here

  21. #21
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    I have everything planned out storyline-wise, so the basic plot of every episode is basically planned out. For the jokes, I just write whatever I can get out of the situation the characters are placed in. The style is obviously inspired by shows like Parks and Recreation, but I don't lift jokes from anything because that would be lazy writing on my part.

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

  22. #22
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    Episode 7: The Fangirl

    INT. CELADON HOTEL ROOM

    BROCK is sitting on his bed. ROXANNE has gotten dressed, though ROARK has only bothered to put his boxers on.

    ROXANNE
    I really don't know how to explain this.

    BROCK
    I'm not sure if I want to hear it.

    ROARK
    I can explain it! Roxanne asked me if I wanted to have sex, and I never turn anyone down for anything, so I said, "Yes"!

    ROXANNE
    Roark...

    ROARK
    What? I think I did a pretty great job explaining the situation!

    ROXANNE
    Brock, I'm sorry. Obviously my judgment is a bit... um... cloudy or something? I drank too much.

    BROCK
    Maybe you should just get back to your room for the night.

    ROXANNE
    That's a good idea. I'll see you two in the morning.

    ROXANNE leaves the room.

    ROARK
    We sure had a lot of fun!

    BROCK
    Shut it, Roark.

    The next morning, BROCK and ROARK wake up and start preparing for the program they are hosting.

    ROARK
    Are you ready for this? I've never hosted a program before, never mind co-hosting a program! We should make a great team!

    BROCK
    Roark, do you even realize that you slept with the girl I wanted to sleep with last night?

    ROARK
    Oh, you like Roxanne? She sure is nice!

    BROCK (TALKING HEAD)
    Roark isn't very good at picking up hints. One time he visited the Pewter City Gym and he wouldn't leave. I showed him the door and told him it was in working order. He stayed for an hour after that.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE


    LIAM is in the bathroom as the phone rings. LIAM hears the phone and rushes to answer it.

    LIAM (OFF CAMERA)
    Crap! I didn't even get a chance to wipe!

    LIAM enters the office but is too late. The call goes to the message machine.

    GLADYS (VOICE ONLY)
    Brock, this is Gladys. I'm swinging by the gym later today. There's something we have to discuss about our interview. I'll see you soon.

    LIAM
    This sucks. Hopefully Regis will be able to scare her away from the gym. Anyway, I better finish up.

    LIAM exits the office to go back into the bathroom.

    INT. CELADON HOTEL LOBBY

    BROCK and ROARK meet ROXANNE in the lobby.

    ROARK
    Roxanne! Hi! Are you going to our program today?

    ROXANNE
    I may. Brock, can I have a word with you?

    BROCK
    Sure.

    BROCK and ROXANNE walk off into a corner of the lobby.

    ROXANNE
    Brock, I'm really sorry about last night. It was embarrassing for me. I only did what I did last night because I was drunk.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    In girl speak, that means she totally regrets not sleeping with me.

    BROCK
    I understand. Everybody makes mistakes.

    ROXANNE
    Thanks. I really regret it.

    ROXANNE (T.H.)
    I hope Brock understands that I'm just apologizing for when he walked in on us last night. I'm not sure if I'm really into him or not.

    BROCK and ROXANNE walk back over to ROARK.

    ROARK
    I hope you guys had a nice chat! Now where are we getting breakfast? I want to go to the Pancake Palace!

    BROCK
    Fine, we can go there.

    ROARK
    Yay!

    INT. PANCAKE PALACE

    BROCK, ROXANNE, and ROARK are sitting at a table. A WAITRESS walks over to serve the three their pancakes. The three begin to start eating.


    ROARK
    These pancakes are great!

    ROXANNE
    They're okay. Definitely not the best I've ever eaten, though.

    ROARK (T.H.)
    These pancakes ARE the best I've ever eaten, but that's only because I don't think I've ever eaten pancakes before.

    ROARK
    So anyway, what are we going to go over during our program, Brock?

    BROCK
    Well, I had some remarks prepared, but now that we're working together, I guess I'll scrap those and come up with something new.

    ROARK
    You don't have to do that! What did you have written down? I want to hear it!

    BROCK
    There's a problem though. I started my speech off with "Hello everyone. My name is Brock. I'm a Rock type trainer and the gym leader of Pewter City. Today I will talk to you about," and you see, the problem there is that I used the word "I", but since both of us are doing the program, I should have used "we". It's salvageable. Also, I definitely wrote a lot more than that. I just didn't feel like reading it all.

    ROARK
    I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do, so we can say some other stuff!

    BROCK
    Yes! That's perfect!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I really dodged a bullet there.

    INT. CELADON HOTEL LOBBY

    BROCK, ROXANNE, and ROARK come back from breakfast and enter the lobby. ALICE is standing by a bespectacled girl with her brown hair in pigtails , ELIZABETH, and is relieved to see BROCK finally enter.

    ALICE
    Brock! Thank Arceus you're here!

    ELIZABETH
    Brock's here?! Yay!

    ELIZABETH starts jumping up and down, and then runs toward BROCK.

    ELIZABETH
    Brock! Brock! I'm your biggest fan! I'm Elizabeth! I think you're the best! You are the best gym leader!

    BROCK
    Um...

    ALICE walks over.

