Encyclopika: Ha ha, I don't blame you for worrying about whatever was going to happen. Chapter five did catch a lot of people off-guard. The religious text had nothing to do with it xD. But considering that it's Arceus, I expect him to quote scripture. And I figured no one was going to get it anyway, it's not a well-known scripture, but considering its background, it's a rather dark, upsetting passage(s?) that wouldn't really be forgotten very easily.
I hope to at least get a giggle, I wanted to try and poke fun of
everyone mortals and at least get a light-hearted chapter up.
It gets serious after this, so enjoy it while you can.
Go ahead, laugh at yourself. I did.
Chapter Six: A Day in the Life of a Mortal
“And it came to pass that after I, the Lord God, had driven them out,
that Adam began to till the earth... to eat his bread by the sweat of his brow,
as I the Lord had commanded him. And Eve, also, his wife, did labor with him.”
-- Moses 5:1
It was extremely difficult to force oneself to wake up, to cause the stiff body to stand. They were all dizzy, feeling sick to their stomachs and visions hazy, a few complaining about the affliction. Mewtwo was the first to recover, glancing around at the stumbling Legendaries and surrounding emptiness. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he felt different, like he was not in his own body. Physically, he was still himself, mentally, he was the same. So what was wrong? He spun around expecting Arceus to be standing there, watching their struggles, but he was nowhere to be found. Blinking, he turned his gaze to the sky. No ray of sunshine shone through the clouds above them. Frowning, he massaged his temples trying to soothe his developing headache. It was oddly stronger now.
Picking himself up from the dust, Deoxys groaned, “My spine friggin' hurts.” He stretched, cricking his neck and popping his back.
“No, really?” Lugia sneered, trying to steady his balance and shooting a half-hearted glare in his direction. “You must've slept on a rock. The ground here was cloud-like, I barely felt a thing.”
Palkia let out a yawn, stretching over his head. “Oh, boy, I feel tired.” He scratched his lower back, face scrunched in thought. “Which says something, as I don't sleep very often.”
“We just woke up from a weird experience, our bodies think they feel tired.” Dialga staggered to his feet, making his rival snort. “Or... we just gained some weight during our... couple hours' worth of sleep or whatever.”
A shout of joy suddenly sounded, startling the group and causing those who were barely standing to collapse again. Everyone turned to the source, and their jaws dropped. Rayquaza—not seeming to realize he may be making a fool of himself—was excitedly spinning around, looking at everything and closing one eye then the other multiple times, grinning brightly. “I got my eyeball back!” He brought his tail to his sight, and squealed. “I'm fully healed! It's a miracle!”
After getting over the initial shock of the dragon's elation, Azelf glanced down at himself, running his hands all over his body. “Hey, I'm healed, too!” he announced, picking up the tail he knew the gem had been forcibly removed from. It gleamed brightly up at him like it was glad to see him. He looked at his brother and gasped, pointing at his appendage. “It grew back!”
Darkrai had an eye closed as he glanced around thrillingly. “My vision cleared up! Not that it wasn't bad when you healed it, Jirachi,” he quickly apologized.
The Wish Maker only shrugged, tugging at the aqua tags on his extensions that he knew weren't there earlier. “I'm happy for you.”
“Celebi, you're not brown anymore!” Entei expressed out, pointing at the pixie. His sister was too surprised to smack him for his remark.
Indeed, Celebi had been restored to his natural color, his antennae curving backward and his extension sticking up. He twirled around trying to look at his wings, only to feel the energy through the spin. “Amazing!” he breathed, wide blue eyes sparkling in a way they hadn't in years. “It's like I became young again! Or something.”
Deoxys had been frozen in place of his stretching since Rayquaza's sudden outburst, and was aware of the attention he was bringing to himself. So thinking quickly, he straightened himself, brought out a reverent gasp, fell to his knees, and raised his hands to the sky in praise, bringing on the waterworks. A thin ray of sunshine happened to fall upon him just before he let out a breath. “I feel... new again!”
Everyone just stared at him, a few shaking their heads at his ignorance, then went back to marveling at the strange recovery. The alien pouted and grudgingly stood back up, muttering to himself about people being tasteless.
Ho-oh scrutinized himself, noticing his crown wasn't in his face anymore and his wings were giving off a brilliant glow. He turned to Shaymin, who had been reverted back to her Land Forme and was healthy as ever. She was crying tears of delight, feeling her flowers and her back the best she could. She trotted over to the lake (where Kyogre was gawking at his illuminating markings) and peeked at her reflection, weeping harder. “Oh, it's a miracle!” she squeaked. “We've been spared!”
Mew poked and prodded herself, frowning slightly. “Yeah, I don't know. Doesn't it feel different to you?” she asked, glancing over at the hedgehog. “Like... there's something missing?”
“Don't kill the mood yet, Mew!” Zapdos whined in the middle of stroking his beak. “Let's worry about that later.”
“So you feel it, too?”
“Well, yeah... I just didn't want to bring it up.”
“Kill-joy,” Articuno muttered, even though she smirked.