    ALICE
    Oh, I'm so sorry about this, Brock. This girl tracked me down this morning and demanded to meet you. I didn't know how to get rid of her, so I figured my only choice was to just let her meet you.

    ALICE (T.H.)
    Fans are the worst. They just walk up to you and start barking orders like they're the master of the universe instead of the master of their parents' basement!

    ELIZABETH
    I'm so excited to meet you, Brock! You are a gym leader! You are the gym leader of Pewter City! You use Rock types, which are strong against Fire types!

    BROCK
    Those are all... facts about me.

    ELIZABETH (T.H.)
    When I get excited, I just start rambling off! Like you're a cameraman! You're filming this interview! It's your job!

    ROARK
    Hi Elizabeth! I'm Roark! I'm also a Rock type gym leader! I'll be running the program with Brock later today.

    ELIZABETH
    Who's this guy?

    ALICE
    Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, Brock, but this girl is one of the only people who bought a ticket to your program.

    ELIZABETH
    I don't want anyone sharing the stage with Brock! I bought that ticket to the program with my money! It was an affordable ticket!

    BROCK
    You can watch me during the program, then. Don't we have to prepare now, Roark?

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I don't like rabid fans. They're like rabid Growlithes, except rabid fans don't bite... well, most of them.

    ROARK
    That's sounds like a great idea! We'll see you later, Roxanne!

    ROXANNE
    Good luck! I'll probably check in on your program later.

    BROCK and ROARK walk away, leaving ROXANNE, ELIZABETH, and ALICE.

    ELIZABETH
    Who are you, lady?

    ROXANNE
    I'm Roxanne. I'm the gym leader of Rustboro City, and I'm friends with Brock and Roark.

    ELIZABETH
    Are you Brock's girlfriend? You better not be Brock's girlfriend! I want to be Brock's girlfriend!

    ROXANNE
    Okay...

    INT. CELADON HOTEL CONVENTION STAGE

    BROCK and ROARK are sitting at a table up on a stage. No one else has entered the auditorium yet.

    BROCK
    Roark, I have a question. Did you have any idea that I like Roxanne?

    ROARK
    Oh, of course I did! What's not to like about her?

    BROCK
    Well, by "like", I guess I really meant "want to have sex with".

    ROARK
    Oh, I figured that too. I thought it wouldn't be that big of a deal because you want to have sex with basically every girl anyway!

    BROCK
    Are you serious? Yes, I do want to have sex with anyone that gets a seven or higher on my scale, but Roxanne is like a ten! You were out of line!

    ROARK (T.H.)
    I'm starting to think I did something wrong...

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    There is a knock on the door, and LIAM opens it to find GLADYS waiting for him. GLADYS walks right into the gym.

    GLADYS
    Liam, where's Brock?

    LIAM
    Who the hell is Liam?!

    GLADYS
    What are you even talking about? I'm not here to play games. I need to talk to Brock right now!

    LIAM
    My name is Regis! You got a problem with that or something, lady?

    GLADYS
    What I do have a problem with is how difficult it is to get a straight answer out of anyone at this gym! And who the hell is Regis?! Your name is Liam!

    LIAM
    I've never heard of this Liam, but he sounds like a real loser. I told you, my name's Regis!

    GLADYS
    Regis... dammit! It was you! You petulant little ****!

    LIAM is now visibly shaken.

    LIAM
    What are you talking about?

    GLADYS
    The day my tape of the Brock interview was erased, my editor told me some kid named Regis accused me of shady journalism! And then, just the other day, I find a message on the bottom of my desk. And you know what it said? Liam was here! Except "was" was spelled wrong!

    LIAM
    I... don't get where you're going with this.

    GLADYS
    Stop trying to deny this, Liam! You went to my editor, defamed my character, and then broke into my office and got rid of the tape to protect Brock! I bet he put you up to it, too!

    LIAM
    Um... I don't think any of that happened.

    GLADYS
    Really? You want to play this game?! Well, wherever the hell Brock is, you can tell him he can't hide forever, because I'm going to drag his *** into court!

    GLADYS storms out of the gym, slamming the door shut.

    LIAM
    Um...

    LIAM (T.H.)
    I don't think I'll tell Brock any of that. It's for the best, right?
    INT. CELADON HOTEL CONVENTION STAGE

    BROCK and ROARK are still sitting on stage, but now people are filling into the auditorium. ELIZABETH is one of the first people in, and she gets herself a front row seat.

    ELIZABETH
    Brock! I can't believe you're on stage! You are going to talk to us! You're probably going to talk about Rock type Pokémon! This is amazing!

    BROCK turns to ROARK.

    BROCK
    Can we get rid of her? She's pretty annoying?

    ROARK
    I don't see what the problem is.

    ROARK (T.H.)
    I absolutely love my fans! They're just so nice to me! Some of them even send me stuff, like locks of their hair. The best part about that is that I can donate the hair to make toupees or merkins for people that suffer from hair loss.

    The auditorium is now packed, so BROCK and ROARK decide to begin the program.

    ROARK
    Hello! It's so nice to see such a great turn out! I'm Roark...

    BROCK
    And I'm Brock.

    ELIZABETH
    I love you, Brock!

    ROARK
    And today we're going to talk to you about our experiences running Rock type gyms.

    BROCK
    But first, we thought it'd be fun to do a little Q and A, so anyone who has any questions can line up behind the microphone right there-

    BROCK points to a microphone in between columns of seats in the auditorium.

    BROCK
    -and you can ask us whatever you want.

    ELIZABETH runs up to be the first person at the microphone, and others follow.

    ELIZABETH
    Hi, I just want to say that you're my favorite, Brock! I love you! And I guess my question would be... um... will you marry me?

    BROCK
    Uh... no. Next question.

    ELIZABETH goes to her seat, somewhat disappointed, while a MAN takes the microphone.

    MAN
    Hello, I have a question for the guy in the hard hat.

    ROARK
    That would be me.

    MAN
    Yeah, why are you wearing a hard hat? It's not like you're doing any mining now.

    ROARK
    That is a great question. You see, I had sex last night, and it really messed up my hair. I didn't feel like putting a lot of effort into fixing it up this morning, so I just put my hard hat on.

    MAN
    That makes a lot of sense. Thank you.

    MAN (T.H.)
    That was a satisfactory answer. Hey, while you're recording me, I may as well tell you something fun. You know what else I call hard hats? Condoms.

    A WOMAN now takes the microphone.

    WOMAN
    I have a question for both of you.

    BROCK
    Go ahead.

    WOMAN
    What kind of mileage is good on a used car? I went to the dealership last week but I think the salesman was lying to me.

    BROCK
    I don't see how that's relevant at all.

    ROARK
    Oh, don't worry, I got this one! Usually you don't want to buy a used car that has more than 80,000 miles on it.

    WOMAN
    Ah, the salesman was lying to me. Figures.

    The WOMAN leaves, and a GIRL now takes the microphone.

    GIRL
    First off I just want to thank both of you for being here! It's so nice of you!

    ROARK
    Why thank you, little lady!

    BROCK
    You're welcome.

    GIRL
    Anyway... my question is... hm... I don't know what to ask!

    ROARK
    Don't get nervous! You can ask us whatever you'd like!

    GIRL
    Okay! What's your favorite color?

    BROCK
    Brown.

    ROARK
    Brown.

    GIRL
    Oh...

    The GIRL walks away and is replace by DALLAS.

    DALLAS
    I finally found ya' at last, Brock!

    ROARK
    Oh, do you know this gentleman already?

    BROCK
    Yeah, he's a real jackass.

    DALLAS
    Ya' know, some fella at the gym tried to trick me, but I ain't falling for anything!

    BROCK
    Do you have a question?

    DALLAS
    Now wait just a darn minute! Yeah, I do got a question! I want to throw down with yer Pokémon!

    ROARK
    Did he ask that question yet?

    BROCK
    No. I guess if he really wants to battle me, we can do it right here on stage.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Normally I would never battle, especially not in public, but this guy was annoying me, and I figured I could make an *** out of him in front of everyone.

    ROARK
    I'll ref, then!

    DALLAS climbs up on stage, and he heads opposite to BROCK on the stage. ROARK moves off to the side.

    ELIZABETH
    Good luck, Brock! You're in a battle! You will win the battle! I know it!

    ROARK
    So how many Pokémon will you be using?

    DALLAS
    I don't got any Pokémon! I got my fists! Houston and San Antonio never failed me before!

    ROARK
    Uh... are you okay with this, Brock?

    BROCK
    It's exactly why I accepted his challenge in the first place. Geodude, go!

    BROCK throws a Pokéball to release his GEODUDE.

    GEODUDE
    Geo, geo!

    DALLAS
    Heh, ya' really think that there Geodude can stand up to me! We'll see about that, pardner!

    DALLAS runs straight at GEODUDE and throws a punch at it. GEODUDE stays still, but DALLAS is obviously in pain.

    DALLAS
    Ow! That hurt like a Clefairy with a machete! How could Houston fail me?!

    BROCK
    Geodude is a Rock type. You basically punched a rock. How did you not see this coming?

    DALLAS
    My fists are unstoppable, that's how!

    ROARK
    Well, I'm calling this. Brock wins!

    ELIZABETH
    Yeah! I knew you could win, Brock!

    DALLAS storms off the stage as BROCK returns GEODUDE to its Pokéball.

    DALLAS
    I ain't giving up! One day I'll beat ya'!

    BROCK
    That's not going to happen.

    ROARK
    I say we end the questions now. I think what this audience really wants is for us to talk about our experiences!

    BROCK
    Okay. Good. I don't think I can take anymore questions.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Really, the questions were more on topic than they have been at previous conventions.

    ROARK
    Okay, so I've been a gym leader for about one year. Brock, how long have you had the position?

    BROCK
    I don't know. The time just seems to fly by.

    ROARK
    But anyway, we're both Rock type trainers! We aren't the only Rock type gym leaders though; there's also Roxanne of Rustboro City. She's very charming!

    BROCK
    Why would you bring that up?

    ROARK
    It's just a fun fact I thought I'd bring up.

    ROXANNE enters the auditorium, but BROCK and ROARK don't notice.

    BROCK
    You're just adding insult to injury! You know that I'm pissed off that you had sex with her!

    ROXANNE
    Why would you talk about that in front of everyone?!

    Everyone in the auditorium turns around to see the source of the shouting. ROXANNE becomes visibly upset and runs out of the room. BROCK decides to give chase.

    BROCK
    Dammit! This is all your fault, Roark!