“Wait, feel what?” Manaphy piped up as he tugged at his antennae. “I'm not getting it.”
Uxie hardly tore his gaze from his siblings as they happily danced. “We were unconscious for about a few hours, give or take a few minutes,” he quietly explained. He raised his head a little ways. “I find it strange we passed out like that.”
“Yeah, Arceus likes to do that,” the Renegade Legendary scoffed. “Bastard must think it funny.”
“Don't talk about Arceus that way!” Shaymin chided from her place at the lake shore, spinning around to grimace at the ghostly dragon. “Show some respect!”
“I'll show respect when I'm dead, which is not for another eternity.”
Ho-oh's eyes apprehensively lit up, thinking back on what Arceus had told them just before they blacked out. After mentioning a punishment, he gave the word, and a burden was lifted then replaced with something heavier. It didn't explain the full recoveries, but that detail was too unimportant to ponder over. A miracle happened, however, it was possible this odd transition would explain their awkward tiredness. Even in the past two months, he never felt this drained.
He craned his neck toward Mew. “What is it you feel, Mew?” he mused, praying his suspicions weren't correct.
“Um... I don't know how to describe it, erm...” She chewed on her bottom lip while staring up at the clouds. “My aura... just doesn't feel the same. I feel like I'm more responsible for my actions now, like everything depends on it or something. Err... a strange sensation?” A blush of slight embarrassment burned into her cheeks. Mewtwo couldn't help but gaze transfixed at the color before turning away. She was unaware of his actions.
The phoenix sighed, massaging his forehead. Some help it was. “Well, thanks anyway for trying.”
“She's right about the aura,” Darkrai came in, his sapphire eyes glinting mysteriously. “There is something different about it. But our bodies don't feel right as well. As far as I know, we're just getting used to our new-found youth.”
“We didn't age backwards,” Uxie stated the correction, shaking his head. “No, we haven't aged since we were immortal.”
“You don't mean...?” his sister gasped, ceasing her dancing to swerve around.
“I do. Don't you remember Arceus' words, our punishment?”
Groudon growled incredulously, eyes widening as he lifted his claws to his face. “We're feeling ourselves aging?!” Strangely enough, a moment later he only furrowed his brows like he discovered or remembered a thought. “So I guess that's where they get the term 'under your skin' or however it goes.”
“Don't you mean 'out of body'?” Lugia grunted.
Ho-oh waved his wing around. “Who cares about that? Now we know the answer as to why we feel different. We are no longer immortal. Anyone else want to comment on that?”
The only response was Deoxys' usual spat of a swear as he blasted a small crater into the ground. “You have got to be screwing with us!” he furiously snapped. “I would have remembered a damn contract about that!”
“It was an oath, dumb-ass,” Rayquaza huffed to the side, his joyful attitude now gone. “And we forgot about it until Arceus reminded us.”
Latias raised an uncertain hand. “Uh... if we're mortal now... then why are we all healed?”
“Remember the story of Adam and Eve?” Latios brought to attention, glancing down at her. “It's believed that when their bodies were created, they were perfect. Even after they were made mortal, they still had a perfect body because God created it Himself.”
Giratina “pfft”ed off to the side. “Figures,” he muttered, rolling his eyes. “Everything touched by a holy being becomes perfect.” A scoff from his nose. “And where's the proof of this?”
“Well, if I had a bible—”
“Well too bad! They all burned with the world! What do you say to that?”
“Giratina, that was unnecessary,” Ho-oh said, sighing.
“Who gives a damn? What, am I going to be struck down because I said every single freakin' religious book burned? And I thought we were being given a second chance. Oh, the irony!”
Cresselia's face had been slightly darkening since Latios had mentioned the name “Adam”, her eyes paling, beak slightly opening, and levitation depleting. Deoxys snorted at the sight. “Cress, do you mind, you're attracting flies.” No answer. He crossed his arms, leaning forward. “What's your problem, anyway? It looks like you got yourself a brain aneurysm.”
Slowly, after she swallowed a few times, her words came out in a hushed whisper. “Didn't... Arceus mention something else?”
Blinks and side-glances went through the group until Heatran broke the rather awkward silence. “He did give an order and a warning before we passed out.” And then his jaw dropped, and his eyes twitched. “Oh... my...”
Eventually, after everyone thought back to the last moment with Arceus, their silent reactions differed from paling and mouthing to muttering under their breaths. Latias, after consulting telepathically with her brother about it, blanched and let out a shrill scream. “Bloody hell, Latias!” her sibling shouted, covering his ears.
“ARE YOU SERIOUS?! LATIOS, PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING!” She spun around and shook Jirachi without hesitation, frightening him even more. “IS HE TELLING THE TRUTH?!” The Wish Maker only stared terrified at her bulging eyes, too astonished to let out a whimper. The Eon dragon then burst into tears, releasing him so he dropped to the ground.
Raikou frowned, leaning over to his brother. “If I wasn't a man, I'd be crying myself.” (Suicune's mind was still in shock to comprehend what he said.)