    BROCK exits the room.

    ROARK
    Anyway, training Rock types is a lot of fun!

    INT. CELADON HOTEL LOBBY


    BROCK catches up to ROXANNE in the lobby.

    BROCK
    Roxanne! Wait!

    ROXANNE
    No! Get away from me!

    ROXANNE pushes BROCK away.

    BROCK
    Why are you doing this to me? Why did you sleep with Roark?!

    ROXANNE
    Brock, you're so immature! Just get over it already! For Arceus's sake, I'm an adult! I'm going to be having casual sex with people; it doesn't mean I'm in love with all of them! You have to blow everything out of proportion!

    BROCK
    So does that mean I still have a chance with you?

    ROXANNE
    Don't talk to me right now! I'm out of here!

    ROXANNE storms out of the hotel.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Well, she didn't say no. That makes it one of the best interactions with a woman I've ever had! Touchdown!

    ELIZABETH, who had been secretly watching the argument the whole time, decides to approach BROCK.

    ELIZABETH
    It's okay, Brock. She was a hussy anyway! I'm nice and pure! We should go out sometime!

    BROCK
    Who are you again?

    ELIZABETH
    I'm your biggest fan!

    BROCK
    Oh. What was your name again?

    ELIZABETH
    It's Elizabeth, silly! How could you forget the future love of your life's name?

    BROCK
    Future love of my life!? I thought you were my biggest fan?

    ELIZABETH
    The two aren't mutually exclusive!

    BROCK
    Okay... well, I have to go now! Hopefully I'll never see you again!

    ELIZABETH (T.H.)
    The best thing about Brock is his humor! "Hopefully I'll never see you again"? That was hilarious! I know deep down, he loves me!

    INT. CELADON HOTEL ROOM


    BROCK is packing his things when ROARK enters the room.

    ROARK
    You're leaving already?! We still have two more restaurants to try!

    BROCK
    This weekend was a disaster for me. I just want to get back to the gym.

    ROARK
    I guess I'll ask Alice to go out to eat with me! She's nice too!

    BROCK
    I don't want to see Alice right now. I'm not sure if I'd be able to explain that outburst during the program.

    As if on cue, ALICE barges into the room.

    ALICE
    Brock, what the hell happened during your program?! I heard it was a total train wreck!

    BROCK
    I may have yelled at Roark for sleeping with a woman I had the hots for. It's no big deal.

    ALICE
    No big deal?! Brock, it's a big deal! People ate it up! Apparently everyone loves a good disaster. I was worried that it'd end up as a PR disaster, but if something like that will get more butts into seats, I'm willing to get you and Roark to come back to host another program next year!

    BROCK
    Oh! Well...

    ROARK
    Of course we'll do it!

    BROCK
    I'm not sure.

    ALICE
    Think about it. If you do accept, I'll make sure that the open bar is a lot better than it has been. We've been watering the drinks down since last year so that we can spend less money on alcohol.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I knew it!

    BROCK
    Well, I'll give it some thought. As for now, I'm leaving. Alice, it was nice seeing you again. Roark... I saw you again. Bye.

    BROCK leaves the room.

    ROARK
    Alice, do you want to go out to eat with me?

    ALICE
    I'd love to!

    BROCK (T.H.)
    What a convention! There was sex, alcohol, and intrigue! I only wish that some of the sex involved me.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    BROCK enters the gym with his suitcases to find LIAM waiting for him.

    LIAM
    You're finally back, sir!

    BROCK
    I am! Did you do a good job taking care of the gym?

    LIAM
    Of course I did! I didn't hand out a single badge! How did the convention go, sir?

    BROCK
    It was okay. The good news is that the open bar will be a lot better next year. Now then, did anything important happen when I was gone?

    LIAM
    Um... nothing! Nothing important at all!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Hey, I'm not technically lying, because... hm... I don't consider lawsuits important! Yup, that's it! And now that I somehow justified it, I can sleep easy!

    All of a sudden, ELIZABETH barges into the gym.

    ELIZABETH
    Brock! It's you! This is your gym! I'm so excited to be here!

    LIAM
    Do you know her?

    ELIZABETH jumps over to LIAM.

    ELIZABETH
    You must be Liam, right? You're the gym assistant! You help out Brock! I know so much about you!

    LIAM
    Have we met before? How do you know my name?!

    BROCK
    Crazy stalker girl, why are you even here right now?

    ELIZABETH
    I followed you back from the convention! I'm going to hang out around the gym all the time now! Isn't that great?

    BROCK
    Do you even live anywhere near Pewter City?

    ELIZABETH
    Absolutely not! But my parents have been trying to kick me out of the house since all I do when I'm not at work is go on my fansite for you, so I got a hotel room at Pewter City! They won't miss me at all!

    BROCK
    That's nice... for them.

    ELIZABETH
    I'm going to be here everyday! Then, we're going to become best friends! Then, we're going to become lovers! Then, we're going to get married! Isn't that great, Brock?!

    BROCK
    Er...

    BROCK (T.H.)
    I'm not sure if I can handle this girl being around all the time. Actually, strike that, I AM sure I can't handle having her around. I better find a way to get rid of her.

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

  23. #23
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    I saw the last update got no reviews, so I thought I would actually review it for once. As always, it was really, really good, and made me laugh a lot. I am curious how Brock managed to get a single fan, but I guess it doesn't really matter. It's interesting how you managed to actually make a plot out of what originally seemed to be a lot of loosely connected one-shots.
    The Flash Drive of Champions: Backgrounds

    There are many reasons to journey in the Pokemon World. It turns out that banishment, Bond Villains, unbeatable rivals and being forced to attend one dance too many are among them.

    File 2.5 is up. Gela literally puts on a show for the world to see while elsewhen her world is shattered beyond repair.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rediamond View Post
    I am curious how Brock managed to get a single fan, but I guess it doesn't really matter.
    There are always a couple of wackjobs out there. I mean, even Tracey somehow has fans, right? :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Rediamond View Post
    It's interesting how you managed to actually make a plot out of what originally seemed to be a lot of loosely connected one-shots.
    Before I started writing this, I planned out the entire story (13 episodes, by the way) on a "Master Document" (though that's probably giving myself too much credit; it's just a page and a half in Word). Personally, I believe I have a great ending for this, as it really builds off of everything that comes before it. Look forward to it!

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

  25. #25
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    Episode 8: Sweepstakes Mania

    EXT. PEWTER CITY STREET

    LIAM is walking on the sidewalk as he makes his way to the gym. ELIZABETH spots him and runs over to him.

    ELIZABETH
    Liam! Hi!

    LIAM
    Oh... hey... you.

    ELIZABETH
    This is great! You're going to the gym, right? Two friends, walking together! We're friends, right?

    LIAM
    I don't even know your name.

    ELIZABETH
    Ha! You're almost as funny as Brock!

    LIAM (TALKING HEAD)
    I'm not too thrilled about this girl coming into work every day, but at least she isn't getting a paycheck.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE


    BROCK is sitting in his office, flipping through his old high school yearbook.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    After Roxanne accused me of being immature at the convention, I've been doing some serious self reflecting. And what better way to do that than to go through my yearbook back from high school!

    LIAM and ELIZABETH walk into the office.

    LIAM
    Morning, sir. Unfortunately, this one came with me.

    ELIZABETH
    Good morning, Brock! It's morning! That's the early time of the day!

    BROCK
    Where did I go wrong?

    LIAM
    What are you talking about, sir?

    BROCK holds up his yearbook.

    BROCK
    I've been looking through my old yearbook. I'll tell you, those were the best days of my life. And now look at me! I don't even have a girlfriend!

    LIAM
    Who was your girlfriend back in high school, sir?

    BROCK
    Oh, I didn't have one, but that's not important.

    ELIZABETH
    You have me!

    LIAM
    No one asked you!

    BROCK flips to his picture in his yearbook and shows it to LIAM and ELIZABETH.

    BROCK
    Look at me back then! I was on top of the world!

    ELIZABETH
    Wow! You look just as handsome as you do now! That is a great picture! I like it!

    BROCK
    But now, I'm on the bottom of the world.

    LIAM
    Sir, I don't think you've ever lived in the North Pole or the South Pole.

    BROCK flips to another page of the yearbook that shows the track team.

    BROCK
    Look at this! The track team!

    LIAM
    You ran track back in high school?

    BROCK
    Of course not, but I was best friends with those guys! I even bought a varsity jacket off of one of them! Those were the days!

    ELIZABETH
    But since I'm here the days are even better, right?

    BROCK
    Liam, get her out of here. I need to wallow in my self pity for a bit.

    LIAM
    Yes, sir! Come on!

    LIAM and ELIZABETH exit the office.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    ELIZABETH
    We have a problem. It seems like Brock is stuck in some sort of nostalgic stupor. What do we do?!

    LIAM
    Why are you asking me?

    ELIZABETH
    Well, you've knows Brock for a while. How do you usually solve situations like this?

    LIAM
    Oh, Brock always comes up with some sort of scheme to solve our problems. I'm never very helpful when it comes to this kind of stuff.

    ELIZABETH
    Argh! What do we do?!

    LIAM
    I don't know! Do you have anything I can squat with? Squatting will get my brain going!

    ELIZABETH
    Liam, you're assistant to the greatest gym leader EVER! I expect more from you!

    LIAM (T.H.)
    Have I become too reliant on squatting? No. But really... yes.

    LIAM
    Well, if you aren't going to give me anything to squat with, you can expect nothing!

    ELIZABETH
    I guess I'm going to have to snap him out of it myself!

    ELIZABETH storms away.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE

    ELIZABETH barges into the office. BROCK is still looking at his yearbook.

    ELIZABETH
    Brock, put that yearbook away right now!

    ELIZABETH (T.H.)
    Yes, I love Brock... but there is such a thing as tough love.

    BROCK sighs.

    BROCK
    Did you know that my friend Steve was voted most likely to succeed?

    ELIZABETH
    Huh?

    BROCK
    I wonder if he became successful after all. He's probably sitting in his yacht right now, wearing a top hat and a monocle, right next to his high class prostitute.

    ELIZABETH
    Brock, why are you doing this to yourself?

    BROCK
    And what vote did I win during high school? Nothing!

    ELIZABETH
    There are more categories than students, you know. Most people don't get voted for in any category.

    BROCK
    I was voted most likely to do nothing!

    ELIZABETH
    That was a category?