Mew rushed forward to help calm her friend down, trying to keep herself from raising her voice, but losing. “La—Latias! Latias, it's oka—gah! Latios, do something! Latias! Just listen for a minute!”
“OH, MEW, IT'S TERRIBLE!” the female dragon only wailed, latching onto the small feline and shaking her as well. “WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!”
“I can't do this, Mew! He's my brother, my family!”
“I-I know that, Latias,” Mew struggled to keep her voice from wavering, “but w-we have no choice!”
“YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! YOU DON'T HAVE A LIVING RELATIVE! HOW CAN YOU UNDERSTA—”
The slap echoed throughout everyone's minds, visions soaking in the red imprint developing on Latias' face and Latios' raised hand. She gasped for breath, releasing her grip on her friend who moved forward to hold her. Mew glanced over at the male, silently thanking him as much as chastising him.
He lowered his arm, hanging his head. “I'm sorry,” he whispered to his sister. “I'm upset as well, but there is nothing else we can do. You're not the only one distressed about this. We all are. About half of us have siblings.”
“Hey, Latios, does the Bible give the a-okay on incest?” Giratina chortled mockingly.
Ho-oh stepped forward, giving a harsh warning glare to the Renegade Legendary as his feathers bristled. “That's enough! I don't want to hear about it!”
The ratted wings twitched in what was interpreted as a shrug. “But it's just a question.”
“I don't care! Procreation is not something to joke about, especially at a time like this!”
Articuno moaned, crossing her wings over her chest. “Please don't say you're serious about this.”
The Sky Guardian looked over at her, causing her to shiver. “I am. But I wasn't the one to suggest this.”
She grimaced, slowly turning her head to Zapdos, who was shrinking within himself. “...eew.”
“I'm not thrilled with it either, Art,” her sister agreed, stepping away from her brother. Uncomfortable enough as he was, he only glimpsed at each of his sisters, brows raised.
“None of us are,” Ho-oh sighed, shaking his head. “It's a very touchy subject... but it was bound to happen sooner or later. Even without Arceus' confirmation, it would have had to happen eventually. Unfortunately...” He trailed off, frowning deeply for a bird. Everyone leaned in, though a few didn't look too anxious to know the answer. With a breath, the phoenix finished, “...there are thirty-three of us.”
“Heh, so? That's plenty!” Raikou exclaimed rather pleasingly. He received many glares, forcing him to shrink back and rethink his thoughts. “Uh... odd-one out?”
Eyes narrowed in annoyance, Ho-oh added, “Of that, there are only eight females.”
Everyone else began to murmur amongst themselves. “We have to share?!” came from Groudon in whose disappointment wasn't all that surprising. He growled loudly, and the others were expecting him to throw a tantrum, or destroy something. Instead, he face-palmed and complained up into the heavens, “This is not what I had in mind!”
Deoxys, in the meantime, had a rather smug smirk visible in his eyes. “Well, guess we'll have to cast lots or first dibs.” Chuckling a little to himself, he placed his hands behind his head, and announced loudly, “Now who wants to be my Eve?” He turned to Cresselia, winking. “How about you, toots?”
“Even if you were the last Pokémon on Earth, I wouldn't have wanted you within a hundred miles of me,” she snidely remarked, up-turning her beak.
“Isn't that a little too clichéd?”
“Fine, I'll be more direct with you. NO!”
It managed to bring out a few laughs in the group along with “Nice try, Deoxys!” and, “Better luck next time!” The alien raised a hand, rolling his eyes. “Fine, be that way. I never wanted you anyway. Guess I'll have to find a new Eve, one who'll appreciate me for who I am.”
“I appreciate you,” Rayquaza quipped, hiding a smirk.
Deoxys didn't bother casting a glance at him. “Ehh... sorry. You're not my type.”
“Am I not good enough? I thought I was bitch-material.” Entei roared with laughter before he was silenced by Suicune.
“Not that term!” the DNA Legendary hissed nervously.
“My mistake. I'm more of a whore.”
“The hell, Rayquaza!”
“Is that what you think of us, Deoxys?” Shaymin scowled, leering up at him. He flinched under her look, the dark eyes containing an awakening flame that sharpened her appearance. “You think of us as harlots?” Moltres gave a rather horrified, displeased gasp, sending him her lethal glare.
“NO! That's what I think of Rayquaza! No, I see females as individual beings with their own—uh—accommodations in life and thus have the right to make their own choices.” Had he a mouth, Deoxys would be grinning sheepishly. The eight females bored a hole into his stomach, and he sighed in defeat, hanging his head.
Lugia guffawed from behind. “Cock-blocked!” Articuno harshly smacked him upside the head so he crashed face-down onto the dirt.
Ho-oh had enough of the jokes and was ready to bust a cap. “That does it! If anyone says one more gag about this ordeal, then I'll... um... exile that Legendary!” In his mind, he fought with himself as to what the actual punishment would be and keep himself from humiliation.
Of course, everyone caught on. “You don't have a penalty, do you?” Regice said matter-of-factly.
“Quiet, I'm thinking.”
“Sir, we can talk about this later if that's what you're implying,” Suicune advised, slightly nodding her head.
“No, Suicune, we need to make a plan anyway,” he said, somewhat exasperated. “Keep talking, hopefully something will come up.”
“To be honest, sir, we weren't really... brainstorming.”
“Yeah, and I don't want to bang my sister!” Entei verbalized without shame.
She let out a disgusted cry and slapped him upside the head, face red in anger and embarrassment. “I swear to everything that is holy, Entei, I will inflict bodily harm on you if you don't start thinking before speaking!” she screeched. “Or better yet, why don't you just say nothing at all!”
“Well what do you want me to say, that I don't want to have sex with my sister?” he whimpered, clutching his head.
“GODDAMN IT, ENTEI!”
After the beatings were over, Uxie gingerly gave his inputed opinion. “There's an egg compatibility we need to keep in mind of. Not all of us will be able to... create with the same person. There will be those who will be able to match them them all, and then there will be others who only get a few.”
“And how do we figure this out?” Ho-oh inquired.
“Blood tests are the simplest way to do it.”
“Uxie, we... really don't have the equipment and the time to check this,” Azelf quietly said his part. “The way I see it, we'll all just have to... take turns.” He shuffled in place and looked up at the Sky Guardian.
After a moment of silence, the phoenix solemnly nodded his head. “That seems to be the only other way I can think of. Problem is, we'll need to create hundreds of species. And I doubt any of us can change a fetus' DNA at will.”
“Well, why can't Celebi just go back in time and bring back a few more females?” Zapdos suggested impatiently. “Preferably attractive ones.” He ignored the glowers of his sisters. “Scratch that, prevent this disaster from ever occurring.”
“It doesn't work like that,” the pixie counteracted. “There are certain events in Earth's history that were destined, you could say, to happen. You can extend the time it takes to get to it, but it would eventually come to pass. Trust me when I say I've tried to keep world peace going as long as I could until Time refused to allow anymore alterations. And the rest... heh... is history.” He sadly gave a tiny smile, folding his arms. “As for the females from the past... I'd rather not. Consider it a waste of energy.”
The thunder bird scoffed. “Well, it was just a suggestion.”
The Knowledge fairy then swerved his head in Mew's direction, forming a knot in her gut. “There may be a solution. Legends say a Mew has the DNA of all Pokémon, that all life came from the first Mew, who was titled the Mother of Pokémon.” He levitated up to her, the gem on his forehead glowing. “This is asking a lot, and who knows how well your body can handle it... but first we must know if a Mew can alter DNA for different species.”
She wrung her hands, biting her lip. “I... I'm not sure. I think so. I mean, I've heard stories—legends really. But I don't know, we may have lost that ability. I'm sure Mother knew the answer, it's custom the females are taught such things when we reach sexual maturity, but she died when I was small. She was... from what I can remember, fairly young.” Her ears drooped. “Sorry I couldn't help you.”
Uxie placed a hand delicately on her shoulder, a small smile on his face. “How long ago was this, Mew?”
“...A little over a millennium ago.” Her breath caught for a few moments. “Sometime afterwards, about a couple of decades later, I was given an opportunity to be a Legendary, to guard the world. I agreed, and was given immortality. I haven't aged since.”
“Well, yes. My birthdays were pretty meaningless, I suppose.” Mew forced a smile on her face. “Except the wiser part, anyway.”
He nodded and let her go. “If I had to take a guess, I'd say you're in the right age group to stay healthy throughout this, erm, trial. I'm sorry to say, Mew, that a lot will be placed on your shoulders.”
“Gee, that's comforting to know,” she dryly said, not meaning for it to be purposeful. “Thanks for making me feel better.”
“But what about her gene altering or whatever it is?” Palkia pressured. “How's that going to work?”
“Don't you mean gene splicing?” Moltres tried to amend.
“What, no! I didn't mean it like that! No offense, Mewtwo.”
The psycat only briefly nodded, arms folded loosely and gaze directed at the graying horizon. His silence caught attention, everyone focusing on him. Celebi tilted his head. “Hey, you okay there, Mewtwo? You haven't said a word the whole time we've been up.”
“Probably just brooding about life again,” Kyogre muttered. “Must not know what we're talking about.”
“Maybe he's still in shock?” Jirachi guessed worriedly.
“Brain-dead wise? Maybe.” Mewtwo scowled, sending a wary look his way. “Uh... silent treatment? I don't remember pissing him off, though.”
Shaymin stepped to his side, gazing up at the feline. “Mewtwo, is there something you need to say?”
She wasn't far off, Mewtwo was impressed at how well she could read expressions. Ever since the notation of them being mortal, he had tried to speak out his opinion about it—many times. However, he found himself unable to communicate with the others. It was like a barrier was separating their minds, reflecting or absorbing the words he tried to say. He struggled with it until the subject changed, and then chose to remain silent. It was a conversation he didn't want to talk about at the moment, and was somewhat grateful this undetectable shield kept him from speaking out.