    BROCK
    And once my high school reunion comes around, guess what? I'll just prove to all of them that they were right! I'm nothing!

    ELIZABETH
    You're not nothing! You're the greatest gym leader ever!

    BROCK
    If I want to be better than Steve, I'm going to have to make a lot of money, and fast!

    ELIZABETH
    Are you ignoring me?

    BROCK
    I got it! I'll enter a bunch of contests! Maybe I'll buy some lottery tickets as well! I need to go get Liam!

    BROCK runs out of the office.

    ELIZABETH (T.H.)
    I feel like he was talking to himself the whole time...

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Huh? There was someone in the room with me? Are you sure?

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    BROCK jolts over to LIAM, with ELIZABETH following soon after.

    BROCK
    Liam, I'm going to need your help!

    LIAM
    What is it, sir?

    BROCK
    We're going to be entering a lot of contests! I have to work on my computer to find as many corporate sweepstakes that I can find! You need to get down to the PokéMart and buy as many lottery tickets as possible!

    LIAM
    I'm not old enough to buy lottery tickets, sir.

    BROCK
    Uh...

    BROCK looks at ELIZABETH.

    BROCK
    Take her with you! She can buy them!

    LIAM
    Great idea, sir! That's why you're the boss!

    ELIZABETH
    I guess we'll be on our way then!

    LIAM and ELIZABETH leave the gym.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    This is such a great plan to secure my financial future, I don't get how more people are doing it! Actually, maybe you shouldn't broadcast any of these parts. I don't want people stealing my secret to success!

    EXT. PEWTER CITY STREET

    LIAM and ELIZABETH are walking down the street to the PokéMart.

    ELIZABETH
    Liam, you know we have to put a stop to this, right?

    LIAM
    Why? This plan is foolproof!

    ELIZABETH
    Even though Brock's the best person ever, those contests are all fixed! He can't win any of them!

    ELIZABETH (T.H.)
    I don't see why it's crazy to think all of those sweepstakes are fixed. It's no more crazy than thinking the former Kanto champion being assassinated was just a cover up to hide the fact he was abducted by aliens!

    LIAM
    Brock has never steered me wrong! I'm sure he'll be rich by tomorrow!

    ELIZABETH
    Fine, I'll go along with this for now, but only until I can convince Brock that this is a bad idea!

    LIAM
    Okay! By the way, do you think you can buy all these lottery tickets? I don't have any money on me.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE

    LIAM and ELIZABETH enter the office to find BROCK on the computer.

    LIAM
    We got your lottery tickets, sir!

    LIAM slams a bunch of lottery tickets on the desk.

    BROCK
    Excellent! You played my lucky numbers, right?

    LIAM
    We played your lucky numbers on ALL of them! That increases your odds of winning!

    ELIZABETH
    I don't really know math, but it makes sense to me!

    BROCK
    Good job! I've been searching through sweepstakes online. Mostly I've been sticking to ones that just require a name and address.

    ELIZABETH
    You can't do that! You have to enter the ones that require some original thought! Those have the big payoffs!

    BROCK
    Listen, I don't think you understand what I'm trying to do here, and I also have no clue as to who you are. But anyway, I don't want to enter any contests that require creativity! I'm trying to make money with as little effort as possible!

    ELIZABETH
    You'll never be rich with that attitude! Hold on...

    ELIZABETH moves BROCK away from the computer and starts surfing the internet.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    Right now, if I was to win every contest I entered, I'd be richer by five grand. I'm feeling pretty lucky.

    ELIZABETH
    Found something!

    LIAM
    What is it?

    ELIZABETH
    Shellder Soda is holding a contest to see who can come up with the best slogan for their products.

    LIAM
    Hm... I got one! Shellder Soda: it's Shellderlicious!

    ELIZABETH
    Well... we can use that as a backup if we have to. Brock, do you have any ideas?

    BROCK seems deep in thought.

    BROCK
    Hm...

    LIAM
    Do you have anything, sir?

    BROCK
    Shellder Soda: you know it's good.

    LIAM
    Brilliant!

    ELIZABETH
    Genius!

    BROCK
    We'll win this contest yet! Enter that catchphrase, random girl!

    ELIZABETH hurriedly types the entry into the submission form online.

    ELIZABETH
    Done! Let's enter another one!

    ELIZABETH gets back to surfing the internet.

    LIAM
    You'll be rich in no time, Brock!

    ELIZABETH
    Found another one! Rage Candy Bar wants a name for their new chocolate bar!

    BROCK
    Symphony!

    LIAM
    Wow, sir! It's so eloquent!

    ELIZABETH
    I'll enter that into the website now.

    BROCK
    Give me another! I'm on a roll!

    ELIZABETH
    I got an idea! How about you take that roll out into the gym and you be the best gym leader you can be?

    BROCK
    Hm... you know what? I got a better idea! I'm not going to make any money sitting around as a gym leader! How about I take my roll into the Pewter City Casino instead? I can make tons of cash there!

    ELIZABETH
    That wasn't what I was getting at...

    LIAM
    I've always wanted to go to the casino!

    BROCK
    What are we waiting for?! Let's get moving!

    BROCK and LIAM rush out of the office.

    ELIZABETH (T.H.)
    I'm not getting through to him. Maybe I should use my feminine wiles.

    INT. PEWTER CITY CASINO


    BROCK, LIAM, and ELIZABETH walk into the casino. LIAM seems overwhelmed by all the lights and noises coming from the slot machines.

    ELIZABETH
    I never knew Pewter City had a casino.

    BROCK
    Sure is convenient, right?

    LIAM
    You should play one of those machines, sir! They look fun!

    BROCK
    I'm more of a card man!

    BROCK finds a card table and sits down. LIAM and ELIZABETH stand next to him. The DEALER is already at the table, along with JEFF, a bald man with a goatee, and SUSAN, a woman covered with gaudy makeup and extravagant jewelry.

    BROCK
    Deal me in!

    DEALER
    You need to place your bet first, sir.

    BROCK
    Oh, sorry.

    BROCK places some chips in the middle of the table. The DEALER first deals a five and an eight to JEFF, then a six and a nine to BROCK, then a seven and a king to SUSAN, and finally deals a ten and a three to himself.

    BROCK
    I'll go first!

    BROCK turns to JEFF.

    BROCK
    Got any twos?

    JEFF
    Psh...

    JEFF (T.H.)
    My name's Jeff... that's right, I'm THE Jeff. I've competed in the World Blackjack Showdown, World Blackjack Showdown: All Stars, World Blackjack Showdown: All Stars Versus Celebrities, and World Blackjack Showdown: Humans Versus Pokémon. So yeah, I'm pretty good at blackjack.

    DEALER
    We're not playing Go Fish, sir.

    BROCK
    Oh, silly me!

    BROCK looks around the table.

    BROCK
    So who here has the old maid?

    SUSAN
    I take offense to that!

    SUSAN (T.H.)
    I'm in my EARLY fifties. Early means young. So I'm young. Don't let anyone who claims that I got plastic surgery sway you otherwise!

    DEALER
    The game is blackjack, sir.

    BROCK
    Oh! That game! Okay, I got it!

    The DEALER turns to JEFF.

    DEALER
    Hit or stay?

    JEFF
    Hit.

    JEFF is dealt a seven.

    JEFF
    I'll stay.

    The DEALER now turns to BROCK.

    DEALER
    Hit or stay?

    BROCK
    Hm...

    ELIZABETH
    You can do it, Brock!

    ELIZABETH starts rubbing BROCK on the back, which visibly disturbs him.

    BROCK
    Er... I'll hit.

    BROCK is dealt a nine.

    DEALER
    That's a bust, sir.

    BROCK
    Hah! In your face, goatee douchebag! I win!

    JEFF
    Please. You suck.

    DEALER
    Sir, you went over twenty-one. That means you lost.

    BROCK
    Oh, right! Blackjack! I'm sorry, I forgot.

    ELIZABETH
    Oh, you did your best, love!

    ELIZABETH throws her arms around BROCK, which causes him to start shaking, disturbed.

    ELIZABETH (T.H.)
    I think it's working!

    The DEALER finally turns to SUSAN.

    DEALER
    Hit or stay, madam?

    SUSAN
    Oh, you can call me Susan. When do you get off shift? Did you know I'm younger than my sister?

    DEALER
    I just need to know if you're going to hit or stay.

    SUSAN
    Fine, I'll hit.

    SUSAN is dealt a five.

    DEALER
    That's a bust. My turn.

    The DEALER deals himself a ten.

    DEALER
    And that's a bust for me. You win, sir.

    The DEALER hands the chips over to JEFF.

    BROCK
    Okay, time out everyone! Liam, I need to talk to you.

    BROCK and LIAM move away from the table, and begin talking in really soft voices.

    BROCK
    Liam, we got a problem. That girl is using her feminine wiles on me.

    LIAM
    She's such a weirdo! What do we do?

    BROCK
    She needs to stop. Liam, I'm sorry, but can you use your masculine wiles on her?

    LIAM
    Masculine wiles?

    BROCK
    Yes. If you start seducing her, she'll be too distracted to seduce me.

    LIAM
    She's a lot older than me, sir. I'm not sure if she'll fall for it.

    BROCK
    Well, we'll find out. Let's get back in there!

    BROCK and LIAM walk back over to the table, and BROCK sits down and puts his chips in.

    BROCK
    Good, you waited for us!

    DEALER
    I didn't have anything better to do.

    DEALER (T.H.)
    I literally don't have anything better to do today. This casino is government run, and unfortunately I got convicted of a misdemeanor, so it's either do nothing here or do nothing in jail.

    JEFF
    Well I had a problem with it. Some of us are here to play a game, you know.

    SUSAN
    And some of us are here to flirt with men much younger than ourselves!

    The DEALER deals cards to JEFF, BROCK, SUSAN, and himself. BROCK gets a pair of twos. The DEALER turns to JEFF.

    DEALER
    Hit or stay?

    JEFF
    Hit.

    As the DEALER hands JEFF a card, LIAM approaches ELIZABETH and starts rubbing her back.

    ELIZABETH
    What are you doing?

    LIAM
    You're so pretty and soft!

    ELIZABETH
    Er... I have to go over there now.

    ELIZABETH walks away as JEFF goes bust. BROCK gives LIAM a thumbs up.

    ELIZABETH (T.H.)
    Liam is being creepy. If people see someone that young flirting with me, I'm going to spend the rest of my days working at this casino!

    The DEALER now turns to BROCK.