“Mewtwo, you need to say something,” the little hedgehog continued, her tone of voice growing more terse. “Whatever it is, it must be important.” His vision remained on the horizon line. It made it more convincing he was choosing to ignore them.
“I think he's shy,” Darkrai snickered, only to be cut off from Cresselia's scorn.
“Or maybe he's lost for words,” Regigigas took his guess, shrugging his massive shoulders.
“Who, Mewtwo? I don't see that happening,” Giratina said, rolling his eyes. “He's too smart for that. I'd mistake his brain for a ticking time bomb, it's always in motion.”
“...what?” Dialga blankly said.
Mewtwo cracked a tiny smile at his stupid remark. The slight change in expression was like headline news. “Oh, there is a God after all!” Groudon sighed, raising his claws to the heavens. “He made a beautiful composition in that smile!”
“Took the words out of my mouth,” Rayquaza nodded, giving the titan a high-five with his tail.
He tilted his head at the small voice, to lock eyes with her, expression unchanging. Mew inwardly flinched that she took it upon herself to glance up at her clone, to stare at the amethyst gaze that haunted her the past two months. She shivered at how mellow his eyes were, at how he looked upon her. It made her wonder if he really had no idea what had happened the previous day; someone who was so cruel could never look the same way again, especially not twice.
She irregularly inhaled deep breaths, trying to keep herself in reality and not fantasize about that day. “Mewtwo, are you feeling well?”
Oh Lord, what was making her feel sorry for him? Was it a change of heart from the disaster they witnessed? It made sense, the whole thing was traumatizing, not even the most cold-hearted person could keep from being haunted by it. Or was it that expression, the one that was cutting into her, making her feel guilty for her past actions against him? Mewtwo rarely ever expressed emotion visibly, and even if he did (here she subconsciously raised a hand to her throat) it was through rage. His angry rant must have come out without him realizing it. It never crossed her mind she could have hurt him.
The silent clone kept a close observation, watching as she fidgeted in place, taking in breaths and averting making eye-contact. She was feeling uncomfortable talking to him, it was similar to when he yelled at her before his sudden blackout. He had been losing it and was close to spilling his heart out, something that never happened. He held many burdensome secrets, the sins and horrors he never let anyone know about. Scyther—God rest his soul, he prayed—was only given part of it. Not even Pikatwo and Meowtwo knew about it. The heart he never thought he had existed because of it. If it was let loose, Mewtwo feared he wouldn't have a meaning in the world anymore. And from what he saw in her melancholy eyes, she didn't need anything else to break her heart and spirit. Not after what he did.
“...Mewtwo, pay attention to me, dammit!” And Deoxys marched forward and yanked the cord behind his head.
The scream emitted from the throat of Mewtwo chilled everyone to the bone, a few feeling the blood drain from their faces. Mew backed away a few feet, trembling in fear and awe. He spun around, teeth bared, and socked the surprised alien in the face with a fist. “YOU JACKASS, YOU COULD KILL ME BY DOING THAT!”
Once the echoes faded into the distance and the only sounds were their beating hearts, the negative tension that filled the area began to throb away. The psycat slowly lowered his arm, relaxing his hand. Deoxys remained frozen on the ground, shaken up more than the others. For a brief minute, Lugia thought Mewtwo was going berserk again and had shielded Articuno from view. The two hardly moved from their (awkward) position even when the atmosphere calmed down.
Slowly, almost hesitantly, Ho-oh gave a nearly inaudible whisper. “Wha... what was that?”
Astonished himself, Mewtwo ran his fingers against his throat. The rumble from within felt unnatural. “I... I am not sure...” He cast his eyes about the Legendaries, taking in their perturbed expressions. “This has never... I could have sworn I was mute.”
Uxie let out a breath he had been holding, tilting his head back. “If what Latios has said is true... that we were made perfect being healed by Arceus...” His mouth formed a serious, almost thoughtful line. “Mewtwo, how did you know you could communicate telepathically?”
“I honestly have not a clue,” he responded truthfully. “I knew I could communicate, and I was merely thinking to myself. It could be I never had any control over my powers at birth and thus my thoughts were made broadcast. I suppose it became habit.”
“Then why can you not speak with it?”
“Again, I do not know. Something was blocking my every attempt to contact everyone. It was not that I forgot how, I just... could not break through.”
The fairy nodded. “How peculiar. I suppose if that's the case... I no longer need to rely on my mental sight.”
His siblings and a few others gasped in fright. Mesprit grabbed his arm tightly. “Don't do it, Uxie! You don't know that for sure!”
He gave a sad smile. “Then if I was wrong after all, I will not blame you if you all become barbaric and eat me on instinct.” And his eyelids snapped open.
Nearly everyone covered their own eyes automatically. Mewtwo, not out of stupid curiosity but of puzzlement, stared back at the golden oculars he shared with his brother and sister. Uxie smiled back at him. “You're either a brave soul, or you are suicidal,” he replied wryly. “Or just plain stupid.”
Shaking his head, the clone stated, “I am confused as to what the commotion is about. What was it about you that you keep your eyes closed?” He caught a glimpse of Ho-oh peeking out from his feathers. The bird slowly lowered his wings, a worried look on his face.
“I am the one who gave humans knowledge. But I can take it away, well, at least through memories. Just one look in my eyes, and in three days the brain shuts down, intelligence-wise. It's a terrible death, the malfunction of the brain. The victim is forever a vegetable, trapped inside the body until they die.” By this time, the Legendaries were all relaxing one by one, daring to glance at the golden irises. The fairy sadly sighed, not showing signs he could feel their stares. “I suppose I can thank God that the curse may have been lifted from me.”
Deoxys broke the mood by hollering, “OH DEAR MERCIFUL ARCEUS OR GOD, IT BURNS!”
“Stupid, the joke's over,” Lugia grumbled, shaking his head at the alien's arrogance. “You're just making an ass out of yourself.”
A low gurgling rumble suddenly sounded, turning heads and making faces wince. Kyogre slightly lifted his head up out of the water, raising a brow quizzically at the expressions. “What's going on? Why is everyone looking uncomfortable?”
“You didn't hear that?” his rival asked, a little surprised.
The bubbling noise returned. “There, didn't you hear that?”
“Sounded like a stomach growling,” Manaphy stated, glancing at the other Legendaries' faces. “I don't blame him, we haven't had anything to eat in over a day.”
“Bah, eating is out of the question, we eat when we feel like it,” Giratina barked. “I'd say someone has something bad in their system.” His eyes then trailed down to the Legendary Beasts, and held back a snicker. “What's gotten into you, Entei? You're all tense.”
The siblings looked at their brother, who was hunching over and joints were locking. He was so stiff, his body quaked while he tried to keep a whine stuck in his throat. His eyes darted to and fro, betraying his need of aid. “What's the matter with you?” Raikou asked, waving a paw in his face. “You look like you've seen a ghost or something.”
Entei swiftly shook his head, accidentally smacking his sister with the mane. “N-No... it's-s-s not that at all.”
“Are you still hurting? Damn, Suicune, how hard did you hit him this time?”
“It's not from Suicune, I swear.”
“Well something's spooking you. You need to lie down?”
“I'm afraid if I do...” He turned to his sister. “Sis, I feel like my guts are going to explode!”
She incredulously snorted, but didn't say anything. Desperately, he looked over at Ho-oh, who was standing there not having an idea what was wrong with him until he requested, “Repeat what you said.”
“I think my guts are going to explode or something! I'm trying... to keep it in!” The lion-like beast's face grimaced, his teeth gnashing as his tremblings increased.
Almost immediately, Celebi screamed, “Get far away from us, Entei! Do it quick or you won't make it!”
“Where do I go?!” he wailed.
“Anywhere, it doesn't matter! Just far away from us as possible! Now go!”
Without any hesitation (or a push from Suicune), Entei obeyed. His run was humorously awkward as he sped for the horizon, a mix between a sprint and a hop or skip. After watching him leave, they all turned to the Time Traveler for an explanation. Twiddling his fingers nervously, he responded, “Err... I've hung out around human civilization long enough to know... that this wasn't going to be pretty.”
“Define the antonym for 'pretty',” Palkia pressured, though he was regretting ever opening his mouth.
“Is this something we should or should not know about?”
“...a little bit of both.”
“So we should know, but then again we really shouldn't, is that what you're implying?”
“Oh for goodness' sake, Cel, just tell us!” Dialga shouted, wanting to smack his rival. “No one's really going to care!”
Celebi quickly looked behind him. “I think we should have Entei tell us when he gets back.”
“Please, like anything he says make sense,” Suicune scoffed. “We'd be here all day trying to figure it out.”
Shaymin's eyes nearly bugged out as her thoughts brought up a memory. “Wait a sec. We're mortal, right? Aren't there some things that were... 'shut down' when we were granted immortality?”
Ho-oh craned his neck in thought. “Some. There's the common belief that immortals don't bleed because they have no blood, but we still bled. I was probably thinking about gods, though, so I guess that doesn't really count. Mmm... well for one thing, we eat when we feel like it, but we can't go for long periods of time without losing the nutritions needed.” Though it went unnoticed, Mew held herself when a cold vibe ran through her body. “Sleep is more of a desire if we felt like it, again, but lack of it can still be unhealthy. Same with water... we never get sick, though. We have developed an immunity to sicknesses...”
“I should have worded it different,” the hedgehog sighed. “No, I meant are there some quirky things mortals go through in life?”
“Sex,” Deoxys coughed, pounding his chest and ducking a swing from Moltres' wing.
“Oh my God, Celebi, just tell us!” Dialga complained loudly.
“Tell us what?” Entei butted in, startling those caught off-guard.
Suicune groaned, laying a paw over her eyes and clearing the way for Raikou to explain. “He said he knows why you ran off like that.” His oculars then narrowed in suspicion. “What happened out there?”