    DEALER
    Hit or stay?

    BROCK
    Hit!

    The DEALER hands BROCK another two.

    BROCK
    Three of a kind! I stay!

    DEALER
    Sir, your card total is six. If you hit, you're guaranteed to not go bust.

    BROCK
    Why would I want another card when I have a hand as great as this?!

    The DEALER sighs and turns to SUSAN.

    SUSAN
    You don't have to say anything. You can hit me.

    DEALER (T.H.)
    The female clientele are always flirting with me, but that's just because they think I can hand out chips for free. And the dice. You don't want to know what they do with the dice.

    The DEALER sighs and hands SUSAN a card.

    DEALER
    That's a bust. And now my turn.

    The DEALER hands himself a card.

    DEALER
    And I bust too. Looks like Mister Three of a Kind wins!

    The DEALER hands BROCK his chips. ELIZABETH notices this and walks over.

    ELIZABETH
    Great job, Brock! Maybe you should quit while you're ahead!

    BROCK
    Oh, I'm quitting blackjack, but I'm going to get even more ahead. I thought of an even better way to make money!

    ELIZABETH
    Oh...

    BROCK gets up from the table and leaves the casino, with LIAM and ELIZABETH following him.

    JEFF (T.H.)
    That man was absolutely the worst person I have ever played blackjack with, and I've played with a Growlithe once.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE

    BROCK, LIAM, and ELIZABETH are waiting in the office.

    ELIZABETH
    Who did you call, Brock?

    BROCK
    I called a stock broker! Buying stocks is like gambling, but on an even greater scale! I'm going to be rich!

    LIAM
    Don't you already have stock in Team Rocket, sir?

    BROCK
    Yeah, but that stock has been stagnant ever since that Game Corner in Celadon mysteriously came under new management.

    A man in a disheveled suit, STEVE, walks into the office.

    STEVE
    Hello, everyone! Are you ready to make some money?

    BROCK
    Wait, I remember you! You're Steve from high school! You were voted most likely to succeed!

    STEVE
    Ah, you're Brock, right? I'd recognize those eyes anywhere! I was hoping no one would remember that little vote, though.

    BROCK
    Why? Look at you! You're a stock broker! Why does your suit look so dirty, though?

    STEVE
    Oh, this? I bought it second hand. Well... I didn't really buy it, more like stole it off of a homeless person. It makes me wonder where he got it from.

    BROCK
    So do you have a nice yacht or something now?

    STEVE
    Oh, you're just trying to flatter me! But yes, I do have a yacht. If only I could get it out of that parking lot now...

    LIAM
    I've always wanted to go on a yacht! Can I visit sometime?

    STEVE
    Of course you can, little buddy! You'd just have to deal with the rabid Sentret that I can't get off the yacht, though.

    LIAM
    Oh...

    BROCK
    How about we move away from that topic, hm? What stocks do you think would be good to buy, Steve?

    STEVE
    I'm glad you asked! Right now, the best companies to invest in are car companies! I have these records from twenty years ago and they all seem to be doing pretty well!

    ELIZABETH
    Aren't all the car companies failing? That seems like a bad investment.

    STEVE
    I would never steer you wrong. You see, I get a commission based on how well your stock does, and I need all the cash I can get in order to fuel my drug addiction!

    BROCK
    Oh, you know what? I'm not sure if I want to buy stock anymore.

    STEVE
    If you say so, buddy! If you ever change my mind, just give me a ring!

    STEVE (T.H.)
    Hey, I'm not sure who's watching this, but don't be afraid to ask me to be your personal stock broker! That even includes you, cameraman! Wait... do cameramen buy stock?

    STEVE leaves the office.

    BROCK
    I think it's time to call it a day now.

    ELIZABETH
    That's it? You've given up on your sweepstakes mania? That's great! Wait, what about all of those lottery tickets you made me buy, though?

    BROCK
    Oh, those? Eh... keep them, I guess. I'm content with myself now.

    BROCK (T.H.)
    When this day first started, Steve was most likely to succeed and I was a nobody, but now, Steve's a bigger loser than me, which is saying something! At least I don't have a drug addiction and steal clothes from homeless people... though ignoring the dirt, that was a nice suit.

    INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA

    LIAM and ELIZABETH exit the office.

    ELIZABETH
    Great job today, Liam! We were able to cure Brock of his contest obsession!

    LIAM
    What did we do? We just got lucky that Steve turned out to be a huge lamer.

    ELIZABETH
    Oh, don't be so negative! I'll see you tomorrow, along with Brock, the love of my life!

    ELIZABETH exits the gym.

    LIAM (T.H.)
    I can't handle any more Elizabeth! Brock and I have a very delicate dynamic, and she's ruining it! Soon, Brock won't be asking me for help anymore, even though I can never seem to help him anyway! And then what reason would I have to be around?

    EXT. PEWTER CITY STREET


    ELIZABETH is walking back to her hotel room.

    ELIZABETH (T.H.)
    Today was great! Sure, I spent over fifty dollars on lottery tickets, but I was able to do it for the love of my life, Brock! And once I finally manage to get Brock to fall in love with me, I'll be a TV star! Here's to hoping that you'll be filming the exploits of Brock for a very, VERY long time!

    The Gym - Brock is an incompetent gym leader. Hilarity ensues.

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