His brother's eyelid twitched and his nose wrinkled. “I have no idea, it happened so fast. But it was gross and smelly.”
“Did you dig a hole, Entei?” Celebi spoke up, which awarded him a few glares.
“Was I supposed to?”
Shaking his head, the pixie then jabbed a finger in the air and announced, “Okay everyone, a word of advice: always dig a hole and stay out from the open.”
“Oh yes, that's wonderful advice, if we knew what we were up against!” Palkia snarled. “Besides, it's not like we've never heard about it before.”
“I thought you said you didn't know what it was,” came the smug remark, a mischievous grin on his face.
“D-Dammit, Celebi, you know what I mean! Bah, can you at least give us a hint?” Celebi only gestured to Entei. “What, it has to do with stupidity?”
“I'm not stupid, I'm just different!”
Latios slapped his forehead, groaning. “Forget it, guys, we're getting nowhere with this.” There then came another gurgle, and his eyes widened with everyone else. He swerved his head to his sister, who burned with embarrassment as she clutched herself. “Aw, f...”
“I can't help it,” she squeaked, tensing up. “It just... came so suddenly.”
“Uh oh... I'm getting that feeling, too.” And Jirachi wavered.
“It's freakin' contagious?!” Deoxys shouted, falling to his knees. “Oh, God, why are you doing this to us?!”
“Deoxys, that doesn't help one bit!” Cresselia snapped.
“I'm the one yelling it, not you!”
“Before things get too chaotic about this, everyone, whether you have to or not, head someplace far away!” Ho-oh ordered over the growing commotion. “Take Celebi's advice and—dare I say it—pray it's a false alarm! Entei, stay here, we'll return shortly.”
The volcanic beast nodded, and stood in place, watching everyone run off in different directions at once like they were fleeing from an epidemic. (Which, he thought, must have been him.) After some swears from a few Legendaries, and when the last one disappeared from view, everything was quiet. The silence made him shiver in place; the slightest howl of wind somewhere, anywhere, caused him to twitch. It may be only for a few minutes, but Entei felt like he was the last being on Earth. It frightened him. To keep himself calm, and to reassure himself everything was all right, he began to talk to himself, which was against his sister's orders.
“Aw man... did they really have to leave me here?” he whimpered. “I don't care that it's still light out and there's open space, it's just so creepy... Okay, Entei, remember what Ho-oh said, right? They'll be back. They're doing what you did a few minutes ago. Why are you thinking that, that's gross. Come on, guys, hurry it up. I'm not supposed to be by myself for long periods of time...”
“That's what you get for being a dumb-ass,” a gruff voice grunted, and his shoulder devil appeared in a puff of crimson smoke. He put down the pitchfork he had been carrying in his mouth to sneer. “If you had listened to what I said, you wouldn't be in this mess.”
“It wasn't my fault,” Entei sniveled, frowning down on his entity. “That creepy guy was chasing after me. He cornered me, I didn't have a choice!”
“Entei's right, he didn't have any other choice.” When the white smoke cleared, the shoulder angel appeared halo and all, the cloud it rested upon morphing frequently. “The cliff was over a healthy forest. He at least managed to get away. Granted, he lost his footing, but don't make fun of him.”
“Baby cherub is right, stop making fun of me!”
A “pfft” when the devil waved a paw. “Whatever, if I was him, I would have set him on fire. Fire, fire!” And he barreled over in psychotic laughter.
“I don't like setting things on fire.” He remembered the lake. “Not on purpose.”
The Entei-angel patted him on the cheek. “There, there, it's not your fault. You've been getting better.”
“Not as fast as he would like. I blame Suicune, she's such a bitch.”
“Hey, don't talk about my sister like that!” Entei growled.
“What makes you think I said it, bub?” the devil smirked evilly.
“Because I would never call Suicune tha—”
“OH MY GO-O-O-O-D!”
The echoing scream made Entei and his companions jump (and squeal with fright). From the distance, he could hear a few Legendaries yell at Lugia to shut up and deal with it. Looking at each of his entities in concern, he ran off in the water dragon's direction. It didn't take long to reach him, and he skidded to a halt beside him. “What happened here?” he asked, taking note of the beast staring in horror at the grayed bush before them.
“I-I just happened to look over and spot a...” His face grimaced, and he groaned. “Oh, it's disgusting.”
“Yeah, I know. I thought I was going to die.”
“What, no, not that.” He timidly pointed at the brush. “It's what's in there.”
Feeling adventurous, Entei poked his head through the bristles, and his face fell. Lying there in a crumpled heap was a decomposing corpse still in uniform. He yelped and stumbled away, keeping back a gag. “That's gross!” he gasped. “Oh, why'd you pick this spot, Lug? It smells of death everywhere!”
“I didn't know it was there until I looked for the source. Did you see the eyeball staring at you?”
A shiver ran through the volcanic dog's spine. “I don't think so.”
“Oh, guess it must've gotten knocked out or something when I moved.”
“Should we bury it, or leave it here?”
“I was thinking that after we get over the shock of it, we can take it back to the others and freak them out.”
“I'm not touching that.”
They stood there for a moment's silence, growing dizzy from lack of oxygen (they were trying not to breathe in). When they couldn't take it anymore, the two hurried back to the group, attempting to shake off the horrid scent and tremors.
Suicune scowled at her brother. “Where'd you run off to? You were told to stay here.”
After taking in a long—and rather loud—breath, he replied calmly, “Lugia screamed, didn't you hear him?”
“Who didn't? Scared the crap out of me. Literally.” Zapdos' eye twitched.
Deoxys gave the thunder bird an odd look before crossing his arms and glancing up at the sea beast. “What do you have to say for yourself, Lugia?” he said harshly. “Was it an emergency that you just had to scream it out to make yourself feel better?”
“We found a dead guy!” Lugia piped up without shame.
“Okay, what's Lugia rambling on about this time?” Rayquaza grunted, settling off a ways from everyone. “Actually, I'm surprised it's not Entei this time.”
“Dead guy in the bushes!” the mentioned Legendary repeated. “It was gross!” His sister swiped him upside the head.
The Air Titan rolled his eyes. “Duh. I saw one too, but you didn't hear me sing my heart out.” He sneered in Lugia's direction.
He threw his wings up in defense. “How was I supposed to know it was there? I didn't really feel like looking around.”
“Then next time keep your trap shut about it. I honestly thought you were getting a heart attack out there.”
Latias swooped into the picture, anxiously staring up at Lugia. “What happened out there?” she squeaked. “You okay?”
“Can we wait until everyone else is here before you bother telling us again?” Zapdos muttered. “I don't want to hear it another hundred times.”
“Is this another of your 'I'm very visual' excuses?” the alien muttered.
“No, I just don't want either of them to repeat it a gazillion times.”
“But you said 'hundred',” Entei corrected.
“You know what, Entei, just shout it out to the heavens, why don't you!” he snapped, electricity crackling from his wings when he flapped them in irritated defeat. “Everyone can pretty much hear you no matter how far they are! So just shout it out! Go on!”
Shrugging, he took it up on the offer, and hollered as loud as he could, “You guys won't believe it, we found a dead guy! It was sick!” Then he spread on a goofy grin. “How's that?”
Zapdos only gave an “a-okay” gesture with his feathers, his face clearly screaming sarcasm.
Latias, in the meantime, fainted.
The afternoon was spent (or wasted, depended on the Legendary's intake of it) on splitting up and scavenging through the land of Orre for anything of interest, or to perform a few duties such as burying corpses, and finding food, or at least the seeds. They had gone in groups, only for some to be cut in half due to intense arguments or complaints; others mainly because they weren't teaming up as well. The one group who had Registeel lost him in a deserted town for a time until he was found constructing a life-size figure of himself, claiming he was making himself a mate.
“Because there are only eight females, but Mew's the only fertile one,” he indicated when asked about it. “The only thing I'm missing right now is how to bring her to life.”
“And 'she' is missing internal and reproductive organs,” Celebi had blankly pointed out, unimpressed. He was received the finger, and the iron-clad Legendary was relocated to a different group.
In another, Cresselia appeared to have gone missing for a moment, but they found her reporting/protesting to Ho-oh about Deoxys' shrewd comments. “I can't take it anymore!” she practically shrilled hysterically. “I've put up with him and his sexual harassment for far too long! I demand a restraining order!”
“Which requires a judge to approve,” he butted in with his smart-aleck statements.
They were reassigned to two separate groups. Cresselia remained with the original—which contained Darkrai and Jirachi—while Deoxys went with Rayquaza and Entei. After a cruel joke about “extra protein” in the corpses, they had to return to the campsite with stomachaches and for the alien's punishment. The short naps the two were required to take ended up having them suffering nightmares in which Cresselia was called back to heal them. Which in turn resulted in the failure of the restraining order. (She couldn't conjure up any dreams.)
Sometime in the late hours of the afternoon, everyone had regrouped together for a lunch break consisting of what some were able to salvage from any trees found still intact. Raikou returned a little later with a strange human article laid upon his head. “What'd you do this time?” his sister grumbled, glaring at the dirtied object.
“Nothing, all I did was look through rubble in some town not far from here.” He wrinkled his nose. “Why? Am I really that dirty?”
“No, you have something on your head.”
He dropped it at his feet. They all stared quizzically at the curiously-rounded protruding cups and small hooks. The electric tiger didn't even blink. “Oh, that. That's my new hat-earmuffs of sorts. Keeps the ears warm and dust-free. Neat thing, it is. And the great thing about it is the inside is padded, so it's rather comfortable.” He then grinned. “It's weird, it's like it was made to fit my head. I think the straps are supposed to hook underneath my chin, but I don't have thumbs, so I couldn't test it to be sure.”
“Where'd you find it?” Azelf spoke up, brows raising slightly.
“Erm... I think it was once a house, I dunno. There were a lot just like it, but this one was cleaner and fit more. Pretty cool, eh?”